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Thread: Tell a joke, die laughing -- New and improved!

  1. #1
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    Default Tell a joke, die laughing -- New and improved!

    simple:
    you tell a joke
    tell people if u liked their jokes
    die laughing.

    ok i'll start with a joke.

    what do you call a guy with no arms or legs, hanging on a wall..
    ...Art

    (please keep jokes told funny, the last thread got shut down partly due to people just posting numbers as jokes)
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  2. #2
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    If a man is skydiving, and his parachute doesn't work, what do you call him?
    A: A hospital. This is gunna be oooooonnnneeee big mess.
    LOL


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  3. #3
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    A man goes into a hospital, and his Doctor says to him:
    "Well, I've got good news and bad news."
    "What's the good news, doc?" the patient asks, worried.
    "Well, you have 24 hours to live."
    "WHAT‽" screamed the patient, "HOW COULD THE BAD NEWS BE ANY WORSE‽"
    "Well," his Doctor said uneasily, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."


    (P.S, Long live the interrobang!)
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  4. #4
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    The game.

    You just lost it.

    Nah I kid, okay here goes, bit short though.

    So I'm on a Whisky diet; I've lost three days already.
    Whether you're a battler or a trader never forget to help those in need; you may need it yourself one day! Spread the good karma and may you be ever favourable in victory!

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scaldaver View Post
    A man goes into a hospital, and his Doctor says to him:
    "Well, I've got good news and bad news."
    "What's the good news, doc?" the patient asks, worried.
    "Well, you have 24 hours to live."
    "WHAT‽" screamed the patient, "HOW COULD THE BAD NEWS BE ANY WORSE‽"
    "Well," his Doctor said uneasily, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."


    (P.S, Long live the interrobang!)





    A man goes into a hospital, and his Doctor says to him:
    "Well, I've got good news and bad news."
    "What's the bad news, doc?" the patient asks, worried.
    "Well, you have 24 hours to live."
    "WHAT‽" screamed the patient, "What's the good news then".
    "The good news is that I have no other bad news" replied the doctor.


    Number of Genwunners = 100
    Number of people accused of being a Genwunner = 100 000 000 000 000 000
    Number of people complaning about Genwunners = 100 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000

  6. #6
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    I feel my joke has been mutilated. I must do another!

    One upon a time there was a purple Kingdom in a purple land where a purple pauper loved the purple princess in the purple palace. The purple princess in the purple palace also loved the purple pauper and they devised a plan: at night the purple princess stole from her purple room, down the purple hallways down the purple steps out of the purple palace and into a purple carriage the purple pauper was leading. The purple guards noticed and took the purple pauper, leading him through the purple yard, in the purple palace, down purple steps, through purple corridors, into the purple dungeons, where the purple guard unlocked with the purple key, shoved him in, and said:

    'Indigo.'

    .
    .
    .
    Yeah, not one of my best...
    Every story has an ending. Nothing lasts forever. Not any more.
    Read My Epic Fanfic -

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  7. #7
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    Ok kries reopened it

    what do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?
    ...Rustle!
    #AlphaSapphire
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    Who's that Pokemon?

    Ash: ....I thought you knew! DX
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

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    finds shiny graveler...

    ...graveler used self destruct

    White 2 team~ all lvl 100~ 8 badges~ E4 complete~ white treehollow complete~ join avenue rank 10~ 81 medals

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    How does Kiku Honda think?
    With....
    His....
    RAMEN NOODLES
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  11. #11
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    what is brown and smells like bananas?

    monkey crap XD
    #AlphaSapphire
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ansem the wise View Post
    what is brown and smells like bananas?

    monkey crap XD
    lol

    How do you kill a hipster?

    By drowning him in the MAINSTREAM!
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  13. #13
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    whats white and can't climb a tree?
    a refrigerator
    Es so Einfach wie Eins, Zwei, Drei.

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    I'm not sure I like the prospect of dying after saying something, but here goes.

    Two men walk into a bar. Ouch.

    Two crows walk into a bar. They look at each other and nod. One of them pulls out a crowbar and attempts to hit the bartender with it, clearly intending to kill! Unfortunately, he misses by a significant margin. The bartender, also a crow, applauds the two gentlemen. As it turns out, the bartender was once an English teacher. He found a lot of amusement in the double meanings of     Spoiler:- bad pun:
    and     Spoiler:- worse pun:
    3DS FC: 3926-4256-2399
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    Two Irish blokes walk out of a bar.
    Last.fm | Steam ID
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    What do you call bread made by a duck? Iced tea.
    Quote Originally Posted by card986 View Post
    of course i can use google. its taught me more then school.

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    What do you get when you play country music backwards?
    You get your money back and your wife back.

    What do you call a mixture between an elephant and a rhino?
    Elephino (Hell if I know)

  18. #18
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    What's green, has four legs, and can kill you if it falls from a tree?


    A pool table

    This is so funny! It has been done.
    Last edited by Klizcool; 30th October 2012 at 11:38 PM.

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    What is it called when someone from England gets pantsed?
    London bridges falling down!
    But you have to admit, for a part-time Nazi

    He's freaking hot.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ansem the wise View Post
    the last thread got shut down partly due to people just posting numbers as jokes)
    Hey, you know what's even funnier than 24?
        Spoiler:- It's...:


    Joke: Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a-salted.
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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoopes View Post
    Hey, you know what's even funnier than 24?
        Spoiler:- It's...:
    Why was six afraid of seven?
        Spoiler:- punch line:

        Spoiler:- anti-joke FTW:

  22. #22
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    What is similar between friends and trees?

        Spoiler:- answer:


    Eh? Eh?
    Signature edited due to exceeding the gif size limit. Please read the signature rules before editing your signature.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hudsonn98 View Post
    What is similar between friends and trees?

        Spoiler:- answer:


    Eh? Eh?
    Why are friends like slinkies?

        Spoiler:- funny haha:

  24. #24
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    what kind of teeth can u buy for a dollar?

    ...buck teeth
    #AlphaSapphire
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  25. #25
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    And I'm guessing you can buy chipped teeth in a hardware store?
    Last.fm | Steam ID
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