Hello, everyone! This is my contribution to the Quarterly Challenge: Write A Crossfic! I hope you all like '00 cartoons, because you're about to get a ~10 minute episode's worth of it! I won't directly spoil what series it is here, but you should be able to guess with alarming accuracy. Only one word of warning: I did my best with typing out thick accents, but I know it could be better, so go easy on me in that regard. It should all still make sense. So without further ado, enjoy!
Courage's Double Trouble
In the middle of Nowhere, Kansas, there is an old farmhouse. There is a chicken coop. There is a tall, squeaky windmill, barely moving from a weak breeze. There is an old pickup truck parked outside the house. Despite it being a farmhouse, there are no crops to be found. In fact, the whole land was a desert. There were no other signs of life anywhere to be found.
Inside the house, a sweet, old lady, Muriel, is rocking in her rocking chair, knitting something expertly. It is too soon into the project to tell what it will be. Sitting on a couch is a crotchety old man, Eustace, who is watching the telly. An overly cautious, purple dog, Courage, is laying on the floor, fast asleep. He dreams of being a NASCAR championship racer, racing right over a man on stilts (who barely manages a squeak before Courage blasts through), under an old lady's skirt, and through a herd of sheep, in quick succession. He crosses the finish line and there is suddenly confetti, along with the sounds of a large audience cheering. He is given an enormous trophy with the words "#1" crudely drawn on the side.
"...and that's the story of how the major general got away with all those balloons," says the TV announcer, on the telly. "Coming up next, tonight's winning lottery numbers!"
Eustace has a fistful of lottery tickets in his hands. He grins like a man who knows he's already won.
"Hehehe, that's gonna be me!" he says.
Suddenly, there is a big, noisy kaboom outside. The whole house shakes.
"Oh!" exclaims Muriel.
Courage manages to continue sleeping through the minor earthquake. However, his dream is shattered by a knock on the door.
"I wonder who that could be," Muriel says, getting off of her chair and setting down her knitting.
Courage walks with her up to the door, and she opens it.
Two beautiful girls are standing at the door. One of them has long, red hair that curls up at the tip and juts more outward than downward. She is wearing a rather revealing schoolgirl dress, has a very noticeable tan, a bunch of decorations in her hair, and orange lipstick on. You can tell by the glint in her eyes and aura that she is not a nice person. Next to her is a smaller girl, with short blue hair. Her skin is very pale and she wears a bright pink lipstick. She is wearing an even more outrageous, midriff-revealing tank top and short shorts. She, too, has a malicious demeanor about her. The two of them are smiling regardless. Accompanying them is a two foot tall thing that was most definitely not human. It clearly had a tail, full body fur, narrow slit irises, cat ears, fangs, paws, claws, and whiskers. It was wearing a mechanic outfit, with a trucker's cap on its head.
"Oooooooooh!" says the smaller girl, in a surprisingly low, almost masculine voice. "Like, totally thanks for your service, and stuff!"
"Tanks for our service?" asks Muriel. "But we didn't order anything."
"We're high school students who are also part-time safety inspectors," explains the taller girl in a thick Valley Girl accent, making exaggerated expressions with her hands as she is talking. "We're here to inspect your safe."
"We're sooooooooo handy!" interjects the smaller girl, never not smiling.
"Since there was just an earthquake outside, we should totally make sure your safe is safe," continues the taller girl.
"Inspect our safe?" says Muriel. "But cha don't look like safety inspectors."
The two girls stand there in silence for a moment.
"We're from...Vancouver! This is how they dress up there, eh?" explains the taller girl.
"Goooooooooo Moosetracks!" cheers the smaller girl.
"Also, we have our mechanic here, who is also an expert safe cracker!" says the taller girl, gesturing towards the creature.
"Da ting is, da safe is 'n maultawl dangahr. Da safe is on its' last hinges, on a wing 'n a prayah, abous to tak'n a nice doirt nap," explains the creature in the thickest Boston accent Courage has ever heard.
"That's all the same thing!" yells Eustace, coming up to the door.
"But Eustace, he's an expert," counters Muriel.
"Exactly!" says the taller girl.
"Sooooooo good with his hands!" chimes in the smaller girl.
"So we needs ta sees ya safe, gets it in tiptop shape, and make it snappy, if you'd kindly," says the creature.
Courage is not buying this for a second. The strange creature with the Boston accent could be tipping him off.
"Oh of course ya can look at our prized family safe, filled to the brim with priceless family heirlooms, any ONE of which, were it ta go missing, would shatter my emotional state entirely, for the rest of eternity," says Muriel.
"Noooooooo!" Courage whines, hopping up and down on one foot.
"Ubbabababa babbaba!" he says, pointing to the intruders.
He then shape-shifts into a hideous rat, then into a Courage in drag in a bathing suit, then into a 3-headed bandit, then back into himself. The trio look surprised at him.
"No solicitors!" shouts Eustace, and slams the door on the trio's faces.
"Eustace! That wasn't very neighborly of ya," admonishes Muriel, as Eustace walks away.
"They're not our neighbors! We don't have any!" he yells.
Courage looks at the door again before walking away.
Meanwhile, just outside the door...
"James, did you just see that?" asks the taller girl.
"I sure did, Jessie," replies the smaller girl, now using his real voice.
"What a miraculous find!" says the creature.
"I know, Meowth!" says James. "A vintage Dilworth painting hanging right on the wall!"
Jessie smacks him.
"Not that, Picasso! The shape-shifting Pokémon!"
"Oh right, that."
"Think of how rare and valuable a shape-shifting Pokémon would be!" says Meowth.
"Especially one no one's ever seen before!" says Jessie.
The trio giggle to themselves mischievously as they collectively imagine giving Courage to Da Boss, Giovanni. Giovanni has Courage transform into a vacuum cleaner in order to sweep his office carpet. Giovanni has Courage transform into a set of dumbbells in order to do reps every day. Giovanni has Courage transform into a portable fan to cool himself off with on those hot, summer days.
"We'll get that Pokémon if it's the last thing we do!" says Jessie.
Later on that evening...
Muriel is cooking up a firestorm in the kitchen, using up several pots and pans. There's no way two people and a dog could eat all this. Eustace is still in his chair, newspaper in hand, grumbling about nothing in particular, but somehow relating it all to his general misfortune. Courage is busy chewing and gnawing on a football goal post, with college football sound effects playing in the background, which nobody seems to acknowledge.
Suddenly, the door is kicked open, revealing...an ancient Victorian quilter woman, a man in a green suit and wielding an electric razor, and a red cat with a purple nose. It is very obviously Jessie, James, and Meowth, using whatever costumes they had on them at the time, throwing a coherent "theme" out the window.
"Get da pink ding!" Meowth yells.
Courage's eyes grow large before he lets out a mighty scream, each of his eyes turning into four telly screens, each blinking red, blue, green, and yellow, his tongue jutting out at incredible length. His tongue's tongue then stuck out as well, giving off an even higher pitched scream. Then his tongue's tongue's tongue stuck out with a Brunhild costume on and started belting out an opera note in a low, alto voice.
Courage runs into the kitchen with the trio chasing shortly thereafter. Courage bursts into the kitchen screaming, running around the kitchen table, with the trio chasing after him in a single file line, each of them unable to keep up with Courage.
"Get back here you!" says Jessie.
"Stop running!" says James.
"Dinner will be ready in a minute, Courage. Could ya please set the table?" asks Muriel.
Courage runs over to the kitchen cabinet and grabs plates, silverware, glasses, and napkins, balancing the glasses on his tongue, and runs back over to the table, with the trio still unable to catch him. He circles around the table some more, expertly setting down the plates, silverware, glasses, and napkins. He then reaches behind him and pulls out a candelabra, already lit, and places it at the center of the table.
"Such a good dog," says Muriel, still not taking her eyes off of the pots and pans.
Courage then runs back into the living room and up the stairs, with Eustace ignoring the trio following him. Courage runs into the bedroom and slams the door shut. The trio open it and follow him in. Courage exits from a different door and runs into a third door. The trio follow suit. The four then proceed to do the classic Scooby Doo gag of entering and exiting different doors for awhile. At one point, the trio swapped costumes. At another, Courage is rendered in 3D. In another, Courage is chasing them. At another, Courage is riding a tricycle while Jessie and Meowth are using pogo sticks and James is operating a unicycle and juggling balls.
Courage goes into the computer room, followed by the trio.
"There you are, you little moneymaker you!" says Jessie.
They creep towards Courage menacingly when they each step on a rake that was left lying on the floor, the stick rising up and hitting them hard in the face. They slink to the ground.
"Yay!" Courage yelps, before scurrying out the window.
He climbs up to the roof and catches his breath, thinking he was safe now. Suddenly, from out of the previously foggy sky, the Meowth Balloon appears, with the trio inside the basket, now back into their Team Rocket uniforms. James is eating from a bag of pretzels. Their theme music plays.
"Prepare for a crossover!"
"Hey these aren't Hanover!"
"To protect the writer from all this stress!"
"To write himself out of this giant mess!"
"To denounce the evils of slashfic pairing!"
"This motto has nothing to do with sharing!"
"Team Rocket, breaking the 4th wall at the speed of light!"
"You stupid dog! Prepare to fight!"
"Meowth, what a sight."
"Huh?" says Courage, bewildered by what just happened.
"We're coming for you slowly, little moneymaker," says Jessie. "Just wait right there while this balloon slowly descends."
The trio laugh madly as they creep along downwards. Courage frantically starts searching his pockets (that dogs naturally have) for something to use against the trio. He pulls out an ancient book of dark magic, which crumbles to dust immediately, a whole scuba diving suit, which floats aimlessly up into the sky, and a pair of lacey lingerie, which he immediately puts back into his pocket, blushing profusely laughing awkwardly to the audience. The trio are still laughing madly as they slowly descend closer to Courage. Courage continues rummaging through his pockets when he finally whips out a peashooter. It is just a flimsy slingshot loaded with a single mushy pea.
"Yes!" he says.
Courage takes aim. The trio continue laughing. Courage releases the string, causing the pea to launch in the air at high speeds, and then pathetically bounce off the balloon. A second later, a massive hole appears on the balloon, spewing out air at an incredible length. The balloon starts shimmying wildly in the air, while the trio are thrown about in the basket.
"Noooooo!" yells Jessie.
"Ahhhh!" yells Meowth.
"Make it stop!" yells James.
The balloon then suddenly stops midair, no longer leaking air.
"Huh?" the trio collectively say.
Then the balloon explodes. The three are launched into the air and over the horizon.
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" they say.
Courage looks at the horizon and turns back to the audience, looking confused.
"Huh?" he says.
Even later that evening...
Muriel is rocking on the rocking chair whilst Courage is dreamily content laying on her lap.
"Isn't it wonderful that Eustace won the lottery, Courage? Too bad they mixed up the prizes and sent him on a dream vacation instead."
Meanwhile, in Kanto...
Eustace is reduced to ashes by a Charmander, only his glasses and hat remaining.
Meanwhile, back in the middle of Nowhere, Kansas...
There is a knock on the door.
"I wonder who that could be?" asks Muriel, as she gets up and opens the door. "Who are you?"
"Don't mind me," says Deadpool. "I'm just here so that The Teller gets the extra credit without putting any actual effort into it."
The screen irises out on his face.
"You owe me now."