2nd August 2012, 10:42 PM
[APH - PG-16 - Parody]Hetalia:Asse Powers
Well, it's me TRG again, and I wanted to write a parody of my favorite anime! In this craaazy fic, Italy is somewhat intellegent, Germany is....well? German, and Japan has anger issues! And about the swear filter, I'll put the first letter and then asterisks so you can at least know the words they're saying.
America: Dude, I seriously think I should handle out this meeting because I'm the hero and a true genius. With blabbing too much and yelling opinions, we can definately solve the world's problems. Okay dudes I think since I'm the hero I'll totally do everything and save your asses.
Japan: *Is slamming table* Are you out of your mind?! My chin chin is bigger than your brain! At least I can put together a Gundam in within an hour!
Korea: Stop making me jealous! Puff Puff Humbert already upset me with that one!
England: I'd have to agree with Japan on this one becau-
France: Shut up limey, I'm still sexy.
England: *Pops up in anger* YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME FINISH! And....why is Korea here?!
America: You people just never listen to the hero, do you? The hero is important! Did I mention I'm the hero?
China: Everyone here is SOOO immature. I think I'll settle this the extremely difficult way. So....CHINESE TAKEOUT ANYONE?!
France: You'll never be as good a cook as me, ohonhonhon.
Spain: *Pops out of apparently nowhere, what's with Hidekaz and his popping out of nowhere of the characters?!* Russia, why don't you use your trolly Eduard Khil mouth? You're rather quiet, no?
Russia: Why me? I have a plan of my own. Lithuania's gonna epicly fail and return to my union, and so would Lativa, and then-
Estonia: Good for you, Mr. Tough Guy. You just can't get me back.
(Random babbling that's impossible to make out and is super annoying)
Germany: ALL OF YOU SHUT THE F*** UP!!! This conference is to complain about modern issues, not the past ones. I seem to be the noisiest and most aggressive, so therefore, I'll lead this conference. If you have anything to say, please raise your hand and in a way that does not relate to the salute of my country's past.
Italy: *Raises hand and not in a way that relates to-well you get the point*
Germany: GERMANY RECOGNIZES HIS FRIEND ITALY!
Italy: .....People of the world, we gather here to discuss the problems in modern society. Today, I want to get the point across that we shouldn't insult people with offensive labels, racism, and-
Germany: *Whispers something in Italy's ear*
Italy: Yes, and Holocaust jokes. Furthermore, I-
America: Damn, this guy is BOR-ING! Let's just go to the intro!
(Intro music. DAH DAH DAAH DAH DAAAAAAAH duhduhduhduhduhduhDUH.)
Germany: It is said that long ago, there is some guy who can't get enough sex who conquered the Mediterranian Sea. He was rich, the also say. Also, this script sucks. His name....was the Roman Empire. The guy, not the script. Yeah, he pretty much had everything. Why am I saying this? Why not someone else? Well, anyway, one day he dissapeared, soooo....yeah.
(DRAMATIC SOUND EFFECT!)
Germany: Later, during World War I.(Is walking through a forest)....I'm supposed to be fighting a descendant of Rome...OH NOW I KNOW WHY I SAID ALL THAT! Anyway, he could be anywhere, so keep guard, my sticky. Also, I'm sorry about not sharing my wurst! I was to busy with my OTHER sticky friend!
Stick: What other sticky friend?
Germany: This condom from across the street.
Germany: I must keep my guard up, this guy MUST have some sort of plan...(Sees a box of tomatoes)Umm...
To be continued!
Narrator: Okay, is everyone listening? SHUT UP! YOU'RE SNOTTY, NOISY KIDS! Once upon a time, in a house called the Roman Empire...
Chibitalia: It's next to my perverted brother France's house!
Narrator: Newborn Italy lived with other snotty country children. One day, the incredibly hot Rome forced the snotty child away from his home. Italy then spent his time singing and drawing with his unusually handsome grandpa. Italy was good with art or whatever, so I think Rome was happy, I guess.
Chibitalia: Drawing stinks! I should be wasting my time playing video games! But wait...Japan would be delighted, so I'd be making people happy. Decisions, decisions...well, I'm gonna be pissed when my brothers come, because I hate their guts, and....well you know.....
Narrator: Unfortunately, when they returned....
Holy Rome: YOU HAVE TO JOIN THE ROMAN EMPIRE OR DIE!
Romano: F***ing bastard you are!
Narrator: They became even bigger assholes.
Holy Rome: STOP! I WANT YOU TO JOIN THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE!*Chases Chibitalia*
Chibitalia: F*** YOOOOOUUUU!!!!*Runs*
(Ending. Nee nee papa wain o chodai, etc., etc....)
Germany: How long have I been staring at those tomatoes?!
CONTINUED NEXT TIME...
Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 5:12 PM.
Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi
He's freaking hot.