Cheating on your partner.. is it as wrong as people make it out to be

[miles0624]

Seems this topic is running pretty low on steam. Have we decided whether or not cheating is "as wrong as people make it out to be"? There hasn't been much talk of that specifically as of recent.

~Psychic

I haven't posted in like x amount of pages, but nothing new is really being discussed. We all view cheating as bad with little variation. On this note:

I move to adjourn (close) this topic.

[Nephilim]

Yes, it's a pretty immoral thing to do and really the overall perception of it says the same. Moral of the story: We already know the sky is blue, why bother asking what color it is?

[totallyawesome]

What's the point of being in a relationship if you're just going to cheat? If you get cheated on, leave. If you cheat, leave.

[Ludwig]

What's the point of being in a relationship if you're just going to cheat? If you get cheated on, leave. If you cheat, leave.

Because of:

What's generally referred to as love is actually three different things; infatuation, love and lust. Infatuation is makes you like someone very much, you want to spend almost all the time with the other and you become generally unaware and don't see faults. Infatuation can only last up to 18 months (it's like addictions, the brain becomes used to the hormone level). Love is what makes you able to live together, I don't know a lot of information about this, but it's supposedly the same for a family member as for a partner. Lust is sexual arousal and describing that detailed probably isn't necessary.
Those three parts of love are all distinct and doesn't have to be for the same person. So even if you feel love for your spouse, that does not mean that you also feel lust.

[Lion Demon]

Honestly, Just tell them that you want to move on. Then if you get yourself into another relationship: it wouldn't be clarified as cheating!

[Kaasuti]

Cheating is pretty bad. The thing is that there are so many people in the world it's impossible to not have feelings for anybody else ever, even if you're in a relationship with someone you love. The main thing here is control, you don't have to act on your feelings and cheat. But too many people are weak minded or selfish and just end up doing the thing they shouldn't.

[ansem the wise]

Cheating is pretty bad. The thing is that there are so many people in the world it's impossible to not have feelings for anybody else ever, even if you're in a relationship with someone you love. The main thing here is control, you don't have to act on your feelings and cheat. But too many people are weak minded or selfish and just end up doing the thing they shouldn't.

^ this.
dont give me the BS that you couldnt help it, or that your partner couldnt satisfy your needs.
if you are going to seperate then seperate, thats all there is to it.

[The Sandslasher]

In my opinion it depends, for example, my girlfriend told me that if I cheated to get her attention she wouldn't care but if I just plian cheated then she would dump me D: But I have no need to worry because I love her and I'm not gonna hurt her

[AhTreyYou]

Cheating is stupid. I've cheated before when I was younger but now that I'm in a completely amazing relationship where both parties feel the exact same I couldn't imagine hurting my girlfriend. If she were to cheat on me I would leave the relationship, pick up the pieces and move on but I don't need to worry about that because I trust her 100%. Cheaters are insecure and if you're insecure in your relationship end it and work on your own issues. Relationships aren't about being selfish.

[lollygag]

I think cheating is always wrong, and it shouldn't be forgiven.

It's never happened in my family as far as I know, though I do suspect that my great-aunt's ex-husband might have been unfaithful. He never wanted to visit any of his wife's relatives, and their marriage was a total disaster. They didn't even have kids, even though my aunt wanted kids. Plus, around the time I was born, she divorced him. He supposedly took another wife almost immediately after he was rid of my aunt. Something tells me that this woman might have known him even longer, but this is just speculation. Personally, I don't care what he's doing now, since the whole thing was his fault. (Unfortunately, my aunt's dead now. She died at the age of 60 several years ago.)

Sometimes the circumstances can be even worse depending on who the lover is. Lynn Redgrave's husband cheated on her with their son's wife. To make matters worse, the stupid daughter-in-law got pregnant by the old man, thus ruining both Lynn's marriage and her son's. I mean, that is the worst - cheating on your spouse with your kid's spouse. Talk about disgusting.

[epicjirachifan]

I have a large suspicion that my mom is cheating on my dad and it is making me feel so uncomfortable. Cheating is the worst and it is not a mistake it is something you chooses to do. My parents are seperated. If my mom wants to cheat then she should just have a divorce. Cheating is the lowest of the low and causes more upset and depression than the death of a family member.

[Pesky Persian]

I have a large suspicion that my mom is cheating on my dad and it is making me feel so uncomfortable. Cheating is the worst and it is not a mistake it is something you chooses to do. My parents are seperated. If my mom wants to cheat then she should just have a divorce. Cheating is the lowest of the low and causes more upset and depression than the death of a family member.

I don't really think it counts as cheating if your parents are separated, and therefore no longer "together" relationship-wise. They've essentially broken up and gone their separate ways. Divorce is costly and requires a lot of time and money. Just because they're still legally married doesn't mean they're still in an exclusive relationship.

[BJPalmer85]

does cheating involve guilt? what if you have no feeling of guilt, did you still cheat? what if you have no feelings of hurt or betrayal, did you still get cheated on?

B

[Mandi.]

does cheating involve guilt? what if you have no feeling of guilt, did you still cheat? what if you have no feelings of hurt or betrayal, did you still get cheated on?

B

Well yeah technically. That's still the term for it. It doesn't matter if you cheated and YOU didn't feel guilty. What matters is that your partner you cheated on could be the one suffering.
And for the other part, if your partner cheated on you and you weren't the least bit upset over it.. then ..I guess it doesn't really matter now does it?

[Ytterbium70]

It's stupid! hurting someone like that is just cruel. If your going to have an outside relationship, tell your partner and divorce them. There's no point in keeping it a secret. Cheating is just something I find despicable and completly unnacceptable.

[Psychic]

does cheating involve guilt? what if you have no feeling of guilt, did you still cheat? what if you have no feelings of hurt or betrayal, did you still get cheated on?

B

Cheating isn't defined by guilt; it's defined by consent. If you and your partner did not consent to being able to be with other people, but one of you saw someone else anyway, then you are breaking your agreement and, by definition, cheating. Whether or not either partner feels X emotion affects only how badly they may be hurt as a result. If you tell your partner not to cheat, but they do it anyway and you don't really care, it doesn't change the fact that they cheated.

~Psychic

[marioguy]

does cheating involve guilt? what if you have no feeling of guilt, did you still cheat? what if you have no feelings of hurt or betrayal, did you still get cheated on?

If you kill someone, but you don't fell guilty about it; did you really kill them?

I think people who get into relationships need to have a punitive damage clause. Say for example the person who cheated loses an arm. This type of thing would probably only be practical for marriages though.

[yuoke]

If you feel the need to cheat at all, then what is reason is there to not just end the relationship right there? You're obviously not going to be happy with them from that point on, so why keep it going? And yes of course it's wrong.

[BJPalmer85]

If you feel the need to cheat at all, then what is reason is there to not just end the relationship right there? You're obviously not going to be happy with them from that point on, so why keep it going? And yes of course it's wrong.

This is not completely true. You could have the impulse to cheat because of some neglected need in your relationship. In a mature adult relationship the person that has that desire would bring it to the attention of their partner and they would work on it together.

I get urgers/feelings to punch people in the face, that doesnt mean i need to seek therapy or have anger issues (it could, but for me specifically it doesn't). I don't punch people and instead take out my frustration in a mature adult way.

The feeling or need to cheat can almost be equated with the proverbial "calm before the storm". It is a warning and you have two choices. Recognizing them and having the forethought to understand them and bring them to your partners attention is what should be done, or you could act on them...

B

[Ludwig]

If you feel the need to cheat at all, then what is reason is there to not just end the relationship right there? You're obviously not going to be happy with them from that point on, so why keep it going? And yes of course it's wrong.

Because lust and love are different. You might greatly enjoy living together with a specific person, but that does not mean that you will enjoy having intercourse with it (compare with relationship to parents). The reverse is true too.