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Thread: Pokemon Fairy Tale: Quest to Save Hoenn

  1. #1
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    Default Pokemon Fairy Tale: Quest to Save Hoenn



    Art and Story by me

    Here is another manga by me and a friend: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0-Blood-Type-P

    I would REALLY appreciate some feedback. Fust ask questions, comment, critique, tell me your favorite part, or throw out some ideas. Something! ...Please ^w^

    Since my camera doesn't take the greatest pictures I will type out the dialogue occationally. Sorry, my handwriting is terrible in all caps. XD

    I will tell my viewers when the next pages will be up:
    What's today....? 9/15/2013.

    Um I've currently switch over to Blood Type P. I am switching back and forth to do both stories. I will spend a week on each manga.

    Prologue

    The story takes place with three characters. Zeru, Luna, and Miles have been life long friends who lived in Verdanturf town in the Hoenn region. Zeru obtained his shiny tailow from his grandfather. Luna met zorua while she was vistiting family in the Unova region. Miles bonded with his infernape when it was just a chimchar after he met Professor Rowan in the Sinnoh region during a business trip with his father. Each of them have a set goal while they stay in the Hoenn region. Luna wants to win at the grand festival with her zorua. Zeru wants to compete in races that use flying type pokemon. Miles being the one who has had the longest relationship with his pokemon, is trying to find a set goal for him and his pokemon.

    Which brings us to today. Zeru, Luna and Miles have decided to travel together now that they all have a pokemon. It has been a week since they left Verdanturf Town, and they made it to Slateport City in hopes for Luna to win her first ribbon. (I know that there is a pokemon contest in Verdnturf, but I wanted her first contest to be away from home)

        Spoiler:- Art for the comic:




        Spoiler:- pages 1-5:



        Spoiler:- pages 6-10:


        Spoiler:- pages 11-15:


        Spoiler:- page 16-20:


        Spoiler:- page 20-25:


        Spoiler:- page26-28:


        Spoiler:- pages 29-36:


    special chapter
        Spoiler:- pages:


    [/CENTER]
    Last edited by orochi; 15th September 2013 at 11:59 PM.

  2. #2
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    Wow, this art is FANTASTIC! I'm loving the effects that your putting into this. (Reshiram's roar, "Slam!" even "Plop!", The dust around Reshiram as Zoroark transformed, the dynamic panel borders.) It adds much more sense into the comic. Very well done! Absolutely ADORING your art style and poses.

    The one thing that bothers me is that your story started rather abruptly. We never had a chance to get to know the characters, their personalities, how they met, etc. Unless you are using flashbacks later on in the story, things like this should be shown.

    For your text, you're missing a couple commas. (Ok, now use Night Daze!") Where Miles says "You need to work harder.", wouldn't "harder" be in the same bubble as the rest of the sentence? Also, Zoroark seems like a Pokemon that wouldn't use conjunctions like don't, won't, etc. Just an opinion.

    Definitely looking forward to more!

    frozen inside without your touch
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keizaal View Post
    Wow, this art is FANTASTIC! I'm loving the effects that your putting into this. (Reshiram's roar, "Slam!" even "Plop!", The dust around Reshiram as Zoroark transformed, the dynamic panel borders.) It adds much more sense into the comic. Very well done! Absolutely ADORING your art style and poses.

    The one thing that bothers me is that your story started rather abruptly. We never had a chance to get to know the characters, their personalities, how they met, etc. Unless you are using flashbacks later on in the story, things like this should be shown.

    For your text, you're missing a couple commas. (Ok, now use Night Daze!") Where Miles says "You need to work harder.", wouldn't "harder" be in the same bubble as the rest of the sentence? Also, Zoroark seems like a Pokemon that wouldn't use conjunctions like don't, won't, etc. Just an opinion.

    Definitely looking forward to more!
    Thanks. I had a few mistakes in there with spelling I know ^^' I really need to work on my penmanship XD. Drawing it one thing. I can fix my mistakes without people noticing. Writing on the other hand is harder. I'll do my best to be more careful XD But the next part will come later after I buy a new sketchbook. I took up the rest of the pages make thing this.

    The characters lives will be in flashbacks like how part of zorua's was made. There is much more to the story so it isn't going to be short. I want to give each character a good background, but the story I'm making is quite long. I don't want to spend too much money on it either. Pens and books can be expensive, yet I love making it so much that I buy gatorade to keep myself up past midnight working on it XD

    My Deviantart *^*

    Art by me
    3DS fc: 4725 8753 8888
    FS: Nosepass, Pupitar, Barbaracle

  4. #4
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    I'm diggin this comic ! Only asking its not as fuzzy. But I can't wait to see the story unfold or what you do with your characters. I smell a love triangle!
    Gaming is not always about the victory and the conquest of your foes. Enjoy the journey for what it is. It all pays off in the end

    My level 100 dream team


    [img]http://oi44.*******.com/107s2vk.jpg[/img]

    Hey do you like manga? If you do check out my collaboration with orochi of my story Blood Type P . Just click on the link below
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...0-Blood-Type-P
    [IMG]http://i44.*******.com/2uhy7m9.png[/IMG]
    [IMG]http://i40.*******.com/24fhc3d.gif[/IMG]

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Codeepfly View Post
    I'm diggin this comic ! Only asking its not as fuzzy. But I can't wait to see the story unfold or what you do with your characters. I smell a love triangle!
    I take like 10,000 pics trying to make it "not fuzz" XD Different position, lighting, and settings. I'm using my Ds for a camera so we all know how that is. I'll save up for a cmera
    Last edited by orochi; 29th August 2013 at 5:04 AM.

    My Deviantart *^*

    Art by me
    3DS fc: 4725 8753 8888
    FS: Nosepass, Pupitar, Barbaracle

  6. #6
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    This is an awesome comic! I love how infernape is shocked to see a reshiram! XD good luck continuing the comic!
    01010110 01001101 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101000

  7. #7
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    As always with your works, it's amazing. The story's quite interesting and it's pretty nice to see how this will go. While not exactly clear and all, it's still pretty visible and actually, you're writing is decent enough too. I'll be checking this once in a while or whenever.

  8. #8
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    Chapter Notice

    A special chapter will be released on Tuesday September 10. It's my birthday that day so.......Well a friend though that it would be a great idea to make a special chapter to celebrate it. So I guess it's like me making a birthday present for myself to share with everyone. I hope you guys like it when it is released.

    My Deviantart *^*

    Art by me
    3DS fc: 4725 8753 8888
    FS: Nosepass, Pupitar, Barbaracle

  9. #9
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    Special chapter

    On OP.

    My Deviantart *^*

    Art by me
    3DS fc: 4725 8753 8888
    FS: Nosepass, Pupitar, Barbaracle

  10. #10
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    Happy Birthday!

    Just read that special chapter, really nice but too bad it was all a dream though but yeah.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by nathandg0924 View Post
    Happy Birthday!

    Just read that special chapter, really nice but too bad it was all a dream though but yeah.
    Thank you. I have some more really good pages coming up soon

    My Deviantart *^*

    Art by me
    3DS fc: 4725 8753 8888
    FS: Nosepass, Pupitar, Barbaracle

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by orochi View Post
    Thank you. I have some more really good pages coming up soon
    You're welcome! Looking forward to those here and in your other comic.

  13. #13
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    Update!
    Pages 29-36 on original post

    My Deviantart *^*

    Art by me
    3DS fc: 4725 8753 8888
    FS: Nosepass, Pupitar, Barbaracle

  14. #14
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    Amazing so far! I love it! Keep up the good work! =)
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  15. #15
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    I like this, so far. You're a very good artist; I doubt I could even draw Poochyena properly... I'll be sticking around to read this!
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