Page 6 of 26 FirstFirst ... 234567891016 ... LastLast
Results 126 to 150 of 640

Thread: Cheating on your partner.. is it as wrong as people make it out to be

  1. #126
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Fortree City-Hoenn
    Posts
    327

    Default

    I think its an ultimate form of betrayal, the reason is because you made a commitment to one person and they trust you. You are one of the closest people to them and you betray them by pretty much replacing them with someone else.
    My Pokemon White FC: 4728-4965-2910
    My Pokemon White 2 FC: 4513-8303-2953

  2. #127
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Sunny California
    Posts
    2,921

    Default

    I'd say my reason for especially rejecting the idea of an open relationship, is to keep the relationship balanced rather than be the enabler for someone who constantly takes. That both makes a resentful giver and tragically teaches someone to be a taker. But it does occur to me that all the psychological ideas I have about relationships are built on the basis of an exclusive relationship between only two people and defined by human limits that aren't always clearly defined in reality. If someone can truly stay deeply in love with another person no matter what they do and still respect themselves fully, then more power to them. Maybe it's actually a flaw of mine that I don't allow myself to do that, and by believing in those limits, I've closed myself to any other option, perhaps closed myself to unconditional love itself.

    That may be a little exaggerated, but it's an epiphany I just had.

    Quote Originally Posted by Albus Dumbledore
    Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.

    My deviantART
    | Suggested Alternative News: The Juice Rap News and The Corbett Report

  3. #128
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Off doing something important
    Posts
    4,898

    Default

    Here's another thought: threesomes. Are they "cheating" if all parties involved are open, trusting and consenting adults?

    Many people desire to experience a threesome at least once in their life. Not all people are comfortable with them - I certainly am not - but if all parties agree, are comfortable, are consenting, aren't jealous, are open and communicative about their thoughts, feelings and desires, is it cheating?

    This opens the question of what cheating is. Because if your partner agrees to it, is comfortable, isn't jealous and is 100% consenting, how can it be cheating?


    Quote Originally Posted by iFi Salamander View Post
    It is true those are generalizations. However from my experience that seems how it happens. I notice women go out of their way to cheat, but men won't. However in the situation they don't have to go out of their way they might take it.

    In the end it has to do more with insecurities. I truly think if anyone gets to the point of desiring cheating that they made need to discuss feelings or a termination of the relationship. Cheating usually comes at a point of weakness in the relationship.
    I would suggest expanding your horizons and doing some research, simply because one's own personal experiences can be limited by the kind of environment one lives in. That's not the individual's fault, it's just a result of living in a certain area with certain kinds of people.

    I would mostly agree with the second paragraph, though.



    Quote Originally Posted by voicerocker View Post
    Yes, I'll admit I do not like the idea of open relationships, but I also don't see how 2 people can build love for each other by dating other people at the same time. To be "in love" with someone means (or should mean) you only have feelings for your partner and they are the only person you would want to be with.
    The foundation for that love may already be there, and it's not necessarily dating other people. It can be simply engaging in sexual activity with another person which, as many of us know, you don't have to be in love to do. This can be a one-night thing or ongoing, at the person's leisure, and does not automatically mean that they have feelings for someone else.

    That said, since when is love something that can only ever be felt towards one person? Love is not a limited resource, after all! For instance, I love my family, I love my friends, and even my ex-boyfriend was only somebody I ever loved as a friend. Does that mean I was cheating on him by loving my other friends as much as I loved him? What about people who have been in multiple relationships where they deeply loved their partner, even if that relationship never worked out? Does this somehow not count because they loved more than one person with the same passion at different points in their life? If not, then what is the difference if one happens to love multiple people with the same passion simultaneously?


    Quote Originally Posted by voicerocker View Post
    I see open relationships like eating at multiple restaurants for dinner. You can choose between Popeyes, Burger King, and Pizza Hut. You should be able to eat your fill of whatever each restaurant is offering and be satisfied only with 1 of them. There should be no reason for someone to eat a pizza at Pizza Hut and then feel the need to go get a burger from Burger King. Of course, unlike relationships with people, we have no commitment to these restaurants so we are free to each at whichever we like whenever we like. However, people shouldn't be treating their partners like fast food restaurants and running from one to the other so they can have a little of everything, that's not a relationship. If you supposedly love the person you're with, you shouldn't have a reason to bring in someone else.
    Not sure if this is as strong a simile as you might have hoped, but I'll do my best to continue it.

    I have friends who are bottomless stomachs. In one night, they can eat an entire pizza, an order of fries and quite a few breadsticks. But if that's all the restaurant serves and they've been eating there for a year, and are still hungry after that meal, they may become a little tired or frustrated, especially if they're just craving some dessert. If this pizza place cannot provide that (and of course some places can) and they are still hungry, if they want an ice cream sundae that the pizza place doesn't have available, and if they sit down with with the pizza place and reach a mutual agreement, the pizza place can either learn to make sundaes or that person can get that sundae elsewhere.

    The reason for bringing in someone else could be because they don't feel completely satisfied with their current partner in every single facet, and wish to get their needs met because they are still hungry. This can be because they do not feel emotionally fulfilled, or sexually satisfied, or their partner simply isn't around enough. If there is a need that isn't being met, and the partner knows they cannot meet this need 24/7, then I don't see a problem with finding another way to meet those needs so long as all parties are in agreement.


    Quote Originally Posted by voicerocker View Post
    Relationships need to work like business contracts: both sides explain what they are offering the other, and if the parties agree, a deal is struck meaning "We're together now" or "We're a couple now". But these should be exclusive contracts, meaning no third party can enter. (If you're in love, you have no excuse to introduce the idea of a third party being involved).
    But the best part of making a contract is that you get to choose the rules. Some "contracts" are just arrangements for summer flings, and some can be focused on having children. Different people want different things from a relationship, which is why not every single couple has marriage or growing old together as a final goal. Does this make a relationship any less valid?

    A "contract" here is simply a set of rules created by the two parties in order to live in harmony as a couple. If they want to create rules that allow other people in but still allows them to live in harmony, then who cares? As long as a couple is happy, their relationship is nobody else's business. It's like saying "if you and your partner don't get married/have kids/grow old together, then you obviously don't love each other." Love isn't measured in any one, single way.


    Quote Originally Posted by voicerocker View Post
    I just don't see how dating other people when you're supposedly in love with someone will bring you closer to that person. Seems very backwards. Maybe it works for some, but I would imagine they are far from the majority of people.
    Because there is a correlation between how much a couple is open and communicative vs how happy they are, and discussing open relationships is going to ensure that this openness and communication is there. Of course this isn't the only way for a couple to know each other more intimately, but many of those ways do involve a desire for exploration, which often makes involved parties open up. (For instance, trying bondage won't be as smooth if you don't talk about it and air out your concerns first.)

    Yep, that's why I said it's not for everyone. ^^ You're absolutely right, it doesn't work for anything close to the majority of couples, but that's okay. We've just heard from one person who does do it and is happy, though - of all the people who have posted in this thread, DruidKairne has been the only one who can tell us firsthand that he does this and is happy, showing that yes, it's not the majority, but that some can find happiness this way. If it works for him, and he and his partners are happy, who cares? It's not like we can tell him "you aren't truly happy if you're with more than one person" because we're not in his position, just like he can't tell us "you aren't truly happy being with only one person" because he's not in our position.


    Quote Originally Posted by voicerocker View Post
    Shouldn't that be the person you'd want to be with all the time? The one who accepts you the way you are, even if you aren't perfect? Isn't that true love? If you have true love at home, why would you ask for more? If you need more than that, you're not in love.
    Absolutely not! I want to spent plenty of time with people other than my partner - seeing friends, visiting family, attending class, going skiing, writing stories, you name it. My friends and family also accept me the way I am, and I love them for it and I love getting to see them all. I must to see people other than a partner, because I have other needs, such as the need to spend time with family, see friends, enhance my education and so on. There are certain needs a significant other should fulfill, but if someone feels their partner can't fulfill their need for sexual satisfaction the same way my partner can't fulfill my need to enhance my education, then I can understand that. You can love someone who doesn't fulfill every single need and desire you have - if this wasn't so, then I'd have to date my professor. :<


    Quote Originally Posted by voicerocker View Post
    Like I said, I'm sure it works for some. However, it seems to me that the only people who would truly embrace this would be people who have issues about staying with only 1 person. If this is the case, why not just date constantly, without the relationship part? Then, there's absolutely no commitment to be concerned with. Again, I see it as "the best of both worlds". My point is this: either commit to whoever you supposedly love if that is what you want, or 2: just date, don't have a relationship beyond that if commitment isn't something you want to deal with.
    Because generally, one person can provide the stability the majority of humans want, even if that one person cannot always provide all the needs some humans may have. So you turn to that relationship for the stability, the love, the majority of your needs, but you may look elsewhere should you have other needs.

    If your relationship already meets your needs, then power to you. But your partner knows it does not, yet you still love one another, then power to you if you can find ways to meet all your needs while retaining a strong relationship.



    Quote Originally Posted by DruidKairne View Post
    Thanks for defending alternative type of relationships, Psychic. Just because most people don't understand them, and most people aren't wired that way, doesn't at all mean they are fundamentally bad, or wrong.
    Always happy to try opening peoples' minds. :> Thank you for coming and sharing your experience with us! I thought it was quite interesting.



    Quote Originally Posted by SunnyC View Post
    I'd say my reason for especially rejecting the idea of an open relationship, is to keep the relationship balanced rather than be the enabler for someone who constantly takes. That both makes a resentful giver and tragically teaches someone to be a taker.
    What if both people are "takers"? What if they are normally monogamous, but have concluded and agreed that in this relationship, they would each be comfortable with this arrangement? This doesn't have to be one-sided, and personally I'd think there would be much more of a risk if it is.


    Quote Originally Posted by SunnyC View Post
    But it does occur to me that all the psychological ideas I have about relationships are built on the basis of an exclusive relationship between only two people and defined by human limits that aren't always clearly defined in reality. If someone can truly stay deeply in love with another person no matter what they do and still respect themselves fully, then more power to them. Maybe it's actually a flaw of mine that I don't allow myself to do that, and by believing in those limits, I've closed myself to any other option, perhaps closed myself to unconditional love itself.

    That may be a little exaggerated, but it's an epiphany I just had.
    It's an interesting thought, I'd agree. As I said, I don't think open relationships are for everyone, or that every person should try it once. If you are happy with what you have and what you know, you don't need to change anything.

    But to me, being open-minded to different kinds of relationships (those relationships each involve informed consent, anyway) is a more healthy stance to take than just shutting down what doesn't appeal to you. Kudos for the open-mindedness.


    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    So men and women cheat for the same reasons then?
    Read the article. That's why I linked it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    As to why cheat on someone they truly love? That would be because they are not truly in love. When my 1st wife left with another man, I went out to get my pound of flesh. and I LITERALLY could not do it. Hurt and angry as I was, I could not violate the love I still had for her!
    Again, these sweeping generalizations are just silly. Mandi said that when she's in a relationship, she can never be attracted to another person. I'm sure am not the only person who has never experienced this. If that's how you function, good on you, but please don't assume it applies to everyone.



    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    It IS a good reason.
    No, your personal safety should be your top priority. If staying with someone puts you in danger, could mean you getting hurt, could mean you getting killed, could mean your family and friends mourning your death, what's the point?


    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    Most don't understand because you make it out to be so easy to leave and find someone else. It's not easy, especially for someone like me who before was teased and laughed at because I had no date like the other girls my age. Most girls when i was still in school were already dating and you know. Same with the guys and they would tease me about not doing that. So having a partner now, it's a freaking big deal for me mean. And this was a friend of mine that I'd talk to and then I realized that yeah I my personality really shined though (lol)

    But yeah, it's a big deal.
    You're on a forum full of Pokemon nerds; most of us got bullied and had social issues and dating problems. That includes me. But everyone has to move on and get over it and stop acting like it's the end of the world, because it is seriously irritating. You're not teased anymore, you have a partner, so move on with your life.

    If you build your entire life around "I'm only worth something if I have a boyfriend," then you're trapping yourself to only find happiness one way, and your entire world will come crashing down if you lose that. You're the only person standing in the way of your own happiness, but if you think you can only be happy by staying with a person who does horrible things to you, then you're screwing yourself.


    ~Psychic

    Pokéthon was a huge success! Check out our Facebook page for photos from the event!

  4. #129
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    Threesomes are cheating IF you are participating in one without your partner or without their knowledge. If a couple is willing to explore that path together, then it is not cheating. They are "sharing" the experience. Now what happens after "sharing" that experience is usually not worth the adventure, to a relationship.

    Again, these sweeping generalizations are just silly. Mandi said that when she's in a relationship, she can never be attracted to another person. I'm sure am not the only person who has never experienced this. If that's how you function, good on you, but please don't assume it applies to everyone.
    Being attracted to another person and being in love are two different places Psychic. I love my wife, I think she is beautiful beyond compare. That does not mean other women stop being attractive! They may be less attractive because you are in love, But to say you do not fine anyone but your partner attractive is Silly to me.
    Last edited by Malanu; 20th August 2012 at 11:00 PM.

    So true!

  5. #130
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    2,982

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Psychic View Post
    Here's another thought: threesomes. Are they "cheating" if all parties involved are open, trusting and consenting adults?

    Many people desire to experience a threesome at least once in their life. Not all people are comfortable with them - I certainly am not - but if all parties agree, are comfortable, are consenting, aren't jealous, are open and communicative about their thoughts, feelings and desires, is it cheating?
    I really don't understand threesomes. Again, I'm stating my opinion. I might be a weirdo compared to most people. But threesomes.. I don't know. I believe sex should be with only someone you are in love with. Having sex with more than one person at a time just seems silly, and way too overwhelming. Why is getting pleasure from the one who you love not enough? Are people really this selfish?

    This opens the question of what cheating is. Because if your partner agrees to it, is comfortable, isn't jealous and is 100% consenting, how can it be cheating?
    If said partner doesn't feel even a tad bit jealous when their partner is with someone else.. then there is obviously something wrong and the partner obviously doesn't have much feelings for their other. Be for real now. How can someone not feel just a little bit insecure and jealous when their partner is doing things with someone else, that they also have with the person their with?

    The foundation for that love may already be there, and it's not necessarily dating other people. It can be simply engaging in sexual activity with another person which, as many of us know, you don't have to be in love to do. This can be a one-night thing or ongoing, at the person's leisure, and does not automatically mean that they have feelings for someone else.
    If someone's partner doesn't care if their significant other is sleeping around with random men/woman, then by all means, go ahead and do it. But I'll gladly state that there must be no love in those relationships if the two don't give a ****. But we're talking about cheating. Going behind your partner's back and sleeping with another woman/man, when it's obviously wrong and going to cause a lot of mental (also includes physical) damage and pain to their partner. That's when I find it wrong. But if the two are somehow ok with the fact that each other are having sexual or any kind of romantic actions with another person, then whatever.

    That said, since when is love something that can only ever be felt towards one person? Love is not a limited resource, after all! For instance, I love my family, I love my friends, and even my ex-boyfriend was only somebody I ever loved as a friend. Does that mean I was cheating on him by loving my other friends as much as I loved him? What about people who have been in multiple relationships where they deeply loved their partner, even if that relationship never worked out? Does this somehow not count because they loved more than one person with the same passion at different points in their life? If not, then what is the difference if one happens to love multiple people with the same passion simultaneously?
    I'm sorry, but I'm just going to assume you've never been IN love with someone. Being in love and loving someone are two TOTALLY different things. Sometimes love isn't even love.. it's lust may I also add. Loving friends and being in love with your partner are nowhere near the same.

    The reason for bringing in someone else could be because they don't feel completely satisfied with their current partner in every single facet, and wish to get their needs met because they are still hungry. This can be because they do not feel emotionally fulfilled, or sexually satisfied, or their partner simply isn't around enough. If there is a need that isn't being met, and the partner knows they cannot meet this need 24/7, then I don't see a problem with finding another way to meet those needs so long as all parties are in agreement.
    Selfishness. Nothing more to say.

    Again, these sweeping generalizations are just silly. Mandi said that when she's in a relationship, she can never be attracted to another person. I'm sure am not the only person who has never experienced this. If that's how you function, good on you, but please don't assume it applies to everyone.
    I didn't simply say just in a relationship. I said IN love. Anyone could be in a relationship just for the fact that they find that person hot, but they really don't have true feelings for them. I'm in love with my man, like literally IN love (call me a sap all you want.) I look at guys that are considered attractive, but I only look at them for a second, unlike horny girls that are like "OMG HE'S HOT OMG." Sure that guy may be attractive, but do I care? No.

    I would never stare at a guy and have wild fantasies about him while I'm totally in love with the amazing guy I'm with. It's just not right. And I don't feel that joy that most girls would when they see some random hot guy. Why? Because I'm extremely happy with my man. I don't care if he doesn't give me everything I want. He gives me love, and that's all I need.

  6. #131
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi
    Selfishness. Nothing more to say.
    This is the correct answer. A threesome is pretty much initiated for personal(selfish) gratification.If one wants to be with more than one lover, it is because they have a bloated ego. Yes they may have mad skills, but all they are really doing is feeding their own ego. I wanted to try a threesome when I was younger (much younger!), that should have been a sign that there was something wrong in my first marriage though! Threesomes are only about sex. there can never be true feelings involved and eventually someone is going to get hurt emotionally When someone comes along and is a better "fit" between the sheets.

    So if someone wants to go that route, it's best if it's on a wild bender of a night, and not if you are with someone who you have feelings for.

    I'm sorry, but I'm just going to assume you've never been IN love with someone. Being in love and loving someone are two TOTALLY different things. Sometimes love isn't even love.. it's lust may I also add. Loving friends and being in love with your partner are nowhere near the same.
    This statement I can attest to. I've loved my wife for 24 years, but it is the last few that I realized what being "In Love" truly means.
    Last edited by Malanu; 23rd August 2012 at 1:09 AM.

    So true!

  7. #132
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Creeping on your boyfriend
    Posts
    1,677

    Default

    That moment when I haven't been in a real relationship yet seem to understand more about them than some people in this thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    I really don't understand threesomes. Again, I'm stating my opinion. I might be a weirdo compared to most people. But threesomes.. I don't know. I believe sex should be with only someone you are in love with. Having sex with more than one person at a time just seems silly, and way too overwhelming. Why is getting pleasure from the one who you love not enough? Are people really this selfish?
    People like to have fun and experience different things. When you say that sex should only be with someone you love, are you also discouraging one night stands? There are plenty of reasons why people would want to have sex, even if they aren't in love. If they're being healthy (and most importantly not hurting anybody!) then why is it the place of anybody to judge how often they have sex and who they have sex with? I don't think it's very fair of you to be slapping a label of "selfish" onto people who like to explore their sexuality and try new experiences. I could donate all my time to helping charities and act like Mother Theresa, yet I'd be selfish just because I engage in a threesome? That's silly.

    If said partner doesn't feel even a tad bit jealous when their partner is with someone else.. then there is obviously something wrong and the partner obviously doesn't have much feelings for their other. Be for real now. How can someone not feel just a little bit insecure and jealous when their partner is doing things with someone else, that they also have with the person their with?
    Perhaps you shouldn't be judging people and how they view their own personal relationships. Everybody is different, that's a fact. If we're still on the topic of threesomes, perhaps the partner is turned on by seeing their loved one engaging with another person? I'm not one to judge people's kinks, and many people may feel the way that you've said it. However, saying that their relationship is wrong or saying that they don't truly love each other as a result of it is not your place and you should understand you don't have the right to say that.

    If someone's partner doesn't care if their significant other is sleeping around with random men/woman, then by all means, go ahead and do it. But I'll gladly state that there must be no love in those relationships if the two don't give a ****. But we're talking about cheating. Going behind your partner's back and sleeping with another woman/man, when it's obviously wrong and going to cause a lot of mental (also includes physical) damage and pain to their partner. That's when I find it wrong. But if the two are somehow ok with the fact that each other are having sexual or any kind of romantic actions with another person, then whatever.
    Once again, you can't throw out how you personally identify love and use it as a factor in the relationship of other people. Cheating is a terrible thing though and we can agree on that.

    I'm sorry, but I'm just going to assume you've never been IN love with someone. Being in love and loving someone are two TOTALLY different things. Sometimes love isn't even love.. it's lust may I also add. Loving friends and being in love with your partner are nowhere near the same.
    I can't say much on the subject because I've never personally been in love, but someone may see the love of those two as sort of similar. At least, I imagine that I would love and care for my loved one to a similar fashion I would do for my friends and family. I would just do it more, and have more of an intimate relationship with them.

    Selfishness. Nothing more to say.
    Good lord if their partner is in agreement you can't judge them. Is it selfish? Perhaps, but you don't need to start judging their own relationship and decisions just because you don't agree with them. Take a step back. Not everyone will live their life the way you think it should be lived.

    I would never stare at a guy and have wild fantasies about him while I'm totally in love with the amazing guy I'm with. It's just not right. And I don't feel that joy that most girls would when they see some random hot guy. Why? Because I'm extremely happy with my man. I don't care if he doesn't give me everything I want. He gives me love, and that's all I need.
    As long as the two parties give each other love, even if they may have sex with other people (as long as it's consensual and in agreement), then that's all they need. Do you see the link?

    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    This is the correct answer. A threesome is pretty much initiated for personal(selfish) gratification.If one wants to be with more than one lover, it is because they have a bloated ego. Yes they may have mad skills, but all they are really doing is feeding their own ego. I wanted to try a threesome when I was younger (much younger!), that should have been a sign that there was something wrong in my first marriage though! Threesomes are only about sex. there can never be true feelings involved and eventually someone is going to get hurt emotionally When someone comes along and is a better "fit" between the sheets.
    Or there's a neat thing called polyamory and groups that live together because they genuinely love each other. It's not about being selfish, why do you need to assume that? If there's a group of three people who live in a nice, wonderful, secure relationships, then their "threesomes" can be totally full of love. Stop generalizing Malanu, it's embarrassing.

    That being said a couple that wants to try a threesome is probably in it for the sex, but you can't just say every threesome ever is just about sex period. There are relationships with more than two parties, and even if it's not for you, you can't just insult them and say it's just about sex and they'll kick someone out if they're better in the sack :/


  8. #133
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    It's not embarrassing at all Moogles!

    You are confusing threesomes with polygamy. I however haven't. If a threesome isn't just about the sex then what is it about? Poligamy is having multiple wives, it isn't them all jumping in bed together usually. and if it weren't a great big "Me thing" Why is Polyandry Illegal?
    Polyandry (Greek: poly—many, andras—man) refers to a form of marriage in which a woman takes two or more husbands at the same time. Polyandry is prohibited by Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity and Islam and it is illegal in most countries, including those that permit polygyny.
    So I will stand by my embarrassing belief.

    So true!

  9. #134
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Creeping on your boyfriend
    Posts
    1,677

    Default

    I mean this in the kindest way possible but please re-read my post because you've clearly learned nothing from it, nor have you even brushed on the fact I used the word polyamory rather than polygamy/polyandry, which are very different things.


  10. #135
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    dere in the sheets
    Posts
    8,883

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    If one wants to be with more than one lover, it is because they have a bloated ego.
    I don't think this is very fair. Maybe some people just like options. Doesn't mean their ego is bloated.

  11. #136
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    I did misread the polyamory, and for that I apologize, However my statement about threesomes and love will stand. The fact that there is a minority of people who try to function that way does not make it normal!

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/newswee...u-and-you.html
    Polyamory might sound like heaven to some: a variety of partners, adding spice and a respite from the familiarity and boredom that's doomed many a traditional couple. But humans are hard-wired to be jealous, and though it may be possible to overcome it, polyamorous couples are "fighting Mother Nature" when they try, says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, a professor at Rutgers University who has long studied the chemistry of love. Polys say they aren't so much denying their biological instincts as insisting they can work around them—through open communication, patience, and honesty. Polys call this process "compersion"—or learning to find personal fulfillment in the emotional and sexual satisfaction of your partner, even if you're not the one doing the satisfying. "It's about making sure that everybody's needs are met, including your own," says Terisa. "And that's not always easy, but it's part of the fun."
    The bold makes my point for me! They are people fighting and denying what they already know. In the end you can only truly love one person at a time.

    I don't think this is very fair. Maybe some people just like options. Doesn't mean their ego is bloated.
    That is what dating is for. You keep your options open, Threesomes and orgies is gluttony... in bed! You date people you like, you have relationships and get married to the one you love.
    Last edited by Malanu; 23rd August 2012 at 3:58 AM.

    So true!

  12. #137
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Creeping on your boyfriend
    Posts
    1,677

    Default

    The bold doesn't really prove the point at all. It proves that they're working around them, therefor making a relationship that works even if they have an "abnormal" amount of people inside of it. Your quote further proves to go on what good values are in a healthy relationship open communication, patience, and honesty. If they're working so hard at it, even despite the circumstances, then who the hell are you to proclaim that it isn't love?

    Regarding threesomes with couples I already touched up on that. However, a group of three in a polyamorous relationship would be engaging in threesomes in the bed, wouldn't they?

    That being said a couple that wants to try a threesome is probably in it for the sex, but you can't just say every threesome ever is just about sex period. There are relationships with more than two parties, and even if it's not for you, you can't just insult them and say it's just about sex and they'll kick someone out if they're better in the sack :/


  13. #138
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Gone
    Posts
    1,142

    Default

    Well a man is biologically programmed to go with as many women as possible, in order to 'spread their seed', but in this day in age that is surpressed by the male psyche but never the less that program is still there and can contribute to a mans judgement on this.
    The most Superior Snivy. Left, good time here though. I loved this place.

  14. #139
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Moogles View Post
    The bold doesn't really prove the point at all. It proves that they're working around them, therefor making a relationship that works even if they have an "abnormal" amount of people inside of it. Your quote further proves to go on what good values are in a healthy relationship open communication, patience, and honesty. If they're working so hard at it, even despite the circumstances, then who the hell are you to proclaim that it isn't love?

    Regarding threesomes with couples I already touched up on that. However, a group of three in a polyamorous relationship would be engaging in threesomes in the bed, wouldn't they?
    You missed the word TRYING, they are trying to make a working relationship.

    No. You see that is the point of having an opinion. I can say that, if that is what I believe. Also the the researcher states that the Polyamorous "group" are in fact "fighting mother nature" They also say that it is A LOT of work to make it function. If it is so gosh darn good, why does it take so much effort? It takes lots of time and effort to make just one relationship work with open communication, Patience, honesty, trust, & consideration. Now juggling partners, keeping life stories straight (Who is having issues at work that kinda thing). the eternal niggle of am I the better lover, am I the preferred partner? I'm a fairly open minded guy, but I can see the fail all over this set up. If normal couples cannot make one relationship work, you honestly thing have 2-4 going on simultaneously is going to be easier? Really? This is just cheaters looking for a pass for bad behavior and lack of commitment.

    And NO they do not always! A lot of what I have read was, usually partner A would go out with Partner C and end up at a hotel or away from Partner B. It was the rare couple who actually shared the bed with an extra set of fun bits! Even so far as the "Couple" sleeping in a different room than the primary mate. This is just a new twist on swingers, and that lifestyle grows old quickly!

    Well a man is biologically programmed to go with as many women as possible, in order to 'spread their seed', but in this day in age that is surpressed by the male psyche but never the less that program is still there and can contribute to a mans judgement on this.
    In this day and age? Sorry Joker but that was fitting of your screen name! Think about the context of what you said Please? Cheating has been going on since BEFORE the bible(Zeus was a philandering freak!), it isn't new to this day and age.
    Last edited by Malanu; 23rd August 2012 at 10:43 PM.

    So true!

  15. #140
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Creeping on your boyfriend
    Posts
    1,677

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    You missed the word TRYING, they are trying to make a working relationship.
    There's no word "trying" in the quote you said, nor in your post. So I didn't miss a word at all, unless I'm misreading things.

    No. You see that is the point of having an opinion.
    I know. I can refute your opinion with my own. I'm allowed to call out your opinion Oh wait, you spelled that out too:

    I can say that, if that is what I believe.
    Also the the researcher states that the Polyamorous "group" are in fact "fighting mother nature" They also say that it is A LOT of work to make it function. If it is so gosh darn good, why does it take so much effort? It takes lots of time and effort to make just one relationship work with open communication, Patience, honesty, trust, & consideration. Now juggling partners, keeping life stories straight (Who is having issues at work that kinda thing). the eternal niggle of am I the better lover, am I the preferred partner? I'm a fairly open minded guy, but I can see the fail all over this set up. If normal couples cannot make one relationship work, you honestly thing have 2-4 going on simultaneously is going to be easier? Really? This is just cheaters looking for a pass for bad behavior and lack of commitment.
    Ok, so you've basically established that it isn't for everybody and it is in fact difficult to make these sort of relationships work. That's cool, and I totally agree. I could never find myself in a situation like that just because of how difficult it is, and it takes another kind of person to pull it off properly. However, labelling all polyamorous groups as selfish or that their love isn't real/whathaveyou isn't necessary and it's wrong.

    And NO they do not always! A lot of what I have read was, usually partner A would go out with Partner C and end up at a hotel or away from Partner B. It was the rare couple who actually shared the bed with an extra set of fun bits! Even so far as the "Couple" sleeping in a different room than the primary mate. This is just a new twist on swingers, and that lifestyle grows old quickly!
    As I've actually immersed myself with people who are polyamorous a lot of what I've seen is actually a group of three sharing the same bed every night. However, since I'm not a polyamorous person myself I'll admit I need to do more research on the norm of how it works. That being said, it's still completely possible for some people and people don't need to unnecessarily judge them just because it isn't to their taste. I mean look at me, I could never do it nor do I necessarily like it but I'm not calling it selfish/not real/whatever the hell else people were calling it in this thread.


  16. #141
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    If I had labelled Poliamorous groups as that then you would be correct. But as many Polyamorous groups do not participate in Threesomes, I have not condemned them all to a blanket observation. I have only accused those people who have threesomes as being selfish. And for that matter, eating your cake and having it too is selfish! Oh sure you could rationalize that I can love more than one person, but if you are sharing yourself you cannot truly be in love. It's more of a family love (for lack of a better comparison. I can love my brother and sister, mother and father all equally, But they all can step off a long peer when it comes to wanting to trump the love you can have with a wife/husband/life partner! Plain and simple the Poliamorous crowd, do not know love as deep and rewarding as a monogamous relationship gone right.

    As for my views, they are mine, you are allowed to not like them, and I am Ok with that. It won't change what I think, but that's cool. Being selfish is a bad trait, but that does not mean that the individual is at heart a bad person! It just means they have a flaw. Me... I'm a bit arrogant, it is my personality flaw. But after that, I'm a good man who looks out for his family and friends.

    As for the word trying... I read it as being <Implied> in the Quote:
    And that's not always easy, but it's part of the fun."
    This can easily be read as they are trying to make it work, and That is the fun of it.

    As a lot of my friends say, Your Mileage may vary.
    Last edited by Malanu; 24th August 2012 at 2:14 AM.

    So true!

  17. #142
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    2,982

    Default

    I believe (IMO) Relationships where there are more than two people, someone is always going to be getting more love or attention. And someone is always going to be more loved than the other.

    The feeling I feel with my ONE partner ..I could never feel anything near to what I feel with him with anyone else.. especially at the same time. Which is why I believe Poly relationships can't possibly be made of true love. Love yes, but actual feeling of being IN love. Not at all. I know I can't speak for everyone because the term true love can be highly disagreed among many. Not everyone believes there's such thing as true love, but I can tell you this, in my own experience.. it can happen to anyone. It might not happen to everyone, but it can be very real if you find that someone who feels the same way.. and if you're able to believe it yourself.

    Don't misread what I'm saying though. I obviously know you can love and be sexually attracted to multiple people, don't get me wrong. There's many different forms of love. Like loving your family, loving your friends. Loving someone and being physically attracted to them (which can totally be mistaken for lust.) So I will always believe relationships with multiple people involved as more of a friendly fun sort of game, rather than a loving relationship.

    Funny thing is.. this isn't even necessarily cheating if everyone in the relationship agrees. So this debate we're having atm isn't even relevant tbh.

  18. #143
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    71

    Default

    basically, i think cheating is wrong. the pain it causes is really unbearable; knowing your partner wasn't satisfied with you in some aspect so they had to seek it from someone else. it sucks. so yeah, it's pretty wrong.

    adding to the threesomes bit, i think polyamorous relationships are strange too. i mean, if you make it work that's cool. it just seems as though one person will get just a little more attention as Mandi stated. while it's not cheating, it seems as though one person will be singled out a bit.

    oh it's a love/hate romance. 'cause i could watch her dance, if i've got my boots.
    credit to Ruby Moon

  19. #144
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Off doing something important
    Posts
    4,898

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    Threesomes are cheating IF you are participating in one without your partner or without their knowledge. If a couple is willing to explore that path together, then it is not cheating. They are "sharing" the experience. Now what happens after "sharing" that experience is usually not worth the adventure, to a relationship.

    Being attracted to another person and being in love are two different places Psychic. I love my wife, I think she is beautiful beyond compare. That does not mean other women stop being attractive! They may be less attractive because you are in love, But to say you do not fine anyone but your partner attractive is Silly to me.
    I thought it was pretty obvious that I was referring to threesomes including your partner and someone else. But I do agree that it's not cheating if it's consensual.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    I really don't understand threesomes. Again, I'm stating my opinion. I might be a weirdo compared to most people. But threesomes.. I don't know. I believe sex should be with only someone you are in love with. Having sex with more than one person at a time just seems silly, and way too overwhelming. Why is getting pleasure from the one who you love not enough? Are people really this selfish?
    If you believe sex for anyone should only ever be had with someone you're in love with, sorry to say you should really get with the times. Sex is only as sacred as you make it, because at its base level, it's just giving and receiving pleasure, and to restrict that in any way is pointless. If, for you, sexual activity is only done with the person you're in love with, good on ya, but please don't act like the rest of the world should agree.

    It's not a matter of "not enough" - it's just trying new things. The same way people enjoy adding things like sex toys, others might be interested in adding another person to create an interesting new dynamic. Half the fun of sex is trying different things, and this is simply a new flavour. If that's not a flavour you want to try, then the solution, for you, is not to try it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    If said partner doesn't feel even a tad bit jealous when their partner is with someone else.. then there is obviously something wrong and the partner obviously doesn't have much feelings for their other. Be for real now. How can someone not feel just a little bit insecure and jealous when their partner is doing things with someone else, that they also have with the person their with?
    Because not everybody has to be a jealous prick? Just because you're not jealous doesn't mean you don't care about someone. Especially because there is often no need to be jealous, because many people in that situation realize "my partner may do xyz, but I know I'm the one they'll always come back to," and that is empowering for many. If you're the jealous type, then obviously don't enter into an open relationship. But if someone is happy, who are you to say their happiness isn't real? What gives you that authority?


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    If someone's partner doesn't care if their significant other is sleeping around with random men/woman, then by all means, go ahead and do it. But I'll gladly state that there must be no love in those relationships if the two don't give a ****.
    Honestly, I find your mentality of "I know and can judge you better than you know and can judge yourself" disappointingly close-minded and a little bit ignorant. It's the equivalent of "a man can never love another man - that can't be real, true love, because the only kind of love I know is between a man and a woman." If you're not gay, then you may not understand that love for someone of the same sex, but just because you've never experienced something yourself does not somehow remove its legitimacy.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    I'm sorry, but I'm just going to assume you've never been IN love with someone. Being in love and loving someone are two TOTALLY different things. Sometimes love isn't even love.. it's lust may I also add. Loving friends and being in love with your partner are nowhere near the same.
    So what? That still doesn't prove that love is a limited commodity, which was my point.

    There have been an innumerable number of people throughout history who have been in love with two individuals simultaneously. You cannot judge whether or not that makes those emotions real, because you're not them. Just because you can only be in love with one person does not mean others have undergone the same experience at every juncture in their lifetime.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    Selfishness. Nothing more to say.
    Closemindedness. Nothing more to say.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    I didn't simply say just in a relationship. I said IN love. Anyone could be in a relationship just for the fact that they find that person hot, but they really don't have true feelings for them. I'm in love with my man, like literally IN love (call me a sap all you want.) I look at guys that are considered attractive, but I only look at them for a second, unlike horny girls that are like "OMG HE'S HOT OMG." Sure that guy may be attractive, but do I care? No.
    I apologize for getting that wrong, but you're still missing the point entirely. My point was that if that's how you feel when you're in love, I have no right to say "well Mandi, you are obviously wrong because when I'm in love xyz happens," and you don't either. If that's how it works for you, that's cool, but I hope you realize that it's not how it works for everyone, and this does not somehow make you better or right.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    I would never stare at a guy and have wild fantasies about him while I'm totally in love with the amazing guy I'm with. It's just not right. And I don't feel that joy that most girls would when they see some random hot guy. Why? Because I'm extremely happy with my man. I don't care if he doesn't give me everything I want. He gives me love, and that's all I need.
    I do mean this genuinely - that is great for you, and you should treasure that. If you're both happy, don't change a thing. But if someone feels differently, this does not mean they are in the wrong, and I really hope you realize that.



    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    They also say that it is A LOT of work to make it function. If it is so gosh darn good, why does it take so much effort? It takes lots of time and effort to make just one relationship work with open communication, Patience, honesty, trust, & consideration. Now juggling partners, keeping life stories straight (Who is having issues at work that kinda thing). the eternal niggle of am I the better lover, am I the preferred partner? I'm a fairly open minded guy, but I can see the fail all over this set up. If normal couples cannot make one relationship work, you honestly thing have 2-4 going on simultaneously is going to be easier? Really? This is just cheaters looking for a pass for bad behavior and lack of commitment.
    Since when does putting effort into something make it less good? Since when does that make something less rewarding? As I said before, plenty of open relationships have been stable and lasted, in part because a couple can be brought closer together by the increased amount of communication and understanding that is required. If you don't like it, don't try it, but don't assume that different = horrible and doomed to fail.


    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    Oh sure you could rationalize that I can love more than one person, but if you are sharing yourself you cannot truly be in love. It's more of a family love (for lack of a better comparison. I can love my brother and sister, mother and father all equally, But they all can step off a long peer when it comes to wanting to trump the love you can have with a wife/husband/life partner! Plain and simple the Poliamorous crowd, do not know love as deep and rewarding as a monogamous relationship gone right.
    As I said above, I feel like this sounds like "if you are with someone of the same gender as you, you cannot truly be in love." As I have mentioned, I don't see how love can be a limited commodity, and how more love = not real love.



    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    I believe (IMO) Relationships where there are more than two people, someone is always going to be getting more love or attention. And someone is always going to be more loved than the other.
    And some time ago people used to say "I believe relationships where both people are the same gender will never be as good or legitimate as relationships between a man and a woman." Just because they couldn't understand that kind of relationship did not mean all homosexual love was less legitimate than heterosexual love.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    The feeling I feel with my ONE partner ..I could never feel anything near to what I feel with him with anyone else.. especially at the same time. Which is why I believe Poly relationships can't possibly be made of true love.
    Again, just because that's how you feel does not mean that's how every single person on this planet feels. Like "the feeling I feel when I'm with my partner of the opposite gender I could never feel for same gender, which is why I believe homosexual relationships can't be made of true love." Is this making any sense?


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    I know I can't speak for everyone because the term true love can be highly disagreed among many. Not everyone believes there's such thing as true love, but I can tell you this, in my own experience.. it can happen to anyone. It might not happen to everyone, but it can be very real if you find that someone who feels the same way.. and if you're able to believe it yourself.
    That's why I don't understand why you insist on making these generalizations, because you do acknowledge that opinions of love differ. So I'm just unsure why (and kind of disappointed) you won't acknowledge the same issues exist for relationships.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mandi. View Post
    Funny thing is.. this isn't even necessarily cheating if everyone in the relationship agrees. So this debate we're having atm isn't even relevant tbh.
    XD Okay, absolutely true. I did let myself get carried away here.


    ~Psychic

    Pokéthon was a huge success! Check out our Facebook page for photos from the event!

  20. #145
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    mostly in my mind
    Posts
    1,607

    Default

    > Blanket statements about polyamory by those not in or predispositioned to said type of relationship.
    > The one debater in the place in a long-term polyamorous relationship isn't consulted at all regarding said blanket statements.

    Oh, you. Debate forum, you so funny.

    > Also the the researcher states that the Polyamorous "group" are in fact "fighting mother nature"

    Some will say the same of homosexuality. And yet, with both, there are groups who manage to make it work, despite the odds stacked against them.

    > They also say that it is A LOT of work to make it function. If it is so gosh darn good, why does it take so much effort? It takes lots of time and effort to make just one relationship work with open communication, Patience, honesty, trust, & consideration.

    Life is hard work. You were in the military, which means you know how exertion, hard work, and discipline can be extremely positive things in your development of character, shaping the man you are now. Now, true, it requires rethinking everything you were taught about relationships growing up, but can you honestly say anyone ends up with the relationship they were brought up to see as ideal? Every relationship requires rethinking and retooling everything you knew about relationships and about your preferred gender(s), because you can't treat every relationship the same. You've been married, so you should well remember how much of a radical change it was going from just dating to matrimony is, as well, if I recall correctly, getting married a second time, and seeing how drastically different wife 2 is from what wife 1 was, and how you had to relearn almost everything about married life to readjust to a different person. Is it difficult to have a relationship that goes three ways at all times? Of course. However, the difficulty inherent can just make the end result all the more satisfying. It's like paying off your first car, or a house; you feel a sense of accomplishment because of all the hard work that has gone into stabilizing something that can be difficult to hold onto, especially when times get tougher.

    > Now juggling partners,

    That's not the way we look at it. Looking at it that way is yes, unhealthy. By juggling, you push someone away to bring someone else closer. That's not how these kinds of relationships work. You can't look at it that way, or you've already set yourself up to fail. And your comment about it being like a family is actually closer to the truth than you could know. It's all about the support network, communication, and unconditional love. That's how the support system works. You do see them as family, just as a husband sees his wife as his family. For example, I'm the main leg of emotional support. If one of my partners need to vent, I'm there to lend an ear and help themselves see a side they maybe might not have seen otherwise. I'm always there for a hug. One of my partners is a lot wiser, and he's better at handling the more complicated problems, and knows a lot about money matters. Due to literally decades of military service, he also is the motivator, leading us, all three of us, to better ourselves, for each other. The other partner is largely a communicator, and extroverted, as opposed to myself and the aforementioned partner being introverted. He deals with people a lot better than either of us (me due to certain health problems and brain chemistry issues, and the other partner due to not functioning in normal society for about 30 years), and he is the one who can really prompt deep, emotional conversation. Our strengths cover each other's weaknesses, and it cultivates a support network where there is always someone to help you, no matter what's wrong. That's why we can effectively have a relationship where the first rule is love, and the second is honesty. It really promotes a selflessness in us all.

    > keeping life stories straight (Who is having issues at work that kinda thing).

    As mentioned, the support network is great for being able to handle it as a cohesive unit, instead of trying to balance or juggle it.

    > the eternal niggle of am I the better lover, am I the preferred partner? I'm a fairly open minded guy, but I can see the fail all over this set up. If normal couples cannot make one relationship work, you honestly thing have 2-4 going on simultaneously is going to be easier? Really? This is just cheaters looking for a pass for bad behavior and lack of commitment.

    This is why you can't understand a relationship that is between more than two people: you can't look at it as equal on all sides. There's no better lover, there is no preferred partner. It's not so two-dimensional. There is no grading scale for that kind of love. There's no Mohs Scale of Partner Preference Hardness. You can't see it, just because you're not wired that way, just like how I can't see how a two-person relationship is all that great, because I'm just not dispositioned towards it.

    As far as the sex thing, I am not going to go into heavy detail about my sexual practices between myself and my two partners on a Pokemon forum.

    > The feeling I feel with my ONE partner ..I could never feel anything near to what I feel with him with anyone else.. especially at the same time. Which is why I believe Poly relationships can't possibly be made of true love. Love yes, but actual feeling of being IN love. Not at all. I know I can't speak for everyone because the term true love can be highly disagreed among many. Not everyone believes there's such thing as true love, but I can tell you this, in my own experience.. it can happen to anyone. It might not happen to everyone, but it can be very real if you find that someone who feels the same way.. and if you're able to believe it yourself.

    It's not always black and white. If I would willingly jump in front of a bullet for someone, just because I cannot picture life without them, is that not true love? I know the difference between loving and being in love. I have never stopped loving my exes, even after they betrayed me. I still love them, quite a bit. But it took me awhile to fall out of love with them. I will always have a place for them in my heart, and even on my shoulder, to cry, if need be, but I know I can never be with them again. I know the distinction a million times over, and I can spot it a mile away.

    > Since when does putting effort into something make it less good? Since when does that make something less rewarding? As I said before, plenty of open relationships have been stable and lasted, in part because a couple can be brought closer together by the increased amount of communication and understanding that is required. If you don't like it, don't try it, but don't assume that different = horrible and doomed to fail.

    Basically this.
    Quote Originally Posted by snare View Post
    Roll over ya twinks, we're taking over.
    Quote Originally Posted by mapache View Post
    lol, xD the thread need a name change. The Gay/Lesbian/Bear Alliance Club
    Quote Originally Posted by Slash4life View Post
    Every discussion here ends up at either bears or musical theatre. What is this, the gay club?!


    Oh wait...

  21. #146
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Gone
    Posts
    1,142

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post
    In this day and age? Sorry Joker but that was fitting of your screen name! Think about the context of what you said Please? Cheating has been going on since BEFORE the bible(Zeus was a philandering freak!), it isn't new to this day and age.
    Yeah... That wasn't what I was saying, I have no objection to the fact cheating has been going on for a long time. What I meant by what I said is in this social taboo'd era, a biological program, or primeval instincts, are surpressed by the modern man.

    But for your enjoyment, here is a joke related to the thread:

    Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say: ''It could have been worse.'' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side. So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

    Joe asked: ''Where's Gary?''

    And one of his friends said: ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''

    Joe says: ''Well it could have been worse.''

    Both his friends said: ''How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!''

    Joe says: ''If it had happened two days ago, I would be dead now!"
    The most Superior Snivy. Left, good time here though. I loved this place.

  22. #147
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    Oh. But in this era there are less Taboos than when I was growing up! So your comment is still funny to me. When I was growing up This Was racy!

    So true!

  23. #148

    Default

    I do want to say one thing though; those who say "I'll leave if they cheat on me once"

    ...

    ...

    don't you think your being a little too hard here? Something I've noticed when reading the thread again.
    岩根雅明=♡

  24. #149
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Pittsburgh Pennsylvania
    Posts
    2,010

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    I do want to say one thing though; those who say "I'll leave if they cheat on me once"

    ...

    ...

    don't you think your being a little too hard here? Something I've noticed when reading the thread again.
    No. If a ****s gonna ****, then I don't wanna be with said ****.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kutie Pie View Post
    About 97% of these women posing for pornographic pictures are held at gunpoint, and it can be anywhere. The majority of the time is by force.
    Lulz wat?

    SC: 5414 - 8627 - 7288 Platinum: 2621 - 8560 - 3249

  25. #150
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Sunny California
    Posts
    2,921

    Default

    I agree with Gothitelle on that one - I think I'd give my partner at least that much leeway, especially if they truly do demonstrate that they regret it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Albus Dumbledore
    Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.

    My deviantART
    | Suggested Alternative News: The Juice Rap News and The Corbett Report

Page 6 of 26 FirstFirst ... 234567891016 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •