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Thread: Wally's Adventure

  1. #1
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    Default Wally's Adventure

    Hi and welcome to my Story about Wally's Adventure, though we didn't see him on Anime. So I decide to make this kind of story about Wally. Hope you like my new story!

    Wally's ready for his Adventure in this pic!*
    -->
    I'm sorry it's only his picture and the background is white.
    I hope you will enjoy this story!

        Spoiler:- PM List::


    Characters:
    Wally, Wanda, Mother of Wally, Drew, Scott, Bug Catcher Fred, Brendan, Team Aqua Grunt, Team Aqua Admin Shelly, Team Magma Grunt, Team Magma Admin Tabitha, Barry, Roxanne, Mr. Briney, Stranger, May, Mr. Stone
    Mention only:
    Norman, Bug Catcher Pro Freddie, Steven Stone


    Volume 1: Season 1: The Beginning of the Adventure

    Chapters-
    Chapter 1: Wally's First Pokemon!

    Chapter 2: Never Give up!

    Chapter 3: Training Madness! Part 1

    Chapter 4: Training Madness! Part 2

    Chapter 5: The First Gym Battle!

    Chapter 6: Triple Threat!

    Chapter 7: The New Year Special! May on the Bay!

    Chapter 7.1: The New Year Special! Mr. Briney missing! JANUARY 4,2013

    Chapter 7.2: The New Year Special! May's Pokemon with Surf! JANUARY 5, 2013

    Season 2: New Friends

    Chapter 8: Steven's got a problem! JANUARY 11, 2013

    Chapter 9: The Gym is very wash! Possibly JANUARY 12, 2013

    Wait for announcements next week!

    Chapter 1: Wally's First Pokemon!

    Pokemon Narrator: "Welcome to the world with full of creatures called Pokemon, and one Pokemon lover starts his journey!"

    Wally: (Wakes up and yawn noisily.) "Good morning, world!" (His mother knocks the door.)

    Wally: (Fixed the bed fast and going to open the door.) "Good Morning mom!"

    Mother of Wally: (His mother says as she smile to Wally) "Good Morning! Your cousin, Wanda, is waiting outside, and she will give you a present."

    Wally: (Wally is surprise.) "Oh really? I will ready my things!"

    Mother of Wally: "Take care!" (Holding Wally's hair.)

    Wally: "Bye, Mom!" (As he get inside on Wanda's car.)

    Wanda: "Are you ready?"

    Wally: "Ready for what?" (He's really excited what it is.)

    Wanda: "Here, given by Sir Norman, a Pokeball. It is use for catching Pokemon!" (She gives the Pokeball to Wally.) "And you will meet someone."

    Wally: "Who?" (Suddenly become serious.)

    Wanda: "There he is!"

    (A boy in front of Wanda's car.)

    Wally: "Wow! I see a Pokeball on his bag, he must be a trainer!"

    Wanda: "Yep, and he is the son of the Gym Leader, his name is Brendan."

    (Wally and Wanda open the car door and get outside of the car.)

    Brendan: "So you must be Wally."

    (Gets the hand of Wanda and suddenly says)

    Wanda: "I'm not Wally, my name is Wanda, this boy is my cousin, Wally."

    Brendan: (He takes his hand away from Wanda) I'm sorry, I thought you were Wally. Anyways, (Stares at Wally.) My dad said you wanted a Pokemon, and Dad said I will help you catch a Pokemon. Wanda, have you given the Pokeball to him?"

    Wanda: "Yep."

    Brendan: (Stares at Wally.) "Are you ready to catch a Pokemon?"

    Wally: (Answering with a full energy of voice.)
    "Of course! I'm ready!"

    (The three of them hear a Pokemon cry.)

    Brendan: "Hmm... that voice."

    (A Ralts appear, in front of them.)

    Brendan: (Asks Wally.) "Do you want this Pokemon or not?"

    (Wally'seems nervous and gulp.)

    Wanda: "What's your answer Wally?"

    Wally: "Okay!"

    Ralts: ( Going to attack them) "Ralts!"

    Brendan: "I will hit him, you Wally will catch it! Go Mudkip!"

    Mudkip: "Mudkip!"

    Wally: "Got it, Brendan!"

    (Mudkip used Water gun!)

    Brendan; "Do it now, Wally!"

    Wally: "Got it!" (Throws a Pokeball.) (Wally deepen his voice.) I think I can't---"

    (Ralts has been captured!)

    Wally: "What? I got him? (Jumps.) "Oh yeah!"

    Wanda: "Good job, Wally!"

    Wally: (Looks at Brendan.) "Without you, I can't catch Ralts! Thanks, Brendan!"

    Brendan: (Smiles) "I will go now to Rustorbo City, See you there!" (Brendan walks across the road to Rustorbo City.)

    Wanda: "I must go now, and tell your mother your ready. Oh! I forgot, I will give you these, Skating Shoes!" (Smiles as she give it to Wally.) "Bye!"

    Wally: "Bye!" (Waves his hands, as he and his cousin say goodbye to each other.)

    Wally: (Gets the Pokeball and look at Ralts with a smile face.) "Well, it seems our journey starts here!"

    Ralts: (Smiles) 'Ralts!"

    ???: "Humph! A Pokemon trainer!"

    Wally: "Who is that?"

    (A two horns and a red clothes with a Magma symbol to it's hat and Chest appears.)

    Team Magma Grunt: "I'm a grunt from organization called Team Magma! I am here to find a man holding a package on his hand. Have you seen him?" (He suddenly stares to someone.)

    Man: "Oh no!"

    Man: (Hides on Wally's back) "You're a trainer right? Please, save me!"

    Team Magma Grunt: "You think you can beat me, kid? No one has won on Team Magma Grunts."

    Wally: "Well, you say battle? Okay here it is! Go Ralts!" (Sound become Battle theme song)

    Team Magma Grunt: "Haha! That's no match to my Pokemon, Go Poochyena!"

    Wally: "Whatever you say! Ralts attack!"

    Team Magma Grunt: "Poochyena use Howl!"

    Poochyena: "Poochyena!!"

    Ralts: (Attacks Poochyena.)

    Team Magma Grunt: "Not bad! Poochyena use Tackle!"

    Poochyena: "Poochyena!" (Attacks Ralts!)

    Wally: (He suddenly surprised!) "What? It's like Ralt's attack!"

    Team Magma Grunt: "Your Ralts and my Poochyena attack is called Tackle."

    Wally: (Thinks) "I see."

    Wally: "Use Tackle! Maximum damage!"

    Ralts: (Nods) "Ralts!"

    (They clashed and a light appears and Poochyena is unable to battle!)

    (Ralts win!)

    Team Magma Grunt: "Gah! I can't believe it! Next time I will be strong, and I will do something on Rustorbo!" ( He runs fast to the Petalburg Woods!)

    Man: "Thanks! But no time to celebrate he will go to Rustorbo! This is crisis, Here's a reward for saving me! A great ball!"

    Wally: "Thanks!"

    Man: "I gotta hurry! Bye!" (Runs fast.)

    Wally: "Bye!"

    Wally: "That guy just said Rustorbo?"

    (Wally remembers something.)
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Brendan: (Smiles) "I will go now to Rustorbo City, See you there!" (Brendan walks across the road to Rustorbo City.)
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    Wally: "I must go there!" (Wally runs fast.)

    Pokemon Narrator: "Will Wally able to reach Rustorbo and meet Brendan? But first he must go through Petalburg Woods!"


    TO BE CONTINUED.
    Last edited by brendan25; 31st December 2012 at 2:08 PM.

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

  2. #2
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    Chapter 2: Never Give up!
    With Special Scene!

    Pokemon of Wally: Ralts Lvl. 8

    Wally: (Wally is exhaust from running fast.) Oh no, what now?

    Bug Catcher Fred: Well, why don't we battle?

    Wally: (Thinking what to do.) "What should I do? Train Ralts or Go to Rustorbo? But I don't know what way is Rustorbo, so I gotta battle this guy."

    Wally: (Answers with a full energy of voice.) "Okay! I accept your challenge!"

    Bug Catcher Fred: "Hah! I thought you gonna refuse! I won't let you beat me!"

    Wally: "I'm counting on you!" (Wally kiss Ralt's Pokeball.) "Go Ralts!"

    Ralts: (Smiles) "Ralts!"

    Bug Catcher Fred: "Humph! Go Nincada!"

    Nincada: "Nin! da!"

    Wally: (Wally is shocked!) "Woah! A Bug Pokemon!"

    Wally: "Anyways, Ralts use Tackle!"

    Bug Catcher Fred: ''Use Growl!"

    Nincada: (Growls.) "Nincada!"

    (Ralts Attack fell!)

    Wally: "Go faster, Ralts!"

    Ralts: (Nods) "Ralts!"

    Wally & Bug Catcher Fred: "What?"

    (Suddenly Nincada confuse! This was doing by Ralts, what attack could it be?)

    Wally: "Ra...Ralts confuse Nincada!?"

    Wally: "I know something about that! Confu...Confuse...Confusion!"

    Bug Catcher Fred: "Ehehehe, it's not very effective!"

    Wally: "Wha--? You mean it's only little damage?"

    Bug Catcher Fred: "Yep, because Bug, Dark, and Ghost are super effective on Psychic like your Pokemon!"

    Wally: (look at Ralts) Don't worry. let's do our best! We won't give up"

    Ralts: (Nods) "Ralts!" (Smiles on Wally.)

    Bug Catcher Fred: "Why won't you give up?!"

    Wally: (Smiles) "Ralts, Tackle now!"

    Bug Catcher Fred: "Give up now!"

    (Ralts and Nincada clashed!)

    Wally: "Cuz what I said earlier, I won't give up! Because I will never get back on my word! That's my style!"

    Bug Catcher Fred: "What?" (Face of BC Fred is shown.)

    Nincada: (faints) "Ninn..cada."

    (Nincada is unable to battle! Ralts win!)

    Wally: "I'm so proud of you!" (Hugs Ralts.)

    Ralts: "Ralts!" (Smiles)

    Bug Catcher Fred: "Ugh, come back Nincada." (Goes to Wally.) "Here, $150 reward for beating me."

    Wally: "Wow! Thank you!" (Thinking) "I see, when I win to a Trainer Battle, I will get money!"

    Bug Catcher: "You taught me something that my father said to me too."

    Wally: "Huh?"

    (BC Fred's said to Wally the story.)
    --------------------------------------------------------
    Bug Catcher Pro Freddie: "Son, today were gonna catch bugs."

    Little Fred: "Oh yeah!"

    (After they catch bug Pokemons, someone appears and punch the stomach of BC Pro Freddie.)

    Little Fred: (Crying) "Dad! Are you okay!?"

    Bug Catcher Pro Freddie: "I'm okay, son..cough cough!"
    (Bleeding)

    ???: "You're dad's going to die! Hahaha!!"

    Little Fred: (Stares at Mysterious guy) "Shut up!" (Looks at BC Pro Freddie) "Dad! This is my fault, only I can punch them, but I'm too weak!" (crying)

    Bug Catcher Pro Freddie: "Son, this is my last words for... you. Never.. Give u.p! (BC Pro Freddie die.)

    Bug Catcher Fred: "Dad!!!!!!!!"
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Wally: Don't worry, just I said earlier...

    Bug Catcher Fred: (Fred is shock as he remembers his father's last words for him.)

    Wally & Imaginary Bug Catcher Pro Freddie: "Don't give up! Raise your Pokemon hardly!"

    Bug Catcher Fred: (smiles) "I will do it, Dad. Just for you. (Looks at Wally.) "Thanks Wally, I will train my Pokemon harder! Good Luck on your journey!"

    (Wally runs as he say goodbye to Fred.)

    (Suddenly a man with shades appear.)

    ???: "You got a Ralts, huh? I'm searching for strong trainers, My name is Scott, nice to meet you."

    Wally: "Nice to meet you too. My name is Wally."

    Scott: "Well, in your last fight with that Bug Catcher, you got potential to be the candidate for Champion, but I see in your eyes you're still not ready to face the crisis in the Hoenn."

    Wally: "Like the Team Magma?"

    Scott: (Scott is astonish!) "You know them?"

    Wally: "Yep, I battle one of their grunts."

    Scott: "I see." (I clearly underestimate this kid so far, but..) Wally, I know your a Pokemon Lover, but do you have the takes to save the Hoenn from those bad guys?

    Wally: (Smiles and Shouts with a full energy of voice.) "Of course! For the Pokemon and for the Hoenn!"

    Scott: "If you really meant it, you must beat first the Gym Leader In Rustorbo City, but she's not there in the Gym so you gotta wait for her."

    Wally: "Got it sir! I will wait for her!" (Smiles)

    Scott: "Good Luck, Wally! Good-bye, take care!"

    Wally: "Bye, Sir Scott"

    Pokemon Narrator: "Another challenge for Wally in Rustorbo, when he and Brendan promised to meet each other at Rustorbo (Wally running, Brendan, and Team Magma grunt is shown) Will Wally able to reach and save Rustorbo or Team Magma will succeed to their plans?

    TO BE CONTINUED

    SPECIAL SCENE:

    Brendan: "Welcome to my own TV Show. Our today's guest is Wally."

    Wally: "Hello, Brendan. I hear we're going to talk about the events in Rustorbo in the next chapter!"

    Brendan: "Yep, and I hear you won't be battling the Gym Leader because it's close."

    Wally: "Yeah, I accepted it, and I heard the Team Magma Grunt will have 2 Pokemons and will call his comrade."

    Brendan: "That kind of idea is noob! Is he gay? The answer is Yes. Because calling a comrade is gay! Hahahaha!"

    Wally: "Excuse me, weren't you calling me in the Rusturf Tunnel because you need help in the next chapter? So that means you're a gay!"

    Brendan: "What did you say??"

    Wally: "Forget what I said!"

    (And so the TV Show is end.)

    Calvin: "Ahahaha! They are saying the scenes that would happen in the next chapter!"

    THE END.
    Last edited by brendan25; 20th August 2012 at 7:00 AM.

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

  3. #3
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    Default

    Okay, firstly: posting 'I like this' or 'I wish I could meet you irl', etc, are spammy posts that break the fanfiction rules. Please say a few sentences about the story. What did you like in particular? Why? What about stuff you didn't like? What about characters? And so forth. That way you offer the author more useful feedback.

    This is much improved over the first version (spacing is nice, as it is much more readable, it follows more script conventions, etc) so I will leave open for now. That said there are some other simple things to fix first. Breaking it down:

    - spelling and grammar. Be sure to run your story though a spell/grammar checker and proofread before posting, preferably after taking a break when you finish writing the chapter (easier to spot your own mistakes that way). For instance:
    Wally: (Wakes up and yawn noisily.) "Good Morning World!" (His mother knocks the door.)
    There's no need to capitalise every word there - morning is not a proper noun, and neither is 'world'. IE it should be "Good morning, world!" (Also added in the comma for a pause in speech but that's more a finer detail.) 'His mother knocks the door' sounds a bit off too; you want 'knocks on the door' instead.
    Wally: (Wally is surprise.) "Oh really? I will ready my things!"
    surprised, not surprise. (Unless he is a surprise. =p) Also 'I will ready my things' sounds a bit odd to be said, especially from a boy to boot.

    That's just a couple picked from the opening part of the first one, so there's more to look out for yourself. I'd suggest taking the time to edit them before writing new stuff (after all readers begin judging your work from the first part they read, so you'd want to make that as good as possible. If you're unsure on stuff consider getting a beta reader to help you check stuff before it gets posted.

    - description. Or rather there's a lack thereof atm. We don't know much about the setting, what people look like, etc. Be sure to add in descriptions of places whenever they come up, even for the script format. Try to include some as well with stage directions. For instance, rather than say 'Wally is surprised', describe something that would show the reader that fact instead (e.g. 'Wally gasps.', 'Wally covers his mouth and stares for a moment.', etc). Even a small bit makes it more enjoyable for the reader, and there's no need to state facts bluntly with writing. Mind you you can do that too at times, but not all the time.

    - don't try to be too formulatic. That is, following the anime format and the events of the game is not the best idea in itself if that is all your fic does. To put it in another way, you'd need to offer a reason for the reader to read your fic as opposed to just watching the show or play the game themselves and pretend they are Wally. That's something you're going to have to figure out yourself in how you write it and what happens in your story, but the beginning is fairly similar at a glance so it is something to consider.

    Lastly, the special scene was not that funny - an interchange of 'you are gay' 'no u' is rather immature and moreso kinda rude for other people to, so I would suggest rethinking that.

    Good luck with the rest of the fic.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

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  4. #4
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    Chapter 3: Training Madness! Part 1

    Pokemon of Wally: Ralts Lvl. 10(As he battle Bug Catcher Fred)

    Wally: (He's now on Petalburg Woods) "Finally!" (He hears something) "Who is it?"

    (A shade appears, and it's a Pokemon, and it's a Poochyena!)

    ---------------
    Poochyena's level: 7
    ---------------

    Wally: "Well, you seem cool! So I will catch ya! Go Ralts!"

    Ralts: "Ralts!"

    Poochyena: (With an angry face.) "Poochyena!"

    Wally: "Heh! If you're ready, take this! Ralts use Tackle!"

    Ralts: (nods, and attack Poochyena.)

    Poochyena: "Poochyena!" (Howls and dodge it quickly!)

    Wally: (Wally is astonish!) "Wha--? So fast!" (Stares at Poochyena)"Well, if you're going to be serious, we will be serious too!"

    Wally: "I know this will be not effective, but I will confuse you!"

    Poochyena: "Poochyena?" (Seems Poochyena says "What do you mean?")

    Wally: "Poochyena, let me clear this to you!" "My name is Wally, and I'm a Pokemon lover! I will catch you no matter what!"

    Poochyena: (Poochyena is getting ready.)

    Ralts: "Ralts!"

    Wally "Let's get this over with! Ralts use Confusion!"

    Ralts: (nods and smiles.) "Ralts!"

    Poochyena: "Poochyena!?" (He's confuse and attack himself.) "Poochy..."

    Wally" "Now's our chance!" (Throws Pokeball.)

    (Poochyena has been captured!)

    Wally: "Capture done!"

    (A boy appears, and has the same hair and hair color.)

    ???: "Hmmm.... Will you look at that, a Pokemon lover, eh?" (Jumps down from the tree and appears.) "My name is Drew."

    Wally: "Hi.. Nice.. to meet you."

    Drew: (stares and smiles.) "C'mon don't be shy. I see a talent on you... but I guess you don't have beauty for a Pokemon contest." "Well, if you don't mind... I will join your journey." (whistles.)

    Wally: (Wally is shocked.) "Really?"

    Drew: "Yep, but you must beat the Gym leader of Rustorbo . But actually..."

    Wally: "Yep, she's not there. i think she's helping to stop Team magma, but I got a feeling she's need help."

    Drew: "Hmph, I know you got two Pokemons, but you think they can stop the Team Magma?" "I will train you, 'cuz I got a Pokemon that I need to train too."

    Wally: "Hah."

    Drew: "Actually, not funny. I'm serious, so let's begin." (Release a Pokemon.) "Go Roselia!"

    Roselia: "Roselia!"

    -------------
    Roselia's level: 11
    -------------

    Wally: "Go Poochyena!"

    Poochyena: "Poochyena!"

    Drew: "Hmph, as I just expected, you will use you're newly catch Pokemon with confuse status."

    Wally: "I won't let you beat me! For the Hoenn, I will train to beat the Team Magma!"

    Drew: "Bring it on!"

    (The battle starts!)

    Wally: "Use howl! And after that, use Tackle!"

    Poochyena: (howls.) "Poochyena!"(Poochyena is not confuse anymore.)

    Drew: "Don't get excited! Roselia, stun pore!"

    Roselia: "Roselia!" ( A pore suddenly appears, and Poochyena touch it.)

    Poochyena: "Pooch..yena?" (He's numb and can't move!"

    Wally: "Huh? Why won't you move?)

    Drew: "That's the effect of Stun pore. Whoever touch it will be paralyze."

    Wally: "Argh! Now what?"

    Drew: "You see? That's the reason why I can't let you go and fight Team Magma. Don't get too much confidence."

    Wally: " I know!" (Remembers something.)

    ------------------------------------------------
    Bug Catcher Fred: "Why won't you give up?!"

    Wally: "Cuz what I said earlier, I won't give up! Because I will never get back on my word! That's my style!"
    -----------------------------------------------

    (Now.)
    Wally: "......" (I shouldn't....)

    -----------------------------------------------
    Brendan: "Do it now, Wally!"
    -----------------------------------------------

    Wally: "I will never... ever... give up!"

    Drew: (Drew is shocked!) "That word!" (Just like Brendan, and Bug Catcher Pro Freddie!)

    Wally: "Hey! Attention here!"

    (Roselia faints.)

    Drew: "What?!" (I was distract by that word.)

    Wally: "Nice one, Poochyena!"

    Drew: "Hmph, I just get distracted. Here's the real show!"

    Wally : "Huh?"

    Drew: "Go.....!"

    Pokemon Narrator: "Who is this Pokemon that Drew will sent out? Will Wally and Drew finish the training fast? You gotta stay tune here!"

    TO BE CONTINUED.
    Last edited by brendan25; 24th August 2012 at 12:39 PM.

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

  5. #5

    Default

    Hello there!
    I must say the plot of this fanfic is good and i like the ideas you are coming up with, however, the way it is written needs a lot of work. There are many issues i have found in all 3 chapters(though it is steadily improving) but will only point out a few here
    (She give the Pokeball to Wally.)
    This she be 'She gives the Pokeball to Wally'. I have noticed that you have failed to conjugate your verbs sevral times.

    Brendan: (He get off his hand to Wanda's) I'm sorry, I thought you were Wally. Anyways, (Stares at Wally.) I heard to my Dad, that I you want a Pokemon, and Dad said I will help you catch a Pokemon. Wanda, have you given the Pokeball to him?"
    this quote has a lot of issues in terms of basic english:
    1.' (He get off his hand to Wanda's)' this makes no sense, if it means what i think it means it should be worded like this He takes his hand away from Wanda or simply He stops holding Wanda's hand
    2. A full stop is not required inside brackets
    3. 'I heard to my Dad, that I you want a Pokemon' again this makes no sense and is completely incorrect in terms of grammar. A suggestion would be My dad said you wanted a Pokemon
    4. ' Dad said I will help you catch a Pokemon' though this is not as incorrect as the other points and the meaning is clear, unless his dad is uber strict the word 'will' should be replaed by the word should

    Team Magma Grunt: "Your Ralts and my Poochyena attack is called Tackle."
    On a seperate note i wouldn't have thought a Magma grunt would help a trainer out, especially in the middle of a battle. Plus, it is also worded incorrect

    Away from chapter 1, the way Drew suddenly decided he was going to travel with Wally was completely random, with the two of them being complete starngers and not even having shared a proper conversation.

    Also there is a notable lack of description of areas, the only real description was that of the team magma grunt. Description helps readers picture the story and without it there is is only a bunch of people saying stuff.

    The best pieces of advice i could give you would be to describe lots more and check, check and check again for grammar issues. Do this and your story could become excellent as the plot is a great backbone. GOOD LUCK!


    p.s. sorry if it seems that i was a little harsh
    Everything seems normal, with Joe and Adam venturing on their quest through Kanto, but what is the mysterious Team Storm planning?

    Pokemon: Kanto Legends

    Come on the Mighty Infernape!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by infernape100 View Post
    Hello there!
    I must say the plot of this fanfic is good and i like the ideas you are coming up with, however, the way it is written needs a lot of work. There are many issues i have found in all 3 chapters(though it is steadily improving) but will only point out a few here
    This she be 'She gives the Pokeball to Wally'. I have noticed that you have failed to conjugate your verbs sevral times.

    this quote has a lot of issues in terms of basic english:
    1.' (He get off his hand to Wanda's)' this makes no sense, if it means what i think it means it should be worded like this He takes his hand away from Wanda or simply He stops holding Wanda's hand
    2. A full stop is not required inside brackets
    3. 'I heard to my Dad, that I you want a Pokemon' again this makes no sense and is completely incorrect in terms of grammar. A suggestion would be My dad said you wanted a Pokemon
    4. ' Dad said I will help you catch a Pokemon' though this is not as incorrect as the other points and the meaning is clear, unless his dad is uber strict the word 'will' should be replaed by the word should


    On a seperate note i wouldn't have thought a Magma grunt would help a trainer out, especially in the middle of a battle. Plus, it is also worded incorrect

    Away from chapter 1, the way Drew suddenly decided he was going to travel with Wally was completely random, with the two of them being complete starngers and not even having shared a proper conversation.

    Also there is a notable lack of description of areas, the only real description was that of the team magma grunt. Description helps readers picture the story and without it there is is only a bunch of people saying stuff.

    The best pieces of advice i could give you would be to describe lots more and check, check and check again for grammar issues. Do this and your story could become excellent as the plot is a great backbone. GOOD LUCK!


    p.s. sorry if it seems that i was a little harsh
    nah. it's okay

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

  7. #7
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    wen are you going to post Chapter 3 part 2 ? cause i just start reading and then i cant stop
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  8. #8
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    Chapter 4: Training Madness Part 2!

    Current Pokemon of Wally: Ralts Lvl. 11(as of Chapter 3) Poochyena Lvl. 10(as of Chapter 3)

    Drew: "Go...! Kecleon!"

    ------------------------
    Kecleon Lvl.10
    ------------------------

    Kecleon: "Kecleon!"

    Wally: "Never seen that Pokemon before."

    Drew: "Kecleon, standby!"

    Kecleon: (nods.) "Leon... Kec!"

    Wally: "Wha--? Why don't make commands to your Pokemon? Well, it seems you want to lose." "Poochyena use Tackle!"

    Poochyena: "Yena!" (Attacks with a high speed.)

    Drew: "Kecleon, scary face!"

    Kecleon: "Kec! Leon..." (Scary's Poochyena.)

    Poochyena: "Poochy!!!" (Runs and tries to get the Pokeball.)
    Wally: "We need to fight him! Don't be scary you need to--"

    (Kecleon attacks Poochyena!)

    Wally: "What!?"

    Drew: "Not paying attention, huh?" "Kecleon use Tackle again!"

    Poochyena: "Yena..."

    Wally: "....." (shaking) "I.."
    (remembers something.)

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Wally: "Cuz what I said earlier, I won't give up! Because I will never get back on my word! That's my style!"
    ---------------------------------------------------

    Drew: "You don't have potential and beauty to your Pokemon."

    Wally: "Heh."

    Drew: "Hmm?"

    Wally: "I don't think you know this move, Poochyena." "Poocheyna use BITE!"

    Poochyena: "Poochy... ena!" (A glow of light on Poochyena appears.)

    Drew: "That light!"

    (Poochyena grows a big body and long tail.)

    Wally: (He's holding a device)"Wait, that's Mightyena!"

    Drew: (surprised.) "Huh? How do you know that? You don't have Pokedex!"

    Wally: "Heh." (remembers something.)
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Brendan: "My dad said you wanted a Pokemon, and Dad said I will help you catch a Pokemon. Wanda, have you given the Pokeball to him?" "Wally, Here's the Pokedex."

    Wally: "Wow, thanks!"
    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Drew: "Gah! Kecleon use Headbutt"

    Kecleon: "Kecleon!"

    Wally: "Continue the attack!"

    Mightyena: "Mighty!"

    (Mightyena opens his mouth with sharp teeth.)

    (Kecleon using his full power of Headbutt.)

    (Suddenly..)

    Drew & Wally: "???"

    (Both Pokemons are knockout.)

    Drew: "I see you got that potential." (Thinks.) "But not beauty!"

    Wally: "Thanks!"

    (And Drew suddenly says with a serious voice."

    Drew: "I will not travel with you anymore."

    Wally: "What? Why?"

    Drew: "Because I am a Team Magma member."

    Wally: "But? I thought you--"

    Drew: "I was sent here to spy you after you defeated one of my mates."

    ???: "You beat the Team Magma member? We will ask you something."

    (Appears.)

    Drew: "You!"

    Aqua Admin Shelly: "That's right, we're the Team Aqua."

    Drew: "What's your problems with Team Magma?"

    Team Aqua Grunt: "We're not after you or Team Magma, we want the kid."

    Wally: "What?"

    Pokemon Narrator: "What's Team Aqua plan for Wally? Stay tune!"

    TO BE CONTINUED.
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    Pokemon Episode #754
    The Junior Cup, Site of Partings and Encounters!

    Airdate: 06/09/2012

    For more information , go to Serebii.Net.
    Last edited by brendan25; 31st August 2012 at 1:48 PM.

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


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    Chapter 5: The First Gym Battle!

    Current Pokemons of Wally: Mightyena Lvl.15(as of chapter 4) Ralts Lvl. 17(as of chapter 4.)

    Team Aqua Admin Shelly: "We're here to--" (beeps) "Hello, boss?"

    Team Aqua Leader ???: "Shelly, both of you must go to Slateport now!"

    Team Aqua Admin Shelly: "Got it, boss." (beeps) "Hey, let's go."

    Team Aqua Grunt: "Got it, ma'am."

    Team Aqua Admin Shelly: "Good." (Looks at Wally & Drew) "I'm finished on both of you. Don't ever follow us!"

    (runs outside to the Petalburg Woods exit.)

    Drew: "Hmph, I will leave you here now."

    Wally: "....."

    (Drew walks as he leaves Wally on the road."

    Wally: "Never mind that! I must hurry!"

    (He runs and see's an exit.)

    Wally: "Almost there!" *huff* *huff* "Must hurry!"

    (and Wally reaches Rustorbo City and go to the northeast of Rustorbo and see's a warning.)

    Wally: "Huh?" (he reads it.) 'You need a CUT move to cut this tree.' "I see, so how can get a CUT?"

    ???: "You need a CUT move?" "Well, I have one, here." (Gives the Cd.) "I was looking for a Pokemon here, anyways, my name is Barry, I'm from other region. Nice to meet you."

    Wally: "My name is Wally, nice to meet you too!" "And thanks for this! Now I can use Cut!"

    Barry: "You can't do that, you must have a badge."

    Wally: (Surprised.) "A badge?"

    Barry: "I heard from those people, that there is a Gym here. And there is stronger trainer than a normal trainer called a Gym Leader."

    Wally: "Wow, a Gym Leader. I must see for it and battle him or her, or whatever gender the Gym Leader is."

    Barry: "Well, good luck. I must go now, bye!"

    Wally: (Happily says bye to Barry.) "Bye!"

    (Wally searches the Gym everywhere and finally....)

    Wally: "Gotcha! I will beat you Gym Leader!"

    (Goes inside the Gym and been amaze of what he see's on the room.)

    Wally : "Wow! Cool!"

    ???: "So you're here to battle me?"

    Wally: "Uh, yes."

    Roxanne: "Let's not tarry, hurry up."

    Wally: (happily answers...) "Got it!"

    (And so... they're preparing for the battle.)

    Referee: "This is a Gym Battle, on the left is the Gym Leader Miss Roxanne and the challenger on the right side is Pokemon Trainer & Lover, Wally." "The rules of this match, is two trainers can't change Pokemons while battling. They can their Pokemon if the first round is finished!" (Waves the hand.) "Begin!"

    Roxanne: "Okay here I come! Onix, standby for battle!"

    Onix: "Onnixx!"

    ----------------------
    Onix Lvl. 14
    ----------------------

    Wally: "Onix? What Pokemon is that?" (Gets the Pokedex.) "Onix, a Rock Snake Pokemon. It burrows through the ground at speed of 50 mph while feeding on large boulders."

    Wally: "Rock Snake Pokemon? Hmm... Do your best! Go, Mightyena!"

    Mightyena: "Yena!"

    Roxanne: "How amusing, Onix used Wrap!"

    Wally: "Mightyena, dodge it!"

    Mightyena: "Might!" (dodges.) "Yena?"

    (Mightyena was caught by Onix swrap attack .)

    Poochyena: "Mightyenaa!!"

    Wally: "Gah! Mightyena used Bite!"

    Roxanne: "I won't let you! Onix released Mightyena and use Tackle!"

    Wally: "Mightyena, do that!"

    Roxanne: "Huh? Are you crazy to continue that attack?"

    Wally: "No, I'm not."

    Roxanne: "What?"

    (Onix release him, and Mightyena jumps and use Bite!)

    Onix: "Onixxxxxx!!!"

    Wally: "Nice one, Mightyena!"

    Mightyena: (smiles) "Mighty!"

    Roxanne: "Come back and have some rest." (smiles.) "It's showtime! Go Nosepass!"

    Nosepass: "Nosepass!"

    --------------------
    Nosepass Lvl. 16
    --------------------

    Wally: "Nosepass, huh? Let me check it." (Gets the Pokedex.) "Nosepass, a Compass Pokemon. When endangered, it may protect itself by raising it's magnetism and drawing iron objects to it's body." "Oh, he's a Rock-type Pokemon, huh?" "Well then. Go back Mightyena! Go Ralts!"

    Ralts: "Ralts!"

    Roxanne: "Are you crazy? Hmm, well, if that's what you want, I will give what you want, but you may lose."

    Wally: (Shouts.) "We will not lose! We will do this for the badge!"

    Roxanne: (Simles) "Heh, well, enough talking. Nosepass used Rock Throw!"

    Nosepass: "Nossepass!"

    Wally: "Ralts, Growl!"

    Ralts: "Raltss!"

    Roxanne: "Nosepass, add some more rocks!"

    Nosepass: (nods.) "Nose!"

    Wally: "Don't let her!" "Ralts use Confusion!"

    Ralts: "Ralts!"

    Roxanne: "Just I expected!"

    Ralts: "Ralts?" (Ralts is been confused!)

    Wally: "What happen to you? How come you got confused?"

    Roxanne: "Well, didn't you know that you're Ralts is too tired to use Confusion?"

    Wally: "Wha?"
    (remembers something.)
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Wally: "Nice one, Ralts! You beat his Roselia!"

    Wally: "Nice, Ralts. You beat his Poochyena!"
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Wally: "I forgot to go to Pokemon Center." "But, even though we can still battle! Right, Ralts?" (Smiles)

    Ralts: (smiles.) "Ralts!"

    Wally: "Now, Ralts! Used Tackle!"

    Roxanne: (Surprised.) "Tackle!?"

    Wally: (smiles.) "Heh."

    Roxanne: "So fast! But he's Ralts is confused, how come?" (Roxanne looks at Ralts.) "!!!" "So he's Ralts used Tackle while---"

    (Nosepass falls.)

    Roxanne: "What? I can't believe I was tricked by you!" "But, nevermind that here's the Stone Badge! It can obey the Pokemon you've traded, and can use CUT outside! And here's the money $1200, with TM 39 Rock Tomb!"

    Wally: (smiles.) "Thanks and... WE GOT THE STONE BADGE!"

    Roxanne: "Hah, anyways, good luck on your journey!"

    Wally: "Thanks! Good-bye!" (waves hands.)

    Roxanne: (waves hands too.) "Bye!"

    Pokemon Narrator: "Wally gets his first badge! But, can Wally able to reach Team Magma? or will something happen to Rustorbo? Find out on next chapter! Stay tune!"

    TO BE CONTINUED.

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

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    Drew a member of Team Magma??? And Barry appearing??? Are these canon with the already existing characters, or are these new ones??? I'm very confused...

    WOW! comparing from your first chapter to your latest chapter, Grammar and Spelling has improved significantly! I wasn't able to find any mistakes!
    PM list please so I can keep track of how you're doing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dirkac View Post
    Drew a member of Team Magma??? And Barry appearing??? Are these canon with the already existing characters, or are these new ones??? I'm very confused...

    WOW! comparing from your first chapter to your latest chapter, Grammar and Spelling has improved significantly! I wasn't able to find any mistakes!
    PM list please so I can keep track of how you're doing.
    Got it, and thanks!

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

  12. #12
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    My latest chapter! I hope you will enjoy this because Wally with team up with Brendan and Barry!
    Chapter 6: Triple Threat!

    Current Pokemon of Wally: Ralts Lvl. 19(as of chapter 5) Mightyena Lvl. 18(as of chapter 5)

    Wally: "Now, it's time to train CUT, Mightyena!"

    Mightyena: "Mighty!"

    (Wally train with Mightyena at the back of Pokemon Center.)

    (...And he's Mightyena finally learn CUT.)

    Wally: *huff* *huff* "Not bad! But let's try it on the tree on the northeast of Rusturbo."

    Mightyena: (nods and smiles) "..Yena!"

    (And finally, he reach the tree.)

    Wally: "Mightyena, use CUT!"

    Mightyena: "Might... yena!"

    (The tree is been cut by Mightyena and the leaves were scattered.)

    Wally: (smiles.) "We did it--"

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: "Battle? But your only kids and we're three."

    Barry: "Whatever, we can beat you!"

    Wally: "What the? Team Magma?"

    Drew: "Wally!?"

    Brendan: (smiles) "Heh, I knew you could pass Petalburg Woods."

    Barry: "Wally! Let's beat those bad guys! Are you ready?"

    Wally: "Yep! I'm ready for battle!"

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: "Enough talk, let's battle!"

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: "Go, Golbat! Crush those noobs!"

    Golbat: "Golbaattt!"

    ----------------------------
    Golbat Lvl. 21
    ---------------------------

    Drew: "Go, Roselia!"

    Roselia: "Rose!"

    ---------------------------
    Roselia Lvl. 19
    --------------------------

    Team Magma Grunt: "Time for payback on what you did to me on Petalburg Woods! Go, Poochyena!"

    Poochyena: "Poochyena!"

    -------------------------
    Poochyena Lvl.20
    ------------------------

    Barry: "You can't beat us! Go, Grotle!"

    Grotle: "Grotle!"

    ------------------------
    Grotle Lvl.18
    -----------------------

    Brendan: "I can't let Team Magma succeed to their plans! Go Marshtomp!"

    Marshtomp: "Marsh!"

    -----------------------
    Marshtomp Lvl. 21
    -----------------------

    Wally: "Just as Brendan said, I can't let you succeed! Go, Ralts!"

    Ralts: "Ralts!"

    Team Magma Grunt: "Go attack Ralts with Bite!"

    Poochyena: "Yena!"

    Barry: "Protect Ralts, Grotle!"

    Grotle: "Grotle!"

    Brendan: "Marshtomp, Mud shot to Roselia and Golbat!"

    Marshtomp: "Stomp!"

    Drew: "Roselia use Magic Leaf!"

    Roselia: "Roselia!" (Releases a Leaf with an extraordinary color.)

    Wally: "Use Confusion on Roselia!"

    Ralts: "Ralts!"

    Drew: (surprised) (Thinks.) "What? Wally never said anything to me, and just attack Roselia?"

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: (slaps) "Hey, pay attention at the battle."

    Drew: "I'm sorry, Roselia use Petal Dance!"

    Roselia: "Rose!" (Dances with petals.)

    Brendan & Barry & Wally: "Finish Poochyena!"

    Marshtomp & Grotle & Ralts: "Marsh.." "Grot!" "Ralts!"

    (Attacks Poochyena and become fainted.)

    Poochyena: "Poochyy.."

    Team Magma Grunt: "Noooo!!!"

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: "Geez." (chews bubblegum and bloated the bubble gum.) "What a noob, this battle is just getting started."

    Brendan: "Yeah, it really is."

    Wally: "Ralts?"

    (Ralts is light emitting.)

    Barry: "Woah! I think it's evolving!"

    Drew: "Hmph, if that's so, Roselia Tackle to Ralts."

    Barry: "I won't let you! Grotle use Sand Attack!"

    Grotle: "Grotle!" (kicks the sand to the face of Roselia.)

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: "Golbat use Wing Attack to Ralts!"

    Brendan: "How!? Her Golbat is--" (Brendan remembers something.) "She trick us and that's why I didn't see Golbat attack even once."

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: "Smart boy, but you will lose now!"

    Brendan: "Barry, let your Grotle back in your Pokeball. I needd to test something."

    Barry: "Geez, but I won't argue with you. Grotle return!"

    Drew: "What?"

    Wally: "Ralts is still light emitting."

    Brendan: "Hmm, so if her Golbat can use Dig, then I will use that move."

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: (Thinks.) "How could he know it? But..." "Golbat, now!"

    Brendan: "Marshtomp use Earthquake!"

    Marshtomp: "Stomp!" (Jumps and tread the ground. And the ground is shaking)

    Golbat: "Golbat!?"

    Team Magma Admin Tabitha: "Gah! Shouldn't continued that attack! Golbat escape from there!"

    (Golbat escapes, and Ralts is evolving into a...)

    Kirlia: "Kirlia!"

    Wally: "You evolved to a Kirlia!"

    Barry: "Wow, from the eyes of it, it's tougher than before."

    Drew & Team Magma Admin Tabitha: "Now!" (releases smoke!)

    All: *cough* *cough*

    Wally: "They escaped."

    Brendan: "But we have one of them."

    (30 minutes later.)

    Police: "Thank you for catching these guy. We will interrogate them as soon as we can."

    Wally: "Thank you."

    (Police enters the police car and drove to Rustorbo Police Department.)

    Barry: "Well, I guess I should go now. Good-bye, Wally!"

    Wally: "Good-bye!"

    (Barry leaves the route and passes trough Rustorbo.)

    Brendan: "Well, Wally good job earlier."

    Wally: "Thanks!"

    Brendan: "Here, a Poketch, or you can call it Poke watch. There is no stock of Pokenavs, so I get one for you from the other region."

    Wally: "Wow, thanks Brendan!"

    Brendan: "Let's go to the Pokemon Center, and heal our Pokemons."

    Wally: "Okay!"

    Pokemon Narrator: "Wally, Brendan and Barry defeated a grunt from Team Magma, and Tabitha and Drew escape. Will Wally meet Drew again? Find out on the next chapter! Stay tune!"

    TO BE CONTINUED.
    Last edited by brendan25; 3rd October 2012 at 9:18 AM.

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

  13. #13
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    Tabitha is a guy Brendan25 :P
    Also, my question still lingers. Is this the same Barry from DPPt, and is Drew the same one from the Anime?
    Also, Pokétch? I thought Hoenn had Pokenavs.
    PS, you seem to have a bit more grammar and spelling mistakes than in the previous chapter, such as "They escape" should be "They escaped.
    I like how you do a story of Wally, but his team is sure different than his RSE team. Say, is Wally still going to battle Brendan/May (I'm a little confused of which is supposed to prtray the main character) in Victory Road?

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    UPDATE ON Chapter 7! (Sorry if I didn't post the chapter 7 this 2 months passed

    *UPDATED*

    I add some updates too about the chapter 7.1: The New Year Special! Mr. Briney Missing!
    SPOILERS: Mr. Briney might be dead on this special chapter! May is having a crush on Wally!
    I HOPE YOU LIKE THE SPOILER!!


    NOTE: Our New year on asia will be on 5 hrs so I will post the Chapter 7 on 12:00 am! happy now!?

    HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
    Last edited by brendan25; 31st December 2012 at 2:06 PM.

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

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    It's not 2013! But I want to post it now! and guess what? it's a long chapter! hope you guys enjoy this special chapter!
    AND it's a NEW STYLE!

    Chapter 7: The New Year Special! May on the Bay!

    Pokemons of Wally:

    Mightyena- Lvl. 22 (As of Chapter 6)

    Kirlia- Lvl. 25 (as of chapter 6)
    __________________________________________________ ________
    Wally: "So, the next gym will be Dewford and---"

    ???: "Did you just say, Dewford?"

    Wally: "WHA--!? You surprised me! Who are you?"

    ???: "Oh, let me introduce myself, the name's May."

    Wally: "Hi, my name is Wally."

    ???: "There you are!"

    Wally: "Huh?"

    Mr. Stone: "You must be Wally?"

    Wally: "Yes, sir. Wait a minute you're Mr. Stone, the father of Steven!"

    Mr. Stone: "You know him?"

    Wally: "Yes! I met him when I was a child" (remembers something)

    ----------------------------------
    LOCATION: Petalburg Woods

    Wally: "Where am I? Am I lost?"

    Steven: "Hey, there.... Are you lost?"

    Wally: "Who are you, mister?"

    Steven: "My name is Steven, I collect rare stone. Kid, I will bring you to the exit."
    ----------------------------------------------

    Mr. Stone: "Wahahahaha!!! I knew my son will do such thing." "Anyways, here a letter, you must give it to him, and he's on the Dewford."

    Wally: "Perfect! So, where will I find him there?"

    Mr. Stone: "At the Granite Cave-- (looks to Wally's Poke'cth.) I see you got one. Well, I'm going back to the building, and good luck winning to the new gym leader!"

    (Mr. Stone walking down the road to the Stone Building)

    Wally: "New Gym Leader? Wow, so there is a new gym leader on Dewford."

    May: "Umm, Wally, can I ask you something?"

    Wally: "Yeah?"

    May: "Can.... I.. join .. um... with you?"

    Wally: "Of course! and why your shy when you ask it?"

    May: "Um.. nothing. Anyways, if we will go to Dewford, we need to look for Mr. Briney."

    Wally: "Oh yes! Mr. Briney!"

    ???: "Wail!!!!"

    Wally: "Huh?"

    Wailmer: "Wail.....!!!! merr!!!" (Wailmer cries)

    May: "It's wounded! We need to bring it to the Pokemon Center!"

    Wailmer: "MER!!!"(Attacks Wally)

    Wally: "Woah!"

    Wailmer: (exhausting) "Wail.... Wail.."

    Wally: "I will check the Pokedex."

    (opens the Pokedex)

    -beep!-

    Pokedex: "Wailmer, a ball whale Pokemon. On sunny days, it lands on beaches to bounce like a ball and play. It spouts water from its nose. When it sucks in a large volume of seawater, it becomes like a big, bouncy ball. It eats a ton of food daily."

    -beep!-

    Wally: "A ball whale Pokemon? It will--"

    Wailmer: (heals with it's sitrus berry.) "Wail!!!"

    May: "Look at that! It sucks a large volume of seawater, were doom!"

    Wally: "Go, Mightyena!"

    Mightyena: "Mighty!"

    Wally: "Mightyena, use Bite!"

    Mightyena: "Yena!" (tries to bite Wailmer, but...)

    Wailmer: "Wailmer!" (Uses water gun!"

    Mightyena: "Mighty!"

    Wally: "Don't give up. Use bite once more!"

    Mightyena: "Mightye---" "Mighty!?"

    Wally: "Huh?"

    Mightyena: "yena...." (faints)

    Wally: "No way!"

    May: "Don't worry! I will take care of that! Go, Swellow, standby for battle!"

    Wally: "Woah, a Swellow."

    ----------------------
    Swellow Lvl. 25
    ----------------------

    (opens Pokedex)

    -beeps-

    Pokedex: "Swellow, a Swallow Pokemon. If its two tail feathers are standing at attention, it is proof of good health. It soars elegantly in the sky."

    -beeps-

    Wally: "It's good health when it's two tails feather are standing at attention? I see."

    May: (Thinks.) ("Wally! I hope you're watching me!")

    Wally: "Uh, who's your whispering at?"

    May: "Hah! It's nothing."

    Swellow: "LOWW!!!"

    May: "Aw, shucks! Sorry, Swellow!" "Swellow, use aerial ace!"

    Swellow: (Flies very fast as a speed of sound and turns and attacking Wailmer very fast.)

    Wailmer: "Wailmer!" (Shoots water from it's mouth.)

    Wally: "Wah! It use Water Gun!"

    May: huff huff! "How come he can use a move like that while I use a very fast move?"

    Wally: "May! I will take care of it, and I will catch it too!"

    May: "Sure. Go back Swellow!"

    Wally: "Here comes! Go, Kirlia!"

    Kirlia: "Kirlia!"

    Wally: "Kirlia used Pokeball!"

    May; "Huh!? What kind of move is that!?"

    Kirlia: "Kirli!" (levitates the pokeball and throws it to wailmer!)

    Wailmer; "Wailmer!"

    (The Pokeball took him!)

    *shaking*

    Wally: "gulp!"

    BANG!

    (Wally caught Wailmer!)

    Wally: "Sweet!! I have a Wailmer!"

    May: "Good for you!"

    Wally: "Kirlia, Mightyena we have new partner! Hooray!"

    Narrator: As Wally's journey continues, somethings bad happen on Petalburg shore.

    Mr. Briney: "Who are you!? What do you want!?" (shaking)

    ???: "We came here to kill you!"

    Mr. Briney: "AHHHH!!!" (dies)

    Why did the strangers kill Mr. Briney? Find out next week! TO BE CONTINUE.

    __________________________________________________ ________
    HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS!!

    "Pokeballs are red, water is blue, I came here to search for you and I will catch you!"
    ~brendan25

    Current Team in Pokemon Y:


    3DS FC: 2895-7891-8754

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