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Thread: The Legend of Regius

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    Default The Legend of Regius



    Rating: PG-13

    Hello, faithful readers. This is my second attempt at a pokemon fic and my third fic in total. I haven't finished any of my previous fics but I'm hoping this one will be different. I've matured considerably since my last fic and I've learned a lot about writing, so I think I can make this better quality than my previous works. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

    Keep in mind that while I'll be posting all the chapters as I make them, this is a work in progress until I deem it complete so it's very likely that I'll go back and make minor edits to some of the chapters. If I do anything major, I'll let you know.

    Another thing: I'm still not finished with Supernova, and I may continue working on it. If so, then the chapters for this fic may not be updated on a consistent basis. So that you don't get bored waiting for chapters, you might want to follow Supernova as well for maximum entertainment value.

    Note: Any similarities to other fics found in this story are purely coincidental unless stated otherwise.

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    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter I: Walter

    Author’s Note: This journal recounts my experiences in my travels. It is written in the form of a novel so as to create the best and most vivid recreation of the events that took place. In writing it, I saw to it that nothing was fabricated. All events are exactly as they were carried out on the days of my journey (at least, to the best of my memory). Once I am dead and gone like so many other unsung heroes, this journal will be all that keeps the story of that journey alive.

    ~~~

    These days, I grow older and wearier by the minute. The life of adventure is no longer suited to me, I’m afraid. Even in my later years, however, I went off on life-changing journeys, and these fond memories are the only things I can cling to now. I oftentimes debate with myself over which of my many adventures of the past was my favorite and most memorable. One of them was the time when the man by the name of Gonzalo sent me on a journey to the remote island of Regius, where I completed a quest hundreds of years in the making.

    I remember that day vividly. As it always was during the evening hours, the Atlantic Ocean seemed to glow a radiant orange to nearly match the sky above. The perfectly flat surface of the water off in the distance met seamlessly with the sky at the horizon. The brilliant golden sun masked itself behind a thick cloud, casting glowing light across the sky like a massive lampshade. Shallow waves lapped up against the sand which met with the serene ocean a dizzying height below the cliff face which I bravely hung my legs over. Swinging my feet into the abundantly open space below, I adjusted my hat and mused upon how everything in the world- the ocean, the sky, the beach, the cliff face- are all connected one way or another. Beyond the ocean, everything connects with everything else there, and even all the way back here on the little island I call home.

    Of course, nobody else thinks of this island as a small one. Hoenn, as it turns out, spans a relatively far distance despite being an ordinary volcanic island not connected to any major land masses. But to each his own, as I always say.

    I could feel my skin tingle underneath my sport coat. To the side, my friend dozed off, curled up into a neat little ball of bristling blue fur. Waiting here on the promenade likely bored him, despite the magnificent view of the evening sunset. He shivered contentedly in his sleep, causing more small sparks to dance from his skin and tickle my side. Manectric was his name, as well as the name of his species. A bright blue coat which mingled with striking yellow details gave him a whimsical appearance in contrast to all the great beauty around me, but I found beauty in him nonetheless. His canine build and feral appearance coupled with his striking coloration made him seem like something new to this world. Paws twitched as he slept peacefully, claws scraping at the air. Sparks flurried down his fur like sprinkles on a birthday cake. His fiery, expressive eyes were shut tight and hidden from sight while he sat there and dreamed of whatever Pokémon dream about.

    Some light footsteps sounded behind me, accompanied by the clinking of metal. I didn’t turn around and instead continued to stare at the horizon. The steps grew close and finally stopped behind me.

    Seńor Edington, I presume? Walter Edington?”

    Upon hearing the voice, I slowly but deliberately turned around and looked up at the man towering above me. He glared at me, scrutinizing my features carefully. He was slightly dark-skinned, which, along with the clear Spanish accent, implied that he was foreign.

    I stood up, careful not to awaken Manectric by my side. I soon realized that this man was a few inches shorter than me and I made an effort to stand up straight. “That is correct,” I replied. “And you are Gonzalo, correct?”

    The man smiled thinly. “You got my letter, then.”

    I quickly stuck a hand in my coat pocket and pulled out a carefully folded piece of paper. I unfolded it and displayed the handwritten note to him. Gonzalo smiled once again. “So you did.” Gonzalo put a hand up to his face and stroked his thin black mustache. “So you understand why I’m here.”

    “I certainly do,” I said with dignity in my voice. This man, named Gonzalo according to his letter, was clearly Spanish. The ornate clothing he wore likely indicated that he was a sailor, too. His long naval jacket would have billowed in the wind behind him, had it not been weighed down by the gold he wore all over parts of his body. The sheath of a sword, plated with gold, hung by his side while gold chains spilled out of some of his pockets.

    “The way I understand it,” I continued as I read the note, “you’ve located an island far from the shore of Lilycove that is uncharted on most maps. You want me to go investigate the island for any kind of archeological remains. This is all correct?”

    Gonzalo looked pensive for a moment. “Yes, that is basically my request. You see, I recently came across this island on my way from Spain. The curious thing is that this island wasn’t charted on any of my maps of the area. I’m afraid I wasn’t able to explore the island, seeing as my crew and I are currently on a time-sensitive mission for his highness, el Rey. However, a map of the area came into my possession while we were docked here in Lilycove.”

    Gonzalo put his hand into one of his deep coat pockets, reached past the collections of gold chains, and procured a weathered old piece of paper, rolled up into a tube. Gonzalo unrolled it and offered it to me, so I grabbed it and analyzed it. The island depicted on the map was relatively nondescript, shaped somewhat like a teardrop. Likely a volcanic island which formed recently in comparison to large islands like Hoenn. Various terrains of the island were drawn on, showing the areas where forests, beaches, and rocky terrain lay.

    One notable thing about the map was that it contained no writing on it whatsoever, not even a compass rose. The only text on it was scribbled in messy handwriting at the top, above the island. It read:

    "το βασιλικό"

    “We can only assume that these characters at the top of the page are the name of the island, in whatever language the cartographer spoke,” explained Gonzalo.

    I wasn’t content at that time with the explanation that Gonzalo gave me. So he’s on a mission for the Spanish king. This man is in direct contact with the king and he’s apparently filthy rich, so why in the world is he hiring me instead of some professional archeologist? I asked him this.

    “Because, seńor Edington,” he said with a noticeably cool demeanor, “believe it or not, a man even of my status has heard of your adventurous endeavors before. Was it not you who served his highness countless years ago?”

    I nodded. The event to which Gonzalo was referring to was the time I rescued the priceless golden cross which previously belonged to Coronado. The cross itself had little value to me, since I was living comfortably as a successful merchant during that time, so the monetary value wasn’t an issue. The reason I gave chase to the foul brigands who stole that piece of history in the first place was because of exactly that: they were thieves and justice had to be served one way or another.

    I was far younger and more adventurous during those times, anyway. I never would have been able to catch those thieves at my older age. What’s more, I was no longer a successful merchant when Gonzalo came to visit me. A merchant company had largely monopolized the industry in Lilycove, and parliament certainly wasn’t going to do anything about it as long as the wheels of the economy kept turning. In other words, I was out of a job. Despite my qualms in the offers that Gonzalo gave me, I knew that he was a rich man and would pay handsomely. This man was Spanish pride incarnate, although he was somehow able to remain free of snobbery and only acted sincere to me. Was I really that important to him? Or only an excellent actor?

    “The people of my home know about you, Walter,” said Gonzalo, addressing me by my first name only. He was beginning to use informal speech, likely trying to subconsciously gain my trust. I saw through his efforts. “His highness would be greatly appreciative of your services. And I’m certain you already assume that you will be paid for your services, and you would be correct.” Quick as a flash, Gonzalo drew his sword, stuck it into his coat pocket, and pulled out a small velvet sack on the tip of the blade all in one smooth movement. He carried out the display of swordsmanship casually, as if he did it every day. I tried not to flinch as he pushed the blade toward me.

    “Consider this a down payment,” whispered Gonzalo with a wink. I cupped my hands, allowing the sack to fall into my grasp. It was unusually heavy for an object of its size and I could feel the dozens upon dozens of gold coins settling in my palms. “Now you are willing to complete my assignment?”

    I already knew what I was going to say. There was no way that this deal would hurt me; I’m getting paid, I have nothing else to do, and I have a chance to uncover a piece of human history at this previously uncharted island. However, I looked pensive for a moment to keep Gonzalo interested. “Well, I suppose I have nothing to lose,” I finally said with a shrug. “How am I to get to the island?”

    “Excellent!” shouted Gonzalo, nearly ignoring the question. His exclamation caused Manectric to shake itself awake on the ground, but Gonzalo ignored it as well. “I can have you sent to the island tomorrow. I know an aviation expert in the area who will be able to fly you across the ocean.” With that, Gonzalo sheathed his sword. “Your transport will be waiting for you by the docks at high noon, so don’t be late. I wish you luck on your travels.” He turned around quickly on his heel and marched away without saying another word.

    I was now there alone on the promenade with Manectric, which shook itself and sent sparks flying all through the air around it. Manectric looked up at me with tired red eyes. I smiled for the first time that day and said, “I think it’s about time we headed home, Manectric. We have a long journey ahead of us tomorrow.” I began to walk away toward the bustling port town of Lilycove close by and Manectric followed me close behind. As I walked, I stuffed Gonzalo’s note into my coat pocket.

    To this day, I still keep the note that started this grand adventure. Here is a copy of the note:

    To the esteemed Walter Edington:

    I, Gonzalo the Great, personal naval captain of his highness, the King of Spain, write to you to inform you of an opportunity we have for you. Recently, on a journey across the Atlantic, my crew and I located an island which was not drawn on any of our sea charts. Due to the circumstances, we were not able to investigate the island. Upon landing in Lilycove, however, I spoke with many men about this island, hoping to gain some insight to this strange phenomenon. None of the men I spoke with knew anything about an uncharted volcanic island except for one man who gave me an unorthodox map of the island written in a foreign language. Now that I have the map and I know its location, I would explore the island myself, had I not already been engaged in a vitally important mission for his majesty, the King. This is why I want to employ your services. We all remember how you have so graciously served us in the past, so we call upon your aid once more. I want you to explore this uncharted island and see if there is anything of importance there, whether it be valuable treasure or archeological remains. We are willing to pay you handsomely for your efforts. Be sure to consider this offer, as I will be coming to meet you in person to discuss it. Meet me at seven o’ clock sharp in the western cliffs of Lilycove on the eleventh of December and don’t be late, for I am a busy man and don’t have excess time on my hands.

    Best of wishes,

    Gonzalo the Great
    Last edited by Gelatino95; 17th May 2012 at 11:28 PM.

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    I like it! With a first chapter like this, I can't wait to see where the entire story ends up!
    But with Spain and the Atlantic Ocean included, are you implying that our world is the same as the Pokemon world?
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    PM list Please! I am glad that I asked to be notified of this fic. Much detail. You are clearly skilled at writing.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheEliteEmpoleon View Post
    I like it! With a first chapter like this, I can't wait to see where the entire story ends up!
    But with Spain and the Atlantic Ocean included, are you implying that our world is the same as the Pokemon world?
    I also wonder this...



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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEliteEmpoleon View Post
    I like it! With a first chapter like this, I can't wait to see where the entire story ends up!
    But with Spain and the Atlantic Ocean included, are you implying that our world is the same as the Pokemon world?
    It means that the regions in the pokemon world have a place on our world map. Hoenn is in the Caribbean sea.

    And if you think this first chapter is good, just wait. We haven't even gotten to any of the action yet. To be completely honest, I was afraid that this chapter would be too boring and wouldn't attract any readers.

    Quote Originally Posted by cooloolcool View Post
    PM list Please! I am glad that I asked to be notified of this fic. Much detail. You are clearly skilled at writing.
    Added and thanks!

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    Wow, I'm impressed. It sounds like Walter is kinda like Indiana Jones in a way, at least in my opinion.

    This is shaping into an epic adventure: uncharted islands, starnge maps, gold coins, mysterious employers, and this is only the first chapter.

    I request to be placed on the PM list, I don't want to miss whatever comes next.

    Knightfall signing off...

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    Quote Originally Posted by knightfall View Post
    Wow, I'm impressed. It sounds like Walter is kinda like Indiana Jones in a way, at least in my opinion.

    This is shaping into an epic adventure: uncharted islands, starnge maps, gold coins, mysterious employers, and this is only the first chapter.

    I request to be placed on the PM list, I don't want to miss whatever comes next.

    Knightfall signing off...
    Once again, I'm shocked that this chapter was so alluring. Added to the list.

    Also, the reference to Coronado's cross is from The Last Crusade

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    Why are you so shocked, Gelatino, you met the requirements needed to catch our attention. You introduced us to our main character nicely (with more details to come, I assume), along with the promise of adventurous exploration of an unknown island. While it's not the best introduction in the world, it certainly has grabbed out attentions, especially with how mysterious Gonzalo is acting. I'm getting the feeling we shouldn't be trusting him, but that's just me. (And no, it's not because he's Spanish, it's from the way he acts.)

    I too also questioned the use of the real world, but before you answered that question, I was reminded of how the anime and the games pointed out real locations, so I figured that's what you were imitating, which isn't a bad thing, mind you. The idea of Hoenn being in the Caribbean makes sense, actually, it does have that atmosphere after all.

    I got interested about a couple of days ago when I saw the banner of promise depicting the three Regis. While they're not a favorite Legendary of mine, I find it interesting to see how other people portray them, since they're so left out a lot of times. So while I am here for them, there is something about these two characters you gave us that tells me they're going to be more interesting. But we shall see. You have a great writing style, so no matter what, I'm going to be entertained.

    Please slap me on the PM list, I'd like to see where this is going.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kutie Pie View Post
    Why are you so shocked, Gelatino, you met the requirements needed to catch our attention. You introduced us to our main character nicely (with more details to come, I assume), along with the promise of adventurous exploration of an unknown island. While it's not the best introduction in the world, it certainly has grabbed out attentions, especially with how mysterious Gonzalo is acting. I'm getting the feeling we shouldn't be trusting him, but that's just me. (And no, it's not because he's Spanish, it's from the way he acts.)
    Glad to see that my methods worked (unintentionally so, but they work nonetheless)

    I too also questioned the use of the real world, but before you answered that question, I was reminded of how the anime and the games pointed out real locations, so I figured that's what you were imitating, which isn't a bad thing, mind you. The idea of Hoenn being in the Caribbean makes sense, actually, it does have that atmosphere after all.
    I never liked to entertain the notion that the pokemon world is completely separate from the real world, with completely different continents and whatnot. To my logical and calculating mind, it just seemed like too much of a coincidence that two vastly different worlds could be so fundamentally simple. It's also something I picked up off of Cutlerine, so he deserves some credit for the idea.

    I got interested about a couple of days ago when I saw the banner of promise depicting the three Regis. While they're not a favorite Legendary of mine, I find it interesting to see how other people portray them, since they're so left out a lot of times. So while I am here for them, there is something about these two characters you gave us that tells me they're going to be more interesting. But we shall see. You have a great writing style, so no matter what, I'm going to be entertained.
    The Regis are actually my favorite legendaries and the very concept of golems is interesting to me- bits of inanimate material brought to life. I wanted to delve into what the Regis could have been built for, how they feel about being different from all other forms of life, and how other people view them.

    Please slap me on the PM list, I'd like to see where this is going.
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    Please bear with me, as I'm doing this from my iPhone and it's hard for me to put things into quotations, etc.

    It certainly is an alluring premise. I felt some Indiana jones undertones throughout the read (which is a good thing, as it's one of the most massive cinematic achievements in history). It is a refreshing beginning to a story, and from what I can tell, is assuredly going to be very unique. Got the Coronado reference too, btw.

    The description of the sunlight stood out to me quite a bit. Looking at sunlight through clouds is something I like doing a great deal, and believe it or not, I've also compared it to a glowing lampshade lol. One thing that did bother me about the description though, was when it came to Manectric. There was hardly any description of it at all, I believe the only thing that was mentioned was its fur color and build. Granted, 99% of people who read your fic will know what a Manectric looks like, but putting more description into it would be beneficial. Especially when it's going to be a major part of the story (judging from your banner where one is included). I like to visualize pokemon in my head as I read, and here I found that somewhat difficult. You may try more description with coming chapters, especially things that make that pokemon different than other members of it's specie. Height, weight, eye color, claw length, etc, are all things that can enhance the image a reader forms in their mind

    As for the plot, it seems appealing. Nothing like an adventure for an old man to liven him back up. It seems odd that not much is known about the island, especially since it seems that the fic is set in somewhat present day (though I may be mistaken). It does add tothe mystery of the place. I noticed the ghastly in the banner, as well as all three regi's in your previous banner, so I'm hoping that they have a major role. I don't see the three of them in Fics very much, so I'm excited to see how you portray them

    btw, I really liked walter's backstory and thought you did a really good job explaining how he gotto where he was at in his life. Nicely done

    I can't say that the chapter REALLY thrilled me, but it has grabbed my attention. It seems like a very original idea, and one that opens up alot of possibilities. You have a good beginning here, and if you keep with the mysticism that I see in your signature and the first chapter, I'm sure this will turn out to be quite a good read. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder View Post
    The description of the sunlight stood out to me quite a bit. Looking at sunlight through clouds is something I like doing a great deal, and believe it or not, I've also compared it to a glowing lampshade lol. One thing that did bother me about the description though, was when it came to Manectric. There was hardly any description of it at all, I believe the only thing that was mentioned was its fur color and build. Granted, 99% of people who read your fic will know what a Manectric looks like, but putting more description into it would be beneficial. Especially when it's going to be a major part of the story (judging from your banner where one is included). I like to visualize pokemon in my head as I read, and here I found that somewhat difficult. You may try more description with coming chapters, especially things that make that pokemon different than other members of it's specie. Height, weight, eye color, claw length, etc, are all things that can enhance the image a reader forms in their mind
    I can see how that description would help. If I get around to it, perhaps I'll add some more details to Manectric's appearance. If anything, showing his lazy state would contribute to the placid mood.

    As for the plot, it seems appealing. Nothing like an adventure for an old man to liven him back up. It seems odd that not much is known about the island, especially since it seems that the fic is set in somewhat present day (though I may be mistaken). It does add tothe mystery of the place. I noticed the ghastly in the banner, as well as all three regi's in your previous banner, so I'm hoping that they have a major role. I don't see the three of them in Fics very much, so I'm excited to see how you portray them
    Actually, the story is set near the beginning of the nineteenth century, on the cusp of European imperialism. Some of the Caribbean islands are British colonies, and Walter had presumably worked as a merchant, distributing the raw goods produced by the islands throughout the British empire. However, a British company came by and did practically the same job except in greater volume, so that's why Walter was out of a job. He was smart to go to the Caribbean sea, though. Raw materials were important to sustain the British empire and selling them would be a great way to make revenue. I assume he was a British colonist, or descended from one.

    Also, there hasn't been a formal king in Spain for a while so that might help you infer the time period

    I can't say that the chapter REALLY thrilled me, but it has grabbed my attention. It seems like a very original idea, and one that opens up alot of possibilities. You have a good beginning here, and if you keep with the mysticism that I see in your signature and the first chapter, I'm sure this will turn out to be quite a good read. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter
    Glad you like it so far.
    Last edited by Gelatino95; 7th April 2012 at 10:33 PM.

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    Great intro, quite promising and definitely makes me want to come back for more. I'm intrigued and interested in seeing where this is going.
    I am curious, though: Does Walter have other Pokemon, besides from Manectric? If so, will we see them?
    Anyway, great start, sign me up on the PM list.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KickAsh View Post
    Great intro, quite promising and definitely makes me want to come back for more. I'm intrigued and interested in seeing where this is going.
    I am curious, though: Does Walter have other Pokemon, besides from Manectric? If so, will we see them?
    Anyway, great start, sign me up on the PM list.
    Right now Manectric is his only pokemon. He'll get more eventually. Added.

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    Saw you advertise this fic in the fanfic club, figured I'd give it a look. So far, I must say, I like what I see.

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    I dig this, as well. Can you add me to your PM list?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Missingno. Master View Post
    Saw you advertise this fic in the fanfic club, figured I'd give it a look. So far, I must say, I like what I see.
    That was kind of illegal advertising as I now know, but I'm still glad you like it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    I dig this, as well. Can you add me to your PM list?
    Added

    Ideally, the next chapter should be out tomorrow
    Last edited by Gelatino95; 7th April 2012 at 2:22 AM.

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    Oh yeah, that reminds me, can I be on the PM list too? Can't believe I didn't ask in the first place...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Missingno. Master View Post
    Oh yeah, that reminds me, can I be on the PM list too? Can't believe I didn't ask in the first place...
    Added

    Also, it turns out I lied. The next chapter isn't going to be out tomorrow. I just finished it. So, here it is. A quick note: Along with all your other reviews, I want to know specifically if you think the fight scene in this chapter is too long. I'll use your feedback as an example for writing future battles.

    Chapter II: Manectric

    Today was a really exciting day. Nothing amazing happened, unfortunately, but I was excited nonetheless. I get excited whenever it’s time to go on a journey. I understood perfectly well that being away from home so long and exploring a strange and new land would be quite a chore, but somehow the idea appealed to me. Maybe I wanted to get away from my monotonous life here in Lilycove. Don’t get me wrong; I love relaxing at home, watching my master read and write, doing errands, and challenging rowdy men at the tavern to Pokémon battles. Sometimes, I guess I get tired of this life and want to experience something new. Some people like to stay at home and never change. I’m not one of those people. The very prospect of going on a long journey away from home makes my blood pump faster through my electrically-charged veins. Why wait? Let’s go on our adventure right now!

    Of course, my master wasn’t ready to go just yet. As with any good adventure, there were preparations to be made. Had it not been for my master’s guidance, I would jump the gun and leave this city on the spot. My master has lived for many more years than I and he has gone on far more adventures. He is a trustworthy man and an experienced one, and I respect him for that. Therefore, I decide to stay by his side. If anything, living like this makes my life simple and I can confide that my life is in good hands.

    The second I woke up, my master was already preparing to go out on the town. Leaving the house was an adventure in and of itself, seeing as most of my waking hours were spent inside with my master. It’s hard to imagine a time in my life when I’m not excited about something. We both left the house and my master locked the door behind us. He rarely told me where we were going when we left the house, which made it even more of an adventure. I could hardly wait to see where we were going.

    The first place we stopped at was the Poké ball shop. We rarely came here, so I wasn’t familiar with the area. I smelled the wooden floor when we came in. Countless different people had been here, and very few of them were regulars. I smelled fresh soil stuck to the bottoms of their shoes. Travelers, perhaps?

    “Ah, you're back.” The shopkeeper looked over his spectacles at my master. He had a purple Poké ball in his hand and was polishing it meticulously. "It's about time."

    “Yes,” my master replied curtly. I loved watching his bushy mustache move as he talked, though he preferred to talk only in terse statements, so I didn’t get that full pleasure. “I take it you’ve completed my order?”

    The shopkeeper sighed shallowly. I could already tell there was going to be trouble. “Your order was considerably large, sir. I’m trying to run a business here...”

    “Don’t dodge the question.” My master snapped the shopkeeper’s mouth shut with his words. My head lowered upon hearing this exchange. I didn’t really care much for what sort of business my master conducted, but I was more concerned about him. I looked up, curious yet apprehensive as he spoke up again, a bit quieter this time. “I ordered twenty Poké balls. How many did you make for me?”

    “Well, that’s just the thing, sir.” The shopkeeper was avoiding my master’s eyes. He was intimidated but didn’t want to show it. I believe I’m perceptive of these sorts of things. “I had some Poké balls made, ready to be picked up... but you must understand, sir, I had other customers waiting to be served as well. I’m afraid I couldn’t hold my merchandise for you and refuse to serve any other paying customers.” He took in a sharp breath and began polishing his lenses. “In short, sir, I’m afraid we don’t have enough in stock to complete your order. My sincerest apologies.”

    I wasn’t listening much to this exchange. I was more curious as to what this shop had to offer. I stood up on my hind legs and placed my paws on the counter behind which the shopkeeper stood. Looking across the room, I saw that there were countless shelves lining the walls, adorned with Poké balls of all colors and designs. These were the capsules that humans used to carry especially unwieldy Pokémon around with them. I was relatively easy to transport so I could stay out of my ball most of the time.

    Before I could make any further observations, the shopkeeper planted his hand on my chest and pushed me backwards, sending me tumbling to the floor. I whimpered under my breath. I wasn’t concerned for my own welfare at all, but I was much more worried to see how my master would react to such treatment.

    “I say, please keep your mutt’s dingy paws off my counter!” The shopkeeper promptly procured a cloth and wiped down the area where I stood with one hand and shook the sparks off his other hand.

    My master simply remained silent and kept a disinterested semblance, as he often does. It would seem as if he liked to keep his feelings hidden from others. For what reason, I couldn’t hope to know. I could only assume that under his mask of indifference, my master was deeply irritated at the shopkeeper’s unkind treatment of me.

    A brief silence ensued, which felt much longer due to the tense atmosphere between the two men. The shopkeeper let out a cough to break the silence and stated hesitantly, “If it’s any consolation, I just finished carving some Poké balls of my own design. I could give them to you for no extra charge to atone for my mishap.”

    As usual, my master appeared indifferent. I could rarely guess what he was thinking based solely on his expressions. “Poké balls of your own design? Let me see.”

    He put down the purple Poké ball in his hand, then reached below the counter and brought out three more matching ones. Each was painted purple on the top half and white on the bottom, with two pink spots and a white letter “M” between them.

    The shopkeeper smiled thinly as my master scrutinized the four balls laid out before him. “I call them Master Balls. I designed them myself. If my calculations are correct, then they should be able to capture any Pokémon without fail.”

    My master raised an eyebrow incredulously at this claim. “Without fail, you say? I’m sure you’re not the only one to attempt designing a perfect Poké ball. What makes yours any different from the others?”

    The shopkeeper’s smug grin disappeared instantly. “All I know is that I stayed up countless nights perfecting my design. Whether or not you choose to believe me, I’m giving you these four balls for free as compensation. You would be wise to take them.”

    I could almost feel my master seething with rage at the insolence of the shopkeeper. I managed to crack a smile imagining the steam flying out of his ears. But when he spoke, he returned to his steely gaze and peaceful speech.

    “Very well.” My master procured a small sack from his jacket pocket and pulled out a small handful of gold coins, dropping them on the counter with a resonating clatter. Without another word, he grasped all of his balls and dropped them in his pocket. He then promptly left for the door.

    I lingered behind for a moment to see if the shopkeeper would offer my master his money back, since the balls were free of charge, as he said. Just as I expected, the shopkeeper gathered up all the gold coins and immediately started counting them. He then gave one final sneer to my master as he left the shop. I whimpered and followed him out the door.

    ~~~

    Our next stop was the tavern. This was where we went for lunch every day, and despite our frequent visits, I was excited to go there. I got quite a workout at the tavern; there were always tough men there who were itching for a good Pokémon battle. It seemed that the men were proud to show off their strong Pokémon which they had no doubt spent many tedious hours training. My master was no exception, though he seemed more reserved about it. I, however, was always prepared to do my best in battle and show off my abilities, hoping to please my master.

    I followed after my master through the swinging wooden doors of the tavern. Upon entering that room, it was like entering a whole new world. The loud, steady murmur of the crowd resonated into every corner of the tavern. Ambient light provided by lanterns hanging from the ceiling was sufficient to bask the whole area in a warm orange light. But most of all, the smell of musty sailors, mixed with the pleasing aroma of fresh food and alcoholic beverages of all varieties, really characterized the tavern. I came here ever since I was a little Electrike puppy, so these particular sensory details brought a pleasing nostalgic feeling to me.

    It seemed that my master wanted to walk up to the bar of the tavern, so I followed. However, before we got there, we were met by the gruff, booming voice of an old sailor.

    “Walt!” said the sailor heartily. The low, intimidating rumble of the old man’s voice was mismatched with his appearance. He had sparse white tufts of hair above his wrinkled forehead and two wizened eyes on his face. The rest of his body was obscured by a long naval coat which swished just above the floor when he stood up. I sat down on the ground and watched the coat move intently as he talked with my master.

    He continued, somewhat quieter than before, “So, I was told you’re leaving. Is that so?”

    My master responded, “That is correct.” Even when speaking with friends, he maintained his cool demeanor, but it was considerably easier to tell his feelings just from the timbre of his voice. Right now he was employing a lightly dejected tone (certain tones were used in varying degrees of intensity). “I’ve been hired by a wealthy Spanish naval officer to travel to an uncharted island and explore on behalf of Spain. Nothing especially exciting.”

    “You don’t say?” The old man put a hand to his chin and his wizened eyes turned pensive. “Well, if your employer is as wealthy as you say, then you’ll be sittin’ pretty for a while if you pull of the job!” He extended a hand, which my master shook vigorously. “Good for you!”

    “I’m glad you think so,” my master replied. “Perhaps I’ll share some of the money if I’m feeling generous.”

    “Oh-ho-ho!” chuckled the man, slapping a hand on my master’s back. “We’ll all be stinking rich! You’re a good man, Walt. What do you say you challenge your old pal Briney to one more battle before you go?”

    Briney was an old friend of my master. Apparently they served in the royal British navy together and they both moved to Hoenn when it came under possession of the British empire. Briney lived on the other side of the island, near Petalburg, but he sailed by Lilycove frequently to meet with all his other sailor friends, including my master. Since they were both accomplished Pokémon trainers, this of course meant that battles were inevitable. My master and I had some preparing to do before we left on our journey, but of course he couldn’t turn down the offer of that jolly old man.

    “Sure, why not?”

    Briney answered with a wide grin, so wide that it seemed like the top of his head would separate itself from the rest of his body. Without another word he turned around and started off in the opposite direction, walking slowly and deliberately, thumping on the floor with each step of his naval boots. The crowds around him hushed and made a wide circle around the two combatants; the customers of the tavern were accustomed to frequent Pokémon battles, so they could recognize the swaggering step that indicated a battle was about to start.

    I knew what to do at this point. Without being told, I stepped forward into the circle made by the crowd, all by myself in the makeshift battlefield. It wasn’t so much of a circle as some sort of indeterminate shape, since there were tables and booths for people to eat at lining the sides of the battlefield, only providing a narrow alley to battle in. Still, it was enough room for a good scuffle. I turned my head back and looked at my master. He nodded in approval. That sort of approval was all I needed to motivate myself. I was ready to try my very hardest.

    Briney stood at his opposite end of the circle. He drew a plain Poké ball from his jacket pocket and held it out. The room was flooded with a brief flash of light; when the light faded, a tall red crustacean was standing before me. He stood up straight, coming up to Briney’s chest. As if to flaunt his nonexistent status, a massive yellow star and two blue stripes adorned his head. He smiled upon seeing me and snapped his unwieldy claws in the air with pleasure.

    “Hey, Manectric!” he shouted in a gravelly voice which mimicked his trainer’s. “Havin’ another go at me, eh?” The Crawdaunt knocked his claw against his chest, making a hollow noise. “Think you can take ol’ Pepper in a good ol’ fashioned tussle? I’m ready when you are, lad!”

    Pepper was one of my closest friends. I met him when I was just a little Electrike and he was just a Corphish, way back when I first met my master. While my master and Briney were close friends, I was friends with Briney’s Pokémon. Pepper was a couple years older than me, so he taught me some of the essentials to becoming a skillful battler. We’ve been sparring for years and we’re still not sure which of us was better; I guess you could say we had a rivalry of sorts, but a friendly one.

    “I’m always ready to fight you, Pepper,” I replied in good spirits. “Let’s make this a good, clean fight.”

    “Aye.”

    The air was tense as both battlers concocted their strategies. I wasn’t ready to attack until my master commanded me to; not only would it be rash to attack prematurely, but it would greatly displease him. Pepper, on the other hand, looked like he was ready to burst out of his shell if he didn’t get to attack soon; his eyes were trained on me and his pincers were snapping at the air.

    Finally, my master spoke up. “Let’s give them a fighting chance, boy. No electric attacks until we’re out of other options.” I nodded in agreement. Pepper was a water-type, so using electric moves would be far too easy. Pepper doesn’t have that sort of offensive advantage over me. However, that left me with the problem of his indestructible armor.

    He finally appended curtly, “Use Bite. Aim for the arms.”

    “Don’t let ‘im, Pepper!” shouted Briney in response. His jolly semblance was lost during the battle. “If he gets too close, hit ‘im with a Vicegrip he won’t forget!”

    Briney’s command was in vain, however. I could tell even before starting my attack. I darted forward at blinding speed. Less than a second later, I was standing in a different spot. Pepper tried to track my movements with his recessed eyes, but I was too quick. I darted to the side. Then I darted back. Forward some more. He was struggling to keep up with me. I darted straight in front of him. It took a second for his brain to register, and then with speed almost parallel to mine, his claw snapped forward. But not fast enough—I drew back a couple steps, out of his reach. I darted around some more to confuse him. Finally, I disappeared from sight. Pepper looked around frantically for me, and he finally found me—clamping down on his arm with my jaw.

    My master and I both knew that a Crawdaunt’s weak point is on its arm, the part that connects its pincer to its body. This was where its armor was very thin, and very easy to reach. I grabbed on with all my might. It almost pained me to hear Pepper’s cries of distress, but I’ve known him long enough to know that he’s a hardy creature. I continued hanging on as long as I could. I was concentrating so hard, I hardly even noticed Pepper’s other claw coming up in front of me.

    It was too late; his claw nicked the end of my nose. I yelped, fearing that he would pull my nose clean off. He didn’t, however. That yelp of mine was just enough to dislodge me from his armor. He took the opportunity to reach around and grip my abdomen. I could almost feel my pupils shrink as I realized that he was in control of the battle now. A Crawdaunt’s claw was stronger than the force of a barrel full of bricks pressing down on you. Pepper happened to be an experienced Crawdaunt, stronger than average. He could kill me right this second if he wanted to squeeze hard enough. I knew he wouldn’t, since this wasn’t a fight to the death, but the fear gripped me nonetheless. Call it survival instinct.

    Rather than crushing my ribcage on the spot, Pepper raised me above his head, reared back, and tossed me across the room. I sailed through the air for a few seconds and then landed limply at my master’s feet. Weak sparks flew off my skin and fell to the floor. A sign that I still had energy to battle.

    My master asked anyway: “Are you feeling okay, boy?” He appeared to be genuinely worried, but no more than usual. I would never displease my master like this, nor let down my own pride. My legs shook a little as I did it, but I promptly stood up and growled fiercely. The small crowd erupted in applause at my display of fighting spirit. I enjoyed the attention of the crowd, of course, but my motivation came only from my master.

    Briney was chortling to himself loudly. “Are you sure you don’t jus’ want to quit now? Your Manectric looks like it’s taken quite a beating there!” Pepper let out his own rumbling laugh as well.

    “I’m afraid you’re not going to be that lucky today, Briney,” my master replied reassuringly. I smiled at his perseverance. He then gave his order. “Same thing, boy, but watch out for those claws.”

    I darted off again at a speed that nearly made me invisible. I flew back and forth to confuse Pepper. However, this time, I noticed he wasn’t looking around. His body was still as a statue, looking straight forward. He was wise to my plans, so I decided to adopt a different strategy in return.

    I stopped darting. I stood still and watched Pepper from afar. He still didn’t move. I walked forward slowly, each padded foot hitting the floor silently as I approached the enemy. Pepper watched me curiously. The crowd was hushed, full of anticipation. Nobody could predict my next move. That’s good, because neither could Pepper. Once I was relatively close, I started bounding forward at full speed, fangs bared. Pepper finally moved into position. He raised his claws in a defensive position, ready to take on my attack with his iron-clad armor and get me in his grips once more. I jumped up in the air and was ready to land on him at any second. Pepper snapped a claw in the air as I came down...

    ...But his claw only grabbed the air. I had disappeared from sight. Pepper didn’t grow frantic at all. He whipped his body around as fast as he could and saw me standing right behind him. Before he could even raise a claw, I pounced forward and knocked him over.

    It wasn’t so easy for Pepper to move with his stiff body on the ground. He flailed all his limbs, desperate to regain balance. He couldn’t reach me. I licked my lips and prepared to bite down on his feeble arm.

    I felt a claw grip around my neck. A shiver went down my spine. Having a claw around my ribs was bad enough, but having one around my neck felt so much worse. Just as I was about to bite down on him, Pepper gripped down on me instead. He got right back up to his feet—apparently, being on the ground wasn’t as much of a problem as I anticipated—and held me up in the air by my neck.

    I had finally lost my cool at that point. My legs flailed in the air, gripping on nothing at all. I whimpered. Pepper squeezed his grip on me slightly. I heard his rumbling laugh again. I knew he wasn’t going to kill me, but at this point I was beginning to doubt myself. The only thing that kept me on the brink of sanity was the commanding voice of my master.

    “All right, this has gone too far,” he said in a voice full of concern that he tried to conceal. “Manectric, Discharge, and don’t hold back.”

    My mind instantly went back into focus, like cold water had been splashed on my face. Following the command was easier than thinking for myself and I wasn’t about to disobey anyway. Without thinking, I let loose as much pent up electricity as I could. My eyes were shut tight. I didn’t want to see what was going on. Not only were my survival instincts at their peak, but I couldn’t stand to see Pepper’s face in this condition.

    After a couple seconds had passed, I stopped the electric flow. I was still being gripped by Pepper’s claw, which I now see had become sufficiently blackened by my attack. Within the next second, however, Pepper’s grip slackened and I fell to the floor with a sizable thud. I scrambled to my feet and ran a short distance, then turned around to see the extent of the damage.

    Nearly Pepper’s entire body had turned black. The crimson red of his shell couldn’t be seen any more. His eyelids were thrust open in an eternal scream. His limbs were all in the same position as they were when the electricity touched his body. He was stiff, unmoving. It took a few agonizing seconds before Pepper’s body started to lean to the side and finally fall to the floor with a hollow clatter. Everyone looked on with awe, and within a few moments, the crowd burst into cheer. Ignoring the crowd, I walked back to my master and lay down at his feet. He stroked my fur gently, shook the sparks off his hand, and walked up to Briney.

    My master stuck out his hand to his adversary. They shook hands. “You know how I am, Briney,” he said. “Won’t lose a battle if I don’t have to.”

    “Always the same with you, Walt,” responded Briney with a toothy grin. He looked back at his fried Pokémon and made a pained expression. “I reckon Pepper’s been frazzled. He’ll be better with some food in ‘im, though. He’s a tough little critter, he is.”

    “Allow me,” said my master. He walked up to the bar and slapped a few notes on the counter. “Go ahead and get him healed up. I have an order to pick up anyway.”

    “You’re a real friend, Walt,” declared Briney as he ordered a copious amount of fish to feed Pepper.

    ~~~

    My master and Briney chatted away at the bar as my master attempted to fit about a thousand dried biscuits into a small bag. Meanwhile, I sat at a booth with Pepper (nobody who had seen that battle would have a problem with letting the Pokémon take the seats that were intended for humans) with a wet washcloth in my mouth, cleaning the black soot off his carapace. Pepper filled his belly with breaded fish and sighed contentedly.

    “Jeez, that shock hurt like Hell,” commented Pepper between bites. “But I’m a tough one. Not down for the count yet.”

    I chuckled at Pepper’s fighting spirit. “You’re gonna get yourself killed if you think like that,” I advised. “Don’t overdo it. Even you need to take a rest sometimes.”

    “Me? Naw,” he replied succinctly, earning another laugh from me.

    I continued my washing in silence. Pepper looked pensive. Finally, he spoke up again. “So, you’re goin’ out with your master on a journey...” He put emphasis on the word “journey”.

    “That’s right.”

    He looked into my eyes. “You think you’re ready for it, boy? The dangers of being out in the wild are nothin’ like the dangers in this here tavern.”

    I didn’t chuckle this time. Pepper always acted like a fatherly figure to me. He was the one who taught me how to fight, so I guess he felt like I was his son, or at least his apprentice. Even when we weren’t sparring, we always had a good laugh together. But my immaturity contrasted with all his worldly experience, so I always felt subordinate to him.

    “Yeah, I think I’m ready,” I said. “You’ve taught me a lot about fighting. And I have my master to guide me.”

    Pepper sighed deeply, and this time it wasn’t with content. “Walt...” he began slowly, “...is a great trainer, to be sure. He’s got the smarts of a mathematician and the quick wit of Shakespeare.” Pepper shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “But he makes... calculating decisions. I’ve seen it when you battle. He gives you great commands and he almost always comes out on top. But that’s just his problem: his tactics are designed to win battles. Did you see when he told you to attack me again with the same tactics, after he saw what I did to you?” I shivered slightly at the memory. “Of course his plan worked. But I don’t think he’s taking your safety into careful consideration.”

    We sat in silence once more. Pepper got himself into a more comfortable sitting position. “Just something to think about. You might not want to trust that man with your life. Think for yourself a bit.”

    I was appalled that Pepper would say something like that about my master. I didn’t outwardly show it, but I resented those words. I would gladly trust my master with my life. I trusted him to the end of the world. I never even entertained the thought that Pepper’s words could have some value... and yet, it lingered in the back of my mind.

    I shoved the thought aside and finished with my polishing. “There! Good as new,” I exclaimed, admiring my work on Pepper’s shell. “Why, I could almost see myself in it if you weren’t covered in scratches.”

    “Those are there to remind me of all my victories!” he chuckled. He raised his eyes a bit and looked across the room. “I think your master’s about ready to go.” Indeed, my master has stood up and shook hands with Briney one more time before he started walking toward the exit. “I guess I’ll see you ‘round, Manectric. Don’t worry 'bout me, I’ll be fine. Have a good time.”

    “Thanks, Pepper. I will!” I got up and leapt to the floor. When my master walked by, I followed in step with him out of the tavern.

    “Don’t forget what I said!” called out Pepper one more time. I visibly flinched, but kept walking.
    Last edited by Gelatino95; 7th April 2012 at 2:05 PM.

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  18. #18
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    Very good chapter. FYI, I didn't have any problems with the battle's length.

    EDIT: RAAAAAAAAAAAAANK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!

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    New chapter? Already? I like it.

    There wasn't much going on this chapter adventure wise, but the battle was well done and we get to see Walter and Manetric's battle skills.
    I'm not sure about Walter getting four Master Balls, how could a regular blacksmith make something that powerful. I understand he put a lot of time and effort into them, but I don't trust him. Anyways, if they are real than Walter just got the deal of a lifetime: four Master Balls for twenty Poke Balls.

    And I didn't know Mr. Briney could time travel.....or that his family names all their sons "Briney" and has lived on the same plot of land for generations.

    Great chapter, can't wait until the next.

    Knightfall signing off...

  20. #20
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    Absolutely great. I loved some of the description here.

    His eyelids were thrust open in an eternal scream.
    That, for instance, was the icing on the cake. Such a fantastic visual.

    I only have two areas I'd adjust or note. First off, I feel like Manectric pointed out Walter's gruff, unreadable exterior about 500 times. I felt like "Okay, I get it. The guy has a poker face; tell me something else". And two, be careful of contradictions like this: You had the shopkeeper ask Walt "Back so soon?" (and Walt confirm it) just a few sentences before the shopkeeper made it sound like he hadn't seen Walt in ages (he sold the balls he was holding for him). It's minor, and hardly even worth a mention, but it kind of jarred me.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Gelatino95 View Post
    It means that the regions in the pokemon world have a place on our world map. Hoenn is in the Caribbean sea.

    And if you think this first chapter is good, just wait. We haven't even gotten to any of the action yet. To be completely honest, I was afraid that this chapter would be too boring and wouldn't attract any readers.
    I think it is great! You're an awesome writer. Could you please put me on the PM list? Thanks
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  22. #22
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    I didn't expect to see a chapter from Manectric's perspective! I was wary at first, mostly because I liked reading as Walt so much, but I really liked it.
    You're good at describing things from a Manectric's point of view--excited by new things, loves sniffing things, energetic. Since I imagine a Manectric to be very canine, his actions really clicked with me.
    I didn't think the battle was too long at all, in fact I think you could even write a more for really important battles, if you wanted to.
    I agree with what Sid87 said on the last page. You pointed out Walter's gruffness too much. Try to say something else about him--Manectric has a unique point of view, because he's 1) a Pokemon 2) seemingly very perceptive and 3) very familiar with Walter. You should try to have Manectric say something about Walter that no one else would notice. It would add more versatility to writing from Manectric's perspective.
    This chapter also killed your momentum a bit, I think. I mean, obviously Walter can't go off on the adventure right away, and I appreciate the attention to details you have for describing his preparations (biscuits, Pokeballs). But I was really pumped for his adventure, and no my excitement isn't as strong. So, I think you should try to regain that momentum in Chapter 3. Really get the audience excited again.
    I know I'm being harsh, but this was really a great chapter. What I'm saying are minor things. I like your writing a lot. Keep up the good work.

  23. #23
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    Very detailed. I like it. Good job. Can't wait for those Regis. 1 for each specialty pokeball!



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    Wonderful fic, add me to the pm list please
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missingno. Master View Post
    Very good chapter. FYI, I didn't have any problems with the battle's length.

    EDIT: RAAAAAAAAAAAAANK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!
    Thanks and congrats on the rank up. Looks very nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by knightfall View Post
    I'm not sure about Walter getting four Master Balls, how could a regular blacksmith make something that powerful. I understand he put a lot of time and effort into them, but I don't trust him. Anyways, if they are real than Walter just got the deal of a lifetime: four Master Balls for twenty Poke Balls.
    As long as you know how to make a Master Ball, I imagine the process wouldn't be that difficult to duplicate. Like he said, he stayed up countless nights perfecting his design. But between you and me, I wouldn't trust him too much either.

    And I didn't know Mr. Briney could time travel.....or that his family names all their sons "Briney" and has lived on the same plot of land for generations.
    That's completely possible. I just included him in the story for my writing purposes; it's not meant to parallel the games. Any inconsistencies with the games or the anime are likely intentional.

    Great chapter, can't wait until the next.

    Knightfall signing off...
    Yay

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    I only have two areas I'd adjust or note. First off, I feel like Manectric pointed out Walter's gruff, unreadable exterior about 500 times. I felt like "Okay, I get it. The guy has a poker face; tell me something else". And two, be careful of contradictions like this: You had the shopkeeper ask Walt "Back so soon?" (and Walt confirm it) just a few sentences before the shopkeeper made it sound like he hadn't seen Walt in ages (he sold the balls he was holding for him). It's minor, and hardly even worth a mention, but it kind of jarred me.
    Both of those are duly noted. I suppose you could say that the shopkeeper was being sarcastic, but that would just be a terrible excuse for my mistake. In my defense, that was just a transcription error. My draft had something different happen but I changed it when I typed it up.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheEliteEmpoleon View Post
    I think it is great! You're an awesome writer. Could you please put me on the PM list? Thanks
    Added and thanks

    Quote Originally Posted by KickAsh View Post
    I didn't expect to see a chapter from Manectric's perspective! I was wary at first, mostly because I liked reading as Walt so much, but I really liked it.
    Oh, didn't I tell you? This story is written from the perspective of different main characters. Each chapter switches off to somebody else.

    You're good at describing things from a Manectric's point of view--excited by new things, loves sniffing things, energetic. Since I imagine a Manectric to be very canine, his actions really clicked with me.
    I've never really had a dog of my own, so I'm glad I nailed that description pretty well.

    I didn't think the battle was too long at all, in fact I think you could even write a more for really important battles, if you wanted to.
    Duly noted

    I agree with what Sid87 said on the last page. You pointed out Walter's gruffness too much. Try to say something else about him--Manectric has a unique point of view, because he's 1) a Pokemon 2) seemingly very perceptive and 3) very familiar with Walter. You should try to have Manectric say something about Walter that no one else would notice. It would add more versatility to writing from Manectric's perspective.
    I'll remember that for when I'm revising

    This chapter also killed your momentum a bit, I think. I mean, obviously Walter can't go off on the adventure right away, and I appreciate the attention to details you have for describing his preparations (biscuits, Pokeballs). But I was really pumped for his adventure, and no my excitement isn't as strong. So, I think you should try to regain that momentum in Chapter 3. Really get the audience excited again.
    The journey starts in the next chapter, so cool your jets. Also there will be a bit of suspense.

    I know I'm being harsh, but this was really a great chapter. What I'm saying are minor things. I like your writing a lot. Keep up the good work.
    Please, don't worry about being harsh. I need your criticisms. As I said in the OP, this is a work in progress and I regularly go back to revise my chapters. So of course, I need to know what to improve on, and who better to tell me than the people who enjoy the story in the first place?

    Quote Originally Posted by cooloolcool View Post
    Very detailed. I like it. Good job. Can't wait for those Regis. 1 for each specialty pokeball!
    That was just a bit of foreshadowing on my part

    Quote Originally Posted by charizard88 View Post
    Wonderful fic, add me to the pm list please
    Added and thanks

    I haven't started on the next chapter yet but I know what's going to happen, so it shouldn't take too long to make.

    EDIT: I went back and did some of the edits. You can go back and read the chapters if you want, but you won't necessarily miss anything if you don't.
    Last edited by Gelatino95; 7th April 2012 at 2:28 PM.

    ^ Click this for good times ^


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