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Thread: [APH - PG-16 - Parody]Hetalia:Asse Powers

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    Default [APH - PG-16 - Parody]Hetalia:Asse Powers

    Well, it's me TRG again, and I wanted to write a parody of my favorite anime! In this craaazy fic, Italy is somewhat intellegent, Germany is....well? German, and Japan has anger issues! And about the swear filter, I'll put the first letter and then asterisks so you can at least know the words they're saying.

    America: Dude, I seriously think I should handle out this meeting because I'm the hero and a true genius. With blabbing too much and yelling opinions, we can definately solve the world's problems. Okay dudes I think since I'm the hero I'll totally do everything and save your asses.

    Japan: *Is slamming table* Are you out of your mind?! My chin chin is bigger than your brain! At least I can put together a Gundam in within an hour!

    Korea: Stop making me jealous! Puff Puff Humbert already upset me with that one!

    England: I'd have to agree with Japan on this one becau-

    France: Shut up limey, I'm still sexy.

    England: *Pops up in anger* YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME FINISH! And....why is Korea here?!

    America: You people just never listen to the hero, do you? The hero is important! Did I mention I'm the hero?

    All: Yes.....

    China: Everyone here is SOOO immature. I think I'll settle this the extremely difficult way. So....CHINESE TAKEOUT ANYONE?!

    France: You'll never be as good a cook as me, ohonhonhon.

    Spain: *Pops out of apparently nowhere, what's with Hidekaz and his popping out of nowhere of the characters?!* Russia, why don't you use your trolly Eduard Khil mouth? You're rather quiet, no?

    Russia: Why me? I have a plan of my own. Lithuania's gonna epicly fail and return to my union, and so would Lativa, and then-

    Estonia: Good for you, Mr. Tough Guy. You just can't get me back.

    (Random babbling that's impossible to make out and is super annoying)

    Germany: ALL OF YOU SHUT THE F*** UP!!! This conference is to complain about modern issues, not the past ones. I seem to be the noisiest and most aggressive, so therefore, I'll lead this conference. If you have anything to say, please raise your hand and in a way that does not relate to the salute of my country's past.

    Italy: *Raises hand and not in a way that relates to-well you get the point*

    Germany: GERMANY RECOGNIZES HIS FRIEND ITALY!

    Italy: .....People of the world, we gather here to discuss the problems in modern society. Today, I want to get the point across that we shouldn't insult people with offensive labels, racism, and-

    Germany: *Whispers something in Italy's ear*

    Italy: Yes, and Holocaust jokes. Furthermore, I-

    America: Damn, this guy is BOR-ING! Let's just go to the intro!

    (Intro music. DAH DAH DAAH DAH DAAAAAAAH duhduhduhduhduhduhDUH.)

    Germany: It is said that long ago, there is some guy who can't get enough sex who conquered the Mediterranian Sea. He was rich, the also say. Also, this script sucks. His name....was the Roman Empire. The guy, not the script. Yeah, he pretty much had everything. Why am I saying this? Why not someone else? Well, anyway, one day he dissapeared, soooo....yeah.

    (DRAMATIC SOUND EFFECT!)

    Germany: Later, during World War I.(Is walking through a forest)....I'm supposed to be fighting a descendant of Rome...OH NOW I KNOW WHY I SAID ALL THAT! Anyway, he could be anywhere, so keep guard, my sticky. Also, I'm sorry about not sharing my wurst! I was to busy with my OTHER sticky friend!

    Stick: What other sticky friend?

    Germany: This condom from across the street.

    Stick:Riiight....

    Germany: I must keep my guard up, this guy MUST have some sort of plan...(Sees a box of tomatoes)Umm...

    To be continued!

    -CHIBITALIA-

    Narrator: Okay, is everyone listening? SHUT UP! YOU'RE SNOTTY, NOISY KIDS! Once upon a time, in a house called the Roman Empire...

    Chibitalia: It's next to my perverted brother France's house!

    Narrator: Newborn Italy lived with other snotty country children. One day, the incredibly hot Rome forced the snotty child away from his home. Italy then spent his time singing and drawing with his unusually handsome grandpa. Italy was good with art or whatever, so I think Rome was happy, I guess.

    Chibitalia: Drawing stinks! I should be wasting my time playing video games! But wait...Japan would be delighted, so I'd be making people happy. Decisions, decisions...well, I'm gonna be pissed when my brothers come, because I hate their guts, and....well you know.....

    Narrator: Unfortunately, when they returned....

    Holy Rome: YOU HAVE TO JOIN THE ROMAN EMPIRE OR DIE!

    Romano: F***ing bastard you are!

    Narrator: They became even bigger assholes.

    Holy Rome: STOP! I WANT YOU TO JOIN THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE!*Chases Chibitalia*

    Chibitalia: F*** YOOOOOUUUU!!!!*Runs*

    (Ending. Nee nee papa wain o chodai, etc., etc....)

    Germany: How long have I been staring at those tomatoes?!

    CONTINUED NEXT TIME...
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 5:12 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  2. #2
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    Okay you might want to make it R.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mariobrosvswariobros View Post
    Okay you might want to make it R.
    It's not bad enough for R!
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    Okay I'll review it.
    It's funny but It's just awful towards me for some reason. I like it though

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    Add-on... Feel free to take ideas...

    Narrator : 7 years, 234 days 1 hour 4 minutes 1.0081 seconds. The wars over. You lost.
    Germany : But why????!!!
    Germany decides to go invade Poland as a hobby.
    Poland : Erm... England said your fat. Can you invade there?
    Germany : I don't care, you are closer. You live next door.
    England : Germany! Your fat!
    Wales : Stop England. Every time you start a fight you get me to help. Now if you don't mind I have some sheep to make happy. Somehow. Here is a gun, you fight your own wars.
    England : How do I shoot? I don't see a button labled shoot.
    Germany : You pull that. I bet my secret base in Berlin is better than yours. Why am I telling you this.
    Last edited by iMillenium; 3rd August 2012 at 12:37 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by iMillenium View Post
    Add-on... Feel free to take ideas...

    Narrator : 7 years, 234 days 1 hour 4 minutes 1.0081 seconds. The wars over. You lost.
    Germany : But why????!!!
    Germany decides to go invade Poland as a hobby.
    Poland : Erm... England said your fat. Can you invade there?
    Germany : I don't care, you are closer. You live next door.
    England : Germany! Your fat!
    Wales : Stop England. Every time you start a fight you get me to help. Now if you don't mind I have some sheep to make happy. Somehow. Here is a gun, you fight your own wars.
    England : How do I shoot? I don't see a button labled shoot.
    Germany : You pull that. I bet my secret base in Berlin is better than yours. Why am I telling you this.
    Haha, I like that, but I am parodying the anime, and IDK where to throw that in, plus no Wales. Korea was added for the lulz.
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    Wales is a confirmed character, and Korea is a confirmed Character

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    Quote Originally Posted by mariobrosvswariobros View Post
    Wales is a confirmed character, and Korea is a confirmed Character
    I know he is, neither appear(ed) in the anime
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    Actually he has an animation error cameo in episode 14

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    Germany: The time...was still World War I. I was in a strange situation...with a tomato box. (Stares at box) Hmmm. I suppose a living creature might be in here...(Hits the box with his sticky friend)

    Box:I 'M THE BOX OF TOMATOES FAIRY FROM THE PLANET ITALIATOPIA! I come in peace, and I hope to be part of your society, Mr. Nazi sir. Please?

    Germany: The box has a brain and heart? Impossible, I'm gonna rip your guts out, Mr. Tomato Fairy Thing! (Grabs box)

    Box: NO! Nothing's inside, don't open me NOOOOO!

    Germany: RAAAUGGHH! THE POWER OF DEUTSCHBALLS!....I mean land.

    Italy: AAAAAHHHH DON'T SHOOT ME I DON'T WANT TO DIE I'M ONLY 20 AND ALSO I WANT TO FIT IN INTO THE MODERN WORLD! AND WHAT IF I DON'T DIE BUT I'M TERRIBLY INJURED IN A GOREY WAY IN WHICH I LIE IN MY OWN BLOOD?! I'LL DO ANYTHING I JUST DON'T WANNA DIIIEEEEEE!!!!

    (Intro, with all the dahdahdahdahdah stuff)

    Italy: DON'T KILL ME! I'M A VIRGIN!

    Germany: Tell that to Other Sticky Friend.

    Italy: You're mean! Waaaah!

    Germany: Hmm...this guy is supposedly a descendant of Rome, but...this wimp?(Picks up Italy)Umm...let me ask you a question. You wouldn't happen to be related to Rome, would you?

    Italy: You know Grandpa Rome?! WONDERFUL! I love you!

    Germany: This is.....(Gasp)a TRAP! He's trying to catch me off guard!

    Italy: GERITA GERITA! GERI-(gets kicked)Owww.....

    Germany: Not until then did I know that this encounter wou-Why am I speaking all mushy? I AM A MAN!

    To be continued.....

    -CHIBITALIA-

    France: Hey Holy Butthole! There are others to chase besides Douchaly!

    Chibitalia: He stalks me because I hate him....

    Holy Rome: You want to be powerful, right, or are you stupid?

    Chibitalia: ....I f***ing hate trick questions.

    Holy Rome: THEN YOU SHALL COME BY FORCE! (Drags Chibitalia) YAAAAAAA!

    Chibitalia: Noooooo!

    France: We shall duke it out over the chibi douche!

    Holy Rome: YAYAYAYAYAAYAAAAAA!!!

    France: Keeeeyaaah! (Pulls out sword) Ohonhonhonhon!

    Holy Rome: Pervert....

    Spain(In a bear suit): Want some free candy?

    Chibitalia: Si!

    How Italy became a stripper!

    Narrator: Italy was a rather attractive country for just a snotty child, but Rome is hotter. Everyone wanted Italy.

    HOWEVER, ITALY WAS WEAK.

    Narrator: Italy was weak, so teenage countries invaded his vital regions, most notably France, Spain, and Prussia. They make the BTT, or Bad Touch Trio. France started the trend by pulling down his pants and shoving the Eiffel Tower up his a**.

    Once again, the time was World War I.

    Germany: I captured that wimp and put him in my house...I hope I learn from him. He must have a master plan. Dude, the door's wide open. Aren't you gonna try and escape?!

    Italy: Why would I? I could study the average German man! Germany is very innovative. Do you think sausages and Volkswagens just pop out of nowhere?

    Germany: DEUTSCHBALLS! I mean, dude! You are a soldier! You should at least try to escape to gain your true potential and-ARE YOU ASLEEP?!

    Italy: Uhhh...no, I'm dead.

    Germany: Oh, look! The door magically opened and-

    Stick: No, that was me.

    Italy: Fine, I'll leave....(walks out door)

    Korea: (Charges in from outside)JAPAN'S BREASTS BELONG TO IM YUNG SOOOOOOOOOO!!!!(falls)

    Germany: .....VAT IS GOING ON?! Im Yung Soo?!

    Italy(Outside): You girls are sexy and umm...do you like pasta and quantum physics?(Goes back in after reject)

    Korea: Can I hang out with you guys? PLEEEEEASE?!

    (Ending....neeneepapawainocho-OH F*** IT)

    "Dude I have terrible news! Italy and Korea charged into the comfort of Deutschland....WHAT'RE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

    To be continued
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 5:19 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    Why do I feel I'm reading porn when I read this?
    It's hilarious! :P

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    Quote Originally Posted by mariobrosvswariobros View Post
    Why do I feel I'm reading porn when I read this?
    Because Im Yung Soo is here
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    Why is Korea spamming every scene?
    Germany eats a sausage.
    Korea : Hi

    Japan builds a gundam.
    Korea : Hi

    The earth ends.
    Korea : Hi

    Italy is held hostage.
    Korea : Hi

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    Quote Originally Posted by iMillenium View Post
    Why is Korea spamming every scene?
    Germany eats a sausage.
    Korea : Hi

    Japan builds a gundam.
    Korea : Hi

    The earth ends.
    Korea : Hi

    Italy is held hostage.
    Korea : Hi
    How can you NOT love Korea?
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    For the lack of gundams...

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    Italy: Hey Germany, I wrote you a song!

    Germany: ....you did that for me?! Okay then, start.

    Italy: Deutschland! Everything's beautiful in Deutschland! There's plenty of beer and sausage to go around, it is never safe and sound! Sing and drink with me, just don't drown! Everybody just loves Gerrrrmaaaany, I think there's not enough for you to seeee....an-

    Germany: F*** YOOOUUU! THAT WAS TERRIBLE!

    Italy: Is that a yes on the union?

    (Le Intro)

    (OHONHONHONHON)

    Germany: I find it illogical France wants all of my pants. I have to sew all these pants and give France all the cash I make off of them! At least I'm fueled on beer and sausage. And I have time for myself. I can daydream about the World's Largest Wurst all I want!

    Italy: Hey Deutschballs! Can I have a job? I'm lacking cash and-AAAAHHHHH!!!(flies out window)

    Germany: Don't ask me for a job you Italian doofus! All I can do is work 24/7 and pay back Francy-Pants!

    Italy: But...but Germany! Deutschland! Doitsu! If I could say it in Chinese I would!

    China*Randomly pops in*: Déguó!

    Italy: Showoff.

    Germany: .....I'll find you something.

    Italy: Dear Perverted and Older Brother, I got a job at Germany's! I get payed so much cash that I could die! But everything is overpriced, it's like Pokemon! Except health care isn't free.

    (Le time passes! Le World War 2 starts!)

    Italy: Pishity schmidt! I cannot believe Germany is attacking Francey-Pants again!

    "DUDE I HAVE TERRIBLE NEWS! KOREA AND ITALY CHARGED INTO THE COMFORT OF DEUTSCHLAND...WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

    Italy: Germany! I wanna support you and be big and strong! Also, I-AAAAHHHHHH!(gets sent out again)

    Italy: *returns*Hey I totally got kicked in the a** so I got sent back!

    Germany: I don't need you or that other guy's help!

    Korea:*Looking at porn*: What? Don't look at me!

    Italy: C'mon, we can be an alliance! I may not be strong, but I'm cute!

    Germany: Ummm....no comment.

    Italy: Think about in. When I'm in trouble, you'll save me. When you're in trouble, I'll let your sorry a** die!

    Korea: Yeah, what he said.(Scrolls down on his computer)

    Germany: Okay...we can do that. We don't have to f*** do we?

    Italy: Nope! Unless you want to please the fangirls.

    Korea: I'd say you'd have to.

    Germany: Shut it.

    So they formed an alliance. But in the end....

    Italy: Thanks for the water! Now I can make pasta again!

    Korea: And thanks for the Playboy magazines!

    Germany: You two are so wasteful.

    (Eyecatch. Yes, fics have eyecatches now. Deal with it.)

    (Random Asian music playing)

    Japan: I am f***ing upset, but I have to meat you.

    (Ending again....marukaite chikyuu maru-*gets hit with a shoe*)
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 5:25 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    Don't you think PG-14 is too low? Full of swears and porn/sexual references. It is a little too low...

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    Quote Originally Posted by iMillenium View Post
    Don't you think PG-14 is too low? Full of swears and porn/sexual references. It is a little too low...
    I guess, didn't expect it to get that far
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  19. #19
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    Okay then... You should change it ASAP!
    P.S Check out my profile! Go on, do it!
    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    Last edited by iMillenium; 5th August 2012 at 2:19 AM.

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    You can't change a fic's title, so I pm'd a mod to change it. I'll put it in the OP for now.
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    Okay... Keep on at it then... But don't rush it... Don't toss in sexual references that aren't funny...

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    Japan: Konnichiwa, I am Japan, and this show is F***ING RACIST! Anyway, I took sides with Germany because I had to, do I really want to be on the same side as Soviet? Seriously...

    Germany: It's great! We have 2 other members as well.

    Japan: Wonderful, but can they build a Gundam within an hour?! I DON'T THINK SO! I seriously hope it's not the fat one with the pasta or the one with the porno magazines.

    Germany: Well, I don't want to believe it either, but those are the guys.

    Korea: *Jumps on Japan* ALL YOUR BREAST ARE BELONG TO KOREA!

    Japan: The f***? He is.....pervy!

    Germany: Ja, that's kind of his thing.

    Japan: GET THE MOTHERF***ING GUY OF ME NO DON'T TOUCH ME THERE NOOOO-

    (Dunnn dunn dunn DAH DAAAAH....etc...)

    Germany: Japan, were you able to make those tanks using those blueprints?

    Japan: Oh? *Screwing an arm into a Gundam* Nah, I had Korea do it. All I can do is shrink stuff. WHY YOU EXPECT JAPANESE MAN DO EVERYTHING?!

    Germany: No. F***ING. WAY.

    Japan: It's no big deal, actually. See, this is the shrunken tank. *Shows* Korea built it, and we had to "get along", explaining why....my chest has red marks.

    (Tank undergoes GUNDAM TRANSFORMATION!)

    Japan: That was also my addition to the machine.

    Germany: MEIN GOTT!

    (Eyecatch. Like I said, fics have eyecatches now, it's new, deal with it.)

    (YAOI IN AN OPEN BATH HOUSE WITH JAPAN AND ITALY! Okay, no yaoi, sorry.)

    Italy: Germany told me you could shrink stuff. Is that true? Can you do me?

    Japan: I'm....not currently doing requests.

    Italy: OH GOD AWESOME! You shrank it! Your thing!

    Japan: F*** YOU! It's always been that size!

    Italy: I'm sorry....

    Japan: Sorry? SORRY?! *Gets out katana*

    Italy: Waaaah!

    CHIBITALIA

    Narrator: Damn, Spain looks depressed. What's up with that?

    Chibitalia: YO TONTO! What's with the ugly long face?!

    Spain: Just get outta my face, kid. You're gonna get eaten.

    Chibitalia: The f***?

    Spain:Meh, you'll find out soon, anyway.

    Chibitalia: ....I still don't get it.

    THE ITALIAN WARS!

    Narrator: During the Italian Wars, the snotty child Italy was owned by Austria. I guess later the same will happen to Germany, and we'll all die. Anyway, Italy had a sucky life and....the end.

    Austria: Listen, kid. You belong to me. All you gotta do is totally obey me and not ask any questions. Any questions?

    Chibitalia: Yes...do you serve pa-

    Austria: I SAID NO QUESTIONS! (Throws Chibitalia out the window)

    (Epic eyecatch again...)

    Germany: The two Asian guys in my crew aren't the best. There's that one, who builds Gundams and brags about it. He also always says stuff like-

    Japan: I'll think about it. By the way, that means no. SUCKAH.

    Germany: His name is Japan. He's rude, yet powerful and intimidating. And then, there's that one. All he does is look at porn and glomp Japan all day.

    Korea: Shut it, or I'll ban even this PARODY from my country!

    Germany: And then there's that one......

    To be continued, maybe!

    Italy: Ciao, it's me Italy! We're in the middle of World War II! My we I mean Germany, Japan, Korea, and ME! I know it's historically inaccurate but who cares? We stopped on an island for a vacation and stuff gets all dramatic! What's gonna happen? Find out on Part 5 of Hetalia:Asse Powers!

    (Ending.....bleh. Stupid song.)
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 5:35 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    I read it even though I'm not 16....... anyways it was interesting. Eyep. http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...ti27Nfk6q8pBiw


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    - i've claimed zelos wilder and tales of the abyss

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    C'mon, an 11 year old wrote this. Glad you like it....any improvements need to be made?
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeamRocketGrunt View Post
    C'mon, an 11 year old wrote this. Glad you like it....any improvements need to be made?
    Yes Gilbert put Gilbert in there and never take him out. LOTS AND LOTS OF GILBERT!
    Also it's good so far And Korea was an ally.
    Last edited by VS; 6th August 2012 at 10:45 PM.

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