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Thread: Max's New Adventures

  1. #426

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    ^ that was what i thought when i saw the ending. that or his friend from earlier.
    岩根雅明=♡

  2. #427
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    The battle was interesting and well planned out; I can tell your getting a lot better at writing. (: I'm also assuming the boy in the end is Ash?
    If so I can't wait to see what's gonna happen next.

    Quote Originally Posted by RealRaymon View Post
    (Suddenly black haired boy with a red cap comes out...Max is stunned and is happy to see...)
    The only errors that caught my attention were that you forgot to insert "him" in the end there, and I would probably replace "and" with "but". Those are pretty minor mistakes.

    Black 2 team

    Soul Silver Team


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  3. #428
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    Is it weird that I thought the battle was better with the music playing in the background? Anyway, I thought it was very exciting and gave me some tips on how to handle battles in my fics.
    That's why I give a link before the battle
    Quote Originally Posted by Pokemon,master View Post
    Ash!!!!!!!!!!
    LOLed here
    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    ^ that was what i thought when i saw the ending. that or his friend from earlier.
    Well, only one of Max's friend deserves that treatment like I did.
    Quote Originally Posted by MaidensGhost View Post
    The battle was interesting and well planned out; I can tell your getting a lot better at writing. (: I'm also assuming the boy in the end is Ash?
    If so I can't wait to see what's gonna happen next.
    The only errors that caught my attention were that you forgot to insert "him" in the end there, and I would probably replace "and" with "but". Those are pretty minor mistakes.
    Welcome back! I missed you!
    I corrected this errors, thanks

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    The chapter was very good with some cool attacks like Flamethrower on Manectric,use of Grovyle's ability and most importantly Mud Shot on the ground.But the only thing which surprised me was that Wattson didn't have any strategies against Ground type Pokemon even though he mentioned it.Like Manectric could have Ice Fang because that's the only SE attack against Ground types in the movepool of all his Pokemon.Anyways,I think the boy in the end was Ash but lets see.

    The only mistake i noticed was:

    Max: “You was awesome, Elekid, thanks!” (Returns Elekid.)

    Here,was should be replaced with were.
        Spoiler:- Completed and Current Playthroughs:

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    Quote Originally Posted by RealRaymon View Post
    I won't let you wait longer! Here is the 2nd part!
    Really tried to put every bit of my writing skills into it.
    Please enjoy it And, of course, the Hoenn gym leader music.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu4lE...eature=related

    The 27th Chapter: Electrifying gym battle! (Part Two)

    Wattson: “Great job, Magneton! Return!”

    Max: “You was (Was? Really? It's supposed to be WERE) awesome, Elekid, thanks!” (Returns Elekid.)

    Wattson (looks at Max and at the same time takes other Pokeball): “It is time for the 2nd round! Go, Electrode!”

    Electrode: “Elek!” (Looks at Max with a grin.)

    (Max checks Electrode’s data in Pokedex.)

    Pokedex: “Electrode, the ball Pokemon. The evolved form of Voltorb. Highly concentrated electric energy causes this Pokémon to explode unpredictably. Also known as the Bomb-ball.”

    Max (after a thought): “Grovyle, I choose you!”

    Grovyle: “Grovyle!”

    Max: “Let’s win this thing!”

    Grovyle: “Grovyle!”

    Max: “Go Grovyle, Leaf Blade!“

    (Grovyle’s leafs start shining green and look like two blades.)

    Wattson: “Use Signal beam!”

    (Electrode fires A (Frogot an a) pink coloured beam.)

    Grovyle: “Grov!” (Jumpes and dodges the attack) “Vyle!” (Strikes Electrode.)

    Max: “Now Dig!”

    Wattson: “Electrode, stay strong! Use Charge!”

    Max: “Now, (prettycsure there should be a comma there) attack!”

    Grovyle: “Vyle!” (Hits Electrode!)

    Electrode: “Trode…!” (Shakes)

    Wattson: “Thunder!”

    Electrode (grins): “Eleek…” (Starts charging power.)

    Max: “Use Dig again!”

    Grovyle: “Grov!” (Starts digging a hole.)

    Electrode: “Trode!”

    (Elektrode unleashes a powerful Thunder and hits Grovyle hard. Grovyle falls on the ground.)

    Max: “No, Grovyle!” (Looks at Wattson) “Why did your Electrode attack so fast?”

    Wattson: “You see, Electrode used Charge before that, and I not only increased the power of Thunder, but I decreased the time of using it as well. Ahahaha!“

    Max (looks at Grovyle): “What? Grovyle?”

    Grovyle: “Grovvv…” (starts glowing.)

    (Grovyle stands up and its body starts glowing green.)

    Max: “All right, it's ("it is" reads awkwardly) Overgrow!”

    Wattson: “Electrode, quick, Rollout!”

    Electrode: “Trode!” (Rolls towards Grovyle.)

    Max: “Get close!”

    Grovyle: “Grovyle!”

    Wattson (thinking): ‘Grovyle stands no chance against Electrode’s Rollout.’

    (Two Pokemon head into each other as Electrode rolls and Grovyle gets ready to use a Bullet Seed attack. When Electrode gets very close…)

    Max: “Now dodge!“

    (Grovyle jumps and dodges the attack.)

    Wattson (surprised): “What?”

    Max: “Use Bullet Seed!”

    (Grovyle fires seeds at Electrode and the latter keeps rolling and rolls with all its power into the wall.)

    Wattson: “Electrode?”

    Electrode (with spiral eyes): “Elec…trode..”

    Max: “Great Grovyle!”

    Grovyle (stands in a cool pose): “Vyle!”

    Wattson (returns Electrode): “Thanks Electrode.” (Then takes another Pokeball) “You are battling great Max.”

    Max: “Thanks sir.”

    Wattson: “But now it’s my time to rumble! Go Manectric!”

    Manectric (comes out and looks confident): “Manectric!!”

    Max: “Ok, Leaf Blade!”

    Grovyle: “Vyle!”

    (Grovyle gets in close and prepares to strike.)

    Wattson (grins): “ Use Flamethrower, Manectric!”

    Manectric: “Ma…Nectric!”

    (Manectric fires a red-orange stream of fire from its mouth at Grovyle. Grovyle is hit and falls on the ground.)

    Max: "Try to stand up Grovyle!"

    Grovyle: (Shakes, but stands up): "Grovyle!"

    Max: "That's kind of spirit!" (this sentence doesn't really make sense)

    Grovyle (nods): "Grovyle!"

    Max: "Try Dig!"

    Grovyle: "Grovyle!"

    Wattson: "Relax and use Charge!"

    Manectric (closes eyes and builds up electricity around it): "Tric..."

    Grovyle: "Vyle!" (Strikes it into the body.)

    Wattson: "Thunder!"

    Manectric: “Tric!” (Unleashes a powerful bolt at Grovyle, zapping not only Grovyle. but also everything around it. Grovyle falls again.)

    Grovyle (tries to stand up): "Grovyle..." (falls on the ground with spiral eyes.)

    Wattson's assistant: "Grovyle is unable to battle! Manectric is the winner!"

    Manectric (lets out a battle roar): "Manectric!"

    Max: "You were great, return!" (Takes his third Pokeball.)

    Wattson: "You are quite impressed, aren't you?"

    Max: "I sure am! But the battle is far from over. Go, Marshtomp!"

    Marshtomp (comes out and smiles): "Marshtomp!"

    Max: "I am counting on you, pal!"

    Marshtomp (nods): "Marsh."

    Wattson: "A ground type, huh? Don't you think that I can cope with them?"

    Max: "We'll see about that." (To Marshtomp) "Use Mud Shot!"

    Marshtomp: "Marsh...tomp!" (Fires many small balls of mud into Manectric and successfully hits it.)

    Manectric (shakes head to clean its' face from the Mud): "Man..."

    Max: "Tackle it!"

    Marshtomp: "Marsh..."

    Wattson: "Manectric, use Giga Impact!"

    Max (surprised): "What?"

    (Manectric becomes surrounded by an orange sphere of energy and it strikes Marshtomp, sending it into the wall of the gym.)

    Marshtomp (shakes): "Marsh..."

    Max: "I know that it should take time to recharge, so use Water Gun!"

    Marshtomp: "Marsh..." (Blasts water from its mouth) "Tomp!" (Hits Manectric at its body, but then corrects the aim and keeps blasting its attack at Manectric's face.)

    Manectric (finally has power to counter): "Man!"

    Wattson: "Let's finish this! Use Giga Impact once more!"

    Manectric (starts running): "Man..."

    Max (thinks what to do): "What should I do to stop it?" (Then suddenly brings up an idea) "Of course! Marshtomp, use Mud Shot on the ground."

    Marshtomp (smiles as he understands what its trainer tries to do.): "Marsh...tomp!"

    (Marshtomp fires a Mud Shot at a ground and the ground becomes muddy and Manectric slips and falls on the ground.)

    Wattson: "No, Manectric!"

    Max: "Now, we'll finish this! Tackle it, Marshtomp!"

    (Marshtomp starts running and hits Manectric at a very high speed, pushing Manectric on several meters.)

    Manectric (tries to stands up): "Man..." (Stands up.)

    Max: "It still has energy to battle?"

    Wattson: "My Manectric is strong! Manectric, use Flamethrower!"

    Manectric: "Manectric!" (Fires flames at Marshtomp.)

    Max: "Water Gun!"

    Marshtomp: "Marsh!"

    (Water Gun and Flamethrower collide, and, for some reason, are of equal power.)

    Wattson: "Ok, use Quick Attack!"

    (Manectric runs towards Marshtomp.)

    Max: "Tackle!"

    (The Pokemon hit and push each other. Then they look at each others' faces. Marshtomp looks at its opponent with a serious and calm look, and Manectric looks at the Mud fish Pokemon the same way. After some time, Manectric closes its eyes and falls on the ground.)

    Wattson's assistant: "Manectric is unable to battle! Therefore, the winner is Max from Petalburg City!"

    Max: "Yes! I did it!"

    Marshtomp (falls on its back and smiles calmly): "Marsh..."

    Wattson (returns Manectric): "You were great as always, return!"

    Max (comes to Marshtomp and helps it to get up): "You were simply awesome, Marshtomp!"

    Marshtomp (smiles): "Marsh!"

    (Wattson and his assistant come closer. Wattson asks his assistant to take the badge of his bag.)

    Wattson (to Max): "Max, I really liked the way you battled, thanks! And here is your well deserved prize for your truly great victory over me. Please take this Dynamo Badge!"

    Max: "Thank you so much!" (Takes the yellow coloured badge that is shaped like a coiled wire.)

    Wattson: "What will you do next?"

    Max: "I will search for my friend!"

    Wattson: "I wish you the best of luck then! And I hope your batteries won't run dry! Ahahaha!" (Laughs.)

    Max: "Oh well." (Laughs as well.)

    (After that Max is shown in the Pokemon Center, chatting with his parents.)

    Norman: "A new badge? I am really proud of you, son!"

    Caroline: "I am too, honey! Oh, yeah." (Turns back and looks for somebody.)

    (Suddenly black haired boy with a red cap comes out...Max is stunned but is happy to see him...)

    The end of the 27th Chapter.
    I like it.

    Comments in BOLD.


    ... Ash again? It's pretty good, but doesn't Ash have things to do? And if it happens too much, it just seems like he's there for the sake of being there.

  6. #431
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    Quote Originally Posted by amittal12 View Post
    The chapter was very good with some cool attacks like Flamethrower on Manectric,use of Grovyle's ability and most importantly Mud Shot on the ground.But the only thing which surprised me was that Wattson didn't have any strategies against Ground type Pokemon even though he mentioned it.Like Manectric could have Ice Fang because that's the only SE attack against Ground types in the movepool of all his Pokemon.Anyways,I think the boy in the end was Ash but lets see.

    The only mistake i noticed was:

    Max: “You was awesome, Elekid, thanks!” (Returns Elekid.)

    Here,was should be replaced with were.
    Thanks!)I really tried to put my best in this chapter, and, frankly speaking, I think this gym battle is the best battle in my fic,
    Well, Wattson had a Giga Impact that surprised both Max and Marshtomp. And this is a very powerful attack. I guess Wattson was talking about Giga Impact as the way of coping with the ground types. I corrected the mistake you mentioned, thanks for noticing it.
    Quote Originally Posted by dirkac View Post
    I like it.

    Comments in BOLD.


    ... Ash again? It's pretty good, but doesn't Ash have things to do? And if it happens too much, it just seems like he's there for the sake of being there.
    Thanks!

    I corrected the mistakes

    Who told you that it is Ash? And not Randy...
    Annyways, I won't spoil anything
    Last edited by RealRaymon; 17th December 2012 at 12:41 PM.

  7. #432
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    Hi, a good chapter. A satisfying finish to a very well thought battle. Good detail and description of moves. I was surprised at grovyle's endurance and i think max's battle strategy was extremely well thought through. I am pleased with the outcome and i commend you on the battle music at the start of every chapter. Good ending and am looking forward to the purpose of this 'mysterious' character.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaddysTurtwigFanClub View Post
    Hi, a good chapter. A satisfying finish to a very well thought battle. Good detail and description of moves. I was surprised at grovyle's endurance and i think max's battle strategy was extremely well thought through. I am pleased with the outcome and i commend you on the battle music at the start of every chapter. Good ending and am looking forward to the purpose of this 'mysterious' character.
    Glad you liked it Well, Grovyle's endurance was good, but not that good. Before getting down, it took only Thunder(with twice more power), but it resists it, and FlamethrowerWell, it is a good endurance without a question, but not unbeliavable)
    Well, yeah,, it is the first time, when I could transform into words all that staff that I was imagining.
    Thank you on commending me! All is 4 you, my dear readers.

    P.S.Thank you very much for nominating me as a fic writer (and a funniest person) of the year. It was really touching and great to see me in this poll, Thank you

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    Quote Originally Posted by RealRaymon View Post
    Max: "That's kind of spirit!"
    [/SIZE][/B]
    That's the kind of spirit, I think

    Nice end of the battle! I honestly thought Grovyle would lose to Electrode and Marshtomp would beat the last 2 Pokemon, but I liked it this way! Cool to see Manectric use Giga Impact I can only imagine Ash coming back now haha, nice job man!

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSirPeras View Post
    That's the kind of spirit, I think

    Nice end of the battle! I honestly thought Grovyle would lose to Electrode and Marshtomp would beat the last 2 Pokemon, but I liked it this way! Cool to see Manectric use Giga Impact I can only imagine Ash coming back now haha, nice job man!
    Thanks for the comment!
    Okay guys, it is ASH! But I won't tell you why he is in Hoenn untill the next Chapter is out

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    Quote Originally Posted by RealRaymon View Post
    Thanks for the comment!
    Okay guys, it is ASH! But I won't tell you why he is in Hoenn untill the next Chapter is out
    Haha no problem
    Speculation Time xD
    I think it would be awesome if Ash was visiting because of:
    A- Butterfree went to Hoenn xD
    B- A tournament

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSirPeras View Post
    Haha no problem
    Speculation Time xD
    I think it would be awesome if Ash was visiting because of:
    A- Butterfree went to Hoenn xD
    B- A tournament
    Haha) Okay, you may start speculating, guys.

  13. #438
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    It depends on the time frame...has Ash left Unova yet, or is this prior to Unova?
    PS: Mind giving mine a read?
    Last edited by Xragon; 18th December 2012 at 6:50 AM.
    Check out my FanFic: In the Eyes of Damon (PG)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xragon View Post
    It depends on the time frame...has Ash left Unova yet, or is this prior to Unova?
    No, guys, read Chapter 13:

    Max: “Yeah. And how is your journey?”

    Ash: “I just came back from the Sinnoh region. I was in a Top-4 in the Tournament!”

  15. #440

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    Loved the chapter but i'll start with the bad grammar and stuff so i don't forget where they are:

    Wattson: “Great job, Magneton! Return!”

    Max: “You were awesome, Elekid, thanks!” (Returns Elekid.)
    So Max returns his pokemon but Wattson doesn't? (Returns Magneton) needs to be after Wattson's speach, too.

    (Grovyle’s leafs start shining green and look like two blades.)
    Leaves not leafs

    Grovyle: “Grov!” (Jumpes and dodges the attack) “Vyle!” (Strikes Electrode.)
    Jumps, there is no 'e'

    Max: "That's kind of spirit!"
    it needs a the befoe 'kind'

    Wattson's assistant: "Grovyle is unable to battle! Manectric is the winner!"
    the assistant says this when Grovlye faints but not when Magneton faints.
    That's all the faults i found so on to the positives:
    I love the addition of Flamethrower and Giga Impact to Manectric's movepool and the addition of Ash at the end. I like the use of Overgrow (for a second i thought he would evolve when he gegan to glow lol). I thought Manectrics characterization of being very confident was good, as well.
    Good battle I can't wait for what is going on with Ash and when we finally get to see Ralts again. (It would be a nice twist if it had evolved but i guess your sig shows otherwise)
    Everything seems normal, with Joe and Adam venturing on their quest through Kanto, but what is the mysterious Team Storm planning?

    Pokemon: Kanto Legends

    Come on the Mighty Infernape!

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    Quote Originally Posted by infernape100 View Post
    Loved the chapter but i'll start with the bad grammar and stuff so i don't forget where they are:

    So Max returns his pokemon but Wattson doesn't? (Returns Magneton) needs to be after Wattson's speach, too.

    Leaves not leafs

    Jumps, there is no 'e'

    it needs a the befoe 'kind'

    the assistant says this when Grovlye faints but not when Magneton faints.
    That's all the faults i found so on to the positives:
    I love the addition of Flamethrower and Giga Impact to Manectric's movepool and the addition of Ash at the end. I like the use of Overgrow (for a second i thought he would evolve when he began to glow lol). I thought Manectrics characterization of being very confident was good, as well.
    Good battle I can't wait for what is going on with Ash and when we finally get to see Ralts again. (It would be a nice twist if it had evolved but i guess your sig shows otherwise)
    Wattson returned it in the previous chapter:
    (Wattson is surprised and returns Magneton.)
    but I'll add it, thanks)
    oh yeah, leaves...
    yeah, jumps without e
    okay, I'll add it
    You meant not when Electrode fainted? Yeah, I forgot...)

    Glad you liked itYeah, Ralts won't evolve before Max finds it.
    And you'll see Ralts in 1-2 Chapters. And...I won't tell moreI don't want to spoil anything.
    Last edited by RealRaymon; 19th December 2012 at 6:33 PM.

  17. #442

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    Oh yeah sorry about the thing with the return. Omg i can't wait to see ralts... maybe it has somehting to do with Ash?????
    Everything seems normal, with Joe and Adam venturing on their quest through Kanto, but what is the mysterious Team Storm planning?

    Pokemon: Kanto Legends

    Come on the Mighty Infernape!

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    Quote Originally Posted by infernape100 View Post
    Oh yeah sorry about the thing with the return.

    Omg i can't wait to see ralts... maybe it has somehting to do with Ash?????
    It's ok)

    Not exactly. But you'll see

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    I find it funny max didnt beat mantric easy even thow he had type advantage

    I love how you use mudshot to make comback

    an when did max mudkip evolved

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    Quote Originally Posted by lucario750 View Post
    I find it funny max didnt beat mantric easy even thow he had type advantage

    I love how you use mudshot to make comback

    an when did max mudkip evolved
    Thanks
    it evolved here:
    The 22nd Chapter: Fight your fear, Mudkip!

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    I didn't know Manectric could learn flame thrower! COOL! :3

    I liked the "Calm and Serious look" part, as well...Cool battle! :3
    Riku from kingdom hearts is so hot :P

    ^ rawr :P ITS A LION ADD THING. XD

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trioxhydre View Post
    I didn't know Manectric could learn flame thrower! COOL! :3

    I liked the "Calm and Serious look" part, as well...Cool battle! :3
    Oh! Welcome!I'm glad that you are here again!)
    Yeah, I really tried to put my best in this chapter, so I am actually happy that you liked it.

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    I think this was a very good chapter.

    The battle between Grovyle and Electrode was very good, and I didn't expect Overgrow. And of course the battle between Marshtomp and Manectric was great. It was intense and it was surprising that Marshtomp's Water Gun and Manectric's Flamethrower were on equal power but it kind of showed Manectric's strenght.

    And it's definitely nice to see a good old Ash again. I wonder why he has come to Hoenn, though.
    Welcome back Charizard! I've missed you so much! <3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Charizard-Fan View Post
    I think this was a very good chapter.

    The battle between Grovyle and Electrode was very good, and I didn't expect Overgrow. And of course the battle between Marshtomp and Manectric was great. It was intense and it was surprising that Marshtomp's Water Gun and Manectric's Flamethrower were on equal power but it kind of showed Manectric's strenght.

    And it's definitely nice to see a good old Ash again. I wonder why he has come to Hoenn, though.
    Thank you)
    I can give you the answer on the reason Ash returned. But only after the next Chapter

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    A new Chapter for you! It is a filler, but includes moments in the Past, the Present and the Future, and some of old characters appear. Also...you'll see

    The 28th Chapter: What's next, Max?

    (Max is shown in the Pokemon Center, chatting with his parents.)

    Norman: "A new badge? I am really proud of you, son!"

    Caroline: "I am too, honey! Oh, yeah." (Turns back and looks for somebody.)

    (Suddenly a black haired boy with a red cap comes out...Max is stunned and is happy to see him.)

    Max (happily): "I can't believe it, Ash! What are you doing here?" (To Pikachu) "Hi, Pikachu!"

    Pikachu (smiles): "Pikachu!"

    Ash: "I am glad to see you, Max! You know, I called Norman the other day, and he told me about new kind of tournaments that are starting in Hoenn very soon." (Looks at Norman and asks) "What are they called, Norman?"

    Norman: "Specialty tournaments."

    Ash: "Yeah."

    Norman (To Ash): "Let me take it from here." (To Max) "These tournaments are specialized on a single type of Pokemon, so each trainer in each battle is allowed to use only one type of Pokemon throughout the tourney."

    Max: "That sounds cool! And where will be the first one?"

    Norman: "In Sootopolis City!"

    Caroline (from the other room): "Norman, dear, help me to take the flour from the shelf."

    Norman: "One moment, dear." (Leaves the room.)

    Max: "So, do you know when the tournament starts?"

    Ash: "In two days! Isn't that cool?"

    Max: "Yeah! But Ash, will you be able to get to Sootopolis so quickly?"

    Ash: "You can count on me! By the way, how many badges do you have?"

    Max (takes the badge case out of his bag, opens it and answers with a very proud voice): "Three. And I have beaten Wattson today!"

    Ash: "That's awesome, Max!"

    Pikachu: "Pi-pika!"

    Max: "Thanks! Ash, can you call my Mom, please?"

    Ash: "Sure!" (Walks in the other room.) "Caroline, Max wants to talk to you."

    Caroline (smiles): "Sure!" (Comes to the videophone) "Yeah, Max?"

    Max: "Mom, how is May doing? Did you call her?"

    Caroline: "Yeah! She's been really busy. She has already earned her fourth ribbon."

    Max: "That's good news." (Yawns) "A-a-a-aww... Oh, I am worn out."

    Caroline: "Oh, I understand, good night dear!"

    Ash: "Bye, Max!"

    Pikachu: "Pika!"

    Max: "Bye, everyone!" (Turns off the videophone and comes to a Nurse Joy) “Hi, Nurse Joy!!”

    Nurse Joy: “Hi, Max! How did your battle go?”

    Max: “I won a badge, thanks Nurse Joy for healing my Pokemon!.”

    Nurse Joy (smiles): “Oh, no problem! And you know, we have free rooms upstairs.”

    Max: “Oh, that's awesome! Thank you!”

    Nurse Joy: “You are welcome! Chansey, show him the room!”

    Chansey: “Chansey!”

    (Chansey shows him the room.)

    Max: “Thanks Chansey!”

    Chansey (nods): “Chansey.”

    (Max lies in his bed and turns the light off. Max can't fall asleep, he remembers himself and Ralts.)

    ------------------------------------------------------

    Max (to Ralts): “Goodbye Ralts, you take care. Be good, okay?”

    Ralts (surprised): “Ra-alts?”

    (Raltstarts crying, runs and jumps into Max’s hands.)

    Max (cries too): “Oh, Ralts, I love you too!”

    (Gardevoir, Kirlia, Ash, Brock, May and Nurse Joy stand near a Pokemon Center and a wind takes leaves by a blow. Max and Ralts are still hugging,)

    Max: “Time to go now…”

    Ralts (doesn’t want to go) “Ra-aalts. Raa-lts…”

    Max (answers with a serious voice): I don’t want to go either. But we don’t have the other choice. What do you think when I become older and maybe you want to travel with me?”

    Ralts (answers happily and nods): “Ralts. Ralts!”

    Max (happy too): “That's awesome, so you can hope that I'll come back some day.”

    Ralts: “Ralts!”

    (Kirlia and Gardevoir tell Ralts that it is time to go.)

    Max: “So, that’s a deal.”

    (Max looks at Gardevoir.)

    Gardevoir (agrees and nods): “Garde-voir!”

    (Then Gardevoir, Kirlia and Ralts disappear)

    Ralts (tells Max): “Promise me Max, promise that you’ll come back to take me.”

    Max (answers loudly): “Yes Ralts! I promise I will come back for you! I will!”

    ------------------------------------------------------

    Max: “I made a promise”. (Makes a pause and says with a deep voice). I promised to come back for it.” (Finally falls asleep.)

    (Max sleeps through all night and wakes up.)

    Max (takes the clothes up): "I am coming, Ralts!"

    (Max goes downstairs.)

    Nurse Joy: "Good morning!"

    Max: "Good morning, Nurse Joy!"

    Nurse Joy: "So, where are you going now?"

    Max: "I am going to find my friend!"

    Nurse Joy: "Best of luck to you!"

    Max: "Thanks a lot!" (Comes out of the Pokemon Center.)

    (Max comes out and sees a boy in a blue T-shirt, red shirts and a blue cyclist cap on him.)

    Max (exclaims): "Benjamin!"

    Benjamin: "Oh, hi there! How are you doing?"

    Max: "Great, I've earned my third badge!"

    Benjamin: "Wow! You know, I was thinking how could I help you...I am sorry for what happened to Mudkip..."

    Max: "Ahh...that's ok...Don't worry!"

    Benjamin: "Yeah, but still.."

    Max (thinks): "Well...Oh yeah, can you take me to Slateport City?"

    Benjamin: "Of course I can. We will get there in no time."

    (They sit on Benjamin's bike and they head to Slateport City.)

    The end of the 28th Chapter.
    Last edited by RealRaymon; 6th January 2013 at 2:09 PM.

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