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Thread: Pokemon: Tyson's Journey!

  1. #26
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    Interesting chapter, would've liked to see tyson with a tyrogue, but oh well. I'm guess there's gonna be a Scraggy vs. Primeape final. But, isn't primeape still ash's and not anthony's, just in training?

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  2. #27
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    Don't forget Scraggy is still a young Pokemon...
    Yeah technically Primeape is Ash's but since he's in training with Anthony he's technically being used by Anthony

  3. #28
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    Chapter 7 [P1 Tournament! The tough Fighting type! {Part 2}]

    After Tyson, Ash and Marion entered the P1 tournament, Tyson and Marion were paired up to battle. Tyson’s Hitmonchan defeated Marion’s Makuhita, and after another battle, Tyson has now to battle Ash.

    “Ok go Scraggy!” said Ash, in an enthusiastic way.

    “Ha we won’t lose to you this time Ash! Go Hitmonchan, give it all!” said Tyson, excited for another battle with his hero.
    “The Semi Finals first battle, between Ash and Tyson will begin! Ash will use the Pokemon from Unova, Scraggy, while Tyson will be using Hitmonchan from Kanto! The winner will move to the finals, and battle the winner of the other Semi Finals! Now, let the battle begin!” said the Ref.

    “Ok Hitmonchan, use Bullet Punch!” said Tyson.

    “Scraggy, pull your pants up as a defense mechanism!” said Ash, confident on Scraggy.

    Hitmonchan’s gloves became silver, and started punching Scraggy very quick, but Scraggy managed to avoid taking damage.

    “Ughh… Oh I know, Hitmonchan, now use Mach Punch with your right hand on Scraggy’s head, and try a Thunder Punch with the left hand on Scraggy’s body!” said Tyson, who remembered Blane’s and Magmortar’s strategy of using two moves at the same time.

    “Scraggy, dodge and use Hi Jump Kick!”

    Hitmonchan used Mach Punch and then tried Thunder Punch, but didn’t manage to, due to him not having great coordination.
    Scraggy still dodged Mach Punch and hit Hitmonchan with Hi Jump Kick. Hitmonchan was hit back against the ropes of the stadium.

    “Hitmonchan, are you okay?” asked Tyson worried.

    “Chann!!” said Hitmonchan confident about turning the battle around.

    “That’s the spirit buddy!” said Tyson, about to tell Hitmonchan what to do, but being interrupted by Ash’s commands.

    “Scraggy, use Leer and then Hi Jump Kick!” said Ash

    Scraggy went in front of Hitmonchan and lowered his defenses, and then jumped up, preparing a Hi Jump Kick. Scraggy then started going down, to hit Hitmonchan.

    “Hitmonchan, use Thunder Punch on the air!” said Tyson, smiling.

    Hitmonchan used Thunder Punch on the air right before Scraggy went near him, and got hit by the sparks the Thunder Punch left. Scraggy then fell and got damaged.

    “Let’s finish this, Hitmonchan use Bullet Punch!” said Tyson, confident in the battle.

    Hitmonchan’s gloves became silver and started punching Scraggy a couple of times.

    “Now! Mach Punch!!”

    Hitmonchan used Mach Punch as his final hit, which knocked out Scraggy.

    “Folks, there we have it! The first finalist is Tyson, and his Hitmonchan!!” said the announcer of the P1 tournament.

    “You did great Scraggy! Return, you deserve a good rest buddy!” said Ash, as he returned Scraggy.

    “Yes!! Come here Hitmonchan!!” said Tyson, as he high fived his Pokemon, and then hugged him.

    After the battle, Ash and Tyson went inside the participants’ room and watched the other semi final.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Ok finish it Mienshao!!” said one of the semi-finalists, as his Mienshao defeated the opponent’s Machoke.

    “Folks, the other finalist is Lois and her Mienshao!!”
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    “Well, I have to go, time for the finals Ash!” said Tyson, looking forward for his match.

    “Ok good luck Tyson! Win this for me and Scraggy okay?” said Ash smiling.

    Tyson walked to the stadium with his Hitmonchan by his side and waved at the people. He noticed Marion was there watching. Then, he saw Lois walk to the stadium with her Mienshao. They both entered the Ring and Tyson wanted to shake her hand, but Lois was arrogant and ignored him. Mienshao though, said hi to Hitmonchan and Tyson.

    “The finals of the P1 tournament of 2012 are about to begin! Our two finalists are two new participants, so it’s very surprising they’re both in the finals!! Rules are the same! Tyson from Cinnabar Island and his Hitmonchan are going up against Lois from Mistralton City in Unova and her Mienshao! Let the battle begin!” said the announcer.

    “Ok let the battle begin!” said the Ref.

    “Alright Mienshao, use Bounce!” said Lois, when Mienshao jumped high to some bars on the ceiling.

    “Ok be careful Hitmonchan! Look up and prepare yourself! When you see Mienshao close to you, use Thunder Punch on the air!” said Tyson, thinking of his strategy against Scraggy.

    Mienshao then came down. Hitmonchan was starting to use Thunder Punch.

    “Mienshao use Acrobatics now!” said Lois.

    As Mienshao was going down, he started moving very fast all over the place, and then hit Hitmonchan hard. Hitmonchan was knocked down.

    “Hitmonchan?! Are you ok??” asked Tyson.

    “Hitt… Monchan!!” said Hitmonchan, hurt but still able to battle.

    “Ok, now use Thunder Punch, while Mienshao is close!” said Tyson.

    Hitmonchan used a quick Thunder Punch, hitting Mienshao hard against the ropes of the ring.

    “Mienshao, use Aura Sphere!!” said Lois.

    “Hitmonchan hit it back with Mach Punch!” said Tyson.

    Mienshao used Aura Sphere but it got destroyed by Mach Punch.

    “Now use Bullet Punch!!” said Tyson while Hitmonchan hit Mienshao hard.

    “Mienshao, can you continue??” asked Lois.

    Mienshao said yes, and Lois started grinning.

    “Mienshao, use… Reversal!” said Lois.

    Since Mienshao was starting to be very tired, it grabbed Hitmonchan, jumped and threw it down again. Hitmonchan was very tired and damaged.

    “Hitmonchan!! Are you alright?” asked Tyson, worried.

    “Hitmonchan!!” said Hitmonchan still up for the battle.

    “Ok let’s try again, Thunder Punch and Mach Punch combo!!” said Tyson

    Hitmonchan ran to Mienshao, but still didn’t manage to use both moves. He still managed to hit with Thunder Punch. It did some damage and left Mienshao paralyzed.

    “Mienshao no!!” said Lois “Use Bounce, let’s finish this!”

    Mienshao couldn’t move though, and Hitmonchan used Bullet Punch last, defeating Mienshao.

    “And the winner is… Tyson and Hitmonchan!!” screamed the announcer.

    “YES WE DID IT BUDDY!! HIGH FIVE!” said Tyson, high fiving Hitmonchan.

    “You’re good!” Lois went up to Tyson and shook his hand.

    “Thanks, your Mienshao was great too!” said Tyson.

    “Hey just cuz you won doesn’t mean you’re still as good as me… I have five badges… and you have no badges!” said Lois, grinning and laughing in an evil way.

    “Whatever you say Lois…” replied Tyson, happy for winning.

    After the battle, Tyson received the prize, and received a Macho Brace. He gave it to Hitmonchan, who was very happy.

    “Stay in your seats folks, the last battle is gonna go down now! Tyson against the champion of the P1 tournament, Anthony will happen in twenty minutes! Don’t miss it!”

    Tyson and Lois went back to the participants’ room and Ash congratulated both. Ash said that Lois’s strategy was good but Hitmonchan was simply stronger.

    “Hey Lois where did you get your badges??” asked Tyson.

    “These are from Fuchsia, Celadon, Cerulean, Pewter and Viridian. I don’t have badges from Unova yet though, since I had to move when I was eight. Before, my best friend gave me a Pokemon egg from his parents and it hatched into a Mienfoo… And now it’s a Mienshao…” said Lois.

    “That’s really cool! I hope I visit Unova someday…” said Tyson.

    “You could come with me later and go to the Unova’s Pokemon league!!” said Lois excited for the idea.

    “That’s a great idea! Hey why don’t you come with us??” asked Tyson to her.

    “Hey just because I told you about going to Unova doesn’t mean we’re still friends, I was just excited for going back to Unova, that’s all!”

    “Oh cmon Lois, it’s more fun to travel with more people…” said Ash.

    “Ha fine, I’ll go with you guys…” said Lois, convinced.

    “Ladies and Gentleman, get ready to watch the final showdown, Primeape VS Hitmonchan!!” said the announcer.

    Tyson and Anthony were both on the ring, and had their Pokemon.

    “Let the battle begin!!” said the Ref.

    “Ok Primeape… use Focus Blast!”

    “Hitmonchan defend with Mach Punch!”

    Primeape used Focus Blast, and Hitmonchan tried to defend himself with Mach Punch, but Focus Blast was too powerful, knocking Hitmonchan back.

    “Hitmonchan try to use Bullet Punch!”

    Hitmonchan used Bullet Punch and hit Primeape, but it did no damage.

    “Primeape, use Giga Impact!!”

    Primeape used Giga Impact, and ended up knocking out Hitmonchan.

    “Well there you go folks, the legendary Anthony defeated Tyson in two moves! Not the first time we’ve seen this happen though!”

    Tyson and Anthony shook eachother’s hands and Ash also shook Anthony’s hand. They all ended up leaving the stadium and went to a hotel next to the stadium where everyone that worked there slept there, including Anthony. They had dinner there and slept there too. During the rest of that day, Ash and Primeape had some training sessions to spend some time again, while Tyson trained Snorunt against Mienshao. The next day, they left to Viridian City.

    [End of Chapter 7]

  4. #29
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    Can someone give me feedback on the battles I did in these two last chapters? Cuz the next one is the gym battle and I wanna make a good gym battle

  5. #30
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    I liked how you described the attacks, you did use a lot of similar description (like tired for both Mienshao and Hitmonchan, you could have said things like they were gasping or sweating) and I think you could have also used more description, but the description you did have was good. I find it a bit odd that Tyson won his first tournament against Ash and Lois (both have Gym badges and thus have trained for a while, he doesn't and has only been training for a couple of weeks, so they would have more experience and stronger Pokemon) with a newly caught Pokemon. Winning things too easily when logically they should lose or at least struggle to win is a sign of a character being a Mary Sue - a character that is perfect and has unreasonable things happen to them just because the author wants it. I'm not saying Tyson appears to be a Mary Sue character right now for me (it is one battle), but that you might want to balance him out a bit. He shouldn't win all of the time, especially against experienced trainers.

    I also have a bit of a preference for a battle that could show the Pokemon's personalities. Right now, you write in a simplistic 'Pokemon attacked, this is what happened' style. There are two things that I am going to recommend. First, you can describe battles more, such as the effect on the environment and how the Pokemon are affected more deeply (like 'struggling to stand, gasping for air' instead of just tired) in order to make them more tense. Secondly, the Pokemon's personal reactions could be showed off. A shy Pokemon could cower from a tough looking opponent, a tough Pokemon could attack before it gives orders, a brave Pokemon could keep getting up even when it is exhausted. This could also make it more interesting - remember, Poemon aren't machines, they are alive and so have their own thoughts and feelings. I think your trainers could have a bit more personality as well, which could be shown through their actions (what they like doing or choose to do) as well as how they act towards others.

    Here's my advice. I do quite like the way you write battles, I just thought I'd give you some things to think about.

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  6. #31
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    Thank you very much, that's exactly the kind of feedback I needed at the moment
    I made Tyson win because he had lost the two other battles and I wanted to show some progress. I think it's reasonable that Hitmonchan beat Scraggy though, since Scraggy really isn't that strong. Against Lois, I had two ideas : Lois wins because Tyson was over confident or vice versa, and the latter appealed to me more. But don't worry Tyson will not be the perfect trainer he's gonna lose often at the beginning.
    I will definitely try to improve the battle interactions, describe in more detail and give personalities!!
    Thank you very much!!

  7. #32
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    Chapter 8 [Viridian Gym Battle! Hitmonchan & Snorunt VS Dugtrio & Nidoking!]

    After Tyson defeated Lois in the finals of the P1 Tournament, and Lois joined the group, they all set off for Viridian City.

    “Look guys there it is!!” said Tyson in an excited way “Let’s go to the gym right now!”.

    “Wait can we stop by the Pokemon Center? I’m very hungry right now…” asked Lois, when suddenly her stomach did the annoying sound that announces hunger.

    “Ahhh c’mon Lois!! Just because you’ve won the badge doesn’t mean I can’t… Arghh” said Tyson, annoyed at Lois.

    As Tyson said this, Tyson’s face and Lois’s face went against each other, in a rivalry way.

    “C’mon guys don’t fight! Let’s go to the center, I’m also hungry…” said Ash

    “Pika Pi!!” said Pikachu, trying to separate Tyson and Lois.

    Tyson, Ash and Lois then walked to the Pokemon Center. When they arrived, they asked Nurse Joy if she could do a usual check up for all the Pokemon. Nurse Joy took the Pokemon, and they went to sit down.

    “So who has food..?” asked Lois, with an annoyed face at Tyson.

    “Ash has it. He has sandwiches from some days ago.” said Tyson, day-dreaming for some food.

    “Uhh no I thought you had them Tyson…” said Ash with a suspicious voice.

    “Oh noo!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh” said Lois, raging on Tyson “It’s all your fault you little-“

    “Your Pokemon are fine, here they are” said Nurse Joy with the usual happy voice.

    As Nurse Joy said this, Tyson and Lois took their Pokeballs and called on their Pokemon. Out came Snorunt, Hitmonchan, Mienshao, and three new Pokemon Lois had. A Munchlax, a Kadabra and a Murkrow.

    “Woah those are some cool Pokemon! Where did you get them?

    “I got them throughout my journey here… Munchlax was the last one I caught though.”

    “Hey look, Hitmonchan and Mienshao are already good friends!” said Tyson happy to see Hitmonchan talk to Mienshao.

    Hitmonchan then asked if he could have a battle with Mienshao. Both trainers said yes and ran outside, while Ash decided to go get some sandwiches.

    “Ok let’s do this! Hitmonchan start with Thunder Punch!”

    “Hit! Chan Chan!!” said Hitmonchan excited for another battle, as Hitmonchan loved battling.

    Hitmonchan jumped high up, and as he went down he used Thunder Punch, hitting Mienshao hard. Both Pokemon then smirked, and got ready for more.

    “Mienshao, use Aura Sphere!”

    Mienshao put his arms up, and a blue light ball started appearing. Mienshao did an evil yet friendly look, and released the Aura Sphere against Hitmonchan. Hitmonchan tried to destroy the move with a punching move, but the Sphere was more powerful, knocking Hitmonchan back.

    “Hitmonchan, are you okay??” asked Tyson, worried about his friend.

    “Hitmonchan! Chann chan!” said Hitmonchan, ready for more.

    “Wait we should stop now, you have a gym battle to do, let’s not get Hitmonchan tired.” said Lois, surprised Tyson hadn’t gone to the gym yet.

    “The gym… OH RIGHT THE GYM!! I have to go Lois, byee!!” said Tyson, returning Snorunt and Hitmonchan.

    “Wait Tyson lemme go with you!” said Lois, running after Tyson, but stopping. She wrote a note and gave it to Nurse Joy, and then ran after Tyson. Even though she couldn’t see Tyson, she knew where the gym was.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    As Tyson opened the door, he screamed “Hello?”. The building was big, and Tyson heard the word “Hello” again, due to the echo. He then got a reply from a manly voice, probably no more than 20 years old. It was the gym leader from Viridian City.
    “My name is Tyson, and I’m from Cinnabar Island! I want to battle with you!”

    “Well hello, my name is Blue. I’m the leader of the Viridian Gym! I specialize in Ground type Pokemon, if you couldn’t see from the field.”

    Tyson then looked at the field, and saw how it had a rocky texture and many holes, probably due to all the Dig moves.

    “Ground types huh? That’s awesome! C’mon let’s battle!!” said Tyson, even more excited for the match now.

    “Sure! It’s a 3 on 3!” said Blue, looking forward for a good match.

    “Uhh 3..? I only have two Pokemon…” said Tyson, feeling ashamed for it.

    “Two Pokemon..? Well then let’s have a double battle, why not.” Said Blue, since he still wanted a battle.

    “Awesome! Let’s get at it!”

    As Tyson and Blue got ready for the match, Lois entered the gym quietly. She tried to remain unseen.

    “This will be a double battle. The challenger Tyson has the right for the first move! Let the battle begin!”

    “Alright, go Himonchan! Go Snorunt!” said Tyson, as both his Pokemon came out. Hitmonchan started punching the air to warm up while Snorunt looked at him.

    “Go Dugtrio, go Nidoking! Win this for me!” said Blue, in a calm voice.

    Nidoking and Hitmonchan looked at each other, and grinned.

    “Ok Snorunt hit both of them with Blizzard, while Hitmonchan, you can use Bullet Punch on Nidoking!”

    Hitmonchan ran to Nidoking and hit with many quick punches, while Snorunt used Blizzard. Due to lack of coordination, Blizzard ended up hitting Hitmonchan though, who got frozen.

    “Wait what the?? Snorunt you weren’t supposed to hit Hitmonchan!” said Tyson.

    “Runt??” said Snorunt worried for Hitmonchan

    “Oh God, this will be fun…” said Lois to herself.

    Blue smirked, and told Dugtrio to use Earthquake, while Nidoking jumped to avoid the move.

    “Watch out Snorunt, use Protect!!”

    “Snorunt!” said Snorunt, who jumped in front Hitmonchan who was still frozen, to try and protect him from any harm.

    “Nidoking, Earth Power, now!” said Blue “The way I play with the ground is great don’t you think, Tyson? said Blue being sarcastic.

    Snorunt’s Protect worked at the beginning but after a while all the rocks from the moves broke it, and hit Snorunt hard. They also destroyed the ice around Hitmonchan.

    “Hitmonchan!! Hit!! Monchan!!” argued Hitmonchan with Snorunt for freezing him.

    “Snoww….” said Snorunt as an apology, but he was also afraid of Hitmonchan being mad.

    “Guys come on, pull it together!” said Tyson, as Blue gave commands to his Pokemon.

    “Ok, Dugtrio use Night Slash, and Nidoking use Trash!”

    Dugtrio targeted Hitmonchan with his move and he was moving quickly to him, when Hitmonchan was still arguing with
    Snorunt. As Dugtio came very close to Hitmonchan, Hitmonchan simply punched it away like nothing. Then Nidoking appeared from behind and was about to use Trash on Hitmonchan, but Snorunt managed to use Blizzard, throwing Nidoking against the wall.

    “Chan? Hitmonchan chan!” said Hitmonchan to Snorunt with a happy voice, and then lifted his thumb to Snorunt.

    “Sno? Runt Snorunt!” said Snorunt happy for them finally starting to work well.

    “Ok guys, let’s do it! Hitmonchan, use Mach Punch on Nidoking, and Snorunt use Blizzard on Dugtrio!”

    “Runt/Chan!” said both his Pokemon at the same time.

    “Nidoking, use Trash when Hitmonchan approaches you!”

    Hitmonchan and Nidoking went next to each other, and both started using many physical moves on each other. Hitmonchan used plenty of Mach Punches and Bullet Punches, while Nidoking kept using Trash and punching/kicking Hitmonchan.

    “Hitmonchan, get him, your better!” said Tyson trying to get Hitmonchan more confident and therefore stronger.

    “No way, Nidoking get him!” said Blue who was finally interested in the match.

    Both Pokemon kept hitting each other. Then both of them moved back and stopped. They both smirked and winked. Nidoking fell on the floor and was unable to battle. Right after that, Hitmonchan fell too.

    “Return Hitmonchan! You were great buddy, you helped a lot!” said Tyson.

    “Nidoking you were fantastic, come back!” said Blue “Now it’s a one on one huh… hmm”

    “Ok Snorunt, use Bite!”

    “Dugtrio use Dig!”

    Snorunt tried to bite Dugtrio, but ended up hitting the floor. Lois started laughing when that happened, and Tyson noticed her. He tried to ignore her so he wouldn’t get distracted.

    “Snorunt, watch out!” said Tyson, trying to hear where Dugtrio was, but failing.

    Dugtrio came out and hit Snorunt hard from under him, throwing Snorunt up, who then fell.

    “Snorunt can you continue??” asked Tyson

    “Sno… Runt Snorunt!” said Snorunt, trying his best for Tyson.

    “Ok then use Blizzard!”

    Snorunt blew a lot of snow against Dugtrio and managed to deal some damage. Dugtrio then used Sandstorm.

    “Humph… Dugtrio use Earthquake!”

    “Snorunt use Protect and then Bite!” said Tyson, hoping to get the final hit.

    Snorunt managed to avoid the Earthquake, and then jumped on to Dugtrio. Snorunt missed Dugtrio though, and both him and Tyson were surprised.

    “Dugtrio’s ability is Sand Veil, Tyson. It raises its evasion in a Sandstorm.” Said Blue.

    “Ok then use Blizzard!”

    “Use Earthquake!”

    Both attacks collided, but Blizzard managed to blow the rocks from the Earthquake back, hitting Dugtrio. A big dust of cloud appeared, and when it faded, Dugtrio was unable to battle.

    “Huh… we… we won!!” screamed Tyson.

    “Congratulations Tyson. You managed to beat me. Is this your first gym badge?” asked Blue.

    “Yes so it means a lot to me!” said Tyson happy.

    “Well here you have it, your first badge!” said Blue as he gave Tyson his badge.

    “Thank you a lot!” said Tyson happy.

    “You were great Tyson!”

    “No, it was all thanks to Snorunt!” said Tyson, as he walked up to Snorunt and thanked him.

    Tyson returned Snorunt, and left the gym wth Lois.

    “Congrats Tyson, you actually won!” said Lois, mocking him.

    “Oh shut up!” said Tyson laughing.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    “Uhh… where’s everybody??” asked Ash as he walked in the Pokemon Center with six sandwiches.

    [End of chapter 8]

  8. #33
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    Any feedback on the gym battle? xD

  9. #34
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    I'm confused as to why ash is traveling with him, he has already traveled kanto twice, is he really doing it a third?

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  10. #35
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    Some chapters ago he said he would go with Tyson until the Viridian forest, which is what will happen next time, a chapter for Ash now

  11. #36
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    Chapter 9 [ Neo Team Rocket VS Ash & Pidgeot!]
    After Tyson earned his first gym, they all set off to the Viridian Forest, to go see Ash’s old friend. They made sure they brought sandwiches this time though, just in case. They left Viridian City quickly and headed into a house, with a dark green sign, saying “Viridian Forest, house for the bug types!”. As they entered the house, the door made a creepy sound, and closed on itself.

    “Woah what was that?!” asked Lois scared but yet interested in the mystery around the door “It’s time for Lois to solve another mystery guys, come with me!”.

    “Uh? What’s gotten into her..?” asked Tyson to Ash, when the latter simply let out a giggle.

    The house was dark, but smelled the way cleaned floors smell like. It smelled like detergent. Suddenly, they heard a noise coming from the other side of the room. Detective Lois went up to it to check, and suddenly an old person jumped.

    “BUH! Hahahahah!” said the old man laughing his head off.

    Lois was on the floor, and it seemed like she had had a heart attack.

    “Oh don’t mind an old man, he’s just trying to have fun…” said the old man again.

    “Uhmm okay then… Hello, my name is Tyson, this is Ash and that’s Lois… Well if she is still alive that is…” said Tyson, smiling but being creeped out inside by the old man.

    “Well what are you guys up to? Stealing Pokemon from an old man? Oh God, the generation of today is too sneaky I tell ya…”

    “What, no? We just want to get past…” said Tyson starting to think the old guy might be a pedophile.

    “Oh I apologize then… I thought you wanted to steal my Staraptor and my Ampharos… You can come out guys…” said the old guy, in a weak but relieved voice, as a Staraptor and an Ampharos came out from behind the desk in the house “You see, some weird guys came to this house when I was asleep. I woke up due to all their noise… And I heard them talk about stealing these flying types of the Viridian Forest…”

    “FLYING TYPES?! Tell me all you know!” said Ash enraged about the thoughts of Pidgeot being attacked at the moment.

    “Well that’s really all I know young fella…” said the old guy.

    As he said this, Ash stormed out of the house to the forest going after the guys that said that. Tyson and Lois went after him, but ended up losing his track. They decided to make a bonfire and cook some food, but ended up realizing Ash had the food.

    “Damnit not again!!! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT YOU LITTLE-!” said Lois, before being interrupted by someone.

    “Hey you two! What are you doing here?!” asked a creepy guy, about 20 years old. He was dressed in a Purple uniform with Purple pants, a black “R” in the middle of the shirt and on the side of the pants. He also had a triangular hat with, yet again another black “R” on it.

    “Uh, who are you..?” asked Lois and Tyson in unison.

    “I am Deivid, Mr Deivid for you two noobs! You either leave the forest or you’ll be in a lot of trouble, noobs…”

    “Oh really? Well if you want a fight, you’ll get one! Go Snorunt, go Hitmonchan!” said Tyson, looking forward for another match.

    “Sno… Snorunt Runt!” said Snorunt looking mad at Deivid.

    “Humph, it’s your decision…” said Deivid as he spat on the floor “Go Houndoom! Use Nasty Plot…”

    “Nasty Plot? Hahahaha you gotta be kidding me, Snorunt use Bite!”

    Houndoom started thinking of terrible things and then dodged Snorunt’s bite.

    “Sno?” said Snorunt, annoyed for missing.

    “Houndoom, use Inferno!”

    Houndoom did a very evil look at the Pokemon and then used Inferno, automatically OHKO’ing both his Pokemon.

    “Humph… Easy. Hey you girl, your next!”

    “I don’t think so, come out here Munchlax!”

    Munchlax came out, yawned loudly and sat down. Lois tried to get him up, but there was no chance.

    “Argh… Come back… Go Murkrow!”

    “Murkrow!!!” said Murkrow looking confident for being used in a battle.

    “Use Aerial Ace and then use Shadow Ball!”

    Murkrow started flying quickly and then disappeared, and appeared behind Houndoom hitting him, and then it used a quick Shadow Ball. Houndoom then used Flamethrower, but Murkrow dodged it, and used Sucker Punch, defeating Houndoom. Deivid then ran away.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Pidgeot, are you there??!” yelled Ash to the air, looking for his old Pokemon.

    “Pikaa Piiii!” helped Pikachu.

    Then, a big shadow appeared over Ash and Pikachu, who looked up and saw a Fearow.

    “Huh, you’re… you are that Fearow!” yelled Ash, turning his hat ready for another battle.

    “Fearow Fearow!” said Fearow, worried for some reason.

    “Pika pi?” asked Pikachu, trying to understand what he was saying.

    “Fear fearow Fearow! ROWW ROWW! Feaaaaaaarowww!”

    Pikachu then told Ash what happened.

    “You mean Pidgeot was captured by these weird looking men? Oh that’s it, c’mon Pikachu! Oh wait, Fearow thank you so much for that information.”

    Pikachu and Ash ran off looking for Pidgeot and got followed by Fearow. Ash noticed this and as he was running he asked since when Fearow cared about Pidgeot. Fearow said that they had to work together to get the weird grunt to leave the forest but Pidgeot ended up being captured.

    “A’ right, you wanna help us then. That’s cool thanks Fearow!”

    Ash, Pikachu and Fearow ran for about 5 mns, and they got to this bigger tree. They hid behind some bushes and saw a helicopter about to take off, and more weird grunts with purple outfits and black “R’s”. He noticed a bunch of Pidgeotto’s and Pidgey’s and even Spearow’s in a big net behind, and then noticed his Pidgeot in a bigger sack going inside the helicopter. Ash flipped out and ran to the helicopter, pushing some grunts away. As he jumped to the net and released all the bird Pokemon, the helicopter went on and started flying up. Many of the bird Pokemon just flew away, but some of them stayed behind trying to attack some of the grunts, as revenge.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Huh what’s that sound Lois?” asked Tyson to her female companion, after hearing some bird sounds coming from somewhere.

    “Is that a flock of… Spearow?! asked Lois.

    “Yes… I have a feeling it’s because of that Deivid guy… and I have a feeling Ash is involved in this… let’s go Lois!” said Tyson, as he ran to the direction that the Spearow came from.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    “Hey kid, come down now!” screamed a man that looked much more formal than the others. Apart from that, he had a suitcase with a Black “R” and had thick glasses that allowed him to see through walls, although all he would see is the shape of the body with a pink-purple color. The man had short hair with gel on the front, and had a muscled body.

    The helicopter was still in the air, not moving due to Ash.

    “No way, Pikachu use Thunder on the grunts down there!” commanded Ash, still very mad “Who are you guys anyways?!”

    “My name is Jont, and I’m the leader of a new organization in Kanto, the Neo Team Rocket. The old Team Rocket got destroyed some years ago, but some of the leaders after Giovanni decided to bring back Team Rocket, and created the strongest, Neo Team Rocket.” said the guy with the think glasses.

    “Team Rocket again huh? I’ve defeated too many of you guys already, and this time it won’t be different!” said Ash, as Pikachu kept attacking the several Pokemon being sent out by the other grunts.

    As Jont and Ash had a talk, Tyson and Lois finally arrived at the tree and saw Ash in trouble. Fearow was still hiding, but decided to go help Ash, and flew to him. Ash jumped on Fearow and broke the mirrors of the helicopter and tried to destroy it, although it didn’t work.

    “It’s made of metal little kid… Simple physical attacks won’t do anything… now. Go, Cacturne, Go Drapion!” said Jont.

    “Hey that’s no fair game, come out Hitmonchan and Snorunt!” said Tyson angered at all the guys.

    “Yes, you too Murkrow, Kadabra, Mienshao and Munchlax!”

    Fearow flew down to Tyson and Lois, and they came up with a quick strategy while the other Pokemon fought. Ash would go save his Pokemon, and Tyson and Lois would fight the Neo grunts.

    “Ok Hitmonchan, Snorunt, use Blizzard and Thunder Punch!”

    “Murkrow, use Dark Pulse, Kadabra use Psychic and Future Sight, Mienshao use Aura Sphere, Munchlax use… uh nevermind, return Munchlax…” said Lois, feeling ashamed of Munchlax.

    With these attacks, many of the Pokemon being used by the grunts, like Golbat’s and Umbreon’s were defeated.

    “Huh those noobs again huh? This will be interesting…” said Deivid “Houndoom use Inferno and Flamethrower!”

    Houndoom used these moves and ended up knocking out Snorunt and Murkrow. Kadabra’s future sight happened after this, and it made a huge hole on the ground and many of the other Pokemon were defeated too. As this battle was going on, Ash and Fearow went up to the helicopter and went in it. Ash got the sack where Pidgeot was stuck in and saved it.

    “Pidgeot! Long time no see buddy!!!! How are you??”

    “Pidg!! Pidgeott!”

    “That’s great! Ok Pidgeot, we gotta defeat those guys out there that stole you, you up for it?”

    “Pidgeott!” said Pidgeot ready.

    Pidgeot and Fearow and Ash went down to the floor and used a bunch of flying type moves, defeating Jont’s Pokemon, together with the other Pokemon’s moves.

    “Humph, let’s go everybody we’ve gotten enough information already!” said Jont, as he jumped in the helicopter and it flew away.

    “My glasses got enough information about the flying type’s screeches and we have enough vocal power from them, it’s enough.” said Jont.

    “What will we do next?” asked Deivid.

    “We shall explore the Mt Moon, I heard about several Clefairy that live there…”

    The helicopter flew far away then, and Ash, Tyson, Lois, Pikachu, Pidgeot and Fearow stayed back.

    “Ah that was so dangerous. Good we defeated them. Hey Pidgeot, since you and Fearow work well together now, you could come with me again, what do you say?” asked Ash.

    “Pidgeott!” said Pidgeot happy for the request.

    “Well, Tyson and Lois, I guess this is good bye… So long, good luck on your journeys, I’m going back to Pallet Town now.
    Pidgeot, can you fly me there?”

    “Pidgeott!”

    “So long guys!”

    Ash got on Pidgeot and started flying away, but Fearow followed him. Ash realized Fearow wanted to be captured by Ash and let him join his team, making his team stronger.

    “Well that’s it… Well Lois, shall we continue?”

    “Yeah… wait I’m hungry… DAMNIT ASH HAS THE SANDWICHES! ARGHHH”
    [End of chapter 9]
    Last edited by TheSirPeras; 9th September 2012 at 11:55 PM.

  12. #37
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    I like the chapter, I do, but I think you should work on the Neo Team Rocket guys personality, he seems like one of the most interesting characters and you should start to make him even more interesting, I loved the reference to the first ever episode, it was nice ya know. I was hoping that ash leaving was going to be more dramatic, like Tyson loves him!? But yea, I love team rocket being back, 10 years later going strong!
    For everyone who likes stories you can read my first ever fan-fic here!


    ]

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    Thank you
    I will improve their personalities next time they appear thanks for the advice
    About Ash's good bye, Im really not that great at creating great sad moments, but one thing I'll tell you, Ash will be back, not sure when though

  14. #39
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    I got a spoilerish signature guys, why don't you check it out? It has some future Pokemon Tyson will have

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    Hey guys sorry I havent been able to updatte, I was one week away without internet. Tomorrow a new chapter will be up, hopefully

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    Chapter 10 [The helpless Bug!]

    “Alright Snorunt, use Blizzard!” commanded Tyson, who then saw his little Ice Pokemon blow a huge snowstorm to the opponent.

    “No way, Munchlax dodge it!” instructed Lois, although Munchlax just stayed in the same place “Munchlax be careful!” yelled Lois.

    As the Snowstorm reached Munchlax, his body glew a brown-ish yellow and Munchlax took much less damage then it should have.

    “Huh? What happened?” asked Lois and Tyson in unison.

    “Laaaax” yawned Munchlax, who quickly went to sleep after that.

    Tyson, Lois and Snorunt sat around Munchlax and discussed possible reasons to why it happened; they then heard a voice behind them.

    “Munchlax has the ability Thick Fat!” said ???.

    Tyson and Lois turned around and Tyson saw his friend Marion.

    “Marion!”

    “That Munchlax must have the Thick Fat ability! It raises the resistance against Ice and Fire types! I’m surprised you didn’t know this Tyson.” said Marion, acting a bit cocky.

    “I studied about Pokemon, not abilities!!” said Tyson a bit louder than usual.

    “Who’s the spoiled little brat?” asked Lois to Tyson.

    “That’s Marion, we’ve known each other since kids…” said Tyson, who then heard a sound coming from some bushes “Hey
    guys… watch out…”.

    Tyson and Lois started staring at the bushes and then a shadow appeared. It was a Yanma!

    “Oh… it’s just a Yanma…” said Tyson.

    “Yann… Yanmaaa” said Yanma, who then went next to Marion.

    “Is that Yanma yours?” asked Tyson, intrigued about the Yanma.

    They all sat down and Marion explained about the Yanma. He said that deep into the forest there was an old couple that had a couple of Pokemon who were trained to help trainers in the forest. He said there was a Pidgeotto, a Xatu, a Nuzleaf and a couple of others.

    “Huh I see… well that could certainly be helpful!”

    “Yeah! But this Yanma really isn’t the best fighter so if you get in a fight with a wild Pokemon, you will have to use a different Pokemon…” said Marion, feeling bad for Yanma.

    “No way, that Yanma looks powerful! Let’s battle Marion!” said Tyson wanting to proof that Yanma is strong.

    “Alright, let’s do this! Yanma ready for a battle?”

    “Yan? Maa…” said Yanma looking worried.

    “Alright, go Snorunt!”

    Snorunt smiled to Yanma, and the latter frowned. Snorunt noticed this.

    “Snorunt use Blizzard!”

    “Yanma dodge it!”

    Snorunt used a very weak Blizzard attack, but it was enough to knock out Yanma.

    “Huh?!” said both Tyson and Lois, surprised for the ridiculously weak Blizzard being enough to defeat a Yanma.

    “Runtt…” said Snorunt worried about the bug Pokemon.

    Yanma then got up and “sat” on the floor, looking very sad. Munchlax woke up and went to talk to Yanma together with Snorunt. They all decided to prepare lunch, and after lunch they’d help Yanma.

    “Xo… Tix buxnesx txo hulp pople… wherrre ix it xiteted?” asked Tyson to Marion, while he was eating a sandwich.

    “…What? Speak human language Tyson…” said Lois, messing with Tyson like usual.

    Tyson swallowed all the bread and cheese and bacon and ham and butter and tomato and lettuce and everything else there was in his sandwich, and then asked again. “Where is Yanma’s business situated?”

    “Well there is a house somewhere close to the house at the beginning of the forest, and there’s one at the very end, or next to Pewter City. There’s also one house in the middle of the forest in case you or your Pokemon get sick, that’s what the old couple told Me.” said Marion.

    “Alright, let’s look for the house in the middle of the forest to stop and help Yanma!” said Tyson, excited for the upcoming training with Yanma.

    “Ok we shall! By the way Tyson, how many badges do you have?” asked Marion.

    “I have this badge! It’s the earth badge, and I earned it in a double battle against Nidoking and Dugtrio that Blue from Viridian City had. How about you?”

    “I don’t have any yet. I challenged Blue a couple of days ago and lost, and he told me that maybe with some more training I’ll be able to beat him, so I came here to train!”

    “Oh so I have more than you… hehehe…” grinned Tyson.

    They then looked at Munchlax, Snorunt and Yanma have fun together, and realized Yanma was starting to feel more comfortable around everyone.

    “Alright, Munchlax, Snorunt return!” said Tyson and Lois respectively. The Pokemon refused to go back however. “Ok then let’s go!”

    As they were going, Munchlax decided to take his Pokeball and go back inside due to him being a fat and lazy Pokemon. They wandered around and found the cabin, but nobody was inside. There was a note on the bed though, saying that the person there was off to visit his/her sister next to Pewter City due to lack of healing items.

    “Alright, well that won’t stop our training… Come out here guys!”

    Everyone called their Pokemon, and Tyson’s Hitmonchan, Lois’ Munchlax, Kadabra, Murkrow, Mienshao’s and Marion’s Makuhita, Wartortle and Graveler came out.

    “Uh you have a Wartortle! When did it evolve?”

    “ It evolved a bit before I saw you guys! Boy, Lois you have a lot of Pokemon! Do you collect badges?”

    “Yes, I have five right now.”

    ”Alright, then let’s battle! Yanma vs whoever you want!” demanded Marion.

    “No wait, let me try to battle with Yanma! I wanna see if I can bond with him!” said Tyson.

    “Hey no I want to battle!”

    “Pleasee Marion let ME try!” begged Tyson.

    --------------------------------------------------Some minutes later---------------------------------------------------------------

    “Alright I’ll use Munchlax because he will definitely go easy on Yanma.” said Lois.

    “Ok, Yanma you ready?!” asked Tyson, trying to act like a coach to Yanma.

    “Yan…”

    “C’mon Yanma you can do this! I believe in you!”

    “Yan… MA! Yanma!” said Yanma, finally confident.

    “Alright! What moves do you know?” asked Tyson, finally feeling like a team with Yanma.

    “Yannnma!” screamed Yanma who then used Wing Attack and Sonicboom.

    “Ok so you know Wing Attack… and Sonicboom! That’s awesome Yanma! Use Sonicboom!”

    “Munchlax, use Body Slam!”

    This time Munchlax actually moved, but only due to wanting to help his friend Yanma. Munchlax destroyed the Sonicboom attack, almost too easily after.

    “Yan…” said Yanma, getting depressed again.


    “Hey don’t worry buddy! You did good progress here! Use Wing Attack!”

    “Munchlax, let Yanma come. Give him a chance to attack.” said Lois.

    “Laax.”

    Yanma approached and managed to hit Munchlax, but got knocked back easily. Yanma then sat on the floor and got depressed again.

    “Hey Yanma? How about we spend the night here, and have some special training, you and I?” asked Tyson, feeling sad but wanting to help the bug Pokemon.

    Tyson and Yanma spent the day doing the usual Ask Ketchum training, climbing, doing push ups, having rocks attached to the waist etc. They practiced Yanma’s moves and Yanma seemed to be trying new moves, but none of them really worked. In the end of the day, both of them were very tired, so they had dinner and went to sleep.

    “Wake up Tyson!” said Lois.

    “Huh what what happened?!” said Tyson not really knowing what he was saying though. He then noticed an old lady with gray hair and old hair. She had a basket with several Berries

    “Hello, you must be Tyson! My name is Kristen. I’m the lady that lives here and left yesterday. Lois and Marion told me everything and I must say I am very grateful that you are helping Yanma. You see, Yanma showed up two years ago, it was still a baby. Since I am old I haven’t been able to train her so she’s quite afraid of battling.” explained Kristen.

    “Oh… Thank you for letting us be here Ms. Kristen! I was wondering, yesterday I did a huge train with Yanma, and I wanted to try him… Ugh I mean her in a battle. Can I have a battle against someone?” asked Tyson, confident on the answer being yes.

    “Of course you can, it’s the least I can do!”

    “Alright! Lois, bring Munchlax, let’s battle!” said Tyson while running outside with Yanma.

    “Wait I’ll battle for Lois, I also wanna train a bit!” said Marion

    “Alright whatever you want Marion…” said Lois

    They both got ready and went outside.

    “Ok go Makuhita!”

    “Yanma go and use Wing Attack!”

    Yanma’s speed was unbelievable better and it managed to knock Makuhita back.

    “Woah nice one Yanma! Alright now use Sonicboom!”

    Yanma managed to hit Makuhita again, and it was knocked back. Yanma looked very happy and Makuhita looked happy for Yanma too.

    “Ok Makuhita use Force Palm!”

    Makuhita smiled and jumped up, hitting Yanma. Yanma managed to sustain the hit, but she got paralyzed.

    “Makuhita, use SmellingSalt!”

    “Yanma dodge it!”

    Yanma couldn’t move because of the paralysis and got hit. It wasn’t paralyzed anymore, however.

    “Ok Yanma, use Sonicboom!”

    Yanma smirked and attacked, but Makuhita dodged and went for another Force Palm.

    “Yanma, watch out!” yelled Tyson.

    Yanma started flapping its wings very fast and ended up using a Bug Buzz attack.

    “Yanma you learned Bug Buzz!”

    “Yann!! Ma Yanma!!” said Yanma happy.

    Makuhita and Snorunt (who was watching the battle) were happy, but Marion told Makuhita to use Force Palm again. It hit Yanma and knocked her out.

    “You did amazing Yanma!” said Tyson.

    They all went inside after the battle.

    “You know Tyson, Yanma did an outstanding battle thanks to you. I want her to get stronger and see more of the world. Please, take her with you, it will do her good. Please.” said Kristen.

    “What do you say Yanma?”

    “Yannmaa!!!” buzzed Yanma, looking extremely happy.

    “Well welcome to the team!”

    Yanma went in the Pokeball, and Tyson, Lois left to Pewter City, while Marion went back to Viridian.

    [End of Chapter 10]
    Last edited by TheSirPeras; 9th September 2012 at 11:53 PM.

  17. #42
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    This chapter features two differents stories happening at the same time, hope it's not hard to follow


    Chapter 11
    [A Battle Hard as Rock!]
    “Alright, there it is! Pewter City, finally!” exclaimed Tyson excited for the battle for his second gym.

    “Uhm make it quick alright, I also need to get new badges Tyson.” said Lois, not as excited as Tyson. In fact, not excited at all.

    As Tyson and Lois approached the city, they noticed two paths.

    “We clearly have to go to the right…” said Lois.

    “No, Pewter City is clearly to the left!” said Tyson.

    “No, to the right!”

    “To the left!”

    “Fine, I’ll go to the right, and you’ll end up going somewhere else!” said Lois.

    “Okay, we’ll see about that!”

    Tyson and Lois went different ways, and as they were more far away from each other, they started whispering insults to each other.
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    “Ah finally, Pewter City’s Pokemon Center! Now I just gotta ask Nurse Joy for a checkup, and then gym battle time!” said Tyson, as he called out his Snorunt, Hitmonchan and Yanma “Hey Nurse Joy! Can you check my Pokemon please?” asked Tyson.

    “Sure! It will take some minutes, please wait a bit.” said Nurse Joy as she smiled to Tyson.

    “Okay, thanks Nurse Joy! Uhmm, I wonder where Lois is at the moment… probably lost and really scared hahahah” laughed Tyson.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Uhhh where am I?” thought Lois as she walked in a path through the forest.

    She then heard a noise. It was a happy noise, like little children when they’re playing. Lois kept walking and walked up to a house. The house had a sign that said “Day Care Center”.

    “Uhh a Day Care! This would be great for Munchlax… Nahh I can’t leave him here. I’ll take a visit though” said Lois as she walked up to the Day Care Center.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Your Pokemon are fine” said Nurse Joy, as she gave Tyson his three Pokeballs.

    “Ah thanks Nurse Joy!” said Tyson in a grateful way, as he then called on his three Pokemon “Ok guys, the Pewter Gym is a Rock type gym! So Hitmonchan, you will be my ace here.”

    “Chan!” said Hitmonchan as he smirked and nodded.

    Tyson, called all of them back and ran outside to try to find the gym. He tried to find it and ended up going to this huge building. He walked in.

    “Hello, is this the gym?”

    A young man in a white robe came down the stairs. He had brown spiky hair and glasses.

    “No, this is the Pewter Museum! We’re doing some experiments now, so nobody is allowed to be here, but if you want you can come back tomorrow or in two days.” said the man, as he took Tyson to the exit.

    As Tyson walked away, he heard the sound of some tools and some screeches belonging to Pokemon, but he ignored them since the man said they were experiments.

    “Ok, come out Yanma!”

    “Yann Yan!” said Yanma looking happy to have been chosen by Tyson.

    “Help me find the Pewter gym Yanma” asked Tyson, who then saw his bug Pokemon fly away.

    Tyson then ran looking for the gym again.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    As Lois walked in the day care, she saw a woman give some milk to a Mantyke, while she was singing a lullaby to a Cleffa.

    There was also a Magby crying next to the girl. The girl had brown long hair, and was wearing a green dress with a Pokeball drawing in the middle of it.

    “Welcome to the day care!” said the woman.

    You could notice that she hadn’t had a decent night of sleep for a while.

    “Oh hello… Can I help you with something?” asked Lois, worried for the woman.

    “Well if you insist… you could try to get Magby to sleep, it would be great for him… And if you wanna help even more, how about you give the food on the balcony to the Pokemon outside?” asked the woman “Oh, my name is Ruby.”

    “Sure I’ll do that!” said Lois, as she grabbed Magby and started singing him a lullaby.

    She also grabbed the Pokemon food and took it outside to all the Pokemon.

    “Hey I know! Come out here guys!” said Lois as she called on all her Pokemon “Ok, I want you guys to help me. Kadabra and Mienshao, make sure all these Pokemon eat their food. Murkrow and Munchlax, come with me.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Yannn…” said Yanma, as she flew to Tyson.

    “You found the gym?”

    “Yannmaa!!” said Yanma, nodding and then flying away, showing Tyson the gym.

    Tyson ran, following Yanma. As he ran, he tripped on something that ran in front of him. When he fell, he heard the noise “Saur” and then saw a bunch of people go after the thing. Tyson got up quickly, and kept running to the gym though.

    “Ah finally here! Thanks Yanma!” thanked Tyson, excited for his next gym battle.

    “Well hello! Are you a challenger?” asked ???.

    “Yes I am! This is my Yanma, we’re a strong team!”

    “Well that Yanma surely looks powerful! I am the gym leader, Flint.” said Flint.

    “Hello Flint, my name’s Tyson. I want a battle!”

    “Well sure! When do you want to battle?!”

    “How about… NOW?!!?!” asked Tyson.

    “Sure, let’s get at it!”

    Tyson recalled Yanma, and walked inside with Flint. He saw a bunch of smaller kids playing with an older woman. Flint said they were all his family.

    “My two younger sons, Brock and Forrest are off on their own journey as well. Brock is studying to be a Pokemon Doctor, and Forrest left a couple of weeks ago, and has already earned three badges! You may find him sometimes, you may even battle him Tyson!” said Flint.

    Flint went to his place and Tyson to his.

    “Each trainer can use three Pokemon! The challenger Tyson, from Cinnabar Island can switch his Pokemon, while the leader Flint cannot! Begin!” said the Ref.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Hey Ruby, why don’t you go take a nap? You look exhausted, you even have Dark Circles!” said Lois, in a caring way.

    “Ah I really should… would you take care of the day care center please, Lois?”

    “Of course! Go rest for a bit!”

    “Thank you very much Lois!”

    Lois took Cleffa to her cradle, next to Magby who was already asleep and then went outside with all her Pokemon. Outside she saw a Bonsly, an Elekid, an Igglybuff, a Happiny, a Pichu, a Smoochum, a Munchlax, an Azurill and a Riolu.

    “Munchlax, I need to ask for your help. I need you to get all the Pokemon asleep…” said Lois to her Munchlax.

    Munchlax, however, just went to sleep by himself.

    “Ah fine, return Munchlax… Ok this is it! Time to work! Kadabra, I want you to work with Bonsly and Elekid! Murkrow, help Igglybuff and Happiny! Mienshao, help Pichu and Smoochum, and I will put Munchlax, Azurill and Riolu to sleep!” said Lois.

    Kadabra was using his Psychic powers to put Bonsly and Elekid asleep, as they were floating. Murkrow was taking them for slow flights as she sang Pokemon lullabies. Mienshao was doing slow old dances to make the Pokemon bored and asleep. Lois just sang lullabies and played a bit with the Pokemon until they all fell asleep.

    “Good job everybody! Kadabra, to not wake them up use your psychic powers to take all the Pokemon to their cradles.” said Lois as the Pokemon floated to their cradles.

    Lois recalled her Pokemon and sat on the couch, exhausted. She noticed there was a blue Pokemon egg next to her and started wondering what Pokemon would hatch from there.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Go Boldore!” said Flint.

    “Uh a Boldore? Ash had one! Isn’t it from Unova?” asked Tyson.

    “Yes! I caught it as a Roggenrola when I traveled to Unova with Lola in the holidays…”

    “Ok, go Hitmonchan!”

    Hitmonchan came out and grinned, punched the air a couple of times and said his name.

    “Use Mach Punch!”

    Hitmonchan approached Boldore and hit it with a strong punch in the face. Boldore was knocked back, but survived due to its Sturdy ability.

    “Boldore, Rock Blast!”

    “Hitmonchan, defend with Bullet Punch!”

    Boldore threw the rocks, but Hitmonchan destroyed them all with a couple of Bullet Punches.

    “Ok, use Bullet Punch again!”

    Hitmonchan smirked, jumped to Boldore and hit it hard. Boldore was knocked out.

    “Uh your Hitmonchan is powerful! Ok, return. Go, Golem!”

    “Gooolleeem!!”

    “Hitmonchan, return! Go Yanma!”

    Yanma looked nervous to Tyson, but Tyson did the thumbs up sign, refilling Yanma’s confidence.

    “Ok Yanma, use Bug Buzz!”

    Yanma started flapping her wings and then hit Golem, who was thrown against the wall.

    “Golem, use Rock Slide!”

    Yanma started looking worried again.

    “Yanma, don’t be nervous. Dodge it, you’re a fast Pokemon!” said Tyson.

    “Yann!” nodded Yanma.

    Rocks fell from a dimensional portal, but Yanma managed to dodge them all.

    “Yanma, use Sonicboom!”

    Yanma released energy from her wings and hit Golem, knocking it out.

    “Woo hoo good job Yanma!”

    “I’ll admit, I rarely train Golem, I normally just play with him, hehe…” said Flint “Ok my last Pokemon… go Aerodactyl!” said Flint.

    “This will be another easy win! Go Snorunt!”

    Snorunt came out and jumped a bit looking happy.

    “Aerodactyl, use Fire Fang and then Ancient Power!” commanded Flint.

    “Snorunt, use Blizzard!”

    Aerodactyl flew around the Blizzard, bit Snorunt and then flew back.

    “Snorunt, are you alright?”

    “Sno…”

    “Now Aerodactyl!”

    Aerodactyl’s body started glowing white and rocks appeared, being flung at Snorunt. Snorunt was then knocked out.

    “Uhm… go Yanma!”

    “Yannmaa!” said Yanma confident because of her last win.

    “Aerodactyl, use Ancient Power!”

    Aerodactyl started flying around, much faster than before, and its body started glowing white.

    “Why is it faster than before??” asked Tyson.

    “It’s Ancient Power’s side effect! It raises Aerodactyl’s speed, attack, defense, special attack and special defense!” said Flint.

    Aerodactyl then flung the rocks at Yanma, defeating her.

    “No! Yanma return! Ugghhh… go Hitmonchan!” said Tyson, starting to worry.

    “Aerodactyl, use Fire Fang!”

    “Hitmonchan use Thunder Punch!”

    Aerodactyl was much faster now and hit first and flew away before Hitmonchan could hit it.

    “Now use Ancient Power!”

    “What should I do?” started thinking Tyson.

    Aerodactyl’s body started glowing white again and once again, rocks came out of his body and hit Hitmonchan.

    “Hitmonchan no!”

    “Hitmon… chan!” said Hitmonchan, who grinned at Aerodactyl.

    “Aerodactyl finish this… with Sky Drop!”

    Aerodactyl flew very quickly to Hitmonchan, grabbed him, flew up and threw him down, defeating Tyson’s Pokemon.

    “No! Return… You were all great guys…”

    “Your Pokemon are really outstanding Tyson! Come back for a rematch anytime!” said Flint.

    Tyson left the gym and went to the Pokemon Center.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Thank you so much for your job Lois! You were a life saver!”

    Lois woke up and noticed all the Pokemon were around her and so was Ruby.

    “Oh, it was my pleasure Ruby! The Pokemon were great.” said Lois.

    “I must reward you Lois. How about you take this Pokemon egg? It appeared last week, after a trainer picked up his two Pokemon.” said Ruby.

    “Woah thanks a lot! I’ll take really good care of it!” said Lois “Well I have to go, going to Pewter City to meet up with my friend. So long Ruby!”

    Lois started walking away to Pewter City.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “How are my Pokemon Nurse Joy?” asked Tyson.

    “They’re gonna be ok, they just need to rest.” said Nurse Joy.

    “Ah that’s great!”

    Tyson sat on the bench next to the table and started reflecting on his battle.

    “Hey Tyson! Did you battle the gym leader?”

    “Uh? Oh hey Lois! Yeah I did, but I lost”.

    “Oh that’s alright, you’ll win next time! Well you were right, I ended up in a day care… but today was fun, and I received this Pokemon egg!” said Lois, excited for the egg.

    “Oh that’s awesome! A new Pokemon to the group!”

    “Yeah!!”

    “Well my battle sucked. I did amazing against Boldore and Golem, but that Aerodactyl really swoop my team…”

    “Hey you’ll win in your rematch, don’t worry!”

    Tyson and Lois started eating dinner after that.

    End of [Chapter 11]
    Last edited by TheSirPeras; 15th September 2012 at 9:57 PM.

  18. #43
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    Hey guys I' currently writing the next chapter but this time I decided to do something much different, so I hope you'll all like it. It'll be kind of a chronicle from the anime, but not really

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    I'm happy Tyson caught yanma! I love that Pokemon haha, I think the only thing I could say to help you improve would possibly be adding more description, there wasn't much of it and it makes me sad cause that's the one thing I love most in stories. It's one of the most importants things as well, creative writing would make your chapters 100% more interesting. Good chapter though!
    For everyone who likes stories you can read my first ever fan-fic here!


    ]

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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLady View Post
    I'm happy Tyson caught yanma! I love that Pokemon haha, I think the only thing I could say to help you improve would possibly be adding more description, there wasn't much of it and it makes me sad cause that's the one thing I love most in stories. It's one of the most importants things as well, creative writing would make your chapters 100% more interesting. Good chapter though!
    Thank you, yeah I read the chapters again and realized that, but the next chapter has much more descriptions and details. Thanks for the feedback

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    Special Chapter 1 [Beginning Adventures!]

    Lois took out her Pokemon egg, and started looking at it. Eventually, she started daydreaming.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *6 Years Ago*

    “Lois… Lois wake up honey” said Lois’ mom softly and shaking her daughter gently “It’s your birthday sweety…”

    “Ah let her sleep honey, it’s her day.” told Lois’ dad to his wife.

    Lois’ parents left her bedroom. It was her seventh birthday in Unova, in Mistralton City. Lois was a normal girl. She loved to play with her friend, and wild Pokemon. She was an average student, even though she was still seven years old. She normally disrupted the class by talking to her friends. Especially this one friend. This one friend she especially cared for. They were childhood friends, and spent basically every minute together in school. His name was Greg.

    *About 3 hours after*

    “Lois, your friend arrived!” yelled her mom.

    “I’m coming mommy.”

    Lois walked downstairs and opened the door. She saw Greg and his parents outside. They said hi, and after some cheap talk, Greg entered the house while his parents left. Lois asked her parents if they could play with their Pokemon, and they gave their Pokeballs.

    “Yayy thank you so much daddy!” said Lois, who then asked her mom.

    “Oh boy, I am so excited!” said Greg, smiling.

    Lois and Greg went outside and called on their Pokemon. Out came an immense amount of Pokemon from Unova. There was a Leavanny, a Sawk, a Dewott, a Servine, a Rufflet, a Cinccino, a Garbodor and some others. Greg and Lois started playing with all of them. They played tag, hide and seek ,all the games little kids like. Of course, the Pokemon joined too because they loved to have fun!

    Some hours later, Greg’s parents came to pick him up. Greg’s dad had something in his hands though.

    Greg’s family owned a farm and they raised Pokemon. Greg was really used to seeing Pokemon hatch from eggs, and see them get older and stronger, until evolution. He felt really sad when his parents gave away one of the Pokemon to trainers so that the Pokemon can get stronger, but he knew it had to be done.

    “Huh, is that a Pokemon egg?” asked Lois to her friend’s dad.

    “It is a Pokemon egg! I and Greg decided to give you a Pokemon egg as your birthday present!” said Greg’s dad, happy to see Lois with such a big smile on her face.

    “Yayy!! Mommy, can we keep it? Please, please, please, pretty please!!” shouted Lois, almost shedding tears of joy.

    “Of course you can honey! Greg’s dad and I were talking on the phone some days ago about this, and we both loved the idea! But you have to take care of him well.”

    “I will mommy, I promise! Thank you so much Greg!” said Lois, as she kissed Greg in the cheek.

    Greg started blushing, and the parents noticed this and started laughing.

    “What? Why are you laughing?” asked Lois, confused.

    The parents kept laughing, and eventually Greg left.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *1 year later*

    Lois’s family was at the airport waiting for the plane to Celadon. Lois still had the baby Mienfoo that hatched from the egg she received a year ago. She was about, 6 months old. Lois was sitting on the bench while Mienfoo was asleep in her bag. Her parents were busy reading magazines. Lois couldn’t stop thinking how she hadn’t had a proper good bye with Greg. She thought about it again and again, and she got sadder every time that thought came into her head. Mienfoo awoke, and sat on Lois’s lap.

    “Well Mienfoo, I didn’t get to say bye to Greg.” said Lois, frowning.

    “Mien? Foo??” asked Mienfoo, who was clearly sad to see her friend sad.

    “The Gates to the flight 7813-134, to Celadon City in Kanto, are now opened.”

    Lois’s parents got up, and put everything away. Lois recalled Mienfoo, and started walking to the gates, when suddenly she heard footsteps behind her.

    “Wait! Lois!” yelled Greg, running to Lois.

    “Greg! You came!!!” said Lois laughing hysterically, not being able to stop due to her being extremely happy.

    Mienfoo popped out of her Pokeball, and a Golett popped out of a Pokeball coming from Greg’s pockets. Golett also appeared to be a very young Pokemon, and both Mienfoo and Golett were dancing and playing around.

    Lois’s and Greg’s family showed up after that, and they were joyful to see each other, and saying their last good bye’s and wishing luck to each family.

    “Greg, how did you come in this part of the airport if you’re not flying anywhere?”

    “Well my parents are really smart and tricked the security, hehe!”

    They started laughing, and Greg’s dad said that Skyla’s Swanna came from a Ducklett that was being raised with them. He told them that he asked Skyla if he could get here really quickly, and Skyla accepted it, since they were good friends since that day.

    “Ah I see! Well that’s splendid, Marc!” said Lois’s mom.

    “Last call, the Gates to the flight 7813-134, to Celadon City in Kanto, is now opened.”

    “Well, we have to go! Wish us luck in Kanto!”

    “Good luck, friends!”

    Lois and Greg kissed each other in the cheek.

    “Remember, when we grow older, we’ll both become super famous trainers, right Lois?” asked Greg, smirking.

    “Of course, we’ll be the best in the world!” replied Lois.

    “No, in the universe!”

    They both laughed, said good bye, and each went their own way. Lois got in the airplane, and Greg went back home.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *In Celadon City, when Lois is 11 years old*
    Lois is outside, in her garden. Her house in Celadon is a big, yellow, summer-related house. It has a huge table outside next to a huge pool. There are tons of flowers outside, such as roses, tulips and daisies. You can see all the Pokemon belonging to the parents outside or inside. Leavanny was sniffing the flowers, Serperior was asleep on the floor. Cinccino was running around cleaning, while Sawk was actually helping Lois’s mom with the house work.

    The city, which Lois dislikes, is the total opposite of Mistralton. While Mistralton was a very calm and natural place, Celadon is very busy and there are many huge buildings. Lois likes to go shopping there though, and she loves to buy herself Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch clothes, but she hates it when people dress up Pokemon. She thinks it’s like taking away their liberty of walking around like they want. She says that just because a trainer wants clothes to the Pokemon, doesn’t mean the Pokemon does too.

    She’s with Mienfoo outside, and they are having a training session.

    “Ok, Mienfoo, try using Aura Sphere again!” commanded Lois.

    Mienfoo jumped, concentrated his energy in his brain, and then in his hands. A blue sphere started appearing, but it disappeared afterwards.

    “Hmh, we need some more training Mienfoo! Don’t worry, you’re doing an excellent job!”

    Mienfoo smiled, and sat down. She was tired now. At that same moment, Lois’s parents appeared.

    “Lois, can you please come inside to the living room honey?”

    “Sure! Why, any news?”

    They all walked inside, and her parents brought their laptop and turned on skype. They made a call.

    “Who are you guys calling?” asked Lois, as she approached the laptop and saw their names “You’re… you’re calling Greg’s family!!” exclaimed Lois, really excited.

    The other family answered, and Lois’s parents said they had great news.

    “Well… since we’ve been very good friends, I believe you also have the right to know that… WE’RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!!” yelled Lois’s dad.

    “Oh My God, Congratulations!!” said both Lois and Greg’s family.

    “Thank you so much! We’re so happy to expand our little family, this’ll be great!!”

    After a lot of talking, both parents left so Lois and Greg could catch up a bit.

    “So Lois, how’s Mienfoo?”

    “She’s great, we were training Aura Sphere a while ago! She’s gotten much stronger! How about Golett?”

    “Same old, same old. Except that he learned some new moves, which I’m really proud of, hehe…” said Greg, giggling.

    Lois started giggling too.

    “So, how’s the city??” asked Lois.

    “It’s the same. Well, actually not really, it’s not the same without you.” said Greg.

    “Oh you’re so sweet!” said Lois, blushing.

    “I cannot believe it’s been three year since we last saw each other…” said Greg, starting to look sad.

    “I know, it went so fast!”

    “Hey I have to go now, but we’ll definitely talk some other day! Good bye, have an awesome day, and I miss you like crazy!!” said Greg.

    “Ok bye, I miss you more” said Lois, smiling and looking really red like a tomato.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    *About 1 year and many months later*


    Lois is sitting with her baby sister, Laura. Laura has brown hair, brown eyes, pretty long hair and is about 1 year old. She loves playing with Pokemon, as seen with Mienfoo.

    “Oh Laura, you’re just the cutest baby ever!”

    “Haha, Laura cute!” laughed Laura.

    “Ah I wish I had the courage to go out on my own, to be a Pokemon trainer. I don’t want to fail Mienfoo, she’s been training so hard!”

    “Laura Pokemon Trainer!” giggled Laura.

    “Haha, you’ll be a great trainer someday, sweetie!”

    “Lois Pokemon Trainer!” giggled Laura again.

    “Yeah I hope I will too….” said Lois, as she realized something. Her future is in her hands. She remembered the promise she had made to Greg.

    “I promise I’ll become a Pokemon Trainer, a master trainer even!”

    Lois ran to her parents and told them this. Three weeks later, her journey began. She has called Greg once or twice in her journey, and he has also become a trainer, and has four badges.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Lois?? What’s wrong?” asked Tyson, as he looked at Lois just stare at the Pokemon Egg.

    “Huh? Oh nothing… just remembering memories…”

    “Uhmm okay then… C’mon, let’s go get some Pizza!”

    “Sure!”

    Now, every time Lois doubts of her dreams and skills, she remembers the promise she made when she was eight. And when she was about 12, to her sister.

    -End of Special Chapter 1-

  22. #47
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    Hey guys even though most of you don't seem to check my fic, I will TRY to get a new chapter up this weekend, I've had a lot of school work (2 essays, and still have to write another, and studying for tests). Sorry for the wait

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    Chapter 12 [The Grass Joker and the Grass Thief! Part I]

    “Ok Lois, you start!” yelled Tyson from the other side of the battle field.

    “Ok, go Mienshao, Murkrow and Kadabra!”

    “Yanma, Snorunt and Hitmonchan, go!”

    Tyson and Lois decided to do some training, for Tyson’s upcoming rematch against Flint. After a night of sleep at the Pokemon Center, Nurse Joy told them they could use the battle field outside. Tyson wanted a one on one, but Lois decided to teach him about Triple Battles, and how they work. Tyson liked this idea and they both decided to have a triple battle.

    The battle field outside has a lake in the middle of it and has some rocks around it.

    “Ok, Yanma use SonicBoom on the lake!”

    “On the lake?” asked Lois to herself, not knowing what he wanted to do. “Ok, Kadabra use Energy Ball on the lake as well!”
    Both attacks hit the lake, making a big green wave go against Tyson’s Pokemon while a big grey wave went against Lois’s Pokemon.

    *Inside the Pokemon Center*

    “Huh? He striked again?” asked Nurse Joy, while watching the TV.

    “Hey Nurse Joy! Are my Pokemon well?” asked a young girl. She was a brunette and had curly hair. She wasn’t very tall, about 160. She was a skinny girl, with a pink dress and a yellow ribbon on her hair.

    “Oh hey Tiffany! Yes your Pokemon are all well. Here they are!” said Nurse Joy, as Chansey brought Tiffany her Pokeballs. “So what are you planning on doing now?”

    “Well I’m gonna get that thief for once and for all! He’s gonna go to jail finally, and I’m gonna get a huge reward… hehehehehe” said Tiffany with a big grin. “Come out here guys!” said Tiffany, as her Charmeleon, her Slugma, her Ponyta and her Quilava came out.

    “Ok, good luck. He should really be stopped. That Bulbasaur has been stealing Pewter City for too long!”

    At that moment, Tiffany and Nurse Joy heard the sound of the two waves from Tyson’s and Lois’s battle hit the ground. They thought it might have been an earthquake and ran outside immediately.

    “What happened?!” asked Nurse Joy.

    “Nothing, it was just a planned combo move…” said Tyson slowly.

    “Well you guys be careful, there’s some important people here… *cough cough me cough cough*” said Tiffany arrogantly.

    “Who do you think you are?” asked Tyson to her.

    “Running around leaving scars… Collecting your jar of hearts…” started singing Tiffany.

    “What the…”

    “Well I am Tiffany. Daughter of the Celadon gym leader, Erika. I also like when people call me… The Grass Joker.”

    “Huh you’re a gym leader’s daughter? I am Blane’s son!”

    “Blane’s son?! So you must have a ton of fire Pokemon! Show them to me, now!!”

    “Actually I don’t have any fire Pokemon… I bet you have tons of grass types though…”

    “No! I hate grass types! Don’t ever repeat that!” yelled Tiffany.

    “Why would you hate grass types, if you are Erika’s daughter?” asked Lois.

    “Well do you know how frustrating it is to grow up surrounded by grass types?! Only grass types, and by that I literally mean ONLY grass types! It’s boring and frustrating. Plus, grass types are just weak. As I grew up, my hatred towards grass types grew, until one day I met a Charmander in the streets. It had been defeated by a group of grass types, like Weepinbell and Nuzleaf. I helped him and we both shared hatred towards grass types. We then proceeded to get revenge, but it wasn’t enough… so I started my journey to defeat every grass type I can… but you guys don’t have any, so tchau for now!”

    “WHAT!? You started a journey to get revenge on Pokemon?! You sicken me!” yelled Tyson very angry.

    “Psh, I don’t care about idiots like you two… well I must go get that Bulbasaur thief.” said Tiffany as she left.

    “Humph… Nurse Joy what did she mean by Bulbasaur thief?” asked Tyson.

    “Well lately in Pewter City there’s been a Bulbasaur that loves to steal food and goods that belong to others. Tiffany wants to get it.”

    “What? No way, I’ll get him!” said Tyson as he then remembered that time when he tripped when running to the Pewter gym the other day.

    “I’ll stay here training my Pokemon, our next gym may be closer than we think!” said Lois, as she walked in the center with Nurse Joy.

    “Ok Bulbasaur, here I go!” said Tyson as he ran in the city.

    Tyson ran quickly by the stores looking for Bulbasaur. The town was grey like rock, and there were many stores that were empty. Tyson stopped by a fruit store and asked the owner why his shop was out of merchandise, although he already knew the answer to it. The owner was a small old man with a grey beard and a cane.

    “Well, you see young man, that Bulbasaur thief ran by my store a couple of hours ago. He’s a very fast Pokemon, I tell you. Anyways, all I saw was two vines approach the merchandise and take everything, while many leaves were covering my already bad view. I was lucky to see he uses his vines to steal.”

    “Do you know in what direction he went?” asked Tyson.

    “Well if memory works, he went up straight. But that was hours ago, he could be anywhere!”

    “Well thanks anyways. Wait I got an idea!” yelled Tyson as he got a Pokeball and called on his Yanma “Yanma, go find a Bulbasaur! He’s got a bulb in his back and is a green-ish small Pokemon.”

    “Yann yann!” said Yanma as she flew away.

    As Yanma flew away, Tyson heard a voice behind him.

    “Well I guess you really came…”

    “Tiffany… I guess you haven’t gotten Bulbasaur yet!” said Tyson in a sneaky way.

    “One hundred bucks says you haven’t either…”

    “Deal! Oh wait, no! Ah crap!”

    “Whatever. See you around idiot.” said Tiffany as she left looking for Bulbasaur.

    Tyson kept running looking for Bulbasaur. As he was walking by a market, he heard people inside it scream. He also saw Yanma flying inside the green tent where the market was being held.

    “Huh it must be Bulbasaur!”

    Tyson was about to go in when these two ladies dressed in a very fancy way walked out of the tent. Tyson heard them say the words “Girl” “Fire” and “Monster”.

    “Girl… Fire… Monster… Could it be the girl on fire... the capitol striked again?!?? Nah that doesn’t make any sense… think harder Tyson!... Right, Tiffany, her fire types and Bulbasaur is the monster! I won’t let Tiffany hurt him!” thought to himself as he ran in the Market.

    Tyson entered the market and saw Tiffany and her Charmeleon use Flamethrower. Tyson saw Yanma and they reunited, and then called on his Snorunt and Hitmonchan. Bulbasaur was trying to hide in the corner of the tent without success. Tyson then sees Bulbasaur dodge a powerful Flamethrower.

    “Woah like that old guy said, Bulbasaur is quick! Ok guys, go fight against Charmeleon while I help that Bulbasaur.”
    Snorunt, Hitmonchan and Yanma jumped in front of Tiffany, and Tiffany called on her Slugma and her Ponyta. Tyson ran to Bulbasaur and went down.

    “I’m here to help you Bulbasaur, I won’t let that trainer treat you badly.” whispered Tyson to Bulbasaur.

    “Bulb?” asked Bulbasaur.

    Tyson tried to grab Bulbasaur but Bulbasaur thought he was gonna hurt him, so he bit Tyson’s arm.

    “Ah! What the!” yelled Tyson.

    “Erhm okay, use triple Flamethrower!” commanded Tiffany as her three Pokemon used a Powerful Flamethrower combo, which knocked out all of Tyson’s Pokemon.

    “Ehm, return guys you were great!” said Tyson as the red dotted light retrieved his Pokemon back “Now listen Bulbasaur, I am trying to help you here!”

    “Bulba? Saurrr” said Bulbasaur as he hit Tyson with his Vine Whip and ran away from the tent.

    “Ouch! Damn he’s got trusting issues!”

    “Well congrats, he’s wild again!” said Tiffany sarcastically.

    “Better than being with a cruel trainer like you.”

    “Psh don’t care about your opinion… Anyways he can’t be far away, Charmeleon hit him a couple of times so he’s probably tired.”

    Both trainers ran outside looking for Bulbasaur.

    [End of Chapter 12 Part I]
    Last edited by TheSirPeras; 11th October 2012 at 8:09 PM.

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    It was a very interesting chapter. I liked the way you described Tiffany's background and personality. Bulbasaur-thief is also a very nice idea. I enjoyed quarrel between her and Tyson)
    Actually, I liked it, but I noticed a mistake:
    “Yanma, Snorunt and Yanma, go!”
    Do you see the mistake?)

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    Quote Originally Posted by RealRaymon View Post
    It was a very interesting chapter. I liked the way you described Tiffany's background and personality. Bulbasaur-thief is also a very nice idea. I enjoyed quarrel between her and Tyson)
    Actually, I liked it, but I noticed a mistake:

    Do you see the mistake?)
    Thank you! I was struggling with ideas so I decided to change a bit Bulbasaur. We usually see well behaved Bulbasaur in the anime (ash's and may's) so I wanted a different one

    Ah yes XD Thank you for noticing

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