Max finally suffered his first loss. It's good that he didn't win this time because it would unrealistic if Max wouldn't ever lose. It's good if he wins most of his battles in future but make sure he loses sometimes.
I liked Sho appearing in your fan-fic. However, I think he was a bit out of character: He has shown to arrogant but not as cruel as he was in your fan-fic. When Ash' Pikachu defeated his Raichu, he admitted that Ash's Pikachu is strong and that he was wrong.
I liked Max taking care of Elekid and I'm pretty sure that that's the Elekid Max is gonna get.
I was disappointed when Max learned that he has to go to New Mauville before being able to challenge Wattson's gym but I quess Max getting Elekid later makes it up.
Also, this is not really a criticism to your chapter but it is an advice for you: Make sure you show on-screen training quite often. I understand you can't show it always but make sure you show it often. Some chapters could start that way that Max is training.
And I hope that Team Aqua and (if Team Magma appear) Team Magma will often appear. I really wonder whether or not Team Aqua has changed.
Welcome back Charizard! I've missed you so much! <3