“Hello folks, and welcome back to Confessions of a Gym Leader, where we interview various gym leaders from all around the world! First off, we have Skyla, from… who cares! And here she is!” Kinsey smiled warmly in a fake, plastic manner.
A woman with long, auburn hair stepped onto the stage and bowed, revealing her rather tight pilot’s uniform. She sat in the plush recliner provided for her.
“Hello Skyla!” Kinsey said, shaking the woman’s hand. “How nice it is to see you today! What is your problem?” Kinsey asked, never once stopping smiling.
Skyla gulped. “Well, the doctors said I have a fixation with watching trainers be hurled into walls…” she mumbled.
Kinsey made a ssch, ssch,
noise while shaking her head (much to Ran’s chagrin), never once ceasing to smile. “And what makes him say that?” she finally asked.
Skyla smiled guiltily. “The cannons and fans in my gym are aimed just so that the trainers would collide into walls. It makes me laugh. Like this, watch,” she stood up and inhaled sharply. Her eyes glowed red as she threw her arms into the air. “MWAHAHAHAHA!” she laughed, lightning flashing.
“My, my,” noted Kinsey, never losing a beat. “That is
quite the problem. Anyway, before we continue, let’s meet our next gym leaders! Leaders, come on up and say your problem!”
A tall, attractive-looking male with spiky brown hair and a leather jacket walked onto the scene. “Hi, my name is Blue and people always get my name wrong with some horrid rubbish a new trainer thrust onto me,” he shrugged before sitting down on a recliner.
A tall, gruff-looking man wearing lederhosen, sporting a wicked beard walked in. “Hello. My name is Drayden, and I think my beard is trying to take over my mind and the world.”
“Don’t listen to him!” his beard hissed.
The fouth and final person walked onstage. “I’m Whitney!” she smiled. “My Psychiatrist sent me here after making too many terainers cry WITH THE UNHOLY POWER OF MY DEVESTATING MILTANK MOOHAHAHAHA! Oh, and thanks for having me here.”
“Excellent to see you all!” Kinsey grinned. “First question; how many fanfiction can you name?”
“The Journey of Journeyness!” called Blue.
“The Jirachi Battalion,” noted Drayden.
“Wendistop,” added Skyla.
“Operation COG,” said Whitney.
“Very good,” nodded Kinsey. “That is the first step to accepting.”
“Accepting what?” asked Blue.
“YOUR DEMISE,” hissed Drayden’s beard, tentacles whipping the air.
“Shut up, beard!” Drayden cried in angst.
“My cow will crush you all!” Whitney proclaimed.
“I swear to Arceus if I don’t smash you all into walls…” Skyla growled.
“I’ll rummage through your dead meat-parcels and consume your bones, feasting on their delighted marrow!” cackled Drayden’s beard.
“Beard!” Drayden whined in desperation.
“♫♪Sooooooaring through the skiiiiiiies, smashing into waaaaaals♫♪” sang Skyla.
“What’s up, Che-“ began Whitney.
“That’s not my name!” screamed Blue.
“SHUT UP!” yelled Kinsey, finally breaking her smile. “You’re all INSANE! I can’t handle you all! Just shut up, go home, and leap off a bridge or something!”
“Unova has a lot of bridges,” noted Skyla.
” screamed a robotic voice as Kinsey spontaneously combusted. “Malfunction ceased.
And thus Ends Confessions of a Gym Leader. We will probably never air again after this, being the third time this has happened.