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Thread: A Quick One While She's Away (A One-Shot)

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    Post A Quick One While She's Away (A One-Shot)

    Author's Notes: Hey guys!

    So I've been enthusiastic about writing battle scenes, but I have zero experience in that field. So, I figured I'd start off with something light, and thus, the birth of this fic.

    It's nothing too serious, more of a way for me to get back into writing, but I thought I'd put it out and see what you kind people of the SPPF Fanfiction forums would say. Hope you enjoy! (:

    Title: A Quick One While She's Away
    Rating: G. It's really supposed to be a simple, cute little thing.
    Point of View: Third Person
    Summary: All is fun and games until Professor Juniper decides to leave the three, young starter Pokemon alone. That's when things get serious!

    -----

    “Alright, guys! You three behave while I get you all some dinner, ok? I’ll be right back!”

    The kind professor walked out of the small room, her white lab coat flowing behind her, as an orange, pig-like Pokemon, a green, snake-like Pokemon, and a white and blue otter-like Pokemon chirped their compliance. The room itself was pretty plain, containing only a small couch for sitting, and a table with the three forms atop. The walls were all white, decorated with a few paintings of trees, and a single potted plant in the corner.

    The pig-like Pokemon noticed the professor's disheveled brown hair, a sharp contrast to earlier that morning when it had been neatly swirled upwards and kept. After all, he and his companions were a handful to take care of; no one could get out without so much as a scratch.

    Amused at the thought, and determined to prove his point, the orange Pokemon lightly bumped into one of his companions. The green, snake-like Pokemon, not amused by the pig-like Pokemon’s sudden rudeness, slapped the red ball at the end of the pig’s coil-like tail.

    “Cut it out, Tepig! Professor Juniper’s going to get mad if we start fighting again!” the third Pokemon pleaded, placing its otter-like form between the two.

    Tepig glared at the white and blue otter-like Pokemon, and puffed a cloud of smoke at it. Grinning menacingly, Tepig taunted it. “Oh, Oshawott. Thank you for reminding me again. I completely forgot the professor told us to behave. What would I ever do without you?”

    Oshawott smiled, oblivious to the sarcasm in the Fire Pig’s voice, and replied, “Oh, don’t mention it, Tepig. I just want to help! After all, our trainers are going to pick us up soon and-“

    “Oshawott, he’s being sarcastic!” the snake-like Pokemon yelled, shaking Oshawott as she cut him off with her dainty green arms.

    “Wha? Why would Tepig do that?” Oshawott asked, tears forming in his eyes as he looked at Tepig for an answer.

    Tepig paused a second, momentarily disheartened by the look on his Water-type friend, but shook it off. He was a strong Pokemon, and strong Pokemon were not so easily discouraged.

    “Because it’s funny, Oshawott! You’re so easily tricked! And come on, Snivy, lighten up! I was just showing you how unprepared you are to be chosen by a trainer. You need to be more alert! What trainer would pick a dopey Pokemon? I was just helping you out!”

    Tepig forced a laugh, oblivious as his two companions growled at him.

    “See, Oshawott? Tepig was being a jerk!” Snivy said through clenched teeth, gearing up for the attack that she would soon launch. Oshawott nodded, tears now flowing lightly from his eyes, but the hurt on his face vanished, and was replaced with anger. Oshawott geared himself for his own attack and slowly took his scalchop off of his stomach.

    Tepig finally stopped laughing, and noted the looks of anger on their faces. “Uh… Guys? Uh… Obviously I was joking. No need to be so serious. You two really need to lighten up. No trainer would pick you two if that’s your attitude.”

    He realized too late that this was the wrong response.

    Snivy moved first. Dashing forward, she whipped her leafy tail around and smacked Tepig in the general area of the head, knocking him off the table. “That’s,” Snivy said smugly, completing her spin and looking down at the fallen Tepig, “for tackling my tail.”

    Tepig growled as he recovered, hopping to all fours. “That’s it! I’m gonna-“ he began, stomping his foot on the floor, but was cut off as Oshawott’s scalchop slammed into the other side of his head.

    Oshawott leapt off the table, and onto the wooden floor, rolling as he grabbed his scalchop from where it lay next to Tepig. “You big meanie!” Oshawott yelled, wacking Tepig some more with the scalchop.

    “Cut! It! Out!” Tepig yelled, before ramming his head past the flurry of scalchop and paw, and into Oshawott’s now unprotected stomach. The force sent him toppling into the leg of the table, which Snivy was still standing on, breaking it.

    Tumbling off the falling table, Snivy fell on top of Oshawott. “Of course I’d land on Oshawott…” she muttered, cringing as she stood back up. Oshawott was unable to say the same, as he lay, eyes closed and mouth opened.

    “HA! Come on, Oshawott! Are you serious? No trainer’s going to pick you if that’s all you got!” Tepig exclaimed, a little more confident now, having knocked out one opponent and injuring the other, all with one attack.

    Snivy stood at full height, glaring daggers at her cocky companion.

    “Want some more, Snivy? Then bring it! Hit me with your best shot!” Tepig stomped his foot down, as if to charge for a tackle.

    Her eyes narrowed as she contemplated her next course of action. Tepig continued stomping his foot. “Come on, Snivy! I’m getting bored here! Hellooo? Knock, knock; still there?”

    Tepig finally gave up. “Alright, if you won’t come to me, I’ll come to you!”

    He charged forward, and nearly connected with his target. But Snivy was quick, and leapt over Tepig’s head last second. He skidded to a halt, and turned, searching for where Snivy had landed. To his confusion, Snivy was nowhere to be found.

    Tepig had just enough time to lift his head and see a tornado of leaves erupt from Snivy’s swinging tail before being knocked ferociously backwards, losing all sense of direction. Snivy landed with a soft ‘thud,’ in front of Tepig, who lay in the remains of the potted plant, which had toppled over on top of him.

    “I thought you were going to come to me?” Snivy asked, grinning.

    Tepig began to rise, causing the plant to roll off of him, causing Snivy to brace herself, and groaned. Snivy smiled at this. “Not so tough now, are you, you fat jerk?”

    Tepig immediately tensed as he heard this, and began yelling. “NO ONE! CALLS! ME! FAT!!”

    Angrily taking a deep breath, he willed the warmth overflowing within him to concentrate into one area; his snout. Feeling the heat within begin to build up, he puffed it out, shooting balls of fire towards his Grass Snake opponent, who had noticed what Tepig was doing and protected her body with her tail. While it pained her both literally and emotionally to allow her tail to be damaged that way, it was for the best, she had decided.

    However, Tepig didn’t stop there. As soon as he had finished spewing out embers, he charged at Snivy, hoping to take her off guard. He did. The tackle connected, and sent Snivy flying into the painting of a tree that had hung on the wall next to where the table once stood. The Grass-type Pokemon and the painting both fell to the ground with a thud.

    Unbeknownst to the other two, Oshawott had finally woken up. Seeing the turmoil that had erupted while he was incapacitated, a knot formed in his throat and his body began to freeze with fear. He had never dealt with a situation like this, where total chaos ran rampant. So many things could happen. He could be the victim of a stray attack, or one of the others might get hurt, or the Professor might walk in and get mad, or or… This was too much for a two month old Oshawott! He didn’t know what to do!

    So he did the only thing that he could do in that situation. He cried; loudly.

    The crying caught Tepig’s attention, causing him to smirk. He had broken Oshawott. That was one less opponent to worry about. “Aw, don’t cry, you little baby. You’ll have plenty of time to do that when the trainers come in and don’t pick you.” He stuck his tongue out at Oshawott for emphasis.

    Oshawott suddenly stopped crying, and began shaking. Snivy had just gotten the painting off of her when she noticed what was happening. “Oshawott, don’t!” she cried, rushing towards the Water type in hopes of calming him down, but she wasn’t fast enough.

    Oshawott unleashed a torrent of jet-streamed water aimed at the Fire Pig from his mouth. Unfortunately for Snivy, she was in the trajectory of the powerful blast of water, and was blasted by the powerful jet of water. Tepig was hit by both the Water Gun and Snivy a second later.

    “What’s going on here?” a voice full of worry said suddenly. A human voice.

    The professor was back.

    She stared, momentarily dumbfounded by the scene in front of her. Of the three paintings, only two were still hanging. The one that had fallen had a small hole right through the center of it, as well as a few burn marks, and lay on the floor. It was still on fire, although the embers were small, and were likely to extinguish on their own. The table that the three Pokemon had been sitting on lay on the ground, legs up, with one leg broken off, and was also scorched. Tepig and Snivy lay in front of that same wall as the painting, unconscious and drenched in water. Oshawott, for some reason, also lay passed out in front of the table.

    The room was, in short, wrecked.

    “Oh guys…” she said, dropping her face into the palm of her hand, and walked off to get a broom.

    -----

    And that's that! Thanks for reading! What'd you all think? Hopefully it wasn't too bad. XP
    Last edited by jstinftw!; 5th September 2012 at 12:41 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jstinftw! View Post
    Author's Notes: Hey guys!

    So I've been enthusiastic about writing battle scenes, but I have zero experience in that field. So, I figured I'd start off with something light, and thus, the birth of this fic.

    It's nothing too serious, more of a way for me to get back into writing, but I thought I'd put it out and see what you kind people of the SPPF Fanfiction forums would say. Hope you enjoy! (:

    Title: A Quick One While She's Away
    Rating: G. It's really supposed to be a simple, cute little thing.
    Point of View: Third Person
    Summary: All is fun and games until Professor Juniper decides to leave the three, young starter Pokemon alone. That's when things get serious!

    -----

    “Alright, guys! You three behave while I get you all some dinner, ok? I’ll be right back!”

    The kind professor walked out of the small room, her white lab coat flowing behind her, as an orange, pig-like Pokemon, a green, snake-like Pokemon, and a white and blue otter-like Pokemon chirped their compliance. The room itself was pretty plain, containing only a small couch for sitting, and a table with the three forms atop. The walls were all white, decorated with a few paintings of trees, and a single potted plant in the corner.

    The pig-like Pokemon noticed her disheveled brown hair, a sharp contrast to earlier that morning when it had been neatly swirled upwards and kept. After all, he and his companions were a handful to take care of; no one could get out without so much as a scratch.

    Amused at the thought, and determined to prove his point, the orange Pokemon lightly bumped into one of his companions. The green, snake-like Pokemon, not amused by the pig-like Pokemon’s sudden rudeness, slapped the red ball at the end of the pig’s coil-like tail.

    “Cut it out, Tepig! Professor Juniper’s going to get mad if we start fighting again!” the third Pokemon pleaded, placing its otter-like form between the two.

    Tepig glared at the white and blue otter-like Pokemon, and puffed a cloud of smoke at it. Grinning menacingly, Tepig taunted it. “Oh, Oshawott. Thank you for reminding me again. I completely forgot the professor told us to behave. What would I ever do without you?”

    Oshawott smiled, oblivious to the sarcasm in the Fire Pig’s voice, and replied, “Oh, don’t mention it, Tepig. I just want to help! After all, our trainers are going to pick us up soon and-“

    “Oshawott, he’s being sarcastic!” the snake-like Pokemon yelled, shaking Oshawott as she cut him off with her dainty green arms.

    “Wha? Why would Tepig do that?” Oshawott asked, tears forming in his eyes as he looked at Tepig for an answer.

    Tepig paused a second, momentarily disheartened by the look on his Water-type friend, but shook it off. He was a strong Pokemon, and strong Pokemon were not so easily disencouraged.

    “Because it’s funny, Oshawott! You’re so easily tricked! And come on, Snivy, lighten up! I was just showing you how unprepared you are to be chosen by a trainer. You need to be more alert! What trainer would pick a dopey Pokemon? I was just helping you out!”

    Tepig forced a laugh, oblivious as his two companions growled at him.

    “See, Oshawott? Tepig was being a jerk!” Snivy said through clenched teeth, gearing up for the attack that she would soon launch. Oshawott nodded, tears now flowing lightly from his eyes, but the hurt on his face vanished, and was replaced with anger. Oshawott geared himself for his own attack and slowly took his scalchop off of his stomach.

    Tepig finally stopped laughing, and noted the looks of anger on their faces. “Uh… Guys? Uh… Obviously I was joking. No need to be so serious. You two really need to lighten up. No trainer would pick you two if that’s your attitude.”

    He realized too late that this was the wrong response.

    Snivy moved first. Dashing forward, she whipped her leafy tail around and smacked Tepig in the general area of the head, knocking him off the table. “That’s,” Snivy said smugly, completing her spin and looking down at the fallen Tepig, “for tackling my tail.”

    Tepig growled as he recovered, hopping to all fours. “That’s it! I’m gonna-“ he began, stomping his foot on the floor, but was cut off as Oshawott’s scalchop slammed into the other side of his head.

    Oshawott leapt off the table, and onto the wooden floor, rolling as he grabbed his scalchop from where it lay next to Tepig. “You big meanie!” Oshawott yelled, wacking Tepig some more with the scalchop.

    “Cut! It! Out!” Tepig yelled, before ramming his head past the flurry of scalchop and paw, and into Oshawott’s now unprotected stomach. The force sent him toppling into the leg of the table, which Snivy was still standing on, breaking it.

    Tumbling off the falling table, Snivy fell on top of Oshawott. “Of course I’d land on Oshawott…” she muttered, cringing as she stood back up. Oshawott was unable to say the same, as he lay, eyes closed and mouth opened.

    “HA! Come on, Oshawott! Are you serious? No trainer’s going to pick you if that’s all you got!” Tepig exclaimed, a little more confident now, having knocked out one opponent and injuring the other, all with one attack.

    Snivy stood at full height, glaring daggers at her cocky companion.

    “Want some more, Snivy? Then bring it! Hit me with your best shot!” Tepig stomped his foot down, as if to charge for a tackle.

    Her eyes narrowed as she contemplated her next course of action. Tepig continued stomping his foot. “Come on, Snivy! I’m getting bored here! Hellooo? Knock, knock; still there?”

    Tepig finally gave up. “Alright, if you won’t come to me, I’ll come to you!”

    He charged forward, and nearly connected with his target. But Snivy was quick, and leapt over Tepig’s head last second. He skidded to a halt, and turned, searching for where Snivy had landed. To his confusion, Snivy was nowhere to be found.

    Tepig had just enough time to lift his head and see a tornado of leaves erupt from Snivy’s swinging tail before being knocked ferociously backwards, losing all sense of direction. Snivy landed with a soft ‘thud,’ in front of Tepig, who lay in the remains of the potted plant, which had toppled over on top of him.

    “I thought you were going to come to me?” Snivy asked, grinning.

    Tepig began to rise, causing the plant to roll off of him, causing Snivy to brace herself, and groaned. Snivy smiled at this. “Not so tough now, are you, you fat jerk?”

    Tepig immediately tensed as he heard this, and began yelling. “NO ONE! CALLS! ME! FAT!!”

    Angrily taking a deep breath, he willed the warmth overflowing within him to concentrate into one area; his snout. Feeling the heat within begin to build up, he puffed it out, shooting balls of fire towards his Grass Snake opponent, who had noticed what Tepig was doing and protected her body with her tail. While it pained her both literally and emotionally to allow her tail to be damaged that way, it was for the best, she had decided.

    However, Tepig didn’t stop there. As soon as he had finished spewing out embers, he charged at Snivy, hoping to take her off guard. He did. The tackle connected, and sent Snivy flying into the painting of a tree that had hung on the wall right of where the table once stood. The Grass-type Pokemon and the painting both fell to the ground with a thud.

    Unbeknownst to the other two, Oshawott had finally woken up. Seeing the turmoil that had erupted while he was incapacitated, a knot formed in his throat and his body began to freeze with fear. He had never dealt with a situation like this, where total chaos ran rampant. So many things could happen. He could be the victim of a stray attack, or one of the others might get hurt, or the Professor might walk in and get mad, or or… This was too much for a two month old Oshawott! He didn’t know what to do!

    So he did the only thing that he could do in that situation. He cried; loudly.

    The crying caught Tepig’s attention, causing him to smirk. He had broken Oshawott. That was one less opponent to worry about. “Aw, don’t cry, you little baby. You’ll have plenty of time to do that when the trainers come in and don’t pick you.” He stuck his tongue out at Oshawott for emphasis.

    Oshawott suddenly stopped crying, and began shaking. Snivy had just gotten the painting off of her when she noticed what was happening. “Oshawott, don’t!” She cried, rushing towards the Water type in hopes of calming him down, but she wasn’t fast enough.

    Oshawott unleashed a torrent of jet-streamed water aimed at the Fire Pig from his mouth. Unfortunately for Snivy, she was in the trajectory of the powerful blast of water, and was blasted by the powerful jet of water. Tepig was hit by both the Water Gun and Snivy a second later.

    “What’s going on here?” a voice full of worry said suddenly. A human voice.

    The professor was back.

    She stared, momentarily dumbfounded by the scene in front of her. Of the three paintings, only two were still hanging. The one that had fallen had a small hole right through the center of it, as well as a few burn marks, and lay on the floor. It was still on fire, although the embers were small, and were likely to extinguish on their own. The table that the three Pokemon had been sitting on lay on the ground, legs up, with one leg broken off, and was also scorched. Tepig and Snivy lay in front of that same wall as the painting, unconscious and drenched in water. Oshawott, for some reason, also lay passed out in front of the table.

    The room was, in short, wrecked.

    “Oh guys…” she said, dropping her face into the palm of her hand, and walked off to get a broom.

    -----

    And that's that! Thanks for reading! What'd you all think? Hopefully it wasn't too bad. XP
    Nice one! Tepig is a big jerk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Zoroark View Post
    Nice one! Tepig is a big jerk.
    Hahah thanks! Yeah, I kinda tried. I love Tepig and all, so I wanted to try and give him a personality I normally wouldn't give him. Glad it worked for you! (:

    Any other reviews? I'd very much love to hear what you all have to say!

    Feel like you need a little more Pokemon in your life? Tune into our show!
    EPISODE 55 - SLOWPOKE HOLIDAY
    Looking for something Pokemon-related to listen to while playing through Pokemon XY? This episode is for you!!
    Released: 12/11/14


    Guess who claimed Luxray?!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jstinftw! View Post
    The pig-like Pokemon noticed her disheveled brown hair, a sharp contrast to earlier that morning when it had been neatly swirled upwards and kept. After all, he and his companions were a handful to take care of; no one could get out without so much as a scratch.
    Something that is just a small typo. At first you refer to Tepig as a female and then as a male. The rest of the story you refer to Tepig as a male.

    Tepig paused a second, momentarily disheartened by the look on his Water-type friend, but shook it off. He was a strong Pokemon, and strong Pokemon were not so easily disencouraged.
    I’m not positive on this but should this be discouraged? Not sure since I have never heard disencouraged before and there are two prefixes (dis- and en-) that are opposite in meaning.

    “Cut! It! Out!” Tepig yelled, before ramming his head past the flurry of scalchop and paw, and into Oshawott’s now unprotected stomach. The force sent him toppling into the leg of the table, which Snivy was still standing on, breaking it.
    I like how you are using the environment within the battle.

    The tackle connected, and sent Snivy flying into the painting of a tree that had hung on the wall right of where the table once stood.
    Maybe: wall right next to where the table once stood.

    Unbeknownst to the other two, Oshawott had finally woken up. Seeing the turmoil that had erupted while he was incapacitated, a knot formed in his throat and his body began to freeze with fear. He had never dealt with a situation like this, where total chaos ran rampant. So many things could happen. He could be the victim of a stray attack, or one of the others might get hurt, or the Professor might walk in and get mad, or or… This was too much for a two month old Oshawott! He didn’t know what to do!

    So he did the only thing that he could do in that situation. He cried; loudly.
    I like this since it helps gives me some more insight into Oshawott.

    The crying caught Tepig’s attention, causing him to smirk. He had broken Oshawott. That was one less opponent to worry about. “Aw, don’t cry, you little baby. You’ll have plenty of time to do that when the trainers come in and don’t pick you.” He stuck his tongue out at Oshawott for emphasis.
    And now I want to slap this pig. Though, he could be at an age where he hasn’t developed empathy yet so maybe not.

    Oshawott suddenly stopped crying, and began shaking. Snivy had just gotten the painting off of her when she noticed what was happening. “Oshawott, don’t!” She cried, rushing towards the Water type in hopes of calming him down, but she wasn’t fast enough.
    The ‘s’ in she should probably be lower cased.

    On another note about this, I like how Snivy has probably realized just how far out of hand things have gotten and doesn’t want Oshawott to do something that he’ll regret.

    Overall this was a very enjoyable read. I want to hug to Oshawott in this story.

    I sort of get the feeling that if these three were to be compared to siblings that Snivy would be the big sister trying to look out for her younger brother, Oshawott. The Oshawott is the youngest kid that isn’t wise to the world around him yet and could be taken advantage of if someone isn’t keeping an eye on him, along with wanting to help his siblings when he can. And Tepig is the problem child or the odd one out. Feeling that to be noticed they have to push their siblings around and doesn’t really care about their siblings; just his own goals and needs are met.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    Something that is just a small typo. At first you refer to Tepig as a female and then as a male. The rest of the story you refer to Tepig as a male.
    It was meant to refer to the Professor's hair. XD I'll see if I can find a way to be more specific.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    I’m not positive on this but should this be discouraged? Not sure since I have never heard disencouraged before and there are two prefixes (dis- and en-) that are opposite in meaning.
    I could have sworn I'd fixed that error... I remember specifically thinking about it while typing. :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    I like how you are using the environment within the battle.
    Thanks! As I said, I was using this as sort of training for writing battle scenes, so it's great to hear that I'm on the right track! (:

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    Maybe: wall right next to where the table once stood.
    Duly noted. That was supposed to say something else, but I edited it and I guess I didn't catch the shift. My bad!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    I like this since it helps gives me some more insight into Oshawott.
    (:

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    And now I want to slap this pig. Though, he could be at an age where he hasn’t developed empathy yet so maybe not.
    I personally was aiming for the latter, but that is open to interpretation. (:

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    The ‘s’ in she should probably be lower cased.
    And here I thought I did a good job of proofreading. :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    On another note about this, I like how Snivy has probably realized just how far out of hand things have gotten and doesn’t want Oshawott to do something that he’ll regret.

    Overall this was a very enjoyable read. I want to hug to Oshawott in this story.

    I sort of get the feeling that if these three were to be compared to siblings that Snivy would be the big sister trying to look out for her younger brother, Oshawott. The Oshawott is the youngest kid that isn’t wise to the world around him yet and could be taken advantage of if someone isn’t keeping an eye on him, along with wanting to help his siblings when he can. And Tepig is the problem child or the odd one out. Feeling that to be noticed they have to push their siblings around and doesn’t really care about their siblings; just his own goals and needs are met.
    My goal is pretty much accomplished then! I was really aiming for that kind of feel for the characters; I'm glad it all came through. I was worried that the characters would be stale, or forced, but I did what I could with them. It's relieving to know that they came through alright. (:

    Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! And also, thanks for the review. It's nice to know what readers feel/think. (:

    Feel like you need a little more Pokemon in your life? Tune into our show!
    EPISODE 55 - SLOWPOKE HOLIDAY
    Looking for something Pokemon-related to listen to while playing through Pokemon XY? This episode is for you!!
    Released: 12/11/14


    Guess who claimed Luxray?!

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    [QUOTE=jstinftw!;15070586]It was meant to refer to the Professor's hair. XD I'll see if I can find a way to be more specific.[QUOTE]
    I could have just misread that then.

    Thanks! As I said, I was using this as sort of training for writing battle scenes, so it's great to hear that I'm on the right track! (:
    Yep, that bit was really nice. I have read other stories where the characters could have been fighting on a mountain, a street, or in a void and it would have made no difference on the fight. So, when the environment is used I will take note of it.

    And here I thought I did a good job of proofreading. :P
    Pretty sure that everyone will miss a few things when proofreading. Ignoring the few errors the story was really enjoyable and the errors didn't distract from the story.

    My goal is pretty much accomplished then! I was really aiming for that kind of feel for the characters; I'm glad it all came through. I was worried that the characters would be stale, or forced, but I did what I could with them. It's relieving to know that they came through alright. (:

    Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! And also, thanks for the review. It's nice to know what readers feel/think. (:
    That's good. You definaltly got the characters across without it feeling forced or like I was being bashed over the head with "This is what they are. Now get it already." Also, thanks for putting your story out there for me to read. It was fun to read.

    I sort of wonder if you'll use these three again. They were fun to read about after all. Though if you have no plans for them then that is fine too. (I know of authors that feel that they must write about whatever a reader suggests, even if they have no plan for that.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    That's good. You definaltly got the characters across without it feeling forced or like I was being bashed over the head with "This is what they are. Now get it already." Also, thanks for putting your story out there for me to read. It was fun to read.
    This totally makes up for the lack of reviews. Thank you for reviewing. It's nice to know that someone actually read and enjoyed what I wrote. I'm a somewhat self-conscious writer, and it only helps to have reviews.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    I sort of wonder if you'll use these three again. They were fun to read about after all. Though if you have no plans for them then that is fine too. (I know of authors that feel that they must write about whatever a reader suggests, even if they have no plan for that.)
    I promise you that your comment did not have any influence on this thought, but I am seriously considering it. I have a few plans for a story I want to write (hence, my practice writing battle scenes), and I just might bring these characters back in some way/shape/form. So here's to that. ;D

    Feel like you need a little more Pokemon in your life? Tune into our show!
    EPISODE 55 - SLOWPOKE HOLIDAY
    Looking for something Pokemon-related to listen to while playing through Pokemon XY? This episode is for you!!
    Released: 12/11/14


    Guess who claimed Luxray?!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    I love how you added a human element of emotions to the Pokemon, really makes me connect to the battle, feel like I'm there. I enjoyed it, and you should do anouther sometime soon.

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