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Thread: The Drying Pan (Brock/Frying Pan)

  1. #1

    Default The Drying Pan (Brock/Frying Pan)

    EDIT: Forgot at add a rating! T, PG-13 for potentially offensive human/object love.

    A/N: Yes, you read that right.


    This was wrong, he thought to himself. This was wrong, it had always been wrong, and it was not going to become right anytime soon. Maybe he could have blamed growing up with so many hungry male siblings and spending the preponderance of his time around kitchen utensils. Maybe it was the fact that he was the only child in the family with reasonable cooking skills, as his mother burned boiling water and his father had reappeared from his Pokemon journey not days before Brock left Pewter City to travel with Ash and Misty. Or maybe he felt this way because Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny and the rest of the women he pursued never gave him the time of day.

    He had no rational explanation for his emotions. He only knew this: Brock Harrison was literally pansexual, for he was in love with his trusty frying and drying pan.

    During the day, Brock was easily able to contain his deviant desires. He acted like himself then, chasing beautiful women with voluptuous figures and imposing his gentle philosophy on his younger teammates. Of course, cooking meals was worlds away in difficulty from that—he used that frying pan for everything, whether it was for sautéing meat or making jelly-filled donuts. He found it almost impossible sometimes to gaze upon the frying pan with anything other than lust when Ash and Misty were awake and patiently waiting for their food, but he knew that he had to. If they ever discovered his "relationship," he would be shunned. Rejected. No longer with the friends he coveted so. It was all he could do to ignore his raging feelings, keep them chained to his heart and out of sight so as to continue supporting the people he loved.

    But when Ash, Misty, and Pikachu dozed off at night, a door of relief opened up for Brock. As soon as the three drowned in the throes of sleep, Brock would slip out of his sleeping bag and to his zipped knapsack, frayed and worn from weathering. He would reach for his front pocket—undoing the zipper was a slow, sensual action, one that seemed to take forever. Then, dipping his fingers beneath the sturdy fabric as if he were caressing a dressed body, he would retrieve his frying pan.

    His gorgeous, sexy frying pan. The pride of his very existence.

    He had purchased the pan in Celadon City at the famed department store, in the massive cookware section that put even the kitchen mall in Pewter City to shame by its sheer size. For a few days now, Brock had lost his former frying pan in an attack by Fearow when its handle had broken off, and he could not salvage the remains. Tearfully, Brock gave the frying pan its final rites and discarded it in town the trio passed through—and if they wanted to eat square meals again, he needed to find another. Taking the few assets he'd accumulated by winning Pokemon battles, he went to the department store in the fresh hours of dawn, while Ash and Misty slept in the Celadon hotel.

    The moment he had entered the cookery and laid eyes on the frying pan in the display up front, he was slapped with a deep sense of joy and love. It was an emotion that traumatized him in a way that he never wished to forget. This was what it was like to meet one's soulmate, Brock was certain. In its state of newness, Brock marveled at the frying pan's beauty as he would for the rest of his life—the black sheen of the skillet glaring him seductively in the face, the steel handle that was coated with only the finest enamel, and the flat bottom that would have been undesirable on any other piece of kitchenware.

    Brock was hypnotized. He knew at the very instant he laid eyes on this frying pan that he needed it. And it needed him. So he bought this magical frying pan. It had cost him a pretty penny, but the pleasure he received from it was well worth the price tag. Now, months after the event, the frying pan was beginning to wear from overuse—scratches tarnished the once-glamorous shine and grease stains were prominent in its belly, but Brock did not care. Even as it aged, he fell more and more in love. The frying pan was a fine wine that only seemed to make everything taste better with time. Ash and Misty agreed—they loved the speed at which the frying pan cooked and how reliable its weight and durability was. This frying pan was not weak like the other one. This one sizzled in heat and crackled in cold, cooking food to utter perfection and leaving tingles in Brock's fingertips as he touched it.

    He could not live without this frying pan. If it left him, he would die. The frying pan was a part of him that he could not deny—to him, it was a God, an Arceus, or perhaps more like a mysterious lover that stealthily appeared at night to make love to him. He would clutch the frying pan to his chest and whisper sweet nothings to it, kiss it with the intensity of a truly enamored man, and relish in the delicious abrasion it made against his skin when he touched it.

    This pan was the woman he loved. No others could compare. Some might call him crazy, and others might denounce him as a freak. But as long as they never knew, they could not judge him.

    And they could live together in peace and solitude.

    Without hate.

    And without prejudice.

    "You are my most precious secret," Brock told the frying pan every night. To him, the pan was sentient, and it could hear his words. The vast majority of the human population would disagree, but Brock knew better. He was aware of its ears, for he trusted that its soul held him as close to itself as he did to it. And if he listened with enough tolerance to silence, the frying pan spoke back to him.

    I love you.

    And only Brock could perceive its fluid, loving words.
    Last edited by Silent--Protagonist; 4th September 2012 at 2:18 AM.
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  2. #2
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    Brock is now offically a psychopath...
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  3. #3

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    Ah I hardly see any inanimate object fics here but this one is great, and freakishly enough, it's in character lol
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  4. #4
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    Oh my gosh, I'm in tears right now, and I don't know why. This is utterly brilliant. I knew this piece of cargo shipping existed, but I never, never thought I would see a story on it. You, sir, are a genius for creating this masterpiece and leaving me speechless, because I honestly don't know what to say here. I swear I can see Brock doing this, it's scary, but at the same time it works.

    I would ask for more stories like this, but then again, I don't want to see any more of it, because nothing can top this (not even Pikachu/Ketchup) and be just as brilliant.
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  5. #5
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    making jelly-filled donuts.
    This part made me giggle xD

    It's a great Fic. I loved it :3

    I now have another human/object Shippy that I support. It's a very good read! nya~

  6. #6
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    A very comical Fic, well written. It really slayed me.

  7. #7
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    Well, it was a good read. Never seen a shipping fic like this, so credits to you for raising that. Describing it as his woman is quite brilliant.
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  8. #8
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    My first reaction: wait, someone else remembers that "drying pan" joke?
    My second reaction: this is a shipping fic? Not my usual style, but this looks too good to pass up.

    This certainly was a fun read. You had a great narrative voice throughout that remained serious without being too, if you'll mind the pun, deadpan. It was engaging and not over the top silly, which I think this could easily have become.

    I was surprised and a little disappointed, however, that it did seem to take itself rather seriously. I kept expecting some wittiness, not exactly puns but language that reflected their relationship with a little more colour.

    Couple other specific things
    his mother burned boiling water and his father had reappeared from his Pokemon journey not days before Brock left Pewter City to travel with Ash and Misty.
    I'm not really sure what the point of the father bit was here. Is he supposed to be able to cook or will he be useless to his family?

    He found it almost impossible sometimes to gaze upon the frying pan with anything other than lust when Ash and Misty were awake and patiently waiting for their food, but he knew that he had to.
    What he has to do here is a little vague, maybe just add "try" or "try to ignore his feelings" at the end.

    No longer with the friends he coveted so.
    I think you mean "value," not "covet."

    And they could live together in peace and solitude.

    Without hate.

    And without prejudice.
    I would just made this all one paragraph, as this doesn't really add anything, possibly even make it into one sentence.

    My other main nitpick is that the whole "drying pan" thing mentioned in the title never actually comes up even once, which is a shame since it's so full of potential. For instance, you can show how he loves it because of how it provides for Brock, not only providing he and his friends with life-sustaining food, but keeping him warm and dry in the rain. I'd love to see more reasons why Brock loves his pan so much, and I think considering its many uses would help with that.


    Otherwise, cute read, and it definitely made me grin. :>

    ~Psychic

  9. #9
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    This is just brilliant, i was nearly in tears... Well done
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    So good, I can't even begin to show my praises for this masterpiece of a one shot.

    You have officially converted me from a gymshipper to a brock/pan shipper

    Execellent job.


  11. #11
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    Well done, I found this fic very amusing to me. I liked it a lot, and the way Brock's feeling are expressed in such a way I found it a bit touching as well.

    Jelly filled donuts...that joke never fails to crack me up. DANG IT 4KIDS, WHY U HATE IN DEM RICE BALLS?!?

    Happy writing,

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  12. #12
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    Holy crap.

    Seriously, this is just so..."holy crap!"-inducing. Here we have Brock, the older teenaged boy who hits on the prettiest of girls, yet we find him harboring sexual affections for a d/frying pan?!

    Excellently played.

    I really enjoyed the way you wrote this in such a serious manner yet it made me giggle; Brock in love with a frying pan. What next? But its a really unique idea, and I see a healthy writing future for you. Some words felt out of place, as did some sentences, but other then that, very good job.

    I applaud to you, keep up the good work!

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  13. #13
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    This was such a crazy idea and I love it! xD I was laughing hysterically the entire time I read it. Bravo~
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