Great chapter, I enjoyed the filler.
Ya know!?
Great chapter, I enjoyed the filler.
† I am a Christian and proud of it! Copy and paste this if you are too.†*Co-Owner of the Dawn/Hikari Fanclub v4*Come and read my newest fanfic that I'm currently writing!
on hiatus
Awesome chapter, nice to see Mr.Stone(:
Black 2 team
Soul Silver Team
- Under Construction-
Spoiler:- tumblr:
Call me Raymon=)
Here I come with another filler-chapter!
The 10th Chapter: Taking a different path to Dewford!
(Max and Forrest see that Wingull has a letter in its Mouth)
Wingull(sees Max): “Wingull!”(and flies to him)
Max: “Hi, Peeko!”(sees the letter) “Oh, it is a letter.”(takes it)
(Max reads the letter)
Max(sees something): “Oh! It is from Mr.Briney!”
Max(reads the letter aloud): “Hi! I am writing you this letter to say that I have been invited by a ship company in Slateport City and
I will be working as a head shipbuilder in Slateport City as well. I will leave this letter to Peeko as he will give it to you, my friends. I am sure
that Peeko will recognize you and that you are my friends as nobody in Rustboro visits these derelict, old places and, especially, this house
unless people know me! Fortunately, I don’t have any enemies after Team Aqua stopped doing bad things. If you want to get to Dewford or
to Slateport, catch a ferry in the new port. Luckily, I have an old friend, Mr. Douglas, who is the captain of the ship called “S.S.Aqua”. Just
go to the New Port and see whether the ship is here or not, it is in Rustboro every two days. I hope we meet very soon. After you read Peeko
will fly back to me.
Yours truly,
Mr. Briney”
Max(raises head): “Thanks, Peeko!”
Peeko: “Wingull!”(rises high and flies to Mr.Briney)
Forrest: “So, let’s head to the New Port. But there seem to be one problem…”
Max: “Which problem?”
Forrest: “I don’t know the way there…”
Max: “I never went there, but don’t worry! We have a brand new Pokenav! ”(takes a look it)
“So, it is a mile away, let’s go!”
Forrest: “Okay.”
(they go and after a while they see a port with many ships and ferries. They are looking for S.S.Aqua but can’t find it)
Max(sadly): “Oh well…It must have left already.”
Forrest: “Maybe not. Let’s ask somebody about it.”
(They look for somebody to ask about it and they see a middle-aged man in a blue jacket, black shoes and jeans who is coming nearby)
Max: “Excuse me, sir?”
???: “Yes, how can I help you?”
Max: “We are looking for a ship called S.S.Aqua…”
???(surprised): “S.S.Aqua?”
Max(nods): “Yes, can you help us to find it?”
???: “Sure. Let’s go, kids!”
(As they go to the large white ship, that was not seen because a humongous black ship standing nearby. They stand near it)
Max, Forrest: “Thank you!”
???: “No problem! So, why were you looking for this ship?”
Max: “We wanted to get to Dewford Town and our friend, Mr.Briney, said we should go to this ship and find Mr.Douglas, his friend…”
???: “Oh, I see. Well then. My pal said I may meet some friends of his.”
Max: “You mean…You are Mr.Douglas, the captain of this ship?”
Mr.Douglas(nods): “Yes, it is me. So, I can help you to get there. Come to the ship, we’ll sail very soon.” (as they enter the ship, captain
Douglas asks one of the sailors to show Max and Forrest their room. As they come…)
Sailor: “Here is your room, guys. Enjoy your time here.”
Max: “Thanks, mister!”
Sailor: “You are welcome!”(and leaves)
Forrest: “Max, I have a great idea! Let’s go see the sea”(as the ship had already left by this time)
Max: “Sure! And I think our Pokemon should have some fun with us too!”
Forrest: “Nice idea!”
Max: “Go, Treecko and Taillow!”
Treecko: “Treecko!”
Taillow(opens wings): “Tailow!”
(As the Pokemon appear, both of them look rested and full of energy)
Forrest: “Come out you too, guys!”
Heracross: “Herra!”
Ledian: “Ledi!”
Max: “Wow, a Ledian!”
Pokedex: ”Ledian, the Five Star Pokémon. It uses starlight as energy. The spots on the Ledian's back are said to respond to the
stars in the night sky.”
Max: “Cool!”(said Max looking on the red five spots Pokemon)
Forrest: “So, come on guys! Let’s have fun!”
(They go to the deck, then they swim in the pool, while Ledian and Taillow are flying together, they eat some fruit, Pokemon chase each
other, play and then we see that the evening comes as they sit in their room and prepare for a sleep)
Forrest: “We had a nice day!”(while they returned the Pokemon)
Max: “Yeah! I wish we’ll get my old friend soon!”
(Max started dreaming about the time he will have with Ralts and his Pokemon together, then two boys started sleeping. They woke up when
they heard the loud sound(signal)from the captain)
Captain: “Dear guests! Our Ship has come to the Dewford Town. I was glad that you used our ship. Yours sincerely, Captain Douglas.”
Max: “Oh! It’s time to go. Dewford Gym, I challenge you!”
Forrest: “Oh, so you are planning to earn one more badge?”
Max: “Yes, I don’t want to waste any time…”
Forrest: “Well, that’s great!”(said he while they came out of the ship) “Let’s go to the Gym immediately.”
Max: “Yes! I look forward my second badge!”
(They go through many buildings, which are not big, just like villas, they see many people surfing and then they see a purple house and
a golden sign before it: “Fight the big wave!” with two fighting Pokemon there”
Max(looking at the sign): “Oh, it is awesome, I remember this sign. So, Dewford gym is on the same place as before!
Ok, let’s go!” (as they enter the gym)
Forrest: “Max, look!”(points at the battlefield)
Max: “Yes, someone is battling!”(as they see a young man in orange t-shorts and shorts as well, who has blue hair and looks like a surfer)
“So, the gym leader is still Brawly! And check out his Hariyama!”(takes Pokedex)
Pokedex: “Hariyama, the Arm Thrust Pokémon. Hariyama is the evolved form of Makuhita. When tensing its body, its muscles become hard
as stone.”
Forrest: “and a trainer challenges him.” (looking at a teen with black hair, blue T-shirt and who is wearing jeans and black sneakers)
Brawly(standing alongside his Hariyama): “So, Randy. You did great so far, but my Hariyama is tough for you, isn’t it?”
Randy: “Oh yeah? We’ll see about this!”(takes the Pokeball) “We are ready for this battle! Go, Bulbasaur!”
Bulbasaur(comes out of the Pokeball and looks very serious and determined): “Bul-ba!”
Max: “He has a Bulbasaur!”
Pokedex: “Bulbasaur, the Seed Pokemon. A strange seed was planted on its back at birth. The plant sprouts and grows with this Pokémon.”
Randy: “Come on Bulbasaur! We gotta win this thing!”
Bulbasaur(nods): “Saur.”
The end of the 10th Chapter.
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
My note: The battle was 3 on 3, but Hariayama and Bulbasaur are last Pokemon of each trainer.
Last edited by RealRaymon; 11th August 2012 at 9:53 AM.
Ya know!?
Great chapter! Nice to see Bulbasaur again.
† I am a Christian and proud of it! Copy and paste this if you are too.†*Co-Owner of the Dawn/Hikari Fanclub v4*Come and read my newest fanfic that I'm currently writing!
Star Wars fan
Good chapter. And as thedehydrator said already, nice to see Bulbasaur again.
Here comes some criticism about your fanfic: It would be nice if Max would do more on-screen training, since we haven't saw that much.
Welcome back Charizard! I've missed you so much! <3
Pika-Power
The last chapter was great! I remember the episode Max first met him! And this chapter was great! Yay for Peeko's return!
Still an awesome fanfic!
Ash: Now I chose you!
Electro Ball!
-Pikachu: PikaPika-Chu-Pi!-
Call me Raymon=)
I was happy to have a chance to use him too)Originally Posted by thedehydrator
You know, I wanted to do it next chapter, but thanks for the critisizm, I would sure do that)
And you see, there was no time actually to train, they were just playing with them while sailing
Whom?)Thanks!)
Star Wars fan
You're welcome.
I understand.
Welcome back Charizard! I've missed you so much! <3
Looking for Shinies
This chapter was great.
It's been a while since Max caught a new Pokemon.
Anger the Blaziken, and you get BURNED
Example of the above:
YOU: Hey Blaziken, your ugly!
BLAZIKEN: .......JO FACE!(burnnned)
The Reluctant Genius
Wow! This was great! I liked that you had Peeko return, and that you had a reference to the games too. To be honest, I was expecting Peeko to return with a letter saying that the ship was finished, making them go through Rusturf Tunnel (which oddly enough isn't even in the anime).
Errrr... But yeah. I liked that you included a bulbasaur, is tge trainer going to be a rival?
Argh, can't you just let me sleep...
:3 I has it!
Clickee to go to the Rulers of the Universe.
Call me Raymon=)
Actually, not long. But he'll catch one soon)
He'll may be, but I don't know yet
on hiatus
EDIT:Great filler, although I think you should use more contractions. I also liked Peeko's return,he's so cute.
Do you have any plans for Forrest to catch more pokemon?
Last edited by MaidensGhost; 12th August 2012 at 3:05 PM.
Black 2 team
Soul Silver Team
- Under Construction-
Spoiler:- tumblr:
Sceptile Maniac
Great Filler.But it's a little surprising that Brawly is still the Gym leader.I expected Shauna(The Battle Girl with the Meditite) to be the Gym Leader since she could have trained under him and surpassed him and became the Gym leader while maybe Brawly could have started Professional Surfing.But what's done is done.But I think you should change the plot a little from the anime and change the characters since two years time has passed and in two years time changes are bound to happen,like seen in B2/W2 when compared to the original games.
Spoiler:- Completed and Current Playthroughs:
Call me Raymon=)
Yeah, I thought about it much, but I don't want to change anything here as Brawly is young and takes pleasure from a job of a gym leader. You know, all Hoenn gym leaders are not old and two years won't change much)
#hashtag
Nice chapter! Brawley still seems to be OP! Can't wait to see who his third Pokemon is since he only had 2
Thus the earth shall turn to Ash
Hey Slowking, need some pants?
Call me Raymon=)
What is OP? Overpowered?
Hariyama is the 3rd Pokemon, not the 2nd)So it is the decisive match
#hashtag
OP = Overpowered yes
Thats not what I meant, I meant before when Ash challenged Brawley he had 2 Pokemon and now has 3. Unless im forgetting someone
Thus the earth shall turn to Ash
Hey Slowking, need some pants?
Call me Raymon=)
Oh, I understand. He had 2 Pokemon, the third one? You'll find it out soon!)OP = Overpowered yes
Thats not what I meant, I meant before when Ash challenged Brawley he had 2 Pokemon and now has 3. Unless im forgetting someone
Winning Smile
Just a public warning to all reviewers; the fanfiction rules state that your rules actually have to say something useful and specific to the story.
In other words, reviews like 'Great filler' or 'Great Chapter, I enjoyed ___' do not abide by those rules, because you can say the same sort of thing to every other fic. Please spend a bit more time with your reviews; say what you liked and why you liked it for instance, and maybe what you didn't like as much and while. Throw in your thoughts about what happened (e.g. 'This part was quite exciting to read') or the characters ('This new character seems like a douche I think he's the villain') and make it more than a one-liner. That way the author gets some more feedback about the story as well and can improve.
A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.
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Unfortunately Blue | Notice: Keep Out | Turnabout Assumptions | Song Parodies
Snapshots (New!)
Check out this Pokemon Magazine! Looking for contributers!
Why should you? Well, Wynaut?
Current article: Why doesn't Ash age?
Avatar is edited, cropped pic by minty-fivestar on DA (adding backgrounds FTW!), and fic banner by cieux.
Call me Raymon=)
Yeah, I think that some of my reviewers are just being lazy
So, guys, write a little bit more, I appreciate your comments, but at least some more feedback)
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