:D
Oh yeah, like this.Originally Posted by RealRaymon
It seems disjointed, like when you say it out loud with a comma before, "which surround it" But the rest is fine since it fits your writing style.(Ash, Dawn and Max find a practice battlefield in the backside of the Pokemon Center. There is a sandy battlefield with many trees, which surround it, and a lot of boulders, which lie on the battlefield.)
Call me Raymon=)
Wow, guys, I haven't expected to finish it 0_0
But, the earlier - the better, I guess
So, enjoy it!)
The 32nd Chapter: Training never hurts!
???: "B-w-a-a-hh!"
Max: "What's that?"
Dawn: "I think it was...from above?"
Max: "Hey!" (Looks at the sky and sees an orange figure in the sky, that comes closer to them) "It's Charizard!"
(The figure comes very close.)
Dawn (with a very surprised voice): "And it's Ash! And Pikachu!"
Ash: "Hey, guys!"
Charizard: "Bwaah!"
Ash: "I told you that I will come here in time!"
Max: "You did, but I am still surprised."
(Ash lands. Max and Dawn are smiling and look at Ash. Dawn comes closer.)
Dawn: “I am so glad to see you!” (They give each other a high five.)
Max: “So, it means that you know each other.”
Dawn: “Yes. Ash was my traveling companion in Sinnoh!”
Ash: “And Brock traveled with us, too!”
Pikachu (nods): “Pika.”
Max: “That’s awesome! And, Ash, I am so glad to see you again!”
Ash: “Yeah. I am glad to see you too, Max!”
(Dawn looks carefully at Charizard, then she looks at Ash.)
Dawn (with a surprised voice): "I didn't know you had a Charizard..."
Ash: "Well, I sent Charizard training to the Charific Valley in Johto, just like I did with Gliscor. But Charizard comes back to me when I need it." (Looks at Charizard) "Right?"
Charizard (nods): "Chari-zard."
Max: "And Charizard isn't only the one Pokemon that is training apart from Ash."
Dawn: "Really?"
Max (answers with an all-knowing voice): "He has a Squirtle as well."
Ash: "Right. But Max, I'd like to know more about you. Tell me, which Pokemon have you caught?"
Max: "One moment, Ash." (Max takes all of his Pokeballs and releases his Pokemon) "Here they are Ash!"
(Pokemon appear.)
Grovyle (stands in a serious and calm pose): "Grov."
Taillow (flaps its wings and greets Ash): "Taillow!"
Marshtomp (smiles as usual): "Marsh!"
Elekid (smirks and spins its arms): 'Bwii!"
Ralts (comes out and looks around): "Ralts."
Ash: "So, your Treecko and Mudkip have evolved. Great job, Max!"
Max: "Thanks, Ash!"
Elekid (tries to attract Ash's attention by generating electricity): "Bwii!"
Ash: "Elekid, you look like a very cool Pokemon!"
Elekid (becomes embarrassed): "Bwii-bwii..."
Ash: "Taillow, nice to see you, you are looking great!"
Taillow (smiles): "Taillow!"
Ash: "And..." (Looks at Max) "Isn't it the same Ralts that I have seen before?"
Max: "It is. I have found it! I am so glad that we are finally together."
Ash: "That's awesome, Max! I am really happy for you."
Max: "Thanks."
Dawn: "Hey, guys, enough of talking already. Don't you want to practice before tomorrow's battles?"
Ash: "Of course we do!"
Max: "Let's find some place for training!" (Looks at Pokemon) "Okay, guys, return!" (Max returns the Pokemon.)
(Ash, Dawn and Max find a practice battlefield in the backside of the Pokemon Center. There is a sandy battlefield with many trees, which surround it, and a lot of boulders, which lie on the battlefield.)
Dawn: "Piplup, let's practice some moves."
Piplup (nods): "Pi-piplup!"
Max (throws a Pokeball): "Marshtomp, I need you again, pal!"
Marshtomp (looks serious): "Marsh."
Max: "Let's practice for our battle tomorrow!"
Marshtomp (agrees): "Marsh."
Ash: "Go, Kingler!"
(Kingler comes out of its Pokeball. It looks powerful, and it shows the power of its Pincir by smashing it into the ground.)
Dawn: "A Kingler?" (Takes her Pokedex and points it at Kingler)
Pokedex: " Kingler, the Pincer Pokémon. The evolved form of Krabby. Kingler's larger pincer has immensely powerful crushing strength, and its claws can pinch with the power of 10,000 horsepower."
Max: "So, you have brought Kingler with you?"
Ash: "Yup."
Dawn: "Ok. Piplup, use your Whirlpool!"
Piplup: "Piplup! Piiip..." (Piplup raises its arms and a large whirlpool appears above its head.) "Luup!" (Piplup throws the whirlpool at the nearby tree.)
Ash: "Kingler, use Crabhammer on the Whirlpool!"
Kingler: "Kuki!" (Runs towards the tree and stands against the Whirlpool. Than it jumps and smashes the Whirlpool using its powerful left pincer)
Ash: "Great job, Kingler!"
Kingler (nods): "Kuki."
Dawn (with a surprised voice): "Wow! It has much power for sure."
Piplup (agrees and looks at Kingler): "Piplup."
Ash: "Okay, Kingler use Crabhammer on this boulder." (Points at a boulder near the tree. Marshtomp comes closer to Kingler.)
(Kingler breaks the boulder in many rocks, and they are sent flying because of Kingler's powerful attack. Some rocks are directed in Marshtomp's way.)
Max (to Marshtomp): "Be careful!"
Marshtomp (stands in a calm and serious pose): "Marsh."
(It waits for the rocks. When they come closer, Marshtomp extends its' arms and stretches them. The rocks fall on its arms, and then they fall on the ground.)
Max: "Huh? Marshtomp, what are you doing, pal?"
Ash: "Hm. I think it was trying to smash those rocks."
Marshtomp (nods): "Marsh."
Ash: "Okay, then. Kingler, use Crabhammer again."
Kingler: "Kuki!"
(Kingler smashes the rock, but now it does it softly, and the boulder breaks into many rocks. he rocks are lying on the ground.)
Ash: "Now, throw them into Marshtomp! But not many."
Max: "Marshtomp, stay focused, and when the rocks will come very close, extend you arms and break them. I know you can do it!"
Marshtomp (nods): "Marsh."
Kingler: "Kuki!" (Throws rocks at Marshtomp, but does it carefully, not trying to hurt Marshtomp.)
Marshtomp (stand calmly): "Marsh." (The rocks come close.)
Max: "Now, break them!"
(Marshtomp extend its' arms once again. But this time it has a great desire to smash them and puts more power in it. Marshtomp waits for every rock and smashes each one.)
Max: "You did it, Marshtomp!"
Marshtomp (smiles): "Marsh!"
(Ash tells Kingler to repeat the procedure, and this time Marshtomp's arms glow white. Dawn and Piplup stand and watch at the training session between the two Pokemon.)
Dawn: "Marshtomp learned a new move! It looks like it learned Dynamicpunch!"
Ash: "Yes, you are right!"
Pikachu (with an excited voice): "Pikachu!"
Max: "That's awesome, Marshtomp!"
Marshtomp: "Marshtomp!"
Dawn: "Hey, Max, do you want to have a practice battle against my Piplup?"
Max: "Sure! Are you ready?" (Looks at Marshtomp.)
(Marshtomp nods.)
Dawn: "Piplup, let's start with Bubblebeam!"
Piplup: "Piplup!" (Jumps, starts quickly flapping its' wings and shoots a ray of bubbles at Marshtomp.)
Max: "Use Water Gun!"
Marshtomp: "Marsh!" (Blasts water from its mouth and counters Bubblebeam.)
Dawn: "That's fine! Use Whirlpool!"
Max: "Counter it with Mud Shot!"
(Piplup throws the Whirlpool, while Marshtomp fires many mud balls into the Whirlpool. Marshtomp keeps shooting and blasts the Whirlpool.)
Piplup (surprised that Mud Shot broke his Whirlpool): "Plup?"
Ash: "Let's stop it here. We don't need to tire our Pokemon, right?"
Dawn and Max: "Right."
Max: "You did a great job, Marshtomp!"
Marshtomp (with a happy voice): "Marsh!"
Dawn: "Piplup, you were great, as always."
Piplup (with a noble look): "Piplup."
Ash (looking at the sunset): "Well, it starts getting dark. Let's go into the Pokemon Center."
Pikachu: "Pikapi."
Dawn: "Yeah, that is a good idea."
(Ash, Pikachu, Dawn and Max go into the Pokemon Center. When they try to go to the entrance, they see a loud, rushing voice from behind.)
???: "Out of the way, out of the way, out of the way!"
(The unknown person runs with his Pokemon. The person bumps into Ash, and they fall on the ground.)
Ash (gets up): "What's the big idea?" (Then looks at the person and becomes surprised.)
(Max takes his Pokedex and checks the data of the Pokemon.)
Pokedex: "Empoleon, the Emperor Pokémon. Empoleon is Piplup's final evolved form. The three horns that extend from its beak attest to its power. The leader has the biggest horns. If anyone were to hurt its pride, it would slash them with wings that can cleave through an ice floe. "
Max (looks carefully at Empoleon): "Wow, an Empoleon..."
The end of the 32nd Chapter.
My comment on the chapter: Well, it had great interactions between the three water Pokemon. And I liked that I did a training Chapter, and that Marshtomp learned a new move.
Last edited by RealRaymon; 1st February 2013 at 1:12 PM.
Sceptile Maniac
It was a nice chapter.It was particularly surprising that out of all his Water Pokemon,Ash chose Kingler.It seemed pretty powerful.The interactions were good between the three Pokemon.But I didn't like the fact that the new move Marshtomp learned was Rock Smash(its too overpowered in the anime).I expect that the person at the end is Barry.
Spoiler:- Completed and Current Playthroughs:
Call me Raymon=)
Thanks. It didn't only choose Kingler. I have only shown Kingler in this Chapter. There will be many rounds, and not only Kingler will battle.
Rock Smash has 40 base power, so it is better than giving him Hammer Arm or Dynamicpunch.
And yes, it is him
The Reluctant Genius
:3 is that Barry at the end? Or is it Kenny who'se at his contest jurney in Hoenn like he said?
Choosing kingler was nice, instead of the complete overused Squirtle.
Though I dislike that Marshtomp learned Rock Smash, as it, like the above poster said, was pretty OPed in the real Anime.
Argh, can't you just let me sleep...
:3 I has it!
Clickee to go to the Rulers of the Universe.
Call me Raymon=)
Barry.
Complete overused Squirtle? He wasn't used since the Battle frontier, and he didn't appear in the Hoenn League + he battled only once in Johto.
Well, like I said in the above post, Kingler is not the only Pokemon Ash will use
I didn't want to give Marshtomp Brick Break, Elekid knows it. And it is too early for either Hammer Arm or Superpower. So, if you don't like Rock Smash, I'll change it to Dynamicpunch like I initially wanted
Last edited by RealRaymon; 1st February 2013 at 1:13 PM.
Banned
I love the budding romance between Max and Ash, keep up the good work!
Call me Raymon=)
Romance? They are good friends. I might have not understood you correctly, though.
Thanks
Last edited by RealRaymon; 1st February 2013 at 5:37 PM.
Banned
They're falling in love in front of our eyes it's beautiful!
Call me Raymon=)
Do you realize that you are talking on Homosexual topic?
Children may be reading my fic, and they can see your posts.
Luvin the t'wigs
Hi Raymon!
I'd like to say this chapter really did exceed my expectations. Ashs return, is good and I'm glad you used Kingler with his awesome crabhammer. Glad to see Marshtomp back in the limelight and getting dynamic punch. Content and description 100% as usual. This tournaments roster is increasing with Max, Dawn and Ash, and the possible inclusion of Barry! Could we see any more old faces? Great chapter
My shiny card, special thanks to Cha Chi
Luvin' the t'wigs <3
SHINY HUNTS:
Sring johto starters - Started 9th May (will complete)
Call me Raymon=)
Hi, Paddy!
As usual, thank you very much! Thanks for the nice words.
You'll see old faces in several hours(next chapter is coming). But it will be Juan and Wallace
Banned
Well It's just me commenting on the vibe I've been getting.
Max: “That’s awesome! And, Ash, I am so glad to see you again!”
Ash: “Yeah. I am glad to see you too, Max!”
Call me Raymon=)
Are you serious right now? I won't argue with you. But if you judged that this is romance by these lines, then you don't have real friends...
Banned
I fail to detect how the clear indication of romantic interest between two main characters within a internet Pokemon fan fiction is a direct indicator of popularity, care to explain further?
Boulder Trainer
Yeah I'm picking up on it too.
追放された。
Guys, friends can also be glad to see each other again, hell they can even tell each other than they love each other. I felt no bromantic vibe from that line whatsoever.
ゲーチスちゃんがすきや！
Call me Raymon=)
Topic closed.
Don't soam please.Yeah I'm picking up on it too.
Banned
Well you're clearly in the minority here
Call me Raymon=)
The 33rd Chapter: Round one, begin! (Part One)
Max: “Wow, an Empoleon!”
??? (gets up): “It is a pretty cool Pokemon, isn’t it?”
Ash (is surprised): “Barry! What are you doing here?”
Barry: “I'm participating in the Hoenn League! But now I am going to participate in the Water tournament.” (Looks at Dawn) “Oh, hi, Dawn!”
Dawn: “Hi!”
Max: “The Hoenn League?”
Barry: “Yes, so you better be ready, Ash! Because I’ll beat you this time!”
Ash (laughs and starts waving hands): “I am not entering the Hoenn League.”
Max: “I am!”
Barry: “That’s great! Who are you?”
Max: “My name is Max. Nice to meet you!”
Barry: “I am Barry. Nice to meet you, too!”
Ash: “Let’s go into the Pokemon Center!”
(All agree. They go to the Pokemon Center. They sit on a sofa in the Pokemon Center’s hall.)
Dawn: “So, why have you come to Hoenn?”
Barry: “There are a lot of Pokemon that I’ve never seen before.” (Makes a pause, and continues.) “And I needed some changes, you know.”
Max: “And how many badges do you have?”
(Barry opens his badge case and shows his 4 badges.)
Ash: “Oh, you have a Lavaridge gym badge, Fortree badge, Mosdeep badge, and Sootopolis badge.”
Max: “You’ve beaten Juan?”
Barry: “Yeah, it was pretty hard, but we worked together with Empoleon!”
Empoleon (nods): “Empole.”
Dawn: “Guys, are you tired?” (Yawns.)
Barry: “Well, the battle was exhausting, so, it will be great to take a nap.”
Ash: “Yeah, I think so.” (Looks around) “Where’s Max?” (Then notices that Max is talking to Nurse Joy)
Max (looks at Ash): “They have a room for us.”
Dawn: “Great!”
Barry: “Empoleon, return!”
Empoleon (nods): “Empoleon.”
Barry (returns it): “Take a rest, I’ll need you tomorrow.”
(Ash, Pikachu, Barry, Dawn, Piplup, and Max go upstairs. They see a lot of rooms.)
Dawn: “Which room is ours?”
Max: “She told me third room on the left side.”
Barry: “Oh, okay…”
(They find the room. There are two bunk beds.)
Barry: “I’ll go up!”
(Barry climbs on it, and starts changing clothes.)
Max: “I’ll sleep on the top bunk.”
Ash: “Well, I like sleeping on the bottom bunk.”
Dawn: “Okay, I’ll sleep on the top bunk.”
(They put on pyjamas and fall asleep.)
Barry (dreaming): “If you don’t win, I’ll fine you!”
(They wake up in the morning. They get up, dress and go outside to the Giant indoor stadium, which is of an ellipse form and of grey colour.)
Barry: “Go faster! You don’t want to miss Wallace and Juan’s double performance, do you?”
Dawn (with a very surprising voice): “What did you say?”
Barry (with a confident, proud voice): “Yesterday, after I beat Juan, Juan told me that he will have an opening double performance with Wallace.”
Ash: “Okay, let’s go faster!”
(They hurry up and enter the stadium. As they come in, they hear the announcer.)
Announcer: "Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Today is the first ever Specialty Tournament! The tournament, as you all know, focuses on Water-type Pokemon, so participants are only allowed to use Water Pokemon. There will be 64 participants, and in each battle, except the final battle, trainers will be allowed to use 1 Pokemon. In the final, there will be a double battle. There is no time limit. Before we start the tournament, we would like to introduce two Masters of Water Pokemon."
(Juan and Wallace are ready to walk in. Both of them seem very confident.)
Juan: "Let's give our best, Wallace."
Wallace: "I fully agree with you, master."
(They look at each other, smile. Then they hear the announcer.)
Announcer: "Meet them. Wallace and Juan, come in!"
(As they walk in, crowd roars and applauds.)
Max: "Wow! Very cool!"
Dawn: "Yeah, I'm so excited to see what they are going to do!"
Ash: "We'll see."
(Wallace and Juan come on the battlefield. There is a big pool, and several water platforms on it.. Wallace and Juan stand against each other.)
Juan: "Go, my precious star, Milotic!"
(Milotic appears in a flashy way, and spins in the water.)
Wallace: "Milotic, come out!"
Milotic (appears in water): "Mill!"
(Max takes out his Pokedex.)
Pokedex: " Milotic, the Tender Pokémon and the evolved form of Feebas. At the first sign of fighting, Milotic will come up from the bottom of its lake habitat to calm any angry feelings. "
Barry: "Both of them use the same Pokemon? What's the big idea?"
Dawn (puts a finger on her lips and looks at Barry): "Tssshhh."
Juan: "Milotic use Twister!"
Wallace: "You use Twister as well!"
(Both Pokemon dive underwater. They start swimming in circles on the bottom of the pool. They do that synchronically, and from above they look like a circle. The huge Twister, that looks like a Tornado reaches almost the ceiling, and it keeps swirling.)
Juan: "Milotic, Ice Beam!"
Wallace: "You use Ice beam, too!"
(The twister starts getting frozen, and after a short amount of time it gets frozen solid.)
Max: "I wonder how Milotic will come out of this frozen Twister."
Wallace: "Come from underwater, Milotic!"
(Milotic rises from the underwater.)
Dawn: "It was not in the Twister?"
Barry: "Nope. It managed to get off it when the other Milotic started to form a huge Twister."
Wallace: "Now use Hydro Pump to blast this Twister."
Ash: "What? But Juan's Milotic is there!"
(Wallace's Milotic blasts a huge amount of water at high pressure. The audience seems both excited and worried.)
Juan (grins): "Use Protect, Milotic!"
(Milotic protects itself, and the Twister starts glowing light green. Hydro Pump breaks the frozen Twister and Juan's Milotic is surrounded by green sphere of energy, protecting itself.)
Juan: "Now, Milotic, land!"
Wallace: "Use Water Gun to soften its' landing!"
(Water Gun softens Juan's Milotic landing. Then they jump to their trainers on the floor. The four of them bow, showing the audience that their performance is over.)
Audience (applauds and roars): "Wallace! Juan! Wow! Great job!"
Dawn: "That was so-o-o beautiful!"
Max: "It was awesome!"
Ash: "Yeah!"
Pikachu: "Pikachu!"
Announcer: "That was the performance by true Water Masters! Juan and Wallace, thank you, and please, take your seats."
(He waits for them to sit. Then the announcer continues.)
Announcer: "After the grand opening, let me show the participants of the tournament."
(The large screen in the top middle of the stadium shows 64 trainers. Ash, Dawn, Max and Barry are there.)
Announcer: "Now, let me shuffle the trainers, and make the brackets!"
(The trainers are waiting for the bracket. Suddenly, it appears on the screen.)
Announcer: "Our 1st round battle will begin with a battle between Clark and Jeremy."
(After that, the battle is shown between two youngsters.)
Golduck (uses Psychic): "Golduck!"
(Clark's Golduck hits Jeremy's weakened Poliwhirl with a Psychic attack. Golduck lifts Poliwhirl and then throws in the pool. Poliwhirl faints.)
Jeremy: "No, my Poliwhirl!"
Announcer: "The 2nd battle is between Barry and Emily!"
Barry (pumped): "Me? Oh, right!"
(He goes on the battlefield. On the other side he sees a young woman, that has curvy brown hair, and has a green chinese-style dress on her.)
Announcer: "Begin the battle!"
Barry: "Go, Empoleon!"
(Empoleon comes as confident as Barry is. He stands in a noble pose, waiting for the opponent.)
Emily: "Go. Seaking!"
Seaking (comes out and looks angrily at Empoleon)
Dawn: "A Seaking?" (Checks her Pokedex)
Pokedex: " Seaking, the Goldfish Pokémon. Seaking is the evolved form of Goldeen. Its sharp, drill-like horn is capable of crushing even stone. "
Barry (confidently): "That won't be a problem."
Emily: "Oh yeah? Use Horn Attack, Seaking!"
Barry: "Jump out of the platform and use Drill Peck!"
(Empoleon starts spinning and forms a powerful-looking Drill Peck attack. Seaking heads into Empoleon and two attacks collide. Empoleon overpowers Seaking and sends it several meters back.)
Empoleon (returns to the platform): "Empoleon."
Emily: "Hm. Use Megahorn, Seaking!"
Seaking (starts swimming and this time its' horn grows larger.)
Barry: "Wait for it to come closer."
Emily: "Not a smart strategy. Seaking, attack, now!"
(Seaking gets very close and jumps out of the water.)
Barry: "Hydro Cannon!"
Emily (with a very surprised voice): "Huh?"
(A glowing light blue ball of water appears in front of Empoleon's beak, and Empoleon fires it at Seaking, sending it back once again.)
Emily: "No, Seaking!"
Seaking (with a weak voice): "Sea..."
Announcer: "Barry wins the battle!"
Barry: "Great job, Empoleon!"
Empoleon (nods): "Empole."
(Barry returns Empoleon, and goes to Max, Dawn, and Ash.)
Ash: "Great job, Barry!"
Barry: "Thanks! But it was too easy."
Dawn: "I wonder who will be next..."
Max: "Well, an odd guy is battling a lady right now. We'll have to wait for some time."
(The battles go on. A lot of Water Pokemon appear.)
Announcer: "The eleventh battle will be Dawn versus Charles!"
Dawn: "It's me!"
(Dawn goes downstairs and enters the battlefield. She sees a middle-aged man in a white t-shirt and blue shorts.)
Charles: "Are you ready?"
Dawn: "Sure! Go, Piplup!"
(Piplup comes out, stands on the platform.)
Charles: "Go, Azumarill!"
(Azumarill comes out.)
Azumarill: "Azu!"
Barry: "Wow, an Azumarill! Let's find out about it."
Pokedex: " Azumarill, the Aqua Rabbit Pokémon. The evolved form of Marill. This Pokémon uses its large, highly developed ears to hear great distances, even underwater. "
Dawn: "Piplup, start with Bubblebeam!"
Piplup: "Piplup!" (Jumps, starts quickly flapping its' wings and shoots a ray of bubbles at Azumarill.)
Charles: "You use Bubblebeam, too!"
(Azumarill uses Bubblebeam, and the two attacks collide, being equally together)
Charles: "Use Aqua Tail!"
(Azumarill dives in the pool and its' tail starts glowing light blue. It quickly gets closer to Piplup.)
Dawn: "Use Whirlpool!"
Piplup: "Piplup!" (Starts creating a Whirlpool. Then it throws it into the water, and whirlpool becomes huge, trapping and damaging Azumarill at the same time.)
Dawn: "All right!"
Ash: "Using the pool to make Whirlpool larger was a great idea!"
Max: "Yeah!"
(Azumarill finally escapes, but looks worn out.)
Charles: "Azumarill, use Hydro Pump! Blast it!"
(Azumarill blasts a huge amount of water into Piplup.)
Dawn: "Use your Hydro Pump!"
(Piplup counters Azumarill's Hydro Pump with its own.)
Dawn: "Keep it going, Piplup!"
Charles: "Don't give up, Azumarill!"
(They continue to use Hydro Pump for a fair amount of time, but Azumarill's attack starts getting weaker, and Piplup finally hits it.)
Charles: "No way! Get up, Azumarill!"
Azumarill (gets up on a platform): "Azu!"
Dawn: "Use Drill Peck!"
Piplup: "Piplup!" (Its beak becomes larger, and glows white. Piplup starts spinning and heads into Azumarill.)
Charles: "Use Superpower!"
(Azumarill's body glows, and he waits Piplup to come closer.)
Charles: "Now, attack, with everything you've got!"
Azumarill: "Azu!"
Dawn (with a confident voice): "Dodge it!"
(Piplup dodges Azumarill's attack by spinning near it. Azumarill falls in the water, while Piplup stands on the platform.)
Charles: "What?"
Dawn: "Use Whirlpool, once more!"
(Piplup throws the Whirlpool again. Azumarill is taking huge damage and gets knocked out.)
Dawn (shouts): "We did it!"
Piplup (stands with a noble look): "Piplup."
Announcer: "Dawn wins the battle!"
Barry: "Dawn won! That's great news!"
Max: "Yeah! Piplup's Whirlpool is really Powerful!"
(Dawn comes back.)
Ash: "You battled well, Dawn!"
Pikachu: "Pika!"
Dawn (smiles): "Yeah, thanks!"
Announcer: "Now the 12th battle is..."
Ash: "Oh well, now we have to wait again."
(After some time...)
Announcer: "The 28th battle will be Ash versus Manny!"
Ash: "I am ready!"
(He runs on the battlefield, and waits for the opponent. A little girl comes on the other side.)
Manny: "I may not be a good battler, but I'll give everything I've got!"
Ash: "That's the spirit! Good luck!"
Manny (smiles): "You too!" (Takes her Pokeball) "Go, Luvdisc!"
Luvdisc: "Luvdisc!"
Ash: "Go, Kingler!"
Kingler (comes out very prepared and confident): "Kukiii!!"
Ash: "Okay, Kingler, let's win this battle!"
The end of the 33rd Chapter.
My review: Wow, the longest Chapter I've made so far (9 pages A4).
I liked the performance bby Wallace and Juan + plus the battles.
Last edited by RealRaymon; 3rd February 2013 at 8:06 PM.
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