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Thread: Conspiracy

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    Post Conspiracy

    1

    They say that conspiracies are just superstitions, created by the general public to create hysteria. I say they’re true, and that’s because of that one experience…


    It was sunny and the air smelled of freshly mowed grass. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and- oh who am I kidding. It was HORRIBLE. It smelled of pit sweat and the only sounds were the agonizing screams of kids reuniting with their bullies. The first day of school. Like 9th grade was hard enough. It was like returning to Nazi Germany after Hitler personally killed your family. Well, I met up with my friends again. I don’t have much, but four suit my needs.

    After our reunion, I followed my schedule to homeroom. The quickest route was through the 12th grade hallway. Uh oh. I’m not exactly very fond of them, not after what happened last year… but that’s something I’d rather not talk about. I ran through, avoiding the hostile glares heading my way. Relief washed over me when I finally made it. Luckily that was the only time I had to go through there that day. In my Homeroom, I saw the POKE again, a group of kids obsessed with Pokémon. They used to be part of another group known as NINDO, but they broke off to form a group solely on Pokémon. I sorta like Pokémon. Only a little. I used to LOVE it, but then came the Sinnoh region and it became a joke.

    Back to the current subject, all of the new classes were a bore and I was glad when Lunch came. I NEVER fail Lunch. Oh ya and I sorta need to improve my grades. I barely made it past the 9th grade and was saved by the one A I got in science. Who knew dissecting frogs could get you that far? I went up to the lunch lady but it turns out I couldn’t pay for lunch. That’s when I saw it. A bright, blue berry, just sitting on a table. I was soooo hungry I couldn’t resist going to eat it. It had a sweet flavor, and I felt a sudden burst of energy. Whoa.

    The rest of the day was like any other day at school. But then, when walking back to school, I was ambushed and thrown into the back of a truck and was then hit with a frying pan, knocking me unconscious.



    The story is about a guy who isn't too obsessed with pokemon, but when dragged into a government secret hidden from the world along with others, even a surprise guest , he learns to appreciate new ideas
    Chapter 2 out soon (chapters will be longer than this)
    Last edited by JFought; 4th September 2012 at 1:02 AM. Reason: Update v1.1
    Three most annoying things:

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    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

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    2

    Don’t you just hate it when a story immediately just throws the main character into action at the start of a book? Sorry, but that’s what happened here. I couldn’t find a better way to start a book of events that happen to you. What, you want a “Hey mom, I’m off to school!” full documentation of everything that happened at school? I’m not very good at that kind of stuff. I’m pretty sure 10th grade Geometry isn’t very fun.

    Anyway, I woke up in a big glass dome. ? Is all I could think. I looked around. The dome was surrounded by a big grassy meadow, so this wasn’t a test site for studying how teenagers react when they are kidnapped. Unless there were hidden cameras. That would just be creepy. Anyway, the dome had cotton plates around it, five in total. I was on one of them. Does that mean there were gonna be more confused people coming? Hmm. I suddenly heard a noise and a plate appeared on the ground behind me. On the plate was a blue berry. It looked like the one I found at lunch today. I started to think of how they got the berry, when it hit me……

    THEY TOOK IT OUT OF MY STOMACH!

    Just kidding. It hit me that someone was watching me with extreme interest when I ate it. And I’m pretty sure the face of that person is the last thing I saw when I blacked out. Ok, now things are just getting ridiculous (boy that was just the beginning). Who stalks someone, knocks them out, and then sends them into some random dome? Well, I WAS pretty hungry, so I picked it up and ate it. Then the persons face flashed in my mind again. Then I heard an ominous voice saying “SUCKA!”

    Too Late

    I was already sent into a sudden seizure and I “Yellowed” out. Normally I’d say blacked out but I saw yellow as I drifted into dreamworld.
    Last edited by JFought; 4th September 2012 at 1:02 AM.
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

  3. #3

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    It help to double space your paragraphs as it was hard to read.

    It's just like a real life story or what?
    岩根雅明=♡

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    It help to double space your paragraphs as it was hard to read.

    It's just like a real life story or what?

    I've noticed that too. I'll try that out.

    as for the question it is sorta like pokemon mystery dungeon except no memory loss, in a group, and the cause is obviously a human. if this isn't what you were looking for then please verify your question.
    Three most annoying things:

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    Ok double space implied to chapter 2 no need for chapter 1 cuz it was too short to begin with
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

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    Figure that I'd bring this up, the chapters are too short. They need to be at least two pages long in Word (the only exception being prologues). You could expand on the length by maybe combing the first two chapters and adding a bit more details about the locations (like the school or this dorm) or maybe fleshing out this character a bit more (besides them just talking about how they aren't that into pokemon maybe have them interact with their friends at school). You could have the character explore around the dorm a bit before eating the berry or them wondering about why a berry is randomly next to them (has this kid seen horrors or sci-fis, don't eat or touch random things). Just little things that can help expand on the world that this kid is in...

    Wait a second, what is this person's name? Maybe have some interaction with a friend or something just so that the reader can find out what this character's name is. Something to help me as a reader connect a little more to this person. As is I don't know their name, anything about their personality, or what their general life is like. Do they have friends that they only see during the school year or do they just dislike school. Or they picked on? Since they bring up bullies I sort of wonder if they are. All that we know is that they aren't that into pokemon but that doesn't really tell me that much about them.

    So, yeah, expand on what you have and this could be an interesting story. As is, I'm not that invested in what happens to this kid. Sorry if I come across as being harsh. The grammar and spelling as far as I can tell are fine. And this story could be interesting but I really have too little information to decide on how good or enjoyable this story will be.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    Figure that I'd bring this up, the chapters are too short. They need to be at least two pages long in Word (the only exception being prologues). You could expand on the length by maybe combing the first two chapters and adding a bit more details about the locations (like the school or this dorm) or maybe fleshing out this character a bit more (besides them just talking about how they aren't that into pokemon maybe have them interact with their friends at school). You could have the character explore around the dorm a bit before eating the berry or them wondering about why a berry is randomly next to them (has this kid seen horrors or sci-fis, don't eat or touch random things). Just little things that can help expand on the world that this kid is in...

    Wait a second, what is this person's name? Maybe have some interaction with a friend or something just so that the reader can find out what this character's name is. Something to help me as a reader connect a little more to this person. As is I don't know their name, anything about their personality, or what their general life is like. Do they have friends that they only see during the school year or do they just dislike school. Or they picked on? Since they bring up bullies I sort of wonder if they are. All that we know is that they aren't that into pokemon but that doesn't really tell me that much about them.
    OK, got some explaining to do.

    I just expanded Chapter 3 to explain some of what happened that day and what the main character, Zack Waters, looks like in general. Things i couldn't include I'll answer right here
    Zack had been picked on, but only by Seniors. He isn't very bright and barely passed the 9th grade. The only place he is ever really smart is when he is in his dreams. He is pretty lazy so he didn't really take the time to explore the dome he was in. As for his personality, I'm working on that. I'm not really the kind to edit the first chapter too much, when the whole thing is done I will have 2 versions of the story, the one here, and an advanced one. Any other questions I'd be happy to answer.
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

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    3

    To clear up any confusion, my name is Zack, Zack Waters. I’m white, no freckles, 15 years old, and I have jet black hair. I don’t have many friends and they were all in different classes. When I was dreaming, I recalled the important events that happened today. Also maybe a story really isn’t a story without a nice backstory, don’t ya think? Anyway, at lunch, I also remember one crucial event. The table the berry I ate during lunch was on was the POKE’s table. How come I didn’t notice that? *face palm*. Anyway, there were other important events that can relate to now. For one thing, after lunch, there were people in black suits watching me as I went through the building. Before Lunch, whenever I stumbled upon the POKE group, their conversation abruptly stopped and they kept quiet until I was gone. Other than that though, not much was going on that was particularly interesting. How come I didn’t notice that?

    ***

    “WELCOME TO THE 100th ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES! MAY THE ODDS BE EVA IN YOUR FAVOR” I’ve always wanted to say that. Back to current events, I woke up with a killer headache.

    “Dang” I muttered.

    I looked around. I was still in the dome. Bad. There were Pokémon in the dome. Good. Maybe I could ask their names, get to know them, and then - wait WHAT!? Pokémon!? On the other four cotton disks were Pokémon, all unconscious. Two I could not recognize. The other two were a Pichu and a Poochyena. The ones I couldn’t recognize were a blue thingy and a white thing. Wow.

    One thing was peculiar about the Pichu though. It was wearing a green hat and had a sword strapped to its back. Something about that reminded me of someone, but whom? The Pichu woke up and I went over to him. That’s when I noticed that things seemed a bit, um, smaller.

    I must still be waking up

    When the Pichu was wide awake, it was startled to see me, but not because I just randomly appeared.

    “What, is there something in my teeth?” I asked

    A mirror appeared by me. When I looked in it to check if there was something in my teeth I saw a Pikachu in its reflection. Oh, I turned into a Pokémon. Well now I can talk to the Pichu more easily and-

    “HOLY CRAP!”

    I’m a Pokémon!




    Know who the Pichu is? Don't rage if you know, and I'd rather you not tell yet.
    Last edited by JFought; 4th September 2012 at 2:44 AM.
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

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    Quote Originally Posted by JFought View Post
    OK, got some explaining to do.

    I just expanded Chapter 3 to explain some of what happened that day and what the main character, Zack Waters, looks like in general. Things i couldn't include I'll answer right here

    Zack had been picked on, but only by Seniors. He isn't very bright and barely passed the 9th grade. The only place he is ever really smart is when he is in his dreams. He is pretty lazy so he didn't really take the time to explore the dome he was in. As for his personality, I'm working on that. I'm not really the kind to edit the first chapter too much, when the whole thing is done I will have 2 versions of the story, the one here, and an advanced one. Any other questions I'd be happy to answer.
    This stuff is actually better to be shown within the story itself, instead of just being told of these important details in as an authors’ note (though it is a good thing that you put them in the story). Author notes are fine for certain things, but telling the reader things that are important about the character isn’t one of them.

    Show me that Zack has been picked on. Maybe have him glance around to make sure that the coast is clear to let the reader have an idea that he was bullied instead of just saying that he was. You could show us that he barely passed the ninth grade by having one of his parents (before he leaves for school) tell him that he should try to do better this year or have them say something about if he doesn't get Cs and Bs in all of his classes than he doesn't get to learn how to drive until he is older.

    To clear up any confusion, my name is Zack, Zack Waters. I’m white, no freckles, 15 years old, and I have jet black hair.
    Well, I now know his name. Which does help a bit since it gives me an identifier for this character. But I don’t think that many people actually talk about themselves like this. I like how he says his name (makes me think of James Bond) but the description about himself doesn't feel right since it is a list.

    I guess I should have explained about what I meant about describing him. So sorry that I didn’t make that clear before. I sort of meant like giving little snippets of information to us.

    Example: My jet black bangs blew into my eyes as I was walking home. Blinding me temporally and then I was grabbed from behind and my world went black. It lets us know his hair color (most people will assume that his bangs are the same color as the rest of his hair) without it being part of a list. When he sees himself in the mirror after his transformation he could say something along the lines of Instead of seeing my pasty white face I saw a yellow face with red checks. This also helps give the reader an idea of what he looks like without giving it in a list format. Just as some ideas.

    The table the berry I ate during lunch was on was the POKE’s table.
    So, is POKE referring to people in a fan club of pokémon? A group of people that he knows are hard core fans? I’m just thinking that it seems like an odd way of referring to a group of people. Then again I’m drawing from my high school where people might have referred to this type of group something along the lines of video game nerds or anime fans but not by one fandom. Unless things have changed since I left high school.

    For one thing, after lunch, there were people in black suits watching me as I went through the building.
    And campus security did nothing about the people in black suits (that are stalking one of the students I might add)? The school wasn’t put in lock down or something? Just seems odd to me. Then again, I might be drawing from current events too much. So, this is set during a more peaceful time then.

    “WELCOME TO THE 100th ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES! MAY THE ODDS BE EVA IN YOUR FAVOR” I’ve always wanted to say that.
    Well this gives me a bit about Zack’s personality. Makes jokes in bad situations (not every does this) probably to calm himself down. But what does it say about him that he always wanted to say that.

    I looked around. I was still in the dome. Bad. There were Pokémon in the dome. Good. Maybe I could ask their names, get to know them, and then - wait WHAT!? Pokémon!?
    I like this bit. It seems like something that someone could think in this situation. At first not registering the thing out of place and once they realize what they saw they question it.

    2 I could not recognize.
    Generally with numbers it is best to write the number out if it is less than ten. Some people say if it is less than one hundred but pretty much everyone agrees about it being a number less than ten.

    Know who the Pichu is?
    Seeing as we don’t know any characters other than Zack I’m going to bet this is someone from an anime or video game. But who knows this could be a classmate of his.

    Well, there are things that have improved from the first chapter. I am now seeing a bit of his personality (which can help me as a reader connect more with your character).

    I suggest either expanding on the previous chapters or changing the first chapter into a prologue and combing chapters two and three into chapter one so that there is more substance within the chapter.

    I suggest working on showing the audience instead of just telling us details. It is a hard concept to grasp and getting it to work when you first start out writing so if you need any advice you could probably ask for some in the Author’s Café.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    Show me that Zack has been picked on.
    Done

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    You could show us that he barely passed the ninth grade
    Done, but I didn't do the parent bit


    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    but the description about himself doesn't feel right since it is a list.
    Still working on that

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    So, is POKE referring to people in a fan club of pokémon? A group of people that he knows are hard core fans?
    Explained

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    So, this is set during a more peaceful time then.
    Yes

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    But what does it say about him that he always wanted to say that.
    .... I've never really thought about that

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    Generally with numbers it is best to write the number out if it is less than ten.
    done

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    I suggest either expanding on the previous chapters.
    Chapter 1 expanded

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigereye13 View Post
    I suggest working on showing the audience instead of just telling us details. It is a hard concept to grasp and getting it to work when you first start out writing so if you need any advice you could probably ask for some in the Author’s Café.
    Thx for the info. I can tell you're experienced with this kind of stuff, and hopefully I've covered most of this, otherwise you could explain it to me. Anyway, chapter 4 is coming soon it will be longer and more descriptive and will hint at some weird stuff.
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

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    Listen, this is great.
    Do you have microsoft word.
    Make sure it is two pages.
    Just give depth to it.
    It seems annoying that you have to, but describing your main character pre and post.
    the following is only for the author because it will probably spoil the plot and ruin it.

    can someone tell me how to make spoilers.
    Please, even if it takes a week to post a chapter make it 2 pages long, that way this thread won't be closed.
    They say if you press cntrl and W you get to see the programming of a website after making a signature with 3 ws and 8qs
    Fanfics I like that are still in production: Author's Run, Pokémon emerald the better version

    This the aquabats song awesome forces:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4sL0w3SHM
    and here is their song shark fighter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wchrctxFo

    I NEED A BETA READER!
    Check out my fic.
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...2#post14945242

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rotomknight View Post
    Listen, this is great.
    Do you have microsoft word.
    Make sure it is two pages.
    Just give depth to it.
    It seems annoying that you have to, but describing your main character pre and post.
    the following is only for the author because it will probably spoil the plot and ruin it.

    can someone tell me how to make spoilers.
    Please, even if it takes a week to post a chapter make it 2 pages long, that way this thread won't be closed.
    So far chapter 4 is already about 2 pages long, so that is covered.

    Also, I made a change to chapter 3. originally, one of the characters was to be a Snivy, but I decided to make it a Minccino because a Snivy seems more like a boy and a Minccino seems more like a girl and I need at least one girl for my series
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

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    4

    I suddenly regretted losing interest for Pokémon. If only I knew THIS would happen. I would have all the knowledge I’d need if I just stayed with Pokémon. But it happened so now what? Well, I guessed that maybe seeing how the other three Pokémon were would help explain what happened.

    I approached the nearest one, a Poochyena, and shook it awake.

    “HEY YOU, WAKE UP I WANT TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON! WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UUUUUUUUUP!!!”

    This startled him and he shot up, poised to attack. Before I could react, he pounced on me a managed to hold me down.

    “Who are you!” he said, surprised by my physical appearance. “And why the heck are you a Pikachu?!”

    I automatically recognized his voice. Marco, one of my friends. “Marco?”

    “How’d you know my name?” he replied in disbelief.

    That’s when Marco noticed his own change in appearance.

    “And what happened to me!” he gasped.

    “Well…..”

    ***

    I explained the situation to him while the odd Pichu noticed his transformation.

    “But how is this possible? How do you get some berry to transform someone into a Pokémon? And what Pokémon did I turn into?” Marco wasn’t too familiar with Pokémon, but he knew I used to like it.

    “You’re a Poochyena, which is a wolf-like Pokémon.” I answered. I sorta thought that he being a Poochyena was ironic due to the fact that he wasn’t much of a dog person. “Do you remember what you saw before you were taken to the dome?”

    “Well, I was taking the bus, but it made a sudden stop and two men in black suits came in and took me away.”

    Men in black suits. I remembered the people watching me in the hallways. Those men must have taken everyone else here as well. “Hmm. Well, I’m gonna go see who and how everyone else is doing.”

    I went over to the Pichu first. He was already awake anyway. He seemed to be deep in thought but noticed me walk up.

    “Hey um, what’s your name?”

    Nothing

    “Hello?”

    Still nothing

    He knew I was there, but wouldn’t talk. He just stood there with a puzzled expression on his face.

    “Fine be that way” I angrily marched over to the blue thing, who just woke up. Unlike the others so far, he quickly realized that he transformed into a Pokémon.

    “Huh? How did I turn into a Riolu?” He whispered to himself. So that was what that Pokémon was called.

    “Umm, hello?” I said

    “And a talking Pikachu? I must be dreaming”

    “Ya um, I wasn’t originally a Pikachu. I was Human but was transformed by a blue berry. I’m guessing that happened to you too?”

    “Um, Now that I think about it, when I ate that Oran Berry I did fall unconscious” The berry was called an Oran Berry. Was this guy a Pokémon expert?

    “Ya, whatever. What’s your name?”

    “Nate” He replied. “What’s yours?”

    “Zack”

    “Oh. Hey look, that Minccino just woke up” He stated, pointing at the white thing. “Maybe we should check on him. And by the way, who’s the Poochyena and the Pichu?”

    “The Poochyena is my friend, Marco. I don’t know who the Pichu is. He wouldn’t tell me”

    We went over to the Minccino.

    “What the! Oh my god what just happened? And why do I look like a freak?” I recognized her voice too. She was the most popular girl in my school, Sarah.

    Right when I was about to talk to her, I heard a THUNK! The Pichu had just cut a large hole into the glass dome. He motioned for us to follow, and then he took off.
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

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    All of them except pichu are from his school.
    Who the pichu is, is obvious, when will you tell.
    howi the deicde who to pick? not by popularity. Random can't be it. There must be a secret pattern in this.
    I love zack's reactions. And there wre only 76 hunger games. Me and my mom love the hunger games. Book 1 had 74th, book 2 had 75, book 3 told of 76 ad it would be the last.
    They say if you press cntrl and W you get to see the programming of a website after making a signature with 3 ws and 8qs
    Fanfics I like that are still in production: Author's Run, Pokémon emerald the better version

    This the aquabats song awesome forces:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4sL0w3SHM
    and here is their song shark fighter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wchrctxFo

    I NEED A BETA READER!
    Check out my fic.
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...2#post14945242

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    This idea is pretty good, and the writing is also done quite well. I'm curious as to why random kids are turned into Pokemon. I think you could add more description as to the environment and how the different characters act, so there could be more personality.

    Also, the Pichu thing really confuses me:
        Spoiler:- Pichu:

    Who cares about cookies? Come to the Light Side, we have CUPCAKES!

    Animal Crossing: New Leaf Dream Code: 7100-3458-5872

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    First the author specifically asked not to mention anything in this thread about pichu until confirmed.
    Maybe someone never playd tat game.
    Maybe we will find out later.
    And if you specifically need to say that pm the author.
    And maybe it's someone else and the similarities are a coincidence.
    Maybe theres a huge conspiracy bout games.
    And the author specifically asked for no flaming bout that(rage=flaming) not sure if that was what you were doing or not. (lacks tone).

    Rank UP!
    They say if you press cntrl and W you get to see the programming of a website after making a signature with 3 ws and 8qs
    Fanfics I like that are still in production: Author's Run, Pokémon emerald the better version

    This the aquabats song awesome forces:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4sL0w3SHM
    and here is their song shark fighter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wchrctxFo

    I NEED A BETA READER!
    Check out my fic.
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...2#post14945242

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    ^ I'm sorry, I didn't notice that part. Besides, I put it in a spoiler, so you don't need to look at it; I was trying to keep it a secret for other readers. Anyway, I wasn't raging, I was merely trying to explain that the solution I believe to that puzzle didn't really fit into the story as it is now, due to it being both fairly clear (if you are familiar enough with the character; I haven't even been involved with said thing but it was obvious to me) and the lack of anything else to foreshadow the presence of said character. I don't think it's a bad decision, just that he could have written it in a way that it didn't feel so out of place, as he hadn't mentioned anything to do with said Pichu until his appearance. If JFought himself complains, I'll take it down, but I promise that I wasn't trying to flame him at all - I was just confused as to why that character was in the story.

    Who cares about cookies? Come to the Light Side, we have CUPCAKES!

    Animal Crossing: New Leaf Dream Code: 7100-3458-5872

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chibi_Muffin View Post
    ^ I'm sorry, I didn't notice that part. Besides, I put it in a spoiler, so you don't need to look at it; I was trying to keep it a secret for other readers. Anyway, I wasn't raging, I was merely trying to explain that the solution I believe to that puzzle didn't really fit into the story as it is now, due to it being both fairly clear (if you are familiar enough with the character; I haven't even been involved with said thing but it was obvious to me) and the lack of anything else to foreshadow the presence of said character. I don't think it's a bad decision, just that he could have written it in a way that it didn't feel so out of place, as he hadn't mentioned anything to do with said Pichu until his appearance. If JFought himself complains, I'll take it down, but I promise that I wasn't trying to flame him at all - I was just confused as to why that character was in the story.
    The Reason WHY the Pichu is there will be revealed soon after his identity is confirmed. However, the idea is still a little foggy and might need some adjusting.

    Also, I might only be able to post chapters on weekends, because I'm too busy on weekdays. I barely had enough time to post this.
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

  19. #19
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    Sep 2012
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    5

    No one hesitated to follow. Not even Sarah, who was still confused. We all just wanted to get out of there. We followed the Pichu across what seemed like an endless plain until we finally caught up with him. He was pretty fast for a small Pokémon. We had to run quite a while, so we plopped down on the ground to catch our breaths.

    Sarah broke the silence, “Can someone please tell me what’s going on here?”

    “Well, it seems like we were all kidnapped, turned into Pokémon, and sent to this place.” Nate replied.

    “Pokémon?! Oh, that’s not gonna be good for my reputation.”

    I rolled my eyes. Didn’t she EVER think about anything BUT her rep? But I have to admit, being at the top means you could easily be pushed to the bottom.

    “So, um, who are you guys?” Sarah asked

    “I’m Zack, he’s Marco, that guy is Nate, and I have no clue who Greenie over there is” The Pichu scolded me when I mentioned him like that. Well maybe he should mention his name if he doesn’t like Greenie.

    “This is great and all, but wouldn’t it be best if we found some shelter now?” Nate said, pointing toward the setting sun.

    He was right. We had no clue where we were or what dangers there might be lurking in the dark. So we continued moving on, the Pichu in the lead because he had a sword. It wasn’t long until we found an abandoned campsite. Good enough. We all settled down and immediately everyone went to sleep except for me. I was too busy thinking about the current situation. What was going on? Why were we here? And what is that swishing noise?

    Swishing noise?

    I immediately fell asleep.

    ***

    “Ugh”

    I woke up and was surrounded by trees.

    “What the?” I heard Marco’s voice.

    We were in a clearing now, surrounded by a dense woods. Everyone was awake now.

    “How did we get here?” Nate said, confused.

    “I dunno. But can you smell that?” Sarah replied.

    Honey. And we were all starving.

    “I’ll go get it.” I volunteered.

    I followed my nose until I found a giant honey comb. How did THAT get there? And why was it so big? Who cares I thought. It’s food, so I’m takin it.

    I felt around for a grip on the honeycomb and started to try and rip it apart. Then I heard a buzzing sound. Behind me was a weird, three faced bee thing, and it didn’t look too happy.

    “Go away. I could easily beat you if I used some electric thing on you.” I said. It fled

    I continued to pull on the honey comb until I finally managed to rip it off. Holy Crap.

    Behind it was the skeleton of a man. Beside him was a newspaper. Curious, I picked up the newspaper. It read:

    INVENTOR MAKES AMAZING DISCOVERY!
    An inventor known as Harold White created a machine that was able to connect to multiple universes. However, the government quickly confiscated this project. When investigated by the president, it took him to a parallel universe! The universe he landed in was a large plain that seemed to go on forever. It turned out that the plain could easily be manipulated to create anything possible. But when rumors spread to the media, the government automatically denied it. A few years later, the portal was

    It abruptly ended there. The plain that was described sounded A LOT like where we were now. I had to show this to the others.

    I turned around to see the bee again, but this time was accompanied by others. They were angrily staring at the honey comb I tore off

    “This isn’t what it looks like-” I was cut off by a larger buzzing sound. Thousands of the bee things were surrounding me. But that wasn’t the terrifying part. A large bee thing suddenly appeared. I could automatically tell it was the leader. And it didn’t look too happy either.

    Crud.
    Last edited by JFought; 6th September 2012 at 1:25 AM.
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

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