Right before I read that bit I found myself asking the same question. Especially for same as a person, they can't really threaten him. With the amount of Pokemon on his side, plus the value he showed Phoenix Corp he has when the guardians took special interest in him previously, he has shown himself to be pretty valuable. No doubt someone will try and test the rule, but for the moment I judge for him to be at least relatively safe.Really, what were they going to do to him, he wondered; stop the ferry and insist he get off in the middle of the strait?
I love the little dashes of sarcasm you throw in from Sam every once in awhileBefore Sam had ventured to the more scenic area of the ferry, he noticed that Carlos and his workers managed to look like a fine gang and not at all suspicious by surrounding their equipment and standing in front of it with their arms crossed.
I liked the quoted portion quite a bit. You did a good job introducing their little traits without shoving it down my throat. Especially the portion with Chispa and Vlam. I could picture the scene with the two of them quite easily and vividly. Nicely doneBree seemed to be more resentful of Monferno’s keeping her from resting on her trainer than anything. She tried to buzz close to whichever side of Sam Monferno was not hogging, but as soon as Barry’s pokemon swung over to that side, she let out a sharp hum and fluttered away. Chispa had discovered rapture in watching the swaying of Vlam’s tails, and the eldest friend of the group seemed quietly content to amuse the cub with them. Sam breathed deep to help steady himself as he watched Chispa raise a jittery paw, unsure whether or not to swat at Vlam’s tail. A clubbing sensation to the back of the head knocked Sam forward and almost off of his bench; he turned to see Monferno waving an angry fist at his Butterfree.
Lol, the sisters portion was a nice touch as well. You have a neat talent at subtle relationship building in the way that I can only appreciate a scene after I read it, then want to reread it immedeately afterwardBree let out high-pitched hum and zipped over to her sisters.
Should that be Ninetales's?Ninetales’ back before getting airborne.
That one as wellHe nodded in affirmation to Carlos’
Hmm, interesting. The only thing I can think of behind the door is Barry, but that can't possibly be it, and besides (input room full of bannana's joke here, I can figure out why he'd be doing that, at all. After I read that sentence I stopped for several minutes to try and think of what it could be, but I got nothing. I'll be watching thisMonferno ignored Sam and continued scratching at the door. In his insistence to get in, he was leaving scrapes in the paint.
Hah, niceBree, conversely, probably couldn’t have been happier; she bounced in the air next to Sam’s head and hummed cheerfully.
Don't get me wrong, you're not doing it right now, and I'm sure you know this, but be careful about hammering a point in too much. I get that Monferno is upset he can't get through there, you did a good job making that known, but after three sentences associated with that feeling so quickly after the event, it almost seems like you're trying to beat it into me when I'm totally following what's happening. Like I said, you're not doing it, I just want to make sure you know not to make it happen in the future. You dig?Monferno’s head was still downturned as Sam watched the elevator
Lmao, Sam is becoming quite the lovable smartass“Yeah, that’s not shady at all. Tell me, is his doorknob also a skull?”
That was an awesome paragraph. I had to reread it twice because I started laughing so hard. I've seen bits of comedy from you before, but you're really impressing me here. Stunning visual, with a sudden shift to what's real, then repeating it with something different. You have me jumping back and forth in a very pleasant way.The doors parted to reveal a completely mundane hallway that was not at all lined with torchlight and filled with laser security beams such as what Sam had fancied when he thought of the hidden floor. At the end of the short hall, he saw Mr. Henrique Alonzo through an open office door. He sat at a desk that was not made of Donphan ivory and wrote on paperwork with a pen that was apparently not a quill dipped in blood.
Several floors? That doesn't seem possible, unless Sam has superhuman hearing. Whimpering is a softer sound, which would be hard to hear from several rooms away, much less between floors of steel and concrete. Was that a typo, because if not, that doesn't really make much sense from a pratical perspective. You dig?but since he had stopped, he could hear her whimpering from several floors above him.
Lol, although I did laugh at that, it doesn't feel really appropriate given the situation they're in. Monferno is smashing through doors to an end we do not know, Chispa is crying, Bree just flew off to find her; it just seems to be too much of a serious situation to drop in some comedy. Don't get me wrong, comedy in certain extreme situations can add to the excitement, as I know you know, but on this occasion it doesn't feel quite right.“Monferno! This is a boiler room, not a banana room!
ARGH!“All right, so what’s the big idea--” Sam began as he entered the doorway, but what he saw stopped him dead in his tracks.
Nicely done buddy, I enjoyed myself, and you've definitely piqued my interest for the next chapter.