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Thread: Approval (Hoennshipping-ish one-shot)

  1. #1
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    Jun 2004
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    Default Approval (Hoennshipping-ish one-shot)

    Approval

    Rated: G (fiction rated K)
    Genre: General
    Shipping: A bit one-sided Brendan x May (hoennshipping)

    ~

    Srsly. This is one of my favorite ten minute stories that I have ever written. ... Well, this really is the only ten minute story I have ever written.

    Ahem. Anyway, it's not hardcore romance (it really is more of a Brendan and Max bonding moment), but I still think it's a cute hoennshipping story because of the conversation that takes place. It's simple and short. Fwee!

    Enjoy! Review! Other things!

    ------------------------------------------
    “She likes to talk about you. A lot I might add.”

    “Yeah well ... Meh.”

    “That's all you can say? Meh?”

    “That's right, kid. Get use to it.”

    “Don't worry, I will.”

    The sun smiled down warmly upon the tiny town of Petalburg, its golden fingertips lighting up the clear, blue sky of the afternoon. The northwestern zephyrs whipped through the town gently, prying apart leaves from their tree branches and rustling the hair of two boys that sat upon a bench in front of a Pokédoll shop. One boy, crimson eyes peering into the distance, head pointed upward, looked disturbed yet thoughtful, the wind playing with his strands of white hair. The other boy cleaned his square frames with his green t-shirt before placing them back on the bridge of his nose. He kicked up dust from the dirt ground, causing the clear sky above them to turn a dusky brown for a few seconds before settling back down.

    “So ... does this news make you happy?”

    “Well, you never said if she talks good about me now have you?”

    “I figure it'd be obvious that she would, but obviously you're too dense to get it.” He crossed his arms and shook his head, his loose locks of jet-black hair flying about in the breeze. “Why would I bring up the fact that she talks about you if she talks bad about you?”

    “It's possible that you might want to crush my dreams of being with her since you're her brother.”

    “Ah, you know so little about me.”

    “Apparently so.”

    The boy with the glasses only frowned while the other ran a hand through his hair, disturbing the wind from running through it. His glasses reflected the yellow sunflowers that opened their petals to the sun as he gazed upon them, a thoughtful look in his warm, chocolate eyes. Warm chocolate met cold crimson as the boy with the glasses met the eyes of the white-haired trainer.

    “So ... Are you going to do anything about it?”

    “And what exactly can I do about it? She can talk all she wants about me, but that doesn't mean that she, you know, feels the same way about me like the way I do for her. What if ... what if she says no? What if she breaks my heart?”

    “Pessimistic thoughts, huh? Don't think like that. Trust me. I know her.”

    “So do I. She's done it to other boys before. I-I'd rather have my heart in contact with its longing for her then have in break in half, knowing that I'll never have a chance with her. You don't understand – you're eight.”

    “I may be eight, but Latios knows that I know to try things instead of wonder about them. You should do the same. You can live to be one-hundred for all we know, and if you don't ask, then you'll never know. You'll never know if she'd wants to be with you, you'll never know if she feels the same for you, and you'll never know if she loves you back.”

    The white-haired boy only snorted at this. “I don't need your advice, kid.”

    “You need to listen to someone, don't you?”

    “Meh.”

    “Don't you 'meh' me. You know I'm right. Ask her.”

    “I-I'm not sure. Maybe one day.”

    The soft chime of a bell and the groaning of hinges alerted the two boys, causing them to turn their heads. Out came a girl with her arms filled with colorful shopping bags filled with dolls. Sparkling sapphire eyes met the warm chocolate and cold crimson of the two boys, and she grinned, showing off her perfect, white teeth.

    “You guys ready to go? I'm done here.”

    The two boys got up from the bench they sat on and helped the girl with her bags.

    “Well, if you ever decide to ask her out, Brendan Birch, I just want to let you know that you have my approval.”

    “... Thank you, Max.”
    Last edited by Breezy; 9th February 2009 at 4:50 AM. Reason: spacing went all ... wtfizzle on me.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Default

    When I opened this page and pressed the quote button to review, I had read this fic twice by the time the reply window loaded -_-

    Onwards.

    Quote Originally Posted by Breezy View Post
    The sun smiled down warmly upon the tiny town of Petalburg, its golden fingertips lighting up the clear, blue sky of the afternoon. The northwestern zephyrs whipped through the town gently, prying apart leaves from their tree branches and rustling the hair of two boys that sat upon a bench in front of a Pokédoll shop. One boy, crimson eyes peering into the distance, head pointed upward, looked disturbed yet thoughtful, the wind playing with his strands of white hair. The other boy cleaned his square frames with his green t-shirt before placing them back on the bridge of his nose. He kicked up dust from the dirt ground, causing the clear sky above them to turn a dusky brown for a few seconds before settling back down.
    For something of a ten minute story, this is pretty deep description.
    I'd have to sit down and think a lot to write something like this...
    Good job, very beautiful.

    Quote Originally Posted by Breezy View Post
    “It's possible that you might want to crush my dreams of being with her since you're her brother.”

    “Ah, you know so little about me.”

    Apparently so.”
    Yes, very pessimistic...
    But he has a point ^^
    Protective little brother card may always be played.

    Quote Originally Posted by Breezy View Post
    The white-haired boy only snorted at this. “I don't need your advice, kid.”

    “You need to listen to someone, don't you?”

    “Meh.”

    “Don't you 'meh' me. You know I'm right. Ask her.”

    “I-I'm not sure. Maybe one day.”
    This is my favourite part, Max ordering him around, and him conceeding

    Quote Originally Posted by Breezy View Post
    “Well, if you ever decide to ask her out, Brendan Birch, I just want to let you know that you have my approval.”

    “... Thank you, Max.”
    Good to know =o


    Very cute fic, very pleasant. Short, but sweet, just how I like it ^^
    Btw, when reviewing this, I found some messed up font codes throughout the fic...what did you do ? O_o

    See you next time, hopefully for a fine day in May
    Because of serebiiforums, my Life has been put on hold...

    ...wait, that sounds wrong...
    ...yeah, it's the other way around.

    My Works : A, B, C, D, E

  3. #3
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    Feb 2009
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    I lurvz it. Just that. Mostly to the fact that Brendan rocks my socks, and that I lurvz Hoennshipping too. Although it was more of a "bonding" kind of moment, I liked the descriptiveness and dialouge. It made sense (Unlike mine at first). Having Max in the story made it fun. I like Max, too.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadow_shipper View Post
    For something of a ten minute story, this is pretty deep description.
    I'd have to sit down and think a lot to write something like this...
    Good job, very beautiful.
    Thankies. ^^


    Quote Originally Posted by shadow_shipper View Post
    Very cute fic, very pleasant. Short, but sweet, just how I like it ^^
    Btw, when reviewing this, I found some messed up font codes throughout the fic...what did you do ? O_o

    See you next time, hopefully for a fine day in May
    Being OCD, I noticed one of my quotations was like " instead of “ so I copy pasted it. When I went to edit earlier, I noticed the weird font codes, but were too lazy to fix 'em. I'll get to it now. ;P Glad you enjoyed it.

    Quote Originally Posted by xXBlackRoseXx View Post
    I lurvz it. Just that. Mostly to the fact that Brendan rocks my socks, and that I lurvz Hoennshipping too. Although it was more of a "bonding" kind of moment, I liked the descriptiveness and dialouge. It made sense (Unlike mine at first). Having Max in the story made it fun. I like Max, too.
    Thankies. ^^ I never could write a hardcore fluff story. I've tried, but then I get bored, lol.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    I liked it. Awesome ten-minute story. By the way, are you going to continue a Fine Day in May?

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