Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Tyler's Johto Adventures

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Lumiose City
    Posts
    228

    Default Tyler's Johto Adventures

    This is about Tyler Dure's journey throughout Johto. He has also traveled to Unova along with Austin the Johto Champion. Krisi and Gabi are also characters from this universe. The member Mr. Munchlax also has Dale and Tucker as his characters. So here is chapter 1 of Tyler's Johto Adventures. Feel free to leave comments and advice. Chapter 1 might not be the most exciting chapter of this journey.



    Johto Chapter 1: Overslept

    Tyler Dure has just woken up at his house in Virbank City. He got up and checked his alarm clock. The clock read 8:30.

    “I’m late! Tyler got up grabbed his bag and left. But he forgot something important. He ran out of the house and got to the airport, which is in between Aspertia City and Virbank City, where he had learned that his plane had left. He turned around and sat down on a long bench depressed. Tyler noticed Krisi, The Kanto Champion, entertaining some little kids with his Pokémon. So Tyler got up and walked over to Krisi.

    “Hey Krisi,” said Tyler. Krisi turned around and waved. Krisi’s Charizard blew out a welcome Flamethrower.

    “Tyler, what’s wrong,” asked Krisi. He ordered Charizard to use Flamethrower and his Samurott to use Ice Beam, which created a mist when the two attacks collided.

    “I missed the plane to Johto,” said Tyler.

    “Well, wasn’t your friend Dale going?” Krisi brought out his pokéballs and withdrew his Charizard and Samurott.

    “I think Dale got on the plane already,” said Tyler.

    “Well here, use Charizard to fly to Johto.” He handed Tyler Charizard’s poke ball.

    “Won’t you need Charizard,” asked Tyler.

    “You need him more than I do.” Krisi said goodbye and left the airport.

    “Thanks,” Tyler said quietly. Tyler ran outside tossed Charizard’s pokéball onto the ground, and out popped Charizard in a bluish aura.

    “Charizard, can you fly me to Johto? Tyler looked at the orange dragon with wings.

    “CHAAAAARRR!” Charizard replied with a roar. He began flapping his wings and urged Tyler to climb onto his back. Tyler got on, and said “We’re going to Johto!”

    “CHAAARRRR!” Charizard blew a Flamethrower and set off. They flew for many miles above the Pacific Ocean, seeing mayn pokeon that Tyler had never seen before. But he did realize Cinnabar Island, he noticed that it was nearly destroyed. Then they flew past the Pokemon League, and that was when Tyler heard little whimpering noises. He turned around and on Charizard tail, was a basket full of newly-hatched Charmander eggs. Tyler panicked and asked Charizard why he had them. Charizard attempted to explain, but Tyler couldn’t understand Charizard. So Tyler grabbed the basket, and said back down. It was hard, since the Charmanders wouldn’t stop scratching him. But there was one Charmander which was just watching Tyler in awe.

    “Finally Krisi and Charizard both saw New Bark town and saw that a Dragonite was rampaging and firing Hyper Beams.

    “No…..” said Tyler as he flew right above the vast land of Johto.
    Black 2/Heartgold/X Trainer Card-


    Credits to Mr.Munchlax
    Name: Tyler Dure
    Status: Talking with Clemont, Bonnie, Prof. Sycamore, Alain, Emile, and Dale and his group
    Hometown: Virbank City, Unova, USA
    Idols: Krisi Jackson, Lance, Wallace, Cynthia, Alder, Tucker Satoshi, Austin

    "You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get." -MP

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    From the land down under...
    Posts
    7,070

    Default

    I'm afraid chapters need to be at least two pages long in word (check the fanfic rules). As this falls short, I'm going to have to close. Repost once you have everything in check, but don't rush it. (Proofread as well; generally your writing is clean but for example you have a missing quotation mark here:
    “Charizard, can you fly me to Johto? Tyler looked at the orange dragon wings
    , and the odd typo that a spell/grammar checker would pick (seeing mayn pokeon ).
    “Tyler, what’s wrong,” asked Krisi. He ordered Charizard to use Flamethrower and his Samurott to use Ice Beam, which created a mist when the two attacks collided.
    I'm also not sure why he had his Pokemon do that - was their a point to creating a mist like that while he has a casual conversation with someone...? If there is, you probably want to make that clearer for the reader.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    The BBS Forums! Join in!
    Gain achievements for activity on forums & the games!

    Tied to this Pokemon Magazine! Looking for contributors - check it out!
    Why should you? Well, Wynaut?
    Current article: The Coffee Guy's Rants: Remakes! He doesn't like them.
    Avatar by minty-fivestar on DA, with edited background/cropping. Fic banner by cieux.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •