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Thread: Cheating on your partner.. is it as wrong as people make it out to be

  1. #301
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    Quote Originally Posted by DMerle View Post
    @Blackterminator3

    While these may be a few common reasons you can't list every reason why people cheat, each person is different and all may have different reasons, or different views on cheating.
    I'll disagree with your position. there are only a few "excuses" for cheating, none of which are acceptable. The rest of the "excuses" are just variations of original, and thus still not acceptable.

    So true!

  2. #302
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    I'll disagree with your position. there are only a few "excuses" for cheating, none of which are acceptable. The rest of the "excuses" are just variations of original, and thus still not acceptable.
    I think there is only one somewhat acceptable reason for cheating. In the case that the person wants out of the relationship but is contractually bound to their partner due to financial reasons so they can't leave might be a good reason for them to catch a break. Still doesn't completely justify it but I think I could forgive them a human being for this. I already caught one of my best friends cheating on both his girlfriends a couple months ago and I was upset about it but I realized it wasn't my place to punish him for it.

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    Really you think that Lack of Money is a good reason? I cannot say I agree with this.

    So true!

  4. #304
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    Really you think that Lack of Money is a good reason? I cannot say I agree with this.
    I am saying if I forced to be with a spouse or eating concrete from the road, I can see why I might find it okay to cheat to keep myself from going insane.

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  5. #305
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    No that still is not a reason. You may have a horrid relationship but that is not an excuse to be adulterous. There are far to many aid packages for that excuse to hold water.

    So true!

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    Quote Originally Posted by iFi Salamander View Post
    I am saying if I forced to be with a spouse or eating concrete from the road, I can see why I might find it okay to cheat to keep myself from going insane.
    If you did something "insane" because you're in a bad marriage, you're still going to be the one at fault for not keeping your head about you if you step over a boundary. Divorce before adultery is still better than divorce after; at least it's one less bad thing to come of it, and you can potentially part on better terms.

    Incidentally, I wouldn't be surprised if this excuse gets used all the time in court by people who murder their spouses.


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  7. #307
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaiserin View Post
    If you did something "insane" because you're in a bad marriage, you're still going to be the one at fault for not keeping your head about you if you step over a boundary. Divorce before adultery is still better than divorce after; at least it's one less bad thing to come of it, and you can potentially part on better terms.

    Incidentally, I wouldn't be surprised if this excuse gets used all the time in court by people who murder their spouses.
    Murder is far more extreme than adultery. Honestly if if I wanted a passionate affair, I'm not going to wait for the divorce papers to kick in to fly away. At that point appearing morally correct is the least of my worries.

    There are far to many aid packages for that excuse to hold water.
    Like? Welfare? Usually those kinds of partner just find another partner or buddy to mooch off of for the time being. This is probably the partner they commit the adultery with.
    Last edited by iFi Salamander; 5th September 2012 at 4:42 AM.

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  8. #308
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    Just read a chapter of Osamu Tezuka's Black Jack the other day pertaining to the topic at hand...

    Black Jack's father summoned him to aid in fixing his wife's disfigured face. At this part, we already know that Black Jack's father cheated on his mother, divorced, and ran off when he was a small child and his mother died when he was still very young. As requested (in return for the typical illegally high sum of money), Black Jack fixed his father's wife's disfigured face. After time passed, the bandages were removed and she had the face of Black Jack's deceased mother. Using same word over and over again doesn't feel right but their names were never given.

    Thought it was a nice story and on the topic at hand, I thought I'd share it. Now as for my opinion on cheating, I don't agree with it, I don't agree with divorce either. Don't jump into a deep relationship on whim, think over what that person means to you, think of what this bond will lead to. If you have the urge to cheat on your spouse, think things over like what the end of your marriage would lead to and if you truly love them. If you don't love your spouse, by all means, tell them but try to be gentle when doing so and after your divorce, by all means, try to find someone new.

    Still, I pray I hit the mark right with my first girlfriend. What? My father did so with my mother and if so, why can't I?
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  9. #309
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    Quote Originally Posted by iFi Salamander View Post
    Like? Welfare? Usually those kinds of partner just find another partner or buddy to mooch off of for the time being. This is probably the partner they commit the adultery with.
    Well a friend of mine has recently gotten divorced. And with multiple aid packages for single moms, she has plenty of money for school, food, a home, in fact IIRC with all teh different things she qualifies for, she will bring home almost as much as I do!

    So true!

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    Quote Originally Posted by iFi Salamander View Post
    Murder is far more extreme than adultery. Honestly if if I wanted a passionate affair, I'm not going to wait for the divorce papers to kick in to fly away. At that point appearing morally correct is the least of my worries.
    Perhaps, but you reap what you sow. If you start getting treated like **** by your (probably ex-)spouse, their friends, or your friends, then you kind of had that one coming. In the end, if you really want to cheat, no one can stop you, but it's also on you to decide if the consequences are really worth living in the moment like that.

    And yes, there are consequences. Like I said above, ruining your social standing with many possible people is one outcome.


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    It depends on the circumstance. Most of the time I would say that it is probably wrong, but there's always that little bit of grey. I'm not about to call a woman who slept with a man outside of her own marriage, when her husband was brutally beating her for not making dinner on time, a "home wrecking whore."

    That's just me though.

    If you did something "insane" because you're in a bad marriage, you're still going to be the one at fault for not keeping your head about you if you step over a boundary. Divorce before adultery is still better than divorce after; at least it's one less bad thing to come of it, and you can potentially part on better terms.

    Incidentally, I wouldn't be surprised if this excuse gets used all the time in court by people who murder their spouses.
    Um, what? So if my husband is smacking me around like a ping pong ball, and I finally reach mental breakdown and look for affection via other outlets, (cheating) it's my fault?

    Thanks for the tip.
    Last edited by Dryzera; 13th September 2012 at 10:56 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dryzera View Post
    It depends on the circumstance. Most of the time I would say that it is probably wrong, but there's always that little bit of grey. I'm not about to call a woman who slept with a man outside of her own marriage, when her husband was brutally beating her for not making dinner on time, a "home wrecking whore."

    That's just me though.



    Um, what? So if my husband is smacking me around like a ping pong ball, and I finally reach mental breakdown and look for affection via other outlets, (cheating) it's my fault?

    Thanks for the tip.
    So then, who's fault is it when you get beat again? The mans? Causation is not justification.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kutie Pie View Post
    About 97% of these women posing for pornographic pictures are held at gunpoint, and it can be anywhere. The majority of the time is by force.
    Lulz wat?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dryzera View Post
    It depends on the circumstance. Most of the time I would say that it is probably wrong, but there's always that little bit of grey. I'm not about to call a woman who slept with a man outside of her own marriage, when her husband was brutally beating her for not making dinner on time, a "home wrecking whore."

    That's just me though.



    Um, what? So if my husband is smacking me around like a ping pong ball, and I finally reach mental breakdown and look for affection via other outlets, (cheating) it's my fault?

    Thanks for the tip.
    Yes. I am sorry to say but it is your fault. You choose to stay married to an abusive bastage. You choose following your heart(not a bad thing for the most part), You choose to break your vow to the abusive scumbag.. Who when he finds out will have yet another excuse to beat you to death. There is no good reason to cheat.

    You break up or divorce BEFORE moving on. More important, if you have the moral high ground, you are entitled to more in a divorce! I'm a husband, I know full well how that works!

    So true!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dryzera View Post
    Um, what? So if my husband is smacking me around like a ping pong ball, and I finally reach mental breakdown and look for affection via other outlets, (cheating) it's my fault?

    Thanks for the tip.
    Yes it is your fault and in other ways as well.
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    Maybe you should clarify Goth... it sounds like you might be saying it is her fault that a man would beat her. As a man, I will say that there is no reason to ever beat a woman.

    So true!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    Maybe you should clarify Goth... it sounds like you might be saying it is her fault that a man would beat her. As a man, I will say that there is no reason to ever beat a woman.
    ... or the other way around :]

    Anyway, no I wasn't saying that. I said it'd be her fault because in abusive relationships, the abuser doesn't trust their partner hence that's why they are controlling. So if she cheated, then it'd also be her fault as to why he's controlling. But the abuse part isn't. Does this make sense now?
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    That isn't true. An abusive partner can be an emotionally explosive person. It is not the fault of the abused. It is all on the abuser, period. Just as cheating is the fault of the cheater, abuse is the fault of the abuser!

    Wanting control over a spouse is not reason to be abusive. I understand where you are coming from, but I find your logic terribly flawed. Cause if the control "freak" doesn't feel in control, they can exert control by ending the relationship. Resorting to violence is a lack of control not the other way around.

    So true!

  18. #318
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    If they have to resort to physical violence to control their spouse, then they must not be very intelligent. Anyone I date I am around enough to have completely analyzed their psyche.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dryzera View Post
    It depends on the circumstance. Most of the time I would say that it is probably wrong, but there's always that little bit of grey. I'm not about to call a woman who slept with a man outside of her own marriage, when her husband was brutally beating her for not making dinner on time, a "home wrecking whore."

    That's just me though.



    Um, what? So if my husband is smacking me around like a ping pong ball, and I finally reach mental breakdown and look for affection via other outlets, (cheating) it's my fault?

    Thanks for the tip.
    I wouldn't advise cheating on a man who's already shown the potential that he wouldn't hesitate to harm you.

    <_<

    You gotta think this through.
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    Quick, someone get the scientific community onto this one! A truly brilliant hypothesis that would have been insofar overlooked by every researcher who has contributed to this field of science. And it's only 8th grade stuff!
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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostAnime View Post
    I wouldn't advise cheating on a man who's already shown the potential that he wouldn't hesitate to harm you.

    <_<

    You gotta think this through.
    Sounds like you need to leave and seek therapy.

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  21. #321
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    Who? Me???
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuboy View Post
    Quick, someone get the scientific community onto this one! A truly brilliant hypothesis that would have been insofar overlooked by every researcher who has contributed to this field of science. And it's only 8th grade stuff!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Zero
    I roam Johto with my partner Pokemon, Rattata, who knows Hyper Fang, Sunny Day, Rock Smash and Cut. Anyone who runs with more than one Pokemon or evolves their Pokemon takes the game way too seriously.

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    Quote Originally Posted by iFi Salamander View Post
    If they have to resort to physical violence to control their spouse, then they must not be very intelligent. Anyone I date I am around enough to have completely analyzed their psyche.
    I am married to the same woman for 24+ years. You can never completely analyze someone iFi.

    I wouldn't advise cheating on a man who's already shown the potential that he wouldn't hesitate to harm you.
    QFT.

    So true!

  23. #323

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    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    That isn't true. An abusive partner can be an emotionally explosive person. It is not the fault of the abused. It is all on the abuser, period. Just as cheating is the fault of the cheater, abuse is the fault of the abuser!

    Wanting control over a spouse is not reason to be abusive. I understand where you are coming from, but I find your logic terribly flawed. Cause if the control "freak" doesn't feel in control, they can exert control by ending the relationship. Resorting to violence is a lack of control not the other way around.
    I see.

    I was saying that if that partner doesn't trust you as it is and is controlling why in the hell would you want to break that trust any further by cheating? What's wrong with actually sitting down and working things out?
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  24. #324
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    Perhaps you should ask yourself that?

    That certainly wasn't the conclusion you came to about your situation.
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuboy View Post
    Quick, someone get the scientific community onto this one! A truly brilliant hypothesis that would have been insofar overlooked by every researcher who has contributed to this field of science. And it's only 8th grade stuff!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Zero
    I roam Johto with my partner Pokemon, Rattata, who knows Hyper Fang, Sunny Day, Rock Smash and Cut. Anyone who runs with more than one Pokemon or evolves their Pokemon takes the game way too seriously.

  25. #325
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    I am married to the same woman for 24+ years. You can never completely analyze someone iFi
    No, but enough to know how to play them.

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