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Thread: [APH - PG-16 - Parody]Hetalia:Asse Powers

  1. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by mariobrosvswariobros View Post
    Yes Gilbert put Gilbert in there and never take him out. LOTS AND LOTS OF GILBERT!
    Also it's good so far And Korea was an ally.
    This isn't meant to be historically accurate. And I was planning on throwing Gilbert in there anyway.
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  2. #27
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    Improvements - Kill of Korea...
    Here's an idea...

    Italy : Here Korea, take this orange coat. Let's be friends.
    Korea : Mkay?
    Italy : Japan?
    Japan : Yes?
    Italy : Ready?
    Japan : Yes.

    *Korea walks out of the house. Japan jumps out with 594776 gundams next to him*

    Korea : How da f*** did you make all of them?
    Japan : Get your pervy a** out of here.
    Korea : But why? But why you no rike porn?
    Japan : F*** off.

    *The gundams kill Korea*

  3. #28
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    Korea is the #1 thing that makes this interesting.
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  4. #29

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    I haven't really read it yet, but I've noticed you don't put a space after your colons. It's just kind of a standard thing. Like putting a space after a period.

    Quote Originally Posted by Correct
    Character 1: Hey, would you like you walk home with me?
    Character 2: Yeah, sure!
    Quote Originally Posted by Less correct
    Character A:I'm back!
    Character B:Oh, welcome back, dear!

  5. #30
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    My apologies, I'll do that from now on.
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  6. #31
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    Korea annoys me, obviously... Any day now he will turn around with a immaginary gun and kill germany... In his imagination...

  7. #32
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    Italy: Hey guys! I found a crap-I mean a carp! Can I eat it?!

    Germany: Fine, just don't....kill yourself.

    Japan: Yo Mr. Naziman, I got some fruit. You can find alot of s*** if you look a bit.

    Italy: Woooah! That stuff's badass! Can I have some?

    Japan: Sure, there's plenty at the bottom of that ocean. (Snicker)

    Germany: Japan....

    Italy: Dudes! Let's swim in here! The water's great! WHEEEE! (Splashing)

    Japan: It's not bad here, once you think about it.

    Germany: Is it not?

    Japan: Yeah....either way, we're still screwed.

    Germany: I guess you're right on that one.

    Japan: WILL SOMEONE ****ING SAVE US?!

    Korea: Meh, I doubt it. Besides, people are enjoying the finer things: Pornography, barbeque, and of course, the classic banning of stuff that doesn't please you.

    (Intro....)

    Italy: Heeey! I made some preparations for-

    Germany: YOU'RE LATE! But okay...

    Italy: (Opens suitcase) TAH DAH! You see, I have pasta, pasta, and more pasta. Also, those Gundams and strange magazines are for the Asian guys. They're so weird...

    Germany: HOW DOES THAT CRAP HELP?!

    Italy: Oh yeah, the war stuff. I almost forgot. I have some for you to use...

    Germany: F-for me to use?!

    Italy: I spent all night on these babies!

    Germany: They're hand-made?!

    Italy: Here they are! (Hands over the objects)

    Germany: Really, man? Boxes of rigatoni?

    Italy: Best pasta ever, dude!

    (Eyecatch. I'm not explaining again)

    Italy: Germany! I felt bad about bringing useless crap, so I made more appropreate preporations! (Opens suitcase) I ADDED A PIZZA!

    Germany: I love how FUNimation pointed that out.

    Italy: Don't we all?

    Germany: Do you have anything for BATTLE?!

    Italy: I have Stefan Gordy...

    Germany: No...

    Italy: Please excuse me while I make a sandpasta.

    CHIBITALIA!

    Narrator: Snotty child Italy began working as an un-payed servant for the Holy Butthole.

    Chibitalia: These are the ugliest paintings I've ever seen. I'm gonna draw something that'll knock that Austria guy's socks off. Hmmm...I can only find ink and a bru-AHA! (Paints a toothbrush moustache on Austria's self portrait)

    Austria: That's just messed up.

    Japan: Germany....about our team name....

    Germany: Team name? Seriously?

    Japan: Yeah...me and Mr. Pasta were just talking about it. What do you think about Ax-

    Germany: I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT - I DON'T LIKE IT!

    Japan: BUT I DIDN'T EVEN EXPLAIN!

    Germany: Fine, explain it.

    Japan: You see, our countries will connect and form an axis, and the rest of the world will turn on that axis, so WE'LL DESTROY THE WORLD!

    Germany: I still don't like it.

    Japan: SAY YOU LIKE IT OR I'LL SLICE YOUR HEAD OFF WITH MY KATANA!

    Germany: I like it, I like it!

    Japan: Thank you.

    Germany: Yeaahh....in German, that would be Eine Achse, I think...

    Japan: Sounds badass.

    Italy: IN ITALIAN THAT'D BE ASSE!

    Japan: That sounds even more badass...minus the "bad" part. You know, I kinda like it.

    Germany: Yeah, it has a nice ring.

    Japan: So....it's official.

    Germany: The Asse Powers.

    Italy: At least the Anus Forces aren't spying on us right? Hehe...

    America (In a bush) : They're on to us!

    To be continued!

    Aaaand the ending. Yaknow, it's sorta growing on me.
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 6:37 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  8. #33
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    I'm going to personally label this chapter in memory of Toobworm it makes me feel better.
    It's not as good as the other chapters
    MAKE MORE GILBERT!

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    And now, a dramatic scene with Italy and Germany warming up to the fire, while Italy is sleeping.

    Japan: We may me screwed, but at least we're screwed alone.

    America: (in a bush again)WE FOUND THE ASSE POWAHZ! We gotta kill 'em, for reals yo!

    England: They look sinister.

    Russia: This water pipe is for their little asse asses.

    (INTRO!)

    Austria: WHY DID YOU FORM AN ALLIANCE WITH ITALY YOU VOLKSWAGEN WITHOUT THE SWAG!?

    Germany: You aren't my Führer anymore, got it? Leave me alone!

    Austria: YES I AM! And that Italy is a moro-well, he's smart, but worthless!

    Germany: Take a chill pill.

    Austria: NEVAAAAH! (Pulls out tazer)

    Germany: Can't you just play your stupid piano or something?

    Austria: NEIN!

    Germany: Get away from meeeee!

    Austria: Fine. I'll play the damn piano. (Starts playing)

    Germany: That was an ugly piece.

    (EYECATCH!)

    Japan: (Makes a s'more) Oh yes.....(shoves in mouth)RAAAAHHH! I AM KIKU HONDA, DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS CRUNCHY ON THE OUTSIDE AND SOFT ON THE INSIDE!!!

    Italy: I didn't know that was your full name.

    Japan: How disrespectful of you! (Smacks Italy)

    America: (Still in the freaking bush. You expect different?) Ugh, those morons forgot the chocolate! Also, they're making fools of us! We'll roast marshmallows, too!

    CHIBITALIA!

    Narrator: Austria is very strict and a very stupid and douchey Führer. He often scolds Italy, because Italy is a rotten little child. He gets stood on if he offends Austria, so therefore a huge rivalry brewed between them. However, there are times when Italy likes Austria...wait, there are?! (Checks papers) Nope, I was wrong.

    (Eyecatch)

    England: Ohhhhh my dick's the size of Big Ben, all the ladies want it, they want to wank with me-

    America: OH SHUT THE F*** UP

    (Eyeca-what's with all the eyecatches in this one?!)

    Germany: Austria's been living in my house, pissing me off. He really bugs me.

    Austria: WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR UNDERWEAR?!

    Germany: Because...it has a hole in the crotch.

    Austria: Who cares?! WEAR THE DAMN UNDERWEAR!!!

    Germany: Thus, I'm wearing this crotchless underwear.

    "Great story, Grandpa!"

    (Another eyecatch? Really man?)

    Germany: I wonder how Austria is now...

    Italy: Ask him, he's been there the whole time playing the piano.

    Korea: I noticed that, too!

    Germany: FFFFFUUUUUUUUU-

    Nee nee papa wain o chod-of f*** it.
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 6:41 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  10. #35
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    America: Ha-ha-ha-ha! We have to save the world from totally dying. Also, I would hate it if that Kiku guy bombed Hawaii, hint-hint! Sooo....we are gonna kill all of the Asse Powers! (Smacks the chalkboard to let out inappropriate anger) WE'LL START WITH ITALY BECAUSE THEY FAIL AT AUTOMOBILES AND RUN ON WINE!

    (intro...)

    America: (Being so obnoxious and eating burgers) So let's start our meeting. This guy started it up, this guy who shows power in engineering and runs on sausage. He's like, buff, not that I look at his body or anything, it's like-

    England: Ugh, stop eating! I can't hear wha-

    America: OKAY! (Starts drinking a soft drink) Sooo...after hours of thinking....I'M THE HERO!

    England: Settle down, gentlemen!

    Italy: HEY GERMANY! I want you to meet my older brother, Romano. Isn't he cooool?!

    Romano: Shut the f*** up and stop b****in'. You can suck my balls, buddy.

    Germany: Well, that was pleasant.

    Italy: I'm the north and he's the south! So I'm the brains and he's the dick! But the dick spent more time with some guy he likes to call "Tonto". Now you say hi, too, Romano.

    Romano: Shut it, pasta bastard. I greeted the potato douche just earlier.

    Italy: That wasn't nice!

    Romano: SHUT IT! (Strangles Italy)

    Germany: I think I see a running gag coming on!

    (Eyecatch!)

    Romano: POTATO BASTARD! I need to have a word with you about unifying you and my brother.

    Germany: What's your problem?

    Romano: My brother pretty much worships you! He eats wurst, drives a beetle and a bird pooped on my head. IT'S YOUR FAULT!

    Germany: Bird poop is my fault.

    Romano: YOU WILL GO TO HELL DAMN POTATO JERK!

    France: Hahaha! I sneaked into Germany! Now I can take over the world and-

    Romano: AHHH! IT'S FRANCE THE RAPIST! HE DID TONTO IN THE A** NO LESS THAN 3 TIMES!!!

    France: Shut it. I'm too wimpy to take over a country anyway.

    (EYECATCH!)

    Romano: Hey potato bastard!

    Germany: What is it this time?

    Romano: I have a weapon to get my revenge!

    Germany: Is it Verka Serduchka?

    Romano: Yes. Yes it is.

    Germany: That is just.....I was being sarcastic there.

    Romano: TA-DAH! (Puts Verka next to Germany) HAHAHAHA! You look hilarious with him!

    Germany: (Tosses Verka) Now YOU look hilarious with him.

    Romano: I do?! DAMN IT! Don't look!

    (Eyecatch.)

    Romano: DAMN IT! I LOOKED FUNNY WITH VERKA SERDUCHKAAAA!

    Italy: It's okay, Germany doesn't care about Verka! He's super nice and sexy. He knows how to tie shoes. He's very muscular and very sexy. He's an interesting and sexy guy, don't be afraid of him.

    Romano: Veneziano.....can you.....praise me like that?

    Italy: Whaaaa? (Steps back)

    Romano: AUUUGH! (Italian Despair) I F***ING HATE YOUR F***ING GUUUUTS! (Kaboom!)

    Italy: Ooooh, pretty lights.

    -CHIBITALIA-

    Holy Butthole: Okaaaay...so I'm home, and....AAHHH! Italy in my home?! Umm, I have to make a good approach. (Tugs Italy's dress)

    Chibitalia: Hmmm? (Turns)

    Holy Butthole: YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO YOUR FAMILYYYYY!

    Chibitalia: I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! PLEEEAAASE!

    Holy Butthole: Wait just a minute. (Walks into his bedroom) Yeeeaaah... (Grabs a wanking pillow) WHOOOO! YEAAAH! WHOOOO!

    Austria: Shut up.

    (A phone is ringing. A telephone, to be exact. Yeah.)

    TO BE CONTINUED...

    (Oh my God, guess what? It's the ending song! Yaaay! Let's all sing along!)
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 6:45 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  11. #36
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    it is so awesome! i love it so far X)

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by mite75 View Post
    it is so awesome! i love it so far X)
    Thank you. I know it's getting worse as I progress, which is weird, but glad you like it
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  13. #38
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    The phone is still ringing. It's Germany's phone! He has such a sweaty face...

    (Intro)

    Germany: Ugggh. (Picks up phone)

    Italy on the phone: GERMANY! DOITSU! DEUTSCHLAND! I WENT WITH THIS GUY WHO SAID HE HAD HIDEKAZ HIMARUYA, BUT IT WAS SATOSHI TAJIRI!

    America: Look, I caught Italy!

    England: Okay then, I bet he knows things.

    Italy: I know things.

    America: WHEEEE! We'll force him to work!

    Italy: Look at me, I live next door, AND I'VE GOT PANTS ON MY HEAD! And look, I'm Italian! See? See?

    America: What'll we do with him?

    England: I wrote a letter to Deutschballs asking that. He replied that he needs a life supply of pasta, a football, and he'll murder you if you hold him down.

    America: OKIEZ! (Holds up American football)

    England: You're stupid.

    America: Some Ragu then?

    Italy in the F*** Box: AAAUGGH! They shipped me back to you! (Shipping, you're doing it wrong.)

    Germany: Welcome back...

    Italy on the phone: GERMANY! DOITSU! DEUTSCHLAND! I WENT WITH A GUY WHO SAID HE HAD YAMAPI, BUT IT WAS JAMES ROH!

    Germany: What's with you and famous Japs?

    France: I catchded Italian guy!

    England: He's stupid. We need to lock him up in jail or something. (Feeds him a scone)

    Italy: GAAAAAAH! I don't know what that was, but it wasn't pasta, I know that!

    England: It's....bad. I see. (Cries in his emo corner)

    Italy: Mushed potatoes by Deutschballs are better than this!!!

    Germany: (Singing to the tune of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes) Beer, sausage potatoes, po-ta-toes! Beer, sau-

    Italy in the F*** Box: I'm baaaack!

    Germany: (Sigh) Welcome back.

    The phone rings AGAIN. (Damn, how repetitive!)

    Italy on phone: GERMA-whatever, I'm in Africa and I can't tie my shoes!

    England: Haha! I caught Mr. Balls by using Italy.

    Germany: Ffffuuuuu-

    America: You can be Hero #2!

    France: Ohonhonhonhon!

    Germany: I AM NOT REVEALING EVERYTHING!

    Italy: NOOOO DON'T POINT A GUN AT ME! I'LL SAY ANYTHING!

    Germany: Now I want the old dick-tator back.

    Italy: Ummm...Germany is an interesting guy. He must collect porn and sausage, and not the food, you know? I saw him watching this video that included this girl without any clothes, it was weird! I cannot believe Germany.

    Korea: I wrote that!

    Germany: AAAUGGHH! I....hate you.

    -CHIBITALIA-

    Narrator: Italy is a huge and picky eater. What do you expect from a snotty child?

    Chibitalia: I'll be pissed if there's no pasta.

    (Holy Butthole is walking around and notices Italy.)

    Chibitalia: Damn, this s*** gross!

    (Holy Butthole is looking down at some food he prepared.)

    Chibitalia: Thank all asses holy! I found food! (Starts eating) Damn....this tastes like cow crap!

    Holy Butthole: Ugh.

    Austria: (Smacks Chibitalia) You are an a**.

    Chibitalia: I know you are, but what am I?

    Austria: (Throws Chibitalia in a prison) Now stay here and think about what you have done.

    Chibitalia: Whatevaaaar! I'm so hungry...

    Holy Butthole: Oh I am so dead.

    The phone is ringing! It's Japan's phone! This could be good.

    Italy on phone: JAPAN! HELP MEEEEE! SUSHI IS SCARY!

    To be continued!

    (Ending...)
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 6th October 2012 at 6:50 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  14. #39
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    America: Okay dudes today we'll discuss each nation's role in this war. I've placed this official looking paper thingy in front of you. First, Limey Dude, you'll back me up.

    England: It's one of those days...

    America: Flashy Bi Guy will also back me up.

    France: Yup.

    America: And lastly, Sir Vodka Tetris! You'll have the most important task of all: To back me up. So learn your role stupids.

    Russia: (Raises hand) Wait a minute, I have a question.

    America: Okay, good for you. Moving on.

    Russia: Hold it, I mean...can I ask that question?

    America: Is asking if you could ask the question the question?

    Russia: Just shut up and tell me what YOU'RE gonna do.

    America: Telling you wouldn't be shutting up, would it?

    Russia: You know what? That's....that's it. I can't.....work with you anymore. (Walks out the door and slams it shut)

    America: .....I'M THE HERO!

    (Cue overly dramatic intro!)

    England: No way that'll work, Typical American. (Cue look of disapproval!)

    America: Shut up Limey-Face. I'm smart!

    England: Why don't you go do something productive like beat up the guy with sausages and cheeses? Ever since that Revolutionary War thing you've been on my back. Following me. Wanting to join again. Also, the only thing you think about is burgers and porn.

    America: Okay, I have to admit that's true. Just....without the burgers. Also, those pastries you gave me....they were disgusting! They tasted like a pile of s*** a car ran over!

    England: YOU DARE INSULT MY SCONES?! Die! (Slices off America's arm) How do you like that?!

    America: I can live with it. I'm left handed anyway.

    This is a typical meeting of the Anus Forces.

    (Eyecatch!)

    France: Don't you guys think that's enough? You're getting the USUK shippers excited!

    England: Oh, well.....

    America: I guess I was a little i-NO I WASN'T! I WAS SUPER MATURE! HEROHEROHERO!!!

    England: Here we go. You fail at life, Typical American.

    France: Ohonhonhon! Those military outfits aren't sexy enough!

    America and England: YOU'RE SO FLASHY!!!!

    France: You give me pleasure. Ohonhonhon.

    (Le eyecatch)

    England: Don't act so tough, you wimp!

    France: Shut your face!

    China: (Walks in) Ni-hao! That's how I say hi in Chinese!

    England: Shut it.

    China: Why do Europeans love fighting so much? It's unforgivable! If I work on the plans, I win! We all win! RAMEN NOODLES! (Writes on board) So I decided Chna will lead us, the end.

    England: DON'T DECIDE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WITHOUT OUR INPUT! I...hate that guy.

    America: GUY!?

    (Side-note: China looks like a woman.)

    China: Can you ay "ni-hao"?

    America: SHUT IT! (Smacks China)

    France: Why are the Anus so dumb?!

    (Eyecatch!)

    France: We should re-work-out this plan.

    Russia: (Walks back in) What did I miss?

    All other Anus Forces: (facepalm)

    England: Okay...(Starts writing, then reveals epic chibis of the Asse)So if we divide the-

    America: YOU FORGETTEDED ME!

    England: Then you'll take down Japan.

    America: But....I can't do that! I'm a die-hard weeaboo! And also, onigiri freaks me out!

    All the other Anus Forces: Typical American...

    -CHIBITALIA-

    Holy Butthole: Hey Italy, teach me to draw or PAY!

    Chibitalia: No, you're an amateur. I can't teach you.

    Holy Butthole: Let me just paint a rabbit. (Paints) Uggh...it looks awful.

    Chibitalia: Ya got that right! Look at its leg! It looks like a friggin' dick!

    Holy Butthole: I hate your guts!

    Chibitalia: It's supposed to be like this! (Forcefully grabs Holy Butthole's arm)

    Holy Butthole: Aaaaugh! I'm...going home. (Leaves)

    (Le ending. My name is France and I approve this chapter.)

    France: Hey, Russia. You were smiling the whole meeting, are you just naive?

    Russia: Oh? Oh, yes. I lived in a cold and lonely place with jokes like "In Soviet Russia" this and "In Soviet Russia" that. I'm just happy to see people making a racket.

    France: Wow....sucks to be you.

    Russia: Also, I'll probably have to say goodbye soon. (EVIL FACE!!!) When I see those fags next time, I will smash their faces in!

    France: Muah! Zat is lovely!

    TO BE CONTINUED!
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 17th October 2012 at 11:46 PM. Reason: Editing grammar for spiffiness :3
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  15. #40
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    France: Seriously? I wasn't invited to the after-party?!

    (Le cue smexy intro)

    France: I keep hearing they had fun, FUN WITHOUT THE NAUGHTY DEFINITION?! ZAT IS CRUEL! (Approaches conference room) I DON'T GET IT! Try hard, be strong. And not that kind of hard. Not until later. I AM FRA-wait, how many wars did I lose again? Okay, think back. Think when I was powerful!

    (Dah-DUN!)

    England: Look at that, you're depending on a girl to do your work. Stupid.

    France: No, wrong! It was a coincidence you stole my a**, I think maybe God had too much wine letting that happen! I hate you Iggybutt! ALWAAAAAYS!

    England: Hey Spain. I'ma kick your butt.

    France: I WIN! (Starts smacking Spain)

    (Da-DUN! Again.)

    Prussia: AUSTRIA! Now how do you feel abo-

    France: I WIN I WIN I WIN! (Starts smacking Austria)

    Austria: You, sir, are a huge dick.

    France: See? I can be strong.

    (Dramatic words. Very dramatic words.)

    Germany: Guten tag, my good sir. Now can yo-

    France: Yes I do want to see the back seat of your Volkswagen.

    Germany: Is rape your only hobby?

    -CHIBITALIA-

    Holy Butthole: Ah? (Spots a rat) A rat...Italy would be horrified seeing that thing. Now to kill it! (Starts chasing it) Hold it right there you piece of-ahh!

    Rat: Suckerrrrr! (Gets under some cloth...)

    Holy Butthole: I have you now! (Lifts)

    Chibitalia: WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DAMN HOLY BUTTHOLE?! YOU WERE TRYING TO TOUCH MY *SS! WELL GUESS WHAT, YOU CAN'T, YOU PERVERT!

    Holy Butthole: Aaaaah!!! (Runs into his closet)

    Narrator: As well as the snotty children Italy and Holy Butthole, there was a girl named Hungary, who was in a similar situation to-oh who cares. Now to the good part: Even though she knows Italy is male, she makes him wear dresses.

    Hungary: You look so adorable! I wish you weren't such a douche. You remind me of your brother.

    Chibitalia: WHAT THE F*** DUDE?! Hey, Holy Butthole! Look! I'M WEARING HUNGARY'S CLOTHES! DERRRR I'M POOR!

    Holy Butthole: Haha. Not bad. I think maybe...umm....(gets closer)

    Chibitalia: DAAAH! NO RACISM INTENDEEEEDDDDD!!!

    Narrator: In this house, the people are always screaming at poor Mr. Austria. Little does Austria know that he finds he loves the feeling when he starts dictating Germany.

    Hungary: What's with them? Poor Austria must be suffering! It'd be kill or be killed, family or not....

    Chibitalia: If it means killing my brothers, I'm in.

    Narrator: Since the Butthole suffers major depression, this makes it worse.

    (ENDING!!!)

    France: England, hey, quick question, can I....ra-I mean...marry you?

    England: Wanker.

    To be continued!
    Last edited by TeamRocketGrunt; 17th October 2012 at 11:42 PM.
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  16. #41
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    Narrator: The snotty children Holy Butthole and Chibitalia lived with eachother, but only for a brief time. Their house kept getting invaded vital regions (RAPE). So, what the f*** will happen to the cu-ugly children? See after the intro!

    (INTRO)

    Chibitalia: I woke up in the morning and only three of us were in this stupid house. By three of us, I mean Austria the soon-to-be dictator, Hungary the poor girl, and me! I tried to ask him where the blonde butthole guy was, but he just said-

    Austria: Go get me a drink, and make it quick.

    Chibitalia: So I went and got the douchebag a glass of water, depressed.

    Hungary: WHAT HAPPENED!?

    Austria: I.....became independent.

    Chibitalia: Meanwhile, outside...

    Holy Butthole: Hey, Italy...

    Chibitalia: You got a problem with my cleaning?

    Holy Butthole: No. (Holds out hand) Italy, there's something I have to ask you. Will you.....form an alliance with me?

    Chibitalia: Let me think. No.

    Holy Butthole: ARE YOU BALLS? You don't wanna live here forever, do you? Because if you do, stupidity is bad and you should feel bad.

    Chibitalia: Well.....your gay pride is very cute. But I still say no, dickwad. Please, you're fine as a Holy Butthole, not a Holy A**.

    Holy Butthole: I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE! (Betrayal!)

    (Chibitalia should return sometime!)

    The Anus Forces meeting was an epic fail.

    England: Uggggh! I always fight and get nothing good from it.

    Rabid Pink Bunny: HELLERZ!

    England: (Gasp) RABID PINK BUNNY! You came to see ME?!

    Rabid Pink Bunny: If "see" is what you call it. (Bites England's shoulder)

    England: Hmm...? ......YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

    America: Yo Limey! I gotta tell you about this huge burger I ate!

    England: GET THIS F***ING RABBIT OFF OF ME! IT'S INFECTED! INFECTED! MORE INFECTED THAN ONE DIRECTION!

    America: You can....handle that on your own.

    (EYECATCH!)

    Italy: GERMANY! I WANT YOU AND ME TO FU-

    Germany: NEIN! Well.....(leans in)

    Italy: Oooooh, a kiss!

    Germany: Italy...I...I always......HATED YOU! (smacks Italy)

    Italy: He smacked me....damn it.

    France: I'll say it once more....will you.....ra-MARRY ME?!

    To be rapetinued!
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  17. #42
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    This is kinda taking a turn for the worst TBH...

    Try to make it a little more like the first chapter...

  18. #43
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    I know. I don't really like the new Asses. I try my best. :P)

    France: England, I have a question. A stupidly sexy one, but still a question. Will you....ra-marry me?

    England: WHAT THE FU-

    (Intro!)

    England: ....Will there be scones there?

    France: Would you like scones there?

    England: I would like scones there.

    France: Then there will be scones there. Ohonhonhonhon.

    England: So.....how do we start?

    France: Here. (Gives marriage registration form)

    England: Delightful.

    France: Just sign it riiiiight...(points)there.

    England: Okay, then. (Signs)

    (Awkward silence.)

    England: W-wait. What the FrUK did I just do?

    France: We're a couple now. Hooray....

    England: I guess that's not so bad. What should we do until the ceremony?

    France: I got a good idea. (Begins to drag England away)

    England: WHAT IN BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?

    (Eyecatch.)

    Germany: DEUTSCHLAAAAAND!

    Italy: Eine!

    Japan: Zwei.

    Korea: Porn!

    Germany: This is Asse training! And since I am the German here, I know how to train. That, and party. German sparkle parties. And Nazi parties. Yes, pun intended.

    Japan: WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?!

    Germany: Oh, yeah. So, you have absolutely no weapons, and you meet a British gentleman. What do you do?

    Italy: That's....an easy one. You go and ask him if he's Harry Styles!

    Germany: Close enough. Japan, you try.

    Japan: YEEEAAAH! I KNOW THIS ONE! You totally make a bunch of Gundams and use them to kill the innocent British man.

    Germany: We're getting there.

    Korea: Oooh, ooh! I know, I know! You do what we Koreans do! Watch porn, surf the internet, and dance Gangnam Style!

    Germany: I give up, you three do what you do.

    (An hour later!)

    We see a British dude in the bushes.

    England: So wank me maybe! (Takes out earbuds) Oh, my bad.

    (Two hours later!)

    Japan: This training is a load of UNSANITIZED CHIN CHIN!

    Italy: I like it.

    Korea: Whatever. All I want is hentai.

    Italy: All I want is pasta!

    Japan: All I want is desu.

    Everyone: I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

    Germany: So a guy from One Direction comes and asks you out. What do you do?

    Japan: REJECT HIM, SAY YOU'RE STRAIGHT, AND SLICE OFF HIS FACE WITH A KATANA!

    Germany: Correct!

    England: (Creeps in the bushes) None of you know who you're dealing with! I will spy you well, kids....hehe.

    Germany: Okay, we're done. Go call up Psy, Verka Serduchka, and Yamapi, stat! I will be there to shake my German engineer booty!

    Korea: On it, sir! I have Psy on speed dial!

    England: D'ARVIT!

    (Eyecatch!)

    Italy: JAPAN! I WANT US TO FU-

    Japan: YOU TRIED IT WITH GERMANY AND IT WON'T WORK WITH ME, EITHER! (Draws katana)

    Italy: All I want is some love! (Whines)

    Japan: I think Korea'd do it happily.

    Korea: Oh, yes. Come, with me, you won't find nothin' better you should come, wi-

    Italy: I GET IT! Allstar Weekend! NOW CAN WE FU-

    (Eyecatch!)

    Haha, and then after that, some werid Chinese song comes on. I don't know...
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  19. #44
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    Much better : p

    And you used the "Wank me Maybe" joke from SwapNote XD

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by mariobrosvswariobros View Post
    And you used the "Wank me Maybe" joke from SwapNote XD
    I knew Wank Me Maybe would *come* in handy xD
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  21. #46
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    Germany: Okay Asse! ....And Anus, who wouldn't be here in real life. If you hadn't noticed, Japan isn't here. He has anger management on Tuesdays.

    Italy: Got it, sir!

    Germany: You have to treat people PROPERLY! Simple as that.

    Korea: Okay. Psy, get over here.

    Psy: Mwodeungan-e.

    Korea: He said "whatever". Okay, here's some barbeque.

    Germany: But also be strict.

    Korea: Yes! Strict! (Rips barbeque out of Psy's hand)

    Psy: Mwo? ANDWAE!

    Korea: He isn't too happy.

    Psy: Pffft, I obviously was not.

    Korea: GAAAH! You are....betraying me!

    Psy: Why?

    Korea: You're speaking.....ENGLISH!

    (Intro......)

    Italy: Germany, why'd you beat up the British guy?

    England: Uggggh! I was beaten by that Deutsche douche! AGAIN! But next time, nope! Next time, I'LL win. I have the most powerful weapons ever. Most notably, some One Direction CDs. But the one I should use now...is my magic. I'M GONNA CURSE GERMANY! AND NO ONE CAN STO-

    America: (Opens door) HI ENGLAND! Are you here to have some t-WHAT are you doing in that outfit?!

    England: Uhhh....it's a costume party. Go. Now.

    (Eyecatch!)

    England: Now, this time, I will NOT be interrupted. My family's magic is the greatest! (Kneels) Toxic scones and poison tea. Beings of Hell, listen to me. I summon you from afar. COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!

    A being is rising from the floor!

    Russia: Oh. Hi. You called? I ran out of vodka at my place, and I was thinking-

    England: Shut it. (Pushes down back into floor)

    (Eyecatch!)

    England: What's with THAT?

    Russia: So...no vodka?

    England: Nope. DIE! (Presses "play" on boombox)

    "Baby you light up my world like nobody else!
    The way you to flip your hair gets me overwhelmed!
    But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,
    You don't know, oh oh!
    You don't know you're beautiful!"

    Russia: AAAHHHH! CUT IT OUT!

    Japan is seen eating some rice, peacefully.

    Russia: Jiiiiiiiiii.......jiiiiiiiiiiii.....jiiiiiiiiiiii. ....

    Japan: My belly. It hurts.

    Russia: So, was that good?

    England: I suppose.

    (Eyecatch!)

    France: Hey, Russia!

    Russia: Hm?

    France: Were you okay with the meeting?

    Russia: Just seeing everyone talk cheered me up. It makes me feel as if I fit in.

    France: I see.

    Russia: Also...

    France: Also?

    Russia: I like to see their f*g faces. They don't know I'll screw them up in the end!

    (Le ending, da?)
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  22. #47
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    Germany: OKAY! Italy, it's your turn to do lookout. Japan has anger management AGAIN.

    Italians: I'M TIRRRRED!

    Germany: You derpfaces were just asleep! Now do your duty!

    Italy: Hehehe...doody. (Goes to tent)

    Random Italian Guy: The fat-butt engineers are all sleeping! You know what that means...

    Italy: Post ponies!

    Random Italian Guy: NO, YOU IDIOT! It means, let's cary out the plan!

    Italy: Riiiight....plan.

    (ITALIAN PARTAAAAAY!)

    Italy: Heyyy! Pass the drinks!

    (Intro!)

    Smexeh Girl: You ran away? That's sad.

    Italy: Hell yes, we threw an epic party with pasta and pizza and wine and pasta and wine and pizza and pasta and wine......(PUNCH!)

    (Passout!)

    Italy is on top of a muscular engineer.

    Italy: Pat, pat, pat, p-Ooooh! I touched something soft! Oh, wait, it's German engineer's butt. Eh, who cares?! Pat, pat, pat, pat....

    (Eyecatch!)

    GERMAN SIMULATION! (Deutsche Power!)

    Let's say you're German, and you snag sausage at the supermarket. The checkout line is super long, because the checkout guy is a Spaniard. Yup, you're screwed. And there's a Greek catman putting things on the counter. Now you're REALLY screwed. Then, an Italian cuts in line. THAT'S why you should never go shopping with Eurofags. You're very annoyed, but the Austrian in front of you is pissed. We were gonna insert a Nazi Germany joke, but forget that. Oh kamblargo, the Greek dude and the Spanish derpface are talking! Another Italian gets in line, yelling something in Turkish. A Jap starts to talk. "OBJECTION!", screams the Austrian.

    Then, you pass out, and your sausages spill.

    DEUTSCHE POWER!

    A German simulator from Russia with fun. Kolkolkolkol! Order now, and get a shocking video of Italy getting raped by Germany! CALL NOW!

    (Eyecatch! Kaching!)

    Germany: I finished work early today, so I had to sneak into French territory for a meal. "Hey! You over there!" I shouted to the waiter. "Gimmie some food."

    France: Sure thing. Ohonhonhon!

    Germany: He brought back my food, and it had potatoes, to my luck. I mashed them up, thanking God that France didn't notice it was me. Then, suddenly-

    France: Hey....isn't your name Germany?

    Germany: I don't remember what happened afterward, but I'm sure it was bad...

    (Ending!)
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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