Tell a joke, die laughing -- New and improved!

[Dragontail]

A kindergarten teacher tells all her students that she is American
She asks her students if any of them are American.
The students, wanting to be like their teacher, raised their hands.
Only one didn't.
Her name was Kristen.
"Why aren't you American?" the teacher asked.
"I'm a proud Canadian", Kristen replied.
"Why?", asked the teacher.
"Because my mommy and daddy are Canadian."
"If your parents were idiots, what would you be?", the teacher angrily replied.
"Then", said Kristen with a smile, "i'd be American".

[WaterTrainer121]

I found a list of ten puns.

I was hoping that one of these puns would make me laugh, but no pun intended.

[Articuno I]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

And on the subject of chemistry ones, not really a joke but...
Little Jimmy's dead and gone,
his eyes will see no more.
For what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4.

[Gelatino95]

Here is one :
Pessimist looking at glass of water: It's half empty
Optimist looking at glass of water: It's half full
Chemist looking at glass of water: It's full. Half in liquid state and half in gaseous state.

Engineer looking at a glass of water: It's twice as big as it should be

[Phoopes]

Engineer looking at a glass of water: It's twice as big as it should be

Realist: Drinks glass of water for nourishment.

[Dragontail]

At what time did Jerry Sandusky have a big date?

When the little hand touched the big hand!

(sorry)

[Hilda]

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, she gets stuck in the air.

[Dragontail]

Yo momma's so ugly, she made an onion cry!

[SpeedDeoxys]

Yo Mama so fat,
she doesn't need internet...

she's already worldwide!


I could only find yo mama jokes, sorry.

[Dragontail]

Yo momma's so fat, not even Dora can explore her!

Also: Yo momma's so FAT and STUPID, the only letters she knows are K, F, and C.

[Hilda]

Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.

[SpeedDeoxys]

Yo Mama so stup¡d,
she got fired at the M&M factory...

for throwing out the Ws!


inb4anotheryomamajoke

[Dragontail]

Yo momma's so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone!

[Hilda]

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh.

[Dragontail]

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

A bench can support a family of 4!

What do you call a black priest?

Holy &*!@

What do you call a group of white people going down a hill?

Avalanche!

[Hilda]

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

A bench can support a family of 4!

What do you call a black priest?

Holy &*!@

What do you call a group of white people going down a hill?

Avalanche!

What do you call a group of white people going down a hill?

The white people pushed by Mexicans and Blacks after using the first 2 jokes.

[Dragontail]

What do you call a group of white people going down a hill?

The white people pushed by Mexicans and Blacks after using the first 2 jokes.

Sorry

Yo momma's so stupid, she ate the big apple!

[ansem the wise]

all the yo mamma jokes and not one chuck norris joke?

chuck norris can punch a cyclops between the eyes.

chuck norris doesnt dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

when chuck norris jumps into a lake he doesnt get wet, the lake gets chuck norrised.

[Dragontail]

Did you hear about the newlywed couple in South Korea?

They're Seoul-mates.

[AndyRedGold]

"Prof. Oak: You have worked hard to become the new League Champion.
Red: Hell yeah i did. I had to listen to a *** saying he likes effin' SHORTS. I had to rub the back of a seasick captain. I had to put an effin' Marowak's spirit to rest. And I had to put up with the **** your stupid grandson kept saying to me like "Hey loser!" or "Smell Ya Later". Just to figure out HE was the Champion. Yeah thanks, Oak. >
Prof. Oak: ....Ooook? o_0", from Luigifan1 on YouTube. Keep the jokes relevant.

[lollygag]

Q: What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?

A: Princess Diana never became Queen of England.

[MasterLucario]

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 turns

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push up, he pushes the ground down.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built himself.

[AndyRedGold]

Awesome lower picture.

[Jacobthepokemonfreak]

tried to replicate shrodingers cat. I didn't need to look to find out what had happened

[TerryJ]

What do you do when an Egyptian hurts his back?
Call a Cairopractor.

*crickets*