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Thread: Cheating on your partner.. is it as wrong as people make it out to be

  1. #501
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    There shouldn't be kissing or making out at all especially if you'd have a problem with it if it were serious. How could that possibly be seen as a joke?
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  2. #502
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    Whoo late replies.

    Quote Originally Posted by BearTown View Post
    all right: first of all: I respect that you've taken literature for five years and will take your word on that. (not sarcastic, honest, your right on the literature, I am wrong.)
    second: can you define love for me? just so I can understand the basis on which your argument lies and compare my definition to yours.
    Thanks, I appreciate that.

    Depends on the kind of love. There's love for your friends and family. There's the love you feel for the partners/significant others you have throughout your life. Some claim that there's something called "true love," but I don't currently believe that's something every human being experiences, whether at all or only once. I'm not in the business of dictating what one can and cannot feel, and I still do believe that whatever love you're referring to, one can feel it for multiple people equally in one's lifetime (such as someone who lost their spouse and found love again), and one can therefore feel it for multiple people simultaneously.


    Quote Originally Posted by ansem the wise View Post
    true but in his eyes, she was with gale first so she should have stayed with him.
    Even if she *had* been with Gale first, she only pretends to have feelings for Peeta so she won't die in the Games. Of course in the movie it does come across that she accidentally winds up caring for him anyway, and while it's understandable for Gale to be upset, he and Katniss were only friends. He never told her he felt differently or that he wanted to date her.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    Yes, like I said before I do kiss my GIRL friends on the cheek to greet, because it's kind of a girl thing.
    But if my man or I were to kiss another person on the lips, then I'd consider that cheating, if it was him who did it, or I. A kiss on the lips is a romantic gesture most of the time. Besides if you go around kissing everyone on the lips, that's pretty gross.
    This raises an interesting question: what about same-sex relationships? You say it's fine to kiss same-sex friends, because there is no perceived threat because you're heterosexual, but what if you were homosexual or bisexual? Does being bi mean you can't kiss any of your friends?


    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    Yes, I have one. So I'm safe in that regard. :]
    Just to let you know, having a partner doesn't make you "safe," whether from criticism or anything else. It doesn't really make your argument stronger in this case.



    As for the scenario presented before, if someone is in a relationship and likes someone else, they must make a decision about what they are going to do. They cannot string both women along for weeks on end while they slowly decide which one they want more. It's unfair to both women, and whether he's serious or not, it can be seen as taking advantage of the situation by not putting off either girl.

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  3. #503

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    No, I meant it as I can be in this conversation. lol
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  4. #504
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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostAnime View Post
    There shouldn't be kissing or making out at all especially if you'd have a problem with it if it were serious. How could that possibly be seen as a joke?
    Dares, bets etc. I guess. I doubt it's very common but it can happen.

    re. kissing, I think people should just use their common sense. Kissing as a greeting or as a joke (if that even happens that often) obviously doesn't count as cheating, but full on making out would definitely fit the bill. Greeting kisses barely last a second anyway, so it's hardly cheating. You can pretty much tell how much someone enjoyed a kiss anyway by their reaction afterwards (obviously not a fail safe, but most of the time).

    It just depends on their reaction and the duration of it.

  5. #505
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychic View Post

    Even if she *had* been with Gale first, she only pretends to have feelings for Peeta so she won't die in the Games. Of course in the movie it does come across that she accidentally winds up caring for him anyway, and while it's understandable for Gale to be upset, he and Katniss were only friends. He never told her he felt differently or that he wanted to date her.
    ~Psychic
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    This raises an interesting question: what about same-sex relationships? You say it's fine to kiss same-sex friends, because there is no perceived threat because you're heterosexual, but what if you were homosexual or bisexual? Does being bi mean you can't kiss any of your friends?
    hmm interesting, i would say that if you were gay, opposite gender kissing might not make the other one mad but about BI idk.
    but i guess that really depends on the person and what they are comfortable with.
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  6. #506

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    Topic; what do you think of revenge cheating?
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  7. #507
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    Revenge cheating? Who the hell even does that outside of people who aren't mature enough to handle a relationship in the first place?
    wh

  8. #508
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deku_Link View Post
    Revenge cheating? Who the hell even does that outside of people who aren't mature enough to handle a relationship in the first place?
    Pretty much this.

  9. #509

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deku_Link View Post
    Revenge cheating? Who the hell even does that outside of people who aren't mature enough to handle a relationship in the first place?
    most girls would do it (some guys would as well). i've seen it and it pretty much gets cheered on. funny thing is that they expect to be forgiven just like they forgave their partner.
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  10. #510
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    I have met literally one person who acted like that... And she is petty and childish.

  11. #511
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    most girls would do it
    I'm calling bs on this
    wh

  12. #512
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    Topic; what do you think of revenge cheating?
    Well, wrong plus wrong isn't right. Cheating is horrible, revenge cheating too. Instead of revenge cheating, breaking up is better: if one person in a couple cheats, the trust bond between the couple is broken anyways.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    most girls would do it
    I don't think the majority of girls on Earth do this. This is really unfair to say, I'm sure most girls would not do this!

  13. #513
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    most girls would do it (some guys would as well). i've seen it and it pretty much gets cheered on. funny thing is that they expect to be forgiven just like they forgave their partner.
    Oh please, will you please stop being such a girl hater. Most girls would do it (that means you think the majority of females in the world would do this.) and OH only SOME guys would do it? Why are girls more likely to do this? This is not true at all.
    Men and woman BOTH have their flaws, and they BOTH do the same exact shit in relationships.

    Revenge cheating is pointless. And well hopefully you would have broke up with your boy/girlfriend if he/she cheated on in the first place. I would hope that you wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on you, just to simply get some revenge.

  14. #514
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    Oh please, will you please stop being such a girl hater. Most girls would do it (that means you think the majority of females in the world would do this.) and OH only SOME guys would do it? Why are girls more likely to do this? This is not true at all.
    Men and woman BOTH have their flaws, and they BOTH do the same exact shit in relationships.

    Revenge cheating is pointless. And well hopefully you would have broke up with your boy/girlfriend if he/she cheated on in the first place. I would hope that you wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on you, just to simply get some revenge.
    I totally agree with this. Both genders probably do this equally, it's not like one gender is more or less likely to revenge cheat than the other gender.

    Also, not the majority of females and also not the majority of males in the world would do this. Most people probably won't revenge cheat, I suppose most people would just break up if they'd be cheated on. Breaking up is better than revenge cheating, wrong plus wrong isn't right.

  15. #515
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    Quote Originally Posted by AquaMilotic View Post
    I totally agree with this. Both genders probably do this equally, it's not like one gender is more or less likely to revenge cheat than the other gender.

    Also, not the majority of females and also not the majority of males in the world would do this. Most people probably won't revenge cheat, I suppose most people would just break up if they'd be cheated on. Breaking up is better than revenge cheating, wrong plus wrong isn't right.
    i agree. 1 wrong + 1 wrong = 2 wrongs, plain and simple.
    i would think that most people wouldnt do it unless it was something REALLY bad, but hey i dont know everyones true colors.
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  16. #516

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    It comes with experience and what you've heard. Everytime me and friends and even strangers would talk about cheating out of revenge, I never really seem to hear about guys cheat of of revenge. When they discuss cheating and relationships on TV, they always seem to have the girls revenge cheat and I've once never seen anything about guys doing it. And don't get mt started on the ones who publicly humiliate the person that cheated on them but keying their cars and doing billboards. So yeah, I'm not a hater but I call them as I see them. I'm not going to beat around the bush when it comes to renege cheating, it's the most immature thing you could ever do. It makes you just as bad as the cheater and you are a complete and utter ******* if you think your partner should be forced to forgive you just because you have.
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  17. #517
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    It comes with experience and what you've heard. Everytime me and friends and even strangers would talk about cheating out of revenge, I never really seem to hear about guys cheat of of revenge. When they discuss cheating and relationships on TV, they always seem to have the girls revenge cheat and I've once never seen anything about guys doing it. And don't get mt started on the ones who publicly humiliate the person that cheated on them but keying their cars and doing billboards. So yeah, I'm not a hater but I call them as I see them. I'm not going to beat around the bush when it comes to renege cheating, it's the most immature thing you could ever do. It makes you just as bad as the cheater and you are a complete and utter ******* if you think your partner should be forced to forgive you just because you have.
    So because people like the think girls are heartless *****es in reality tv shows, so must you? lol, do you believe everything you see on tv?

    And honestly if someone cheats on someone, I think they deserve to be humiliated. I mean it may not be the most mature thing to do, but if the person who was cheated on REALLY loved their partner and that happened to them, emotional pain does screw up people quite a bit.
    You really have to stop thinking the victim is the one at fault. The cheater deserves some pain back at them (not necessarily revenge cheating), but quite a lot of trash talk. Is it wrong? No not at all, they had the balls to cheat on someone, so screw them. They can handle it.

  18. #518
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    yo how can a woman be this sexist intentionally

    it just makes no damn sense man
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuboy View Post
    Quick, someone get the scientific community onto this one! A truly brilliant hypothesis that would have been insofar overlooked by every researcher who has contributed to this field of science. And it's only 8th grade stuff!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Zero
    I roam Johto with my partner Pokemon, Rattata, who knows Hyper Fang, Sunny Day, Rock Smash and Cut. Anyone who runs with more than one Pokemon or evolves their Pokemon takes the game way too seriously.

  19. #519
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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostAnime View Post
    yo how can a woman be this sexist intentionally

    it just makes no damn sense man
    I've actually been thinking about it and I don't think she does it on purpose. It seems, based on her posting history, that she's been socially isolated for some time. As a young girl, I was bullied, and it left an almost permanent distrust of blonde girls that I'm only now starting to get over. Slimming down, joining lacrosse, moving to another school, and later joining a sorority helped me to get over my initial negative feelings toward women. If a bullied child has not had these opportunities, or if s/he lacks resilience in some way (which can only be learned to a certain extent; resilience has a high heritability correlation), these feelings may grow. If the bullying victim later becomes a part of a community that dislikes, say, women (see: the MRM, and, tbh, the internet writ large), group polarization can occur, especially if that person does not have much of a chance to interact socially with other women. Most information about their behavior will be gleaned from reports by other members of the community, and from mainstream media, which, as we've seen, likes to pit women against each other. It makes good television. This information will lead to a further distrust in women, etc.

    I don't think it's "intentional" and I don't think she wants to feel this way; I think she's making decisions based on the evidence accessible to her.
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  20. #520

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    Intentional? No, I would never. If I could be a perfect, "I love everyone and I'll never judge" person, I would instantly, but because the world isn't truly like that, I was not brought up in such an environment. My world does constantly consists of people passing judgement based on the outside and there's only a few people that truly understand where I come from. Cheating hurts and I even though it's never happened to me (because I am a good person and I don't give my partner a reason to cheat), I can understand how it could hurt another person. I do know of someone who's cheated, but the partner forgave them, however they went back and revenge cheated so that was pretty much a blow to the head and the person left, just like that.

    I would never revenge cheat because I'd hate myself for doing it. If I forgave my partner, I should continue to be the bigger person and make the relationship work, not make it worse just for me to get even. Plus, cheating is heavily looked at as adultery in my community. So if you cheat, you are probably not going to get a good rep unless you change your ways.
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  21. #521
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    Intentional? No, I would never. If I could be a perfect, "I love everyone and I'll never judge" person, I would instantly, but because the world isn't truly like that, I was not brought up in such an environment. My world does constantly consists of people passing judgement based on the outside and there's only a few people that truly understand where I come from. Cheating hurts and I even though it's never happened to me (because I am a good person and I don't give my partner a reason to cheat), I can understand how it could hurt another person. I do know of someone who's cheated, but the partner forgave them, however they went back and revenge cheated so that was pretty much a blow to the head and the person left, just like that.

    I would never revenge cheat because I'd hate myself for doing it. If I forgave my partner, I should continue to be the bigger person and make the relationship work, not make it worse just for me to get even. Plus, cheating is heavily looked at as adultery in my community. So if you cheat, you are probably not going to get a good rep unless you change your ways.
    I think you're completely missing the point of why people are annoyed with your post. Either that or you completely skipped over it because nothing in this post explains why you have such negative feelings toward women.

    No one's asking you to be nonjudgemental. They're telling you to quit making absurd blanket statements that you only back up with vague anecdotal evidence.

  22. #522

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    I think you're completely missing the point of why people are annoyed with your post. Either that or you completely skipped over it because nothing in this post explains why you have such negative feelings toward women.

    No one's asking you to be nonjudgemental. They're telling you to quit making absurd blanket statements that you only back up with vague anecdotal evidence.
    I forgot that someone asked me. I saw "intentional" and I started going at it. If you really must know, I have no hatred towards women whatsoever. I write and most of writings feature girls as main characters. I also treat them the same as I treat any guy. In my most politically correct way, it's things that they can get away with that are... unsettling. Gah, you aren't going to understand but that's how I feel.
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  23. #523
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    I forgot that someone asked me. I saw "intentional" and I started going at it. If you really must know, I have no hatred towards women whatsoever. In my most politically correct way, it's things that they can get away with that are... unsettling. Gah, you aren't going to understand but that's how I feel.
    You seem to have some weird internalized prejudice toward minorities (women included) because you think they get everything handed to them... Which certainly isn't the case in reality.

  24. #524

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    On cheating, what bothers me is that alot of the guys that cheat, they do have to take all the blame (because, you know they cheated they have to), but never really say that same message to the other side. I know it's men who mostly cheat, I just hate how in relationship problems, the balance is unjust when it comes to the cheater. Why can't they say "people that cheat must take all the blame" and not make it a one-sided issue? Is it that hard to do.

    Everyone knows that cheating is bad, some people just handle it differently. I would probably figure out what I did wrong but others will say they are fine and run with it.
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  25. #525
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    On cheating, what bothers me is that alot of the guys that cheat, they do have to take all the blame (because, you know they cheated they have to), but never really say that same message to the other side. I know it's men who mostly cheat, I just hate how in relationship problems, the balance is unjust when it comes to the cheater. Why can't they say "people that cheat must take all the blame" and not make it a one-sided issue? Is it that hard to do.

    Everyone knows that cheating is bad, some people just handle it differently. I would probably figure out what I did wrong but others will say they are fine and run with it.
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but you appear to be the only person in this thread who has had a one-sided view on things. People who cheat should take all the blame because they cheated. What sex they are doesn't matter.

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