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Thread: Cheating on your partner.. is it as wrong as people make it out to be

  1. #476
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    Well what would you mean by you 'don't know'?

    If you're not in a definitive relationship then I wouldn't say it is.

  2. #477
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcamenel View Post
    I said it already but I'll say it again, it all comes down to communication. I don't care if your partner is ignoring you, not giving you sex, satisfying your emotional needs. There is never an excuse for cheating and if you do cheat, you are deserve ALL the blame. What drove you to cheat is irrelevant in my opinion, the fact of the matter is you promised yourself to someone and you broke that promise. If you were unhappy with the way they were treating you, then you should've voiced your concerns and acted accordingly. Fix it if it's fixable and end it if it's not. I don't get how there can be any grey area there.

    If there are children involved I can somewhat see an issue but in my own personal experience I've seen more kids messed up from living in a household where they could tell their parents didn't like each other than those whose parents were split up.
    i agree.
    now maybe the other one did something that the other justified their cheating with, but that doesnt change who was at fault.
    if u cheat u are at fault, not the other way around.
    if u want out of a relationship then just end it with divorce, but i would try to stick it out as long a humanly possible before it came to that.
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  3. #478
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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostAnime View Post
    2) One has to also question the morals of the single guy who permits the act as well. Is he not wrong?
    You mean the person that is being cheated with? How can they knowingly have some sort of an affair with someone that is in a relationship?

    To me it is like the saying goes, all is fair in love and war. If you have no connection what so ever to the woman's partner (ie. you arent friends, business associates...basically you need to have never met) than to me you are not at fault and should feel no guilt

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  4. #479
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    Quote Originally Posted by BJPalmer85 View Post
    You mean the person that is being cheated with? How can they knowingly have some sort of an affair with someone that is in a relationship?

    To me it is like the saying goes, all is fair in love and war. If you have no connection what so ever to the woman's partner (ie. you arent friends, business associates...basically you need to have never met) than to me you are not at fault and should feel no guilt

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    I think it depends on the situation. If the cheater tells the person they're cheating with that s/he is in a relationship, I think the person being cheated with is not necessarily "at fault," but should at least feel guilt. I mean, it's really not that hard to be a decent human being when it comes to this kind of thing. If the cheater tells the person s/he is single, obviously there's no way for the person being cheated with to know.

  5. #480
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    You mean you wouldn't at least feel guilty in partaking in an activity that could possibly damage a person for years to come? Just because you don't know them?

    Would you pick up someone's 20 dollar bill just because you didn't know them?
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuboy View Post
    Quick, someone get the scientific community onto this one! A truly brilliant hypothesis that would have been insofar overlooked by every researcher who has contributed to this field of science. And it's only 8th grade stuff!
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  6. #481
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    So I was wondering, a friend of mine has been single for awhile and recently met up with a man. They've hit it off quite nicely and became great friends. That is, until she knew from him that he was taken. So the friend decided to back off until her feelings for him became strong...now the guy also had the same feelings, and it got to the point where they kissed. However, it appears the guy is very confused as he's not sure whether to stay in the relationship that he already has, or if he should break up and then pursue the friend.

    Despite all of that, the friend is still trying "save" his relationship. So is it considered cheating anyways?

  7. #482
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    Hm... some people wouldn't be as bothered by a simple kiss I suppose.

    It's really up to the person who wasn't involved I guess?

    Some people take offense to affection.

    Others (like me) take offense to sexual intercourse.
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuboy View Post
    Quick, someone get the scientific community onto this one! A truly brilliant hypothesis that would have been insofar overlooked by every researcher who has contributed to this field of science. And it's only 8th grade stuff!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Zero
    I roam Johto with my partner Pokemon, Rattata, who knows Hyper Fang, Sunny Day, Rock Smash and Cut. Anyone who runs with more than one Pokemon or evolves their Pokemon takes the game way too seriously.

  8. #483
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    Quote Originally Posted by BurningWhiteKyurem View Post
    So I was wondering, a friend of mine has been single for awhile and recently met up with a man. They've hit it off quite nicely and became great friends. That is, until she knew from him that he was taken. So the friend decided to back off until her feelings for him became strong...now the guy also had the same feelings, and it got to the point where they kissed. However, it appears the guy is very confused as he's not sure whether to stay in the relationship that he already has, or if he should break up and then pursue the friend.

    Despite all of that, the friend is still trying "save" his relationship. So is it considered cheating anyways?
    So he's in a relationship with both your friend and also is a relationship with someone else? Well, of course that's cheating. At least, to me it is. Some people might say it's only cheating if he has sex with both your friend and his girlfriend he's already in a relationship with, I'd say just being in a relationship and kissing with others than your partner is cheating. I have quite strict views about this: when someone is in a relationship and then dates, kisses, has any form of sexual intercourse, is in a relationship and/or flirts with someone else than his/her partner, I'd say it's cheating.

  9. #484
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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostAnime View Post
    Some people take offense to affection.
    It's the act of affection that would bother me. I suppose you can't really help the way you feel about somebody, but as a human you can definitely help the way you behave. There's a clear line between psychological behaviour and physical behaviour, and those who cross the line in the physical department know full well what they are doing.
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  10. #485

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    I don't find kissing, hugging and hanging out offensive because friends so it alot where I live, plus people should know that their partners have a life outside of them. Its the actual sex that bothers me.
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  11. #486
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    If you are sharing an intimate emotional bond with someone else that should be saved for your partner, then yes I consider that cheating. They kissed after feelings already developed, if it were me I'd consider it cheating because he allowed himself to get emotionally invested in someone else in more than a platonic way.

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  12. #487
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    Cheating on your partner is horribly wrong.
    I'd say the only exception would be if your partner was actually baked/drunk as hell and someone other than you took advantage of that. But other than that, if they're aware of what they're doing, then yeah. Cheating on your partner is wrong~

  13. #488
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    Cheating is a terrible thing to me. When you cheat, your partner feels that they weren't good enough for you, and that they should change. This leads to perfectionism, which will never happen. Honestly, instead of cheating, try to break off the relationship first before going onto another guy or girl. But never do both.
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  14. #489
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    I don't find kissing, hugging and hanging out offensive because friends so it alot where I live, plus people should know that their partners have a life outside of them. Its the actual sex that bothers me.
    Agreed, while I may not like them kissing I would tolerate it.
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  15. #490
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    I don't find kissing, hugging and hanging out offensive because friends so it alot where I live, plus people should know that their partners have a life outside of them. Its the actual sex that bothers me.
    It's not the fact that you said it didn't bother you..

    It's just your excuses aren't really good ones.

    "Friends do that a lot anyway"

    "They have a life outside of you"

    These are not reasons to share non-sexual romantic affections with OTHERS. >_>
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuboy View Post
    Quick, someone get the scientific community onto this one! A truly brilliant hypothesis that would have been insofar overlooked by every researcher who has contributed to this field of science. And it's only 8th grade stuff!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Zero
    I roam Johto with my partner Pokemon, Rattata, who knows Hyper Fang, Sunny Day, Rock Smash and Cut. Anyone who runs with more than one Pokemon or evolves their Pokemon takes the game way too seriously.

  16. #491

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    See, they get upset when I let my partner have friends ;]
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  17. #492
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    See, they get upset when I let my partner have friends ;]
    Your boyfriend is one lucky guy. He gets to kiss any girl he wants because you don't care. What a great guy. (:

    Yes, like I said before I do kiss my GIRL friends on the cheek to greet, because it's kind of a girl thing.
    But if my man or I were to kiss another person on the lips, then I'd consider that cheating, if it was him who did it, or I. A kiss on the lips is a romantic gesture most of the time. Besides if you go around kissing everyone on the lips, that's pretty gross.

  18. #493
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    I don't find kissing, hugging and hanging out offensive because friends so it alot where I live, plus people should know that their partners have a life outside of them. Its the actual sex that bothers me.
    Well, there's a difference between hanging out and dating. Hanging out is something friends do. Dating is romantic, it's something couples do. I don't know if you have a partner, but imagine that your partner has a romantic dinner with someone else than you. Would you be fine with that?

    Quote Originally Posted by Acetylix View Post
    Cheating on your partner is horribly wrong.
    I'd say the only exception would be if your partner was actually baked/drunk as hell and someone other than you took advantage of that. But other than that, if they're aware of what they're doing, then yeah. Cheating on your partner is wrong~
    Why do people use being drunk as an excuse to cheat? Even if someone is drunk, cheating is still cheating...

  19. #494

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    Quote Originally Posted by AquaMilotic View Post
    Well, there's a difference between hanging out and dating. Hanging out is something friends do. Dating is romantic, it's something couples do. I don't know if you have a partner, but imagine that your partner has a romantic dinner with someone else than you. Would you be fine with that?
    .
    Yes, I have one. So I'm safe in that regard. :]

    Well, I wouldn't want them to DATE someone, that's different. But hanging out with female friends is okay because they are friends.... I just dislike when people have to force include themselves in when their partner wants to hang out with friends. (just like shaming someone for not being controlling is wrong as well)
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  20. #495
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    Yes, I have one. So I'm safe in that regard. :]

    Well, I wouldn't want them to DATE someone, that's different. But hanging out with female friends is okay because they are friends.... I just dislike when people have to force include themselves in when their partner wants to hang out with friends. (just like shaming someone for not being controlling is wrong as well)
    I don't agree with a person controlling their partner's social life and friends so I get where you're going at. A guy or girl should be able to hang out with their friends without their partner breathing down their neck. But again we're just talking about hanging out.
    But I just fear for your sake when you think it's ok if your boyfriend pretty much locks lips with another woman. Oh that's not sexual, it's ok. When a man kisses a woman, I mean come on, he's a guy, he's obviously thinking sexual thoughts about this woman, so to say it doesn't lead to sex in the long run is pretty bad thinking. I'm not trolling you, please don't think I'm some bitch or something.. I just hate when a girl becomes a doormat for her man.

  21. #496
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    Yes, I have one. So I'm safe in that regard. :]

    Well, I wouldn't want them to DATE someone, that's different. But hanging out with female friends is okay because they are friends.... I just dislike when people have to force include themselves in when their partner wants to hang out with friends. (just like shaming someone for not being controlling is wrong as well)
    Well, if your boyfriend hangs out with female friends without any romance involved, I'd say it's fine. But if there are romantic feelings involved, it's a different story.

    Would you be fine with it if your boyfriend would kiss a female friend? If I'd have a girlfriend and she'd kiss a male friend, I'd be afraid there would be some serious romance going on...
    Last edited by AquaMilotic; 18th November 2012 at 5:39 PM.

  22. #497

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    Quote Originally Posted by AquaMilotic View Post
    Well, if your boyfriend hangs out with female friends without any romance involved, I'd sat it's fine. But if there are romantic feelings involved, it's a different story.
    Which I agree. I was saying that people often get paranoid when it comes to their partners having friends of the opposite sex.

    Would you be fine with it if your boyfriend would kiss a female friend? If I'd have a girlfriend and she'd kiss a male friend, I'd be afraid there would be some serious romance going on...
    If they did it for fun or as a joke, yeah. but making out, I'd have a problem with.
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  23. #498
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    Which I agree. I was saying that people often get paranoid when it comes to their partners having friends of the opposite sex.
    That's true. But I can also understand paranoid partners, they're afraid to lose their boyfriend/girlfriend.

    If they did it for fun or as a joke, yeah. but making out, I'd have a problem with.
    Well, would you really be fine with it if they'd do it "for fun or as a joke" if it would be lips to lips? Kissing is kissing, and that's a romantic thing for couples...

  24. #499
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    I don't get these "paranoid"people. If their partner is low enough to go cheat on them, then they were never worth worrying over. In the same, if you don't trust your partner around someone of the same sex, then there's also a trust issue with you.

  25. #500

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    Quote Originally Posted by AquaMilotic View Post
    That's true. But I can also understand paranoid partners, they're afraid to lose their boyfriend/girlfriend.
    If they are that paranoid, then they shouldn't be in a relationship because they are about trust. If you don't trust your partner to have friends like you do, then what's the point?
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