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Thread: Tell a joke, die laughing -- New and improved!

  1. #76
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    A kindergarten teacher tells all her students that she is American
    She asks her students if any of them are American.
    The students, wanting to be like their teacher, raised their hands.
    Only one didn't.
    Her name was Kristen.
    "Why aren't you American?" the teacher asked.
    "I'm a proud Canadian", Kristen replied.
    "Why?", asked the teacher.
    "Because my mommy and daddy are Canadian."
    "If your parents were idiots, what would you be?", the teacher angrily replied.
    "Then", said Kristen with a smile, "i'd be American".
    Tonight, I wanna dance with someone else ~

  2. #77
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    I found a list of ten puns.

    I was hoping that one of these puns would make me laugh, but no pun intended.


    Pokémon Quiz Bowl. It's a thing.

    Every time you have a bad day, just go to Advanced Search, enter "Him in the Court" in the User Name box, and voila.
    I claim Vanillite because it is best Pokémon.

    PEOPLE OF EARTH -- WE ARE YOUR ZILTOIDIAN OVERLORDS.
    RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.


  3. #78
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    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    And on the subject of chemistry ones, not really a joke but...
    Little Jimmy's dead and gone,
    his eyes will see no more.
    For what he thought was H2O
    was H2SO4.
    I wonder why that Articuno just used Mind Reader. What good could it do? Wait a moment...

  4. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by carboncopy View Post
    Here is one :
    Pessimist looking at glass of water: It's half empty
    Optimist looking at glass of water: It's half full
    Chemist looking at glass of water: It's full. Half in liquid state and half in gaseous state.
    Engineer looking at a glass of water: It's twice as big as it should be

    ^ Click this for good times ^


  5. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gelatino95 View Post
    Engineer looking at a glass of water: It's twice as big as it should be
    Realist: Drinks glass of water for nourishment.
    Hi, I'm part of the staff on Pokemon Showdown!, if you have any questions or need any help, VM or PM me.

  6. #81
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    At what time did Jerry Sandusky have a big date?

    When the little hand touched the big hand!

    (sorry)
    Tonight, I wanna dance with someone else ~

  7. #82
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    Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, she gets stuck in the air.


    Number of Genwunners = 100
    Number of people accused of being a Genwunner = 100 000 000 000 000 000
    Number of people complaning about Genwunners = 100 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000

  8. #83
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    Yo momma's so ugly, she made an onion cry!
    Tonight, I wanna dance with someone else ~

  9. #84
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    Yo Mama so fat,
    she doesn't need internet...

    she's already worldwide!


    I could only find yo mama jokes, sorry.
    Black 2 Friend Code: 4900-4933-8066

    I can trade:

    Lickie by PopPrincess_Lyra

  10. #85
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    Yo momma's so fat, not even Dora can explore her!

    Also: Yo momma's so FAT and STUPID, the only letters she knows are K, F, and C.
    Tonight, I wanna dance with someone else ~

  11. #86
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    Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.


    Number of Genwunners = 100
    Number of people accused of being a Genwunner = 100 000 000 000 000 000
    Number of people complaning about Genwunners = 100 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000

  12. #87
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    Yo Mama so stupˇd,
    she got fired at the M&M factory...

    for throwing out the Ws!


    inb4anotheryomamajoke
    Black 2 Friend Code: 4900-4933-8066

    I can trade:

    Lickie by PopPrincess_Lyra

  13. #88
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    Yo momma's so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone!
    Tonight, I wanna dance with someone else ~

  14. #89
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    What do you call a fish without an eye?

    Fsh.


    Number of Genwunners = 100
    Number of people accused of being a Genwunner = 100 000 000 000 000 000
    Number of people complaning about Genwunners = 100 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000

  15. #90
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    What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

    A bench can support a family of 4!

    What do you call a black priest?

    Holy &*!@

    What do you call a group of white people going down a hill?

    Avalanche!
    Tonight, I wanna dance with someone else ~

  16. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragontail View Post
    What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

    A bench can support a family of 4!

    What do you call a black priest?

    Holy &*!@

    What do you call a group of white people going down a hill?

    Avalanche!


    What do you call a group of white people going down a hill?

    The white people pushed by Mexicans and Blacks after using the first 2 jokes.


    Number of Genwunners = 100
    Number of people accused of being a Genwunner = 100 000 000 000 000 000
    Number of people complaning about Genwunners = 100 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000

  17. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hilda View Post
    What do you call a group of white people going down a hill?

    The white people pushed by Mexicans and Blacks after using the first 2 jokes.
    Sorry

    Yo momma's so stupid, she ate the big apple!
    Tonight, I wanna dance with someone else ~

  18. #93
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    all the yo mamma jokes and not one chuck norris joke?

    chuck norris can punch a cyclops between the eyes.

    chuck norris doesnt dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

    when chuck norris jumps into a lake he doesnt get wet, the lake gets chuck norrised.
    #AlphaSapphire
    I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
    If you have a question about my religion, or wish to discuss my religion, the Bible, or anything related to this topic, feel free to PM or VM me, take a look at the information in my profile or visit our official website.

  19. #94
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    Did you hear about the newlywed couple in South Korea?

    They're Seoul-mates.
    Tonight, I wanna dance with someone else ~

  20. #95
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    "Prof. Oak: You have worked hard to become the new League Champion.
    Red: Hell yeah i did. I had to listen to a *** saying he likes effin' SHORTS. I had to rub the back of a seasick captain. I had to put an effin' Marowak's spirit to rest. And I had to put up with the **** your stupid grandson kept saying to me like "Hey loser!" or "Smell Ya Later". Just to figure out HE was the Champion. Yeah thanks, Oak. >
    Prof. Oak: ....Ooook? o_0", from Luigifan1 on YouTube. Keep the jokes relevant.

  21. #96
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    Thumbs up

    Q: What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?

    A: Princess Diana never became Queen of England.

  22. #97
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    Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 turns

    When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push up, he pushes the ground down.

    Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg

    Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built himself.
    [IMG]http://i43.*******.com/343jiwx.png[/IMG]
    Keeping the classics alive

  23. #98
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    Awesome lower picture.

  24. #99
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    tried to replicate shrodingers cat. I didn't need to look to find out what had happened


    Dammit, I've been practically dead. Too busy fighting demons and shadows.......* points evoker at head*....... back to work...* fires*



    † I am a Christian and proud of it! Copy and paste this if you are too.†

  25. #100
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    What do you do when an Egyptian hurts his back?
    Call a Cairopractor.

    *crickets*

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