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Thread: Happenings Between Goals (PG-15)

  1. #1
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    Default Happenings Between Goals (PG-15)

    So this is my first serious attempt at writing fanfiction. It'll be a typical trainer story, but I hope it'll at least be an entertaining typical trainer story. Rated PG-15 for overall story, but the first several would probably more qualify for PG or even G. I'll put the chapter in a spoiler below so as to not break the website.

        Spoiler:- undefined:


    So there you go. Feel free to nitpick and all that. Obviously, my story doesn't quite run on the same rules as the games, but then again, whose does? I'll explain more about the "rules" as time goes on, starting with the next post.

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default

    Gonna break my 1-per-month schedule just this once here in order to gain a following, get reviews, and prove that this won't end up yet another dead fic. So please review. I do want to know what everyone thinks of this.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 2:


    So those "rules" I was talking about last time? As this is my story, I can use whatever established characters I want, whatever Pokemon I want, whatever region and time period I want, I can explain things away however I want. Get used to it. There's going to be a lot of "THAT'S NOT HOW THE ANIME WORKS!" stuff going on here. Also, Fun Facts. They'll be included in every chapter posting, including this one! They'll be bits of info about the world this story takes place in. FF#1: The Pokemon League has been hiring younger and younger gym leaders in order to reach out to a younger and younger audience (to get more of them to become Pokemon trainers, which in turn means they'll buy more League merchandise). FF#2: You don't have to necessarily beat a gym leader in order to get a badge... FF#3: This story is on four sites now. Find them. The fun facts will be different for each one of them.

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    New chapter up today! Will something exciting happen for once? Let's find out!

        Spoiler:- Chapter 3:


    So how about them fun facts? FF#4: In the Sinnoh region, there are also Officer Alyson's. They all look alike, but look different from Nurse Allison's. Some Sinnoh people think that this is a cruel joke. FF#5: It is considered distasteful to have a Pokemon know only TM/HM moves, as that removes the "living creature" aspect of Pokemon. See y'all next month (unless someone comments; then I'll definitely reply sooner than a month).

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default Filler 1

    Okay, time for the first filler chapter. Fair warning: the language in this one really stretches the PG15 rating. I tried to give clues to older readers as to which words I'm going for without getting into trouble. The filler chapters can take place anytime in the timeline of the story. For example, this one takes place when Eric is around 12. I have a question I want answered: for future filler chapters, do you want to see me continue writing in Eric's POV, or do you want me to start writing in other characters' POV (or 3rd person POV)? If the former, then the story stays streamlined. If the latter, we get to see stuff happen when Eric's not there. Only one fun fact today. FF#6: Most water type Pokémon's cellular structure are 98-99% water. Have fun reading!

        Spoiler:- Filler 1:

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default Jumping the Shark- Badges

    Schooling kept me busy, but here's the next chapter! These kinds of chapters will tend to be on the long side, so hopefully you can stand MORE CONTENT. FF#7: Most trainers have a theme song going through their head when they battle, and they change them accordingly based on whether they're fighting wild Pokémon, other trainers, gym leaders, Elite Four members, or other high-ranking League official. The theme song is usually based on the music that plays in the games featuring the trainer's homeland. Most trainers refuse to admit to this. FF#8: Main characters will have themes to their teams.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 4:
    Last edited by The Teller; 2nd November 2012 at 4:03 AM.

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default Now with 33% more Pokemon

    New chapter time! But first, a forewarning: not every wild battle, trainer battle, capture, and evolution is going to be shown. Most will take place offscreen. If a character suddenly has a new Pokemon in their party or an old Pokemon is in a new form, that's why. Now for some fun facts. FF#8: Powerful TMs such as Fire Blast, Blizzard, and Solarbeam can only be purchased with a license to do so (typically must be over 18 years of age and proof of being a trainer, along with obtaining several legit badges). Passive TMs such as Reflect and Light Screen can be bought without such restrictions. FF#9: Trainers can call a toll-free number to schedule appointments with gym leaders, or schedule them in person, or hope that the gym leader doesn't have any appointments at the moment and can thus be battled right then and there. Walk-ins are acceptable, but rarely happen. FF#10: The job of a collector is to catch as many different species of Pokemon as possible. The Pokemon are usually sent to a professor's lab and are never actually trained by the collector. The professor funds the collector. The purpose is to catalog and study as many different species as possible.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 5:

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default

    I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike it! Check out mine too! its brand new! Also, i love how its in johto. I feel like theyre(fan fics) never in johto (even tho i kno a ton are)


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    Formerly: Chapter of Charizard

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    Default It Keeps Happenings Between Goals!

    A couple days late, but here's the update! To Chapter of Charizard, this takes place in Sinnoh. It just so happens that in this universe, Bugsy is the gym leader of Canalave City. You'll find many not-Sinnoh gym leaders in gym leader positions in this story. But Johto is a great place (even if Eric thinks it's the Pokemon world's "easy mode"). Fun facts! FF11: Arceusism is the predominate religion. The philosophy is that Arceus created the universe and everything within it, then went into a deep slumber. Different sects argue over whether Arceus intended for humans or Pokemon to be the dominant species. FF12: If you walk around the perimeter of Celadon City 100 times with a Kabutops in your party and then go to the top of the Celadon City Dept. Store using only the stairs and hugging the wall the entire time, you'll find...yourself very exhausted. FF13: It is very hard for non-psychic trainers to train psychic Pokémon, as the trainer-Pokémon mental bond becomes highly sensitive and thus, as the Pokémon feels pain, so does the trainer. Psychic trainers know how to dampen this effect.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 6:

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

  9. #9
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    Yo, I read the first chapter of Happenings, and I have to say, I'm really impressed with your writing abilities. I didn't spot any spelling or grammatical errors; a rare occurrence for new writers here. The story itself is pretty standard fare, but the fact that it's set in your own universe with its own rules makes it more interesting. Your subtle referencing of the source material(s) is great, as well. I'll definitely work through reading the series, and hopefully I'll be caught up soon.

    Until then, keep doing what you're doing. This looks like it has a lot of potential to be something really great.
    My Author Profile[/Center]

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    Quote Originally Posted by fixthe_fernback View Post
    Yo, I read the first chapter of Happenings, and I have to say, I'm really impressed with your writing abilities. I didn't spot any spelling or grammatical errors; a rare occurrence for new writers here. The story itself is pretty standard fare, but the fact that it's set in your own universe with its own rules makes it more interesting. Your subtle referencing of the source material(s) is great, as well. I'll definitely work through reading the series, and hopefully I'll be caught up soon.

    Until then, keep doing what you're doing. This looks like it has a lot of potential to be something really great.
    Thanks for the compliments! I'm not exactly a "new" writer, as I've been writing for almost ten years now. And trust me, spelling and grammar errors do get through my screening process (thankfully, I have a team of proofreaders to weed those out). Also, postings are on a one-chapter-per-month schedule, so I wouldn't worry about falling behind. I'm glad that the references are being caught. I wanted them to be visible, but not blatant and in-your-face. I chose the typical "journey fic" plot because I wanted to do something easy (yes, yes, I'm a horrible person), but hopefully the new rules make up for it. Thanks again for the good word!

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Back again, after finishing chapter 6, I can safely say you have something really great here. It's not overtly exciting, but it doesn't have to be. Eric and Greg have a great dynamic to their relationship that makes their adventures interesting to read. I think I read in your author profile that you had experience with slice of life stories; that really shows here. Happenings has all of the components that make up a great slice of life story.

    As far as grammatical/spelling mistakes, or typos, I didn't really catch any. You seem to be solid as far as that aspect of your writing goes.

    Also, If you have a PM/VM list, add me to it
    I'm really excited to see how this story will play out, specifically with how/if you'll move forward with your portrayal of N (which is fantastic, so far), and how exactly Eric's Shelmet will evolve...I would assume Eric could just catch a Karrablast, but considering you like to change up the rules, it makes it impossible to even venture a guess! Until next time!
    My Author Profile[/Center]

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    No PM/VM list, sorry. I've got a Master's thesis to work on, so I don't have a lot of time to spend on here (which my post count should show). No one besides the proofreaders (who "coincidentally" have main characters devoted to them) get to read the chapters early. And I'm glad that my many years of slice-of-life writing is finally paying off. Here's a fun fact: note when "N" and "Natural" are used. N prefers his shortened name, but to Eric, who is not his friend, he hasn't earned the right to be called by a nickname, so he's referred to as Natural. I've got plenty more N-related surprises in store for you. He's almost got main character status (almost).

    I'm wondering how Greg's gonna raise his team, what with the trading (Geodude) or stones required (Lombre, Igglybuff, Nidorino). Stones aren't cheap, you know. Coincidentally, I was just writing the Karrablast scene today. Haven't finished it yet, but I'll relent and say that in this universe, Shelmet and Karrablast do need to be traded in order to evolve. No one knows why, considering that it's just logical that a Karrablast can steal a Shelmet's armor at any time in the wild. Maybe the trading method has a higher survivability rate?

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default The Teller Tells A Story

    I do believe it's time for another chapter. Will this be the one where Beldum finally evolves?! Will Eric finally confess his feelings to Greg?! Who is the mysterious Racer X that keeps getting them out of jams, only to vanish once his job is done?! Read on to find out!

    FF14: Some Pikachus are allergic to Tamato berries, and thus ketchup. FF15: The most popular Pokémon of 2011 was Snivy. FF16: No one knows why all Pokémon consist of, at most, two types.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 7:


    Super Secret Spoiler Don't Read: Contents in Author's Notes may not appear in chapter proper.

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default

    Oops. It's the first of the month and I totally forgot. Not having 30-31 days will do that to you. New chapter will be up tomorrow or Sunday. So instead, to tide you over, here's a massive list of fun facts, some new and some old.

    The Pokemon League has been hiring younger and younger gym leaders in order to reach out to a younger and younger audience (to get more of them to become Pokemon trainers, which in turn means they'll buy more League merchandise).

    You don't necessarily have to beat a gym leader in order to get a badge.

    Arceusism is the predominate religion. The philosophy is that Arceus created the universe and everything within it, then went into a deep slumber. Different sects argue over whether Arceus intended for humans or Pokemon to be the dominant species.

    In the Sinnoh region, there are also Officer Alyson's. They all look alike, but look different from Nurse Allison's. Some Sinnoh people think that this is a cruel joke.

    Powerful TMs such as Fire Blast, Blizzard, and Solarbeam can only be purchased with a license to do so (typically must be over 18 years of age and proof of being a trainer, along with obtaining several legit badges). Passive TMs such as Reflect and Light Screen can be bought without such restrictions.

    Trainers can call a toll-free number to schedule appointments with gym leaders, or schedule them in person, or hope that the gym leader doesn't have any appointments at the moment and can thus be battled right then and there. Walk-ins are acceptable, but rarely happen.

    It is considered distasteful to have a Pokemon know only TM/HM moves, as that removes the "living creature" aspect of Pokemon.

    The job of a collector is to catch as many different species of Pokemon as possible. The Pokemon are usually sent to a professor's lab and are never actually trained by the collector. The professor funds the collector. The purpose is to catalog and study as many different species as possible.

    If you walk around the perimeter of Celadon City 100 times with a Kabutops in your party and then go to the top of the Celadon City Dept. Store using only the stairs and hugging the wall the entire time, you'll find...yourself very exhausted.

    Most water type Pokémon's cellular structure are 98-99% water.

    It is very hard for non-psychic trainers to train psychic Pokémon, as the trainer-Pokémon mental bond becomes highly sensitive and thus, as the Pokémon feels pain, so does the trainer. Psychic trainers know how to dampen this effect.

    Main characters will have themes to their teams.

    Most trainers have a theme song going through their head when they battle, and they change them accordingly based on whether they're fighting wild Pokémon, other trainers, gym leaders, Elite Four members, or other high-ranking League official. The theme song is usually based on the music that plays in the games featuring the trainer's homeland. Most trainers refuse to admit to this.

    Some Pikachus are allergic to Tamato berries, and thus ketchup.

    The most popular Pokémon of 2011 was Snivy.

    No one knows why all Pokémon consist of, at most, two types.

    All the main characters are from different regions, which means they'll each be the most knowledgeable about their specific region's myths and legendary Pokemon.

    According to scientists and researchers, legendary Pokemon are most likely only that: legendary. No legendary Pokemon has ever reliably been sighted and recorded, thus aren't part of any Pokedex listings.

    There are many different kinds of people who work with Pokemon, such as professors, trainers, collectors, rangers, breeders, coordinators, and more.

    There are thousands of species of Pokemon out there, not just 649. Oddly, this still means that there is only a fraction of the number of species in the Pokemon world compared to the real world.

    The Pokemon games as we know them are real in-universe, but they play the role of Real-Life Simulators there, to advertise the trainer lifestyle to younger kids (thus making them want to become trainers more so) and to prepare them for what to expect.

    Sinnoh is located approximately where Greenland is geographically, hence its reputation for constantly being cold.

    Team Rocket's motto, "Prepare for trouble, and make it double!" has since become a pop culture phrase after their fall from power and disbandment, and it's not uncommon to hear Kanto children shouting it on school playgrounds.

    Mewtwo is widely believed to have been a hoax cooked up by Team Rocket in order to instill fear in the Kanto population ("We have such a powerful Pokémon at our disposal, you can't possibly stand up against us!").

    Hoenn people know a person is a foreigner when said person says that Wallace is gay. Wallace has been in a relationship with Winona for the past several years. Arguments of her being a beard are ignored.

    It's likely that Giovanni, Archie, and Maxie said their quoted words as Ghetsis is doing.

    Viridian Gym Leader Blue Oak was reportedly involved in a sex tape scandal. This was later disconfirmed.

    It is impossible to "hack" a move onto a Pokemon that can't learn it (ex. Seviper and Sacred Fire). A Pokemon is born able to learn any move it can (by Black 2/White 2 standards) and no more.

    The 2008 hit movie "The Dark Knight" caused many kids that year to dress up as the main character, Bisharpman, for Halloween. It also caused many college students to dress up as the main antagonist, Joyful Spiritomb, for Halloween.

    Scientists believe that Ditto, once transformed, releases a species-specific pheromone to attract a mate for mating, even if the mate knows that the suitor is a Ditto transformed.

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default Harder Than Hard Mode

    Here's that chapter I promised! Oh the things that might happen! Explosions! Self-Destructs! Attract?! Who knows?! FF31: Little children sleep with stuffed Teddiursa dolls. FF32: It is illegal to own a Porygon-Z, though it appears this law isn't imposed very often. FF33: Charizards cannot learn Explosion.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 8:


        Spoiler:- Author's Commentary:

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Default Filler 2

    Mid-month filler time! Fillers, as I've said before, can take place at any time in the timeline of the story, including before and after the story proper. This one takes place, um, sometime into the story? It's canon, and that's all you need to know. FF34: Geodude kill more people per year than Sharpedo.

        Spoiler:- Filler 2:

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!! YOUR STORY IS AWESOME!!!!

    This. Is. Epic. This is not just some regular old Sinnoh fic! It's a Sinnoh fic with Team Plasma, Hoenn and Unova Pokemons, As well as Mismatched Regional Gym Leaders. I love Eric. I want to see his Beldum evolve later. I also like Greg, he is a typical sarcastic rival that the main character loves to hate. But I'm a bit lost on their Pokemon. What Pokemons do they have? And what happened to Team Galactic? You can't liberate Pokemon with Time and Space(And Dimensions). Or can you?? You are amazing man.

    Rate OVER 9000!/10


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

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    In Veilstone City, there is a Galactic building that seems to have been long abandoned, suggesting that maybe the D/P/Pt plot has already happened. However, we also know that not all Plasma members seem to get their information accurately (Munna summoning Mesprit, anyone?).

    As far as what the main characters' teams consist of, the filler takes place in the future, suggesting that sometime in the future, Eric will catch a Ralts/Kirlia/Gallade. As of chapter 8, Eric has Beldum, Breloom, Pidgeotto, Poliwag, Shelmet, and Ninjask. Greg has Geodude, Lombre, Nidorino, Igglybuff, Staravia, and Azumarill. Once the characters start to catch more Pokemon, I'll start randomly switching their team members around (assuming that they have access to a PC) to showcase everybody.

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

  19. #19
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    Here from the review game! I took your suggestion and will review Chapter 5.

    Dialogue: It was great! It really gave a lot of insight into all of the characters. Without having read any other things, I feel like I knew both of the main two characters really well. It flowed and was funny to read about these two guys interacting, because they seemed like it could have been me and one of my friends.

    Characters: The characters, like I have already said, seem realistic.

    Other (Battles): The battle was one of the few things that I though could be improved on. I've fallen into this to, and trying to rectify it myself. They seem extremely turn based, like the games. Writing battles should be a little more like the anime. Instead of just saying stuff like "Trainer X told his Pokemon to use a move. Pokemon used move. Trainer Y told his Pokemon to use another move. It attacked", try to have more details and strategies. Make the Pokemon less like fighting robots going through motions and more like the other characters, as live, breathing beings with individual personalities.

    Enjoyment: Even though that that last one was fairly critical, I really enjoyed it. The characters were goofy and seemed well thought out. The setting was nice, and it was cool seeing a post-DPPt Sinnoh with Plasma. I was laughing a good bit of the time too. I'll probably go ahead and read more, but wanted to get this review done before I forgot.
    I've gotten into IV Breeding. I'll breed any Pokemon that can, just ask and I'll see what I can do!


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    Default Foolish Fools!

    No joke, a new chapter today! But now for some serious discussion. Next month, I'll have run out of chapters to give you. You'll have caught up by then. And it isn't looking like I'll have time to make a bunch of new chapters by June, so that poses a problem. I DO have a couple filler chapters ready to go, though. So here's the choice: we can continue with main chapters at the start of the month and fillers in the middle of the month and be out of content by June, or I can treat the fillers as chapters onto themselves and give them their own month. The second option gives you a more steady stream of content without hiatuses, the first option gives you more content in less time, but will run dry a lot sooner. The choice is yours. FF35: According to conspiracy theorists, according to ancient texts, if a man were to catch every kind of Pokémon in the world, the end of the world will happen. These people protest the capture of Pokémon. FF36: Pokémon have the amazing ability to know what other Pokémon of different species are saying. Exceptions include Jynx (but oddly, not Smoochum), Porygon, Porygon2, and Porygon-Z. People assume Pokémon would understand a legendary Pokémon's speech, if legendaries were real. FF37: There is a holiday, the true meaning behind it long forgotten, where you must go out and find a pink Pokémon and put a formal hat on its head (without capturing the Pokémon with a Poké Ball or other manmade device). Nowadays, only people in Hoenn and the Orange Archipelago observe this holiday.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 9:


        Spoiler:- Author's Comments:

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    Sorry for the delay. School is keeping me busy. Anyway, here's another chapter that justifies the PG-15 rating. Just warning you now. Also, my usual beta-readers failed to give a rat's donkey about this chapter, so there may be more spelling/grammar errors than usual. FF38: "Pokeentomophobia" is "the fear of Bug-type Pokemon," and is common in small children, most of which grow out of this by adulthood. FF39: To be a big name professor, one must be a leading expert in a field no other big name professor is in.

        Spoiler:- Chapter 10:


    Post Author's Note:     Spoiler:- undefined:

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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    This doesn't work as horror for one major reason. It isn't scary. At all. It isn't even creepy.

    What is the scariest horror movie you've ever seen? Now, think about what makes it scary. It's the atmosphere of the thing. Horror is all about drawing you in and then delivering the scares. All good horror movies know how to build an atmosphere of dread long before any monsters or ghosts show up. The same goes with literature.

    Read The Nameless City by H.P. Lovecraft for an example of well crafted horror. He makes you dread whatever is inside this city long before you ever see what is actually down there.

    This story has none of that. Your characters are literally pointing out the cliches as they happen. That isn't horror, that's parody. Another problem is you give almost no description of the surroundings, and when you do, it isn't in a way that's scary or gives me a sense of foreboding. You have long bits of dialogue with no narration, which takes away from the atmosphere, and their dialogue isn't anything that suggests much fear. If not even the characters find your story scary, how am I supposed to?

    This is not to say that it without merit. There were things I liked.


    "Yay!" Emma shouted. "Eterna City is close by! And that means a Poké Center is nearby as well! Hot showers and comfy sofas and My Little Ponyta reruns galore!"

    "It's a wonder you've suffered for so long without home comforts and not gone crazy," I said dryly.

    "Hey! Once you've been on adventures as long as I have, you'll know to appreciate the small things."

    "Of course. I wouldn't DREAM of traveling the countryside without my Miltank-hide boots and matching in-season traveling purse. Those are just essential, you know?""

    I thought this part was funny.

    BELDUM SUCKS *** AND ERIC GOT HIS TWO BADGES OUT OF PITY!!!"

    That was Greg's voice! Wait, what did he say?!

    "OH, SO YOU DECIDE TO GROW SOME BALLS NOW, WHEN YOU'RE SAFELY HIDDEN IN THE DARK?!" I shouted back. "I'M SURE IGGLYBUFF'S real IMPRESSED BY THAT!"

    "I DON'T SEE YOU IN ANY HURRY TO BACK UP THOSE WORDS!"

    First off, you forgot a quotation mark in the first sentence, but that's a small mistake that can be cured with some simple proofreading, and since you said your normal proofreaders haven't done this one, I'll let it go. FOR NOW!
    What I don't understand is why they're yelling at each other like this. I seems to come completely out of nowhere and feels out of place.

    Good luck with all future endeavors.
    Last edited by An Enemy Spy; 13th May 2013 at 6:37 PM.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Currently in the 3rd dimension
    Posts
    82

    Default Filler 3

    Like I said last month, no new content has been made. However, I'm going to treat this filler like a chapter, so there you go. I don't think I need to say who is talking in this one. Good news, everyone! I'll hopefully be participating in that oneshot contest that's going on right now, so maybe THAT will act as next month's chapter as well.

    Okay...this chapter was written to look like a journal entry, and there were a LOT of crossouts in it, but the site doesn't seem to want to cooperate and show the crossouts, so I had to go back and modify all of them. Basically, if it's in a set of parantheses, it was originally a crossout (also if it's a bad word pun or has '...I mean,' in it). Sorry about that and enjoy!

        Spoiler:- Filler 3:

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Currently in the 3rd dimension
    Posts
    82

    Default

    For the past month, I've been working on the Interpretation contest, so I haven't had time to work on Happenings Between Goals. Once the contest is over and I'm allowed to post the entry on here, I will do so. That will be July's entry for this story. All events (bar one) in the entry are canon to my story's universe, so think of it as a 21-page filler.

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Currently in the 3rd dimension
    Posts
    82

    Default

    Real life and graduate work are taking its toll on me, and because of this, I don't have any more chapters or filler ready for you guys. Sorry to have to do this, but until things clear up and I get more material done for you guys, Happenings Between Goals is going on an indefinite hiatus.

    Credit for picture: "Emma" (littlebuster-k2); Credit for signature: 9dragonsbreed
    So you should expect the truth from me. Only, you shouldn't expect it to be the truth you assumed.
    Oh yes, and you should read my story Happenings Between Goals.

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