I had mentioned in passing in Chapter 1 that Sam was struck by the similarities between Goldenrod and Jubilife, but yeah...beyond describing Jubilife, I haven't touched on Goldenrod much. Good call. I feel like I've mentioned Goldenrod several times throughout the story, though (it was the city university where the brothers' dad worked; it was Sam and Tommy's high school), but if I haven't made those comments memorable enough, that's bad on me.To be honest, I had forgotten they were in Goldenrod until you mentioned that Tommy had been promoted at the department store. As you described the interviews, WPL, CareerLink, I found myself wanting to know more about Goldenrod. What do the buildings look like, is it crowded, what's the weather like? I know that Goldenrod is just a byproduct of the story, but for me it would help to get a little bit of a clearer picture of what's happening if I could picture the setting better. I know at this point in the story you're just telling what happens to Tommy and there's not really alot of room for description, but that's just one thing that stuck out for me.
I was one of those odd people that LOVED Gen4, but I know what you mean. I have a whole browser window open at home with tabs dedicated to Rowan, Uxie, Azelf, Mesprit, Sinnoh, and some other things. And I'm glad you liked my Rowan.Nicely done on the ending, I knew there was a reason I liked Rowan, lol. Plot is starting to shape up, and I can say I'm eager to see where you take it. I was never a big fan of Sinnoh, but after reading this chapter I went to Bulbapedia and read up on those three legendaries to refresh my knowledge on them. I think you did a good job fitting them into the story with regards to Sam's approach to think of a way to help his brother
I'm worried about striking a balance between this story not having enough pokemon or pokemon battles and not feeling like I'm shoe-horning that stuff in. I don't want to do anything the story doesn't call for, but I also realize I just went two chapters where no pokemon was ever actually involved. And, to be honest, I have absolutely adored writing Vlam and Bree so far, so I do look forward to doing more of that. But having never written a pokefiction story before, my natural inclination is for it to be based around the humans. So I'm going to keep trying to walk that line between underusing them and forcing them in where they aren't needed.I see what you're saying here, but I don't think that you should feel that way completely. Obviously, Pokemon are an integral part of Pokemon Fanfiction, but going for stretches where they are only mentioned is not a bad thing. Pokefiction usually involves humans as well as Pokemon, and taking stretches where they dont play such an important role is never really a bad thing. Obviously you know the direction your story is going, and I DO look forward to seeing more Pokemon, but having the focus on humans and their struggles, etc, is really helpful as well. I'm sure you know that, but I felt like mentioning it.
Thanks for the thoughts!