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Thread: A Different Kind of PMD Story (A Vulpix Tail)

  1. #26
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    Alright, I never saw the pokemon/human thing coming, but I must say, the thought of, "What if PMD reversed?" coursed through my head at one point, I still give you credit for it, as you wrote the story. I envy your description of Amy, not everyone can boast this kind of description.

    Put me on the PM list, I look forward to the next chapter.
    Nothing interesting here. Carry on.
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  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meeker View Post
    Alright, I never saw the pokemon/human thing coming, but I must say, the thought of, "What if PMD reversed?" coursed through my head at one point, I still give you credit for it, as you wrote the story.
    Oh, Im not the only one who thought of it. I know Azurus was working on a story with the same idea, but I published it first. Shadow Lucario 50 mentioned he wanted to write it, but couldn't figure out a good way to do it. And a select few others had the same thought. I just decided to write it.

    I envy your description of Amy, not everyone can boast this kind of description.
    Honestly, its kinda info-dumpy, but okay.

    Put me on the PM list, I look forward to the next chapter.
    Will do.
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  3. #28
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    Honestly, its kinda info-dumpy, but okay.
    Well, I felt it was pretty good when you described her after she got new clothes, maybe I over-reacted.
    Nothing interesting here. Carry on.
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  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meeker View Post
    Well, I felt it was pretty good when you described her after she got new clothes, maybe I over-reacted.
    Oh that description, okay. I thought you were talking about where he was just thinking about how she looked because Luke's mind was randomly wandering in his room.
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  5. #30
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    Chapter 2
    The Journey

    ---*~A~*---

    Amy awoke with a start. Her heart was thumping rapidly; her breathing was ragged. She wiped her cheeks. The nightmare was thankfully over, shaken off by the refreshing morning sunlight streaming in through the living room window. Now that she thought about it, she couldn’t remember what the nightmare was actually about.

    She sat up and gazed sleepily at the staircase. It didn’t appear that anyone else was awake yet. She yawned and caught herself staring at her hands as she stretched. She was used to the sight by now, but they served as a reminder that she still wasn’t quite what she was supposed to be. Not that she remembered everything about what was she really was, but she knew it wasn’t this.

    Heavy footfalls on the staircase brought her out of her thoughts.

    “Ah, Amy!” Luke’s father kindly said as he reaches the first floor. “So, are you excited about a new day? Today especially.”

    “I don’t know. I guess anything that happens from now is interesting to me. I don’t have any other memories to reference.” Amy sighed.

    The man gave a sad smile. “Don’t worry, there’s plenty of new memories to be had. I’m off to work now, but Luke should be down soon.” He fitted a plain grey cap on his graying hair and pulled a suit over his tucked-in, buttoned-up shirt. With a small, casual salute to Amy, he smiled and opened the front door. Soon he was gone, leaving Amy in silence.

    Feebly, (as Amy was still dreary and lacked the concentration to work her alien form well) she walked to the window and pulled the drapes aside. She wavered as her heart sped up, the onset of a panic attack suddenly began. The hum of the appliances in the kitchen, the neatly-made buildings outside the window, the artificial materials, the electronics, and the bright lights - thoughts of all these things hit her all at once.

    None of this makes any sense. I've never seen anything like this, and what's wrong with me? I can't...Why can't I remember anything...? What if I'm stuck like this? This...this... The room spun and she wavered.

    "Woah there!" a voice called out. There was a rush of footfalls, but Amy couldn't focus. Her vision began to darken and her brain buzzed. Instead of tumbling onto the floor as she had subconsciously expected, she was saved by two thin arms. A groan was emitted by her savior, and then she was being carried. She was rested onto something soft - the couch. "Are you okay, Amy?" Her eyes fluttered and the nausea faded. She opened her eyes to see Luke.

    "Luke? Ungh, what happened?" She could feel with her hand that rested on her chest that her heartbeat was slowing to normal.

    "You fainted while looking out the window." Luke's smile was a kind one, but there was a hint of worry hiding in his eyes.

    "You...you saved me though."

    "Well, yeah. All I did was keep you from hitting the floor. It's not like you were teetering over a chasm and I saved you from a tumble into the abyss." Luke was trying to be modest. It sounded like he wasn't used to praise.

    "Tch, no, but it was still nice. But if you don't want my thanks, then fine. I take it back." Amy crossed her arms and pouted.

    "Hey, all I meant that is was no big deal. You didn't have to..." Luke noticed the wry smile forming on Amy's face and the playfulness that her eyes betrayed. "And you're only joking..."

    Amy giggled. "Yup!"

    Luke grinned and laughed lightly along with her. Amy sat up slowly, and with Luke's help, she managed to stand again. They caught each other's gaze. With a small smile, she decided to hug him, resting her head on his shoulder.

    Luke, his face warm, asked, "There's something I've been wondering: How do you know how to hug like any other normal person? Vulpix, being four-legged, would not be hugging anything."

    Amy took a step back, pulling out of the hug, and frowned. "I have no idea. It just...felt right. Was I wrong? Is that not what you're supposed to do?"

    "No, no, it's fine. I mean, typically people don't hug that often. Well, I guess some girls do..." Luke scratched the back of his head in thought.

    "Okay, good!" And she hugged him tight again. This time though, Luke decided to hug back. He had slightly less enthusiasm however.

    "Well, I see you two are getting along nicely," Luke's mom playfully chided as she stepped onto ground level.

    Amy flinched and fell back onto the couch. Luke chuckled and Amy managed a smile.

    "Morning, Mom," Luke said, giving a small wave.

    "Well, today's the big day, isn't it? You get to finally have a Pokemon of your very own! Who are you gonna pick? Snivy? They're cool. Or maybe Oshawott. I always liked Water-types. But Tepig is so cute too..."

    Amy frowned. It sounds like she barely considers them more than dolls or a simple pet. These are Pokemon we're talking about! There not...There not...

    "I don't know, I want to get to meet them first."

    Well, that's a little better. At least Luke is nicer than that, but still...He's just gonna go get a Pokemon? And this Juniper is just giving them away? That seems so...wrong.

    Luke noticed Amy's expression. "What's wrong?"

    Amy blinked. "Huh? Oh, nothing. It's nothing."

    Luke shrugged. He grabbed the loaf of bread that was on the counter. He tossed two pieces into the toaster and leaned with his back against the counter. "Want some, Amy?"

    "Some what?" Amy asked genuinely.

    "Toast, my dear," Luke's mom said, "You know what toast is, don't you?"

    "Toast? Toasted what?"

    "Bread..." Luke said, holding up the plastic-wrapped loaf.

    "Oh..." Amy blushed. "Um, okay, sure."

    Luke's mom frowned but decided to go upstairs. As she passed Amy, Luke's mom muttered something about toast and Luke's choice of women. Whatever that meant.

    Amy watched with great interest as Luke prepared two sets of toast. Luke decided to prepare hers with butter. Amy liked it, even if she didn't know to eat it with her hands at first.

    After getting cleaned up, Luke told Amy to go up the stairs to find his mom. She would help her get back into her original clothes and hopefully teach her how to do it herself.

    Amy took the stairs with confidence and made it without hiccup. Luke's mom was in the hallway with Amy's clothes. She'd apparently been about to go downstairs to get Amy herself. The mom hurried Amy into the bathroom and gave her a crash-course in human clothing. After a good half of an hour later, Amy was able to put on the trickiest parts of her clothing. She couldn't tie her shoes yet, but she figured Luke could help with that. Amy also managed to do her hair. She was at least somewhat better at that then dressing herself.

    "You're going to have to make due with that pair of clothes and the old pair you were just wearing for a while. I can give you money to buy new clothes, but Shopping Mall 9 is all the way across the region," Luke's mother said, scratching her chin.

    "Oh, that's okay. And you don't have to give me any money. I'm fine with this."

    "If you say so. If anything, Luke can help you. He's got an impressive fund of money that's he's saved up for this. And I know you'll be here tonight again, but you're gonna be leaving early in the morning. Oh! I almost forgot." Luke's mom ran back in her bedroom and the sound of lots of stuff being moved around could be heard.

    She emerged from the bedroom triumphantly while holding a bag. It was large, like Luke's backpack, and had a single strap. She slung it over Amy's shoulder and adjusted the length slightly. "There! Perfect."

    "Uh, what is it?" Amy asked, tugging at the strap.

    "It's a Bag. You can keep your clothes in it. And anything else you need too, of course."

    "Wow! Thank you Mrs. Luke's Mom!"

    She chuckled. "Now go! Luke's waiting for you."

    Amy hurried down the stairs, which was close to being a mistake, met up with Luke. He'd already fixed his hair and thrown a cap over it. He also wore his backpack, which had straps that seemed to be too long. "Ready to meet Professor Juniper, Amy?"

    "Yup!" Finally. Maybe she can give me some ideas. Give me some hope...

    Luke opened the door and Amy lead into the harsh sunlight. Outside it smelled like fresh grass, pine wood, and a touch of heated cement. Across the street was a small lawn of grass with a couple benches. One of the benches supported an elderly couple who seemed to be enjoying the daylight.

    They proceeded to their left and passed a house that looked near identical to Luke's own. How does Luke know which house is his? These two look exactly the same. Amy tilted her head up to see another house resting on top of a large block of stone. Simple stairs led up to it. And why does that house get to be up there? Behind the large pedestal was a tall orange and white building that was covered in a large amount of tinted windows.

    "That's the Pokemon Center. They all look the same, so I've been told. I guess it's less confusing that way," Luke explained. He lead Amy to the door, which had a round symbol on it. "It was designed to appear similar to a Poke Ball." Huh.

    Luke approached the door and it opened automatically for him.

    "Eep!" Amy cried, startled.

    Luke chuckled. "Relax, it's just a door. See, there's a little sensor up there," Luke pointed at the top of door frame, "and when you get close, it tells the door to open. Nothing special."

    "Nothing...special?" Amy sighed. "Sorry."

    "Don't be. I know this is new to you. But come on, Juniper should be waiting inside."

    Amy nodded and walked with Luke inside, jumping a little as the door closed behind her. When Amy turned to take in the sight of the Pokemon Center, she gasped. It was a work of modern technology, and of course that meant Amy was completely amazed. Across from them was a curved counter that matched the orange theme of the outside and inside of the building. Behind the counter stood a smiling woman with pink hair that was done up in loops. She stood in front of a weird machine that made Amy wonder what it did. To the immediate left of the counter was another strange machine that looked like a bulkier version of the laptop she’d seen back at Luke’s house.

    To her left was a blue counter with some things Luke called “cash registers”. She didn’t know what they were for, but she figured Luke would tell her eventually. Two people in blue aprons tended the counter. Amy guessed it was some sort of store because three people were requesting items she had never heard from the workers. The middle customer had blue coat, red and white hat, and red shoes. His hair was brown and spiky, but Amy couldn’t see anymore than that. The boy to his right had black hair and a lighter blue coat than his friend. When he turned to speak with him, Amy could see he was wearing glasses. On the other side of the boy in the center was a girl. She grabbed her large green hat while she spoke sometimes. Her orange blouse and white skirt looked too restricting for her.

    Amy tore her attention from them and seen Luke walking over to a glass table on her left. In one of the red chairs was a older women in a lab coat. “Professor Juniper, hi!” Luke said, sitting across from her.

    “Ah, you must be Luke. Who’s this?” she asked, turning to Amy.

    “That’s Amy. She has an interesting story that I think you should hear, but we can go over that in a minute.” Luke gestured for Amy to sit next to him, and so she did.

    “I see. Well, Luke, are you ready to start your adventure?” Juniper asked.

    “You bet I am!”

    The professor smiled and took out a small glass cylinder with three red and white spheres inside. She pressed a button in the side and the container split open. Juniper set the three spheres on the table and placed the cylinder off to the side.

    “Alright then, here’s your choices. Oshawott, Tepig, or Snivy. Choose well.”

    “May I see them?” Luke asked.

    “Oh, of course. What was I thinking?” Professor Juniper picked up the Poke Ball the farthest from Amy. Touching the white button in the middle of the sphere, she released the first Pokemon in a flurry of red light. The green snake with legs stood proudly on the tabletop, his arms crossed.

    “Snivy,” “Hmph, finally.” the grass snake said arrogantly.

    Well, that Snivy is a bit rude. Well, it’s to be expected, Amy thought.

    Professor Juniper touched the second Poke Ball to the table. In a similar red flash, a white and blue Pokemon appeared. He grabbed a shell that was stuck to his belly and made a triumphant pose, only to drop it and ruin the effect. “Osha...” “Every time...” he grumbled as he placed it on his stomach again. Amy giggled.

    With a playful smirk, the professor released the last Pokemon in front of Amy. The four-legged pig hopped once and smiled playfully. His red fur radiated heat. “Tep-ig!” “Nice to meet you!” he cried.

    “Good to meet you too, Tepig,” Amy replied, smiling.

    Professor Juniper and Luke looked sideways at Amy, but then turned to each other again. “These are the three Pokemon. I’m sure you know that though. You’ve been waiting for quite awhile for this day, right?”

    “Yeah. It’s hard to decide which one I want though.” Luke looked at Snivy. He looked away, nose high and his tiny arms still crossed. Luke frowned. Turning his gaze to Oshawott, Luke watched the cute water otter make another pose with his shell. He pulled it off significantly better than last time.

    “Osha! Oshawott!” “Ooh! Pick me! I’m good, I promise!” he cried. Luke looked long and hard at the Pokemon. Oshawott tried to look proud, but he had a slightly look of anxiety fluttering in his eyes.

    Amy grinned as the Tepig posed cutely for her, his head low and his rear high. His curly tail twitched back and forth slightly. Amy lightly poked the pig on his snout, feeling the hot air coursing in and out of his nostrils. “Tep! Tepig!” “You’re different! I like you!”

    “I like you too, Tepig,” Amy responded. Professor Juniper looked at Amy again, slightly curious. Luke didn’t notice, he was too busy thinking.

    “This is a very hard choice, Professor Juniper. But I think I’m going to have to go with this Oshawott here,” Luke finally decided. The otter rejoiced and threw his shell up into the air. Intending on catching it, Oshawott missed and the scalchop fell on his head instead. Luke chuckled. Snivy grew wide-eyed for a moment, but then looked away with a huff again. Tepig hardly noticed.

    “An excellent choice. Oshawotts are very balanced. They can take hits fairly well and do decent damage of their own. Plus, they are typically mild tempered. This one is a bit showy, but he’s loyal at least.” Professor Juniper held one of the Poke Balls out at Snivy, who turned red and was sucked back inside. She handed Oshawott’s ball to Luke.

    The Professor was about to called Tepig back to his Poke Ball, but Amy grabbed him. “Wait! Can you leave this one out for a little while longer, please?”

    Juniper smiled. “Sure, why not?” Tepig bounced.

    “Anyways, welcome to the team, Oshawott!” Luke said.

    “Osha!” “Yay!” Oshawott returned his shell to his stomach.

    “You can nickname him if you like. I know some trainers like to do that,” Juniper offered, rubbing the top of Oshawott’s head gently.

    Luke thought for a moment. “How about Crest?” Oshawott looked confused. “The top of a wave is called a crest. It’s the part that comes crashing down on things.”

    “Osha? Oshawott...” “You sure? Well, I’m okay with that.” The otter shrugged.

    “It seems fine with him,” Amy offered.

    “It’s official then. Amy, may I ask, how do you know that it was okay with Oshawott?” Juniper asked, staring at Amy intensely.

    “Um, he said it just a moment ago...” Amy looked slightly confused.

    “What do you mean ‘he just said it’?” Luke asked, eyebrows furrowed.

    “What do I mean? He said it plain as day. Didn’t you hear him?” Amy gestured towards Oshawott, who nodded. Not that it helped.

    “Amy... Pokemon don’t talk. All they do is say their name.” Luke shook his head slightly, clearly in disbelief.

    Amy felt cornered. She was almost about to freak out. “B-but, I can hear him! Don’t you believe me...?”

    Juniper put a hand to her chin. “Hm. Luke, you said there was something about Amy that we needed to discuss. What was it?”

    “Oh! Yeah, but I think it’s best we talk without Amy being here.”

    Amy pouted. “But if it’s about me, then why can’t I stay?”

    “Amy, why don’t you take Tepig and play with him over there? He’s been rather lonely lately, and he seems to have taken a shine to you,” Juniper offered.

    “Tepig...” “Well...yeah...” Tepig awkwardly rubbed a paw on the tabletop. Amy gently picked the orange pig up and walked over the corner. She plopped herself down while she watched Luke and Juniper launch into a discussion. She couldn’t hear them from this far away. “Tepig?” “What’s wrong?”

    “Oh, nothing...”

    “Tepig. Tep.” “It’s obviously not nothing.” He jumped out of her arms and stared at Amy directly.

    “Well, it’s just that...I’m not exactly a normal person. And no one wants to believe me...” Amy curled up slightly, her arms around her knees and tucked closely to her body.

    "Tep...Tepig-tep," "Well...You don't smell like a person," the Tepig replied, inhaling Amy's smell to carry the point.

    "I don't? W-what do I smell like then? This nose isn't very good at smelling anything..." Amy rubbed her own nose.

    "Tep...tepig. Tepig!" “You smell like...fire. A Vulpix, actually!”

    Amy was taken aback. "W-what? You can smell that on me?" So it's true. I'm not just crazy! But no one else would believe me. They can't hear poor Tepig...

    "Tep, tep, tepig!" “Of course I can. My nose works just fine!” Tepig stood tall and displayed a playful smirk.

    "Oh, very funny..." Amy said sarcastically. "Come here, you!" She grabbed Tepig and scratched his head rigorously.

    "Amy! Could you come here?" Juniper asked, calling across the Center.

    "Come on Tepig. Time to see what they talked about." Amy stood up, grabbed Tepig and returned to the table. She sat down, setting the fire pig on the table.

    "So, Amy. Luke tells me you have amnesia, correct?" Juniper asked.

    "Yeah. I woke up in the woods two days ago. I couldn't remember anything from before that except that something was...wrong." Amy was nervously fidgeting with her hands.

    "You mean that you were human? Luke told me how you're absolutely convinced that, prior to your memory loss, you were a Vulpix, however impossible that may be."

    Amy turned from Juniper's hard gaze. "You...You don't believe me either...No one does..."

    "Well, you've only ever told two people. And scientifically, it's impossible. Or at least, it's never happened before." Juniper gave Amy a warm smile. "But... I never said that I didn't believe you."

    "What!?" Luke and Amy exclaimed at once.

    "In my many years of study, I've seen many strange things. And it's really not that hard to believe. Most victims of amnesia still retain all their cognitive functions and everything they learned beforehand. The only thing that would be lost is the memories. And so while you couldn't remember where you would have seen, say, a laptop, you would have known what it was." Juniper paused to let that information sink in before starting again. "However, Luke tells me you don't know any of that. Everything we would call modern, you would freak out about. That would make sense if you really were a Pokemon beforehand, no matter how ridiculous it sounds when I say it."

    "So...you believe me then? You don't think I'm crazy?" Amy's eyes lit up.

    "Crazy? No. As for the other question, I'm still unsure. I've never seen anything like this and I've never read of it happening. It doesn't make any sense. However, I'm not completely close-minded on this. Amy, I'll give you this: Think of one thing that you think will change my mind."

    "U-um, okay..." Amy thought for a few minutes. Luke was petting his Oshawott, Crest. Tepig was staring at Amy with his big, expressive eyes. "I got it! Tepig, earlier, you had told me that you could smell something on me. Something I, nor Luke or Juniper could. What was it?"

    "Tep-tepig, tep. Tep-tepig, tepig..." "A Vulpix - I told you. But they can't understand me, so I don't see the point..." Tepig looked sad, and lightly scratched the table with his paw.

    "He said that I smelled like a Vulpix. Though he says it doesn't matter, since you can't understand him anyways," Amy translated.

    Luke looked skeptical. Juniper, on the other hand, look a little excited. "Tepig, is this true? Is that what you said?" she asked.

    "Tepig!" “Yes!” Tepig nodded so that even Luke and Juniper could understand.

    Luke grew wide-eyed and Juniper broke into a huge grin. "Why, this is amazing! Someone who can actually talk to Pokemon! The things we can learn...Oh, it makes me all giddy! Ahem, Amy, in one example you furthered your case twice-fold. Your ability to understand these creatures and the fact that Tepig claims you smell like one are both powerful pieces of evidence. In fact, I'm going to have to say that I believe you."

    "Yay!" Since Amy couldn't reach across the table and hug Juniper, she pulled Tepig close instead. His fur bristled with warmth that felt very familiar.

    "I'm going to have document this. But that can all come later. Amy, Luke had said that he brought you along so that I could help you find your family. Since we have decided that, should you have lived with a family, they would have been Pokemon, and thus are impossible to track. That means that you essentially have nowhere to go. What are you going to do now?"

    "I guess I haven't thought ahead that much..."

    Luke spoke up after being fairly quiet this whole time, "If you want, I suppose you could come with me on my journey. Ya know, if you want..."

    "I'd like that..." Amy said softly.

    "Well, I think that's an excellent idea. In fact, here, you can have this." Juniper placed a Poke Ball in one of Amy's hands. The other arm was still around Tepig.

    "W-what's this?"

    "It's Tepig's Poke Ball. He seems to like you, so he can go with you."

    Tepig's Poke Ball...So these are what people carry Pokemon around in. That seems so wrong. Pokemon are just as intelligent as humans are, so how can they claim to own Pokemon? And then trap them inside of these tiny things. I guess that's just how things work, but it shouldn't have to be! I think Tepig could be a really good friend though. I guess I'll have to accept the Poke Ball if I want him to come with me. But I won’t do anything without his permission. I shouldn't have to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. Amy tightened her grasp on the Ball. "Tepig? What do you say?"

    "Tepig, tepig!" “Yes! Please!”

    "Haha, okay then. Professor Juniper, thank you very much. I just know that me and Tepig will be the best of friends!"

    "That's all I ask." Juniper pulled her coat sleeve up a bit to check her watch. "Good heavens, look at the time. I really must go back to my lab." She stood up quickly, made sure she had Snivy's Poke Ball, and straightened her long green skirt and lab coat. "If you two are ever in Nuvema Town, please stop by my lab." She started to walk away when suddenly she stopped and hurried back to the table. "I almost forgot! Luke, here's your Pokedex!" Juniper pulled the square, red device out of her large coat pocket. Luke took it gracefully.

    "Hehe, thanks. I forgot about that too."

    "Sorry I don't have one for you too Amy. Pokedexs are special orders and have to be asked for ahead of time."

    "That's okay, I don't even know what it is."

    "Oh, of course not, silly me. Um, have Luke explain it. I really have to go! But one more thing: Be happy! Today, both of your journeys start, whatever that may entail." And with that, Juniper vacated the Pokemon Center.

    Amy hugged Tepig once more. Tepig, however, was staring across the room. Amy followed his gaze and seen a young man with long green hair leaning against the wall. His black hat covered his eyes. Tepig shuddered. Luke was trying to explain what a Pokedex was to her, but Amy wasn't listening. The mysterious man stared up suddenly and began to walk towards the exit. As he passed Amy, he met her gaze. His green eyes sent shivers down Amy's spine. Amy watched him as he left.

    "Who was that..?" Amy wondered aloud in a small voice.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Oh my goooooooooooooooooood, this chapter is all dialogue :C

    And thats the last Chapter of AVT for the year of 2012! More to come next year, to be sure.

    But, like I just said, 2012 is almost over. This story has been amazing and getting better everyday. I hope it keeps getting better.
    But I'll get to the point. The Fan Fiction Awards are about to start. To all of my readers, even the silent ones, I encourage you to vote.
    It would be self-centered to tell you to vote for me, so instead, just go and vote. We need as many of you as we can to nominate and vote. That will make these awards successful. So once the Nomination thread is made, go for it.
    We as writers put out these stories for you to read, and so all we ask of you is this one thing.
    Happy voting!
    Last edited by Brutaka; 12th January 2013 at 10:44 PM.
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  6. #31
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    And now I want to find out what happens next. I really don't have much else to say as beta reading it kinda kills the questions I would have for you.

    Anyway, I swear there has to be a better way to do dialogue than a new line every time. It makes it seem so dry. Not your fault, just the way story structure works I guess.


    Credit to Brutaka for the amazing banner and user bar. Yeah, having 2 is redundant, but it shows you guys my favorite pokemon, what story I had planned and my position in the WoJ.

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  7. #32
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    I can't find that, can you point it out with a link?
    Good as ever! Will this be a mix of BW and your mystery dungeon in reverse.
    They say if you press cntrl and W you get to see the programming of a website after making a signature with 3 ws and 8qs
    Fanfics I like that are still in production: Author's Run, Pokémon emerald the better version

    This the aquabats song awesome forces:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4sL0w3SHM
    and here is their song shark fighter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wchrctxFo

    I NEED A BETA READER!
    Check out my fic.
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...2#post14945242

  8. #33
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    And now I want to find out what happens next. I really don't have much else to say as beta reading it kinda kills the questions I would have for you.
    I feel exactly the same. Either way, I still have faith in this fic: I expect good things from you.
    Nothing interesting here. Carry on.
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  9. #34
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    Well, it was certainly a pleasure helping you with this. Seeing Amy adjust more to her new form and the lifestyle changes associated with it were enjoyable to read.
    Juniper's skepticism of Amy's story is good, and the steps needed to make her believe it are logical. Demonstrating the ability to talk to Pokemon and smelling like a Vulpix would convince me.

    Now, N's little appearance at the end was odd. I wonder what interest he will have in her in the future, especially as the plot develops. I'm looking forward to when Amy hears Ghetisis's speech in the town square with her views on Pokemon are more than pets. She might be inclined to agree with him somewhat initially.
    Just my own bit of theorizing.

    Good job, and good luck with this in the fanfiction awards.

    Knightfall signing off...

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azurus View Post
    And now I want to find out what happens next. I really don't have much else to say as beta reading it kinda kills the questions I would have for you.
    Yeah...thats the problem with having almost 85% of this stories commentators as beta readers. And I only have three betas...

    Quote Originally Posted by Azurus View Post
    Anyway, I swear there has to be a better way to do dialogue than a new line every time. It makes it seem so dry. Not your fault, just the way story structure works I guess.
    My god, I know. I mean, I didnt want the whole chapter to be dialogue, it just sorta happened.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rotomknight View Post
    I can't find that, can you point it out with a link?
    The Nomination Thread? It hasnt been created. It will be made after 2012 is over. Maybe Wed or Thurs of this week.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rotomknight View Post
    Good as ever! Will this be a mix of BW and your mystery dungeon in reverse.
    Thanks. And yes, for the most part it will be a reverse PMD combined with BW. With my own brand of deviation, of course.

    Quote Originally Posted by Meeker View Post
    I feel exactly the same. Either way, I still have faith in this fic: I expect good things from you.
    As always.

    Quote Originally Posted by Knightfall View Post
    Well, it was certainly a pleasure helping you with this.
    Thanks again, you know that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Knightfall View Post
    Seeing Amy adjust more to her new form and the lifestyle changes associated with it were enjoyable to read.
    It was enjoyable to write Oops, panic attack!
    If I remember correctly, Shane nearly succumbed to one of those in the beginnings of TTL.

    Quote Originally Posted by Knightfall View Post
    Juniper's skepticism of Amy's story is good, and the steps needed to make her believe it are logical. Demonstrating the ability to talk to Pokemon and smelling like a Vulpix would convince me.
    Juniper was enthralled by the advancements that could be made if her stories were true. Which is why Juniper didn't throw the story right out the window.

    Quote Originally Posted by Knightfall View Post
    Now, N's little appearance at the end was odd.
    Well, N is a little odd.

    Quote Originally Posted by Knightfall View Post
    I wonder what interest he will have in her in the future, especially as the plot develops. I'm looking forward to when Amy hears Ghetisis's speech in the town square with her views on Pokemon are more than pets. She might be inclined to agree with him somewhat initially.
    Perhaps so...

    Quote Originally Posted by Knightfall View Post
    Good job, and good luck with this in the fanfiction awards.
    Thanks, and hey, you too!

    EDIT: Nomination thread is UP! EVERYONE VOTE NOW! ---> http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...ds-NOMINATIONS
    Last edited by Brutaka; 2nd January 2013 at 11:38 PM.
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  11. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brutaka View Post
    "So, Amy. Luke tells me you amnesia, correct?" Juniper asked.
    I think you meant to put "Luke tells me you have amnesia, correct?"

    Anyways, I love the idea of PMD backwards. It just seems so... interesting. I wonder how N/Team Plasma is going to tie into this. Looking forward to the next chapter!

    Can I be added to the PM list?
        Spoiler:- Team Stuff:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow_Zorua View Post
    I think you meant to put "Luke tells me you have amnesia, correct?"
    Fixed. Its surprising a mistake like that made it through me and my three beta's.

    Anyways, I love the idea of PMD backwards. It just seems so... interesting.
    It was interesting to me as well. Which is why I decided to write it.

    I wonder how N/Team Plasma is going to tie into this. Looking forward to the next chapter!
    Quite a lot, as you'll soon see.

    Can I be added to the PM list?
    Will do.
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    I'm breakign cycle and posting another AVT!
    Don't kill me.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter 3
    Battle! Enter, N!

    ---*~N~*---

    N leaned against outer wall of the Pokemon Center. Across the street was his father who was preparing to give his planned speech. Ghetsis had requested him to be there. N didn't know why (he had heard all of this before), but he didn't wish to anger his father.

    "My name is Ghetsis. I am here representing Team Plasma. Today, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to talk to you about Pokémon liberation," Ghetsis, dressed in his formal robes, began when a crowd had gathered. To either side of him were men and women in gray outfits, each with hoods drawn. They held banners that displayed the blue 'P' that N had seen many times before.

    N's interest, however, was on a group of young trainers standing in the back of the crowd. A young male with blonde hair leaned to whisper something to his friend, a redheaded girl who seemed almost... solemn. N had seen those two in the Pokemon Center. The redhead intrigued him very much. On the other side of her, another boy with mid-length black hair was listening closely, his arms crossed. A boy with a blue coat and a red hat shook his head slowly, his brown hair shaking under his hat. A girl in orange and green attire near that boy shook a bit as Ghetsis's words rolled over her. New souls have been added into the mix. I wonder how they will fit into our grand formula?

    "That's right! We must liberate the Pokémon! Then, and only then, will humans and Pokémon truly be equals. Everyone, I end my words here today by imploring you to consider the relationship between people and Pokémon... and the correct way to proceed. We sincerely appreciate your attention." The gray-outfitted grunts rounded the banners up again and escorted Ghetsis away after he was finished. As he exited through the gate towards the west of town, the crowd dispersed and whispers of "nutjob", "old coot", and "waste of my time" could be heard. N shook his head. They'll all learn soon enough.

    The five young trainers were left standing alone in the middle of Accumula. The blonde boy and the red haired girl stood apart from the other three. The boy was talking with the girl, anxiety written all over his face. The three remaining trainers laughed amongst themselves. Interesting... Oh, what's this?

    "Hey, you two!" the kid with the red cap called to the other pair of trainers. "Wanna battle? We could use the practice. I think it'd be good for both of us!"

    The blonde trainer looked uncertain. "I just got my Pokemon though. Crest and I haven't trained yet."

    The sharp-eyed, black-haired boy spoke this time. "That's okay. We're all new too. Battling is the key to bringing out a Pokemon's strength, and the first one is the most important!"

    "Wait, so you all want to battle? But there's three of you."

    The girl with the large green hat pointed at the redhead. "What about her? She looks like a trainer. We can all battle! That would be so much fun!"

    The other girl looked uncertain. "I dunno. I don't like the idea of battles. I could ask my Pokemon if he wants to, I guess, but..." Her friend whispered something to her. "Alright, alright, I'll ask." She pulled out a Poke ball and timidly poked the button in the middle. A burst of light later, a bouncing Tepig was standing before her. "Tepig, these nice trainers over here want to battle. Luke wants me to team up with him. Would you like battle?"

    "Tepig? Tepig, Tepig!" "You're asking? Well, okay, yeah!" A small cloud of smoke burst from Tepig's nostrils.

    "Fine..." The girl nodded at her blonde friend, Luke. The Tepig tilted his head slightly, apparently confused at his trainer's reluctance to battle. N looked at her in interest too. Can that girl really talk to her Pokemon the way I can? And hear what they say? I must know for sure! The redhead looked at the other three trainers again, still dismayed. "There's still only two of us and three of you."

    The red-hatted kid scratched his chin. This is perfect! N adjusted his hat and approached the group. “It seems as though you need another battler. I dislike battling, but I will volunteer. I’ll side with these two to make it a three-on-three.” The group was slightly taken aback but shrugged it off.

    “Alright, cool.” The trainer pulled his hat lower and retrieved his own Poke Ball from his belt. “Well, my name is Hilbert, and this is my Pokemon!” With a toss and a flash, an Oshawott stood proud before his trainer.

    “Hey, you have an Oshawott too?” Luke said, raising a brow.

    “ ‘Course.” His Oshawott pounded his scalchop and smirked.

    The black haired boy adjusted his glasses. “Well, my name is Cheren! Snivy! It’s time to battle!” His Snivy appeared before him and surveyed the area. He appeared as analytical as his master.

    “Hey, let me show you my friend too!” The girl with the green hat fumbled around in her green purse for quite awhile before finding her Poke Ball and releasing it. The Tepig landed on the ground, a pink bow tied to her ear. She snorted embers and smoke. “Oh, and my name is Bianca, by the way.”

    “I’m Luke. This is my Oshawott. Come out, Crest!” Crest the Oshawott tossed his scalchop into the air as he appeared. He jumped and caught the shell in midair but fumbled it at the last second. The other Oshawott laughed.

    “Osha...” “Cut it out...” Crest mumbled, resting his shell on his stomach again.

    “Um, well, you’ve seen my friend Tepig. But I’m Amy. And, uh...” Amy trailed off. She rubbed her arm nervously.

    N cleared his throat. “Well, let’s get down to it then. My name is N. Friend! Assist me, if you will.” N plucked a single Poke Ball from his belt and tossed out in front. A sassy Purrloin emerged and checked out his surroundings, eyeing each Pokemon in turn.

    The battlers spaced out into two even rows of three with Hilbert, Cheren, and Bianca facing Luke, Amy, and N. Cheren adjusted his glasses again. “Let’s do this. We’ll let the challenged go first.”

    Luke flipped open his Pokedex and fumbled through to Oshawott’s entry. “Um, Crest, use Tackle on that other Oshawott!”

    “Oshawott! Osha.” “Thought you’d never ask! First move.” Crest set his right shoulder forward and charged at Hilbert’s Pokemon. The foe jumped out of the way at the last second though, and Crest fell onto his face. Oshawott laughed again. Crest growled.

    “Well that’s an interesting factor. Regardless... Purrloin, use Scratch! Pick any opponent, I don’t mind,” N instructed his friend.

    “Purr...” “Very well...” The dark purple feline darted into battle, heading straight for the Snivy across from him. The Snivy widened it’s stance in a way that would allow him to either block the attack or dodge it. The cat had a better idea though; at the last possible second, he veered to the right. Small glowing claws extended, he slashed Bianca’s Tepig on the side of her snout. She cried out; the scratch marks shone crimson on her red-orange skin.

    “Tepig, no! Oh, you’ll pay for that!” Bianca cried. “Tepig! Ember on that mean cat!”

    N saw Amy look quickly at the opposing Tepig and the retreating Purrloin. “Er, Tepig! Stop that other one, please!” Amy’s Tepig exuded smoke and took off running. His charged ended as he connected with Bianca’s Pokemon. She cried out as she was sent rolling.

    The female fire pig shook as she tried to stand, but collapsed once again. “Oh no!” Bianca exclaimed. She knelt by her Tepig, stroking it’s fur. “You did good. Even if it was kinda unfair.”

    “Hilbert. It’s two on three now, and their Pokemon aren’t even tired,” Cheren noted as he studied his opponents.

    “Relax. You think too hard. Bel’s not that good yet.” Bianca protested half-heartedly at this. Hilbert continued, “But we can take ‘em. Right Oshawott?”

    Oshawott shot a fierce glare at Crest and smirked. “Oshawott.” "I'd love to."

    "Snivy! Show that Purrloin that we don't need cheap tactics! Vine Whip!" The snake with legs and attitude released two green tendrils from inside his decorative fleur-de-lis collar.

    "Dodge it," N commanded with a half smile. His cat Pokemon bolted to the left, well out of the way of the vines. The appendages followed him however, caught him by his spiky tail. "Purrloin! Uh, Scratch it off!" The cat struggled to release himself, but Snivy had started pulling him backwards. Then in a mighty throw, the snake flung Purrloin into the air.

    "Loin!" screamed Purrloin. As the cat hit the peak of it's flight, he began to fall quickly.

    "Oh no!" N cried. He bit his lip and grasped a black and blue pendant on his necklace. With one final screech, the cat hit the ground. Or really, he didn't. Instead, Purrloin crashed into Crest. When the dust settled, Purrloin managed to limp off of the otter. Crest had fainted.

    "What!? How, what!? That's not even... Grr!" Luke, face red from frustration and embarrassment, ran to kneel by his Pokemon. He picked Crest up in his arms and ran back to Amy's side.

    Back on the other side of the field, Hilbert's Oshawott was on his back, shuddering from his hysterical laughter. Hilbert stifled a chuckle of his own. "Eh-heh, well that was something, wasn't it? Sorry 'bout that man." Hilbert sounded sincere, but he was still smirking.

    Cheren pushed his glasses further up his nose. For a moment, the sun had cast a glare on the lens and it blocked out his eyes. "Good job, Snivy. An excellent display of your power."

    Snivy crossed his arms tilted his nose upwards to look down at his opponents. "Sni-vy!" "Always."

    N, curious of Amy's reaction to all this, snuck a glance. Amy's hands were in fists, her jaw clenching and unclenching. Interesting.

    Then Amy, brows furrowed angrily, pointed at Snivy. "T-Tepig! Attack Snivy! Make him pay for what he did to Crest!" Luke turned his head to Amy, obviously confused, as Tepig charged at Cheren's snake.

    "Heh. Use Vine Whip to dodge it." Snivy's green tendrils emerged again. As Tepig was about to strike the green Pokemon, Snivy thrust his vines at the ground. The move launched him over Tepig and landed him behind the attack. Snivy was about to strike Tepig with a hard lash, but a voice cut through the action.

    "Assist!" N cried. Purrloin, now recovered, charged at Snivy. The claws on the cat's front paws glowed white and grew six inches longer. He reared up onto back legs and slashed furiously at Snivy. Left, right, left, right, left. After his final strike sent Snivy flying backwards, Purrloin's claws returned to normal. Snivy lay motionless and covered in claw marks at the feet of his master.

    "Snivy!" Cheren scooped his Pokemon up. Snivy's eyelids fluttered.

    "Sni-vy..." "Sorry, boss..."

    "Shh. Take a good rest now." Cheren returned Snivy to his Poke Ball with a ray of red light.

    "'s okay. I can take 'em both on! Let's do it Oshawott! Water Gun 'em down!" Hilbert declared. Oshawott took a deep breath where he stood. He exhaled a burst of water aimed at Amy's Tepig.

    "Get out of the way!" Heeding Amy's call, Tepig skirted the water. It splashed harmlessly on the ground.

    "Amy!" N called out.

    "Uh, what?"

    He smirked. "Let's finish this."

    Amy nodded. "Tackle!"

    "Scratch!"

    Tepig charged once again, this time aiming at the overconfident Oshawott. The otter anticipated the attack and side-stepped it. Purrloin struck the water-type though, causing it fall backwards with a cry in pain. Tepig had turned around already and mercilessly rammed Oshawott in the side. The Pokemon was sent skidding across the pavement. When it stopped, it couldn't get up again.

    "Looks like we win." N decreed with a sad smile. "It's a shame our Pokemon were hurt doing this. You know, sometimes I wish the world worked differently. That we didn't have to battle like this. It seems so... barbaric."

    Cheren scoffed. Amy's Tepig shook his head. "Tepig, tepig... Pig, tep!" "I like to battle though. It makes me feel alive!"

    Amy looked at her Pokemon with surprise, and N looked at him disdain. "Tepig, you shouldn't have to fight to give yourself purpose. There are better things than battling." N recalled his friend back to his Poke Ball and stowed it on his belt. "Well, it's been fun. Sort of. But I have I new things to learn, new formulas to solve." He adjusted his hat and began walking towards the gate to Route 2. He paused when he passed Amy. "Oh, and Amy? Hope to see you again." He winked at her and continued on his way.

    He took one last look over his shoulder behind him before walked through the gate. He met eyes with Amy as the trainers all trudged into the Pokemon Center to heal their beloved friends. He could feel her eyes searching his, looking for his intent. He smiled sadly and pulled his gaze away from hers. Come on N, don't worry yourself about her. I doubt she can even hear them like I can. Nobody can.

    The gate itself was really a mechanical tunnel of sorts. It was the size of a small house and both ends of it were gaping holes. In the middle of it was an electronic bulletin board, like there always was. Across the hallway was a desk with a happy receptionist. Like there always was.

    This time, however, there was a gray-hooded, orange-haired woman leaning against the wall across from the bulletin board. The Team Plasma symbol was prominently displayed across her chest.

    "Lord N," she spoke with a nod. "Ghetsis would like to speak with you. Immediately. He sounded upset."

    "At me? Why would Daddy be upset with me?"

    "I have no idea. But this is Ghetsis we're talking about. I still haven't heard from the last guy who kept him waiting, ya know what I mean?" She shuddered.

    "It'll be fine, Liz. Still, it wouldn't be wise to delay for too long."

    Liz pulled out a Poke Ball and released a tall, black and white Pokemon. The Gothitelle raised her arms and the scene changed suddenly.

    Familiar stone pillars and walls sprung up around N. The small room held blue and black Team Plasma banners between each column. The back wall across from him was covered by bookshelves that were stuffed full of various tomes and trinkets. In front of that was a matching dark, wooden desk that took up much of the horizontal length of the room. The Pokemon had teleported him right into Ghetsis’s office. Ghetsis looked up from laptop he had been casually typing on and eyed N fiercely.

    “N. I have a lot to discuss with you. Some good. Some bad.” Ghetsis paused for a moment. He irritably waved the grunt that had teleported N there away. When the door had closed behind her, he continued. “First thing’s first though. That battle you just won... were you enjoying that?”

    N swallowed. “Y-you were watching that?”

    “I’m always watching you, remember? You are a key point in our plan, King. And what was going on out there? I thought you hated battling.”

    “Well, I do...It’s just...” N trailed off.

    “It’s just what, Natural?” Ghetsis was running out of patience with his son; it was clear since he never used N’s real name.

    “Well, I met this girl...” Ghetsis raised a brow. N waved it off, panicked. “N-no, no! It’s not like that. I was waiting in the Pokemon Center for your speech, see, and then I seen her in there talking with her Tepig. From what it looked like, it seemed that she could hear him. You know, like I can! So I wanted to find out for sure.”

    “That’s ridiculous. You are special; that’s why we need you. Nobody else can possibly understand Pokemon like you.” Ghetsis didn’t seem to take N’s story as a proper reason.

    “I know, I know. But she’s different too! There’s something about her...” N stared off for a moment before waving it off. “But I don’t know. Like you said, no one else could possibly be like me. Anyways, she was the reason I joined the battle.”

    “Whatever. Still, that’s against your usual attitude. You don’t like battling, if I’m not mistaken.”

    “I don’t, really. If it seems like I was enjoying myself, I apologize. But it was terrible thing to do. I... I regret ever choosing to join that battle,” N lied.

    “Hm. Whatever, it’s none of my concern. As long as you keep up with the plan, what you put your friends through is your business, I suppose. Now, for what I really called you for.” Ghetsis pulled open a drawer of his desk and took out a long, thin rectangular prism. He handed it to N.

    “Uh, a map?”

    “Yes, a map. You’re going to need it. N, I’m sending you off on a mission. You won’t return here until it’s over. I may have a grunt or two sent out with you at times, but you’ll be on your own for the most part.”

    “What? Why?” N didn’t mind it really. He had been wanting to explore Unova on his own for a while now. Still, it was odd for Ghetsis to push N away for any long period of time. Ghetsis liked to keep tabs on his people, especially important ones.

    “Because, N, we need the Cartridges.”

    “Cartridges? What Ca -- Oh. Those.” N was disappointed. It sounded like he was to go on a big journey. Instead, N’s task was to visit a remote lab in the middle of nowhere and come right back.

    “Yes, those. Normally, I’d just send a grunt to pick them up from our other lab, but I cannot do that. The blasted things have been stolen.”

    “Stolen!? By who?”

    “Some International Police officer. Said he was ‘claiming it for evidence’. Evidence of what, who knows. We haven’t been charged with anything. At least, I don’t think...” Ghetsis looked through some papers on his desk.

    “Well, didn’t you catch him?”

    “Actually, yes, we did. But he had already hidden the Cartridges and refused to tell us where he put them.”

    “Who was this guy anyways? I’ve never heard of the International Police before.” N leaned against the wall and thought for a moment. “Nope, nothing.”

    “Neither had I. Apparently he goes by Looker or something like that. We’d have been more intensive in our interrogation, but he escaped before we got anywhere. It’s actually quite impressive, really. And so very annoying.” Ghetsis drummed his fingers on the table for a moment. Then after adjusting the red-tinted monocle that rested over his right eye, he continued. “Thankfully, one of our scientists figured out that one of the predecessors in the old lab had bugged the chips in them. With that, we know exactly where they are. But our grunts are too busy and not skilled enough to retrieve them.”

    “Why? Where are they?”

    “Oh, that Looker was one smart agent alright. He gave them to the gym leaders...” Ghetsis growled.

    “Ah. That is annoying. So what do you want me to do? Steal them back? Stealing isn’t right.”

    Ghetsis rolled his eyes. “Remember, that so-called ‘police’ stole them from us first. We’re only...taking back what’s rightfully ours.”

    “I don’t think the gym leaders would agree with that.”

    “No, I don’t think they would either. So don’t get caught. That would involve a lot of paperwork and finesse on my end and, frankly, I don’t have the time.”

    “Well, alright, if you insist. Is that it?”

    “Uh, no. There’s one more thing you have to do. This one will take the most time, so think of the first mission a... side quest of sorts. Though you still have to do it, naturally. I need you to go out and collect the gym badges. Take the League challenge.”

    “What!? You want me to battle!? Against all those leaders with really tough Pokemon? Why!?” N grabbed the pendant on his necklace like he usually did when he was worried.

    “Because I said so, that’s why. You need to have all eight badges for our plan to work.”

    “But, but...But I don’t want to!” N’s eyebrows were tilted upwards towards the middle of forehead as he pleaded.

    “I. Don’t. Care,” Ghetsis enunciated forcefully. “You need them, and that’s the only way to get them. Do you dare to disobey me?” Ghetsis stared at N intensely. He was keen not to give in.

    “No, of course not, Daddy. I-I’ll do it. I’ll take the challenge.” N couldn’t fight his father’s wishes. That would be a one-sided battle that would definitely not end in the boy’s favor.

    “Good,” he said slowly, savoring his victory. “Now go. Your sisters are waiting for you. They’ll help you prepare for your journey. Oh, and you should know that I won’t be watching you as much anymore. I have entirely too much to do to keep that up. But I trust you won’t disappoint me... Right, Natural?”

    N gulped. “R-Right, Daddy. Um, I think I’ll be going now.”

    As in N reached for the door handle, Ghetsis spoke one last time with a grin that made him think that his adoptive father really was becoming crazier by day. "Good luck out there, N... You'll need it."

    N whispered a brief and insincere thanks before closing the door behind him and sighing with relief. Silently, he reprimanded himself for being scared of his own father, and wandered down the marble hallways to find his sisters.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Alrighty, thats it for Chapter 3.
    I know, I know, I'm suppose throw out TTL 12 first, but when o have the inspiration... it's best not to squander it.

    And just like that, N becomes a main character!

    Yes, Ghetsis is a weird person.
    Yes, my Looker is actually competent.
    Yes, the reasons Looker took the Cartridges are vague. And the reasons why he gave them to the leaders are also vague. That'll be cleared...eventually.
    Yes, I did forget Bianca after her Tepig went down. Sorry Bel. Nothing personal.
    Yes, that battle was very one-sided.
    Yes, that win was pretty unreasonable.
    No, I don't care.

    Well, 'till next time!
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  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brutaka View Post
    Yes, Ghetsis is a weird person.
    Yes, my Looker is actually competent.
    Yes, the reasons Looker took the Cartridges are vague. And the reasons why he gave them to the leaders are also vague. That'll be cleared...eventually.
    Yes, I did forget Bianca after her Tepig went down. Sorry Bel. Nothing personal.
    Yes, that battle was very one-sided.
    Yes, that win was pretty unreasonable.
    No, I don't care.

    Well, 'till next time!
    Took the words right out of my mouth.

    What can I say? This was pretty good! I'm quite interested in N and Amy's future interactions. How will he react if he learns that she's a Pokemon? I shudder to think. I'd like to imagine him trying to help her or something, or at least getting in the way of her friendship with Luke.

    I still would like to imagine N as a bit more reluctant to join the battle, but hey, you're the writer, not me!

    Also, N's full name being "Natural"? What can I say, it's only natural.

    Quote Originally Posted by /b/ board
    What does Cheese Pizza mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Klizcool View Post
    Took the words right out of my mouth.
    Mhmm. Answers to questions I would have asked.

    What can I say? This was pretty good! I'm quite interested in N and Amy's future interactions. How will he react if he learns that she's a Pokemon? I shudder to think. I'd like to imagine him trying to help her or something, or at least getting in the way of her friendship with Luke.
    Yeah, I'm still planning that all out, but it'll be neat to say the least.

    I still would like to imagine N as a bit more reluctant to join the battle, but hey, you're the writer, not me!
    Well, he had a reason to join. He hates to battle, but there was something about Amy...

    Also, N's full name being "Natural"? What can I say, it's only natural.
    That's actually his real canon name.
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  16. #41
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    Will amy be susceptible to the mental effects, like sparky in through thunder/lightning? Maybe unable to understand pokemon over time. and is that what happened to N?
    They say if you press cntrl and W you get to see the programming of a website after making a signature with 3 ws and 8qs
    Fanfics I like that are still in production: Author's Run, Pokémon emerald the better version

    This the aquabats song awesome forces:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx4sL0w3SHM
    and here is their song shark fighter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wchrctxFo

    I NEED A BETA READER!
    Check out my fic.
    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...2#post14945242

  17. #42
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    I wonder if Looker will still have his ridiculous way of speech and action.

    Also, Cutlerine did a competent Looker as well, so I'm not surprised to see it happen again.

    I was hoping to see more of Amy's groups point of view this chapter, but since this the first introduction of another main character, it is better to give them full spotlight for the chapter.

    Not much else to mention about the story in general, I like it and look forward to being able to beta read further chapters for you again at some point. It doesn't feel right to do so without the author there as well. Stupid work hours and tech ban.


    Credit to Brutaka for the amazing banner and user bar. Yeah, having 2 is redundant, but it shows you guys my favorite pokemon, what story I had planned and my position in the WoJ.

    Time, there's never enough of it but it's always there to waste.
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  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rotomknight View Post
    Will amy be susceptible to the mental effects, like sparky in through thunder/lightning? Maybe unable to understand pokemon over time. and is that what happened to N?
    There is a good reason why Shane developed the ability to read PokePrint, but it isn't the same reason for Amy to lose the ability to understand Pokemon.
    In short, no, Amy will probably keep that ability throughout the story. And N still has his...and still has them in the games too, so I dunno what you meant there.

    Quote Originally Posted by Azurus View Post
    I wonder if Looker will still have his ridiculous way of speech and action.
    I'll try!

    Also, Cutlerine did a competent Looker as well, so I'm not surprised to see it happen again.
    Ah, I didnt know. Didnt read it. But KF was telling me how lots of the fics he reads with Looker in them have a lame Looker.

    I was hoping to see more of Amy's groups point of view this chapter, but since this the first introduction of another main character, it is better to give them full spotlight for the chapter.
    It would have been nice to write as well, but I needed to bring out our third character, so yeah.

    Not much else to mention about the story in general, I like it and look forward to being able to beta read further chapters for you again at some point. It doesn't feel right to do so without the author there as well. Stupid work hours and tech ban.
    Hm. You know, you can read it over whenever, I dont mind. You dont have to be there with me.
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  19. #44
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    Put me on the PM list or DIE! I love the idea of a Pokemon turning into a human, which I always wondered about. I also love how this fiction is intertwined with Pokemon BW. Keep up the good work!
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
    2. Arrogance
    3. Writer's Block

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by JFought View Post
    Put me on the PM list or DIE! I love the idea of a Pokemon turning into a human, which I always wondered about. I also love how this fiction is intertwined with Pokemon BW. Keep up the good work!
    Haha, thanks! I'll put you on the PM list right away! Glad you like it!
    ~Author's Profile ||~|| <Fly High Graphics> ~
    ~rTTL: Chapter 3: 31% ||~|~|~|| rAVT : Chapter 2: 0%~



  21. #46
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    From the new WoJ Review Game! I just finished reading this, and enjoyed it much more than I thought that I would. I was thinking that it would be just another PMD story, which is not really my interest, but I really like the concept of this. It seems like a cool concept to think that whenever a person transforms into a Pokemon, the inverse also occurs. Anyway, I'll split the rest into a few categories...

    Plot: Like I said, you have a really neat idea with the... Human Mystery Dungeon. I hope that you will implement this fuller as you go. Maybe have Amy relate a forest/route/desert to a dungeon? I also like how you have added the BW characters. I never would have thought of taking that battle with N in Accumula and escalating it with the rivals of BW and your own group. I was wondering how you were going to pull the Vulpix thing, since she once spoke to these Pokemon, and that was handled well, as was N seeing her communicate similar to how he does. N's journey was given a good explanation, but I want to see how the gym leaders deal with being asked for the drives. Speaking of which, I'm really excited to see if Amy does gym battles, but at the moment I can't see her doing that.

    Characters: Crest might be one of my favorites so far. it was cool to hear what the starters have to say. Ghetsis is really a well spoken evil mastermind, and I like how you have incorporated him and Looker already having met. N has a good adaption, and I like how you have given him and Amy similar skills. I'd love to see it when he confesses to being part of Team Plasma, how Luke and Amy react. Luke was given a good personality for how it contrasts with how Amy acts. The biggest thing that I don't really understand is the idea of dropping out. How old is he? I would envision a world in Pokemon that you once you complete trainer school (which ends around the time a child is 10), you are able to start your journey. Dropping out just makes it sound like there is a bunch of delinquents running around with powerful monsters. Just my view, though.

    Spelling/Grammar: I don't have much to say here. Most of it is good. However, I don't really care for the use of the word "anyways". Anyway is the right word and I'm not sure if there is even a need for the s. In chapter 2, this line is used when Luke's mom is helping Amy pack...
    "It's a Bag. You can keep your clothes in it. And anything else you need too, of course."
    I think that I would say, instead of "too", replace it with "to have/keep/etc.". To me that sounds better.

    Descriptions: I love how you described Amy at the beginning. It was a good adaption of a Vulpix to a person. You did best elaborating on people, but I still enjoyed seeing technology through Amy's eyes and how crazy everything was. I don't have much else to say about this one, I guess.

    Enjoyment: I liked this a lot more than I thought that I would! It was really a good story and I hope that you will get back to this soon, as I see that you haven't added to this in a while. Hey, add me to the PM list should you start this back any time soon!
    I've gotten into IV Breeding. I'll breed any Pokemon that can, just ask and I'll see what I can do!


    What happened after Ruby and Sapphire? This is my interpretation. Click the banner to read!
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  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaziken10285 View Post
    From the new WoJ Review Game!
    I find it odd that KF used my fic to start it off and even more weird that it was originally for TTL. He must of switched it when i wasn't looking. >_> <_<
    I just finished reading this, and enjoyed it much more than I thought that I would.
    Well that's always a good thing. Better than the opposite anyways.

    I was thinking that it would be just another PMD story, which is not really my interest, but I really like the concept of this. It seems like a cool concept to think that whenever a person transforms into a Pokemon, the inverse also occurs.
    Well, I was trying to think of something new to write about. Something original. As it is, AVT only got 4th in originality in the fan fic awards, but i digress.

    Plot: Like I said, you have a really neat idea with the... Human Mystery Dungeon. I hope that you will implement this fuller as you go. Maybe have Amy relate a forest/route/desert to a dungeon?
    Perhaps. It would difficult to do that though, seeing as Amy forgot all of that. Only brief references like the Luminous Orbs show up. Though I suppose it'd be enough to work with... I dunno.

    I also like how you have added the BW characters.
    Well, it does follow that story.

    I never would have thought of taking that battle with N in Accumula and escalating it with the rivals of BW and your own group.
    I always found it odd that B/W/2 never implemented 6 player Pokemon battles into triple battles, with 3 on each side. They did it for double battles. *shrug*

    N's journey was given a good explanation, but I want to see how the gym leaders deal with being asked for the drives.
    Yeah, I'm still sorting all that out. Heh heh...

    Speaking of which, I'm really excited to see if Amy does gym battles, but at the moment I can't see her doing that.
        Spoiler:- :


    Characters: Crest might be one of my favorites so far.
    He's fun to write anyways.

    Ghetsis is really a well spoken evil mastermind, and I like how you have incorporated him and Looker already having met.
    Looker's like the Doctor; He's everywhere. Even looks like 'em too.

    N has a good adaption, and I like how you have given him and Amy similar skills. I'd love to see it when he confesses to being part of Team Plasma, how Luke and Amy react.
    That's gonna be fun to write as well. Though I am fiddling with the story somewhat. It's amazing what the addition of a single character will do to a story.

    The biggest thing that I don't really understand is the idea of dropping out.
    That actually came from a webcomic i follow.

    Ever since reading that, i sorta have a little head canon that anyone who wants to be a Pokemon Trainer drops out of high school (which is similar to our high school), takes a crash course at the Trainer school, and goes on their journey. Anyone who stays in school goes on to be clerks, or doctors, or builders, or other necessary roles in society.

    How old is he?
    16. Although his age was never established in-story.

    I would envision a world in Pokemon that you once you complete trainer school (which ends around the time a child is 10), you are able to start your journey.
    I think thats what the games portray as how that happens.

    Dropping out just makes it sound like there is a bunch of delinquents running around with powerful monsters.
    I'm perfectly okay with that.

    I don't have much to say here. Most of it is good. However, I don't really care for the use of the word "anyways". Anyway is the right word and I'm not sure if there is even a need for the s.
    Force of habit. In real life, I do use the word "anyways". If you ever find yourself reviewing my work, catch any use of the word "anyways" outside of dialogue, as it should be "anyway".

    In chapter 2, this line is used when Luke's mom is helping Amy pack...
    I think that I would say, instead of "too", replace it with "to have/keep/etc.". To me that sounds better.
    I actually disagree. But honestly, I don't think it's that important.

    I love how you described Amy at the beginning. It was a good adaption of a Vulpix to a person.
    Whoever designed her outfit for when she turned human must think the way I do about clothes. Wait....

    You did best elaborating on people, but I still enjoyed seeing technology through Amy's eyes and how crazy everything was.
    Sometimes you have to take a step back and appreciate all that we have.

    Cell phones! You can talk to people miles away instantly!

    Internet! We literally have all the information known to mankind at our very fingertips! And what do we use it for? Getting into fights with people we don't know.

    Video Games! It's a freaking movie we can control! In real time!

    I'm mean... it's crazy, isn't it?

    Enjoyment: It was really a good story and I hope that you will get back to this soon, as I see that you haven't added to this in a while.Hey, add me to the PM list should you start this back any time soon!
    I'm still working on it, but I do have my other story that I have to release a chapter for first. But I will working on chapter 4 of this as soon as that is done.

    In addition, I'm busy fixing up the prologue and chapter 1 of this story as well. So hopefully I can make that way better.

    Anyways, thanks a load for reviewing!
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    ~rTTL: Chapter 3: 31% ||~|~|~|| rAVT : Chapter 2: 0%~



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