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Thread: Max's New Adventures

  1. #101
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    Great chapter! I cant give any sort of criticism because I'm not good at it, but add me to the PM list please!
    Anger the Blaziken, and you get BURNED

    Example of the above:
    YOU: Hey Blaziken, your ugly!
    BLAZIKEN: .......JO FACE!(burnnned)

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by ultimateblaziken11 View Post
    Great chapter! I cant give any sort of criticism because I'm not good at it, but add me to the PM list please!
    Thanks!)I'll add you now
    And tell me please, which chapters have you read?)

  3. #103
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    I've read all of them

    They are all amazing!
    Anger the Blaziken, and you get BURNED

    Example of the above:
    YOU: Hey Blaziken, your ugly!
    BLAZIKEN: .......JO FACE!(burnnned)

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by ultimateblaziken11 View Post
    I've read all of them

    They are all amazing!
    Well, thank you a lot! I am glad you enjoyed it

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by RealRaymon View Post
    Thanks!
    Well, I can't agree with you)They evolved Treecko and Grovyle, Taillow and Snorunt(Torkoal was not capable of it)
    So, Ash's Pokemon evolved in the series
    Yeah I know but like they don't evolve all of his Pokemon (Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Corphish etc etc). Are you gonna have Pokemon like that or..? If you don't wanna spoil anything you don't have to answer xD

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSirPeras View Post
    Yeah I know but like they don't evolve all of his Pokemon (Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Corphish etc etc). Are you gonna have Pokemon like that or..? If you don't wanna spoil anything you don't have to answer xD
    I don't know who will Max have as I don't plan it all, but I don't want to spoil either...)The time would tell

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by RealRaymon View Post
    I don't know who will Max have as I don't plan it all, but I don't want to spoil either...)The time would tell
    Ok can't wait
    I really like how you describe the battles, there's a lot of detail, good job for that

  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSirPeras View Post
    Ok can't wait
    I really like how you describe the battles, there's a lot of detail, good job for that
    All for you, my dear readers)All you should do just read and have a good time)Do you have a good time while reading?)

    P.S.The new chapter would be about Max meeting some more familiar faces and going to the next town which is on the way to Sootopolis

  9. #109
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    That was great chapter!
    Showed a fair battle and I like the reference Max said towards Ash battling with type disadvantage.

    Ash: Now I choose you!
    Electro Ball!

    -Pikachu: PikaPika-Chu-Pi!-

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ash&Pikachu-Fan View Post
    That was great chapter!
    Showed a fair battle and I like the reference Max said towards Ash battling with type disadvantage.
    Thank you!
    Finally somebody noticed that)I did it on purpose!

  11. #111
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    Hi, guys! Here is the new chapter, as the first gym is gone, I would have some fillers, but I'll make them interesting and important in dome kind of way)
    And, note, I have something funny in this episode, but it is a hidden(stealth joke), so I wonder if anyone sees it

    The 9th chapter: All the way to Devon!

    Max(looking at its badge): “My new badge! So cool!”

    Forrest: “Yes and well-deserved!”

    Max: “Thanks, but it were my Pokemon who won the battle…”

    Forrest(disagrees): “Not only them, you made a big contribution too! Just remember what brilliant strategy you were using all the time!”

    Max: “Oh okay, okay…”

    (As they were speaking whether it was Max or his Pokemon contribution, the two boys are heading towards a white skyscraper with big antennas and a lot of windows)

    Forrest: “So, where were we heading, anyway?”

    Max: “I need to meet my old friend. You see the large building there?”(points at this building)

    Forrest(looks at it): “Yeah, I see..”

    Max: “We are going there!”

    Forrest(looks at the building with wide opened eyes): “Wow, it’s so tall and beautiful!”

    Max(is tired of Forrest’s behaviour): “Oh my…”

    (As they come to the entrance, the two tall security guards in black suits and stop them)

    The 1st security guard: “Where are you going to?”

    Max(not suppressed at all, just confidently says): “To Mr.Stone…”

    (the security guard makes a call)

    Security guard(talking on the phone): “Mr. President? The boy is asking to see you?” (makes a pause) “Which boy? Well…”(looks at him)
    “He is in green T-shirt, brown shorts, green sneakers…”

    (the door opens):

    ???“Well, I’ll check him by myself…”(as the middle-aged and middle-sized man in a lilac suit, brown shoes and white hat came out)

    Max(shouts): “Good afternoon, Mr. Stone!”

    Mr.Stone(recognizes him and smiles): “Well, if it isn’t Max, my old friend!”

    Forrest(surprised): “Max, President is your friend?”

    Max: “Well. It’s a long story.”

    Mr.Stone: “So, how can I help you?”

    Max: “Oh, we were passing by and I really wanted to see you again, that’s all!”

    Mr.Stone: “Oh, thank you…”

    Max: “So, we don’t want to disturb you anymore…”(as they want to leave)

    Mr.Stone: “No, you are really not disturbing me. And do you think I’ll let you go easily after you made so far? Come with me…” (looks at the security guard)
    “they are with me”

    (As they pass near the security guard Max looks at him in some kind of proud and cocky way)

    Max: “So, what is it, Mr.Stone?”(asked him as they were entering the elevator)

    Mr.Stone(walking calmly and answering): “Just wait and see, I have something for you.”

    (They walk out of elevator, walk near dozen rooms and finally Mr.Stone enters the door, which was in the end. After that they see a lot of scientists, who are doing
    their jobs at different areas and making or helping to create new inventions)

    Mr.Stone(to Max): “You remember this place, don’t you?”

    Max: “I sure do!”(to Forrest) “This is the place where all the inventions are developing”

    (The head scientist stops working, as he goes to Mr.Stone)

    Head scientist: “Good afternoon, Mr.President!”

    Mr.Stone: “Hi, Curtis! Is the new Pokenavigation system ready?”

    Head scientist Curtis: “Yes!”(goes and takes a red-coloured device with a black screen(actually, because it is turned off and gives it to Mr.Stone)

    Mr. Stone: “Thank you.”(looks at Max)“Here is the brand new Pokenav, it guides you everywhere, I mean, not only in the Hoenn region, but in Kanto,
    Johto and Sinnoh regions as well. Take it as my present.”

    Max(takes it and his eyes are shining of happiness): “Wooow! Thank you, Mr.Stone!”

    Mr.Stone: “Well, I never forget people that helped me.”(smiles and looks at Forrest) “And what is your name?”

    Forrest: “I am Forrest, sir! I lived around the city and looked for a safety in the woods and I also like Bug-Pokemon!”

    Mr.Stone: “Hmmm…Is that so?”(thinks and takes something out of his pocket)

    Forrest(curiously): “What is it, Mr.Stone?” (as he looks at two light-blue Pokeballs with grey web-like things on the top)

    Mr.Stone: “These are Net Pokeballs, or simply, net-balls. They are designed and developed specially to catch Bug or Water Pokemon. I think they may be
    handy for you.”

    Forrest(exclaims): “They will sure come in handy, thanks a lot!”

    Mr.Stone: “So, let’s go to the exit and don’t disturb our scientists.”

    (As they do the same way again, come out of the building)

    Mr.Stone(concerns): “What are you planning to do next?”

    Max: “Well, we want to go to the Dewford Town at first, but don’t bother, Mr.Stone, I have a friend who can help us with that” (said Max, remembering
    the old man with white beard and mustache and a Wingull, who helped them to get to Dewford Town)

    Mr.Stone: “Okay. You are old enough, but if something helps, remember, you have a Pokenav, Max!”

    Max(as they stat going): “Ok, Mr.Stone, good bye and thank you for everything! I was glad to see you!”

    Forrest: “And me too!”

    Mr.Stone: “Good bye, boys and good luck to both of you!”

    (As they see each other off, Max comes to the small house near the port and as they are ready to knock on the door, they see a Wingull flying
    out of the window with the letter in his mouth)

    The end of 9th Chapter.
    Last edited by RealRaymon; 10th August 2012 at 11:52 AM.

  12. #112
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    Good Chapter! I like how you brought back Mr. Stone! But... one question, how come the Pokenav doesn't navigate work in Unova, but all the other regions?

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  13. #113
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    I liked this chapter a lot! Fillers are awesome!

    But yeah, I thought it was good that you didn't include unova on that list.

    Also, (this is picky) you said "ME badge" instead of MY badge, and it's the first sentence too, it kind of leaves a bad impression. The chapter still was good though.

  14. #114
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    Great Story so far.I've read all the chapters and they are very well written.But I suggest you add a 'Party' kind of thing with all of Max's and Forrest's Pokemon and their moves.It may actually show their development(say Treecko currently has Bullet Seed but by the story end,it may have better moves like Leaf Blade and Leaf Storm).
        Spoiler:- Completed and Current Playthroughs:

  15. #115
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    Thanks all of you!
    Quote Originally Posted by OshaMijuWott View Post
    Good Chapter! I like how you brought back Mr. Stone! But... one question, how come the Pokenav doesn't navigate work in Unova, but all the other regions?
    Well, that is so because Unova region is very far ahead and they don't communicate(Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh)with Unova much...but I guess it would be developped
    Quote Originally Posted by dirkac View Post
    I liked this chapter a lot! Fillers are awesome!

    But yeah, I thought it was good that you didn't include unova on that list.

    Also, (this is picky) you said "ME badge" instead of MY badge, and it's the first sentence too, it kind of leaves a bad impression. The chapter still was good though.
    Thanks for the notice, but I just misclicked)
    Quote Originally Posted by amittal12 View Post
    Great Story so far.I've read all the chapters and they are very well written.But I suggest you add a 'Party' kind of thing with all of Max's and Forrest's Pokemon and their moves.It may actually show their development(say Treecko currently has Bullet Seed but by the story end,it may have better moves like Leaf Blade and Leaf Storm).
    Thank you)Sorry, but I didn't understand the party thing...Do you want me just to show you all of Max's and Forrest's Pokemon in the end as well as moves they know?)

    P.S.by the way, the scientist's name was Curtis. Does it seem familiar to you?
    Last edited by RealRaymon; 10th August 2012 at 12:01 PM.

  16. #116
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    Good filler chapter.
    Welcome back Charizard! I've missed you so much! <3

  17. #117
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    It was a pretty good filler, great that Mr Stone came back. And I wonder what the letter with Wingull says

  18. #118
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    Thanks!)You'll see, what it says. I'll post new chapter as soon as others read this one

  19. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by RealRaymon View Post

    Thank you)Sorry, but I didn't understand the party thing...Do you want me just to show you all of Max's and Forrest's Pokemon in the end as well as moves they know?)
    Ya,Exactly.For eg:Treecko has the moveset Quick Attack,Pound and Bullet Seed as of Ep 9.Say it's a Grovyle or a Sceptile in the last Gym and has the moveset Leaf Blade,Leaf Storm,X-Scissor and False Swipe and you can show development in the process like an episode dedicated to a Pokemon trying to teach/master a move.
        Spoiler:- Completed and Current Playthroughs:

  20. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by amittal12 View Post
    Ya,Exactly.For eg:Treecko has the moveset Quick Attack,Pound and Bullet Seed as of Ep 9.Say it's a Grovyle or a Sceptile in the last Gym and has the moveset Leaf Blade,Leaf Storm,X-Scissor and False Swipe and you can show development in the process like an episode dedicated to a Pokemon trying to teach/master a move.
    Treeclo knows Dig as well...Well, okay, Pokemon woulld master some moves in the future)

  21. #121

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    Great chapter, I enjoyed the filler.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canada View Post
    Biggest Fan of the Diamond and Pearl Series: Dawn+Serena Fan

  22. #122
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    Awesome chapter, nice to see Mr.Stone(:

    Black 2 team

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  23. #123
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    Here I come with another filler-chapter!

    The 10th Chapter: Taking a different path to Dewford!

    (Max and Forrest see that Wingull has a letter in its Mouth)

    Wingull(sees Max): “Wingull!”(and flies to him)

    Max: “Hi, Peeko!”(sees the letter) “Oh, it is a letter.”(takes it)

    (Max reads the letter)

    Max(sees something): “Oh! It is from Mr.Briney!”

    Max(reads the letter aloud): “Hi! I am writing you this letter to say that I have been invited by a ship company in Slateport City and
    I will be working as a head shipbuilder in Slateport City as well. I will leave this letter to Peeko as he will give it to you, my friends. I am sure
    that Peeko will recognize you and that you are my friends as nobody in Rustboro visits these derelict, old places and, especially, this house
    unless people know me! Fortunately, I don’t have any enemies after Team Aqua stopped doing bad things. If you want to get to Dewford or
    to Slateport, catch a ferry in the new port. Luckily, I have an old friend, Mr. Douglas, who is the captain of the ship called “S.S.Aqua”. Just
    go to the New Port and see whether the ship is here or not, it is in Rustboro every two days. I hope we meet very soon. After you read Peeko
    will fly back to me.
    Yours truly,
    Mr. Briney”

    Max(raises head): “Thanks, Peeko!”

    Peeko: “Wingull!”(rises high and flies to Mr.Briney)

    Forrest: “So, let’s head to the New Port. But there seem to be one problem…”

    Max: “Which problem?”

    Forrest: “I don’t know the way there…”

    Max: “I never went there, but don’t worry! We have a brand new Pokenav! ”(takes a look it)
    “So, it is a mile away, let’s go!”

    Forrest: “Okay.”

    (they go and after a while they see a port with many ships and ferries. They are looking for S.S.Aqua but can’t find it)

    Max(sadly): “Oh well…It must have left already.”

    Forrest: “Maybe not. Let’s ask somebody about it.”

    (They look for somebody to ask about it and they see a middle-aged man in a blue jacket, black shoes and jeans who is coming nearby)

    Max: “Excuse me, sir?”

    ???: “Yes, how can I help you?”

    Max: “We are looking for a ship called S.S.Aqua…”

    ???(surprised): “S.S.Aqua?”

    Max(nods): “Yes, can you help us to find it?”

    ???: “Sure. Let’s go, kids!”

    (As they go to the large white ship, that was not seen because a humongous black ship standing nearby. They stand near it)

    Max, Forrest: “Thank you!”

    ???: “No problem! So, why were you looking for this ship?”

    Max: “We wanted to get to Dewford Town and our friend, Mr.Briney, said we should go to this ship and find Mr.Douglas, his friend…”

    ???: “Oh, I see. Well then. My pal said I may meet some friends of his.”

    Max: “You mean…You are Mr.Douglas, the captain of this ship?”

    Mr.Douglas(nods): “Yes, it is me. So, I can help you to get there. Come to the ship, we’ll sail very soon.” (as they enter the ship, captain
    Douglas asks one of the sailors to show Max and Forrest their room. As they come…)

    Sailor: “Here is your room, guys. Enjoy your time here.”

    Max: “Thanks, mister!”

    Sailor: “You are welcome!”(and leaves)

    Forrest: “Max, I have a great idea! Let’s go see the sea”(as the ship had already left by this time)

    Max: “Sure! And I think our Pokemon should have some fun with us too!”

    Forrest: “Nice idea!”

    Max: “Go, Treecko and Taillow!”

    Treecko: “Treecko!”

    Taillow(opens wings): “Tailow!”

    (As the Pokemon appear, both of them look rested and full of energy)

    Forrest: “Come out you too, guys!”

    Heracross: “Herra!”

    Ledian: “Ledi!”

    Max: “Wow, a Ledian!”

    Pokedex: ”Ledian, the Five Star Pokémon. It uses starlight as energy. The spots on the Ledian's back are said to respond to the
    stars in the night sky.”

    Max: “Cool!”(said Max looking on the red five spots Pokemon)

    Forrest: “So, come on guys! Let’s have fun!”

    (They go to the deck, then they swim in the pool, while Ledian and Taillow are flying together, they eat some fruit, Pokemon chase each
    other, play and then we see that the evening comes as they sit in their room and prepare for a sleep)

    Forrest: “We had a nice day!”(while they returned the Pokemon)

    Max: “Yeah! I wish we’ll get my old friend soon!”

    (Max started dreaming about the time he will have with Ralts and his Pokemon together, then two boys started sleeping. They woke up when
    they heard the loud sound(signal)from the captain)

    Captain: “Dear guests! Our Ship has come to the Dewford Town. I was glad that you used our ship. Yours sincerely, Captain Douglas.”

    Max: “Oh! It’s time to go. Dewford Gym, I challenge you!”

    Forrest: “Oh, so you are planning to earn one more badge?”

    Max: “Yes, I don’t want to waste any time…”

    Forrest: “Well, that’s great!”(said he while they came out of the ship) “Let’s go to the Gym immediately.”

    Max: “Yes! I look forward my second badge!”

    (They go through many buildings, which are not big, just like villas, they see many people surfing and then they see a purple house and
    a golden sign before it: “Fight the big wave!” with two fighting Pokemon there”

    Max(looking at the sign): “Oh, it is awesome, I remember this sign. So, Dewford gym is on the same place as before!
    Ok, let’s go!” (as they enter the gym)

    Forrest: “Max, look!”(points at the battlefield)

    Max: “Yes, someone is battling!”(as they see a young man in orange t-shorts and shorts as well, who has blue hair and looks like a surfer)
    “So, the gym leader is still Brawly! And check out his Hariyama!”(takes Pokedex)

    Pokedex: “Hariyama, the Arm Thrust Pokémon. Hariyama is the evolved form of Makuhita. When tensing its body, its muscles become hard
    as stone.”

    Forrest: “and a trainer challenges him.” (looking at a teen with black hair, blue T-shirt and who is wearing jeans and black sneakers)

    Brawly(standing alongside his Hariyama): “So, Randy. You did great so far, but my Hariyama is tough for you, isn’t it?”

    Randy: “Oh yeah? We’ll see about this!”(takes the Pokeball) “We are ready for this battle! Go, Bulbasaur!”

    Bulbasaur(comes out of the Pokeball and looks very serious and determined): “Bul-ba!”

    Max: “He has a Bulbasaur!”

    Pokedex: “Bulbasaur, the Seed Pokemon. A strange seed was planted on its back at birth. The plant sprouts and grows with this Pokémon.”

    Randy: “Come on Bulbasaur! We gotta win this thing!”

    Bulbasaur(nods): “Saur.”

    The end of the 10th Chapter.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________________
    My note: The battle was 3 on 3, but Hariayama and Bulbasaur are last Pokemon of each trainer.
    Last edited by RealRaymon; 11th August 2012 at 10:53 AM.

  24. #124

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    Great chapter! Nice to see Bulbasaur again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canada View Post
    Biggest Fan of the Diamond and Pearl Series: Dawn+Serena Fan

  25. #125
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    Good chapter. And as thedehydrator said already, nice to see Bulbasaur again.
    Here comes some criticism about your fanfic: It would be nice if Max would do more on-screen training, since we haven't saw that much.
    Welcome back Charizard! I've missed you so much! <3

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