If it took you a week to get over betrayal, it's less likely to do with you being a stronger person. I'm honestly convinced that chances are, the relationship wasn't that big of a deal in the first place.
You don't just forget things like this in a week.
And really, you need more self-esteem. You can't just latch on to a guy and do whatever he says just so you can have love (and I'd be a bit sceptical to call it love if you did do something like that). Obviously I don't know what your current partner is like, but if he ever were to cheat on you you shouldn't just brush it aside because you're afraid of being alone.
Cheating is cheating. Simple as that.
"Mary had a little lamb,
its wool as black as coal
It came into her room one night,
and feasted on her soul"
I'd rather be forgiving then be some raging ***** who thinks she can get everyone in the world and calls everyone who makes one goddamn mistake a scumbag. Seriously, you make my view sound like it's wrong here and it's right to treat them like a scum and be some power *****. That makes me angry.
I am NOT easy like that girl says, but I really don't care if anyone else wants to follow her and think of me as that way. I'm just not a cruel *****. I believe in second chances and if that makes me easy and insecure, then so be it. At least, I still get to have a partner...
This is the problem.At least, I still get to have a partner...
Deep down inside, the only true reason you're forgiving is because you are desperate. It has nothing to do with you being more nice than us.
That is insecurity by definition. You are very unhealthy individual, and will likely be taken advantage of this your partner very well knows he can cheat and get away with it even if it's just once.
And yes, being a raging ****** makes more sense than being a forgiving individual in the matters of cheating. Your partner betrayed you and shared an intimate relationship with someone other than you. If you don't at least get mad at that while at the same time discourage it, something is wrong with you mentally.
I can get mad. I mean it's not like I would encourage it. But no one's going to force me to just throw away what I have just because they decide to cheat. That's wrong.
I don't remember anyone calling you easy. Am I missing something? This thread has taken kind of a bizarre turn...
Someone did imply that I was an easy forgiving person and said it in a way that made themselves sound like they better than me. That's what caused the rage post.
Can anyone accept the fact that not all people are going to think like most of you can kick their partner like trash?
Telling me to stop being insensitive is like telling a penguin to fly, it just isn't in my genes. Inherently I don't care about anyone else's relationship turmoil. Everyone goes through. I have also had about seven breakups in the past six years. It barely gets to me anymore.Stop being so insensitive. Having a person you love cheat on you is not just something you can get over in a week. Yes, you need to move on, but saying that breaking up with a person you're in love with is nothing is a ridiculous statement to make.
You are either afraid of being alone or you are getting some good sex out of this relationship. I can't see any other reason you would be so lenient.I can get mad. I mean it's not like I would encourage it. But no one's going to force me to just throw away what I have just because they decide to cheat. That's wrong.
Because I *LOVE* themmmmmmmmmmmmmm
You are more desperate.
You have admitted to this more than once. That has nothing to do with kindness, and more to do with insecurity. What you said was fine until you said people should be forgiven because you don't respect yourself enough to remain alone than to be with someone who doesn't care about you.
I never said I could get anyone in the world. And besides, I don't want everyone in the world. I only want my partner. So even then.. if my partner was to cheat on me.. I would never give him a second chance. He betrayed, went behind my back, had intimate relations with some random ho. Yeah sorry, I don't think people who cheat deserve second chances. I don't let anyone walk over me ..especially for the stupid reason that I don't want to be alone. I'd rather be alone than be glued to a man who goes along and betrays me for his own pleasures and doesn't even think of how I'd feel.
The way you talk, you act as if you wouldn't even feel the slightest angry or upset if your man cheated. Unhealthy relationship much? Desperate much?
"at least I still get to have a partner.."
^ no. NO. You are desperate aren't you? For love? For affection? Sorry to break it to you dear, but if your relationship is as if you explain it.. there's no real love in it. Just obsession and a desperate little girl.
Pesky Persian, GhostAnime, Mandi, etcetera, aren't reveling in power over having a partner, nor do they want to 'treat them like scum'. Neither are they raging. They're only saying that we all deserve the kind of partner who won't be too lazy to tell you they're having problems with the relationship and go sleep with another person. That's not that much to ask! It only requires them to be honest, communicate with their partner, and not a complete jerk.
In reality, that one is the kinder approach to seeking a relationship, because they're being absolutely upfront about what they want in a partner. While it seems nice to forgive someone for their transgressions because you're giving them what they want, it actually hurts them, because they get the idea it's okay to do what they did. You're teaching them that they can be a cheater and you'll welcome them back with open arms. If they ever actually break up with you, this person is going to go to another girl and break their heart because of what they learned from you.
And you can try to claim that you're more fortunate for having a partner, but give it ten years and you'll realize that a bad partner is NOT better than no partner at all.
I believe in second chances too, but really the only reason for giving someone a second chance is because you love them. There's no rational reason to do it, and the ones you've tried to provide really have painted you as wanting just anyone at all, which would be annoying to those of us who find exceptional individuals and love them for who they are.
I was raised with the idea that cheating is wrong which I still have a strong belief in to this day. I would never under any circumstance cheat on my girlfriend/wife. Sleeping with someone while with another just sickens me. People if your in a relationship brake up with them before you destroy their self-estieam
And you can also be whatever you want as long as you dream.You act like asking a partner to have a 100% chance of being faithful (or just politely break up) is some pie-in-the-sky goal. It isn't. Millions of couples do it all the time.
Face it, millions of people lie about not cheating. It is far more common in relationships these days for their to be some form of cheating at some point in a long term relationship, than not. People just lie and say they didn't. That is why I never absolutely trust any woman. I give the appearance I do so they will get sloppy then I can prove it whenever they proceed with such actions.
Yup we all deserve a great partner. Even the liars, cheaters, murders and rapists. Especially the rapists.They're only saying that we all deserve the kind of partner who won't be too lazy to tell you they're having problems with the relationship and go sleep with another person.
Psychologically that has been proven wrong. It is human nature to desire the company of evil intent, rather than absolute solitude.And you can try to claim that you're more fortunate for having a partner, but give it ten years and you'll realize that a bad partner is NOT better than no partner at all.
Yup finding that whipped menstrual boy at the age of 22 who is living off welfare but is loyal because he can't have anyone else is definitely an exceptional individual.which would be annoying to those of us who find exceptional individuals and love them for who they are.
Its not bad. As long as you don't compromise your relationship by kissing or going further.
Obviously 'who you can get' does have something to do with it, but you're letting your emotions do all the talking if you're going to elevate the circumstances where people settle to a higher importance than the people who honestly fall in love with someone for their qualities. Bitterness is an emotion too, it's just one that's so pervasive that you believe you're beyond emotions because you're so deep in it.
Last edited by CSolarstorm; 2nd September 2012 at 9:30 PM.
Well not if I am good at lying. My relationship will be fine in that case, well that in assuming I don't catch them cheating. Which brings me to my next point:That's more about you than the conversation, though. You're essentially saying that you don't go into a relationship without a metaphorical gun behind your back, which means you're in danger of making every relationship you have a self-fufilling prophecy.
The last three were all hyperbole for the sake of argument. However everyone lies, and the ones who claim they don't are the biggest liars. People really aren't trustworthy, trust needs to be earned. Without that it just becomes faith, which I am sure you can agree how flawed that is. Also the point I was making is there are a lot of people who just don't deserve great relationships based on their actions.I didn't know we were in the presence of liars, cheaters, murderers and rapists.
True, but the reality is if a person is stuck in a hypothetical situation where they would have to choose between being with a terrible person, or a person where they were absolutely alone, 3/4 times they would pick being with that person.Sure, but even psychologically speaking, none of us actually consider an abusive relationship something to aspire to, nor do we want to support someone getting into it. Not everyone is going to depend on a marriage for companionship; others are going to be more content with their family or workplace than settling for an abusive spouse.
I haven't a phobia or anything. I just believe people try to find the good in failures more in relationships than in any other kind of connection.Yup finding that whipped menstrual boy at the age of 22 who is living off welfare but is loyal because he can't have anyone else is definitely an exceptional individual.
I am being realistic. Just because a person can deny something doesn't mean it isn't there, it also doesn't mean it is there. However in the case of human neurological flaw and tendencies, it is more likely in a random chance that it will be there and the person will cheat, and deny it. Morals and self inhibitions to prevent one from cheating only exist as a result of social etiquette. If cheating was respected far more people would openly do it. Which returns me to the second point: people lie.Prove it. Right now it just sounds like you're spouting off stuff for the sake of being pessimistic.
Last edited by iFi Salamander; 2nd September 2012 at 9:33 PM.