Hey everyone, GalladeofSpades here, posting my very first fanfiction on this site. I hope you like it. However, a few notes before I start this.
1. Slight Dawn bashing this episode, although it's brief.
2. Script isn't against the rules people. Besides, you try writing a talk show in post. It's not that easy.
3. If necessary, correct me on any grammar problems you might encounter.
That Show with the Hippie and the Jerkwad Dragons
Episode 1: Pilot
*scene takes place in the Hall of Origin. Numerous shards of glass are suspended in mid air. Tall, golden pillars shine brilliantly throughout this corridor of the holy ones*
Arceus: All right everyone, I’m visiting my alternate universe self with Palkia. Please try not to destroy the Hall of Origin. AGAIN.
Every single other Legendary: Yes Arceus.
Arceus: *sighes* I have told you all time and time again, I prefer to be called Mother.
Mew: *raises paw*
Arceus: Yes Mew?
Mew: But Arceus… You’re genderless-
Arceus: *snaps* QUIET DAMNIT. I’M A FEMALE AND THAT’S THAT.
All other Legendaries: Yes Mother…
Arceus: Good. Now no funny business. *leaves through a pink portal Palkia created*
Palkia: *mouths “Good Luck” and leaves*
Mesprit: ASSEMBLE THE STUDIO!!!
*Chaos. Kyurem and Giratina bring in several cameras, while Articuno and Moltres bring in two sofas: one black, one white. A larger gray sofa is carried by Darkrai and Mewtwo. Deoxys and Cresselia make four brick walls rise, their interior looking like they have a full view of some kind of city at night. Mew brings in a swarm of Kricketot and Kricketune. Meloetta stands in front of said swarm, ready to conduct. Groudon brings in an audience*
Mesprit: BRING IN THE HOSTS!
Azelf: *in a british accent* Mesprit, we can hear you.
Mesprit: *mocks Azelf’s accent* Oh, do shut up.
*In come the two Dragons of Truth and Ideals. Reshiram sports a single daisy in her (er…it’s) white mane, looking extremely worried. Zekrom, on the other hand, looks completely fine and even bored.*
Reshiram: I don’t think this is going to end well…
Zekrom: Oh god, will you give it a break? That Jurassic Horse will find out nothing! NOTHING! Get it through your thick, hippie skull!
Reshiram: *glares* I’m not talking about that. *sits in the white sofa, while Zekrom sits in the black one* I’m talking about having every single Legendary broadcasted dimension wide. You know, for every single legendary nutcase to see?
Kyurem: Um… what does this button do? *press the button that starts the broadcast*
Zekrom: Relax woman. We’re in the hidden Hall of Origin, home to every friggin’ Legendary in the UNIVERSE. Heck, the only way to get in here is to go to Solaceon Ruins and find the Unown Epitaph, which opens the portal to our little realm. Besides, Arceus launched that rumor that it was the Azure Flute that let them into the Hall of Origin. You have nothing to worry about!
Reshiram: Ugh, you sound like Dawn from the Animé world. ‘No need to worry no need to worry’... Somebody shut her up.
Zekrom: Yeah. I know she’s a total… *notices a red blinking light on all the cameras* What’s the blinking light for?
Azelf: *trembling* It… means we’re live…
*cue shocked look on every Legendary face*
Zekrom: … FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF*************-
Reshiram: *Fusion Flare’s Zekrom, knocking him out* Hello every dimension in the Universe! I’m Reshiram, the graceful Dragon of Truth-
Zekrom: *mumbles* Hippie…
Reshiram: *keeps smiling and kicks Zekrom in the face* - and this… lovely persona is Zekrom, the ruthless Dragon of Ideals, or as most people call him, Jerkwad.
Zekrom: *completely unconscious*
Genesect: *operating a camera, so he’s behind it* *annoyed* WAKE UP ALREADY! *about to fire an Ice Type Techno Blast*
Kyurem: *about to turn the (miniscule) camera when he (… let’s assume it’s a he) trips on a cord* Whoops. *ends up in front of Genesect*
*Genesect fires and it hits Kyurem*
Kyurem: O_O * turns to Genesect and roars threateningly*
Reshiram: ISSUE THE SIGN!
*All cameras now have a little sign saying ‘Kyurem is trying to eat Genesect again. Please stand by and use this opportunity to go pee.’ in front of the lens. The sign even comes with Victini doing his (THIS JOKE IS GETTING OLDER THAN ARCEUS) peace sign.*
Reshiram: *voice* Cool it, Kyurem!
*Numerous crashes are heard, along with a few static-like girly screams, presumably from Genesect. In fact, if you listen closely, it sounds like a massacre is happening on the other side of the lens. Numerous shards of ice falling can also be heard.*
Reshiram: *voice* All right, we’re good!
*The sign abandons the front of the camera, revealing quite the interesting scene. Genesect is in a corner of the room rocking himself (It’s a him, trust me). Kyurem on the other hand, appears to be chewing a squeaky chew toy peacefully. Zekrom is holding a bag of frozen peas to his (again, definitely a he) head, groaning*
Reshiram: We’re so sorry for the inconvenience, but hey, we’re back to our show! The… What’s the name of this show again?
Meloetta: That Show with the Hippie and the Jerkwad Dragons. *receives looks* Kyurem named it.
Reshiram: … ANYWAY…
Zekrom: We had a great show for you tonight, but Palkia forgot to bring in the guests.
Reshiram: Say what now?
Zekrom: What now?
Reshiram: *facepalms* Great, what do we do now?
Meloetta: You could always give them a visual tour of the studio.
Zekrom: Perfect. Let’s start with Reshiram’s hippie head. Note the pale hippie complexion full of hippieness. The blue eyes that glare at your every movement.
Reshiram: Let’s move on to my body. There are my lustrous white wings, and there’s the white claw that’s going to stab your eye out if you DON’T SHUT UP.
Zekrom: Fine. Ruin my fun. Let’s all take the BORING tour.
Reshiram: It’s best that you start the tour, before I show every dimension universe wide what songs you listen on your iPod.
Zekrom: O_O LET US COMMENCE. *grabs one of the cameras and faces it to the cameramen* These are our cameramen… I mean women… Whatever gender they are!
*the camera showcases the five camera things. Kyurem is still chewing on his chew toy, Genesect is STILL rocking himself in the corner, Deoxys is fixing one of the cameras and Mesprit is messing with Azelf. *
Zekrom: You might be wondering how these cameras are able to capture our entire bodies, even though we’re massive. For the sole purpose of not making your mind explode from thinking to hard, let’s just say a wizard did it.
Deoxys: THEY DON’T EXIST.
Zekrom: *rolls eyes and faces the camera towards Meloetta and her improvised orchestra* Here we have Meloetta and the “Kricket Ensemble”. They shall be the ones to add music to our shows.
Meloetta: Maybe you should get the camera away from me. I think going to go diva.
Zekrom: *turning away the camera* What do you-
Meloetta: *grabs camera* LISTEN UP B****, this is MY f***ing camera, meaning it’s only supposed to show my lovely face. NOW GET THE F*** OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE I GRAB YOU BY THE TAIL, F*** YOU, MAKE YOU HAVE MY BABIES AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR- *knocked out by a frying pan wielded by Genesect*
Genesect: I thought she’d never shut up.
Zekrom: *twitching violently*
Reshiram: Anyway… Here we have something that should allow you to call in and ask our future guests questions. *showcases a can with a string attached*
Mesprit: … What in the name of Sloppy McCoy is THAT?
Azelf: Sloppy McCoy?
Reshiram: What? It was for economical purposes!
Genesect: Actually, if I recall correctly, you said it was for “SAVING THE ENVIROMENT FROM THE MAN”. You then proceeded to burn National Park. You know, the one where we were collecting old cans for recycling into these things?
Reshiram: When did you become so sarcastically wise?
Genesect: When you loaded the Douse Drive into my system.
Azelf: By the way, how did the humans not notice us legendaries picking up trash in broad daylight?
*everyone looks at Kyurem*
Kyurem: *still chewing the chew toy* *accidentally freezes it* … *eats it*
Reshiram: I suddenly hope that tiny little detail was just pure luck.
*everyone gets the shivers*
Reshiram: Anyway, during the show, random portals will appear in your houses. The portals will contain cans attached to strings, all of which directly connected to the studio. Just pick them up and ask away!
Zekrom: *still twitching*
Reshiram: *rolls eyes and slaps Zekrom* Snap out of it you big baby.
Zekrom: *snaps out of it* Ugh… I never thought I’d tell you this, but thank you.
Artificial Crowd: Aw…
Reshiram: Ah yes, the Artificial Crowd. It’s for sound effects like clapping and such. Zekrom, be a dear and show them the Crowd.
Zekrom: Just because I thanked you doesn’t mean I’m your slave.
Reshiram: You’re right, it doesn’t. It actually means you’re my b****. NOW WORK YOU IDIOTIC DRAGON.
Zekrom: *gulps* Yes ma’am. *grabs a camera and showcases the artificial crowd*
*The Artificial Crowd is consisted of simple, stick figure robots, all of them with bloody red eyes. They’re all quite similar, although there’s one with a machete, one with a laptop and one with a sign saying “WE WILL RULE THE WORLD AND MAKE YOU OUR SLAVES”*
Zekrom: They’re adorable.
*the can starts shaking*
Reshiram: *picks up the can* Hello?
Reshiram: O_O ARCEUS?!
Arceus: There is no need to yell. Anyway, I’m coming home right now.
Reshiram: But I thought you were only coming back tomorrow!
Arceus: I was but… Well, let’s just say we had a little fight and that we might be facing an inter-dimensional war soon. Anyway, I’ll be there in five minutes. *crash is heard through the can* … Make that ten. *hangs up*
Reshiram: DISSASSEMBLE THE STUDIO! THE LLAMA GOD IS COMING!
Mesprit: But we need a musical performance!
*everyone looks at Meloetta*
Meloetta: *regained her senses a while ago* *sighs* Fine. *gets on the musical stage*
*Opera music fills the studio. However, it sounds slightly like…*
Meloetta: *in opera voice*
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream...
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream…
*Every single Legendary jaw drops*
Zekrom: You’re kidding.
Meloetta: Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream...
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life. Is. BUT. A. DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
Zekrom: And that’s the end of our show! Send any fan mail to our postal address which will appear on screen now.
*cameras now have the postal address of the Hall of Origin in front of their lenses*
Reshiram: WHO CARES! DISSASSEMBLE THIS F***ING STUDIO BEFORE THE CRAZY HAG ARRIVES!
Zekrom: But you’re already here.
Reshiram: *plays Zekrom’s iPod*
iPod: *plays* It’s raining men…
It’s raining men..
*roars of laughter throughout the Hall*
*pink portal opens*
*Hall goes silent*
Mesprit:END THE BROADCAST! DESTROY THE STUDIO!
*More chaos. Cresselia and Darkrai get rid of every single sofa, while Meloetta gets rid of the Kricket Ensemble. Mewtwo and Deoxys take down the walls. Kyurem gobbles up every single camera while Groudon gets rid of the Artificial Crowd.*
Arceus: *steps through the portal* … I have a feeling that you’re up to something… *gets closer to Azelf* Is there something you want to tell me... Azelf?
Azelf: O_O *panics* ME AND MESPRIT ARE ENGAGED!
Arceus: I’ll admit, I didn’t expect that one.
Zekrom: Does that mean your buying this?
Arceus: What did you say?
Zekrom: I said are you going to arrange the wedding date?
Arceus: Of course! I’ll arrange the chapel and the honeymoon. *leaves*
Mesprit: *eye twitches*
Reshiram: Huh… This might actually get interesting.
And there we have it. Please Read and Review! *bows*