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Thread: The Truth Beneath the Iris (Negaishipping Fanfic)

  1. #1
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    Default The Truth Beneath the Iris (Negaishipping Fanfic)

    Hello everybody. I am honored that you all decided to take time out of your schedules to read my first ever fanfic. Just so you know, this is going to be a multi-chaptered fic, so you can expect more chapters to be uploaded over time. Don't expect the story to go anywhere beyond a PG-13 rating. Before we begin, I would like to thank to thank Moonlight Absol for coming up with the title and the people on the Negaishipping forum for helping with their reviews and proofreading. Anywho, I hope you all enjoy the story. and continue to enjoy it in the future. Now let's begin.

    ~*~

    Chapter 1



    Iris stood alone, nothing but the void of darkness around her, as she was worried about where her friends and Pokémon and friends had been. Consumed with worry and fear, she wandered around the darkness, calling out as loud as she could “Ash!? Cilan!? Pikachu!? Axew!? Where are you!?” as she made her way forward. She suddenly stopped as she saw two shadows, differing vastly in size and shape, in the distance. With a gleam in her eye as she recognized their shapes, Iris ran towards the two silhouettes. “Ash! Pikachu!” she shouted as she approached the two figures in the distance.

    As Iris drew closer, the two shadows became clearer to her, but a puzzled expression began to decorate her face when she came close enough to confirm what she saw. Iris was somewhat relieved when recognized a form she could never forget: Scruffy, raven-colored haired somewhat hidden by a red and white cap decorated with the symbol of a blue Pokéball, a white jacket covered with blue around the collar and waist that complimented his hat, black jeans that stretched down to the red and white sneakers he wore, a child-like face that would make almost any person believe he was a small child if it weren’t for his height, and above all, dark, brown eyes that had shined with boundless confidence and bravery no matter what happened. Iris was glad to see Ash okay, but her attention shifted when she realized that the small figure next to him was not the small Electric Mouse Pokémon that had been by his side for so long in the past. Instead, she saw a blue-skinned dragon with black fur that covered its long neck and its eyes, which made some people believe that it was blind despite how inaccurate that idea was. It was about twice the size of Ash’s Pikachu, but even without its long neck, the small dragon’s body was just about the same size as the electric rodent himself. Before Iris could even begin to wonder what that Pokémon, the darkness surrounding all of them was banished by shimmering yellow flames that separated her from her friends. Both she and Ash were shocked by the sudden appearance of these flames and Iris, suddenly in panic, began to look for the source of those flames only to see the shadow of a ferocious figure in the sky above her.

    Iris suddenly woke up in a small forest clearing with a small yelp and sweat trailing down her chocolate-colored skin. Recovering from her shock, she began to survey the area around her only to find a few extra trees aside from the one she was sleeping in and Cilan, Ash, and Georgia, who were, surprisingly enough, still asleep in their sleeping bags on the grass below despite the noise she had made waking up. “It was all a dream,” Iris thought to herself as she was suddenly relieved by what she had seen around herself after waking from her nightmare. When she finally calmed down, a green, tusked Pokémon appeared from her purple, knee-length hair rubbing sleep from its red eyes as it wondered why her Trainer made so much noise when it was so late at night. Iris, noticing her tired partner, began to comfort the small dragon by patting its head and telling it in a silent voice “Don’t worry, Axew. I’m alright now” to dispel any worry it had. The small Axew was still worried for its Trainer, but decided to return slowly to the confines of his trainer’s hair for it was too exhausted to ask any more questions. Iris followed soon after, wondering about the meaning of her dream.

    ~*~

    Morning had broken and our group, once again, was on their way to Opelucid City. Normally, the group consisted of Ash Ketchum, a young boy from a distant town who aimed to become a Pokémon Master, Iris, a girl about as young as Ash who was in-tune with nature and wished to become a Dragon Master, and Cilan, a green-haired young man who previously served as a waiter/gym leader with his brothers, but decided to travel with Ash and Iris so that he may perfect his skills as a Pokémon Connoisseur; however, this time around, they had a familiar, blue-eyed guest traveling with them. Going by the self-proclaimed title of “Dragon Buster”, she wore a sleeved, celadon green dress stretching down to her upper thigh topped off by a Caribbean blue sweater vest held together by two bright, yellow buttons, mid-thigh length socks and lower-thigh length boots whose colors matched that of her dress and sweater vest respectively, and lime green gloves that covered her hands entirely. With short, red hair that reflected her passion for battling dragons and a golden-brown hat whose size reflected her large ego, many of her friends and rivals knew her by the name of Georgia.

    As the group made their way down the dirt road to Opelucid City, Ash’s mind began to flow with daydreams of winning his eighth Gym Badge and gaining entry into the Unova League as he thought back to all of his previous Gym Battles in Unova.

    “We’ve come so far after all of our hard work and effort. Let’s do our best to win our last gym badge, Pikachu.” Ash said to the yellow mouse on his shoulder, who responded with a strong, cheerful “Pika!”

    “Yeah, right after I beat Drayden first,” Georgia interjected after hearing what Ash had said.

    Somewhat annoyed by Georgia’s comment, Ash responded to her by saying “Nuh-uh, I’m gonna be the one who beats Drayden first,” with a bit of a childish tone.

    Soon after the response, the two began to have a small argument over who would battle Drayden, a Dragon Master as well as the gym leader of Opelucid City, first as Iris began to mutter to herself “They both are so childish,” with an exasperated look on her face. Seeking a way to distract herself from their argument, Iris began to ask Cilan a question. “Cilan? Why is Georgia traveling with us again?” she asked, desperate to ignore the argument in front of her.

    Being almost equally irritated by the argument, Cilan began to straighten his tie and answer Iris’ question. “Well, after that episode at the Ferroseed Research Institute that Georgia helped us resolve, she asked us where we were going and I told her that we were going to Opelucid City so that Ash may earn his last Gym Badge. In a twist of fate, she just happened to be on her way there to earn her eighth gym badge as well and decided it would be a good idea for us to travel together as a group to Opelucid City.”

    “I understand that much,” Iris said after hearing Cilan’s explanation, “but what I was more curious about is why she would want to travel with us in the first place, especially considering our rivalry.”

    After thinking deeply for a moment about what Iris had said, Cilan finally responded with a sheepish grin on his face. “I honestly don’t know. Maybe she wanted to know more about her rival since we’ll be seeing the Dragon Village on our way there, but what I do know is that we’re starting to run dangerously low on food. I’m kind of glad that the village is just past this hill.”

    Finally taking a break from their argument, Ash and Georgia, along with Iris, who was just as shocked by this news, began to shout at Cilan saying “We’re this close to the Dragon Village and you didn’t even tell us!?” in disturbing unison. Almost forgetting about what they were talking about, the threesome hurried to the top of the hill while leaving behind Cilan, who was still recovering from the shock to his eardrums.

    As the three children finally made their way up the hill, the Dragon Village began to come into their view. Throughout the entire village, there were various small, wood cottages scattered around the area along with lush, green grass that, even from a far distance, you could see the numerous and various Pokémon playing in and pastel gray bricks that marked the paths throughout the city. Possibly one of the most noticeable monuments of the village was the large statue within the center of it that depicted two legendary dragons. Just the figures of the dragons themselves gave some the impression that they were, in fact, gods that the people of the village worshipped. For a moment, Ash, Langley, Pikachu, and even Iris could not help but stare in awe at the marvel before their eyes. Even Iris’ Axew could not help but pop his head out of the mass of purple hair he called home long enough to catch a glimpse of the village he was born in. Eventually, as Cilan caught up with the trio, Iris was able to focus herself enough to introduce the group to the area that stood before them.

    “Everyone, welcome to my hometown: The Dragon Village!” she said with nothing but pure excitement in her voice as Ash, Georgia, and even Cilan looked upon the city with admiration.

    Eventually breaking out of the trance he was in, Ash began to speak with excitement in his voice as well. “Yes! We’re finally here! Now let’s go win our eighth gym badge!” he said with a loud voice as he began to run towards the village.

    “Ash, you kid! The eighth gym isn’t even here!” Iris began to yell as she began to chase after Ash to keep him from going any farther.

    Surprised by what Iris had said, Ash began to lose his balance and fall. Iris had caught him before he fell, but she only got dragged down with Ash and they both began to roll down the hill together.

    “Ash! Iris!” Cilan and Georgia said together with worry in their voices as they began to run after the twosome.

    As Ash and Iris reached the bottom of the hill and stopped rolling, they began to rise slowly to their feet, ignoring their own dizziness. As they began to come to their senses, Ash began to speak.

    “Are you okay, Iris?” Ash said while struggling to keep his balance.

    “I’m okay. How about you and Pikachu?” she responded while seeing to the dizzy Axew at her feet instead of in her hair as usual.

    “I’m okay too, but Pikachu…” Ash trailed off as he turned around to see his Pikachu sprawled face down on the grass next to a small boulder. It was at this point, as Ash turned back to see Iris, that a scowl began to form on her face.

    “How could you suddenly run off like that without warning when the gym wasn’t even here!?” Iris shouted at Ash, who cringed slightly at the volume of her voice.

    “I guess when Georgia and I began to argue about who would battle Drayden first, I just got so excited that I couldn’t help myself.” Ash said as he began to pick up his hat from the ground while scratching his hair in an almost sheepish manner.

    Iris had wanted, so badly, to call him a kid right now after being so reckless and forgetful, but for some reason or another, a nagging voice in the back of her mind kept her from performing this almost natural reaction. Ash became puzzled by this moment of silence, but after a moment had passed, her lips began to form a sentence as she began to speak, but with a much softer tone than usual and a sigh of what felt like defeat. “So long as you’re all right, I guess it’s alright.” Upon hearing these words, even Ash, a boy who couldn’t tell a male and female Pokémon apart if his life depended on it, couldn’t help but feel surprised by what she had said. Eventually, he recovered from his shock quickly enough to respond.

    “Weird. Normally, by now, you would tease me about how much of a kid I am. Did something happen?” Ash said as his Pikachu recovered from his dizziness enough to hear a moan from behind the boulder.

    “What? It’s not like I have to call you a kid every time you do something reckless, and with how often that happens, it gets tiresome,” Iris said to defend herself.

    “Honestly, does it really happen that often?” Ash retorted with an annoyed look on his face as Pikachu began to call his trainer from the large rock, whose voice was drowned out by the twosome’s argument.

    “If I made a list right now of all the reckless things you did, it would stretch across the whole Unova region,” Iris said with her voice and anger rising along with the argument. Pikachu called out to its Trainer once again, but once again, its voice went unheard, except this time, it was drowned out by Georgia, who finally caught up with Ash and Iris with Cilan following closely.

    “Can’t you stop your lover’s quarrel for five minutes? Your arguing is so loud that the whole forest can hear you,” Georgia said with the typical grin on her face and an annoyed look on Pikachu’s.

    “We are not lovers!” Ash and Iris shouted together at Georgia as their faces began to turn a bright red. Somewhat amused by what had been happening, Georgia continued as Cilan began to notice the electricity building in the red pouches on the electric mouse’s cheeks.

    “You might as well be. You both certainly argue as if you’re a married couple,” Georgia said, struggling to keep herself from laughing at their reactions.

    “Uh, guys?” Cilan began to say while picking up Axew in order to warn them all about the angry Pikachu behind them gathering electricity, but it was too little, too late.

    “We! Are not! A couple!” Ash and Iris began to yell at the top of their voices. It was around this time that a powerful Thunderbolt had begun to come from the angered Pikachu’s body, shocking everyone except Cilan and Axew, who were both already a safe distance away from the attack. When the attack had finally subsided, Ash, Iris, and Georgia remained standing still and slightly charred by the Electric attack they were subjugated to. Recovering first from the attack, Ash began to turn towards Pikachu with nothing but confusion as the only expression on his face.

    “What was that for, Pikachu?” Ash started, but soon stopped when he noticed his Pikachu motioning towards the rock it was next to. “What? Behind the rock?” Ash questioned Pikachu, who had then motioned as if he had won a game of charades. Ash had gone to check behind the rock while Cilan and Axew went to snap Georgia and Iris out of their temporary, yet literal, shock. As the two regained consciousness, Georgia began to speak once again.

    “Ash! What’s with your Pikachu suddenly shocking people like that!?” Georgia shouted with anger in her eyes, but all Ash could do to react to her comment was motion for her to stay quiet.

    “Shhhh. Hey everyone, come over here for a minute,” Ash whisper-shouted with a serious look on his face in an attempt to keep as quiet as possible. The rest of the group had been puzzled by his sudden change in behavior, but unquestionably followed him to where he was crouching at. When they finally got to where Ash was in order to see what he was being so serious about, they became surprised by what they had saw, but out of all the members, Iris had probably been the most surprised out of the group, not because of the scene she witnessed, but because the figure she had seen was exactly like the one she had seen last night. The whole group stood shocked as they all saw the injured blue and black, long-necked dragon from her dream.

    ~*~

    And that's the end of the first chapter of this tale. I'll try to upload the next chapter as soon as I can and I hope you enjoyed the story so far.

  2. #2
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    Okay, everyone, I finally finished the second chapter in the story. There's not many shipping parts in this chapter, but it helps with setting the stage of the main story, so please bear with me.

    Chapter 2

    The whole group stood in awe as they watched the small, purple dragon slowly picked itself up from ground, baring its fangs in a weak effort to defend itself from the unfamiliar people before it. It was only as it rose that Georgia decided to break the silence.

    “Is that a Deino?” Georgia questioned as Ash began to pull out a small, mechanical device from his back pocket that many people called a Pokédex. After pressing the white button at the bottom that was surrounded by a red circle, which made it somewhat resemble the image of a Poké Ball, the gray, rectangular device began to expand vertically to reveal a second monitor screen that had been behind the first. Shortly after expanding, the two monitors began to activate and show various colors in the background that were soon covered by various texts on the bottom and a picture of the dragon in question on the top. The device suddenly began to speak as if it were an actual person, but still had a sort of tone that made it easy for them to tell whether or not a machine was talking.

    Deino, the Irate Pokémon. Due to their poor eyesight, which is caused by the fur that grows on their bodies, Deino tend to tackle and bite wherever they go in order to learn more about their surroundings. Due to their pension for tackling, their bodies are often covered in wounds that are occasionally fatal to them.

    “Hmm, that would be a good explanation for why it’s so heavily injured,” Cilan said as another thought began to bother him “but I don’t remember hearing the Pokédex say that before. Did something happen to it, Ash?”

    Puzzled at first by Cilan’s question, Ash thought for a short moment about what Cilan had said and finally responded. “Now that you bring it up, it does sound different from what it said. I’ll go ask Nurse Joy about it once we reach the Pokémon Ce-“ Ash was saying before he was suddenly cut off by a dark beam of energy that quickly approached both him and Cilan. Both Ash and Cilan barely managed to avoid the mass of energy with looks of shock on their faces as it devastated the few trees behind them. As an almost natural reaction for them and people in general, they quickly turned around to see Iris, who was equally surprised by the sudden attack, and Georgia, who found herself sitting on the ground after barely avoiding the attack from the Deino that was now on its knees from exhaustion. “What just happened!?” Ash shouted with panic in his voice as his mind still continued to digest what had happened.

    After both Georgia and Iris were brought to their senses, Iris began to speak to Ash with a bit of fear and panic in her voice as well. “Well, while you and Cilan were taking too long talking about the Pokédex as if you were a couple of children instead of focusing on the injured Deino in front of us, Georgia and I were actually trying to tend to its wounds. I had some leftover medicine that would’ve helped it heal, but GEORGIA was being too hasty and scared the Deino into attacking,” Iris said before suddenly turning her head towards Georgia with a serious look on her face. “Why did you suddenly grab the medicine from my hand like that and approach Deino so recklessly,” Iris asked with a bit of anger in her eyes.

    As Georgia was fixing the hat on her head, she began to respond to Iris’ question. “You were about to give the medicine to it yourself, but as soon as you got the medicine out, you suddenly stopped moving. You looked like you were thinking deeply about something, and I didn’t feel like waiting, so I tried to give the Deino your medicine.” Ash and Cilan could only stand as they thought about what Georgia had said while Iris could only give an exasperated sigh before responding in a somewhat kinder voice than usual.

    “You’re such a kid, Georgia. How else would you expect an injured Pokémon to react if you suddenly approached it the way you did?” Georgia could only look down in disappointment as she thought about what her rival said as she began to slowly approach the Deino, who still bared its fangs as Iris drew closer. “Don’t worry, Deino. We’re only here to help you,” Iris said as calmly as possible as she began to crouch and stretch her hand out towards Deino. Wary at first, the Deino took a step back from her hand, but slowly began to approach her hand and lower its guard long enough to capture her scent. Still cautious about the cheerfully smiling Trainer in front of it, it carefully analyzed Iris’ scent. After a few minutes of careful smelling, the small, purple dragon began to climb into Iris’ lap and cuddle her as if she was a mother caring for her infant child. As the group watched this event, the Axew that stood beside Georgia couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of the random dragon that befriended his Trainer so quickly. Reflecting on this sudden bonding, Cilan began to comment about Iris’ and Deino’s synergy.

    “Mmm, both you and Deino seem to produce an exquisite flavor together. Somehow, it resembles the same one produced between you and Axew, but slightly more bitter than usual,” Cilan said with happiness in his voice and showing on his face as Iris began to give Deino the medicine it needed.

    “It seems much better now, but we should take it to the Pokémon Center in the Dragon Village nearby just in case,” Iris said as she began to carry Deino away in her arms and Axew returned to Iris’ hair. As Ash went ahead to follow Iris, Cilan went to Georgia’s side to help her rise from the ground.

    “I don’t need your help to stand on my own two feet, you know,” Georgia snapped at Cilan as she picked herself up from the floor. Cilan only continued to smile as she got back on her feet.

    “I’m sure she could teach you if you would simply ask,” Cilan said with a calm expression on his face. Georgia only responded to his comment with a simple “Hmph!” as she began to follow Ash and Iris again.

    ~*~

    Nearly twenty minutes had passed until Ash and friends arrived at a log cabin in the Dragon Village at least twice the size of most of the other cabin homes within the village. Decorated with the traditional red and white ‘P’ at the front of the building, the group entered the building through the wooden door below the ‘P’ logo at the center with the injured Deino in tow. As the door opened and the group entered, the first thing that came into their view were the various trainers that could be seen lounging around the center either waiting for their Pokémon to return from their check-ups, enjoying moderately sized meals at the tables and chairs in the corners that seemingly blended in with the environment, or simply talking to each other about numerous topics from what the Trainers did to make their Pokémon stronger to, more recently, why someone was carrying a Deino into the Pokémon Center. As the group walked towards the front desk before them, there were some Trainers that remained speechless as they stared at the battered Pokémon while others continued with their own business as if nothing had happened or what they witnessed had happened too often for them to be able to show any noticeable concern. Finally arriving at the counter, the group was greeted by a young, slender woman in a conservative, pink dress that stretched down to her knees that matched the color of her shoes and her short hair, which was fashioned with two, noticeably large hair loops. Noticing the injured Deino in Iris’ arms, she straightened the white apron on the lower half of her dress and began to speak.

    “Welcome to the Pokémon Center,” she said to the group in her typically cheery tone.

    “Hello, Nurse Joy,” Iris replied with the Deino held firmly in her arms. “Can you please take care of this Deino for me? We found it in the wild, but it was injured and we didn’t want to just leave it out in the open. We already gave it some medicine, but we just wanted to make sure that it was okay now.”

    “Of course, we’ll make sure that this Deino is at full health again,” Nurse Joy said as she stretched her arms across the desk to grab the Irate Pokémon from her arms. Iris had nearly put the Deino in her hands, but instantly retracted her arms as well as the Pokémon when it began to lash out, surprising both her and the group in the process. Somehow, this event got the attention got the attention of everyone in the Center that wasn’t either resting in one of the bedrooms upstairs or working in one of the rooms behind the front desk. Naturally, the people watching this chaos were either annoyed by the noise made or laughing quietly to themselves as they witnessed such an embarrassing moment take place.

    “Don’t worry, Deino. She’s not going to hurt you. There’s no need to worry,” Iris said in a soothing voice in order to calm the disturbed Dragon in her arms. Slowly, but surely, the Deino began to calm down as Ash felt a slight, ominous chill go down his spine. Once it finally calmed down, Iris, once again, attempted to hand over the Deino to Nurse Joy. Everyone in the center had braced themselves for another outbreak, even the Pikachu on Ash’s shoulder, but once Nurse Joy had a firm grip on the dragon, everyone relaxed and went back to whatever they were doing beforehand. After Iris gave a short sigh of relief, Nurse Joy began to turn around and raise a hand toward her hand

    “Audino! Come here!” Nurse Joy called, and shortly after, a Pokémon came out from the door behind the front desk. It had a slightly plump body with a head that barely rose over the front desk and beige fur across its body along with pink fur that gave the impression that it was wearing an unzipped, pink jacket with a hood that seemed to hug its skin. It had a rather unique appearance, but one of the most noticeable features it had was a pair of large ears that would make anyone believe that it could hear anything. The only thing that was remotely odd about it was the nurse hat it wore that looked just like the one that Nurse Joy wore. “Audino, please take care of this Deino,” Nurse Joy said to the Audino as it took the Deino from her hands and gave a soft cry. As the Audino retreated into the back room with Deino, the group decided it would be a good idea to leave their Pokémon with Nurse Joy while they waited for Deino. As the rest of the group went ahead to wait at a table in the corner, Ash had decided to stay behind to ask the pink-haired nurse about his Pokédex.

    “Hey, uh, Nurse Joy, I need to ask you something.”

    “Sure, what’s the problem,” Nurse Joy responded.

    “Well,” Ash said as he pulled his Pokédex out of his back pocket “when I used my Pokédex earlier to search for information about Deino, it said something different from what it said before about Deino. Did something happen to it?” Ash handed his Pokédex to Nurse Joy, who was puzzled at first by what he said.

    “Have you used it to look up information about a single Pokémon more than once?” She asked Ash, who quickly responded.

    “Maybe once or twice, but I never did pay much attention to those kind of details.”

    Upon hearing this, Nurse Joy soon began to give a soft chuckle. Ash could only stare on in utter confusion as to why she laughed until she began to explain things.

    “You probably don’t know because of how often it happens, but thanks to new technological advances made over the years, your Pokédex is now capable of being updated automatically whenever it is brought near a Pokémon Center.” Ash did not quite understand some of the big words that she used, but he understood the general idea.

    “Wow! That’s amazing!” Ash shouted with an amazed look on his face to both show his excitement and hide some of his confusion, but very soon, a different thought bothered him. “Wait, if the Pokédex is constantly being updated like this, doesn’t that mean that we still don’t know everything about the Pokémon researched?” Ash questioned. Nurse Joy began to respond with a more distraught look on her face

    “All of this information is constantly being updated by the numerous Pokémon Researchers and Pokémon Professors of the world, so it’s still an imperfect system. There are some Pokémon that are not properly researched for various reasons such as rarity or a lack of interest on the researcher’s side. There are even some Pokémon that are not properly studied because they are generally considered too dangerous or protective of their territory,” Nurse Joy continued as an expression of sadness decorated Ash’s face.

    Pokémon ignored because of how dangerous and protective they are,” Ash thought to himself as he thought back to all the times he had been in danger because of Pokémon like this as well as the people and situations that made them act this way. A scowl had begun to form on his face before Nurse Joy began to speak to him again.

    “Don’t worry. There are still many people out there trying to learn more about these Pokémon, and I’m certain that they’re doing the best they can,” Nurse Joy said in a successful attempt to brighten Ash’s mood.

    “I guess you’re right about that. Thank you for the information,” Ash said to Nurse Joy, who gave a small bow as he put the Pokédex back in his pocket and walked to where his friends were sitting.

    ~*~

    Nearly an hour had passed as Ash and friends waited for their Pokémon to be returned to them. As they waited, Ash told his friends about what Nurse Joy had said about his Pokédex. Both Cilan and Iris were amazed by what he had said, but Georgia could only give so much as half-hearted “Wow, cool,” after hearing this news, for she was more focused on scanning the Pokémon Center for any trainer that gave so much as a hint of having a powerful Dragon type Pokémon with them. Before long, Nurse Joy’s voice began to echo throughout the center over the intercom as she began to speak.

    “Ash Ketchum, Iris, Georgia, and Cilan, please report to the front desk to retrieve your Pokémon. Thank you.” Upon hearing the announcement, the group proceeded to the front desk, where they found multiple Poké Balls organized in different racks with Pikachu and Axew sitting in their respective trainer’s racks with cheery smiles on their faces.

    “I’m happy to inform you all that all of your Pokémon have passed their health check-ups and are in peak condition,” Nurse Joy said with her typical smile.

    “Thank you very much, Nurse Joy,” the group said together as they began to grab their own Poké Balls and store them away. As Iris’ Axew return to its regular home in her hair, she began to notice that something was missing from the group and began to speak.

    “Hey, what happened to Deino? Is it alright?” Iris asked with a slight expression of worry on her face.

    “Don’t worry, Deino is alright, but for the record and because I find it somewhat annoying when Trainers refer to gendered Pokémon as ‘its’, it’s a girl,” Nurse Joy said with a somewhat serious look on her face that slightly unnerved the group. “To be honest, her wounds were pretty serious. By all rights, she would’ve died within a few days if she was left alone, but when we checked her bloodstream, we found a few traces of some potent medicine in its system. Where did you get this medicine?” Nurse Joy said while still keeping a serious look. After a moment of silence, Iris had finally decided to break it by speaking.

    “I…I made the medicine myself with some plants and herbs I found while my friends and I were traveling,” Iris said with a shaky voice. “I was worried that one of our Pokémon would be injured and that we would be too far from a Pokémon Center if it happened, so I made some medicine in advance just in case.” Worried that she had done something wrong, she braced herself, but soon found herself surprised as a smile broke across Nurse Joy’s face.

    “Don’t worry, Iris; you’re not in trouble,” Nurse Joy said as Iris began to lower her guard and Pikachu jumped back onto Ash’s shoulder. “I was only shocked by what I examined. Not too many people can make a complicated medicine like that without some sort of assistance.” Iris had begun to blush slightly and rub her head in a sheepish manner upon hearing this praise while the rest of the group was somewhat impressed by what was said, but Nurse Joy continued. “Anyway, right now, Deino is resting in the back room and won’t wake up for another hour, so you’re all free to do whatever you want until then. Personally, I would suggest visiting the Village Matriarch while you’re here.”

    “Umm…sure,” Iris said, feeling a bit scared as she thought about this, but doing her best to hide her feelings from her friends, “but we might go to visit her later?”

    “Why not right now? I’m curious about who this Village Matriarch is, or are you too scared to see her?” Georgia said to Iris with a snarky tone in her voice.

    “Why would I be scared to take you to see the Matriarch?” Iris responded with a snarky tone as well.

    “Then why don’t you take us to her now?” Georgia commented. Pretty soon, Iris had found herself in an unavoidable trap that she had created by herself. She tried to think of an excuse, but so far, she couldn’t think of any that were good enough and decided that there was no point in arguing.

    “Fine, I’ll take you all to her now,” Iris said with a huff as she began to march outside of the Pokémon Center.

    “Thank you for your help, Nurse Joy,” Cilan said to Nurse Joy as group followed Iris outside the Pokémon Center. As Iris stood alone, separated from her friends by the wooden door behind her, she began share a worried look with her Axew as they glanced at each other.

    ~*~

    And this is the end of Chapter 2. I hope you all enjoyed it and feel free to leave any comments.

  3. #3
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    I think the story is good so far. It kept me interested and I liked the way you described things. Although in the first chapter, I felt that there was a moment where Iris sounded a little bit like Misty in the dub, but other than that it's all good and I think the shippyness is developing really well.


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    Quote Originally Posted by C.Gholy View Post
    I think the story is good so far. It kept me interested and I liked the way you described things. Although in the first chapter, I felt that there was a moment where Iris sounded a little bit like Misty in the dub, but other than that it's all good and I think the shippyness is developing really well.
    You have no idea how happy you made me. You're the first person to ever comment on this story in this section. The people in the Negaishipping section help, but it's not the same. When did Iris sound like dub Misty? Was it during that time they were alone just after falling down the hill?

    Anyway, thank you for being the first person to comment on this story here.

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    Good news! The third chapter is finally here! Bad news: I don't feel like making a lot of commentary right now.

    Chapter 3

    Only minutes had passed since the group left the Pokémon Center, and already, Iris had been consumed with worry over what the Old Matriarch would think of her. For most of the time that she spent worrying, part of her mind had been thinking about what new moves her Axew had learned so far while another part of her thought about his actual physical growth, but above all else, she had been thinking about the sad truth that her Axew hadn’t evolved yet. As these negative thoughts continued to plague her mind, in an attempt to regain her composure in front of her friends, who were beginning to notice how disturbed she was, she tried to think of some way to distract her. As the large statue in the center of the village came into their view, Iris’ prayers were soon answered when Cilan began to speak.

    “Iris? What is that statue in the center of the town supposed to represent anyway? I know that they’re legendary Pokémon, but I was hoping that you would be able to tell me more about them,” Cilan asked in an attempt to help Iris calm down. Upon hearing this, a gleam of excitement came to Iris’ eyes similar to that of a child who had just received a new toy. Just from one look at her now, you could already tell that her worries suddenly became nothing but afterthoughts as she prepared to answer Cilan’s question.

    “Then allow me to explain,” Iris said with total enthusiasm. “Before the founding of the Dragon Village, there were many stories told and written about the legendary dragons you see before you. Depicted on the right side of the statue is Zekrom, the dragon of ideals, while on the right side you see Reshiram, the dragon of truth. Both are said to possess immense powers that are matched by very few outside of themselves and texts have even stated that they both played tremendous roles in the creation of the Unova region.” As Iris took a moment to catch her breath, she already noticed that her friends were amazed by how much she knew about these legendary Pokémon.

    “Why do you know so much about these legendary dragons, Iris?” Langley asked in order to satisfy her curiosity.

    “Well, while I still lived in the Dragon Village, I would always go to the library here to read myths and stories about these legendary Pokémon if I had time to spare,” Iris quickly responded upon hearing Georgia’s question. “Moving on, as of right now, little is known about where these dragons are with even less known about how to gain an audience with them, but from what I’ve heard, they will only reveal themselves to those with the strength of will to control them, and even then, those people have to prove themselves worthy of the power of these legendary Pokémon by besting them in battle. If I remember correct, Ash has actually seen Zekrom before.” Upon hearing this, Georgia had begun to stare at an embarrassed Ash as if he had done something that no one had expected him to be capable of. Cilan only kept his typical, serene expression on his face as if everything said was old news to him. The group continued to share these feelings with each other until they heard an elderly voice out of nowhere that surprised all of them.

    “That’s a good explanation, Iris, but you seem to be forgetting a few things?” The whole group jumped and began to wonder where the voice came from until they noticed a short figure directly in front of them whose height barely came up to around Iris’s neck. She wore a burnt sienna hood decorated near the top with a small, green ring with a thin, black zigzag in the center. The hood covered her shoulders and hid her weathered, old face, which, despite not looking ancient, still showed signs of decades of life experience. As far as age is concerned, the same could also be said about the beige dress she wore that stretched down to her feet and was decorated with a broad zigzag that circled around the center of the dress with a hue as purple as her hidden eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ll finish the rest,” the elderly woman continued as Iris and friends were still shocked by her appearance. “At one point, Zekrom and Reshiram were actually one single entity forged by their combined powers and controlled by a pair of twin brothers. One day, these two brothers began to argue, and eventually, this single entity split into the two legendary dragons we know today. With Reshiram sided with the older brother, who sought truth, and Zekrom sided to the younger brother, who sought ideals, the two pairs began to fight each other for the sake of their beliefs. The battle raged on for what seemed like an eternity until finally, after both sides were exhausted, the two brothers agreed that neither side was absolutely correct. Once the fighting stopped, both brothers, along with their respective dragons, went their separate ways, never to see each other again.” As the elderly woman finished the story, the group still stood, astounded by the story that was told just now. After a few moments of silence, the elderly woman spoke once again. “It’s good to see you back in the Dragon Village, Iris,” the elderly woman said with a smile on her face.

    “I- It’s nice to see you again as well, Matriarch,” Iris said, recovering from her temporary shock.

    “Well, it’s hard to hold a good conversation while standing, and I’m sure you and your friends are tired from the journey here, so follow me,” the Old Matriarch said as she began to walk away. Iris soon followed with the rest of the group following suit, still recovering from their shock as well.

    ~*~

    Short moments passed before the group found themselves at the entrance of a cottage near the statue of Reshiram and Zekrom. As the group walked toward the front door of the cottage, they took notice of the unique paintings that decorated the outer walls of the building. The pictures themselves felt like something from ancient times, but once they entered the building, they felt as if they had gone back in time. In the center of the large room was a long, but short, mahogany table with small, white pillows scattered around it. Around the room, the group took notice of the various drawn pictures of both people and Pokémon that decorated one side of the wall and the crammed bookshelves that stood on the wall opposite of the drawings. Behind the table and opposite of the door they entered, they saw multiple black and white photos of the Old Matriarch in her younger years as well as numerous other people and Pokémon. These old photos were separated by a pair of red curtains in the center decorated with thick lines of blue, green, and yellow that traveled across them. As the Old Matriarch began to rest her knees at the pillow closest to the curtains, the group began to take their seats on the opposite side of the table. The Old Matriarch began to speak as both Pikachu and Axew proceeded to rest on the laps of their respective trainers.

    “It’s good to see you again after your long absence from the Dragon Village, Iris. A few things have changed ever since you left, but it seems that you’ve been through a few changes as well,” the Old Matriarch said with a deep voice that acted as a clear sign of how much she has aged.

    “Thank you, Matriarch, but honestly, I have to thank the friends I made during my travels for my current growth,” Iris said, still feeling a little nervous.

    “And I’m guessing that these three are the friends you’re talking about,” the Old Matriarch said as she analyzed Ash, Cilan, and Georgia with a cautious eye. “Rather than stay silent as if you all were getting lectured, why don’t you all introduce yourselves?” Somewhat surprised by what she said, the group quickly recovered and began to speak one at a time.

    “I’m Ash Ketchum, and this is my partner, Pikachu,” Ash said as he looked down at his Pikachu, who gave a cheerful shout.

    “My name is Cilan. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Matriarch,” Cilan said, giving the closest thing to a bow that he can from his current position.

    “And I’m Iris’s rival, Georgia,” she said, trying to sound as confident as possible.

    “Hmm…I thought I remembered a trainer like you from before,” the Old Matriarch said after taking another moment to analyze Georgia. “You just seemed so cheerful with that Cubchoo resting on top of your head. I even remember talking to you quite a few times while you were here. You had such a lively and kindhearted spirit and would always ask me so many questions, but you seem so much different now than you did then. Did something happen?”

    “Nothing you need to worry about,” Georgia said as a slight blush of embarrassment came across her face and a grin appeared on Iris’s face. Georgia only continued as she ignored her rival, who struggled to keep herself from laughing. “I just went through a few changes like any other person,” Georgia said as she looked down in shame.

    “Well, whatever happened, it seems to have made you stronger than you were when I saw you before, and it seems to have helped with Iris’s and Axew’s growth as well,” The Old Matriarch said, taking a quick glance at the Axew in Iris’s lap.

    “But it’s still far from its final evolution,” Iris remarked, feeling as shameful as her rival was. “I’ve been trying to train it one step at a time up to now, but even after we’ve been together for so long, it still hasn’t made much progress. The training that Axew has had against Ash’s Pokémon has been very helpful, but I-“

    “Iris,” the Old Matriarch called, stopping Iris from spouting another word of self-doubt. “There’s no need to be so worried over how much your Axew has grown. All Pokémon learn and grow at their own pace, and how much it grows also depends on its Trainer’s state of mind. So long as your Pokémon knows that you’re trying your best and that you’re keeping your mind at peace, it will grow when it needs to the most.”

    “So long as I do my best and keep my mind at peace, my Pokémon will grow when it needs to the most,” Iris thought to herself as she gave a quick glance towards Cilan. The Old Matriarch had noticed this, but only gave a knowing smirk before speaking once again.

    “Well, if you still have uncertainties in your mind about your own skills, I’m sure both you AND your friends can help you realize your own self-worth in the Dragon Village Tournament being held tomorrow,” the Old Matriarch said with a smirk on her face.

    “Tournament!?” Ash exclaimed, surprising everyone in the room except the Old Matriarch. “Do you mean the tournament that’s held here only once a year? That tournament?”

    “It seems we have a battle fanatic in the room,” the Old Matriarch said after giving a small laugh, “And it seems that someone already told him about the tournament. There are four spots left for the tournament, so all of you can participate and have fun.”

    “Oh yes! I can’t wait for the tournament tomorrow! I even have a new move that I want to try out!” Ash exclaimed, excited after hearing this news.

    “Getting excited over such a small tournament? You’re such a kid,” Iris said with the same smug look she always had whenever she teased Ash this way. Ash only responded with a look of annoyance towards Iris as the Old Matriarch decided to speak in order to break the tension.

    “Speaking of kids, I’m sure that a certain mother is worried about her child right now.” Iris was confused for a moment by what the Old Matriarch had said, but suddenly had a look of shock on her face and gave a gasp when she realized what the Old Matriarch was talking about.

    “Whoops! I’m sorry, Matriarch, but I have to leave right away!” Iris said as she quickly rose from her seat and ran out of the same door that she entered the room from. Ash and Cilan only remained surprised by her sudden exit while Georgia simply groaned as she straightened her hat.

    “Ugh! She can be such a pain sometimes,” Georgia said with a tone of annoyance as she also began to rise and chase after Iris.

    “It’s nice to know that Iris has made so many good friends,” the Old Matriarch said after Georgia had left the cabin. “She also seems to be especially close to you, Ash.”

    “What do you mean by that,” Ash responded, confused by what the Old Matriarch had said.

    “You’ll know what I mean later, but you won’t find out any sooner here. Iris’s home should be to the left of the statue. Her house should be the one with a green roof, and don’t worry, I’ll take care of tournament registration for the four of you, so all you need to do is pick one Pokémon to use for the whole tournament,” the Old Matriarch said as Ash and Cilan rose to their feet. “It was a pleasure to meet all of you.”

    “It was a pleasure to meet you, too,” Ash and Cilan said together before leaving the cottage.

    As soon as Ash and Cilan left the cottage, they suddenly noticed Georgia standing near the statue of Reshiram and Zekrom, much to their surprise. As the twosome walked towards her, they began to notice that she was simply staring into space, somewhat unaware of her current surroundings. It was as if she just saw a ghost from her past.

    “Georgia! Wake up!” Cilan shouted, breaking her from her temporary trance. “You seemed a bit distant. Did something happen?” Cilan asked, hoping for an answer.

    “N- No, it was nothing,” Georgia stammered, trying to hide what truly happened from Ash and Cilan, who, after a few seconds, only responded with a shrug of their shoulders.

    ~*~

    Well, that ends the chapter. Pretty soon, we're going to have some actual battling in this story. It's going to be a practice match between Ash and Iris. Try to guess which Pokemon are going to be used in the battle.

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    I like how your story is going so far. You're not rushing the romance, but instead you are developing the scene. There were a few errors in Chapter 2, but I don't think I recall seeing any in Chapter 3.

    I like how you have a cliffhanger at the end, but I think I know what happened from being in the Negaishipping thread. ^^;
    Well, I already know who Ash will use in the tournament...
    What I don't get is that the Matriarch smirked when Iris glanced at Cilan, yet she says how Iris is closer to Ash. Wouldn't the Old Matriarch have noticed that Iris was close to both Ash and Cilan, but more so to Cilan?

    Overall, great story! Keep up the good work!


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    Quote Originally Posted by watericedragon View Post
    I like how your story is going so far. You're not rushing the romance, but instead you are developing the scene. There were a few errors in Chapter 2, but I don't think I recall seeing any in Chapter 3.

    I like how you have a cliffhanger at the end, but I think I know what happened from being in the Negaishipping thread. ^^;
    Well, I already know who Ash will use in the tournament...
    What I don't get is that the Matriarch smirked when Iris glanced at Cilan, yet she says how Iris is closer to Ash. Wouldn't the Old Matriarch have noticed that Iris was close to both Ash and Cilan, but more so to Cilan?

    Overall, great story! Keep up the good work!
    She only smirked at that because she already knew that Cilan gave her some eerily similar advice. It was just a smile of relief that she's around such reliable people (and maybe just to mess with the WishfulShippers for the lulz). She also comments about how Ash is closer to Iris because, like some people who've seen a tsundere with a crush or that episode in DP with Piplup and a wild Elekid crushing on a Marill, she's sees her teasing as a way to hide her affection.

    I don't really like to rush things, and I figured that since I tend to have a lot of free time, I might as well try to develop things. I also felt like putting in a few creative ideas of my own and give my perspective on what would've happened if we didn't get a BW2 and the group went to Opelucid City to battle Drayden for Ash's 8th gym instead. I'm glad you enjoyed it and feel free to tell your friends about this story.

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    I agree with the things that watericedragon has said. I think it's well developed and described. Referring to my last comment, this was the part I meant:

    “We! Are not! A couple!” Ash and Iris began to yell at the top of their voices.
    That part reminded me of pokeshipping all of a sudden, but it didn't distract me too much.


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    Quote Originally Posted by C.Gholy View Post
    I agree with the things that watericedragon has said. I think it's well developed and described. Referring to my last comment, this was the part I meant:


    That part reminded me of pokeshipping all of a sudden, but it didn't distract me too much.
    Well, the anime does end up developing Iris to be a little like Misty, so it's understandable. I'm so thankful that you came back to read the new chapter. It's nice to see people come here to read my stories and give their reviews. It's funny, tbh. When you think your stories are good, you want more reviews, but when the stories are actually good, you get less reviews, which can be so agonizing. Confusing, right? I'm glad you all enjoyed the story so far.

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    You have no idea how excited I am right now. This is the first time that I've ever written a fight scene for a story. I was a bit nervous at first, but I finally finished it. Again, for all the people out there that continue to read this story and leave your comments (I'm looking at you, AmeNeko a.k.a Rain Cat), you have no idea how happy I am. I hope you enjoy this new chapter, viewers, and don't forget to leave your comments.

    Chapter 4


    Only a few minutes had passed until Iris had found herself only a few yards away from her home, gasping for air after running so quickly from the Old Matriarch's house. As she recovered from her short exhaustion, she began to think back to her earlier childhood, reminiscing about how she would often play with the Pokémon of the forest and village. As these memories flooded her mind, all Iris could do was stand and marvel at her modest home and the small tree that stood by it. "I'm home. After so long, I'm finally home," Iris said to herself as she walked past the small tree and up to the front door. Standing at the front door, Iris raised her clenched hand and began to knock. A moment had passed and there was no answer, so she began to knock again, hoping that someone was still home. After another moment, the lock clicked and the door slowly opened to reveal a figure no taller than Cilan. Her scrawny figure was covered by what could only be described as a simple, amber colored apache dress. Both Iris and the woman behind the door shared the same chocolate skin and long, purple hair, but surprisingly, her hair was shorter when compared to Iris's wilder hairstyle and unrestrained at the bottom. Her face had the same brown eyes as well and only showed a few wrinkles. Although she wasn't as old as the Matriarch, her face and body had still shown signs of aging and experience. As she examined the young girl before her, a gleam of joy came into her eyes and she began to speak.

    "Is that you, Iris?" the woman at the door asked as she opened the door wider.

    "Yes Mom. It's me, Iri-," but before Iris could even finish her sentence, she had suddenly found herself in her mother's tight embrace.

    "I've missed you so much, Iris. You have no idea," her mother said as she continued to hold Iris tightly in her arms.

    "I missed you too, Mom," Iris gasped, struggling to even get her words out, "But I won't be able to hug you back if you keep strangling me like this." Upon hearing this, her mother began to loosen her grip and the two of them began to embrace each other for what felt like an eternity. After the duo released each other, Iris's mother began to beckon her and the two of them entered the modest cabin. As they entered the cabin, the first thing that caught Iris's attention was the set of Ducklett Wings that stood framed at the top of the shelves along with several other photos and souvenirs that took their places below the set of clear, gray wings. In front of those shelves stood a plain, white couch that took its place near the stairs to the second floor of the house. Right in front of the couch, Iris could see a small, brown chair that faced it as well as a small table of the same color that stood in-between the chair and couch. Across the entire room, with the exception of the opening to the right of the shelves that led to the kitchen, all of the walls were made up of furnished, wooden planks that shone with a brighter shade of brown than the chair and table. After absorbing her surroundings for a minute, Iris made her way to the couch as her mother walked towards the kitchen. Iris was confused by what she was doing, but before she could even form her lips to ask a question, her mom had already spoke.

    "I'm going to make some lunch and tea. Just rest for now while I'm in the kitchen," Iris's mom said before disappearing through the opening.

    "Okay, Mom," Iris responded. As she waited, her mind started to wander and she began to think about all of her travels up to now with all of her friends from how they first met to the tournaments that they competed in. At first, Iris had wondered where her friends were and about whether or not they had gotten lost on their way to her house, but as her mind slipped farther away, she reassured herself that her friends were perfectly safe and simply taking their time and began to doze off.

    ~*~

    Roused by the smell of delicious food, Iris had begun to wake from her nap and gave a loud yawn. "Hmm, I must've fallen asleep," Iris thought to herself as she began to rub her eyes in an effort to stay awake. As she turned her head upward to look at the clock above her on the wall, grief and shock suddenly decorated her face as she realized that nearly an hour had passed since she had taken her nap. She had wanted to ask her mom why she let her stay asleep for so long, but her mind was more preoccupied by thoughts of Ash and her other friends being kidnapped or injured. "Mom! I need to head out right now, but I'll be back in a minute!" Iris shouted as she quickly ran towards the door. Iris had begun to jerk open the door, but before she could even open it completely, it suddenly stopped and a short cry of pain was heard, followed quickly by a thud. Iris had begun to open the door slowly, wondering what she could have possibly hit, but relief and comfort returned to her somewhat when she recognized the familiar raven-haired figure sitting on the floor, covered in bandages. "Ash! Are you okay!" Iris cried as she came to Ash's side, ignoring the Pikachu sprawled across the floor next them as well as the Deino that stood nearby on the other side, feeling somewhat guilty about what just happened.

    "I'm alright, Iris," Ash said as he picked himself up from the ground, still wincing in pain from his presumed injuries.

    "You don't look alright to me," Iris said as she extended a hand towards Ash to help him get back onto his feet. "Let's try to get you inside the house so you can rest," she said as she helped Ash walk inside the house and towards the couch with Pikachu and Deino following them closely. As Ash and Iris slowly made their way to the couch, Iris's mom had begun to enter the room with a tray holding food and hot tea from the kitchen.

    "Okay, lunch is ready now. To be honest, I finished cooking the food about a half hour ago, but you looked so peaceful while you were asleep," Iris's mother said as she walked into the room with a cheery expression on her face; however, upon entering the room, Iris's mom stopped suddenly in her tracks when she noticed her daughter lowering Ash onto the couch. At first, she was shocked and was almost ready to drop everything in her hands so that she could rush towards Ash and get him away from her daughter, but once she noticed the bandages that covered him, her mind was put at ease and she began to speak again as she continued to her seat. "And who is this young man?" Iris's mother asked with a serious look on her face as she set the tray on the table and took her place at her own chair. Almost instantaneously, a distraught look came upon Iris's face after hearing her mother's question as if she already knew what was going to happen next. Feeling somewhat scared, Iris began to speak with a shaky voice.

    "W- Well, Umm…This is my friend, Ash Ketchum. You see, we've been traveling for a while wi-."

    "Traveling? Together? A while!" Iris's mother interrupted with a scowl on her face that easily scared both Ash and Iris. Even Pikachu and Deino, despite standing to the side of the couch and out of the way, were scared by her sudden reaction to what she heard her daughter say.

    "It's not what it sounds like, Mom. We've been traveling with another person as well for about just as long," Iris quickly responded, desperate to keep her mother from overreacting even more than she already had. To Iris's surprise, her mother had begun to calm down after hearing this news and her cheery expression began to slightly return to her face. As the tension in the air finally cleared, both Iris and her mother took their cups into their hands and began to drink their warm tea. As they drank their tea and as Pikachu and Deino walked to Ash's side, Iris's mom had decided to take the time to speak once again.

    "Well, at least you have someone else traveling with you as well that's taking care of you and making sure that you two do nothing…inappropriate," Iris's mom said with a straight face. Although Ash remained somewhat confused by what Iris's mom had suddenly said, his attention quickly turned towards Iris, who was suddenly choking as her face became flushed with red.

    "Iris! Are you okay!" Ash shouted as Pikachu climbed onto the couch, equally worried about Iris after her sudden reaction while Deino only turned and raised its head to find the source of the chaos.

    "Mom! How could you say something so embarrassing right in front of him like that!" Iris gasped, still struggling to breathe after her sudden episode.

    "Sorry Iris, but I'm just doing my job as a mother," Iris's mother said as she continued to drink her tea. "I just want to make sure that my daughter doesn't make the wrong decisions, especially when she's just starting her journey, when anything could happen."

    As soon as these words reached her ears, Iris's face began to glow a brighter shade of red. Obviously flustered by what her mother had said, Iris rose from her seat and rushed towards the back door located within the kitchen. "Iris! Wait!" Ash called as he rose from his seat, still cringing in pain from his injuries, and followed after Iris.

    "At least he doesn't seem like the type to take advantage of others," Iris's mother thought to herself as she began to notice both Pikachu and Deino, who came towards the kitchen entrance to see where the two trainers ran off to.

    ~*~

    After Ash made his way through the back door, he noticed Iris standing in the middle of a short, grassy field being comforted by the same small, red-eyed Pokémon that made its home within her hair. Slowly, but surely, Ash began to walk towards Iris as quietly as he can in an effort to keep himself from the disturbing the moment that she was sharing with her Axew; however, before he could even get close to them, they had already turned their heads and noticed him.

    "Why are you out here, Ash? Shouldn't you still be resting on the couch?" Iris asked as she turned the rest of her body towards Ash, who was quickly making his way towards Iris now that he was already spotted.

    "I know I'm injured, but I couldn't just sit around and do nothing when my friend is upset," Ash responded with concern showing in both his face and voice as he took a seat next to Iris. "Are you feeling alright now?"'

    "I'm alright; it's just…My mom can be so embarrassing sometimes and she always says the rudest things," Iris said, still feeling upset about what happened. "You wouldn't understand what it's like to have such an embarrassing mom around all the time."

    "Believe me; I understand better than you know," Ash said to Iris, who began to look at him with a confused look on her face. "My mom does pretty embarrassing things, too. Just between you and me, whenever I start to go out on a new journey, even if there was someone around, she would always ask if I had clean underwear with me." Iris face began to light up as she gave a small laugh along with her Axew after hearing this piece of news while Ash could only give a sheepish grin. After Iris and Axew stopped laughing, Ash continued from where he left off. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though she can be embarrassing, I know she only does these things because she cares about me and wants to make sure that I'm safe." For a moment, Iris could only sit and think about the surprisingly good advice that Ash had given her just now. For a moment, she looked down towards the grass and took a quick glance at her Axew, but after a few moments of thinking, Iris finally responded with a cheery look on her face once again.

    "Yeah, I guess you're right," Iris said as they both began to stand up.

    "I'm glad that you're feeling better," Ash said, feeling relieved that he didn't just make things worse, but suddenly, a new thought came to his mind. "Iris? Since we're already out here anyway, why don't we have a quick practice battle like we always do?" Iris was somewhat surprised by his suggestion, but quickly recovered once she remembered how much Ash liked to battle and how often they trained against each other during their journey.

    "Sure," Iris said as she began to walk away from Ash with her Axew to create enough space for their battle. "The same Ash as always," Iris thought to herself with a smirk as she walked farther away from the raven-haired boy.

    ~*~

    After walking a safe distance away from Ash, Iris began to pull a small, red and white sphere from her back pocket that quickly expanded to a larger size once she pressed the white button in the center of it. "Alright, Emolga! It's time for some training," Iris said as she threw the Poké Ball into the air. As the Poké Ball opened itself in the air, a bluish-white ray of light appeared from the spherical object and a small figure began to slowly form on the ground. As the concealing light disappeared, it revealed a figure that bore a look similar to Ash's Pikachu, but with a smaller frame. Outside of the yellow pouches on her cheeks that stored electricity and the yellow patagium that stretched between her stubby arms and feet, the front of her body remained covered in white fur. She had large, round ears that were decorated with yellow and white rings, but the outside of her ears was covered with black fur that also covered the back of her body down to the long tail that ended with a shape resembling lightning bolt as well as the outside of her face as if she was wearing a cape with a hood. After finally appearing from her Poké Ball, she began to make a cute pose towards Ash as if she was about to have her picture taken.

    "So Iris is using Emolga," Ash said to himself with a serious, but excited look on his face as he reached for one of his Poké Balls as well. "If that's the case, then Oshawott, I choose you!" Ash shouted as he threw his expanded Poké Ball into the air and released his Pokémon the same way as Iris did. As the same light faded from his Pokémon, it revealed a figure that was similar in size to Iris's Emolga. One of his most noticeable features was the large, brown nose that stood level with the eyes on his white, round, freckled face. He had a small, khaki-colored seashell that he wore on the center of his turquoise body, which managed to keep curves similar to those of a typical vase. Although it had a dark blue tail that looked similar to a fin as well as legs that were as dark blue and stubby as the horns on his head, he had no trouble moving quickly from one place to another, which was somewhat proven when he went towards Ash after he realized that he was fighting against Emolga.

    "Ash, why are you making me fight against Emolga?" Oshawott complained as he flailed his stubby, white arms towards Ash.

    "Don't worry, Oshawott. You have your scalchop, so you should be alright," Ash said in an attempt to cheer up Oshawott, who only gave a look of annoyance towards his trainer before speaking once again.

    "I know that, but that's not what I was talking about. You should know by now that I have a crush on Emolga, so why are you making me go against her?" Oshawott tried his hardest to convince his trainer to take him out of the battle, but he soon acknowledged that all of his arguing was futile once he remembered that humans can't understand the language of Pokémon under regular circumstances.

    "There's no need to worry, Oshawott, and even if you get in trouble, you still have a few tricks up your sleeve," Ash said to Oshawott. Oshawott was astounded by how dense his trainer was, but begrudgingly stepped away from Ash and readied itself for battle. "You make the first move, Iris," Ash told Iris with a determined look on his face.

    "Okay," Iris responded with a determined look of her own, but suddenly turned her head towards Emolga. "Alright Emolga, this is a practice match, so you can't switch out with Volt Switch," Iris said to her Emolga, who was somewhat annoyed by this extra rule, but still gave a cry of agreement. "Alright Emolga, use Discharge!" All of a sudden, energy began to surge through Emolga's body and a stream of wild electricity began to head towards Oshawott.

    "Oshawott, block Discharge with your scalchop," Ash ordered. Responding quickly to Ash's demand, Oshawott reached for the shell on its chest and raised it towards the attack heading towards him. The stream of lightning collided with the shell, but after a few seconds of resistance, the energy quickly dispersed and Oshawott remained unscathed along with his scalchop. Both Iris and Emolga were surprised that their fierce attack was blocked, but as they stood dumbfounded by what just happened, Ash did not hesitate and continued to call out his attacks. "Good job, Oshawott. Now, use Water Gun."

    "Emolga, jump into the air to dodge and counter with Hidden Power," Iris called, quickly recovering from her shock as a stream of water came from Oshawott's mouth and towards her Emolga. Emolga broke from its trance thanks to her Trainer's call and made a great leap into the air, narrowly escaping the small deluge of water that came towards her. As Emolga began to glide in the air, three green orbs began to form between Emolga's palms and were successively fired towards Oshawott.

    "Oshawott, spin and use Aqua Jet," Ash quickly responded, almost as if he was already prepared. Water quickly formed around Oshawott that soon surrounded his whole body. Very soon, consumed by the water summoned, he began to charge into the air towards Emolga's Hidden Power attack, leaving behind a stream of water that formed behind him. As Oshawott collided with Emolga's attack, the three green, glowing orbs were quickly repelled, but began to spin around the torrent of water and follow after Oshawott.

    "Emolga! You gotta dodge it!" Iris quickly shouted with panic in her eyes and a drop of sweat coming down the side of her face. Emolga barely managed to dodge the incoming Aqua Jet, but was soon struck by one of the glowing, green orbs that followed soon afterward. As Oshawott dispersed his own attack while in the air and Emolga began to spin towards the ground, Iris saw an opportunity to attack and called out her next order.

    "Emolga, use your spinning to your advantage and use Volt Switch." Emolga quickly recovered from the damage she took and began to spin faster as yellow ball of energy began to form in her hands. With the added speed of her rotation, Emolga fired the yellow orb at blinding speeds towards Oshawott, who was still stuck in the air. Upon noticing what Iris was planning, Ash's heart began to race.

    "Oshawott! Defend yourself with Razor Shell!" Ash shouted towards his Oshawott. Being slightly panicked by his trainer's sudden order and the rapidly approaching orb of energy, Oshawott reached for his scalchop and a bluish aura began to emanate from it and form a blade-like figure that soon collided with Emolga's Volt Switch. Both moves were intense in terms of power, but eventually, after clashing with each other, the yellow orb exploded, leaving behind a cloud of smoke. "Oshawott!" Ash cried with worry in his voice after the sudden explosion, but his fears were somewhat confirmed when he saw his Oshawott falling from the sky with his scalchop in hand. After both Emolga and Oshawott fell to the ground, their Trainers began to worry about the health of their Pokémon.

    "Can you still continue?" Both Trainers asked their Pokémon as they slowly rose from the ground and back onto their feet, reassuring their respective trainers that they can continue. Both trainers were relieved, but then a thought went through Iris's mind.

    "Hmm, that scalchop is going to be a real problem if this battle goes on any longer, and Emolga looks pretty tired, so let's try a new tactic." As this thought went through her mind, Ash had begun to speak.

    "Okay, Oshawott. It's starting to get down to the wire here, so let's end it with our new move," Ash declared as Oshawott came to his feet as well, ready to receive his trainer's next order. "Alright, Oshawott. Finish this with Ice Beam." Slightly hesitating after hearing his trainer's order, a small orb began to form around Oshawott's mouth and suddenly, an icy-cold beam of energy was shot towards Emolga.

    "Emolga! You have to dodge it!" Iris shouted, feeling slightly unnerved by the attack heading towards her Pokémon. Emolga had tried to get out of the way before she was struck, but was too heavily injured and exhausted to move quickly enough out of the way in time. Both Iris and Emolga began to think that was the battle was over, but by some saving grace, the Ice Beam began to veer off-course and whizzed by Emolga, barely missing her.

    "Oh man, the aim is still off," Ash said, suddenly distraught by what just happened. Oshawott began to worry as well about the results of his attack, but determination returned to both Iris and Emolga as they planned their next attack.

    "Alright Emolga, it's time for a counterattack, so immobilize him with Attract," Iris ordered with confidence in her voice once again. As Emolga winked, pink hearts began to form around Emolga and fly slowly towards Oshawott, who was suddenly feeling panicked by the attack suddenly heading towards him.

    "Oshawott, put your head back on and dodge it," Ash called, worried by what was about to happen. Oshawott tried it's hardest to move, but quickly fell to his knees from exhaustion. Soon, the hearts began to spin quickly around Oshawott, whose eyes were filled with nothing but fear right now, and converged all at once onto Oshawott. "Oshawott!" Ash cried, expecting something to happen soon, but after a long moment of waiting, he began to notice that something was wrong. "Nothing. Happened?" Ash said, completely confused by what happened, or rather, what didn't happen. Even Iris was confused by what just happened.

    "…Emolga, try using Attract again," Iris ordered again. At first, Emolga was confused by what happened as well, but responded to her trainer and launched the same attack again. Once again, the pink hearts converged all at once upon Oshawott, who was suddenly feeling utterly embarrassed right now, but once again, nothing happened. All of a sudden, both Iris and Emolga were completely dumbfounded by the discovery they just made.

    "Umm, I don't know how to say this, but for some reason, I think Emolga's Attract stopped working on Oshawott," Ash said, feeling a bit confused by what just happened.


    ~*~

    Dun! Dun! Duuuuuuuuuun! So how many of you were expecting that little twist? Really? Everyone?

    ...
    ...........
    .................................................. .......
    -_-

    Either way, I hope you all enjoyed the new chapter and leave your comments and praises behind.
    Last edited by PokeMaster366; 2nd June 2012 at 7:11 AM.

  11. #11
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    I thought it was a great chapter. I know how you feel, I was nervous when I first posted my battle scene. Hopefully, you'll get more confident over time as well as excited. I thought you did a great attempt because the battle had good descriptions and a nice atmosphere.


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  12. #12
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    Well, I finally finished the fifth chapter, but before I begin, I've been hearing a few comments from people, and I thought I should explain a few things for sake of convenience and warning.

    One, for those of you that don't really watch the actual anime that often or watch too many Pokemon movies, there is a language barrier that exists between humans and Pokemon. The Pokemon can understand the humans, but not the other way around; however, there are a few rare exceptions to this rule that I won't list.

    There is something else that I want to warn you all about. There have been a few comments from people, both in the form of PMs and reviews, of people asking me when the next chapter is coming out. Before you can even begin to think about flooding my box with comments, I'm letting you all know that I won't tolerate that sort of questioning or talk. I'm working on the story at my own pace and for my own enjoyment. If people start rushing me, the story will degrade in quality and may ultimately be cancelled. Anyone remember a flash animation called Super Mario Bros. Z? It was quite a good show created by AlvinEarthworm of DeviantArt. At first, he was making the story for fun and entertainment, but then it got too popular for its own good. So many people were entertained by the flash animation that a lot of them would constantly pester the creator about when the next episode will come out and rush him to finish the next chapter as quickly as possible. Eventually, after so many people demanded more and more from him and kept on trying to force their ideas and opinions, the creation of new episodes for the series became more of an unpaid chore to him than fun, and to my annoyance as well as everyone else's, AlvinEarthworm ultimately cancelled all work on the series. Let this be a warning to you all, both the offenders and the innocent: Do not try to make demands for me to work faster or use ideas and try to force them on me. It will only make things worse for everyone, especially those of you who offend.

    Anyway, enough of my depression-inducing warnings. Now let's enjoy a brand new chapter.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Chapter 5

    As both Ash and Iris continued to stare in confusion after witnessing Attract's failure to work against Oshawott, Emolga found herself becoming more and more flustered as time passed. Before long, Emolga began to speak.

    "How could this possibly happen? No matter what, Attract is always supposed to work when it makes direct contact so long as the victim is the opposite gender. There's no way that I performed the move incorrectly, and it even worked on Oshawott before, so why isn't it doing anything now?" As Emolga continued her rant, Oshawott began to distance himself from Emolga, fearing that he would only be in more danger if he stayed where he was now. After quickly making his way behind Ash in an attempt to protect himself, both trainers, after listening to Emolga's uninterpretable chirping began to acknowledge that it would be both dangerous and pointless to continue their battle with each other.

    "Ash! Both Emolga and Oshawott are looking pretty tired, so why don't we stop for now." Iris suggested as she took a glance at Emolga, who began to calm down slightly.

    "That sounds like a good idea," Ash responded as he gave a glance towards his Pokémon as well. "It looks like Oshawott still has a little ways to go before mastering Ice Beam," Ash said with a slight frown on his face.

    "At least Oshawott is doing much better compared to how he started," Iris said as she walked towards Ash with her Emolga.

    "True. At first, the attack was blowing up in Oshawott's face and freezing him instead, but thanks to some hard training and help from Georgia, he can actually hit his target now…sometimes," Ash said as he lowered himself to pat his Oshawott's head. "I really need to thank her later, but right now, there's something else I'm curious about. Why didn't Attract work on Oshawott earlier?" Ash asked, feeling somewhat puzzled.

    "Well, I have an idea, but I think it would be better if we talked about it inside," Iris said, sounding somewhat nervous in the process. "I think Oshawott and Emolga will want to hear this as well, so let's leave them out for now."

    "Okay," Ash said as he rose from his squatting position and walked towards the green-roofed house along with Iris, an embarrassed Oshawott, and a mildly annoyed Emolga.

    ~*~

    As the group opened the door leading back into the house they had entered before, they began to hear what sounded like giggling come from inside. At first, both the trainers and their Pokémon were puzzled by what they were hearing, but as they came into the living room, they saw something that left them surprised and somewhat disturbed. When they entered the room, the first thing that caught their attention was Iris's mother, who was lying on her back in the middle of the floor while the wooden table and chair stood near the staircase and out of the way. While she lay on the floor, she could be seen holding Deino above her face while Pikachu stood by her side, feeling somewhat entertained as well by what Iris's mom was doing.

    "Who's a brave and strong little dragon? You are, Deino." Iris's mother said as she continued to make silly faces along with Pikachu in front of Deino, who could help but smile and laugh. For a few moments, Ash and Iris, along with Emolga and Oshawott, were shocked to see Iris's mother acting so carefree and playful, but soon, Iris began to speak.

    "Right, I forgot that my mom likes to do this sort of thing with small Pokémon." Iris said as the group continued to watch her mother play with Deino and Pikachu.

    "Oh! Hello Iris," Iris's mother said after noticing her daughter. Soon after she spoke, a look of embarrassment and shock suddenly came across Deino's face as she turned her head to see Iris and friends as well. Knowing how Deino was feeling right now, Iris's mother decided to lay Deino beside her and rose to her feet. "I'm sorry, but you know how I get whenever I see small Pokémon, especially Deino."

    "I'm well aware of that, and so is Excadrill, but do you really have to do that when we have company?" Iris asked, feeling somewhat embarrassed as well.

    "I can't help it that I love playing with Pokémon so often, and it's very rare that I even get to see Deino, much less play with them." Iris's mother argued, feeling somewhat sad that she wasn't still playing with Deino and Pikachu right now.

    "You really like Deino that much?" Ash asked as Axew, curious about what was happening at the moment, climbed out of Iris's hair and landed near Oshawott and Emolga, who stood near their trainers as well.

    "Of course I do!" Iris's mother shouted. "Deino is my favorite Pokémon. Every once in a while, a Deino would wander into the village, and I would be so excited to see it, but recently, I haven't been able to see any at all. I wonder what happened to them." As this thought continued to haunt her mind, both Ash and Iris began to hear a knock coming from the front door.

    "I'll go get it," Iris said as she walked past her mother and towards the front door. As Iris went to answer the door, Ash, along with Axew, Emolga, and Oshawott, began to walk towards Iris's mother, who became more cheerful after noticing the three Pokémon at Ash's side. As Iris came closer to the door, with each passing step, she could hear the knocking get louder and faster. "Hold on! I'm coming!" Iris shouted, becoming more annoyed by the loud knocking. After slowly opening the door in front of her, a certain red-haired girl followed closely by a green-haired man came into Iris's view. It was Georgia and Cilan.

    "Finally! It took you long enough to answer the door." Georgia complained as she barged into Iris's home.

    "It's great to see you too, Georgia," Iris said, feeling exasperated as she watched Georgia walk towards the couch.

    "Why, hello Iris." Cilan said in a successful attempt to regain Iris's attention.

    "Oh! Hello Cilan. Come on in." Iris said as her attention shifted back to him. As Cilan came into the living room, he immediately noticed both Ash and Iris's mother sitting in the middle of the floor and playing with the Pokémon near them. While Ash could be seen trying to make funny faces along with his Pikachu towards Deino, who remained unfazed as she watched his endeavor, Cilan's attention was already geared towards Iris's mother, whom he saw holding Axew in the air as both Oshawott and Emolga stood nearby on her right side, waiting for their chance to play with her. As Georgia plopped into her seat on the couch, Iris's mother's attention soon shifted to Georgia and then to Cilan, and she began to speak.

    "Is this the friend that you were talking about and traveling with, Iris?" Iris's mother said as she continued to focus on Cilan with a smile on her face.

    "Yes. This is my friend, Cilan." Iris responded as she gestured toward Cilan.

    "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am." Cilan said upon hearing his name as he gave a quick bow.

    "Well, it's nice to know that such a nice gentleman is watching over my daughter," Iris's mother said before shifting her attention towards Georgia again. "But who is this girl over here on the couch? She has great taste in hats, but she's incredibly rude." Georgia could only give a slight blush of embarrassment as Ash turned his body around to answer the question for her.

    "That's Georgia, another one of our friends. She just started traveling with us recently."

    "I was going to answer the question myself," Georgia responded, shooting an annoyed look at Ash before noticing the bandages that covered his arms. "Ash, why are you covered in bandages?" Georgia asked Ash, who soon attracted the attention of everyone in the room.

    "Yeah, how did you get injured like that, Ash?" Iris chimed in. "Was Deino involved?" Upon hearing these questions, Ash took a long pause to turn his head and look back at Deino, who began to feel guilty again with every passing second that he spent staring at her. Ash soon broke his gaze and began to look down at the floor in disappointment.

    "I don't want to talk about it." Ash mumbled as Pikachu and Oshawott simply looked away from everybody.

    "It must've been pretty bad." Iris, Cilan, and Georgia thought as they continued to stare at Ash while Emolga gave a few glances towards Oshawott. Both Iris's mother and Axew became somewhat alarmed by the current atmosphere as they looked around the room to see everyone so sad. Before long, Iris's mother spoke once again.

    "H- Hey! You're all too young to get depressed this easily. Let's try to think about something else." She said in an attempt to cheer everyone up. Soon after Iris's mother uttered these words, a thought began to re-enter Ash's mind, and within a matter of seconds, his expression went from that of anxiety to one of curiosity.

    "Hey, Iris? Didn't you say that there was something you wanted to talk about?" Ash asked. "I think it was something relating to Oshawott and Emolga."

    "Right, I was going to tell you about it, but since everyone is here, I might as well tell everyone." Iris responded as she began to walk up the staircase.

    "Tell everyone about what?" Georgia asked as Iris walked up the stairs, feeling the need to get involved in the conversation as well.

    "Don't worry. You'll know in a minute." Iris said, making Georgia even more curious about what happened while she was gone.

    ~*~

    Mere minutes passed before the whole group, Pokémon included, sat together on top of an old, weathered, and circular rug in the center of the room. Much like the large, black and white yin-yang symbol that decorated the entire carpet, Iris, along with her friends, sat together in a circle, legs crossed, with a Pokémon in each of their laps. As Deino sat in Georgia's lap, she began to look from her left to her right, seeing Ash with Oshawott, Iris with Emolga, Cilan with Pikachu, and Iris's mother with Axew, respectively. As Deino continued to look around in amazement, Iris began to speak.

    "Sorry it took so long for me to get everything ready, but just so that there aren't any interruptions, let me explain something. Before I was even born, whenever someone in my family had a story to tell, we would always tell them and listen as we sat on this carpet, regardless of whether these stories were myth or reality. We would also use it as we shared new ideas and thoughts with one another. The carpet itself is over 5 centuries old, but throughout all of that time, my family would always use it as a way to communicate and bond with others."

    "Aww, I'm so glad that after all this time away from home, you still remembered." Iris's mother said with a warm smile after hearing her daughter's explanation.

    "Thank you, mom," Iris said with a slight blush before continuing. "But let's start before we get sidetracked. While both Cilan and Georgia were looking around the Dragon Village and while my mom was playing with Deino and Pikachu inside, Ash and I were having another one of our usual practice matches against each other outside. While Ash used Oshawott, I was using Emolga."

    "Typical." Georgia interjected before soon receiving a quick jab to her right arm from Iris's mother.

    "Don't interrupt." Iris's mother warned as Georgia took a moment to rub her arm to relieve the sting to it. Iris only gave a slight smirk before continuing.

    "During the heated battle, when both of our Pokémon were exhausted, Emolga used Attract, but even though it connected and Oshawott was the opposite gender, for some reason, Attract didn't work at all." Cilan, Georgia, and Iris's mother, along with Pikachu and Axew, were surprised to hear this news while Oshawott and Emolga could only look down as they blushed in embarrassment. As everyone else remained either shocked or embarrassed by what Iris had said, Deino could only give a large grin as she tried her best to keep from laughing.

    "Well, this is an unusual recipe," Cilan said to show his surprise. "Normally, Attract is supposed to make a Pokémon of the opposite gender become infatuated with the user, but why wouldn't it work on Oshawott?"

    "I have an idea, but it might be a little weird. I think the only reason why Emolga's Attract didn't work on Oshawott is because he was already infatuated with her." Iris said.

    "What do you mean by that?" Ash asked, slightly confused by what Iris had said. Iris could only give a sigh before enlightening him with her next few words.

    "You kid, what I'm trying to say is that Oshawott might have a crush on Emolga." Oshawott's face soon turned a deep red after hearing Iris's bold accusation.

    "Oshawott, do you really…" Ash thought as both he and Emolga looked at Oshawott, who only looked away to hide his face, crimson with embarrassment. For a moment, the room remained completely silent, but soon, it began to echo with the sound of Deino's laughter. With the exception of Cilan, everyone was both surprised and annoyed by Deino's sudden outburst. After the laughter died away, Cilan began to speak.

    "I'm sorry, but I have to agree with Deino on this one," Cilan said, feeling a bit skeptical about Iris's statement. "The idea of Attract failing because of something like that does sound pretty ridiculous. Have you even tried to have Emolga use Attract on another Pokémon?"

    "Hmm, now that I think about it, she didn't," Iris said before turning her attention back to the Emolga in her lap. "Emolga, try using Attract on Axew." After a moment of nervous hesitation, Emolga winked and hearts began to fly towards Axew, but for some reason, the hearts seemed much darker than they normally were. The floating hearts finally made contact with the Axew in the lap of his trainer's mother, but rather than becoming infatuated with Emolga, his eyes began to glow a brighter red and he suddenly became more violent and aggressive.

    "Axew! Calm down!" Iris's mother said as she struggled to keep Axew in her arms. Everyone in the room became alarmed by Axew's behavior and braced themselves, but almost instantly after their reaction, Axew finally calmed down. For a moment, after confirming that Axew went back to normal, the group slowly relaxed themselves. As Axew rested in the lap of Iris's mother, Iris began to speak once again.

    "Well this is just great. First, Attract refuses to work on Oshawott, but now it won't work properly on any Pokémon." Iris said as Emolga began to look down in sadness and disappointment.

    "Well, if what you said before is true, then Attract might have stopped working because of the shock of seeing a Pokémon of the opposite gender that was completely immune to it for the first time," Cilan stated. "I've never seen this happen before, but I have an idea of what could be done to help with this problem. Right now, Oshawott seems to be the source of this problem, so it might help if Emolga tries to socialize with Oshawott more. It won't work too well if either side backs down, so it would be best if both Oshawott and Emolga stay out of their Poké Balls for the next few days or so."

    "Do we really have to do this?" Both Emolga and Oshawott complained upon hearing Cilan's idea. No one but the Pokémon understood exactly what they both said due to the language barrier that existed between people and Pokémon, but this time around, the trainers at least had an idea of what the Pokémon were saying.

    "Now don't start complaining. This the only idea I have and it won't work unless you both cooperate." Cilan said. Both Emolga and Oshawott sat silently at first, but eventually nodded their heads reluctantly to show their approval.

    "Well, I'm glad to see that you all finally agreed on something." Georgia said as she watched both Emolga and Oshawott give a slight glance at each other before looking away with slight blushes on their faces.

    "I'm glad, too," Iris said, "But with one of Emolga's best moves out of commission right now, she's not going to be able to battle as well as she normally does. I was going to use her in the tournament, but since she can't battle right now, I think I'll use Excadrill instead." Upon hearing this, a look of sadness began to form on Axew's face as he began to look down at the floor.

    "What? You're using Excadrill again?" Georgia asked with a look of disappointment on her face.

    "Yes, I'm using E-." Iris said before quickly being cut off by her rival.

    "I heard what you said!"

    "Hey, there's no need to get so angry all of a sudden," Ash said, hoping to prevent an argument. "What's wrong with Iris using Excadrill?"

    "Oh, there's nothing wrong with her using Excadrill except for the fact that she always uses it," Georgia said as a serious look formed on Iris's face as well. Cilan and Iris's mother only watched in silence. "Have you noticed how much stronger Excadrill is when compared to Axew?"

    "That's a different story," Iris quickly responded. "Axew and I have our own pace of growth and I don't want Axew to over-exert himself when he's still so young. Don't you remember what the Old Matriarch said?" After hearing this question, Georgia had suddenly become silent, and for a moment, she averted her gaze away from Iris.

    "I know what the Old Matriarch said," Georgia said as she continued to stare at the ground towards Iris. After a short pause, she looked back at Iris, but to Iris's surprise, Georgia had a look of genuine concern on her face. "You're always saying how you dream of becoming a Dragon Master, but so far, all he knows is two weak moves and a third move that he can't even properly control yet. How can I possibly call you my rival when you only have one decently strong Pokémon and the rest are so weak?" At this point, Iris only wanted to yell at Georgia, but stopped herself when she thought about how right she was about everything she said. Iris became even more convinced when she thought about Axew's dream to evolve into a mighty Haxorus. Everyone else, especially Axew, could only stare at Georgia after hearing her say something so profound. After a long period of silence, Iris began to speak.

    "…I guess you have a point, and if that's how you feel, I'll enter Axew into the tournament." Both Ash and Cilan were surprised beyond comprehension by Iris's submission.

    "Iris! Are you sure about this?" Ash responded. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

    "No, Georgia's right," Iris said. "Lately, I haven't been training with Axew that often and he's really fallen behind. Even your Scraggy, despite being so much younger, has been making much more progress than Axew. I have to do this for Axew's sake as well as my own." Both Ash and Cilan remained silent after hearing Iris's confession as the room fell into a state of melancholy. Even Georgia couldn't help but be surprised and somewhat saddened by what her rival had said. Once again, Iris's mother sensed the depression in the room and spoke once again to clear it.

    "Well, it's about time for me to make dinner, so why don't you all go outside and do something."

    "Allow me to help with the cooking, ma'am. I'll go get things ready." Cilan said as he stood up and left the room, leaving Pikachu in the same spot that he was sitting.

    "And I guess we'll go out and do more training." Ash said as both he and Iris rose from their seats and made their way to the back door, followed closely by Oshawott, Emolga, Axew, and Deino. After everyone else but Iris's mother left, Georgia began to rise from her seat as well.

    "Well, I better go outside and train as well." Georgia said as she walked towards the door before being stopped by Iris's mother, who was still sitting in her same seat with her legs crossed.

    "Georgia?"

    "Yes?" Georgia responded.

    "You might act rude at first, but you actually care a lot for Iris's well-being. I'm so glad that my daughter has such a close friend watching over her as well."

    "Wh- Wh- What are you talking about? We're just rivals and nothing more." Georgia stammered after hearing what Iris's mother had just said. Georgia tried to turn around and walk out of the room, but before she could even take a single step, once again, she was stopped in her tracks by Iris's mother.

    "And Georgia…"

    "Y-Yes?" Georgia said, her back still turned to Iris's mother.

    "Can you please help me get back up? My legs seem to have fallen asleep." Georgia could only sigh before walking back to help the middle-aged woman get back up on her feet.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This concludes Chapter 5. Unfortunately, I'm going to be busy with some schoolwork, so the next chapter will show up later than usual. Now don't make that face. I already gave my warnings. If you ignored them, then I am ashamed.
    Last edited by PokeMaster366; 12th June 2012 at 4:23 AM.

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    I really liked this chapter! The only mistake I found was that you accidently said Langley instead of Georgia one time, but that's it.

    I thought it was finally about time for someone to tell Iris how much she over uses her Excadrill. It was also the perfect moment to include some character development, so I liked that. I found the ending pretty funny. xD It was random, yet it seemed to fit. Iris' mom seems sort of weird at times. xD

    Well, keep up the great the great work.


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    Quote Originally Posted by watericedragon View Post
    I really liked this chapter! The only mistake I found was that you accidently said Langley instead of Georgia one time, but that's it.

    I thought it was finally about time for someone to tell Iris how much she over uses her Excadrill. It was also the perfect moment to include some character development, so I liked that. I found the ending pretty funny. xD It was random, yet it seemed to fit. Iris' mom seems sort of weird at times. xD

    Well, keep up the great the great work.
    I did call her Langley once, didn't I. Darn you, inclination for the Japanese version for the anime. I thought it was nice to give Georgia some character development as well (or was it more than her or someone else). Iris's mother does seem weird, doesn't she. Some people can say that a person's favorite pokemon (ignoring metagame thinking process) can tell a lot about someone's personality, and Iris's mom does like pokemon of the Deino evolutionary line, so that might be something to look forward to learning more about.

    I like watching Sikowitz from "Victorious".

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    I liked it as well. At first I thought the reason that attract didn't work was because they were both the same gender, but I looked it up and saw that I was wrong. So it's good a mystery. I also thought it left room open for some great character development in the future.

    One thing I weren't too sure about was if it should be Iris's or Iris' because when I was at school, the English teachers told us that if a word ends with s the apostrophe goes at the end without the other another s. Iris' seems okay, but Iris's seems more natural. But I've seen the debate for both and it seems to work both ways. Grammar's not my strong point anways.

    "H- Hey! You're all too young to get depressed this easily. Let's try to think about something else." She said in an attempt to cheer everyone up.
    Aww bless her. I love Iris.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 13th June 2012 at 3:10 PM.


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    Finally got around to finishing! Woot woot! hahha

    Anyways. I'll start with my thoughts on the battle. Now, I've read quite a bit of fanfiction in my time, and I'll admit that while this may not be the most mindblowing battle scene, it was definitely a good one. Very natural, and flowy, especially for a first time battle scene. I give it a 7!

    Ok, so. There's a lot of content to cover, so I'll generalize. While the story line is good, there is a little problem with execution.

    First of all, I do think you have some really good writing skills. I would like to clarify that first and foremost, before I go off into my tangent. You show a lot of promise and potential with your writing, and I only see it getting better.

    So from there, I'm going to be honest; characterization is a little off. Sometimes, the characters go out of characters; in the mannerisms, in the way they talk or things they say. Next time you watch an episode of the anime (and even go back and pay close attention to how they act or talk). It's not the worst, no worries. It's just a little difficult,since I actively follow the anime and I know how the characters are.

    And my second big problem is that you sometimes over describe. It's not bad to describe things, it's actually better, but sometimes your descriptions are in the wrong place. I want to see the characters, the surroundings, the important actions and movements. Things that either provide a better visual or further the story in some way. However, sometimes small, unimportant movements are the ones you focus on.

    I believe this is called flowery descriptions. Something of the sort. Instead of saying "she saw what he did." you say "the action that he did reached her eyes." While it's nice to know that you are trying to go above the basic, descriptions like this are for the most part unneeded, and sometimes can be confusing. I've had to go back and reread a paragraph because I wasn't sure if I read it right. It would be worded in a confusing way. Remember, sometimes, less is more.

    Other than that, I will continue with this story. It is interesting, one of the better anime-based fics I've read.(:

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    Quote Originally Posted by jstinftw! View Post
    Finally got around to finishing! Woot woot! hahha

    Anyways. I'll start with my thoughts on the battle. Now, I've read quite a bit of fanfiction in my time, and I'll admit that while this may not be the most mindblowing battle scene, it was definitely a good one. Very natural, and flowy, especially for a first time battle scene. I give it a 7!

    Well, it's only a practice match and I didn't want to try going too overboard at the beginning. I hope you mean 7 out of 10.

    Ok, so. There's a lot of content to cover, so I'll generalize. While the story line is good, there is a little problem with execution.

    As expected, nothing is perfect.

    First of all, I do think you have some really good writing skills. I would like to clarify that first and foremost, before I go off into my tangent. You show a lot of promise and potential with your writing, and I only see it getting better.

    Aww, you're making me blush, but let's try not to sugarcoat things and leave praises at the end of all commentary. We wouldn't any person's head to be swelled so much at the start that they can't hear your criticisms afterward.

    So from there, I'm going to be honest; characterization is a little off. Sometimes, the characters go out of characters; in the mannerisms, in the way they talk or things they say. Next time you watch an episode of the anime (and even go back and pay close attention to how they act or talk). It's not the worst, no worries. It's just a little difficult,since I actively follow the anime and I know how the characters are.

    Can you please elaborate on that? I don't know which characters are the biggest victims of OoC and how they are becoming OoC.

    And my second big problem is that you sometimes over describe. It's not bad to describe things, it's actually better, but sometimes your descriptions are in the wrong place. I want to see the characters, the surroundings, the important actions and movements. Things that either provide a better visual or further the story in some way. However, sometimes small, unimportant movements are the ones you focus on.

    I believe this is called flowery descriptions. Something of the sort. Instead of saying "she saw what he did." you say "the action that he did reached her eyes." While it's nice to know that you are trying to go above the basic, descriptions like this are for the most part unneeded, and sometimes can be confusing. I've had to go back and reread a paragraph because I wasn't sure if I read it right. It would be worded in a confusing way. Remember, sometimes, less is more.

    So you're saying that my descriptions are being a bit too flashy and often in the wrong spots? Okay, I won't deny that my descriptions often tend to be a bit over-the-top.

    Other than that, I will continue with this story. It is interesting, one of the better anime-based fics I've read.(:
    Comments are in bold and I'm glad that you could give your critique. Personally, I think that the most important things that a story should have our consistency and mystery. It always helps the overall plot and story if the events can stay linked and fluid in transition with an occasional curveball thrown in just to keep the audience thinking about what is going to happen next (It would be boring if the audience could figure out everything before even moving on to the next part). One of the only problems with the Pokemon anime is that it lacks a proper story with a continuous flow (Basically too many fillers and not enough episodes where the characters and episodes show some actual character development). If the writers could take more episodes to give the characters more developed personalities and to develop a conflict that can help drive the story as well as the protagonists, they could reduce the amount of Deus Ex Machinas while also creating a story that people will watch to the end, if only to satisfy their curiousity about what happened at the end of it all.

    That's my spiel, and I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far.

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    I'm sorry that I've been away for so long, but now that I'm back, let's get this new chapter started. Feeling the need for a new perspective, today's new chapter focuses more on the Pokemon themselves instead of the trainers. I hope you all enjoy it and let's pray that I can keep the good chapters coming while I'm on vacation.

    Chapter 6

    While Georgia was still inside helping Iris’s mom, both Ash and Iris were out in the grassy field behind the green-roofed house once again, continuing their training from where they left off. Feeling the need to do last-minute preparations, Iris had decided to use Axew, who was already locked in battle against the short, snake-like Pokémon named Snivy that stood opposite of him and in front of Ash. As both Pokémon’s moves clashed with one another, both Oshawott, who couldn’t help but feel nervous right now, and a certain pouty Emolga could be seen sitting together, watching the battle from a safe distance along with Pikachu and Deino, who sat nearby.

    “I can’t believe that they’re making me do something so ridiculous.” Emolga muttered, still wearing her pouty expression. Hearing her complaints, Both Pikachu and Oshawott averted their attention from the battle and towards Emolga.

    “Well, it was the best that our trainers and Cilan could come up with, so why don’t we try to make the most out of it for now?” Pikachu suggested in an attempt to lighten the mood.

    “That’s easy for you to say,” Emolga commented. “It’s not like you have to worry about losing your best move forever this time.”

    “Believe me when I say that I didn’t want things to go this way either,” Oshawott responded with a slight frown as he continued to look at Emolga. “I still wanted it to happen, though, just not this way.”

    “Let’s just get this over with,” Emolga sighed under her breath before turning her head towards Oshawott to speak. “So, what do you want to talk about?” Oshawott thought deeply for a moment about what she had just asked, but soon gave a nervous laugh before finally answering.

    “To be honest, I didn’t think that we would be doing this so soon, so I never gave it much thought,” Oshawott said with a sheepish grin. Emolga could only give him a look of disappointment before he glanced back at the battle, desperate to find a way to keep the tension from getting any worse. An idea soon reached him when he noticed the flurry of leaves that was summoned by Snivy collided with the stream of blue fire that rushed out of Axew’s gaping mouth. “But, there is something that’s been bothering me for a while now. Why do you hate Snivy so much?” Upon hearing this question, Deino’s attention slowly shifted away from the battle in front of her and towards Oshawott and Emolga, who remained unaware of her eavesdropping. Curious about what they were talking about, Deino continued to listen.

    “Isn’t there anything else that you want to talk about?” Emolga groaned.

    “I can’t really think of anything else to talk about right now. We might as well start with this.” Oshawott responded.

    “Fine,” Emolga said reluctantly after a short pause. “It’s not like I have anything personal against her, but she reminds me so much of my older sister that I just can’t help myself.”

    “You have a sister?!” Oshawott said with a look of surprise. Pikachu only continued to listen in silence as the conversation continued, making sure not to get caught.

    “I do,” Emolga said, irritation showing more on her face as she continued. “And you wouldn’t believe how hard it was to deal with her arrogant attitude. My sister would always make me battle, even when I didn’t want to, and would always say that her excuse for doing this was because I had more ‘potential’, but I didn’t really care about battles. All I wanted to do was relax in the forest and eat apples.”

    “Oh,” Oshawott said after hearing her explanation, but instantly, another thought came into his head. “Wait a minute. Is that why you joined Iris in the first place?”

    “I guess you can say that,” Emolga said with a sheepish grin that mimicked Oshawott’s previous expression. “But I guess after being around her for so long, it’s not so bad anymore. I still don’t like to battle that often, but it’s nice to hear the praise that comes afterward.”

    “It sounds like you really like the positive attention.” Oshawott said with a warm smile.

    “I guess I do,” Emolga responded with a warm smile as well. For a moment, there was an awkward silence between the two as they continued to stare at each other, but the silence was quickly broken when they heard a familiar voice that shocked both of them.

    “It sounds like you’re both having fun here.” They heard before turning their heads to see the same snake-like Pokémon that had been battling before. She had green skin that covered almost the entire upper part of her body while her bottom half was a sort of cream color. Although both her arms and legs were stubby like Oshawott’s, her nose was long and pointy, just like the two structures that stretched and curved from her shoulders, giving the impression that she was wearing a collar. She also had a thin, yellow stripe that stretched down her back and stopped at the base of the maple leaf-shaped edge of her tail and large, brown eyes that were partially covered by her yellow eyelids.

    “Wh- What are you doing here, Snivy?!” Emolga said, still startled by Snivy’s sudden interjection.

    “Taking a break from battling,” Snivy replied coolly. “Right now, Ash is battling Georgia with another Pokémon while your trainer, Iris, went inside with Axew to help her mother with dinner, but you probably didn’t notice because of your conversation. What were you two talking about anyway?”

    “Nothing that you need to know about.” Emolga coldly responded.

    “Oh really? You don’t seem to mind that this kid is listening to your conversation.” Snivy quickly retorted as she gave a glance towards Deino. Feeling a bit puzzled at first by what Snivy had said, both Oshawott and Emolga looked to their left and noticed Deino, still looking towards them.

    “You were eavesdropping on us?!” Oshawott demanded angrily.

    “No,” Deino quickly lied. “I was just uh…Err…Okay, you caught me. I was eavesdropping.” Emolga and Oshawott could only give Deino a look of annoyance before Snivy asked another question.

    “Why are you still here anyway? Didn’t Nurse Joy already say that you were at full health?”

    “She did,” Deino responded. “But it’s so lush, green, and exciting here compared to where I normally live. Why would I leave this place now when I just got here? Besides, I don’t want to risk running into that nasty Deino hunter again.”

    “Deino hunter?” The rest of the Pokémon gasped with puzzled looks on their faces, but before either one could ask any more questions, they suddenly heard someone’s voice calling from the house nearby that grasped everyone’s attention. It was Iris’s mother.

    “Ash! Georgia! Dinner is almost ready, so it’s time to come in!” Iris’s mother shouted before returning back inside. All three soon forgot about what they were asking earlier and decided to walk back inside with the rest of their large group. As they made their way back to the house, a long vine rose from behind Snivy’s right shoulder and pulled Pikachu towards her, remaining unnoticed by the people and Pokémon around her. At first, Pikachu was surprised, but his composure quickly returned when he realized who the vine came from.

    “So, do you mind telling me what’s going on between those two?” Snivy asked with her casual smile.

    “It’s just something that both Ash and Iris are forcing Oshawott and Emolga to do to solve another random problem. It’s nothing you really need to worry about too much.” Pikachu quickly answered.

    “That’s not what I was talking about,” Snivy corrected. “I already heard about what’s going on between Oshawott and Emolga from my Poké Ball. I was asking about what’s happening between Ash and Iris. Ash didn’t seem as hyped up as he normally is during training.”

    “Oh,” Pikachu said, becoming a bit more nervous as Snivy continued to stare at him. “I honestly can’t tell how things will go. Ash seems to have feelings for Iris, but you know as well as I do about how clueless he is about romance. I think the issue with Oshawott and Emolga might actually help him figure out what romance and love are, but I still don’t know.”

    “Well, whatever is happening between them, I hope it gets resolved soon,” Snivy said with a look of concern on her face. “It’s already exhausting enough when I have to stay up all night to help with Axew’s training, and I’m worried that he’s going about all this the wrong way.”

    “I know that the night training is making you tired, but Axew chose to do this by himself, and it’s our responsibility to help in whatever way we can,” Pikachu said before giving Snivy a re-assuring smile and giving a quick pat on her shoulder. “Don’t worry; it’ll be over soon enough, and once again, thank you for helping him.”

    “For everyone’s sake, I hope it does end soon before he gets hurt.” Snivy said as they finally entered the house.

    ~*~

    After nearly half an hour of eating, the group was, once again, relaxing in Iris’s home. As the sun began its descent and crept behind the trees outside, both and Cilan and Iris made their way upstairs to prepare for the night ahead while Ash, along with the Pokémon and Georgia, stayed behind in the kitchen to help Iris’s mother to clean up the remains of their hearty meal. Still in the kitchen, Axew finished what remained of his food and began to follow her into the living room. By the time he made it to the couch, he was instantly noticed and stopped by Iris before he could move any farther. At first, Axew was puzzled when he was stopped by his trainer, but before even more questions came into his head, Iris spoke.

    “Axew, I’m going upstairs with Cilan to get ready for bed, so why don’t you stay downstairs for now and get to know our new friend.” Iris said before disappearing from Axew’s sight.

    New friend?” Axew thought to himself for a moment before the answer came to him. “Oh! Does she mea-

    “Hello, Axew!” Deino shouted from directly behind Axew, easily startling him and breaking his train of thought. Still feeling frightened and clutching his chest in a futile attempt to stop his heart from racing, Axew slowly turned around to see the grinning Deino behind him.

    “What was that for?!” Axew gasped out, still holding onto his chest.

    “I got bored in the kitchen and I noticed you leaving, so I thought I would have a little fun with you.” Deino answered as she continued to smile.

    “Well, can you please not do that?!” Axew barked as he began to calm down and move his hands away from his aching chest. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

    “Okay, okay.” Deino responded. “I was just trying to have a bit of fun. How about I make it up to you right now?”

    “And how do you plan on doing that?” Axew asked with a skeptical tone. Upon hearing this question, Deino began to look around the room and back at the entrance into the kitchen. Once she confirmed that no one but herself and Axew were around, she quickly jumped onto the right side of the couch and sat down on the soft cushion she was on. For a moment, she sat silently in her seat, but she quickly broke that silence when she noticed Axew staring at her in the same spot that he was standing in. “What are you waiting for? Come up here.” Deino ordered.

    “Oh!” Axew said before climbing up to the couch. At this point, Snivy had begun to enter the room to see how Axew and Deino were doing, but with Deino’s back turned towards her and Axew more focused on Deino, Snivy went unnoticed. Once Axew climbed into the cushion next to Deino and sat down, Deino began to speak.

    “Okay, right now, I’m going to tell you a story that my parents have told me numerous times. They told me not to tell any other Pokémon about this, but you seem pretty nice, so I’ll tell you.”

    What are they talking about over there?” Snivy thought to herself as she continued to stand at the kitchen entrance and listen to Deino.

    “Deep in the heart of the Unova region, there exists a sacred place that very few know about, much less even access.”

    “Are you talking about that island in the center of the Unova region? If it is, then everyone already knows about that.” Axew interrupted, feeling somewhat disappointed.

    “That’s not the exact place that I’m talking about,” Deino quickly responded, making Axew even more curious. “If you go deep enough into the island, you can find a special forest that feels much different than any other forest that you or any other person has ever seen before. According to what my parents told me, this forest acts a link to a very special place known as the Dream World.” As soon as she heard Deino finish this sentence, Snivy’s interest in the story spiked dramatically and she became a little nervous, a feeling that she had not experienced for a while.

    “Wow!” Axew said for lack of a better word to describe how enthralled he was by Deino’s story.

    “Don’t get excited yet; I haven’t even gotten to the good parts.” Deino said, getting a bit excited by the story as well, but still keeping her composure. “From what I heard, the Dream World itself is a peaceful place that’s abundant with life, and the dirt there is so fertile that even the weakest sapling can grow into a bountiful harvest within a matter of days.”

    Where did she learn all of this from?” Snivy thought to herself as she continued to listen, becoming more nervous as the story went on.

    “That’s so cool.” Axew said as his eyes began to shine widen with interest. “Is there anything else about the Dream World that you can tell me about?”

    “Well, there is one other thing,” Deino said before moving her face to the right to hide it from Axew. “But this last thing is so mind-blowing that it isn’t something that I can tell just anyone.”

    “Aw, c’mon! I can keep it a secret! I promise!” Axew groaned as his curiosity peaked.

    “Do you really mean it?” Deino said as she tried as hard as she can to hide the smirk on her face.

    “I mean it! I mean it!” Axew shouted, desperate to hear more of the story.

    “…Okay, I’ll tell you, but only because you’re so cute when you’re desperate like that,” Deino said, making Axew blush a little bit before she turned her head back towards him and continued. “Even I didn’t believe it at first when I was told about it, but based on what I heard, the Pokémon in the Dream World can not only travel from there to this world and live here, but almost all of them are not only ultra-powerful, but also have special abilities that no other Pokémon in this world can get.” Axew could only stay silent in awe after hearing this last bit of information, but at this point, Snivy was, simply put, a nervous wreck. Already, she could feel her thoughts racing with her heart as she attempted to rationalize everything that she had just heard Deino say.

    Okay, so they know about the Dream World and they know about the Pokémon there with rare abilities, but they’re just kids. No one would really believe them even if they told them about it; besides, it’s alright regardless so long as they don’t know tha-“ Snivy thought to herself in order to calm herself down, but her efforts to do this were quickly derailed when she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Who’s there?!” Snivy shouted as she quickly turned around to see Pikachu once again.

    “Calm down, Snivy. It’s just me,” Pikachu said. “Are you feeling alright?”

    “Of course I’m alright,” Snivy answered, trying to sound as calm and composed as possible, but with little luck. “Why are you over here anyway?” After taking a moment to thoroughly examine her, Pikachu began to speak once again.

    “Well, I was going to tell that we were going to do the training again tonight when everyone is asleep, but right now, you don’t seem to be in good enough shape to do anything tonight.”

    “Yeah,” Snivy agreed, her usual demeanor coming back to her. “I guess all of those late nights are really starting to catch up to me.”

    “Well, I’ll just go tell Axew later that we’re cancelling the training for tonight. You just focus on getting a good night’s sleep tonight.” Pikachu said to Snivy before Georgia passed them with her backpack in tow. As Georgia walked past the couch where Deino and Axew sat and towards the door, Iris began to walk down the stairs wearing a pink T-shirt and magenta shorts as pajamas. As she walked down the stairs, she took notice of Georgia twisting the knob on the door in front of her and began to speak.

    “Where are you going?” Iris asked as continued down the stairs, getting the attention of the Pokémon that were in the room with her.

    “Isn’t it obvious?” Georgia asked as she turned around to look at Iris. “I’m going back to the Pokémon Center to get ready for bed.”

    “If that’s the case, why don’t you just spend the night here and save yourself the trip?” Iris asked.

    “And sleep under the same roof as my rival’s house?!” Georgia snapped in the usual snarky tone she used towards Iris. “I may be willing enough to travel with you to the village, but I have to draw the line somewhere.”

    “…Fair enough.” Iris agreed with a reluctant smile as Georgia began to open the door and leave, but before Iris could come from behind her and close the door, Georgia spoke once more.

    “Don’t feel too bad, Iris. You’ll be able to see me again at the tournament tomorrow while you watch me win the whole thing from the sidelines. Bye.” Georgia said with a confident smile before Iris slammed the door on her in annoyance.

    “Ugh! She can be so frustrating at times!” Iris fumed. Her demeanor slowly changed when she noticed Deino and Axew together as well as Pikachu and Snivy, who quickly left before Iris could expose them to the two dragons. “It seems like you both enjoyed each other’s company. Did anything special happen while I was gone?” She asked with a quick smile, snapping Axew out of his trance and making him turn around to see his wild-haired trainer.

    “No, nothing special happened.” Axew said with a large grin on his face as he shook his face. Deino only sat silently with a warm smile as she watched her new friend embarrass himself.

    ~*~

    And this marks the end of the chapter. I really hope that I didn't spoil you all too much. In the next chapter, I plan on introducing a new character, and possibly an old character from an earlier BW episode. No, the old character is NOT going to be another member of the main cast. Feel free to leave your reviews and predictions, and don't forget to tell your friends about this story.
    Last edited by PokeMaster366; 23rd July 2012 at 3:34 AM.

  19. #19
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    Very good! Cant wait for Chapter 7!
    Pokemon ~ Forever

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    Black 2 - Soon!
    White 2 - Soon!

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    Heyo!

    Ok, so I think you've started getting the characterization back in place. I didn't really notice anyone acting too out of it, although we'll see when we start getting more characters out again.

    It was a good chapter, but there was one part that really put me off; the part where they're talking about the Dream World. First thing is that they called it the Dream World. The Dream World is the manmade name of it, something Fennel coined. For the Pokemon to call it that is a bit weird, especially since humans call it that as well, so that would imply that a Pokemon told humans the name, which thus bring the question of how did the Pokemon tell humans? Cos the coincidence is pretty big. And when you think of intelligent 'animals' naming things, Dream World isn't exactly a name they would typical give. Maybe Land of Dreams, or the Island of Dreams, but Dream World is something more manmade.

    The second part the threw me off was the fact that Snivy was freaking out so much over it. I really don't understand why she was freaking out so much over it. I understand that one could freak out over it, but the reason she freaked out was never mentioned, never elaborated on, and thus, seemed a bit forced. Like someone freaking out over something small, for no reason other than to freak out.

    But that's my two cents. The rest of it was pretty good. (:

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    I liked the new chapter. It does make me wonder which chapters will be showing up in the next chapter. I'm guessing it may be one of the old rivals since you said it wasn't from the main cast. Including Dream World into the fic sounds really interesting, I would like to see how it develops further into the story.


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    Why you know tell me you put this up on Serebii?! Although I've already reviewed each chapter on Fanfiction.Net, I realized there was a small flaw I forgot to point out. Length. The chapters seem to me all a little short. But it's a good story, with good quality, and they say quality counts more the quantity, so I'll just leave it alone. Alert me when the next chapter is up on FF.N.

        Spoiler:- Some Things:

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moonlight Absol View Post
    Why you know tell me you put this up on Serebii?! Although I've already reviewed each chapter on Fanfiction.Net, I realized there was a small flaw I forgot to point out. Length. The chapters seem to me all a little short. But it's a good story, with good quality, and they say quality counts more the quantity, so I'll just leave it alone. Alert me when the next chapter is up on FF.N.
    In order to preserve quality of the story and to accomodate those with weak attention-spans such as yours truly at times, I always put a word limit on myself. I take it that you've noticed that up until now, I've never made any chapters with more than 6,000 words.

    So...For anyone who reads this post, what's your favorite part of the story so far?

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by PokeMaster366 View Post
    In order to preserve quality of the story and to accomodate those with weak attention-spans such as yours truly at times, I always put a word limit on myself. I take it that you've noticed that up until now, I've never made any chapters with more than 6,000 words.

    So...For anyone who reads this post, what's your favorite part of the story so far?
    I see. I myself just aim for 5-6 or more pages.

    As for your question, I don't really have one yet. It's just the overall story for now, until things heat up .

        Spoiler:- Some Things:

  25. #25
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    This is really good. I don't want to wait for more. .-.

    Your writing is excellent, and the amount of details you give is great. There are a few things with too much detail, but I feel like it immerses you into the story even more.

    As for my favorite part, I'd say it's the fact you included the Pokčmons conversations. The fact you've added in a side love story with Oshawatt and Emolga only makes it better.

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