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Thread: The Back Alleys of Ecruteak (T)

  1. #1
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    Default The Back Alleys of Ecruteak (T)

    Hello dear reader! Man it's been a while since I've posted a Pokemon fic, but here we are. So I wanted to kick myself in the butt a little to do some writing, and so I've finally started writing something that's been in my mind for a while now. I've been wanting to write a Johto fic for some time, and i came up with this. The first chapter won't make much sense until later, but it's gonna give a start to the fic and introduce a couple of characters and ideas. The first chapter doesn't even take place in Ecruteak, but from ch2 onwards it will so don't be disappointed Johto fans! This story is gonna be abound with OCs, familiar characters and lore alike, so I hope it's enjoyable! It's something new for me, so I hope it doesn't flop completely.

    Note: the T rating is there for a reason. From the plan I've got so far, there are probably gonna be a few instances of violence and maybe death references here and there, and maybe even the odd swear word if we're lucky, so be aware.


    The Back Alleys of Ecruteak: Chapter 1
    -------

    Cinnabar Island. The name often sparked a sense of excitement in his heart, even without setting foot on the landmass itself, but today he was one of the many tourists visiting from fellow regions to marvel at the sights, both technical and natural. The butterflies having what was apparently a dance-off in his stomach was enough proof of how much he'd been wanting to do this his whole life.

    As Adohira Chiura felt the ferry grind to a halt, he couldn't help but rush to the exit as fast as the crowd allowed. Tangles of legs, arms holding smartphones and torsos huddled together all blocked the way, but he managed to meander through them all as the soles of his trainers felt the firm concrete onshore. He was on Cinnabar Island, the land of artistic opportunity, where science, technology, painting and more all prevailed, thus making the island one worth a visit for a sculptor such as him.

    The port was full of noise as families and couples all headed towards the exits, as did Adohira. While he wasn't unfamiliar with the experience of travelling abroad via ferry, he wasn't exactly too fond of it either, and so he was grateful when he found his way to the doors and gently pushed one open, stepping out into the midsummer light. His normal habit of wearing knitted jumpers had to be cut for this trip due to the heat from both the volcano and the sun itself, so he had settled on an Alola-branded shirt coloured grey with a pink silhouette of an Alolan Exeggutor pasted onto it. As Adohira put it, "when it comes to clothing, I either go big or go jumpers".

    As he brushed his blonde, shoulder-length hair away from his icy blue eyes, he couldn't help but notice something slightly peculiar. Across the port's car park, something purple appeared to be quivering behind a bush, as though startled. He began walking over, an idea of what it was forming in his head. This must be a Pokemon - most likely a male Nidoran, or a Nidorino if it had evolved, considering this was Kanto - and something had scared it off.

    Adohira had heard that the Diglett around Kanto had started showing traits similar to that of their Alolan counterparts around Cinnabar thanks to the volcano's slow increase in activity, such as showing complete resistance to poisonous substances, so combined with a Kantonian Diglett's usual offensive advantage against the body structure of a Poison-typed Pokemon, it was safe to assume that a Diglett had scared this Nidoran or Nidorino off. Adohira had brought one or two Super Potions with him despite not owning a Pokemon of his own in case he found a wild injured Pokemon, so he was ready to help it.

    He rounded the bush, and discovered his initial prediction was entirely wrong. The creature behind the bush was indeed purple, but quite unlike anything he'd heard of before - it looked like a simple purple blob, with two dots and a line for a mouth, almost like a crude child's drawing.

    Adohira was almost as shocked as the creature, and the two stared at each other in almost fear for a moment before Adohira remembered his Potions. He knelt down beside the creature as it began trembling again, before speaking to it with a soothing tone as he tried to not scare it with his excitement. "Hey, hey, I'm not here to hurt you. Are you alright? You're shaking rather bad, aren't you? Hey, shh..."

    The body of the blob slowly began to relax as it stopped trembling, but the face still looked like it was in panic, uncertain of what his intentions were. Adohira held out the Super Potion, a smile on his face. "Do you know what this is? It's a Super Potion. They help nurture Pokemon back to health out in the wild, and you seem a little hurt. Here, hold still for a moment..."

    He gently sprayed the Potion onto the creature, careful to not spray into its eyes. The creature flinched at first, but after a moment began smiling faintly as its wounds were healed. He hasn't known if it was going to work, but the apparent success was relieving to him.

    "There," Adohira said, "all better."

    The creature began smiling more brightly. As the two sat together, the moment was shattered by the voices of two people - a man and a woman. Adohira wouldn't have minded too much, but the creature suddenly began breaking out into trembles again as the the woman began yelling to the man.

    "-and you're the one who successfully managed to stop us from being able to track it!"

    "It's not my fault, Ana, I-"

    Adohira turned back to the creature. "Were they the people who you ran from?"

    The creature did the best it could to nod. Adohira nodded back. "Alright. They're coming over here, which I assume is gonna be bad for you, so the best we've got is for you to hide somehow since I never carry Poke Balls. D'you think you can do that?"

    As the man and the woman went to go round the bush, the creature did something Adohira could barely comprehend. A part of its purple body formed itself into a tentacle-like shape, which then wrapped around Adohira's ring finger. There the rest of its body began to follow as it started changing colour, began feeling different, became much smaller. By the time it was done, all Adohira was staring at was a silver ring with a polished piece of Red Jasper clasped inside it, completely replacing the creature.

    Before he could even think about what it had just done, the two people rounded the corner. He could now see that both of them wore full black, with a long-sleeved shirt that had a large red "R" embroidered onto it. They coupled this with a pair of trousers, grey boots and a black cap, as well was some grey gloves and a grey belt. The two completely missed Adohira on the floor as they continued arguing to each other, and thus also missing the ring on his finger which was apparently the creature he had just looked after.

    He waited until the people had passed, before he began whispering to the ring, in case it was indeed the creature. "I... how did you... do that? Actually, you shouldn't try and explain right now... you might not know how to communicate it, and it'd put you in danger... you know what, I'll reach my hotel room, then I'll work out what to do with you. Just stay there for now, alright?"

  2. #2
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    Woo, happy to see you getting back on the writing ladder!

    Alrighty, let's start. Knowing you and your love or lore-filled names, I'm assuming there's some kind of deeper meaning behind the name of this OC, who you've described pretty well, the description blending into the overall text effectively. Adohira himself seems very interesting; in my mind he's down as a teen, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he actually interacts with people.

    Secondly, I'm interested that this character is a sculptor. An odd profession, and one that seems to be in great decline nowadays. This profession also supports one of my other beliefs about this Fic, but I'll keep that for later.

    The purple blob, supposedly hiding from Team Rocket. I assume this purple blob is a Ditto, and if so, it's a nice spin you've put on it that I don't recall ever seeing before. The sculptor profession suits the owner of a Ditto, seeing as it can change its shape and thus become the ultimate muse.

    Overall, I'm really impressed Nerdy! Nice little Fic here, and I can't wait to see your description of Ecruteak, by far one of my favourite locations in the Pokémon world. Good luck, and looking forward to the future!
    "The Leader Who Seeks the Right Path
    Everyone has a different dream. Search for your life's purpose"

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by TikTok13 View Post
    Woo, happy to see you getting back on the writing ladder!
    Thanks! I hope I don't fall off it again.

    Alrighty, let's start. Knowing you and your love or lore-filled names, I'm assuming there's some kind of deeper meaning behind the name of this OC, who you've described pretty well, the description blending into the overall text effectively.
    Well, the name "Adohira" roughly means "peace within chaos" (it might make a little more sense later), and the surname "Chiura" has multiple meanings put into one surname, and it's kind of irrelevant anyway because I just found it and thought it worked well with his first name. The fact that both names are Japanese is because he's from Ecruteak himself, a city I'm looking forward to describing as feeling very traditionally Japanese (for lack of a better phrase). I'm also happy you liked my description of him - look closely in my chibi gallery and you'll find an old unnamed OC, and that's him. He's actually with one of the fic's other new OCs, arriving next chapter!

    Adohira himself seems very interesting; in my mind he's down as a teen, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he actually interacts with people.
    Well, next part's gonna have a bit of a timeskip so while he's in his late teens here he won't be next part, but he's still gonna have his personality showcased throughout the rest of the fic. Also as a little preview into the rest of the fic - him and our little Ditto aren't always gonna be the MCs, and the POV will switch frequently - even to characters we know in-game.

    Secondly, I'm interested that this character is a sculptor. An odd profession, and one that seems to be in great decline nowadays. This profession also supports one of my other beliefs about this Fic, but I'll keep that for later.
    Haha, him and your clockmaker in Skybound would work perfectly! As for the speculation, I wonder if you're correct on it...

    The purple blob, supposedly hiding from Team Rocket. I assume this purple blob is a Ditto, and if so, it's a nice spin you've put on it that I don't recall ever seeing before. The sculptor profession suits the owner of a Ditto, seeing as it can change its shape and thus become the ultimate muse.
    Yep, you've got that our little blob friend is a Ditto, in a world where Ditto isn't officially in the Pokedex because uhh spoiler-y reasons! As for the spin, I just took a good look at Ditto's Bulbapedia page, saw that it's commonly described as turning into a rock when it wants to sleep (implying it can become any old item), then saw that a Ditto was unique at one point for not being able to change its size (implying that it's the norm for a Ditto to be able to become something of any size) and kind of went from there. Also, the sculptor thing is gonna come in handy later, just saying.

    Overall, I'm really impressed Nerdy! Nice little Fic here, and I can't wait to see your description of Ecruteak, by far one of my favourite locations in the Pokémon world. Good luck, and looking forward to the future!
    Thanks! And I hope you like what's gonna come next!
    Last edited by Nerdy McNerdface; 21st October 2017 at 8:29 PM.

  4. #4
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    *Crashes the door in* MA GAL UPLOADED STUFF?!

    I really missed your writing Nerdy, I really did, and this is incredible! Nice characters, good set up of the universe. Basically, what I would want in a first chapter.

    Your story intrigues me, I'll look for the next update.

    Admit it, Undyne's Genocide theme "Battle Against a True Hero" is just pure awesomeness! She really is a True Heroine.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Mia Blaze View Post
    *Crashes the door in* MA GAL UPLOADED STUFF?!
    Yep. I assume I'm repairing the door then.

    I really missed your writing Nerdy, I really did, and this is incredible! Nice characters, good set up of the universe. Basically, what I would want in a first chapter.
    Aww thanks! I'm glad you like it.

    Your story intrigues me, I'll look for the next update.
    Awesome! I hope I don't disappoint.

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    Man, this month sure is the month for writers returning from hiatus, isn't it? I'm really glad to see you back. And I'm a huge fan of Johto fic as well as lore, so it sounds llike this'll be right up my alley (pardon the pun.) ;P
    His normal habit of wearing knitted jumpers had to be cut for this trip due to the heat from both the volcano and the sun itself, so he had settled on an Alola-branded shirt coloured grey with a pink silhouette of an Alolan Exeggutor pasted onto it. As Adohira put it, "when it comes to clothing, I either go big or go jumpers".
    I'm imagining this jumper as having the Exeggutor's neck going off one side of the shirt and then coming back down the other side, and I really hope that's accurate. xD

    Interesting that Adohira didn't know what the Ditto was! But if it's not actually in the Pokedex yet, I suppose that would explain why. I wonder if that's important to the plot? There is that one fan theory regarding Ditto and Mew, and this is Cinnabar island. Hmmm... Either way, Tiktok is right--a Ditto certainly is a suitable Pokemon for a sculptor! Also, from the looks of your banner this fic's gonna involve both Team Rocket and Johto Legendaries, and those are some of my favorite things. Looking forward to reading more, and best of luck with keeping motivated this time around!

    ~Chibi~



    "Everyone wishes they could catch a Legendary, deep down, whether they’ll admit it or not.
    If you knew you could use one to change the world, something you’d been dreaming about for years, are you telling me you wouldn’t take that chance?"

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    September 02 Update: CHAPTER 27: “The Revolt” POSTED!!!
    Chapter 28 progress: 9/13 pages


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chibi Pika View Post
    Man, this month sure is the month for writers returning from hiatus, isn't it? I'm really glad to see you back. And I'm a huge fan of Johto fic as well as lore, so it sounds llike this'll be right up my alley (pardon the pun.) ;P
    Aww, thanks! I'm happy you're glad I'm back. I myself am happy too! As for all the lore stuff, I am totally gonna try and jump on that bandwagon

    I'm imagining this jumper as having the Exeggutor's neck going off one side of the shirt and then coming back down the other side, and I really hope that's accurate. xD
    I imagined a more generic design, but now that you've suggested this I have completely replaced my old idea with this because I love it.

    Interesting that Adohira didn't know what the Ditto was! But if it's not actually in the Pokedex yet, I suppose that would explain why. I wonder if that's important to the plot? There is that one fan theory regarding Ditto and Mew, and this is Cinnabar island. Hmmm...
    Dammit, you're a good one.

    Either way, Tiktok is right--a Ditto certainly is a suitable Pokemon for a sculptor!
    Yep, and that's kinda sorta relevant later!

    Also, from the looks of your banner this fic's gonna involve both Team Rocket and Johto Legendaries, and those are some of my favorite things.
    Same for me! I've actually given a little more of a summary in my fanfic profile, if you're interested, then you might see why there is a Suicune and a Eusine on the banner

    Looking forward to reading more, and best of luck with keeping motivated this time around!

    ~Chibi~
    Thanks! I'm gonna try my best to be.

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