I was struck by this line, and I felt compelled to ask what you thought had changed. Not saying I disagree, but I wasn't consciously aware of having changed anything, so I was curious as to what you noticed different so I could keep doing it since you liked it.
I really felt like you did a complete turnaround from your earlier chapters, and it really shows.
I also especially appreciate your comment about my being in touch with a teenager's life, because one of my two primary stories is a story about kids in high school, and I CONSTANTLY feel like, as an elderly 31 year old man, I'm insanely out-of-touch with actual high school kids. So I certainly like anyone telling me that I'm not. Makes me feel good.
Wether it be electronics taken away, or people being bullied because of their choices, etc. You have a really good handle on the things that would actually go on in a school setting. I like it
I actually completely agree with everything you said there. I've thought about having the linking moment/item between the current flashback and the current present moment, but it just hasn't panned out as well as I want. The Prologue had Caterpie and Vulpix, then chapter 1 showed that Sam now had both. But aside from that, I've not been linking nearly as well as I want. And I think the flashbacks MAY get spaced out a bit more from here out; I just wanted to get those three flashbacks in particular done since they were all so vivid to me. But I will endeavor to do better with them from here-out.
The flashbacks are a nice touch too, although they seem somewhat intentional (which obviously they are since you're writing them), however, spacing them out a bit more might make them feel a little more fluid. One thing that may help as you're writing these flashbacks, is have a certain memory, or item, or action throw Sammy into it, which may make it feel more natural and not so bouncy.
Also, I don't want to leave you feeling out-to-dry. I totally intend to get into Requiem as soon as I can. I am just also trying to catch up to diamondpearl876's story which was several chapters in when I started, too. If I get a lunchbreak today, hopefully I'll be able to read the most recent two chapters of his story, and that puts yours next in queue.
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