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Thread: The destiny strikes you (PG and PG-13 on last chaps)

  1. #26
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    im sorry about this double posting but i'm from Perú and i really need that you give me the steps to make it good!
    Last edited by Ash Legendary Hero; 27th March 2005 at 2:29 AM.

  2. #27
    Bladzer Guest


    Hey, I just wanted to say that your story is very good, but a little with grammars and spelling too, but from above all that this is a very good fic, keep going! Later

  3. #28
    cool_flygon Guest


    Come on, keep going!! the suspense is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. #29
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    Well here I go!

    Chapter Three Arrival?

    Ash, Brendan and May now were ready to go and rescue Pikachu when they heard a sound

    "Shhh! Listen!" Ash said listening a noise coming from the kitchen

    "Shall we enter in action?" Asked May

    "No! we should wait for the best moment" Said Brendan

    "Ahhh! What a good food!" Said the team rocket in unsion

    After that they started to stand up

    "*Gasps* They are coming! Quick hide!" Said Brendan listening some steps

    Ash May and Brendan hid in the sofa that was next to them and waited for them

    Bulbasaur are you ready? Asked May to her Pokemon

    Bulba! Said the pokemon

    The door opened and then…

    "Ahh! I fell really good! And this is great! Finally we got Pikachu!" Said James

    "Yeah! That twerp didn’t saw us after all!" said Meowth

    "Now let’s head to the submarine!" Said Jessie in a happy tone

    "Ok let’s follow them!" Said Ash at the same time when he thinked

    "Pikachu im coming!"

    When they were at the bottom of the boat they saw team rocket heading to the submarine

    "Now?" Asked May

    "Now!" Said Ash

    "What? The twerps!" Yelled team rocket

    "Go Bulbasaur! Use sleep powder!" May commanded to her pokemon

    "Bulbasaur!" Yelled the pokemon

    A blue powder was realized from bulbasaur’s bulb and that make team rocket sleep when Ash headed using a handkerchief on his mouth and hen he grabbed Pikachu

    "Pikachu are you ok?" Asked Ash

    "Pikapi!" Said Pikachu when Ash hugged his Pokemon

    "I’m so happy that you’re ok! Now let’s wait a moment…"Said Ash when team rocket were standing up

    "Ummmmm........ what? Pikachu’s gone!" Said James very scared

    "Hey team rocket!" Yelled Ash when Pikachu was ready

    "Oh no!" Screamed team rocket

    "Ok Pikachu Thunderbolt them!" Ash yelled

    "Pikaaachuuu!" Screamed Pikachu when it launched a lot of lighting from its body

    The lightings stoke team rocket and launched them to fly

    "Team rocket’s blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn!" Yelled team rocket

    "All right!" Yelled Ash, May and Brendan when a box headed down about to strike May

    "Look out!" Yelled Ash when he pushed May and Brendan jumped and all dodged the box

    "Thanks Ash…" May said when she blushed a little

    "Hey you little lovebirds….." said Brendan

    "I don’t like him/her!" Said Ash and May in unsion

    "Whatever let’s go to the rooms and get some sleep!" Said Brendan

    "Oh yeah! let’s go!" Said Ash

    "*Yawns* I need to sleep a lot!" Said Ash very tired

    "Ok goodnight!" Said May

    "Goodnight!" Said Ash and Brendan when they headed to the room

    When Ash got in the bed Brendan asked

    "Hey it seems that May likes you a bit don’t you think?"

    Ash listened but he ignored it and started to sleep

    "Oh whatever" Said Brendan when he got in his bed and started to sleep

    At the next morning Ash woke up and realized that Brendan, Misty, May, Max and Brock wasn’t in their rooms. He dressed up and started to check all the boat and he founded them in the Cafeteria

    "Hey Ash come here and take your breakfast quick!" Yelled Max

    "Ok!" Said Ash

    "Hey Ash why did you woke up a bit late than us? Asked Misty

    "Oh yeah I couldn’t sleep well...." Ash lied

    "So Ash what you will do when you arrive in pallet?" Asked Brock

    "Well… I think I will go to my house, see my mom, then go to the Prof. Oak’s lab and then maybe meet the trainers who started their journey with the Bulbasaur and the Charmander remember?" Said Ash

    "Oh yeah! I forgot about them!" Said Brock

    "Well I don’t know their names but Gary told me that they are coming at Saturday 9th of the next month!" Said Ash

    "Well I’d like to meet them!" Said Misty

    "Me too!" Said Brock

    "Well just let’s hope that nothing wrong happens until we…."

    "Ladies and Gentleman here’s your captain warning you that have showed some troubles and we have to make an emergency stop! sorry about this" Said the captain

    "Oh no…" Said all the group

    What will happen now? Where did they stopped? Find it out in t3h next chapter!


    Well that's the third part... what do you think?
    Last edited by Ash Legendary Hero; 31st March 2005 at 3:20 AM.

  5. #30
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    sorry for this double post but i figured out that too many spaces were left... hehe *smacks head* better fix it!

  6. #31
    cool_flygon Guest


    YAY! I'm the first one to post after this chapter!!!!
    Once again, very good. gives 8 out of 10!!!

  7. #32
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    The Netherlands


    It's pretty nice. Gotta love the old "I don't like him/her!" in unison
    But don't use asterisks (*), they make it look weird.

    Paired up with Avegaille

  8. #33
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    Well yeah but tell me... why did u told me that i don't use this: *? Sorry but i don't remember how to spell it in english ok? just answer me and well maybe i will work in another fic (new) for maybe next week

  9. #34
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    The Netherlands


    It makes it look weird... Like a chatlog or something Let me give an example. You had this:

    "*Gasps* They are coming! Quick hide!" Said Brendan listening some steps
    Which could be changed to...

    Brendan gasped, as he heard footsteps. "They are coming! Quick, hide!"

    Paired up with Avegaille

  10. #35
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    Oh yeah well next time i will try to stop using it ok?

  11. #36
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Land o' Cheese, Wisconsin


    Funny how when ever someone says "It can't get any worse...." or "Well just let’s hope that nothing bad happens until we…."
    something does happen.

    Love the story, and your sig too! Update again soon please!
    Jetshipping (Hilbert x Skyla) is my BW OTP

    Banner by Kamex

  12. #37
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    Hehe thanks about your oppinion about my sig... thanks and now i'm thinking on the 4 chap! well here's a spoiler:     Spoiler:
    well if it was wrong... it's my fault! XD

  13. #38
    cool_flygon Guest


    I can't wait!!!!!

  14. #39
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    Well anyone who wants the real kind of shippings in here and want the spoiler which will explain it send me a private message! ok?

  15. #40
    Sapphire Guest


    This is a good fanfic even though you had some errors here and there but I still enjoyed it! Update soon please! XD

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Lima, orange islands


    i just started reading, and i like it!! i wander why did they stop? guess i'll know the next chapie. Good work
    Please read & review my Fanfiction:
    Friendship, Love, Rivalry and Misunderstandigs
    Now on Chapter 19 !!

  17. #42
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    Let's the madness begin! *evil laugh* err... i mean here i go with t3h fourth chap XD

    Chapter four: No! Not here again! (This is Ash’s and Brock’s mind ok?)

    The boat stopped and Brock decided to go to the captain’s room to make a question to the captain:

    “Hey captain will this boat go off to the Seafoam Island soon?”

    “Yeah it will but we’ll be stuck here for four days” The captain answered

    “What happened with the boat?” Asked Brock

    “Well it seems that the motors are out of fuel but that’s weird…” The captain said in a lowered voice

    “Well better get with Ash and the others!” Brock said when he started to run to the rooms

    “Well what’s up?” Ash asked

    “We’re stuck in this town for 4 days!” Brock said (don’t ask me the name of the town cos I don’t remember!)

    “Now what are we gonna do?” Asked Max

    “This town is familiar to me….” Misty was thinking

    “Hey Mist! What’s going on?” Ash asked

    “Nothing! is only that this town seems familiar to me…” Misty said

    “Err… what do you mean?” Said Brock a bit scared.

    “Hey Brock what’s the problem?” Brendan asked

    “Come with me and I’ll tell you” Brock said while both of them go outside the boat

    “Well what’s the problem?” Brendan asked

    “Keep this as a secret for May and Misty!” Brock said while he started to explain:

    “Well years ago Ash, Misty and I came to this town and when we arrived was the day called: The Princess festival! I want to forget that day for some reasons: In that day the girls get their food free but we the boys had to pay! And another one is: That you have to help your partner girl to carry the things! Is horrible! I’ve almost die there cos the girls are totally nuts when they run to buy cos nothing stops them! And other reason…”

    “Stop! Enough said!” Brendan said in a horrified face

    “Well do you know why is that important? I mean if you remember Misty that day then it will be the madness alive! I mean double madness! With May man I will maybe not survive!” Said Brock very scared

    “Don’t worry man! I won’t tell! You can count on it!” Brendan said

    “Thanks Brendan! Now let’s go to the boat” Brock said

    Brock and Brendan headed to the boat when an enunciator said this (it was heard by the radio)

    “Well ladies and gentlemen Specially ladies! We’re announcing that in 3 days the Princess festival will be up! So get ready ladies and gentlemen prey for your lives! Err… I mean get ready to help your girl partner! See you later in three weeks!”

    “It’s all over…” Brendan said

    Then Ash run like nuts out of the room (even faster that a ninjask!) as he arrived to a mountain and yelled:

    “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    After that Brendan asked Ash:

    “Where did you go?”

    “Didn’t you heard what did I yelled?” Ash asked

    “Oh yeah that… lucky that Misty and May were sleeping” Brendan said

    “They fainted after what did they heard by the radio! That only means one thing!” Ash said

    “I know… we are dead…” Brendan said when he gasped “Wait a sec! what about Max?”

    “Look…” Ash pointed and Max was chained by Misty and May at the same time that he finished writing a letter that it says: “HELP!!!”

    “There’s no escape…” Brendan said

    “Nobody will survive…” Ash said

    “Well the only thing that we have to do now is wait and hope that we can survive to the total madness in three days!” Brendan said

    "Yeah..." Ash said

    "Hang on a sec! we are four men and 2 girls... so two men should help one right? so i wonder... who should i help?" Brendan said

    "I don't know.." Ash said

    "For me you will help May! your girlfriend... haha" Brendan said

    "May's not my grilfriend!" Ash said

    "Whoa calm down!" Brendan said while he was thinking "He's lying! he really likes May! or he couldn't get mad if i say that..."

    "Anyway we'll decide tomorrow ok?" Ash said

    "Ok!" Brendan said

    To be continued...


    Well that's it! wait! what's May doing here?

    May: why did i didn't talk in all this chap?

    Me: err... well i can explain...

    May: no you cannot! (she's with a hammer)

    Me: Whoa (phew i dodged it)

    May: die!

    Me: wait! if you kill me! you won't get any time with Ash!

    May: *stops* oh good point!

    Me (thinking): Phew it worked!

    May: and how will be the next chap?

    Me: i'll just tell ya *gets closer to may and starts to talk to her ear*

    May: ok, yeah, and that, ok!

    Me: did u got it?

    May: yeah it was cool! the next chap is about...

    Me: whoa May shhhh!

    May oops! sorry!

    Me: anyway did u liked my fic?

    May: yeah

    Me: i'm not asking you May! i'm asking the others!

    May: *glares*

    Me: uh oh! *runs away*

    May: don't run! you little...

    Me (far away): me little? i'm older than you! so shut up!

    May: ah! i'm going to kill you!

    Me: oh no! anyway guys! see you later until i can find a way to calm down May!
    whoa! hey May you can kill anyone with that knife!
    Last edited by Ash Legendary Hero; 9th April 2005 at 2:46 AM.

  18. #43
    cool_flygon Guest


    Very funny,me likie.

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    The Netherlands


    Ohh, poor you Poor Brendan, Ash, Brock and Max. Princess Festival is eeeeevil!

    Paired up with Avegaille

  20. #45
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    XD you said that and well may finaly calmed down phew! maybe the next chap will be for tomorrow ok? (just maybe!)

  21. #46
    cool_flygon Guest


    ok!Hope so.

  22. #47
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    well the next chap will be up to next week for sure (i need to think on the next chap) ok? and well let's pray for The boys lives ok?

  23. #48
    cool_flygon Guest


    Pray...............THAT THE BOYS SUFFER!!!!MU HA HA HA!!!!
    (Just Joking!)

  24. #49
    Sapphire Guest


    Lol the princess festival sounds really evil lol XDD. I can't wait for the next chapter so I'll see how Brock,Ash, Brendan and Max are servants to the girls

  25. #50
    Ash Legendary Hero Guest


    well we are lucky (for men) that we are not in there... anyway read this:     Spoiler:
    got it? well let's wait...

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