Tell a joke, die laughing -- New and improved!

[WaterTrainer121]

Heisenberg may or may not have walked into a bar. (But we do know his momentum, however)

Schrödinger walked into a bar, but didn't at the same time.

[Scaldaver]

I tried to make a good chemistry pun, but all the good ones argon.

...On second thought, how about we take all these bad chemistry jokes... and barium.

A joke about Potassium? K.

What elements do cats like? Iron, Lithium and Neon.

Any Jokes about Sodium? 'Na'


A man walks into a bar and asks for some H2O. His friend goes to the bar and says 'I'd like some H2O too.' He died.

[WaterTrainer121]

Argon walks into a bar.
The bartender denies it service.
Argon didn't react.

Also... What is the most important rule in chemistry?
    Spoiler:- lolz:

Show Spoiler

 
Never lick the spoon.
 

[NintendoCoke]

Jesus walks into a bar and says "I'll just have a glass of water".

[ansem the wise]

Jesus walks into a bar and says "I'll just have a glass of water".

i think i get it but im not sure, i see one of 2 cases here.

what does a bee sit on?

...u guessed it, his BEE-hind.

[SpyroxPikachu]

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man were friends they would be alloys

[Meeker]

Two muffins are in an oven, one licks the other and says, "Is it hot in here?"
The other muffin says, "HOLY **** A TALKING MUFFIN!"

[MasterLucario]

Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you can't pee soup!

[Jacobthepokemonfreak]

A giraffe, a zombie, a panda and a Buffalo walk into a bar.
The barman says "Is this meant to be some kind of a joke?"

If school gives knowledge, knowledge gives power, power leads to greed and greed is evil, does that school is evil?

If telemarketers call give them your 3-year old sibling and tell your sibling it's santa.

[Hydreigon6507]

This one is lame:
Why did the Larvitar eat a mountain?
To get its minerals. *ba dum tsss*

[Ryubane]

a skeleton walks into a bar...

...orders a beer...

...and a mop.

[Skyler 99]

Argon walks into a bar.
The bartender denies it service.
Argon didn't react.

Also... What is the most important rule in chemistry?
    Spoiler:- lolz:

Show Spoiler

 
Never lick the spoon.
 

Did you hear about Oxygen's date with Potassium? It went OK.

Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first chemist says, "I'll have a glass of H2O".
The second chemist says to his friend, "You know, we're not on the job, you don't have to say H2O." To the bartender: "I'll have a glass of water too."
The first chemist goes to the bathroom and cries because his assassination attempt has failed.

Got mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Sorry

[carboncopy]

Here is one :
Pessimist looking at glass of water: It's half empty
Optimist looking at glass of water: It's half full
Chemist looking at glass of water: It's full. Half in liquid state and half in gaseous state.

Here is another :

Q - Whats the similarity between a rhino and elephant ?
A - None of them can ride a bicycle !

Got mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Lol !

[your boss]

What did two Generation 1 Pokemon say when they watched Timone and Pumba?

Kakuna Rattata, oh what a wonderful phrase.

[Phoopes]

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her.

[Dragontail]

A kindergarten teacher tells all her students that she is American
She asks her students if any of them are American.
The students, wanting to be like their teacher, raised their hands.
Only one didn't.
Her name was Kristen.
"Why aren't you American?" the teacher asked.
"I'm a proud Canadian", Kristen replied.
"Why?", asked the teacher.
"Because my mommy and daddy are Canadian."
"If your parents were idiots, what would you be?", the teacher angrily replied.
"Then", said Kristen with a smile, "i'd be American".

[WaterTrainer121]

I found a list of ten puns.

I was hoping that one of these puns would make me laugh, but no pun intended.

[Articuno I]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

And on the subject of chemistry ones, not really a joke but...
Little Jimmy's dead and gone,
his eyes will see no more.
For what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4.

[Gelatino95]

Here is one :
Pessimist looking at glass of water: It's half empty
Optimist looking at glass of water: It's half full
Chemist looking at glass of water: It's full. Half in liquid state and half in gaseous state.

Engineer looking at a glass of water: It's twice as big as it should be

[Phoopes]

Engineer looking at a glass of water: It's twice as big as it should be

Realist: Drinks glass of water for nourishment.