with all to respect, why don't you just go on fanfiction.net and publish this story and then give us a single link.... just seems like this was pointless :/
with all to respect, why don't you just go on fanfiction.net and publish this story and then give us a single link.... just seems like this was pointless :/
, ,, , , ,, (times 9 XD), and an emolga(with perfect iv and modest nature emolga only)
hunting shiny: , , , , in you have any of these contact me!.
pokemon wanted non shiny- , , , if you have any of these contact me for highest offer! items, pokerus, pokemon i'll see what i can do.
never used pokegen or pokeSAV
Thanks for your input, Sid87. Yeah, there's some racism going on with Spiritomb and it was Ritchie from the anime.
rules. But if you really want a ff.net link it's on the first post.
All or a part of your story must be in this first post. You can NOT link to your fic on another site, only post character biographies, only give a summary/introduction, or say “I will post my fic later.” These threads will be instantly closed.
Last edited by ChloboShoka; 11th June 2012 at 7:45 AM.
Spiritomb would often speak in pride about his two daughters. I had only seen his youngest, Little-Wit. I think that Little-Wit is most likely to be his favourite daughter, he talks about her the most. I'm sure he loves Minerva just as much, but I don't think they really see each other. To be fair, Spiritomb is very lucky to be able to see his direct family. Not many pokémon from the working class can say that they're still in contact with their biological relatives.
The same could go for the domestic class. Pokémon get captured, released, traded away, sent to day care and get to travel. There were a lot of pokémon social classes acknowledged, but the class terms are only used in education institutions nowadays.
At this current moment in time, there were 649 species registered as pokémon in the national pokédex. Back when I was a chansey, they didn't have national dexes. Pokédexes were pretty poor because they only did regional dexes, pokémon that originated from other regions where classified as missingno. The healing machine wrongly diagnosed them with the Hacked Syndrome and they didn't enforce the Drug Protection For Pokémon Act properly until I worked here.
Regardless of Spiritomb's state of mind, he would have been considered a glitch to the pokédex, because his species was registered under Sinnoh's pokédex. They had recently added pokémon that originated from Unova onto the national pokédex, so Spiritomb's daughter, Little-Wit would have been officially seen by the Pokémon League as a pokémon.
They were still major flaws in my opinion, although I can see it's improvements. Kanto had always been the ultimate pokémon region. If a pokémon didn't originate from Kanto, then it wasn't a pokémon according to the experts at the time. Then they added pokémon from Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh and Unova respectively.
The pokémon god, Arceus wasn't added to the national pokédex until they added all of the Sinnoh pokémon. It was shocking that hardly any trainers (apart from the ones that specialise in ghosts) knew about Arceus until he was added by the league. Don't they teach religion any more? Criminal gangs know more about pokémon than the league does, but they're slowly catching up with the help of Bulba University, Smogon University and the University Of Orre.
The former Gym Leader of Viridian City discovered that Rhydon could evolve in the same underground clinic I used to work for in Kanto. He also owned Team Rocket and quickly evacuated when defeated by a young boy who would eventually become the Kanto Champion. The underground clinic was converted into underground trains. Although Little-Wit has told me that they've reserved some of the clinic as museum.
Little-Wit sat quietly in the staff's lounge, munching on assorted berries. Next to her, was a mismagius, whom I've never met before. I assumed it was Little-Wit's older half-sister, Minerva. On the opposite side of them, Sparkles was spending her lunch break sleeping.
“Hi Matron,” Little-Wit said. “When does Dad's shift end?”
“He'll be out soon,” I replied. “I told him to have a bit of a rest before he goes home. So... how's your mother been?”
“Our mothers are gone,” Little-Wit responded. She tilted her head down as she continued with, “They were traded away to someone from Brazil.”
“You must be Minerva then?” I asked with my eyes on the mismagius. They both nodded as Minerva hand-picked the darkest berries left.
“Yes,” Minerva nodded her head. “I'm a care assistant at Lavender Town Nursing Home.”
“It used to be a beautiful place,” Little-Wit added. “Until they converted Pokémon Tower to a radio station. It was a lot of fun when it was a cemetery.”
“Lavender Town's still a nice town,” Minerva objected. “A lot of people were sceptical about the radio tower, but we've gotten use to it now. Why they did it? I don't know, but Mr. Fuji has built a memorial house next to where I work.”
“Mr. Fuji's a nice man.” He came several times to the underground clinic, requesting that they took greater responsibility of the pokémon in their care. One of his relatives was involved with trying to get Mew pregnant.
Minerva didn't speak much about herself other than the fact she worked in a nursing home. Little-Wit had discussed about her time in Lavender Town until Spiritomb came into the staff room.
“I've booked the two weeks off,” Spiritomb told us. “I'll be spending a lot more time with my little gem.”
“What about me?” Minerva asked.
“And you too Matilda,” Spiritomb asked.
“...It's Minerva. Matilda's been traded away,” Minerva moaned. There was a tint of sadness in the tone of her voice. Little-Wit was too young to notice it, but I could. “Maybe you should go to the respite in Celadon for a while.”
“Why do we have to go to Celadon?” Spiritomb asked. “I thought you worked in Lavender Town?”
“Oh I still do,” Minerva responded. Her enthusiasm seemed to increased at the sight of her father's deteriorating. “You'll need a rest after working so hard. Come on, Agatha's waiting for us.”
“Sure,” Spiritomb said. “Let's hope she wins big on them slot machines.”
“I think we'll be visiting Bertha first,” Little-Wit said, looking up to her father. “She's not been very well lately.”
“Oh that's unfortunate,” Spritomb said. “Her quagsire was in not so long ago.” Spiritomb followed his daughters out of the staff room. Before leaving the room, he turned around and said to me, “see you in a fortnight, Matron!”
Sparkles remained laying flat on the chairs. There was nothing else for me to do here: my lunch break had ended. I could still hear Sparky, the pikachu from the A&E ward wailing in agony. The injuries he sustained were vicious, but losing his trainer was what left him distraught. If Sparky keeps going, he'll develop a soar throat. Telling him to stop would only make it worse. I don't think it's right to tell someone when to stop grieving. I'm sure it will all be fine by the time he's ready to sleep.
I went into the discharge ward to have a check up on some of the patients. They need access to fluids at all times. I was happy to see that Mr. Fierce was there, but I had hoped that he would have been gone.
Mr. Fierce was in-between a sleepy bisharp, known as Bishop and a timid cubone named Phantom. Phantom was a strange cubone. He collapsed in the shopping centre from deficiency in nutrients. He was also one of the fussiest eaters I had ever met, but he also seemed to have valid reasons. We had to put him on the drip because we were concerned that he may die of hunger.
And all he'd ever eat was spinach and cabbage. As healthy as they are, he needed much more than greens to gain health.
Phantom's ribs above his stomach and spikes on the tail horrified me. This Cubone had anorexia nervosa. Luckily we managed talk to his trainer about introducing regular meals and a healthy and balanced diet. Phantom's trainer had been going through diet fazes which Phantom had tried to picked up on, but confused him along the way.
“I can't have this drink,” Phantom announced. Holding his bone in both hands he pushed the drink to the corner of the table.
“Of course you can,” I said.
“I'm diabetic I can't drink it.”
“I'm aware of your diabetes,” I assured Phantom. I held the drink to him and told him, “but this juice is suitable for diabetic people.” This reminded me of the times where he had his dinner. On his first night in the hospital, he refused to eat his beef lasagne because he said he was a vegetarian and that he was on the Atkins diet so he couldn't have any food with carbohydrates in them.
One time he was served an omelette, but he refused to have it because he said he was a vegan. He wouldn't have his pudding because he was scared it would effect his diabetes. In the end, the other pokémon patients would polish his plate on his behalf.
Pokémon should never go on those kind of diets. Never!
“Go on have it!” Mr. Fierce told Phantom. “You don't want to go on the drip again.”
With his free hand, Phantom reached for his blackcurrant juice and took a sip. Bishop's eyes shot open. He jumped on the bed when he saw Phantom drinking.
“Oh my goodness,” Bishop cried. “Phantom's having something.”
“Well done Phantom.” I patted his head as he tucked into a bowl of peanuts.
“Was I asleep for long?” Bishop asked.
“Not really,” croaked Mr. Fierce. “That pikachu's still at it though. I couldn't really sleep that much to be honest.”
“I didn't get a wink of sleep last,” Bishop confessed. “I was in A&E and the noise was dreadful. And I thought my wounds were bad, but everyone else seemed to have it twice as worse as me.”
As I walked away from Mr. Fierce, Bishop and Phantom, I wondered how much Kanto had changed since I left. From what Minerva and Little-Wit have said, it seems to have changed immensely. I wonder if they'll start making dangerous drugs such as action replay, game shark, game genie, and equalizer illegal? Action Replay Pills were still commercially available in Kanto.
Maybe if they stopped selling it, so many pokémon wouldn't die from the hacked syndrome. The hospital's expert of the hacked syndrome will be on holiday for two weeks, we had a reputation of giving the best care to people with that disease. Will be still be able to save lives without Spiritomb's assistance?
Last edited by ChloboShoka; 10th August 2012 at 12:22 AM.
Yoooo, first time reviewing, haha.
This immeadiatley caught my attention when I first saw it. I've never seen anyone write about the medical part of Pokémon training and I'm glad I started reading this. Matron Blissey is just amusing. For some reason, she seems like a cross between Nurse Joy and House: Sweet and kind, but brilliant with a scent of sarcasm. Probably just me though.
The little trinkets you put in it make it so... REAL. The operation of Mr Fierce, the drama of a team losing it's trainer, but the best was probably Mew giving birth. T'was the most realistic (and probably the most disgusting) thing.
On to this chapter, it was amazing as usual. Spiritomb ignoring Minerva kind of seems a case of Daddy's Little Girl, Screw the Older Children to me, which can just evolve as the fic goes on. Something else I like in this fic.
Something I'd like to point out though, is that I can't really picture what Little-Wit looks like. Knowing that she's a Unova Ghost type helps me narrow it down to two, plus her name DOES kinda give away which species she is, but still.
Unfortunatley, you have a few grammar mistakes. Otherwise, it would've been perfect.
Should be "Our mothers are gone.“Our mothers have gone,”
Quagsire.“Her quagshire was in not so long ago.”
Either you say This Cubone had anorexia nervosa or This was a Cubone with anorexia nervosa. The former sounds a bit better though.This was a cubone had anorexia nervosa
I might be wrong on this one (sorry in advance), but I'm sure you need to add a comma and a "but" after omelette.One time he was served an omelette he refused to have it because he said he was a vegan.
And here is my review. Great fic C.Gholy, keep on at it!
Last edited by GalladeofSpades; 13th June 2012 at 9:32 PM. Reason: Multiple Typos have invaded this post. All have been exterminated. I hope.
Thanks to Sweet May for the idea of this chapter.
Ursula was not a friendly teddy bear. Let's put it this way, she would be the last thing I would want to hug. That aside, she had been in this hospital for three months. It seems her trainer couldn't cope, so she was left to die in Route 212. We don't know anything about the trainer, but he or she really needs to know that there are better ways to release pokémon than that. Is it any wonder she's in distress? Ursula had behaved viscous ever since she was admitted. When she was put into the healing machine, nothing had happened so we had to investigate her case further. She had poor mobility and coordination: always falling out of her bed and breaking something. Simple tasks such as holding items and picking them up was grueling and would often end in violence.
I first thought her behaviour was due to ADHD and insomnia. The staff had a great debate on how to diagnose and cure Ursula. There were many disagreements with it and in the end it took us a fortnight to officially diagnose Ursula with Dyspraxia. I have dealt with patients with Dyspraxia before, but the patients I've dealt with before were usually optimistic and hopeful for a brighter future. I see none of that in Ursula. She threw tantrums like a human child.
I'm the only pokémon allowed in Ursula's room. We had moved her three times before we settled her into this room. I've seen no difference in her behaviour, but it keeps the staff safe. Six pokémon nurses had to use the healing machine because of encounters with Ursula. Plum needed to spend the rest of his shift in A&E to recover. If I was working in that other clinic, they would have used her as one of their personal fighting machines. They're weren't afraid to use a lethal injection on pokémon they considered to be useless. Bloody disgusting if you ask me.
I'm meant to have a human with me when entering her room, but they all seem to be either busy or on their lunch break. I reckon that they're scared that Ursula will bite their arm off. They can be pretty cowardly sometimes. That's perhaps why they leave us to do the dirty work, whilst their scoffing what our chefs, Swampy and Fusion have been cooking. Human behaviour is confusing, so I guess I'm going to be alone with Ursula.
Ursula was crawling about on the floor. She buried her nose into her arm and loudly sniffed. With her sharp claws she hopped over to the rail bars and clenched her teeth on the gate. I hope we're not having an inspection today, we're not allowed to cage pokémon; it's cruelty. They all thought that they had no choice. There had to be a better way to treat Ursula than to lock her up in a cage. We're a hospital not a zoo. She growled at me and yawned. She wrestled with herself on the ground it was as if she was trying to show me something.
"What's wrong?" I asked, shamelessly marching closer.
Ursula slowly lifted her head, grabbing onto my arms she roared and tried to jump on her feet. She tumbled and pulled me down with her.
"Did you want to go to bed?"
Ursula nodded, rolled over to reach her pillow and using the bars around the room, got back into bed. That wasn't so bad after all. She just wanted her pillow. I don't think the bed she's sleeping on is really appropriate for Ursula.
First of all, the bed was tattered in scratch marks and fluff. Secondly, the mattress was a joke, not only for being the state it was, but also because it's a human sized mattress; far too thin for Ursula's needs. If they started using beds that fit the patient's size, they'd probably save money from having to fix them. But some of these humans that work here, they're all paranoid about finical costs. Ursula slid off the bed again, landing head first on the floor.
In the heat of the moment I bounced over to the wall and pressed the emergency button. These falls are getting ridiculous. I'm going to get trouble for coming into Ursula's room on my own, but in all due respect, the human doctors should also get warnings for neglecting Ursula. I hope a human member of staff comes, I'm sick of them loafing about.
A tall man barged into the room in a heartbeat. I thought to myself, wow that was quick for a change. Never seen a human doctor run so fast in his life. I've seen him a couple of times in staff meetings, if I recall correctly, he was one of the digital monster doctors … I suppose it's better than waiting ages for a human doctor.
"How can I help?" the man asked. Engraved on his badge was the name, Joe Kido. Seems like everybody knows someone called Joe.
"We need to check if Ursula has any fractures or broken bones," I said. "Ursula's been frequently falling off the bed. She will need a bigger bed."
"I see what you mean," Joe responded. "Alakazam will need to teleport a mammoth size mattress for her. But first let's check Ursula."
"Be careful," I warned Joe before he dodged Ursula's sharp claws. "Ursula is a wild thing."
"It's okay," Joe responded. He smiled at me and said, "I've seen many wild things in my time."
I bet he has, being a digital monster doctor. I don't really understand digital monsters, they function very differently to pokémon, but there was a time where some people couldn't tell the difference. Digital monsters never really die according to the human experts who specialise in them. When they run out of energy they dissolve into millions of pieces and then reborn from an egg.
Even monsters not registered as pokémon are treated in this hospital. That's why they hire people like Joe for their knowledge in other creatures not registered by the Pokémon League. It's always been this way since Fantina was appointed as gym leader of the city. Gym leaders are more powerful than they think. Chances are if they were as loud as Fantina they could change the laws. There were times when the government wanted to lift the ban on Action Replay, but the gym leaders packed together against it.
I love Fantina. She's a hard-worker and a gym leader that actually does something for the community. She's good enough to be in the Elite Four, but that's her problem: she's too good. Aside from being a gym leader, she was also a contest judge and on top of that Fantina ran a dance club in Amity Square for pokémon with training difficulties and hybrids. The woman is going to tire herself out one of these days.
"Just a couple bruises," Joe confirmed. "A change of medication is required. And of course a new bed."
In that very moment, an alakazam suddenly appeared with a mattress fit for a wailord. The abra line were a fascinating species, using their psychic powers to full use. The psychic pokémon had to perfect their mind-reading skills to fulfill requests in an instant. The mattress was bigger than what I expected it to be, but it seemed to be perfect for Ursula. The height was perfect, it meant we wouldn't need railings and Ursula could easily roll herself back up if she falls off the bed, but I doubt that would happen due to the size. Alakazam dragged the new mattress to the bed with his mind. Soon the broken bed vanished and the new mattress was in place.
Alakazam vanished before we could even say thanks.
"What do you think of your new bed?" Joe asked Ursula.
Ursula crawled onto the new mattress. Her pillow was tucked under her arm. She growled, but it seemed to be more of an expression of happiness than anger. Could that even be a small giggle? She smiled as she rolled along the bed, until she slumbered into a comfortable position.
"Ursula will benefit from a walking stick," Joe told me.
"I was thinking the same thing," I admitted.
"Once Ursula has had some rest, we should try her on the healing machine again. If she still has problems, then we should refer Ursula to the physio ward."
"That sounds like a good idea. I still think she should go to physio anyway."
"We should get rid of these rail bars at some point," Joe admitted. "Ursula must find them really intimidating. She already feels isolated with her condition."
The digital monster doctor was pretty good. I didn't expect him to act the way he did. I assumed that since he was a digital monster doctor that he would panic whilst treating pokémon. I didn't know much about digital monsters, so if I see Joe again, maybe I can ask him. It seems he gets on well with the pokémon staff because of how quickly Alakazam responded to him. He seemed to be someone who tried to look at things through the patient's eyes.
Five seconds after Joe left the room, Ursula snored away to her heart's content. All the ursaring wanted was a good bed to sleep in.
Last edited by ChloboShoka; 10th August 2012 at 12:13 AM.
hmmm..........i like it!
Creator of Awsome
Credit to Fading Echoes for the userbar and Sweet May for the banner!
Hey look a new chapter of Carry On, Blissey. Let's start reading it.
Hmmm... Okay new patient... I think it's an Ursaring... Aw I feel bad for her. Ursaring is one of my faves... God what Matron Blissey is saying is so true... Hm, a new human doctor-
... WHAT. *keeps on reading* My God if it's a digidestined I am going to-he was one of the digital monster doctors
... WHICH ONE WAS JOE AGAIN?Joe Kido
*this review will now be interrupted for brief moments while GalladeofSpades researches Joe*
Oh Joe! Now I remember, he had one of my fave Digimon! ... Which wasssssss Gomamon? *checks* Yeah Gomamon. I didn't really like him though. In fact I think I liked him the least.
I honestly did not expect that you would mention Digimon in this. You did it perfectly though. I also feel bad for the Ursaring.
I also realize that you might just love Fantina. Good. She is badass.
This was probably one of the best chapters you've written so far grammatically, since I only find one mistake:
Six pokémon nurses had to use the healing machine.Six pokémon nurses had to to the healing machine.
Anyway, great chapter as always!
DIGIMON FRONTIER WAS THE BEST SEASON OF DIGIMON*Murdered*
Last edited by GalladeofSpades; 19th July 2012 at 5:16 PM. Reason: I R A DISGRACE TO DIGIFANZ. ;.;
Thanks for the reviews guys. I knew that using digimon in this chapter would be unexpected, but I had been reading a lot of digimon fics lately and got inspired. I love crossovers. XD I need to watch Digimon Frontier though, I loved the first three seasons of digimon, so I might enjoy it. It's nice to know that my grammar seems to be getting better over the chapters. It's also nice to see a new a reader.
This chapter in particular was influenced by a story named Rectified Anonymity by David Garrett. The same fan fic featured on the Topless Robot blog. I got Kutie Pie and JX Valentine to thank for mentioning it at the fan fiction club.
Poképhiles: the scum of the earth. Horndogs with nobody to be intimate with seeking thrills from pokémon. Sexual relationships with pokémon are illegal in Sinnoh and I'm quite sure they're illegal in the other pokémon regions too. Team Rocket look like saints next to them. The gardevoir was flustered, but covered in cuts and bruises. I rolled my eyes at the nickname her original trainer gave her. It was a four letter word beginning with C, and I won't be using it any time soon.
An infamous case in Kanto had caused mayhem five years ago. A trainer raped a gardevoir, then had a threesome with a Nurse Joy and her father. The trainer had a gore fetish which cost him, the Nurse Joy and her father their lives. What happened to the gardevoir remained a mystery. They had police and rangers rummaging all over Kanto to find her, but they gave up after a fortnight and assumed she was dead.
It made me wonder if this gardevoir was the same one from the infamous case. The man responsible for the case was named David. Coincidently, the gardevoir's original trainer was called David. One of the paramedics said that when they found her, she was unconscious and covered in human semen. They didn't find the poképhiles that did it to her, but I hope they get the full weight of justice land on their head.
It was one of the scariest cases I've ever heard. But what made me feel worse was that there was much more gruesome abuse that hides behind closed doors. Perhaps I should be a bit more resistant to extreme abuse cases, but it would make anyone with a heart shiver.
I overheard one of the audinos whisper that the gardevoir was beyond help. They had to put her to sleep many times to prevent the other patients from being traumatised. I'm not so sure why Nurse Joy still wanted the gardevoir to be placed in the A&E ward. She had been making strange sounds that made trainers concerned that it could possibly corrupt their pokémon. Some of the trainers won't give their pokémon sex education. Why would they? They probably haven't had sex education either.
If healthcare wasn't free, they'd be suffering like those trainers in Africa. My older sister works as a nurse there, and she's never had a day off. She was still a chansey and the last time she came over to Sinnoh, she broke down in tears because she couldn't evolve into a blissey. All that stress is stopping her from evolving.
I remember evolving from a chansey to a blissey when I finished nursing school and got accepted a place in Smogon University. I remember it as one of the most happiest days of my life. All that hard work and resisting temptation of drugs had paid off. I didn't expect my trainer and I to get separated during university. When they suspected something was up, they demanded my trainers whole team to have a health check, urine test and blood test. My trainer tried to avoid it, but I took the tests anyway. I passed them, since I didn't take any drugs, but the rest of her team failed the tests so she was expelled.
I never heard from my original trainer or any of her team since. One of the lecturers allowed me to rent his old office to sleep in. Then after I graduated, it was him who took me to the underground clinic in Kanto. I was a nurse for a couple of months and then promoted as a matron. I admit looking back my experience at Smogon was dodgy. I wouldn't have recommended that clinic to anyone, but I was able to learn things the hard way.
This patient had to learn things the hard way too: sex education in it's cruellest form. But I can't rush this yet, we haven't properly diagnosed her. It was times like this I wish my arms were longer. It was an unpleasant smell, but the sweet scents weren't doing much for it.
The gardevoir woke up as soon as I lifted her arm. She opened her eyes and yawned. "Where's my master?" She asked in a fragile and broken voice. Her eyes were filled with tears. She swung her arms and looked away from me.
"You won't be seeing your master in a while," I replied.
She twirled her head and her eyes widened. "Why?"
"Your master has done something terrible," I told her. "He's made made you do things that were wrong."
"Am I bad?"
"It's not your fault," I said, forcing myself to smile. "You were abused. That's not your fault. How are you feeling?" The gardevoir said nothing and yawned. I tightened up a bandage on her arm for her. "You should have some rest," I instructed. "We'll talk about this more once you've recovered some energy."
The gardevoir closed her eyes and slept like a log. Let's hope that if this is the same gardevoir, that she will go into a much safer environment. Them filthy poképhiles better get locked up soon, before more pokémon are forced into the illegal sex trade. Gosh if Spiritomb were here, he'd have a lot to say about them psychos.
"It's what we feared Matron," Sparkles said passing me a folder that contained results from the health checks. "She's HIV Positive and it's hacked. Check the scan of her ovaries, there's a broken bad egg in there."
I stopped to the corner and had a look at the results. People with HIV can live a normal life, but it's a deadly disease to pokémon. Pokémon who were both HIV positive and hacked had little chance of survival. The tumours will thrive and continue to grow.
"Okay Sparkles, fetch a full restore, I'll be waiting in the gardevoir's room."
I hurried back to the gardevoir's room and she was still asleep. The full restore wouldn't cure her conditions, but it will help towards killing any bad eggs. Being a psychic type, she would only need a full restore to eliminate the tumours. If it were any other type, then we would have had to removed the tumours by operation like we did with Mr. Fierce.
I believe her past sexual desires were all part of an act to please her trainers. She was clearly traumatised by the physical demands of the game. Gardevoir's have naturally low physical defence so it's no wonder why she's spent most of her time sleeping since being admitted.
Nurse Joy came into the room with the full restore.
"Where's Sparkles?" I asked.
"I've sent her to work with Monica in the baby ward," Nurse Joy responded. "I took this from her. She walked over to the gardevoir and sprayed the full restore on gardevoir's chest. She woke up from the chemicals reacting, but still managed to look peaceful. "There you are gardevoir," Nurse Joy said. "That should help make you feel better. We'll need to give you an operation at some point and after that we can talk about your future."
The gardevoir said nothing but smiled as she tried to get back to sleep.
"Maybe should should take a week off?" Nurse Joy suggested to me. "You should see Spiritomb?"
"A week off?" I was stunned. I've never been asked to have a week off, nor have I even requested a day off. I understand the other pokémon staff having days off: they've got family and trainers to go home to. I consider my hospital to be my home. The thought of having a week off from home seemed weird to me. "But what would I do with myself?"
"As I said," Nurse Joy answered. "You can see Spiritomb at respite. You two are pretty much best friends. You've known each other for a long time."
I'm not sure if best friends is the appropriative term. We do however work very well together.
"How will the hospital cope without me?" I asked. "A lot of the staff come to me for advice all the time."
"They'll be fine," Nurse Joy replied with a smile on her face. "And when you come back from your holiday, the hospital will be fine as usual."
I frowned and said, "Well if you insist, I'll consider having a week off."
"It will be a long journey from here to Lavender Town. The next train to Lavender Town will be ready in fourty-five minutes."
I quickly turned around as if I was having some sort of heart attack. "You want me to have the week off now?"
Nurse Joy nodded. "You deserve it. You've been working so hard for many years. Everybody needs to rest. I've already bought you your ticket."
Nurse Joy handed me the ticket and I hopped backwards. "This is ridiculous," I snapped.
"What do you mean?"
"My patient is dying and you're telling me to go on holiday."
"Now that's enough Matron." Nurse Joy hugged me. "Remember you can't solve all of the hospital's problems on your own."
That's true. I can't solve all the worlds problems on my own, but I can try. I sighed. "As the matron in charge I'm asking you to respect my choice."
"It will only be for a week," Nurse Joy insisted. She rubbed my back and continued with, "Believe me Matron it's for your own good. You'll be coming back feeling refreshed."
I had been defeated. I held onto the ticket and stared at Nurse Joy. "Okay, I'll go, I'm sure Spiritomb would benefit from my visit."
"That's the spirit," Nurse Joy exclaimed. "Now you better head off to the train station."
I waved to Nurse Joy and quietly made my way down to the train station. A part of me did want to see Spiritomb and check how he's doing, but I still couldn't help but think of that poor gardevoir. The patient didn't say much, but the words she said have me the goosebumps. 'Am I bad?' could be her very last words. Even though Nurse Joy meant no offence and had stated that I had done an excellent job over the years, I felt like stepping into the train was letting that gardevoir down.
Last edited by ChloboShoka; 18th July 2012 at 10:14 PM.
Yay! First review
I like your idea for the pedophile stuff, then changing it to suit pokémon.
The way of giving insight to what happened to the pokemon are great, the reader then knows why they are in that state.
I think its supposed to be "you should" but I'm not sure since you wrote it..."Maybe should should take a week off?" Nurse Joy suggested to me. "You should see Spiritomb?"
Overall, great chapter!
Sorry if this review isnt very good, I'm not the best at writing them ^_^'
I've decided to review this for the review game.
However, even before the review game, I briefly read the first few chapters of this story. I think it was the title that drew me in and I'll admit, I was expecting a light hearted comedy of sorts- boy, was I wrong! Instead, I found something much, much better. I have now read all of the chapters. Firstly, some general opinions- I love the idea, it's one of the most original and interesting concepts for a story I've seen on this site. Also, I like how realistic it is...I love the mix of the cartoon-ish & often absurd world of Pokemon and the realism of a medical drama- it's really well done and makes the chapters really interesting to read.
I love how you apply the mechanics of the Pokemon world into the medical world...Action Replay being drugs, Bad Eggs containing a cancerous disease, the idea that Pokemon that originated from other regions were classified as missingno etc. I think another example was in the last chapter, where it mentioned that Gardevoir had low natural defense so that's why it slept a lot. I like stories that build on the Pokemon world in interesting ways and this is exactly what this story does.
I enjoyed the characters as well. I loved the character of Spiritomb. I think it's because Spiritomb is usually just thought of as an evil, ghostly head- but in this, it has a job, kids and has a personality- albeit, a rude and racist one. You can say that for all the characters though- Blissey is a great character and as someone else said on the thread, Blissey is usually seen as a friendly, kind Pokemon. Yet, in this story, Blissey is quite opinionated and there is a recurring theme of her hatred for humans who mistreat their Pokemon. This makes the characters much more interesting because it reverses reader's expectations. The use of Pokemon in the hospital is also genius- for example, the Skaramory doing the operation because it's immune to poison. Very clever.
Some interesting recurring drama going on as well in the hospital...particularly enjoyed Mew's pregnancy, Ritchie's death/the effect it had on his team and the Mr Fierce plot arc. I think the story explores some really dark themes too- espicially in the last chapter with the Pokephiles- but that makes the story more realistic, because that's what hospitals most probably have to deal with in real life. So yeah, I like the dark themes in your story- even if it contrasts with the comedic title. Just like to say also how well researched this story is too, which is vital for a medical drama.
So in short, I really like this story. However, I have a few, minor negatives.
Check over spelling/grammar. Spelling mistakes are rare and mostly minor- however, stuff like this needs to be changed:
Should be explosion. Also, some of the Pokemon's names don't begin with a capital letter. Again, a minor flaw but could still be edited if you have the time. Another criticism would be the chapters are often quite small- they could be longer and the increased length could be used to build on the characters and world even more. However, this is still a minor criticism and doesn't detract from the fact that this story is brilliant.Mew gave out a massive roar so loud it would make an exploud sound like a feather
So yeah, put me on the PM list please and keep up the good work!
It's been a few chapters since I remembered to stop through here, but I saw it in the Review Game and figured I'd come catch up on the last three chapters I'd missed out on.
The idea of pokemon "families" getting broken up because of trainers is such an original and heartbreaking idea. Excellent work thinking of that and bringing it up.The same could go for the domestic class. Pokémon get captured, released, traded away, sent to day care and get to travel. There were a lot of pokémon social classes acknowledged, but the class terms are only used in education institutions nowadays.
Another brilliant insight into the history of pokemon. You really have a knack for seeing into the depths of the pokemon universe.At this current moment in time, there were 649 species registered as pokémon in the national pokédex. Back when I was a chansey, they didn't have national dexes. Pokédexes were pretty poor because they only did regional dexes, pokémon that originated from other regions where classified as missingno. The healing machine wrongly diagnosed them with the Hacked Syndrome and they didn't enforce the Drug Protection For Pokémon Act properly until I worked here.
The bit I highlighted should be "pokemon than the league does, but they're". No commas; "then" should be "than", and "do" should be "does" since "the league" is singular. Aside from that...making Smogon and Bulbapedia actual in-univese schools? More brilliance!Criminal gangs know more about pokémon, then the league do, but they're slowly catching up with the help of Bulba University, Smogon University and the University Of Orre.
I wonder what Spiritomb seems to care less for Minerva. That's pretty sad. Is he just losing his touch with reality (as the story has been hinted), or is there a story there? Curious!“I've booked the two weeks off,” Spiritomb told us. “I'll be spending a lot more time with my little gem.”
“What about me?” Minerva asked.
“And you too Matilda,” Spiritomb asked.
“...It's Minerva. Matilda's been traded away,” Minerva moaned. There was a tint of sadness in the tone of her voice. Little-Wit was too young to notice it, but I could. “Maybe you should go to the respite in Celadon for a while.”
That last part is not a whole sentence. It should maybe be "Her enthusiasm seemed to grow at the sight of her father's deteriorating". Something like that.“Oh I still do,” Minerva responded. Her enthusiasm of seeing her father deteriorating.
I'm confused here, but it might be just a misunderstanding: does Phantom have actual anorexia, or is Phantom just confused by its trainers diet? I'm assuming anorexia is a conscious disease where it would be trying to starve itself thin, and not just a case of it being confused or mislead.Phantom's ribs above his stomach and spikes on the tail horrified me. This Cubone had anorexia nervosa. Luckily we managed talk to his trainer about introducing regular meals and a healthy and balanced diet. Phantom's trainer had been going through diet fazes which Phantom had tried to picked up on, but confused him along the way.
-I like the advancing of the plot here. We get more insight on Sparky's trauma and Blissey's apprehension over being without the services of Spiritomb (even if he has been falling off in service of late). Also, we see Mr. Fierce is still around and now there is Bishop and Phantom, too. I was hoping we'd get more direct plot on Spiritomb, but it seems like he is written out for at least the near future. I'm sure we'll get back to that storyline, though.
-Once again, your ability to take real-life pokemon items and features and adding them to the story in a meaningful, realistic fashion is quite refreshing to read. I feel like some of your medical knowledge could still be fine-tuned (like the earlier X-Ray matter for pregnancies and the anorexia part here). Just brush up on that, and the story is going swell.
A couple things there: WHAT couldn't the trainer cope with? I want that thought finished, because it reads as incomplete. "Vicious" doesn't have an S in it. There shouldn't be a commas after "healing machine", but there should be one after "nothing had happened".The trainer couldn't cope, so she was left to die in Route 212. Is it any wonder she's in distress? Ursula had behaved viscous ever since she was admitted. When she was put into the healing machine, nothing had happened so we had to investigate her case further.
Another sentence that reads as a fragment or incomplete. It should maybe end with "because of encounters with Ursula".Six pokémon nurses had to use the healing machine.
-I've read a few paragraphs, and I still don't know what kind of pokemon Ursula is. If it was revealed earlier, I must have forgotten. If it wasn't, I just haven't seen answer to that question yet.
-OH! Never mind, I read a bit more and saw that she is...a Digimon? Well that's interesting. I certainly don't have any knowledge of those, but it's creative that you decided they co-exist in the same universe.
-But then later on, it says she is an Ursaring? So I'm officially confused; which is it? That part really baffled me a great deal.
-That chapter was just a nice little self-contained story, I guess. I kind of missed seeing what has been going on with the rest of the hospital and the established storylines. I wonder if there is an eventual over-arching plot that all these patients' stories are heading towards.
"“Oh I still do,” Minerva responded. Her enthusiasm of seeing her father deteriorating."- as in, her enthusiasm of seeing her father was disappearing, rather than it was the actual father who was deteriorating. It's a slightly confusing sentence, so I would suggest changing it.
Last edited by Miror B...; 4th August 2012 at 10:41 PM.
I'll make some edits and changes soon. Thanks for the reviews. I was thinking at the start of some chapters to introduce a little scenario of some of the patients before Matron Blissey tries to treat them, (scenes like Ritchie's crash). Ursula's an ursaring, I kinda hoped her description and her name would give it away like how Spiritomb's daughter, Little-Wit was a Litwick. With Phantom it's a mixture of both, but more leaning towards Anorexia. He'll be coming back so he'll have a lot more of a backstory to it.
Just read the first chapter. I like you, Chloe, but I want to punch you in the goddamn teeth for that ending. It's that kind of blatant misrepresentation of Asperger's that makes me ashamed to have that disability. If you feed an animal alcohol, that's not Asperger's, that's just mental retardation, and they are NOT one and the same, despite everything the media wants you to believe about it.
Please stop complaining about Pikachu losing to "weak" Pokemon at the start of each new region. Its power is drained at the start of each new region, and anyway, it's equally bad storytelling for Pikachu to plow through all of its opponents.
Last edited by ChloboShoka; 10th August 2012 at 12:23 AM.
I don't remember having a day off work in my life. A week off was an alarming shock for me. I could see Nurse Joy's point, but I wish she had suggested it at a better time. Not when I was in the middle of dealing a patient. Goodness knows how that gardevoir is coping. Death rates has soared since the 1990's, of course care had increased. The healing machine was used worldwide in 1995 whilst the purification chamber was released in 2005.
The journey to Lavender Town was a rather quiet one. I expected that there would be a couple of battles on the train, but I didn't hear any trainers cry for a battle at all. I seemed to have been surrounded by the business class with all these men and women in smart suits. I think of a lot of them were going to stop off at Saffron City.
Luckily for me, the nursing home was only around the corner from the train station. My thoughts were with that gardevoir. I still couldn't bring myself to call her by her original trainer's nickname, but I really hope she survives. I don't think I could dare look at Nurse Joy again if she dies.
"Hello Minerva." I saw her waiting outside the doors. Nurse Joy must have told her about my visit. Minerva's shoulders shivered. She had been waiting for me for a while.
"Oh good afternoon Matron," Minerva said with a smile on her face. "Did you come to see my dad?"
"Yes, Nurse Joy sent me over to check how he was doing."
"He's been feeling a lot better now," Minerva told me. "He's been diagnosed with delirium. It's not so severe though, he's been recovering quickly. The symptoms can get mixed up with dementia, so that's why it seemed as if he was losing touch with reality. I think he was just missing his family. So how long are you in Kanto for?"
"I'm here for the week." I didn't like the tone of Minerva's voice when she told me Spiritomb's diagnosis. Maybe she was trying to put on a brave face, but I found it more concerning that she was smiling. Something was iffy and I don't like how dementia is being ruled out. It's hard for most healthcare professionals to detect the difference between dementia and delirium, so I think he should have more tests. Delirium and dementia are both horrible and the sad thing is... a lot of trainers assume that only humans can get it.
"That's good." Minerva began to grin. "Before you see him, I have to give you a vaccine." Minerva slid the doors open and lead me into one of the nursing offices.
"Right, what sort of injection is it?"
"I have to inject you so you can't catch pokérus."
"Really?" I asked. "But pokérus is completely harmless."
"Not if it's from a pokémon that's hacked," Minerva explained. "The hacked syndrome makes the pokémon that catch it more liable to other diseases. I'm sure you know all this, but it's procedure I have to take."
"If you insist..." I think I remember Spiritomb mentioning something like that before. Minerva's been doing her homework.
"First I want you to hop onto the bed and lay down." Just as requested, I hopped on the bed. It felt really strange being on the patient's side. We didn't say anything to each other until after the injection. I would have preferred the injection to be somewhere over above my torso, but if it's a policy, there'd be no point fighting it. But it's comforting to know that they've done something about treating people with the Hacked Syndrome.
After the vaccine (which gave me an incredible feeling of weirdness racing down my back), Minerva led me to Spiritomb's bedroom. Tucked into bed with a smile on his face. Everybody running around for him, instead of the other way around.
"He's just finished his afternoon kip," Minerva told me. She turned over to her father, who had been losing touch with reality. If it continues to worsen, he may be told to retire. I'm sure it's going to break his heart. He loves his job. I've known him for a long time and I just know he'd struggle to occupy himself. He was fine at the home because he was with his family and it was only temporary.
I could imagine if that was me who was forced to retire, I couldn't live with myself. Ever since I was a happiny, I knew I wanted to get into nursing. I was good in battles, but I never really had a real passion for it. But I would always get kicks when I had to heal my trainer's team.
Those were the days I would rather forget. I couldn't bring myself to say my trainer's name sometimes. I spent the first ten years of my life with Justine. We didn't really get on as well as she did with the rest of her team. We hardly spoke to each other when we were at university because of her drug addiction. She only had herself to blame for being expelled.
Justine was out of my life now. I bet she's somewhere around Kanto where her drug addiction was embraced.
No, now is not the time for a flashback.
Spiritomb asked how everybody was getting on at the hospital. I told him that things were pretty much the same and that things were fine. He glared at me, as if he could see right through me. I guess being a blissey makes me easy to read. We're described as being happy all the time. So if one's got a miserable face, something has to be wrong, right?
"The prostitute..." I groaned. "She's positive for the Hacked Syndrome and HIV. The full restore won't be enough. If Nurse Joy hasn't had told me to go on holiday, she might have felt better."
"Don't beat yourself up about it," Spritomb said. "She would has a small chance of survival. If you ask me I think she'd be better off dead."
He seemed to be back to his normal old self again. As harsh as it was, it's something he would normally say. I didn't want to hear it, but I knew it was coming.
"HIV and the Hacked Syndrome are a deadly combo," Spiritomb explained. "It leaves the immune system helpless. Anyway, did you hear the news about that tyranitar who tried to commit suicide?"
"Well it's the same one who lost that trainer in that car crash. Pretty sad really. I can't remember what I said to him, but it must have hurt him pretty bad." At that point, Spiritomb's gaze returned. "You know my parents had were hacked, well I've inherited some of their corrupt genes which means that my memory can become impaired."
"You were pretty racist," I said. "I know you're not fond of rock types for whatever reason, but you accused him of killing his trainer."
"I remember now," Spiritomb claimed. "He sneezed and let out a sandstorm in his trainer's car. The trainer collided into a sudowoodo. Everybody survived apart from the trainer and sudowoodo. If I recall correctly, he was a support worker. The trainer had a pikachu called Sparky."
How on earth did I miss Cruise's attempted suicide? Did all of this happen as soon as I left the hospital. I knew that they would have a tough time without me. That Nurse Joy is mad.
"One thing that I'm worried about," Spiritomb pondered. "It's my daughter Minerva... I think she's trying to kill me off."
"What?" I gasped. I thought this was going to be something about the hospital. I didn't expect it had anything to do with his family. Maybe that's why he favours Little-Wit so much more. Spiritomb pulled me closer and quenched his eyes shut. "So whatever happens to me I just want you to know that... I love you and whatever you do, don't let Minerva give you any medication."
I had to blink and shake my head. My ears must have been deceiving me. Did he just say that he loved me? I'm sure he means it in a professional way. As in... he admires all the hard work I've done over the years and that's it's inspired him to become a better nurse.
I could imagine little stars floating around my head.
"It's too late," I whispered. "She gave me an injection."
"But why would you think something like that?" I asked curiously. "Minerva seems to do her job well."
"What you've got to understand about Minerva is that she's very selfish, but what sort of injection was it?"
"She told me it was a vaccine to protect me from viruses. She put the needle in a funny place though."
"Where may I ask?"
"I'd rather not say."
"You've been tricked."
"What makes you say that?"
"Minerva's got some loose screws," Spiritomb informed me. "Sometimes I wonder if she really is my child. I'm sure Agatha was mistaken when she said that I'm her father."
"But you were left in a day care centre with Matilda?" I asked.
"That doesn't mean it's my child," Spiritomb retorted. "We did make love, I wasn't the only pokémon she slept with at the day care centre. It could have been anyone's child."
"Is that why you favour Little-Wit more?"
"I wouldn't exactly call it favouring," Spiritomb admitted. "I know she's my child. She's got my eyes and her mother was quite reserved. Little-Wit's mother really loved me..."
"But Agatha traded-"
Before I could finish my sentence, an ache from my backside tumbled me over to the floor. Spiritomb was laughing whilst his eyes were fixed on me. He cackled. "I think you might be laying an egg,"
"Am I really laying an egg?" I gasped, rolling over the floor. "Do you mean that Minerva's artificially inseminated me?"
"Yep, and she's probably mixed instant egg drops in there too."
"INSTANT EGG DROPS?"
Instant egg drops had proven to show no significant damage, but we still wouldn't recommend them. The mother needs time to lay the egg and the foetus needs time to develop in the womb so the egg can absorb calcium. These drops can make pokémon be born at an alarming rate, the egg shell that protects the foetus can be very soft and can hatch prematurely.
I'm certain they have a connection to the Hacked Syndrome, but I've never got round to actually proving it. The egg that I expelled from my body was small. It was pink with white stripes on it. The average pokémon eggs are usually quite large can be roughly be twice the size of a human baby's head. Depending on what form they're in, the egg sizes can vary.
It was not as painful as expected from a birth, but that's because the egg was so small and came out very quickly. My species are expected to carry the egg for as long as two months and it will hatch within a fortnight. Heat, movement and off course those drops can make the process of birth much quicker.
The chansey line are always female, so I was certain that it was going to be female. Sperm with the y chromosome were often rejected. Although I have heard of one case where a chansey had a son, but he was a still-born hybrid.
My child was going to come out of the shell soon. The metallic shine on the egg was a sign that it was an artificial egg. Naturally made eggs would have a rough complexion. I wouldn't dare touch it, I'll let the child come out on it's own.
"I know the man who invented the drug," Spiritomb told me with his eyes on the egg. I liked how he was tucking on berries as if he was eating popcorn in a cinema. "His name was Rocker. He was some trainer. His team were addicted to drugs. A blissey knocked out his entire team and he said he was clean ever since."
"This Rocker chap... did he have a dragonite on his team?" The name was strangely familiar.
"Oh yes," he replied. "That dragonite is his baby."
"Then I'm that blissey," I said. I don't think he remembers me, but I can't forget his face. "By the way, he's still using drugs. He came into the centre with a team of sableyes with wonder gaurd."
"My original trainer battled him while we were at Smogon. I pretty much beat all of his team because my trainer kept on telling me to use ice beam, toxic and softboiled."
"It's small world after all."
"I even beat his sap sipper swampert," I told him. "They didn't expect ice beam to do much damage, but he passed out from the toxic."
"Well that one is certainly on drugs," Spiritomb said. "Ten years time that Swampert is going to be in a wheelchair."
"It looks like we'll be having a lot of stuff to do when we get back," I announced.
A happiny hatched from the egg, so luck incense was obviously mixed. She looked down on her pouch and cried. She crawled over to me and stared at the egg in my pouch. I took the egg out of my pouch and plopped the child in it's place. She was so tiny, but it was understandable since she hatched prematurely. There seemed to be no obvious defects so far, but I still had to be careful.
"I think I should ring the bell to get you both cleaned up," Spiritomb suggested.
"I think I'll be fine."
"You've just had a baby," he reminded me. "You need time to collect your thoughts." He pushed the button near his bed and a pair of chanseys came running through the door. "Now my friend's just had a baby, and I was wondering if you two could be so kind to take her to give her a spare room?"
The chansey's nodded. One of them pointed her arm and said, "I'll go and get a wheelchair."
"I won't need a wheelchair," I said. "I'm perfectly mobile."
Spiritomb's eyes pierced at me. "Listen to them, Matron." I rolled my eyes and as soon as the wheelchair was ready, I sat down and played with my daughter's hair.
They took me downstairs to a room with a view of the river. They tucked me into bed and set out a little cot for my child to sleep on when I was ready to place her to bed. My egg was placed inside the cot. They left saying that if I needed anything, I would just need to ring the bell. I knew that I would be okay. All this fuss over me felt weird. I think if it was any other pokémon I knew from work, they'd be embracing this.
I saw Minerva outside by herself. I wanted to have a few words with her... Whether her mother was promiscuous, it didn't excuse her behaviour. She would have been in big trouble if she was a human. I hopped outside to see her. I was quite surprised they didn't lock the this place up. Anybody could go wondering about. Minerva waved as she dropped to the floor.
"How are things Matron?" Minerva asked.
"Fine," I lied. "It seems your vaccine has given me baby."
Minerva looked down and saw the happiny sleeping in my pouch. She gasped. "Oh my goodness I'm so sorry!" There was something superficial about the sweet tone of her voice. "I must have giving you the wrong injection. I'm sorry Matron, but... aww you have such a beautiful daughter. What are you naming her?"
I haven't even thought of having a child. Let alone name one. But there was something not right with Minerva. She was hiding something from me. She looked as if she was about to drop it into the river. A small flame peeped out of the bag. As soon as I saw it flickering around in the bad, I knew it was Little-Wit.
"Minerva … what are you doing to Little-Wit?"
Her sweetness melted away to reveal a spiteful ghost. "I'm sick of Little-Wit getting all of my father's attention. He's never noticed me..."
"And do you think drowning Little-Wit is going to make him respect you?"
"If it makes him notice me, then so be it."
"So tell me, why did you spike my vaccine?"
"If I killed my sister and created a new one, we could start all over again. We could be a real family."
"That was Spiritomb's sperm?"
My stomach churned. I think I could have easily died right there. Come on Matron, I said to myself. Pull yourself together. I've got to safe Little-Wit before another disaster happens. "Bring me Little-Wit," I requested in my most sincere voice.
Minerva dragged the bag containing Little-Wit over to my feet. "I think you should also talk to your father. He'll need you right now."
Minerva cradled Little-Wit in her arms and released tears of guilt. There was so much the two needed to say to each other, but it was not my place to tell her for him. It needed to come from himself.
Last edited by ChloboShoka; 2nd October 2012 at 10:48 AM.
i like it!
Creator of Awsome
Credit to Fading Echoes for the userbar and Sweet May for the banner!
Shouldn't it be 'how long are you in'?"He's been feeling a lot better now," Minerva told me. "He's been diagnosed with delirium. It's not so severe though, he's been recovering quickly. The symptoms can get mixed up with dementia, so that's why it seemed as if he was losing touch with reality. I think he was just missing his family. So how long are in Kanto for?"
A vaccine, not an vaccine."That's good." Minerva began to grin. "Before you see him, I have to give you an vaccine." Minerva slid the doors open and lead me into one of the nursing offices.
It might be 'put' her to bed.They tucked me into bed and set out a little cot for my child to sleep on when I was ready to place her to bed.
Wow, I liked that you added some unexpected elements to your story-Matron having a baby was truly unexpected! I hope your next chapter is as interesting as the last.