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Thread: Monsters Among Us: A Pokemon AU (R)

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    Default Monsters Among Us: A Pokemon AU (R)

    Set within a world where Pokemon and humans equal each other in intelligence and civilization, Monsters Among Us takes place in a Pokemon world much unlike the one you are used to. In these six regions, training and battling Pokemon is illegal, as is the use of Pokeballs to contain them. Pokemon are far more intelligent creatures, being able to communicate freely with humans as well as having their own language. They are even considered citizens of their respective regions, but there are limits. For example, to be considered as such the Pokemon must have a human sponsor whom they live with in a man-made dwelling. The use of a Pokemon's powers is restricted by law to practical use, and they must hold a job that generates income and, in some way, directly or indirectly contributes to society.

    The story follows two main characters: a Spritzee by the name of Giselle, and a Karrablast by the name of Darius, with the occasional satellite character thrown in. Also, this story is probably going to be posted on FF.net in the future; it all depends on my schedule.

    Be warned that this is usually not the format I write stories in. I'm trying something different this time around by dividing the story into parts, with a prologue starting each part out. So, there's going to be several prologues. There's a reason I'm doing this; they're all going to connect. But I'm still trying to find a style that I'm comfortable with, and a lot of my stuff lately has been met with mixed reviews.

    That aside, I do hope you enjoy the story...and without further ado, I present: Monsters Among Us!

    Chapter List:

    Part I: The Olivine City Conference

    Part I Prologue
    Chapter I
    Chapter 2
        Spoiler:- PM List:
    Last edited by GingerDixie; 2nd December 2013 at 5:15 PM.
    I have claimed Nuzleaf

    Current Chapter Progress: Chapter IV, 10% complete
    Second Place: Best Pokemon-Centric, 2013 Fanfiction Awards
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  2. #2
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    Monsters Among Us
    A Pokemon AU


    Part I: The Olivine City Conference


    Chapter I



    And so we must be thankful
    Despite false starts and bitter ends
    Here and there we are grateful
    To have our monsters among our friends.




    “Come on now, loosen up. We’ve had a rough week; I’m not going to deny that. But that doesn’t mean we need to sit here all tensed up, either. Live a little, Thibault. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I thought you wouldn’t enjoy it.”

    The man raised his cigarette to his lips and drew in a hit, temporarily illuminating the tip of his nose with an orange glow like the proverbial Rudolph the Red-Nosed Stantler as his eyes wandered across the smoky haze of the cabaret, his gaze lingering on any scantily clad waitress who happened to cross in from his peripheral. The man practiced what he preached, at least; despite his formal attire, everything about him was relaxed and casual. He’d put his feet up on the empty table chair in front of him, he’d loosened the bow tie he’d so painstakingly put together in order to get past the doorman, and as he lowered his light he released the smoke in a slow, lazy manner, adding the swirling, gray tendrils to the mass of others that already hung themselves thick in the air above him. Emile LaRousse couldn’t be more unwound if he’d tried to be, and tonight, it was his turn to have a little fun. So what better thing did he have to do than to spend his money in Lumiose City’s classiest venue?

    And truth be told, it was one of the best places Thibault had been to. Pokemon weren’t allowed in many of the good places since they primarily catered to humans, but ever since the petition that allowed Kalosite Pokemon to work as entertainers passed, there’d been an increase in the number of clubs, theaters and cabarets that had redacted that rule…provided they arrived with their sponsor, of course.

    It still seemed too good to be true, and so the Aromatisse sat as stiff as a board as patrons human and Pokemon milled around him, eyes alert for any suspicious looks from other humans or any police officers ready to capture and detain him for whatever infraction they could think to impose…they wouldn’t mess with him, he tried to tell himself. Both he and Emile were members of Team Flare, and important ones at that, and it just so happened that this particular cabaret saw a good number of members on a daily basis. They are sympathetic to our cause, he reminded himself. They care about me. They let me become an Administrator and gave me permission to use my powers, even though the rest of Kalos says that Pokemon should be something to be regulated and monitored. I’m safe here. I’m among friends.

    “Thibault, are you even listening to me? Thibault!”

    Emile’s eyes were off the floor now, and Thibault immediately snapped out of his reverie with a shake of his head, causing the collection of hoops in one of his ears to jangle with the movement. “Yes, sorry,” he replied somewhat sheepishly, red eyes quickly scanning the area one last time before coming to a rest on his partner.

    “I said that you might enjoy this particular show tonight…it said in the marquee that they have one of the best Pokemon performing troupes since the petition. What better way to forget a week of failures than boozing up and enjoying beautiful women…or females, if you so prefer that term.”

    Thibault shrugged, claws wrapping around his glass as he tipped the contents into his mouth. He would prefer not to argue with Emile, for he knew that any other tone short of portraying absolute rapture would spark too many questions, and the Aromatisse was not in the mood for an interview. He might as well pretend he was relaxing and having fun…after a few more drinks, that wasn’t hard to do.

    Finally, the house lights dimmed and a single spotlight flickered to life, the operator swinging it towards the stage just as the cabaret owner, a middle-aged, portly woman who despite the years of stress in show business still managed to look and act 20 years younger than she really was, walked toward the center of the stage with her Jynx partner and took the microphone being handed to her by one of the stagehands waiting in the orchestra pit.

    “Welcome!” Her voice rang out like a klaxon over the speakers, causing Thibault to flinch and set his ears back while Emile sucked in a breath so sharp his partner was afraid he’d draw his entire smoke into his mouth. After the hour of quiet, subdued conversation and hushed words spoken between patrons and servers, it was a little jarring to suddenly have this woman shouting into an amplifier as if the cabaret were actually a rowdy brawling stadium clamoring for the main event fight. “Welcome, one and all, to the Café Lumiére! As you may have heard, we have a special treat for you all tonight…the Fleur Ladies performing group has decided, for one week only, to appear and perform for all you lucky, lucky men and males here in Lumiose City!”

    Applause roared about the house, and the matron waited for it to die down before continuing on.

    “I’m sure you’re all eager to watch the show, so I’ll keep this short. Respect the ladies and keep your hands to yourselves, please! As always there is no flash photography allowed during the performance, as it can disorient the performers, and please, no tipping until after the show! Delilah and I will be around enforcing the rules, so boys, don’t think you can sneak one by us!”

    A small ripple of laughter passed through the crowd, and Emile smirked at the comment. Thibault decided that he wasn’t going to chance trying the cabaret owner’s warning, and simply played with the stem of his glass as he waited for the house to quiet down again.

    “Now, without further ado, I present to you the first act of our show!”
    Again the house erupted into cheers as the spotlight dimmed, and Emile reached over to give his partner’s feathered back a heavy pat. “Like I said, you’re not going to be disappointed, Thibault. There’s someone in the headliner that I’m sure you’re going to like very much.”

    “You said that the last time you introduced me to a female,” Thibault replied drily, causing his partner to chuckle. “And it turned out she was a wanted Kantonese criminal.”

    “Oh, like you’re any better,” Emile quipped, stubbing out the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray on the table before fishing another from his jacket. “Now shut up and watch.”

    “‘Shut up and watch’,” Thibault mocked his partner playfully, turning his eyes to the stage as a slow piano melody struck up from the orchestra and the spotlight flicked back on. There was no one on stage at the moment, but as the piano slowly picked up tempo, the curtains shifted in the way that always indicated movement backstage…then a leg appeared from behind the curtain (decidedly Pokemon), and the piano halted abruptly, a drum roll starting up to take its place.

    Then the curtain parted, and Thibault’s breath caught in his throat.

    She was beautiful.

    Even dressed to the nines in the common cabaret showgirl attire, Thibault could see that everything she had done to spruce herself up only augmented the natural beauty that shone from beneath…the sheen of her feathers did not need the glitter she’d applied to make them sparkle in the stage lights, her eyelashes (much like his own) already plump and perfect enough to defy any application of mascara, and her voice…dear Arceus, her voice. The moment she opened her mouth, the male was immediately sold. She could serenade him for the rest of the night; for the rest of the week for that matter, and he wouldn’t care the slightest bit.
    Emile must have noticed his reaction because Thibault could see him wink from his peripheral, but the Aromatisse was still too transfixed by the female onstage to care about his partner’s actions. Others had joined her, but Thibault was hooked on the amethyst girl with the voice like Sweet Honey, and to him, none of the others even came close to comparing.

    Then she started walking down the stairs and into the audience, and Thibault’s ears began to flatten back as his face grew hot. Part of him, perhaps the intoxicated part, wanted her to come over to their table so that he could touch every part of her. He wanted to run his claws through that silky down, he wanted to taste that silvery beak. He wanted to smell whatever particular scent she used to identify herself, as Aromatisse traditionally had their own smell (along with the thousands of others they could devise at will) that was as unique as their name. But the other part knew that would be out of line, and if the club matron caught him breaking the rules, he would be shown the door very, very quickly. And then, Emile would never let him hear the end of that.

    His eyes followed her just as quickly as the spotlight did, and he watched somewhat jealously as she flirted with some of the other males with their sponsors in the audience. Despite the fact that the patrons weren’t allowed to touch the performers, the performers were allowed to touch them, and this particular woman did so in an unrelentingly teasing fashion. She loosened ties, took men’s glasses to take her own drink, smoked lit cigarettes, touched her beak to snouts and noses without quite calling it a kiss…all the while it left many of them flustered and red in the face, while more than a few of them stood up and awkwardly made their way to the washrooms in order to take care of themselves. Thibault couldn’t blame them…it was torture, being so close to something so beautiful and not being able to reciprocate…feelings of love, feelings of lust, whatever was going on in their minds when that charming vixen appeared at their side.

    And then suddenly, she was in front of him.

    The female leaned forward as Thibault’s ears sprang straight up, his hoops clinking together as he tried to hide the nervous tremors that had suddenly overtaken him. She seemed just as calm and collected as she had been with the rest of the males, and it was no surprise to him at all when she reached a claw up to his neck, playing with the matching red bowtie he’d put on to match Emile. She fiddled with the petals for a moment before slowly undoing his knot, bringing her beak so close to his that for a moment, he thought she was going to kiss him, unlike the others. All the while she was singing in that sultry mezzosoprano tone…the world could explode right now and Thibault wouldn’t even notice, if only he could keep staring into those hypnotic, half-lidded eyes of hers.

    Then she re-tied his tie, ending her song on a perfectly-pitched high note as she did so, discreetly slipping a piece of paper into his collar before pushing him away, hips wiggling a bit as she made her way back to the stage. Every bone in his body felt like it had been liquiefied; Thibault couldn’t even bring himself to applaud as the rest of the performers returned and the next number began. He was frozen as solid as a Glalie’s armor; he didn’t even think to reach for the piece of paper she’d given him until Emile looked over to him and pointed it out.

    “Ahaha, looks like you’re one lucky male tonight, Thibault old boy,” Emile smirked, plucking the card out from beneath the Aromatisse’s tie and displaying the inscription: a name, embossed within a gold star.

    “Esme,” Emile read for him, that smirk on his face growing into a wide, toothy, mischievious grin. “Must be her name. Scooooooore~!”

    Thibault acknowledged his partner with only the slightest of nods, his eyes still transfixed to the Aromatisse performer…the one who was apparently called Esme. Perhaps it was the booze that was making him feel this way, but for this Team Flare administrator, tonight he had found someone who had stolen his heart away.

    The Fairy rose suddenly from his seat, almost as if he were in a trance, his claw reaching out and plucking the showgirl's card from his partner's fingers as he turned on his heel toward the hallway where the girls and females were getting ready. Emile started to reach out to him, to open his mouth and ask him what he was doing, but if he'd said anything chances were Thibault wouldn't have heard him anyway. His course was set and he'd already been halfway there when the commotion onstage indicated the start of another act, but this time without that lovely Aromatisse hen performing. Pity...that fact alone made Thibault grow disinterested in the remainder of the show; though Emile was probably still watching like the horndog he was.

    A flash of the Flare emblem pinned to his bowtie got him past the guard, and upon entering the back hallway of Cafe Lumiere the Aromatisse checked the card he'd been given one last time before beginning his walk, scanning the placards on the doors for the name that matched the one on the card. He hoped to find this "Esme" character, Xerneas be damned, and let her know just how much of an effect she had on him. Sure he was drunk...but he was drunk and smitten, and the idea seemed great in his mind.

    After all, who could say "no" to a Team Flare Admin in this city?






    “Darius? Tell me you’re not still sleeping. Come on; wake up, son!”

    A burst of light illuminated the dark, messy room characteristic of a young child, causing a mass of blankets tucked in the far corner to let out a sleepy, protesting moan as the slender figure of his father picked around the varyingly colorful debris scattered about the carpet. The covers shifted as the one called Darius burrowed his head farther underneath his pillow, protesting all the while as his covers were ripped from his lower half and the harsh, artificial light of a ceiling lamp joined the assault of the natural light outside.

    “With the amount of clutter about here, I would be tickled pink if you didn’t take twice as long as you have been sleeping to just get downstairs, but I’m afraid we’re going to have to put it into high gear today, son. So up and at ‘em!”

    The pillow was lifted from his head and orange eyes opened reluctantly against the brightness, immediately causing the young Karrablast to curl up on himself as if he were a Sandshrew, with his tough, blue outer shell facing the predator that was his father in a late morning rush.

    “You’re gonna get in trouble if you keep talking Poké to me,” Darius mumbled sleepily, raising his nubby hands to rub at his face as Hopper the Leavanny pushed a few of his son’s trinkets to the side, clearing a path for him even though Darius himself never had any problems picking through his own messes. “I thought Dr. Berkeley doesn’t like you 'speaking like a feral' all the time.”

    “Well, Dr. Berkeley can think what he wants because he’s having a major conniption over the fact that we’re already going to be late for our meeting at the city hospital today,” Hopper replied, combing through various bureau drawers before pulling out a wash rag and soap that was specially made not to damage carapace before making his way out the door and down the hallway to the common bathroom. “I insisted we waited to take you to your bus stop like we normally do, but I wasn’t expecting you’d sleep in!” he called out over his shoulder. “So now we’ve got to drive you to school, and I suggest you hurry because in a few minutes you’ll be missing that as well! Get your things while I spruce your sister up, and be downstairs in five minutes, okay Darius?”

    “Yeah, yeah…” Darius replied dismissively, hopping down from his disturbed blanket-pillow nest and stretching his arms up to the ceiling as high as they would go, letting loose a yawn that showed all of his fangs and even made the clamp on top of his head open wider with the exertion. Taking a quick glance over at the TV on the bureau across from his bed, he could see that his gaming system was still on, paused on the same map he’d been struggling to get across before he had dropped to sleep at about two AM...he was lucky Hopper hadn’t seen it, as he’d already been grounded twice for staying up past his bedtime and playing this game. The boy leaned over to shut off the TV. If his father found out that that's what he'd been doing--oh, Darius wasn't going to hear the end if it.

    The young male took a step forward only to suddenly become encased in a swath of silk, which seemed to have descended on him from out of nowhere...that is, until he saw the Sewaddle staring down at him from the ceiling light. Damn it; he should have known. His sister Zephyr loved to ambush him whenever she could, taking advantage of the fact she can literally climb anywhere she would like in the house...true, she was only a baby and still getting used to her powers, but ever since she’d realized she could spin silk she shot it at practically everyone around, especially her older brother. Darius figured it was probably because she found it funny how hard it was for him to break free...stupid nubby arms and misplaced pincher.

    “Darius, have you seen your sister by any chance?!”

    He opened his mouth to respond only to have his father re-enter the room, take one look at him and put two and two together, shaking his head and reaching one of his blades up to allow Zephyr to climb down from the ceiling. “Come on now, you know you shouldn’t be spitting at your brother,” Hopper chided her, letting the young Pokemon crawl onto his shoulder before approaching Darius and beginning to cut him free. “Daddy’s running very far behind this morning, so I need you and Darius to be on your best behavior, okay Zephyr?”

    Affirmative gibberish was the hatchling’s only response, and as Hopper finally cut the last of the silk away from Darius, the Karrablast shook himself off, making a displeased face at the residue left behind. “A little too sticky for you, hm?” Hopper replied as Darius leaned over to grab his backpack from the foot of the bed. “Consider it a wake-up call, son. Perhaps staying up all night on the television would do a number on your ability to be vigilant?”

    When Darius looked up again, Hopper’s blade was pointed at the gaming system, the green light on the console betraying what the black TV screen did not. Darius’s expression turned sheepish as Hopper shook his head, motioning for his son to follow him as he headed for the door again. “We’ll talk about it later,” he sighed, reaching up to steady Zephyr on his shoulder as he made his way down the staircase. “I’m going to put your sister in the car. Meet us out there as soon as you can.”

    ***

    “And who is to say, then, that the unrest will not proliferate? I say we take heed from the goings-on of the Kalos region and take action! We need to take special considerations in to what policies are going bad, and be sure they will not go south here!"

    The raspy voice of Baird Auxin filled every empty space within Dr. Michael Berkeley's car, surrounding the four occupants with a sort of heaviness that somehow came through the words of the Shiftry themselves. As they chugged through the morning rush hour traffic of Goldenrod, Darius was positive everyone else was either listening to or watching the exact same debate take place. It was, after all, only a result of a bubble that had finally burst only a few weeks prior: the Kalos region was notorious for being the region with the most rules and regulations imposed on their Pokemon citizens; and as petitions and protests spiraled out of Lumiose City and into the hearts and minds of those who felt oppressed, many Pokemon were leaving their sponsors and taking action...some peacefully; but as of late, those who were deciding to illegally use their powers to fight for their cause had forced the hand of the Kalosite forces...and eventually those of other regions as well.

    Baird was a representative of the Hoenn League, a group of powerful individuals who presided over their regions and worked to strengthen bonds between Pokemon and humans through peaceful negotiations...he was the Pokemon sponsored by Sidney, one of the more active voices of the league and usually the one with the most interesting things to say. He was known for having Baird go up and speak for him, as the Shiftry was a more powerful speaker than he...and today, the Leagues of the Pokemon world had convened at the Olivine Lighthouse complex to talk about the unrest in Kalos. As always, Baird called for peaceful and preventative measures, but as he finished speaking, it was plain to hear from the murmur of the crowd in the background that not everyone shared the same sentiments.

    “None of this would have happened without the interference of Team Flare!” a deeper voice responded… it wasTartarus, the Aggron sponsored by Steven, the head of the Hoenn League. “They’ve been sponsoring nearly all of the protest movements, and you all remember that they took responsibility for the spice bombing of Restaurant Le Yeah...an act that we had all assumed, before it came out in public, was the deed of a disgruntled old man!”

    While the commotion on the radio didn’t quiet down too much, Darius found himself chuckling a little over the fact that Tartarus had brought that up...true, it wasn’t a laughing matter, as spice-bombing a place like Le Yeah, with its multitude of Slurpuff chefs, was a disastrous act of malice. Slurpuff were typically very good cooks as they had the best sense of smell in the entire Pokemon world, but when they had been attacked by literally pounds upon pounds of curry spice packed into explosives, their noses had been ruined, closing the restaurant down and putting them and their sponsors out of work.

    Cries of agreement echoed behind Tartarus’s statement, and as the moderator called for quiet, a tense silence preceded Baird’s rebuttal.

    “True, Team Flare is playing a vital part in this uprising, as Team Plasma was a few years ago during the crisis in Unova,” Baird responded, not allowing Tartarus’s outburst to ruffle any more of his feathers. “And that is what the forces sent to Kalos are doing...keeping the peace. Remember, as I said, preventative measures; but we cannot negotiate without stable ground. I am well aware of the threat the criminal organizations are posing, but that does not mean we should assume everyone is working under the same motive.”

    “So you shake with one hand and punch with the other,” Dr. Berkeley muttered, turning the volume of the radio down so that he could converse with his passengers. “Not a very good strategy, I believe, but if that’s what the Leagues think will work, I guess I can’t argue. I’m not a political expert, after all.”

    Darius leaned forward in his seat, his eyes locked on his father as the debate droned for a while longer on low volume before a shift in the tone indicated a short commercial break. Hopper hadn’t spoken at all since the Doctor had tuned in to listen; he simply stared straight out the windshield of the car, a grim look settling uncharacteristically onto his features, sagging his antennae and causing his lips to purse. He never wanted to talk or hear about the Kalos unrest, and while Darius wasn’t around to know what it had been like in Unova before Hopper and his mother, Madlen had moved to Johto, he knew his father was still less than thrilled that the Unovan Defense Force had hunted Madlen down and drafted her into service, despite the fact that she had fought against protesters before and had even had a run-in with Team Plasma once or twice.

    “You are supposed to be retired!” Darius remembered hearing his father say the night that his mother had gotten her deployment order. “You have a family to look after now, and you’re not even in Unova anymore. How dare they, tracking you all the way here and forcing you back into service, just because they felt that your fighting ruffians the first time around wasn’t sufficient enough!”

    That night had been the night before Darius’s first day of secondary school; a few days after Zephyr had hatched as well. He remembered how livid Hopper had been for the days following up to her shipment, how Dr. Berkeley had gotten frustrated because for the first time, the Leavanny had refused to perform his duties...his own form of protest, as his kind weren’t inclined to violence. But Madlen couldn't refuse the order, and a few weeks later she was marched onto a ferry and out of Darius, Zephyr, and Hopper’s lives for the duration of a sixteen-month deployment.

    That was eight months ago.

    Darius leaned back and glanced over at his sister as the Doctor and his Leavanny partner lapsed into a stretch of tense silence in the front seat. Darius could see that Zephyr was blissfully unaware of what was going on...her gaze was fixed to the outside, and she seemed to be fascinated by how fast everyone and everything moved by, or perhaps she loved to look at the different varieties of Pokemon that could be found walking the streets of Goldenrod. Today, the object of her interest was the number of muscular and strange Pokemon climbing the heights of the Radio Tower, apparently making adjustments to the support structure: among the native Machoke, Machamp and their respective sponsors, there were also Unovan Gurdurr, Kalosite Dedenne and Pangoro, Hoennese Manectric, and Sinnohese Luxray and Drifblim. They were all working within their own specialties, with the fighters being relegated to heavy lifting, Electric types conducting the currents of live wires, and the Drifblim being used to hoist foremen in the air to inspect the work from above.

    Darius had to wonder why the other regions just couldn’t be like Johto. It was in these moments where the Karrablast felt that seeing Pokemon and humans working together, the mix of powers being combined with human craftsmanship; it just seemed right and natural. After all, none of those construction workers looked oppressed. None of the humans ever yelled or made nasty faces or called them names. So why was that supposedly the case in other parts of the world?

    “Can we stop listening to this do-nothing drivel?” Hopper finally spoke, reaching over to switch the radio off before Dr. Berkeley had a chance to respond. “If there was a chance in hell that the governments would call off the defensive forces and try to settle things peacefully, we wouldn’t be having this problem. Besides, I’m quite certain everyone is going to be talking about it at work anyhow, and I don’t want to hear it twice.”

    He remained staring out the window until his vision went black and his face sticky, breaking Darius out of his reverie and letting out a disgusted cry when he realized his sister had shot him with silk again. The Karrablast cried out and scrambled at the material as the baby Sewaddle giggled innocently, prompting Hopper to turn around once more from his seat to see what had happened.

    “Darius, you’re going to have to hold still if you want me to help you,” he replied, gently placing one blade against the blue Bug Type’s shoulder to steady as he used the side of the other to scrape the material from his face. It was a bit of an awkward position for him, and Hopper had to do his best not to accidentally cut his son if the car suddenly jerked or bumped, but eventually he got the job done...just as the Doctor pulled up to the front of Darius’s school, where the usual crowd of young Pokemon was already beginning to file inside before the second bell. That was just as well. Darius preferred not to have seen his friends with Sewaddle silk all over his face.

    “Remember, we still have things to talk about when you get home,” Hopper reminded Darius sternly as the Karrablast grabbed his knapsack and opened his car door. “Important. Things.”

    “I know, dad,” he replied quickly, hopping out the door and scampering out of reach before the Leavanny could grab him for a goodbye “kiss”...which was really just a touch of antennae-to-clamp, but to Darius was just as embarrassing as the lips kind. “Bye then...I’ll see you after school!”

    “Stay awake this time, Darius! You know your schooling is going to be important later!”

    “Yeah, sure!” Darius replied, knowing full well that the droning voice of Ms. Reacher was going to make him drop off in science class as it always did...he just had to make sure her partner Mensa wasn’t paying enough attention today to snag any stray sleep-pattern brainwaves.

    As the blue sedan containing his father and his sponsor drove away, so began just another school day at the Goldenrod City Academy for Pokemon...Darius would go in, pay just enough attention to consider it exhibiting his best behavior, completely devastate everyone in PE class, and then fall asleep until the final bell rang. Easy peasy...definitely much easier than burying his face in a book like some brainy Psychic type. Just looking at a book made the young male yawn, and he would prefer to simply learn whatever he could garner when the class smarty-pants Danny raised his hand to show off.

    Just as the second bell rang Darius ducked inside the school’s front doors...just in time to run smack into the thick of the crowd that had gathered at the front, the jeers and cries of a precious few group of mons in the center being egged on by the encouragements of the ones on the fringes...it seemed to be as if some sort of fight was going on, and none of the teachers had come around to break it up yet.

    “Where do you think you’re going, stinky?” one of the fighters derided, a slight shift of the crowd indicating a punch had been thrown and it had connected with the victim. Laughter echoed all around as whoever was being assaulted let out a soft cry, followed by a string of words that Darius couldn’t quite decipher...it must be the language of another region, but the Karrablast couldn’t quite pin the exact one down. Geography was another one of his weak areas.

    “You’re in Johto, princess, speak our words!” another Pokemon cried, and at the indication that the child being beaten on was a girl, Darius sprang into action. He shoved his way through the crowd, using his pincher liberally much to the distaste of those who refused to move out of his way...until he finally came across a pair of Bagon surrounding a very frightened Spritzee.

    Normally, this wasn’t much of anything to note. Many different Pokemon often fought each other over type rivalries, and the young mons were especially prone to getting into fights with each other just because they were opposite types. But Darius was personally offended over the fact that it was these two males beating up on a female who wasn’t putting up much of a fight in the first place, and all in all seemed genuinely confused about what was going on. Dragon/Fairy rivalry or not, this wasn’t something he could stand by and witness with the rest of the crowd...so of course, he got the bright idea to take action.

    Darius leapt for the nearest Bagon….and immediately blacked out as he was knocked against the Dragon-type’s rock-hard skull.
    Last edited by GingerDixie; 5th May 2014 at 7:33 AM.
    I have claimed Nuzleaf

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    Chapter 2

    When Darius came around, there was a Chansey leaning over him and and a pounding in the carapace of his head, as well as a muffled voice from not too far away trying to console the tears of another young Pokemon. The usual cold, institutionally white ceiling and walls of the school hallways had been replaced with a pastel blue, and while the light shining down upon him was still a harsh white from row fluorescents, the painted walls of the room made the place just a smidgen more friendly...even if it was freezing cold.

    He tried to sit up but his efforts were quickly neutralized by the Chansey tending to his head, taking special interest in an area just above his left eye that stung a bit every time she touched it. “Now now...don’t move, you poor dear. That was a nasty crack on the head you took; but don’t worry. Those two boys are being dealt with accordingly.”

    That’s right...there was a crowd in the hallway. A rivalry fight, between two Bagon and the female Spritzee that talked funny. Darius remembered he’d jumped in to help...how he’d gotten hit so quickly, though, he had no idea.

    Peering at his surroundings confirmed this place to be the school clinic, as beyond the cot he was lying on, Darius could see the silhouettes of various other young Pokemon lying on similar cots beside him, their exact shapes obscured a bit by the curtains. Somewhere some youngling forced a cough from his throat--and Darius could tell it was forced, because he’d played sick for a while to miss school until his father had threatened to examine him himself--but he could assume the others weren’t faking, as the majority of them were motionless or showed little sign of life that indicated they were too unwell to be active.

    “There we are,” the Chansey finally spoke again, taking a pair of scissors and snipping at what
    Darius presumed to be stitches (how would he explain this when he got home?) before rolling her stool back a bit to grab a bandage from the drawer next to the cot. “The anesthetic is going to wear off in a bit, so it’s going to be a little sore, but you only needed a couple of stitches. Would you like me to call your parents?”

    “No,” Darius replied quickly, shaking his head. “No...you don’t need to, ma’am. My dad’s in a meeting right now, and I think I’ll be fine for the rest of the day.” Moreover, if someone from the school called, Hopper was going to assume he’d been involved with the fight, and he didn’t want to have to deal with that hurt look of disappointment...nor did he want to deal with another of his mother’s tirades about “tact” and “honor” when her platoon allowed her to call for the month. It would be much easier for him to try to explain himself when he got home and allow his father the benefit of the doubt than to have some school official make things sound worse than they really were.

    Thankfully, the nurse didn’t push him to change his mind and simply placed a bandage over the stitched-up cut above his eye. “You know, that female wanted me to give you her thanks for trying to help,” she said, smiling as she clapped her hands together in front of her gratuitous chest. “She seemed very grateful that you’d jumped in to stop those two Bagon males...at least, from my understanding.”

    Darius grinned a bit, giving only a slight nod of his head. “Is she okay?” he asked, looking over to where the sobs had been originating from...but now were nothing more than muffled sniffling. “I mean...it sounded like they hit her a couple of times before I got to them.”

    “Fairy types seem to be made of iron,” the nurse chuckled, offering a hand when Darius moved to push himself up into a sitting position. The Bug-type took it; if only to be polite. “Because other than a couple of bumps, she’s fine. And like I said, those two were sent to see Headmaster Lovecraft immediately after the fight broke up.”

    Despite himself, the Karrablast shuddered a bit at the mere mention of the Malamar principal’s name...he’d been sent to see him several times, if only due to teachers being generally concerned about his slacking in class...but the mon creeped him out. Factoring his generally intimidating appearance, the tie and clip-on collar that he always wore popped up to look like the top of a villain’s cape, the quiet voice that never quite yelled and the thick foreign accent, Lovecraft looked and sounded more like something out of a human horror film than a mundane Pokemon Academy headmaster. But...they’d deserved it. Darius thought type rivalry fights to be stupid anyway, and two males ganging up on a female was where he drew the line.

    Shortly after the Chansey nurse finished speaking an Audino appeared from behind the curtain where the Fairy-type was being held, his hands crossed over his chest and a grin on his face as he looked Darius over once. “So,” he chuckled, motioning to the bandage on Darius’s face. “Looks like you got a bit of a battle scar this time around. Glad to see it wasn’t as bad as we thought...see, the little lady Spritzee thought you were going to die right then and there.”

    “Head wounds just bleed a lot,” the Chansey nurse replied, standing up to join her partner’s side. “And I think Mr. Darius here is going to be just fine. He didn’t even want me to call his parents!”

    “Well, that’s good.”

    Darius nodded, wishing he’d remembered the nurses’ names...truth be told, even if he had been in here a lot, he couldn’t for the life of him remember who they or their sponsors were. It was a little embarrassing, but they didn’t seem to mind if he just called them “sir” or “ma’am”. “Thanks a lot,” he muttered, taking a moment to collect his backpack...before catching a glimpse of Danny the Abra lying on one of the cots. Darn it. There goes science class today.

    “The lady wanted me to ask you if you’d like to escort her to her class,” the Audino nurse explained, pointing his paw back in the direction of the cot he’d came from. “Though I’ve reassured her that her attackers are being punished, she’s still a bit...shaken up from the incident. She seems to think that she’d be safest with you, since you’re the only one who jumped in to help.”

    Darius freezes, half-bent and reaching for his backpack over the side of the bed when the male Audino nurse asked his question. While he appreciated the fact that the Spritzee wanted to thank him for his effort, Darius balked at the idea of actually being in a female's (well, other than his mother and baby sister's) presence for more than a few minutes at a time. They gave him the willies; something that his father said he'd outgrow, but honestly Darius couldn't see that happening at any time in the future. But...he didn't want to be rude. She did seem awfully sad just a moment before...

    "Her name is Giselle, in case you were wondering," the Audino spoke up. "And she does speak a bit of Johtoese, by the way. You'll have to forgive her for not being perfect; she and her mother only recently moved here from Kalos."

    Kalos...so that was Kalosite she was speaking, Darius thought, at the same time remembering the accent as Headmaster Lovecraft's, which didn't help with his reluctance to take Giselle up on her request. He bit his lip as he managed to snag the strap of his backpack, lowering himself off of his cot and glanced over at where the silhouette of the young Spritzee sat perched on the end of hers. Well...he supposed it couldn’t hurt.

    "Yeah...if she wants to walk with me, she can," Darius relented. “Where does she have to go?”

    ***

    The first thing that Darius started to get sick of after a while was the smell.

    One thing the Karrablast had completely forgotten was that Spritzee have a particular scent to them; a scent that was actually quite pleasant...if handled in short intervals. After a while, however, it started to become a mite too powerful and Darius had to fight to keep a straight face every time Giselle hopped up and flapped her wings, wafting the sickeningly sweet stench around the two of them as they made their way down the now nearly-vacant corridors of the Academy. It’s not as if he could have asked her to stop, either. Flapping seemed to be the only way she was really able to get around anywhere, as her legs were too stumpy to carry her far from walking alone.

    The second thing was the singing. Granted, she didn’t have too bad a voice, but the ditty she kept repeating to herself over and over again in Kalosite was wearing on Darius’s nerves. More than once, he found himself biting back a blunt way of telling her to be quiet, but unable to in fear of insulting her, of all things. He kept reminding himself that he's promised he’d walk with her, despite his own qualms...and the least he could do after she's been picked on is convince her that not everyone in Johto was bad it was he who had problems with her now, and with a tiny bit more reason than a simple type dispute.

    "Zhis place is so clean," Giselle finally spoke up in heavily accented Johtoese, causing Darius to break the hundred yard gaze he'd fixed himself into to tolerate her incessant, foreign chatter and look at her. "Zhe schools in Lumiose city...zhey were not very nice like zhis. Kalos said Pokemon did not need all zhe poump an zhey circumstance...whatever zhat mean. L'Académie was very simple."

    She spoke as if she was very impressed, and Darius could see now that her red eyes wandered across the walls and ancient wood floors as if it may as well be something out of a dream...of course, he couldn’t say he shared her enthusiasm, but Arceus knows what she had to deal with in Kalos. The region couldn’t keep their own population from spiraling into discord, apparently; hence the whole reason why his mother was over there now, and his father had nothing good to say about the whole affair. So...Darius kept quiet. Hopper had always told him it was better to say nothing at all than it was to say something someone might not take kindly to.

    “So...what is your name?”

    Now the Spritzee was staring at him...goodness those eyes gave him the willies. Well, just being here in the first place made him uncomfortable, but the fact that Giselle had such wide, staring eyes made him feel like he was being pressured to answer. So, of course, Darius stammered like a dolt for a moment, prompting those eyes to take on a confused expression before he was finally able to spit it out.

    “Darius,” he replied, grateful that the shell on his face was dark enough to hide the heat he was feeling. “‘M Darius...the Karrablast.” She probably knew what he was already, but his nerves made him involuntarily throw that last bit in, prompting a bit of a giggle to escape from her beak. Cripes.

    “I’m glad to have met you, Darius,” Giselle responded. “And I thank you for jumping in to help me. I don’t know what I did to make zhose Bagon mad.”

    “Some Pokemon just like to pick fights,” Darius shrugged. “They...uh.There’s a bunch of them who...well…” Chances are, she didn’t know about rivalries. They seemed to be only a Johto thing, considering how in the past, many of the region’s cities were dedicated, sprawling mono-type meccas; homes for thousands of others who migrated from the five other known regions longing for freedom from being crammed cheek to jowl with other mons who had nothing in common with them. True, many other cities in other regions did have a dominant type in residence (with Kanto’s Lavender town being infamous for its Ghost majority and Hoenn’s Mauville for housing primarily Electric Pokemon), but if there was one thing about Kalos that could be a redeeming quality in an otherwise oppressive region, it was the fact that their cities, especially Lumiose (despite the city leader’s preference for Electric Types), were like Goldenrod in the sense that they were diverse, with no single type dominating another.

    “I think those two were from Blackthorn,” Darius finally managed. “And they don’t like Fairies in that city.”

    “Oh, zho I see.” Giselle replied. Darius could tell that statement offended her a bit, by the way her gaze hardened slightly and her feathers ruffled up. “I can’t help who I am. Zhey should realize it.”

    “Oh, I-I agree!” Darius stammered out. “Yeah, the whole rivalry thing they have is stupid...yeah. You see...if I followed it, I’d have to hate every Grass-type I come across. But...that would mean that I’d hate my own father, because he’s part Grass...he’s a Leavanny.”

    “Is zhat so?”

    “Yeah...they don’t take into account that lots of Pokemon have two types, like my dad. I mean, he’s a Bug, but he’s also part plant, so he’d have to hate himself, and then I’d have to hate him, and so would my mom...who in turn would probably have to hate a lot of her cohorts for being part Poison…”

    Darius was so busy rambling that he hadn’t realized there was someone in front of him until he smacked into their gooey backside, the impact effectively coating his torso with a layer of viscous liquid...upon looking down, Darius immediately recognized who it was that he’d just run into. Oh no.

    “Well well, Two Bits. Watch where you’re going, would you?”

    As if he hadn’t had enough of Dragons today.
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  4. #4
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    Hoo boy. Been a while since I updated this. Well...not really happy with this chapter, personally, but I'll see what everyone else thinks. Happy reading!




    Chapter 3

    Despite the fact that she too had had enough of dealing with dragons for the rest of the day, Giselle had to admit that at least the one they’d managed to run into didn’t seem to be much of an aggressive one. Of course, her tone and expression did indicated a smidgen of annoyance, but the Karrablast the school nurses had introduced to her as “Darius” didn’t seem to be on edge over the Goomy’s presence...in fact, the vibe he was giving off could easily be interpreted as disappointment rather than aggression.

    “Oh I’m sorry, Adelaine,” Darius replied sarcastically as the nudibranch turned to face him, crooked mouth set in a sneer as the Bug-type continued. “I didn’t realize you owned the hallway. I’ll be sure to check next time I hear that the Slug Queen is roaming through the Academy and be sure to plan accordingly!”

    “I don’t need your sass, Two-Bits. And for the last time, I’m not a ‘slug’. Get that through that brainless shell of yours before I blow it in through your earholes with a Dragonbreath.” Adelaine’s eyes shifted over to Giselle, her black-dot eyes staring from beneath a thin sheen of scum on her purplish, blotched skin. Giselle really had no reason to feel so alarmed...there had been plenty of this girl’s kind wandering Lumiose. In fact, this was probably one of the most familiar Pokemon the Spritzee had come in contact with after her move; in Kalos, Goomy were of particular abundance, especially the ones living with their parent’s sponsor families around the swamplands, near where her mother had used to live in Laverre. She’d played with them in the summertime, even, coming home to her grandmother’s house covered in mud and smelling of the damp, much to her grandmother’s shock and mother’s amusement. So...why was she so intimidated? Why couldn’t she force herself to say anything, not even in defense of the kind Bug-type who had so selflessly offered to help her?

    “...Who’re you?” Adelaine asked simply, nodding her whole body as she looked the pink Fairy type up and down...she couldn’t help it, given that her entire frame was nothing more than a large amorphous blob with antennae. Well, at least that took away the necessity for Giselle to speak first...and that was fine by her. “Darius’s new air freshener? Apparently ‘Eau de Dweebezoid’ didn’t suit him anymore.”

    Darius whirled around to look at Giselle, who, in order to hide her fear from a moment before from showing outwardly, merely shrugged her wings before working up the nerve to speak.

    “I’m new,” she replied curtly. “And Darius is helping me get to class...after some of your kind decided to welcome me to Johto by Headbutting me up and down zhe hallways.”

    “The Charlemagne twins caught her,” Darius explained. “And thought it’d be cool to pick a fight because she’s a Fairy. Bunch of dumb jocks, they are.”

    “Hey now, don’t go hating on your own species!” Adelaine giggled, prompting such an evil look from the Karrablast that the Giselle was certain that he might start a fight with her himself. Adelaine must have noticed it too, because she then proved her intelligence by not pushing Darius any further, instead turning so that she walked (or slithered rather) alongside the two as they continued their walk to whatever classroom Darius had said home room was in.

    "So tell me, Addy," Darius spoke up after he'd had some time to simmer down from his near outburst moments before. "What are you doing out of your home room? I'm sure you heard the second bell like we all did. Giselle and I have the excuse of being in the nurse's office, but you don't look sick or hurt to me...unless you're going to tell me now that some of those sickly purple spots aren't normal anymore."

    "Ms. Reacher isn't here," the Goomy replied flatly. "And the sub hasn't showed up either. I figured while they're running around trying to figure out what's going on I'd step out I that stuffy old hole and get some fresh air...and then I found you two.”

    “And apparently bothering me is more fun than minding your own business,” Darius groaned, prompting another giggle from the dragon as he turned to Giselle. “See what you’ve gotten yourself into? This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis in school. A slug with a big, fat mouth.”

    “I said I’m not a slug!”

    “Sure you’re not.”

    “Alright, alright...I get it!” Giselle interrupted, spreading her wings out in frustration and causing both Darius and Adelaine to turn to her. “Mon dieu, just kiss and make up already!” Giselle cried in exasperation, causing the Goomy and the Karrablast to turn to each other simultaneously, their faces wrinkled in disgust at the mere thought of doing such a thing. “I thought you were showing me zhe way to class, Darius...what happened to zhat?”

    “Well, see...that’s the thing,” he replied, wringing his hands together as he spoke. “I had to look at your schedule to know where I was taking you...and...well, you had Ms. Reacher for homeroom too.”

    “You did?” Adelaine butted in, her expression turning to one of genuine sympathy. “In that case...that really sucks, Giselle. Ms. Reacher couldn’t be more boring if she tried, and this is coming from a female who likes the subject she teaches. And her sponsored Pokemon is a big fat snitch too.”

    “Really?” the Spritzee raised a brow. “I’m not quite sure what you mean.”

    “Her name is Mensa,” Adelaine continued, slithering forward and thus prompting the two other Pokemon to follow her as she continued. “And she’s a Beheeyem. If you’ve never heard of those kinds of Pokemon...just think of some weird, brownish, big-headed alien-thing who has nothing better to do than sit at the back of the room performing cursory brain scans on everyone. And if she catches you doing anything other than paying attention to what’s going on...she’s got a code that she flashes at Ms. Reacher, and then you’ll get nagged at until she’s absolutely sure your ears will fall right off. It’s a lose-lose situation, and not one any sane Pokemon can withstand for the two straight hours that homeroom lasts.”

    “Well...she certainly sounds like a charmer,” Giselle replied weakly, touching her wing tips together out of nervousness. “But you said she wasn’t in today?”

    “Yeah, and that’s a first if that’s the case,” Darius replied. “Because Reacher and Mensa haven’t ever missed a day of school...not just this year, but probably not even within the time they’ve been employed here. So...I guess we’re home free, at least until the next bell rings.”

    “You’re not suggesting we skimp out, are you?”

    “Well...I am.” Adelaine shrugged. “You don’t have to stick around with Two-Bits the Dweeb-Beetle. He’s got another class he’s got to go to.”

    “Yeah, my homeroom isn’t the same as yours,” Darius said, ignoring Adelaine’s remark again. “But then again, the nurses did tell me t-”

    “Let me take care of her,” Adelaine interrupted, slithering closer to Giselle. “Come on, Darius. You know it’d probably be the better choice anyway...what with girls having cooties and all. Besides, you know me. I’m not going to go beat her up or anything.”

    That gave Darius some pause, and despite what Darius had done to save her from those two Bagon he’d called the Charlemagne Twins...Giselle could see that it probably would be for the better if she went with a Pokemon who had the same class as she did. On the other hand...Giselle didn’t quite like how Adelaine just kept lobbing casual insults at Darius, even if it seemed he wasn’t letting them bother him much. The Goomy wasn’t really making a good impression on her, and so of course she’d be a bit hesitant to go with her. Then again...she didn’t want Darius to feel obligated to do anything he didn’t really want to do in the first place.

    “...Alright,” Darius nodded his approval. “Alright...I guess she can go with you. Just...make sure no one else beats up on her, please? That’s a heck of a way to be introduced to Johto.”

    “Scout’s honor, Two-Bits. I won’t hurt a feather on the Fairy’s head,” Adelaine smirked, beckoning Giselle over as the Karrablast turned on his heel, heading down the opposite way as Giselle flapped closer, perching on Adelaine’s head as the nudibranch continued down the hallway. “Don’t worry...you’re with one of the toughest girls at the Academy now. No one’s gonna mess with you...and now that you’re here, what do you say we go have some fun for the next two hours?”

    Giselle only nodded a weak reply, regret for her decision already niggling at the back of her mind. What a day this was turning out to be.

    ***

    “So, judging from your accent, I’d say you’re a Kalosian, is that right?”
    Fifteen minutes had passed since Darius had handed Giselle off to Adelaine the Goomy...and despite her brash nature that she’d exhibited in front of the Bug-Type, Giselle found “Addy” (as she’d insisted to be called) a rather pleasant individual to be around. Once Darius was out of the picture, the Spritzee still found the Dragon-type to be a bit on the sassy side...but now there was an endearing quality to her that balanced out that part of the nudibranch’s personality. Adelaine was actually quite friendly, and had allowed Giselle to remain perched on her head for the duration of their trip down the rest of the corridor, all of which, from what Giselle could see, contained a human instructor and masses of Pokemon students. Adelaine had explained that the Goldenrod Academy was a huge complex, and this part of the campus was where young Pokemon were housed, completely away from human influence for the time being. “You don’t get to meet the humans until you hit the end of your secondary years,” Adelaine had explained. “So right now, they’re keeping us away from them so that we don’t interfere with any of the ‘important stuff’ that they’re being taught. Granted, I don’t see why it’d be that much of an issue...but if the League says it should be so, then it’s so.”

    Well...at least it was better than not meeting them at all, as it had been in Kalos. Giselle had heard her mother tell many horror stories of her friends who had been assigned to terrible sponsors, and who had lives they had never imagined living as a result. Old, racist habits humans had learned from their parents died hard, and many of them, without proper exposition to what Pokemon were like, had no idea how to properly maintain the bond the sponsor and the sponsored were supposed to share. Therefore, bad matches were common and Kalos; it was one of the main reasons why there was so much turmoil there nowadays. Giselle could only be grateful that her mother and her sponsor had traveled here with their performing group just before things had gotten really nasty.

    “Yes, I’m a Kalosian,” Giselle replied, snapping out of her reverie when Adelaine bucked upwards a bit, trying to shake the Spritzee’s head out of the clouds. “From Lumiose, to be exact. My parents are from Laverre, zhough.”

    “Ah...figures. I’ve heard Laverre has a lot of Fairy types hanging around it...something about the town’s ancient history.” They approached a heavy set of wooden doors, though they didn’t appear to be locked. Adelaine simply shrugged right through them and suddenly they were in a much larger hallway, lined with lockers and seemingly devoid of any classrooms. “While I look like I should be from Kalos, I’m actually not. I was hatched in Blackthorn and moved here when my mom got promoted and transferred...she’s the Goldenrod City police chief now.”

    “Ah, really?”

    “Yep...she loves it, to be honest. And I’d like to have the same kind of job someday. But...it’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re...well…when you’re like me.”

    There was a bit of a downturn in the Goomy’s voice, and as Giselle craned her head down to look at Adelaine in the face, a twinge of regret passed across the Dragon’s slimy features before her face brightened again, continuing on without skipping a beat towards another set of double doors at the end of the corridor that shone with yellow sunlight from the outside. “But anyway...that’s cool that you’ve come all the way from Kalos to be here. Though it’s probably going to be a bit of a culture shock for the next couple of days.”

    “Zhat’s a bit of an understatement,” Giselle muttered, remembering still the sneering faces of the Bagon boys who’d been her welcome wagon. She shifted on her feet at the memory and once again, a long silence passed between the two girls, ending only when the double doors were reached, and Adelaine asked quietly for Giselle to push them open for her.

    “But...hey. Darius is a heck of a guy to meet on your first day too,” Adelaine snickered, looking around at the vast courtyard the two of them had entered, judging her options before heading out in her chosen direction. “And I’m sorry if he made you feel awkward in any way. Two-Bits has had a phobia of girls ever since one of them kicked his butt in front of everyone during gym class...which up until that point had been his ‘sacred ground’.”

    “He was fine around me,” Giselle replied coolly, looking around the courtyard herself as Adelaine continued. “But if he’s so scared of girls, why did he seem to be okay with you?”

    “Because our parents know each other,” the nudibranch replied. “They met a while ago when his mom and dad moved here from Unova...and...we’ll say that circumstances led my mom to trust them shortly after.” Adelaine paused for a moment before continuing, as if trying to think of what to say next. “His dad’s a very good nurse, you know. And his sponsor is the best doctor in town. I think it disappoints his father somewhat that he’s not the same way.”

    “Ah, I see,” Giselle replied, finally noting that the place they were headed to on the other side of the courtyard seemed to be very differently built than the building they had just left. “If you do not mind me asking...where is zhis zhat you’re taking me?”

    “We’re gonna go spy on the human kids,” Adelaine chuckled, causing Giselle to stiffen up a bit in response. “Oh...don’t worry. I’ve done this plenty of times before, and I haven’t gotten in trouble yet. If it comes down to it, I’ll just make the excuse that we got lost...works every time. The human-assigned teachers here don’t keep tabs on the Pokemon kids, so they don’t remember it when I come traipsing through here...and it’s not like I do this a lot. Just when I get bored.”

    “Are you sure about zhis?”

    “Oh yeah...Two-Bits used to do this all the time with me when we were younger. Then he went into his ‘ew girls’ phase. Don’t worry, Giselle. Think of it as a ‘welcome to the Academy’ tour, sponsored by yours truly.”

    “Zhat could get us both into trouble!”

    “Like I said...nothing worse than a slap on the...well...wing for you. Not sure what it is for me.” They approached another set of doors, the Goomy motioning to Giselle to push them open for her again. “Now...c’mon. Don’t be a chicken. I promise I won’t get you into any trouble.”

    All Giselle could do was sit there for the moment, her wing still anchored firmly by her side as she considered her options. One, she could fly away and pretend this never happened...but then she’d really be lost without the guidance of a student who had actually been here before. But on the other hand, she really didn’t want to start a reputation of being a troublemaker in this new region...not with the fact that she had no idea how punishment for Pokemon worked in Johto. Then again, Adelaine wasn’t scared, and her mother was apparently a police chief...perhaps it wasn’t as big a deal as she thought it was going to be…

    “Come on, Giselle. Are we going to do this, or what?”

    Might as well give it a shot. Hope there’s nothing I have to lose…

    Squeezing her eyes shut tight, Giselle finally complied, reaching up to press on the push bar as the air-conditioned breeze of the human classrooms complex opened wide to greet them.
    Last edited by GingerDixie; 7th April 2014 at 8:08 PM.
    I have claimed Nuzleaf

    Current Chapter Progress: Chapter IV, 10% complete
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  5. #5
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    Hello, Subzero Dragon here. I've decided to try my hand at reviewing again, starting with your prologue.

    I'm going to be honest: at first glance, I thought this was going to be yet another Pokémon-vs-humans story. (Silly me, huh?) I was pleasantly surprised! This scene was edgy without being outright in-your-face raunchy. I like that. The way Thibault falls for Esme is powerful, yet it feels a bit like sheer lust. Similarly, the way Esme flirts with Thibault is like a succubus, haha. Maybe that's intentionally done: Café Lumiére [I]is[I/] a dance lounge. (Or strip club, perhaps? That's the vibe I got anyhow. ) I've always liked when an author is daring enough to do scenes from an "evil" perspective. And a Pokémon admin, how fun!

    In short, there's not much to this, but what's here is well-done. I'll review and comment on the other two chapters when I get some time. Good luck, and keep up those yummy descriptions. That's your strong point!
    Complete Stories

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  6. #6
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    Hey there! Doing this for The Review Game, and I'm reviewing your Prologue and Chapter 1.


    And truth be told, it was one of the best places Thibault had been to. Pokemon weren’t allowed in many of the good places since they primarily catered to humans, but ever since the petition that allowed Kalosite Pokemon to work as entertainers passed, there’d been an increase in the number of clubs, theaters and cabarets that had redacted that rule…provided they arrived with their sponsor, of course.
    Interesting idea! The premise that came to my mind when I saw the title was somewhat similar to this, so good job with titling. The idea of Pokemon being treated almost as equally as humans [and having the capacity to do human things] sounds like a fun one to explore, and it makes the story much more interesting to follow. I also like how you distinguish genders between humans and Pokemon, too. Nice touch there.

    I also like how the story is set up to explore the sociopolitical implications of this situation, since you already bring up a lot of issues with the setup in these two chapters alone. Though the ending of Chapter 1 implies that this is more of an overarching plot to the main one concerning Darius and the Spritzee, I feel that you have a lot of opportunities to flesh out your world if you keep on expanding this particular plot. I like that subtle conflict with Hopper's use of language being reprimanded even if they say that Johto is more liberal with Human-Pokemon interaction. It makes it more interesting in the reader's part!

    I'm just a bit confused with the transitioning between the Prologue and Chapter 1? I'm presented with two completely different scenes that are only linked by the same premise. If I had to take a guess, I would say that the Spritzee at the end of Chapter 1 is linked to the exotic Aromatisse dancer, but I'm confused with your choice of using the cafe scene as your introductory scene? It's not so much criticism as it is a genuine question, because it's too early to call you out on it seeing as your story's only beginning.

    Minor plot-point: Are Darius and Zephyr half-siblings? If Pokemon Biology in this story is the same as Pokemon Biology in the games, then all of Darius's siblings must also be Karrablast [assuming that the mother is an Escavalier]. Zephyr's mother has to be a Leavanny [or Swadloon or Sewaddle].


    I have a few other notes with regards to structure and grammar, though:

    And you could bet your bottom dollar that he was going to make sure she knew it.
    The shift here was really abrupt, both in terms of sentence construction and mood. It doesn't help that it uses a "you" even though the whole story isn't second-person. Its informality just seems out of place. I get that it emphasizes what Thibault was feeling, but I feel like it could have been presented in a better way, especially since this was your concluding line. Something more definitive or something packing more punch, maybe?


    “I thought Dr. Berkeley doesn’t like you speaking like a feral all the time.”
    Just a minor nitpick here: distinguish your quotation marks if you use one within another. I would change the second set of double quotations [the one inside the first one] to single quotatons [' '], for example.


    The boy leaned over to shut off the TV...if his father found out that that's what he'd been doing...oh, Darius wasn't going to hear the end if it.
    I'm half-and-half about your use of ellipses, since I'm personally confused with how to use them properly as well. The most effective way I've seen them be used [in prose] is at the end of a sentence, to denote a trailing off of thought. For this particular sentence, the first can be replaced by a period and the second by an emdash. I guess I just wanted to point it out since you use them a lot in your writing, but for different functions that other punctuation marks could be used for [and, arguably, they do it better].


    he just had to make sure her partner Mensa wasn’t paying enough attention today to snag any stray sleep-pattern brainwaves.
    His?


    All in all though, it's a really interesting story. I feel that your plot will really begin to shine once the conflict with the Human-Pokemon relationship kicks in, as I think it's the big selling point of your story. Good job!
    Last edited by Dramatic Melody; 23rd April 2014 at 6:09 PM.


    Berries -- Humans of Hoenn -- A Friday -- Escape Rope
    Trainers of Hoenn (Tumblr version of "Humans of Hoenn")

    Images were taken from four specific web pages of Serebii.net.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Subzero Dragon View Post
    Hello, Subzero Dragon here. I've decided to try my hand at reviewing again, starting with your prologue.

    I'm going to be honest: at first glance, I thought this was going to be yet another Pokémon-vs-humans story. (Silly me, huh?) I was pleasantly surprised! This scene was edgy without being outright in-your-face raunchy. I like that. The way Thibault falls for Esme is powerful, yet it feels a bit like sheer lust. Similarly, the way Esme flirts with Thibault is like a succubus, haha. Maybe that's intentionally done: Café Lumiére [I]is[I/] a dance lounge. (Or strip club, perhaps? That's the vibe I got anyhow. ) I've always liked when an author is daring enough to do scenes from an "evil" perspective. And a Pokémon admin, how fun!

    In short, there's not much to this, but what's here is well-done. I'll review and comment on the other two chapters when I get some time. Good luck, and keep up those yummy descriptions. That's your strong point!
    Thank you very much for that review! ^^ I'm glad someone enjoyed the first part. It's going to have quite a bit of importance later on, and I was also looking for a way to open the story effectively, and I'm glad I got that across. (And while she's not quite a "succubus", per se, Esme is a relentless flirt, especially when performing. What I have in mind for her has quite a bit of "Jessica Rabbit" flair).



    Quote Originally Posted by Dramatic Melody View Post
    Interesting idea! The premise that came to my mind when I saw the title was somewhat similar to this, so good job with titling. The idea of Pokemon being treated almost as equally as humans [and having the capacity to do human things] sounds like a fun one to explore, and it makes the story much more interesting to follow. I also like how you distinguish genders between humans and Pokemon, too. Nice touch there.

    I also like how the story is set up to explore the sociopolitical implications of this situation, since you already bring up a lot of issues with the setup in these two chapters alone. Though the ending of Chapter 1 implies that this is more of an overarching plot to the main one concerning Darius and the Spritzee, I feel that you have a lot of opportunities to flesh out your world if you keep on expanding this particular plot. I like that subtle conflict with Hopper's use of language being reprimanded even if they say that Johto is more liberal with Human-Pokemon interaction. It makes it more interesting in the reader's part!
    I remember getting a review on FF.net (where this story is also, though I haven't checked it recently because I am quite miffed with that site) from a decent reviewer saying that the concept of Pokemon living like humans was a tired one from their point of view, but liked the take I was going with as well. Which is good, don't get me wrong! This was definitely something I wanted to try exploring too when I got the idea of "Hey, let's make Pokemon as smart as humans...but still limit them in some traditional Pokemon ways!" It interested me, and this story is sort of a test run of what a world like that would be like. I've had a lot of fun building it up so far, and I'm really excited as to where this story might head and what reactions people would have. So, in short, I'm glad you're interested too!

    I'm just a bit confused with the transitioning between the Prologue and Chapter 1? I'm presented with two completely different scenes that are only linked by the same premise. If I had to take a guess, I would say that the Spritzee at the end of Chapter 1 is linked to the exotic Aromatisse dancer, but I'm confused with your choice of using the cafe scene as your introductory scene? It's not so much criticism as it is a genuine question, because it's too early to call you out on it seeing as your story's only beginning.
    I'm going to be fixing that tonight. I was also told off-site that it didn't seem to fit the purpose of a prologue, so I'm going to add it to chapter one and get rid of the prologue altogether. The purpose I had to making it a prologue was this: Monsters Among Us is actually two stories intertwined with each other, which will meet each other about halfway through to the end. I was going to tell the story in parts and have the first story's parts in prologues at the beginning of each part...but I was informed that this wasn't a correct way to use prologues, so I will instead just add it to the first chapter of each new part. Sorry for the confusion!


    Minor plot-point: Are Darius and Zephyr half-siblings? If Pokemon Biology in this story is the same as Pokemon Biology in the games, then all of Darius's siblings must also be Karrablast [assuming that the mother is an Escavalier]. Zephyr's mother has to be a Leavanny [or Swadloon or Sewaddle].
    Nope. I'm actually going by GPX+ Pokemon biology rules, in which Pokemon from the same breeding group (but different species) have a roughly 50/50 chance of their offspring being either of the parent's species (I say roughly because if one parent is rarer than the other, there's a greater chance of the offspring ending up as the more common one, as long as at least one of them is the mother's species). It's a little weird, I'll admit, but I feel a bit more comfortable with that system, as weird as it is.

    I have a few other notes with regards to structure and grammar, though:

    And you could bet your bottom dollar that he was going to make sure she knew it.
    The shift here was really abrupt, both in terms of sentence construction and mood. It doesn't help that it uses a "you" even though the whole story isn't second-person. Its informality just seems out of place. I get that it emphasizes what Thibault was feeling, but I feel like it could have been presented in a better way, especially since this was your concluding line. Something more definitive or something packing more punch, maybe?
    I've come up with a way to fix that and will be doing so shortly. I was going for emphasis there, yeah. But I agree it seems out of place with the rest of the prologue now that I look at it.


    “I thought Dr. Berkeley doesn’t like you “speaking like a feral” all the time.”
    Just a minor nitpick here: distinguish your quotation marks if you use one within another. I would change the second set of double quotations [the one inside the first one] to single quotatons [' '], for example.
    That was a typo. XD Thanks for catching it!


    The boy leaned over to shut off the TV...if his father found out that that's what he'd been doing...oh, Darius wasn't going to hear the end if it.
    I'm half-and-half about your use of ellipses, since I'm personally confused with how to use them properly as well. The most effective way I've seen them be used [in prose] is at the end of a sentence, to denote a trailing off of thought. For this particular sentence, the first can be replaced by a period and the second by an emdash. I guess I just wanted to point it out since you use them a lot in your writing, but for different functions that other punctuation marks could be used for [and, arguably, they do it better].
    Fixing this particular sentence with your reccomendations, and I'll look into doing a more extensive overhaul trying to get rid of more unneeded ones tomorrow. You aren't the first to have told me I use a lot of ellipses, and truth be told I've noticed I do go a bit overboard with them. ^^; It's just been a writing quirk of mine for the longest time, and I'm working on cutting it down. Sorry about that!

    he just had to make sure her partner Mensa wasn’t paying enough attention today to snag any stray sleep-pattern brainwaves.
    His?
    For this bit I was referring to Mensa as being Ms. Reacher's sponsored Pokemon, so I thought "her" was right. Unless that wasn't clear and in that case I can edit this to clear it up as well.

    All in all though, it's a really interesting story. I feel that your plot will really begin to shine once the conflict with the Human-Pokemon relationship kicks in, as I think it's the big selling point of your story. Good job!
    And I do appreciate this review as well; thank you for doing it for me! ^^ It was really helpful and I know what I should be avoiding as I work now on Chapter IV of this beast. My only regret is I couldn't get back to you two sooner. I tend to have that sort of lapse in attention occasionally...it's kind of embarassing.

    Hope to see you again when Chapter IV comes around!
    I have claimed Nuzleaf

    Current Chapter Progress: Chapter IV, 10% complete
    Second Place: Best Pokemon-Centric, 2013 Fanfiction Awards
    Credit goes to Brutaka for the banner

  8. #8
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    Chapter 1

    So this story seems to have an interesting start. The universe is unique, as I haven't heard of any stories before that involved Pokemon being able to talk and be alongside humans in regards to citizenship, even if it does come at a price at times. There are some things in the world that still confuse me, such as the sponsorship and what not, but I have confidence that those things will be elaborated on in due time.

    There's not much I can say at the moment since the story has just begun, but I think it's a good start. The only thing I think I have to warn about is that you use a lot of run-on sentences. A good chunk of this chapter was filled with them. I realize that this story is somewhat old, and you might have realized this already, but it was something I wished to make note of. But otherwise, everything felt fine and I'll be sure to read the rest of the chapters soon.

    Credit to Brutaka for the epic banner and Haychel for the image on such banner.

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    Chapter 2 and 3

    Alright, time for a bit of a combined review this time since the chapters are a bit shorter than the prologue. These chapters main purposes it seems were to introduce us to our main trio, who are all kids who I think are maybe 10 in human years. Or, maybe a little bit older. Either way, the three of them are interesting enough with each of them having their own personality and certainly having that kidish flare to them. Darius certainly shows it off the most with his reluctance towards girls heheh.

    Though the story is only about three chapters long as of this moment, I am obtaining a much clearer view of what this story's world is like. Different parts of the world seem to not have very good ideas on the whole sponsorship thing, namely Kalos while apparently the current region the trio is in is better. I'm not sure exactly why this is so, but I can only assume that it has to do with something regarding the villainous teams of the games like Team Plasma and such.

    I suppose I shall have to wait to find out. Though, I certainly do wonder if we'll see Tibault and his partner again. They seemed like interesting little characters and do wonder what ever happened after that brief scene with Tibault going off to find Esme.

    Credit to Brutaka for the epic banner and Haychel for the image on such banner.

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