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Thread: Pokemon Drama Island (PG -14)

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    Sep 2011

    Default Pokemon Drama Island (PG -14)

    Hello there everyone, this is DarkRecon (soon to be Grim Heaper) bringing you my story straight from, Pokemon Drama Island! It was largely inspired by Dark Ampithere, the who is the most well-known writer of the Pokemon and Total Drama crossover, though I seem to have taken second among most readers, huh.

    Anyways, this story is basically exported straight from, though I'm going to make some very slight adjustments, such as formatting the chapters to the most current style. Either way, I currently have 12 chapters on already so if you wish to read ahead, be my guest and do so, just don't spoil anything here. I'll slowly put chapters up here on the forums, but once the the story here catches up to my current one, it may take a while to update, so be warned.

    Finally, my main motivation behind adding my story here is to get some more feedback from readers and see how I can improve my story. While FF has the review system, most of the time, people just say how nice the story is, I want some actual critique from readers.

    Also, my earlier chapters aren't as good as my later ones, as my writing has improved over time, so take that into account if you will. Odds are, I may have fixed a problem with my writing that was in my earlier chapters.

    Now that I have said everything I wanted to say, onto the story!

    PM List:

    Episode List:

    Episode 1: Welcome to Camp!
    Episode 2: Taking a Leap of Faith! Or Just a Leap for You Non-Religious Types.
    Episode 3: The Amazing Rac- Oh Wait, Wrong Show.
    Episode 4: Extreme Makeover: Pokemon Home Edition
    More to come...

    Episode 1: Welcome to Camp!

    "Hi there!" shouted a red and white jet-looking Pokemon. "Welcome to Total Pokemon Island! I'm your host Latias! And over here is my brother co-host, Latios!" Next to her was Pokemon that looked similar to Latias, only he had an angry scowl instead of a smile and he was colored blue, not red.

    He was grumbling, "I still can't believe that they chose you to be host, didn't you tell them you are-mmmph!" He was cut off when Latias put a hand over his mouth, shutting him up.

    "Anyways, let's get down to business! We have 34 lucky Pokemon, 2 of each type, coming to this not-so lovely island to take part in a competition for, wait for it, 100,000 Pokedollars and a lifetime supply of famous treats from every single region; Casteliacones, Old Gateaus, Lava Cookies, you name them we have them. Before claiming this prize, our contestants will have to endure various challenges and competitions between each other. After every challenge, winners will be invincible from the vote, while one camper will be voted off and forced to walk our Dock of Losers and leave the competition. This is gonna be fun right bro?"

    "Yeah, you float there and tell these campers what to do, when I have to cook meals and do chores." Latios responded sourly.

    Latias stared at him, "Well I have to create the challenges don't I?"

    "No." he answered. "The producers tell you what the challenge will be and then you look it up in that book they gave you and have me do all the work for it. Then you just tell the contestants what they're doing and then you float off to the side, sipping iced tea and lemonade that I serve you!"

    "Well sorry that they wanted a pretty face instead of your ugly mug."

    "Our faces are almost exactly the same!"

    The host and co-host continued to argue, ignoring the first contestant who had arrived on a Lapras. He was medium-sized with white fur, a cat-like face, black claws, tail and horn which was crescent shaped and holding his belongings. He looked at the two arguing legendaries and without speaking a word, walked toward the end of the dock and laid down to rest.

    Another contestant soon arrived on the back of a blue Gastrodon. He lazily got off the Pokemon and walked toward the hosts, he was orange except for a small bit of green on his hump which he had balanced a small suitcase on. His round lazy eyes looked at the hosts who were still arguing and decided that it would be the best if he ignored them.

    A third Pokemon came, though he didn't arrive on another Pokemon since he was able to swim. He was brown Pokemon with yellow fins and resembled a flounder. Two gray lips sat in between his oval eyes. He flopped on over to where the other two Pokemon were with his luggage that he carried by the tail, also ignoring the hosts' feud.

    Another competitor arrived who also swam to the dock. She was small, blue and round with two antennas that had yellow lights on the ends. She saw the two feuding hosts and tried to get their attention by flashing her yellow eyes and lights but they ignored her, so she bounced on over to the end of the dock, suitcase at hand.

    The fifth contest walked onto the dock and to the hosts after getting off a Dewgong. This Pokemon had a small brown body but it also had two identical heads which were connected to its body by a long black neck. "Hey!" one of the heads shouted.

    It got no response.

    "Hey!" the other head shouted.

    There was still no response.

    "HEY!" both of the heads shouted in unison.

    This got Latias's attention. She turned toward the Pokemon and looked surprised, "Oh, so sorry about that! I didn't notice that you have arrived! Well, if it's not too late, welcome to the Island Doduo!"

    "See, told ya my voice would get their attention." said one head.

    The other shook it's head, "No, it was totally my shout that got them to notice us."

    "No it was my voice!" shouted the first head.

    "No it wasn't!"

    "Was too!"

    "Was not!"

    This continued until the both of Doduo's heads started to peck each other, which wasn't smart since they shared the same body and could feel each other's pain.

    "Ow! Ouch! Quit it! Hey, no biting!"

    Latias stared at them with confusion, "If you two are done fighting with, uh, yourself, go stand over to the end of the dock where-." she stopped mid-sentence when she realized four other Pokemon had already arrived beforehand.

    "Wha, when, how, who are you guys?" Latias was dumfounded. How could they have arrived without her noticing them?

    The flounder responded first, "I'm Stunfisk, got here after those two." He pointed a lazy fin at the small orange Pokemon and the black and white Pokemon. "I decided to ignore you and you're boyfriend fighting cause it be too much of a bother."

    "He's not my boyfriend! He's my brother!" shouted Latias

    "Right, and I can't swim." retorted Stunfisk.

    Latias was about to say something until Latios put a hand on her, "Temper, temper." he chided, Latias huffed in response.

    The black and white Pokemon turned his head which had been looking out toward the sea, "I'm Absol, I got here first. I don't like associating myself with others so I walked away from your little argument." he then turned his head back to its original position.

    The orange Pokemon spoke next after he yawned, "Mmm, I'm Numel…got here after Absol. I was feeling tired so I didn't greet you guys. Now that I've done my introduction, I'm going to go take a nap." he closed eyes and snores could be heard from his mouth.

    The last Pokemon flashed its lights to Latias who immediately recognized the camper, "Oh, you must be Chinchou, your application did say that you couldn't talk. How are you?"

    Chinchou smiled and flashed its light a couple times, Latias looked confused, "Um I don't understand. Could you do that again?"

    Chinchou flashed its lights a second time; Latias looked even more confused, "Can someone help me here?"

    "BZZT, IDENTIFYING SOURCE AND REASON OF REQUEST." said a voice behind Latais who turned around to find the source of the new voice.

    Behind her were 3 other Pokemon, one had a triangular shape, consisting of three separate bodies with an eye on each body as well as two magnets and screws on each body, except for the middle one which had a third screw coming from the top of its head. Behind it was medium-sized green Pokemon whose head was mostly white, had two flowers for hands and a green cape on her back. Behind her, was a large green Pokemon that looked like a snake. It had a curling pattern on his side and what seemed to be a collar by his head.

    "Magneton, Roserade, Serperior, welcome! When did you guys get here?" asked Latias.

    Latios answered her question, "While you were talking to the other contestants."

    Latias nodded, "So Magneton, you said that-."

    "BZZT, SOURCE IDENTIFIED." interrupted Magneton, which surprised Latias. " SOURCE IS LATIAS, THE EON POKEMON. REASON IDENTIFIED. REASON IS MUTE CHINCHOU, THE ANGLER POKEMON. CHINCHOU IS USING MORSE CODE. SEARCHING FOR MORSE CODE CHART." it paused. "CHART FOUND, ATTEMPTING TO TRANSLATE." it waited as Chinchou replayed its series of flashes. "TRANSLATION FINISHED, UPLOADING TRANSLATION." its voice changed into a more monotone voice. "I Am Doing Fine. Thank You For Asking. BZZT."

    There was silence. Latias then broke it, "Well, seems that you two will become fast friends." she turned toward the other two Pokemon. "Roserade, good to have you here, same to you Serperior."

    "Thanks." Roserade said as she walked over and stood by Doduo.

    Serperior looked at the other Pokemon and put on a smug smile, "Heh, this shouldn't be too hard." he said as he slithered toward Stunfisk.

    Clanging sounds were heard as a Wailmer came by carrying two passengers. One was a white medium sized Pokemon with red markings and sharp claws. The other looked like a knight with a red and black body and blades on its arms. The two continued to fight even as the Wailmer docked. Only Latios's psychic power was able to split the two apart.

    "Zangoose, Bisharp, fighting already?" Latias asked.

    Zangoose replied first, "Not my fault." she said. "If he didn't keep hitting me with his arms, this wouldn't have happened."

    "How many times have I told you, that's because I was stretching and told you to move away from me. You just refused to move." Bisharp replied.

    "Don't lecture me metalhead." snapped Zangoose, "Just keep your arms way from me." she walked over the end of the dock and stood by a sleeping Numel.

    "Believe me, I intend to do so." Bisharp muttered under his breath as he walked on over to stand by Magneton.

    Shortly, a Samurott came with a passenger standing on its horn. It was standing on one foot, its face shaped like a jackal. His hands had a spike on the back with a third one on his chest. When he arrived, he hopped off the Samurott and walked over and stood near Chinchou after introducing himself as Lucario to the host and co-host.

    Two grey gears arrived next on a Bibarel, both of them were smiling. "Hi, were Klink and were best pals." said one of the gears.

    "We can't be physically separated so don't bother pulling us apart." chimed the other.

    "Aww that's nice, best buddy gears. Don't you think that's nice Latios?" Latias asked her brother.

    Latios grumbled in response.

    "Don't worry about him, he's not always this grumpy, run along now, we have more people coming." Latias said.

    As Klink floated over next to Zangoose, an Empoleon was swimming to the dock at breakneck speed. It stopped when it got to the dock and it climbed on.

    Latias was puzzled, "Umm, I'm sure you didn't sign up for this competition Empoleon."

    "Yeah, I know." he responded. "This guy did." pointing to his trident horn, a small, shiny grey Pokemon was happily munching away on the water and steel type. Some Pokemon chuckled at the sight.

    "Nom nom nom nom nom." it was saying as it continued to chomp away.

    Empoleon sighed, "Mind getting him off?"

    Latias motioned toward Latios who sighed as he used his psychic powers to remove the little Pokemon.

    "Hey wait! I wasn't done eating!" it said as it was dropped onto the dock.

    "Sorry kid, go on now Empoleon." Latias said as Empoleon left. "So what's your name?" she asked.

    "I'm Aron and I love to chew on metal!" he said enthusiastically. At the sound of this, Klink and Magneton moved away while Lucario and Bisharp put on concerned faces.

    Soon enough, a large snowflake, a Cryogonal, floated towards the dock and stopped near the hosts.

    Unsure of what was happening, Latias came over. He saw her and said, "Wait, let me just bask in the sun's rays for a little bit."

    Latias nodded, allowing him to do so. Cryogonal just floated there for a while but then he suddenly adjusted his angle and fired a ray of light toward the contestants. Some of them freaked but Latios was quick enough to use his psychic powers to redirect the light to the campground which created a large smoking crater.

    "Cryogonal!" Latias shouted. "No attacking the contestants!"

    "Aww, I was just going to thin out the competition." he said in fake concerned voice. He then began to chuckle darkly as he went to the end of dock, distancing himself from the other contestants which were giving him angry glares, though he didn't seem to mind.

    The next Pokemon that arrived was a small deer with a flower pattern.

    "H-hi, I'm Deerling." she said with a small, weak voice.

    "Hi there, well, welcome!" Latias said.

    A loud "thunk" was heard behind them. Most people turned to look, only to see a small, oddly shaped rock.

    "Oh, it's just a rock, though it was something important." said Latias as she turned away.

    "I wouldn't be so sure." said a new voice.

    Deerling slowly turned her head. She saw a purple and green vortex with a menacing smile on its face. She screamed, "AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" and ran behind Serperior , cowering in fear.

    "Grahahaha! Classic." laughed the new arrival who was a Spiritomb.

    Latias looked at him with distaste, "Don't go scaring people too much alright Spiritomb? Deerling is easily scared."

    "I-it's true." Deerling responded, still a bit shaken.

    After Spiritomb bounced over, Sawk and Blitzle arrived. After they exchanged greetings with the host, Sawk went to stand by Lucario and Blitzle stood by Deerling. Blitzile gave her a little smile which Deerling looked away shyly from.

    The next contestant that arrived was red and yellow with a flame on its tail and duck bill. "Hey, I'm Magmar." it said.

    Latias seemed confused, "Okay, but you're a bit early."

    "Really? Because Blastoise said- ." Magmar's form immediately changed into a black and red fox-like Pokemon. "-I was supposed to get here earlier."

    Latias was surprised, what was in front of her wasn't Magmar, instead it was Zoroark.

    "I did not see that one coming." Latias said.

    "Yeah, but I did." said a new voice. Latias turned around and saw the real Magmar. She let out a quick huff. "Why did you choose me to transform into?" she asked Zoroark.

    "Because, I didn't know who had already arrived but I saw you on your Jellicent as we arrived here so I thought, why not?" he responded.

    Magmar let out a quick "Hmph" before joining the other contestants.

    The next Pokemon to arrive slowly floated down from the sky. When she touched the dock, she folded her wings which made her body seem like a cloud.

    "Welcome Altaria." said Latias, "It's nice to finally have a fellow dragon type here."

    Altaria smiled, "Thanks." she said and walked to the other contestants.

    A Spinarak arrived next on a Slowpoke and greeted the hosts cheerfully before it went to wait by Spiritomb.

    A medium tan cat Pokemon with a red jewel on its forehead arrived next. Latias greeted her with a smile, "Welcome Persian, it's nice to see you."

    "It's nice to see you too commoner. I would have you call me 'majesty' but since you're the host, I'll let it slide." Persian responded. This statement offended Latias quite a bit. Persian looked over toward the other campers, "All of you over there, don't forget to shower me with praise you hear? Unlike most of you, I don't come from a shabby background."

    "Talk about narcissistic." whispered Sawk to Lucario who calmly responded with a nod.

    "Now is there some who can take my bags for me, I don't want to break a nail-." she stopped mid sentence when she noticed Absol. She began to walk over to him and purred, "Hello, handsome." she said to him.

    Absol turned his head to look at her, and then looked away without saying a word. Persian was shocked.

    Some laughed at her predicament but the next contestant had caught their attentions.

    A green haired beauty with slender eyes and body walked onto the dock, her long white dress flowing in the wind.

    She smiled as she approached the host, "Hello." she said in a calming voice. "I'm Gardevoir."

    Latias smiled, "It's nice to have you here, I'm sure you'll be popular among the viewers."

    Garedvoir smiled back and walked over toward the other contestants. Persian was scowling at her.

    The next Pokemon to arrive were Espeon and Rotom. Rotom cast a curious eye at Latios and floated next to Cryogonal, though he seemed to be chuckling. Espeon walked over to where Absol was and sat next to him.

    "Back off, he's mine." Persian said to Espeon aggressively.

    "Really? If he's with you, then why is he ignoring you?" Espeon calmly asked smiling at the tan cat.

    Persian didn't say anything in response but the next contestant made her grimace.

    "Ew, look at that ugly thing." she said. Espeon turned her head. Talking to Latias was a small brown fish, a Feebas.

    "She might be a nice person on the inside." Espeon responded. "Unlike you."

    Persian's scowl grew deeper.

    Feebas hopped over to the other contestants, settling herself next to Serperior.

    The next Pokemon that arrived was Pineco, he hopped over to Latias who was looking at the other Pokemon at the end of the dock.

    "Oy! Host-chick! Down here!" he rudely shouted.

    Latias turned her head to Pineco, "Hi Pineco, welcome to-"

    "Yeah, save it for later ginger, I don't got all day you know." he bounced off to the group of contestants, some of them giving him a disapproving glare.

    Latias was so shocked that she didn't hear the next contestants arrive. Latios had to tap her on the shoulder to get her to snap out of her trance, "Sis, two more Pokemon are here."

    She regained her composure and moved her arm left and right. However, she accidentally hit one of the contestants who flew towards Magneton, hitting him.

    "BZZT. DAMAGE RECEIVED. SCANNING EXTERIOR FOR DAMAGES." he said as the flying object hit the ground. It was a red shell with many holes in it. Four small tentacles came out of the bottom hole while a fifth one popped out of the top. "Ugh, what happened? I was in my shell and then I hit something hard. Where am I?" she asked.

    Latias flew over, "You okay? I'm so sorry. Anyways, you're on Pokemon Drama Island. I assume you're Shuckle?"

    "Yes." the slightly dizzy Pokemon said. "Where's the other guy?"

    "Other guy?" asked Latias.

    "On your back." answered Latios.

    Latias tilted her head, sure enough there was a small yellow spider with blue eyes staring at her with a happy face. "Hi I'm Joltik!"

    Silence. "KYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Latias screamed. She disliked bugs, especially when they crawled on her.

    "Get it off get it off get it off!" she was flying around in a panic.

    "Sorry, I get nervous when I'm not holding onto someone!" yelled Joltik, who was holding for his dear little life.

    "Then can you please get off of me? I'm getting dizzy!"

    "If you slow down, maybe!"

    "Not gonna happen! Latios, HELP!"

    Unfortunately, he couldn't as the two of the last four Pokemon arrived, a Lampent and Kingdra. While Lampent floated away to be next to Rotom, Latios was striking up a friendly conversation with Kingrda.

    "Kingdra, no offense but, you look kinda old." Latios told the large seahorse.

    "None taken." Kingdra replied. "The reason why I look so old though is because I spend too much time in my library reading books than going outside and swim in the ocean."

    "So you're a regular bookworm?" Latios asked.

    "I prefer the term philosopher, but yes, I am a bit of a bookworm." He noticed the small commotion going on nearby. "I say, are you sure you're not going to stop that? She is your sister after all."

    Latios shrugged, "Eh, I think I'll let her be like that for a few minutes, she needs a little exercise."

    Kingdra nodded, "I see."

    He went on over to the other end of the dock as the second to last contestant arrived, a Sigilyph. As it floated down, it seemed that his three eyes were transfixed onto something.

    "Hello?" asked Latios. He got no response. "Earth to Sigilyph." he continued. No reaction. Latios then waved his hands back and forth in front of Sigilyphs face. This time, he got a response.

    Sigilyph was blinking, "Woah, sorry there, I was having some weird vision just now. Didn't mean to ignore you." he told Latios.

    Latios nodded, "It's fine, mind calming down my sister though? She has a bug Pokemon on her back and she's deathly afraid of them."

    Sigilyph nodded, "I'll see what I can do." he closed his eyes and concentrated. When he opened them, he released a small burst of psychic energy which separated Joltik and Latias, but Joltik flew towards Shuckle, who ducked, causing Joltik to latch onto Pineco.

    "Hey kid, bugger off!" shouted Pineco.

    "Sorry!" Joltik said and he jumped onto Altaria "Am I bothering you?" he asked her.

    Altaria smiled, "Not at all." she replied.

    Latias was panting, "I hate bugs." she said.

    "I find that comment a little rude." said Spinarak.

    Latios shrugged, "She's always been scared of bugs after she-" he was cut off after Latias put a hand over his mouth.

    "Don't ever mention that to them." she growled.

    Latias turned back toward the rest of the Pokemon with a smile on her face, "Alright, let's get prepared to meet our last camper who is arriving right now!"

    As soon as she said that, a large purple shell was dropped onto the dock by a Walrein. A faint mumbling could be heard from inside the shell.

    Latias motioned for Walrein to come over, "Um, Warein, what's with him?"

    Walrein shrugged, "Don't know ma'am. He was fine when I picked him up. Then while we coming over, he clammed up and then he started that mumbling. Anyway, gotta go, running late." and with that, Warien left.

    Latias looked toward the shell, "Look Cloyster, come on out we know you're in th-"

    "I'VE GOT THE PERFECT PLAN!" the newcomer said as he opened his shell, interrupting Latias.

    "I'll spike their foods so that they can't participate in challenges, allowing me to win each one, and win! It's perfect!" he said and cackled like a madman. Then he realized he had arrived at the island and all the other Pokemon were frowning at him. "Oh, uh, seems that I arrived." he looked a bit sheepish, "By any chance did one of you not hear what I said?" the other Pokemon shook their head left and right. "Didn't think so." He said.

    He bounced over to the other end of the dock and settled himself next to Kingdra.

    Latias clapped her hands, "Now that you're all here, let's move to the center of camp and I'll explain all the details that weren't provided in the application. Latios, grab all of their stuff if you be so kind?"

    Latios grumbled and reluctantly used his psychic power to pick up the campers' luggage.

    Once everyone reached the center of camp, Latias spoke, "All of you will be divided into two teams. Team A, also known as the Legendary Lugias and Team B, known as the Honorable Ho-ohs." She took out a list.

    "Our Lugias are, Bisharp, Lucario, Blitzle, Gardevoir, Kingdra, Roserade, Zoroark, Joltik, Lampent, Rotom, Magmar, Sigilyph, Shuckle, Stunfisk, Espeon, Klink and Spinarak."

    "The rest of you, meaning Deerling, Zangoose, Serperior, Feebas, Absol, Persian, Numel, Cryogonal, Cloyster, Spiritomb, Pineco, Altaria, Sawk, Doduo, Magneton, Aron, and Chinchou, will be Ho-ohs."

    Latias gestured behind her "Cabins are behind me, one for each team and boys will get one side, females the other. All of you are between 16 and 18 so we'll leave you unsupervised but we don't want any shenanigans either so the cabins aren't coed. Also, don't destroy the cabins, especially you Cryogonal."

    "Hey, I do what I want, no need to listen to you." he responded.

    "Fine." Latias said. "As long as you find the materials and repair it yourself without anyone's help, then go ahead."

    That shut him up.

    Latias continued "Alright, grab your stuff since we are going to have our first challenge real soon. Meet me here in 15 minutes and I'll bring you to the challenge site."


    Latias was shown floating in a small metal room, "This is our restroom confessional, where you can say what's on your mind, tell us about something, gives us dirt on other players or rant for however long you want. We might show what you say in here, we might not, depends on if it is interesting or not."


    Sigilyph was staring blankly at the camera.


    Joltik was looking around the room nervously, "I don't know if I'm gonna use this place often, I don't like being alone."


    Cryogonal's brow was furrowed in frustration, "Grrr, Latias told me not to destroy this place either. Is there nothing I can obliterate on this island?"


    Numel's body was leaning against the wall of the confessional. A light snore could be heard as he slowly slid onto the floor.


    Aron was happily chewing on the wall, "Nom nom nom nom nom. Man the steel in this room is delicious! Wonder what the iron to carbon ratio is."

    A knocking sound was heard outside the confessional, "Aron, no eating the walls! Do I have to make you rebuild this confessional?"

    Aron suddenly stopped eating and spit out the metal he was chewing, "No ma'am!"


    At the center of camp, Latias waited until all of the campers arrived "Ok, are we all set?" she asked. Her question was returned with a couple of nods. "Alright then, follow me!"

    "Yay, our first challenge, I'm so excited." said a sarcastic Stunfisk.

    "Oh it can't be that bad." said a floating Rotom. "They probably won't have something too hard for our first challenge."

    "You've got a point." said Lampent as she floated nearby. "Maybe something like building a small shack or an obstacle course."

    As they continued to walk, they went up a fairly steep hill. When they finally arrived at the top, they were greeted with nothing except for a cross Latios.

    Latias turned around to look at the campers, "Alright we're here at the top of a thousand foot cliff, the location of your first challenge, which I like to call 'The Great Leap Downward'!"

    Some of the Pokemon stared, especially Sigilyph. What could their first challenge exactly be?

    Next Time: The obligatory cliff jumping challenge begins! What awaits the campers at the bottom of this hellish jump?

    Hmm, exporting this story wasn't too hard, just had to change some small details here and there. Anyways, I'd really like some constructive feedback and I know you can't really critique much with just the first chapter, but try to anyway.
    Last edited by Recon; 23rd May 2013 at 4:35 AM.
        Spoiler:- Want my Friend Code?:

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2012


    Heh. I like this already. Just a prob with quotation marks, when you go liek this
    "Welcome to Nimbasa!"
    you do this Proper
    "Welcome to Nimbasa!" said Greg.
    instead of this Improper
    "Welcome to Nimbasa!" Said Greg.
    You do that a lot so fix it and you're good.
    Nothing else for now! See ya!
    Formerly Grav.
    Quite inactive, but still available. If you have a fanfic that no one wants to review, PM/VM me and I'll give you a hand.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011


    Quote Originally Posted by Grav View Post
    Heh. I like this already. Just a prob with quotation marks, when you go liek this
    "Welcome to Nimbasa!"
    you do this Proper
    "Welcome to Nimbasa!" said Greg.
    instead of this Improper
    "Welcome to Nimbasa!" Said Greg.
    You do that a lot so fix it and you're good.
    Nothing else for now! See ya!
    Thank you, this is the kind of thing I need for my story, a couple pointers to make the story grammatically correct, stupid word auto correct.
        Spoiler:- Want my Friend Code?:

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2011


    I had this up earlier, but I made some small edits, well it's here now!

    Episode 2: Taking a Leap of Faith! Or Just a Leap for You Non-Religious Types.

    "Alright, as you all know, this challenge is called 'The Great Leap Downward'." Latias said. "In this challenge, you'll have to jump down from this cliff-. "

    "Jump down from this cliff? Are you crazy? You'll kill us you nutter!" shouted Pineco.

    "Now, now, let me finish, after jumping down the cliff, you're going to-"

    "Die." finished Stunfisk. "We're going to die."

    Contestants began to freak out.

    "Calm down guys, you're not gonna die, just listen to me." Latias said.

    The contestants were still freaking out, while Latias tried to calm them down.

    During all of this, Latios pulled up a lawn chair and a pitcher of lemonade. Sitting down, he put on some sunglasses and poured himself a glass of lemonade while watching his sister try to ease the contestants' anxieties.

    "I don't want to die!"

    "You're not going to die! If you would just listen to me-"

    "I thought this was a reality show, not a murder house."

    "It is not! This IS a reality TV show let me-"

    "Didn't think my life would end here and like this…"

    "Just listen to me for one second …"

    Latios noticed his sister's temper rising. He took out a megaphone and pressed a button. A loud screech filled the area. This got everyone's attention. He then held it to his mouth and spoke into it, "If you would all kindly look over the cliff, we would like to show you what's there. Don't worry; we're not going to push you off. Cryogonal, I see you charging another solarbeam. Don't even think about it or I'll throw it back at you."

    At this, everyone looked at Cryogonal who was charging up a Solarbeam like Latios said. He stopped and glared at the co-host, mumbling "party popper" under his breath.

    The other contestants walked over to the cliff. Latias just stared at her brother, "Where'd you get that megaphone?"

    "Regigigas." Latios answered. "He's got a ton of these things lying around. I heard he ate one in a bet during college. Some of the parts got caught on his vocal chords though. "

    "So that's why his voice is so loud sometimes." Latias realized. "Mind getting me one?" she asked.

    Latios shrugged, "Maybe, I was planning on meeting with him after we finished the show though."


    "As much as I don't like my sister, there's this one side of her you don't really want to see." Latios admitted, "I don't want to say she's bipolar, but after a certain point, she'll snap. And when does, it ain't pretty."


    "Those kids are lucky that Latios was there to keep me in line." Latias said with a scowl, "If they would let me finish a sentence, everything would be fine. However they have to be so impatient and whiny about things even when they could perfectly safe. Jeez!"


    By this time, most of the contestants were looking over the edge and realized at the bottom, there was a large pool.

    Latias sighed, "Now that you know that there's a pool at the bottom, let me explain your first challenge. You are jump into that pool of water from up here. If you land inside it, you get your team a point. If you land outside of it, you still get a point for jumping but you'll end up with severe injuries and be brought to our resident nurse, Audino. So basically, if you touch the water, you're safe and you help your team. Any questions now?"

    A couple of hands were raised.

    Latias sighed, "If they involve you getting injured, please put your hands down."

    All hands went down.

    Latias looked around, "Alright, now that there are no questions, Ho-ohs, you guys go first."

    There was silence, "I'll do it." Serperior said.

    "You sure?" asked Feebas.

    Serperior nodded, "Yeah, besides, there's no way I'd hit the ground." he slithered over to the cliff, coiled up, and sprang over the edge.

    They waited, and heard a splash. He made it into the water. The members of the team sighed in relief.

    "I'll go next." Feebas said.

    She jumped and landed in the water as well.

    Chinchou, Spiritomb, Doduo, Absol, Zangoose and Sawk all went next. Cloyster followed soon after, jumping down while cackling madly. Magneton went next, floating down, with Cryogonal and Altaria floating into the pool right after. Deerling was too scared and didn't jump. Aron jumped next, though he was more interested in the metal wall of the pool. Before he could get a bite, Magneton pulled him out of the pool with one of his magnets thanks to Spiritomb's advice. Only Numel, Persian and Pineco were left.

    "Do you think we can win this?" Feebas asked.

    Serperior smiled confidently, "I think we can. Pineco will definitely jump. Not sure about Numel, depends on if he is awake. It's also very possible that Persian will jump. Besides, I doubt the other team will have enough people jump."

    "Why's that?" Asked Altaria.

    "Magmar, Lampent and Joltik." Spiritomb cut in. "Magmar and Lampent for the obvious reason that they're fire types and hate water. Joltik hates being alone and since he has to jump alone, he probably won't do it and feel safer up there where there are people."

    Serperior nodded at Spiritomb's reasoning. He looked back up the cliff. "Now to see if Numel and Persian will jump."

    At the top of the cliff Pineco was trying to push a sleeping Numel, though he wasn't making any progress, "Grrrrrr...this guy ain't moving an inch! Hey you boiler!" he shouted at Persian. "Help me move this snoozing rock!"

    Persian looked at him, "Sorry, I don't want to hurt myself, or damage my complexion in any way."

    "Fine, then at least jump down you tart!" Pineco shouted.

    "Um…I'll pass." she said. "I don't want to get my perfectly groomed fur wet and I hate water."


    "When my fur gets wet, it puffs up...and I look like a Mareep." Persian said embarassingly, "All my hard work grooming myself, wasted in just mere seconds. I hate it."


    Pineco was pushing Numel as hard as he could. He neared the edge but he slipped, causing him to fall off the cliff and into the water.

    "Bugger! Almost had that sleeping buffoon!" he shouted. He then saw his team staring at him, "What do you blokes want?

    "We just want to know if our last two team members are coming down." said Spiritomb.

    Pineco scowled, "Miss priss isn't coming anytime soon, she's afraid of a smidge of water. She wouldn't even help me push the tired chap, who's asleep so he's not going to do anything."

    Sprirtomb frowned, he had forgotten how cats hated water, but he then remembered the other team also had a cat on it, which caused him to regain his smile. Serperior smiled with him.

    Back on top of the cliff, Latias looked around, "Is that it?" she asked. She got no response, "Alright then, only 14 people jumped for the Ho-Ohs. Lugias, beat that and you win yourselves invincibility from tonight's vote. Who wants to go?"

    Bisharp raised a hand, "I'll go." he said.


    "By volunteering to do this challenge first, I'll gain some recognition and respect from my team." Bisharp reasoned. "And respect is definitely something you need among strangers."


    He dived in, with Blitzle, Roserade, Gardevoir, Lucario, Stunfisk, Kingdra, and Zoroark following after him. Shuckle went next but she didn't jump far enough. When she realized she didn't go far enough, she ducked inside her shell, which hit the ground hard. When she popped out, she looked fine, but she claimed to be a bit "winded" after having her life flash before her eyes. Sigilyph, Klink and Rotom floated down next. Spinarak shot some string out of her mouth which latched onto side of the pool of water. With a Tarzan-esque shout, she jumped and was able to swing into the water. To some competitors' surprise, Espeon jumped down and when she emerged, her fur was perfectly fine.


    Persian scoffed, "Show off." she muttered


    "What was the trick I used to stay dry?" Espeon rhetorically asked, "I coated myself in a thin membrane of psychic energy so no water would get on me."


    There were only three people left on the Lugias who hadn't jumped; Joltik, Magmar and Lampent, just as Spiritomb and Serperior predicted.

    Latias looked around, there were three people on each team that hadn't jumped, "Alright, since both teams are tied, the next person that jumps wins their team invincibility. Any takers?" she asked.

    There was silence, the six Pokemon weren't moving.

    Magmar crossed her arms, "I am not jumping in." she said flatly.

    "Same here." chimed in Persian.

    Deerling was quivering, "W-well, I'm just s-s-scared. What if I d-don't hit the w-water? I'm going to g-get hurt."

    Joltik was climbing around a sleeping Numel's body, "I can't do it unless someone goes with me." he said.

    Lampent was debating on if she should go or not, then she remembered Latias's words when she explained the challenge. She raised her hand, "I'll do it." she said.

    Her team cheered at the bottom.


    "She's brave, I like that." Rotom commented, "Not bad looking either, for an inanimate object. Then again, I possess inanimate objects, so it would work out anyway!"


    She floated off the cliff and was nearing the water. When she got close to the surface, she stopped and floated there. She then dipped her hand into the water and pulled it out.

    "Hey!" she shouted toward Latias. "Does that count?"

    Latias then began to talk with her brother. She looked back down, "We'll allow it." she said. "Therefore, the Lugias are the winners of this challenge!"

    While the Lugias cheered, the Ho-Ohs began to complain.

    "That's bull! How does that count?"

    "That's not fair, how could you allow that?"

    Latias flew towards the complaining contestants, "Well the rules were that if you touched the water, you'd get your team a point. Since Lampent touched the water, she got a point for her team. All she did was find and exploit a loophole in the rules, something any of you could have done. Any objections?"

    The contestants objections turned into low grumbles, they were still bitter about the loss.

    "Alright then Ho-Ohs, I'll be seeing you guys at elimination tonight. You'll vote in the confessional by saying who you will vote for. Once you do that, wait until after sunset and meet me at the campfire pit where the elimination will take place. You can cast your votes anytime before elimination so talk about amongst yourselves and I will see you all later."

    And with that, Latias teleported away.

    Silence. "So, what now?" asked one of the Doduo heads.

    "I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna go eat. Anyone want to come?" Spiritomb asked.

    Cryogonal and Cloyster followed him to the mess hall.

    The rest of the campers went their separate ways.


    The Lugias decided to have a small party in their cabin to celebrate the win.

    "Alright, we've won the first challenge! Let's celebrate!" shouted Blitzle.

    "Yeah!" cheered everyone else.

    Lampent and Rotom were telling jokes, as Sigilyph stared out the window. Spinarak and Joltik were playing on a web in the corner of the room while Stunfisk looked bored. Lucario was meditating, as Kingdra read a book next to him. Espeon, Roserade and Gardevoir were chatting, while Klink, Magmar, Shuckle, and Bisharp were enjoying the party. The only contestant not in the cabin was Zoroark, for he was standing outside gazing toward the sea.

    Gardevoir noticed this and walked outside, standing next to him, "Hey." she said.

    Zoroark looked at her before turning his head back, "Hey." he responded.

    "Why don't you come on in, everyone else is having fun." Gardevoir offered.

    "By everyone, are you including Sigilyph and Stunfisk? Cause I'm pretty sure Stunfisk is bored out of his mind and Sigilyph is just doing what he normally does." he teased

    "You know I meant that."

    "Yeah, I know. Thanks for the offer but I think I'm going to be out here for a while. I need to reorganize my thoughts. Could you possibly close the door behind you when you go back in?"

    Gardevoir seemed disappointed, "Alright." she said and walked back inside the cabin, closing the door behind her.

    Zoroark stood out there for a while. He seemed to be deep in thought.

    He then turned to go into the cabin. He opened the door to see a slightly surprised Bisharp, "Oh, sorry about that." Zoroark said.

    "It's fine." returned Bisharp.

    As soon as the two crossed paths, Bisharp began to whisper in Zoroark's ear, "Meet me on the beach by the dock after the next challenge."

    Zoroark glanced over, "What do you want?" he whispered.

    Bisharp continued to whisper, "I just wanted to talk to you about something; there will be others there as well."

    Zoroark's gaze darkened, he wasn't very sure why Bisharp would come to him, but he had nothing to lose, "Fine." He whispered. "I'll meet you there."

    Bisharp nodded, "Good." and with that, he walked outside.


    "Out of all the people on our team, Bisharp decided to approach me." Zoroark said. "I don't know why he would do that, but his secretive tone suggests an alliance. Perhaps not, but it seems likely, who knows.


    While the Lugias were partying, a couple campers from the Ho-Ohs had gotten together to discuss who to eliminate.

    "Alright, who are we gonna vote for tonight?" asked Serperior.

    Zangoose spoke first, "I say the three people that didn't jump and maybe Pineco."

    "Why Pineco?" asked Feebas.

    "They guy's just flat out rude." answered Zangoose, crossing her arms. "He also doesn't appreciate anything we do. I tried to help him and he just started to yell at me in his dumb Scottish accent."

    "Okay, that's one person, what about the three that were still left at the top?" Altaria asked.

    "If you ask me, I would also vote for either Persian or Numel." Sawk said. "Deerling is just a bit timid and not very confident. She could be useful later on however, we just need to help her gain some confidence. Numel can prove to be a hindrance, he's asleep half the time, not an asset in any way."


    "I'm going to vote Persian. She's very stuck up and rarely helps out." Zangoose said with disdain.

    "I'd wait a couple more episodes, see if she's useful, then vote her out if she isn't." Serperior reasoned.

    "Okay, so it's between Numel and Pineco." Sawk said

    "I would rather keep Numel than Pineco, Numel might surprise us and will be easy to beat if we end up fighting against him in the final two." Feebas reasoned. "And given a small Pokemon like me, I could use all the help I can get!" Altaria patted the fish on the back, with a smile of reassurance.

    "It would be in all of your best interest if you vote out Pineco." said Spiritomb who bounced over with Cryogonal and Cloyster, who's eye was twitching.

    "BZZT. EXPLAIN YOUR LOGIC. BZZT." Magneton said.

    "I HAVE CACKLES!" laughed Cloyster, causing a couple campers to jump. "You don't know? Pineco has been ranting about all of you in the confessional."

    "It's true." said Cryogonal. "When we passed by the confessional we heard him. I was gonna hit that English runt with a Solarbeam but he," motioning toward Spiritomb, "stopped me."

    "What did he say?" asked Feebas

    "I didn't hear all of it." Spiritomb said, "His accent was thick but I did hear 'Curse my bloody ill luck on getting stuck with these barmy blokes!'"

    "What does that mean?" asked Altaria.

    "BZZT. TRANSLATING SLANG." Magneton beeped. "TRANSLATION FINISHED." His voice suddenly turned to one of an angry Irishman. "My luck sucks, I am stuck with a bunch of idiotic people. BZZT."

    "So he thinks of us that way? He's going down." said Zangoose angrily, puncher her hand.

    The other contestants there nodded in agreement.


    Spiritomb was chuckling, "Heh, Pineco was in the confessional alright, for about 5 seconds. I, Cryogonal and Cloyster got the idea that we should form an alliance in order to get rid of the competition. I chose Cryogonal cause he's powerful and Cloyster is smart. They have flaws though which I would really like to change, but for now, I just have to make sure Cloyster keeps his mouth shut about future schemes and Cryogonal doesn't go crazy with his destruction. Why did I choose Pineco to eliminate? He has no use and his constant insults are annoying."


    "I HAVE BRILLIANCE!" Cloyster shouted "I'll freeze everyone here into ice sculptures! Then, I'll throw them into the freezer. That way, they can't participate in any challenges and I'll win! It's foolproof!"

    A knocking sound was heard on the door, as Spiritomb's voice was heard outside. "Cloyster, be quiet in there. You don't want your schemes revealed again right?"

    "Yes boss." Cloyster answered smiling, as his right eye twitched


    It was nighttime and all of the Lugias were at the campfire pit, each one of them sitting on a stump. A small fire crackled as Latios and Latias arrived. Latios was holding a poffin case while Latias was holding a small card.

    "Okay, time for the first elimination of the season." Latias said. "Here's how everything goes. If I call your name, you're safe and you'll come up to Latios who will hand you a poffin depending on your favorite flavor. Whoever doesn't get a poffin will be booted out of the competition and forced to leave the island."

    "Our first Poffin goes to…Feebas." Feebas bounced off her seat and got a blue poffin from Latios.

    "Serperior, Absol, Altaria, Spritomb and Zangoose, you're all safe." The five Pokemon relaxed as they went up to get their poffins.

    "Sawk, Cryogonal, Magneton, Aron and Chinchou, you five are also safe for tonight." As those five Pokemon went to get their poffins, the tension began to rise.

    "Doduo, and Cloyster, you two are also safe." Cloyster rose and went to get his poffin, twitching as he got up. Doduo's heads began to fight over who got the poffin, forcing Latios to give them another one.

    "So, the final four." Latias said. "Deerling, Pineco, Persian, Numel. Three of you didn't jump off the cliff, while the other has anger issues. One of you is on the chopping block while the other three are safe for tonight."

    Deerling looked nervous, Persian tensed up, Pineco was scowling, while Numel was fast asleep.

    "The two of you that are safe are…Deerling and Persian." Deerling let out a sigh of relief while Persian relaxed and went to get her poffin.

    "Pineco, Numel, one of you will be leaving us tonight. Pineco, your bad temper and constant insults have offended a large amount of contestants here, including me. Numel, you're here because you were asleep the whole challenge."

    Pineco's brow furrowed, how could he have been in the bottom two? He actually jumped off the cliff, unlike sleeping beauty next to him. He even tried to push him into the water!

    "The Pokemon who will have another chance at the prize is…


    The numb Pokemon didn't move however as he was asleep. Pineco however, had risen out of his seat and was giving a few choice words.

    "What in the bloody name of Arceus is this blasphemy? You chose the sleeping fool over me? At least I jumped in the bloody challenge!"

    "Yeah but we don't like how rudely you've been treating us." Zangoose said.

    "Y-you are quite m-mean." said Deerling.

    "I couldn't agree more." said Spiritomb.

    The bagworm Pokemon was infuriated, "Well fine, I'm leaving. You guys are a bunch of mad sprogs!" and with that, he left to get his belongings.


    "I don't bloody believe it!" Pineco shouted in the confessional, "I was the first one voted off this crummy island! What the hell! I guess I was right, my team is mental. I was thinking about being nice to them but you blokes know what? I'm not. They can bugger off for all I care. Anyone I want to win? Hardly! I barely know anyone on this show! Now get out of my face you barmy rapscallions!"


    No one saw Pineco off as he left as most of the team had gone to sleep. Cryogonal, Spiritomb and Cloyster however, were plotting in a clearing.

    "Who do you think we should go for next?" asked Cryogonal.

    "No, we need to add to our ranks first. I'm thinking we should ask Persian, she'll fit in well here." Spiritomb said.

    Cloyster chuckled, "Alright, I'll ask her. I'll make sure that she doesn't refuse the offer."

    Spiritomb nodded, "Fine, we're counting on you. Team Eclipse will cast a dark shadow over the competition."

    Next time: On your marks, get set, go! The campers take of in a 3 route footrace to a goal. However, things aren't as easy as the seem, as each course is littered with traps and trickery. One contestant gets battered and bruised while another pulls off a surprising in. In the end, an annoying presence is removed from the game.

    I actually went and did a some editing in this chapter. I changed around a couple confessionals, and even got rid of a couple that I thought were pointless. I also added a couple of character lines here and there to allow more character interaction. Also made some slight edits to speech patterns to adjust each camper to their personalities.

    Anyways, reviews are appreciated, as well as feedback and constructive criticism!
        Spoiler:- Want my Friend Code?:

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Stuck in a Ferris Wheel


    Hi, Recon-kun! ^^ Here to review.

    At this, everyone looked at Cryogonal who was charging up a Solarbeam like Latios said. He stopped and glared at the co-host, mumbling "party popper" under his breath.
    Party Pooper.

    Sprirtomb frowned, he had forgotten how cats hated water, but he then remembered the other team also had a cat on it, which caused him to regain his smile.
    I'm not very sure on this one, so you may want to verify this with someone else. The sentence is rather long-winded. I think (emphasis on think) that it would sound a bit better like this.

    Spiritomb frowned. He had forgotten how cats hated water. Then, he remembered that the other team also had a cat on it, which caused him to regain his smile.

    As I said, not very sure on this one, so you should verify with someone else.


    "She's brave, I like that." Rotom commented, "Not bad looking either, for an inanimate object. Then again, I possess inanimate objects, so it would work out anyway!"

    ... I smell narcicissm. xD

    Zoroark's gaze darkened, he wasn't very sure why Bisharp would come to him, but he had nothing to lose,
    Again, as I said before, not quite sure, but this sounds a little long-winded. If you put a period after darkened, I think it would sound much better.

    "It would be in all of your best interest if you vote out Pineco." said Spiritomb, who bounced over with Cryogonal and Cloyster, who's eye was twitching.
    Add comma where it's bold.


    Pineco's brow furrowed, how could he have been in the bottom two?
    Replace comma with period.

    The numb Pokemon didn't move however, as he was asleep.
    I might be wrong, but I think you need a comma here. It's bolded.

    About the chapters in general, I love and envy your pacing. It's not too fast, but not too slow either. I'm a horrible person when it comes to pacing, so I admire it.

    Like any writer, you make a few mistakes, but it's always excusable. I am a bit sad that you took out a certain confessionary from this chapter that I liked. xD But honestly, you gotz skillz boi. xD

    I look foward to reviewing more of your imported chapters. *horrible italian accent* And make'em classy eh? Gallade only reads classy imported things *shot*

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2012


    Hello. Good chappie. That Numel reminds me of my in game one: had all the good moves and couldn't use them due to zero speed. Regigig has a mouth? One of the worlds greatest mysteries solved. The other is how my Feebas can whup Lance's butt and still have full HP without any healing.
    "Die potato!"
    Formerly Grav.
    Quite inactive, but still available. If you have a fanfic that no one wants to review, PM/VM me and I'll give you a hand.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2011


    Next chapter. I should really slow down with these, I need to work on the new one.

    Episode 3: The Amazing Rac- Oh Wait, Wrong Show.

    "Wake up campers!" Blared Latias's voice over the intercom. "You guys have a challenge this morning! You'll want to get up early cause this challenge will take all day!"

    Most of the campers trudged out of their cabins looking weary. Latias was waiting for them at the center of camp. It had been only a week since the previous challenge yet Doduo's heads were squawking at each other endlessly.

    "See, I told you we had a challenge today!"

    "Yeah, but you also said we would have a challenge yesterday!"

    "I was off by one day, big whoop!"

    "Not one day; every day since the last challenge, you've said that there would be a challenge. You just got lucky today, that's all."

    "Why do you have to be so pessimistic?"

    "Why do you have to be so annoying?"

    "Can it you two before I tie your necks into a knot!" shouted Zangoose.

    “Dear Arceus, those two have been at each other's necks since day one. Literally!” Zangoose said exasperatedly, “Their endless shouting and fights are getting me annoyed, stressed, and causing me to lose sleep. I think most of my teammates would agree that they are nothing but nuisances.”


    “Now I actually regret voting off Pineco.” Spiritomb said solemnly, “Doduo's fighting and Early Bird ability has caused me to lose so much sleep. At least Pineco wouldn't rant at four in the morning.”


    Closyer was laughing, “Those two will be off this island faster than soapy butter sliding on a Teflon coated metal slide!” he shouted as his right eye twitched.


    Doduo was soon silenced by Zangoose, who had smashed their heads together. Latias proceeded to do a quick head count, "Okay, 1, 2, 3, 4…31, 32…hey, seems we're missing someone."

    The campers looked around, Lampent then raised her hand, "It's Rotom, he's not here."

    Klink, who had Joltik scrambling around him, chimed in, "Now that you mention it, he wasn't in his bed."

    "Then where could he be?" asked Latias.


    In the kitchen, Latios had just returned from taking out the trash, grumbling. He had to prepare lunch. Not his favorite job.

    As he opened the fridge door, he was greeted by a blast of freezing cold air. Had he paid attention, he would have noticed that the fridge was floating slightly. After the cold air stopped, Latios was frozen in place. The fridge dropped as Rotom floated out of it, Latios's eyes widening upon seeing him.

    Latios was wrapped by multiple blankets and shivering. “R-r-r-r-ROTOM!” he shouted as his teeth chattered.


    Rotom was howling with laughter, “Oh man, you see the look on his face when he realized it was me? Priceless!"”


    Rotom floated out of the kitchen laughing and noticed the group gathered at the center of camp. He floated over, stifling a chuckle, "Sorry I'm late, Latios asked me to help out it the kitchen."

    Latias raised a curious eyebrow at the statement, "Okayyyyy... Now that everyone is here, follow me to the beach."

    When the contestants arrived at the beach, they saw 3 sets of two flags set up; one was on the beach, another was at the opening of the forest and another was sitting in the water.

    Latias spoke up again, "Okay, let me explain the challenge which I like to call 'By Land, by Sand and by Sea'. This challenge is a race around the island. There are three paths, the water route, the beach route, and the forest route. Before the race starts, each of you will choose one of the paths you want to take. Flying types and all of you that float, you'll have to take the water path, seeing as you all will have an advantage if you take the other paths. Each route is around the same in length, though each path has different traps." Some of the campers gasped. Latias sighed, "Yes there are traps. What do you think we’d make it easy for you?” most campers nodded, “Well tough. You'll find out what they are during the race. When you get back here, you'll pick out a card from that box. You'll find out what those are used for after everyone completes the challenge. Everybody understand?" All of the campers nodded. "Alright, now choose your paths. Make sure you are positive about your choice because once you choose which path you want to take, you can't change it."

    Cloyster, Chinchou, Kingdra, Stunfisk, Klink, Rotom, Lampent, Sigilyph, Cryogonal, Altaria, Feebas and Magneton went to the water, Lucario, Spinarak, Roserade, Magmar, Serperior, Joltik, Sawk, and Shuckle went to the starting line at the forest, while Bisharp, Garedvoir, Zoroark, Deerling, Espeon, Absol, Persian, Zangoose, Doduo, Blitzle, Spiritomb, Numel and Aron stayed on the beach. As the campers moved to their starting points, Bisharp noticed something different about Numel, he wasn't asleep.


    “Spiritomb suggested that Deerling use Worry Seed on Numel.” Serperior explained, “This way, Numel wouldn't fall asleep during challenges and could be useful. Could being the operative word.”


    Latias looked around, all of the campers had taken their place at the starting line, "Okay, everyone! On your marks…get set…go!" And with that, the race had begun.

    As the campers left, Latias turned around and looked toward the camp, "Alright, now to find Latios and make some calls."


    On the beach path, Doduo had taken the lead, though Absol and Zoroark weren't far behind. Bisharp had passed Deerling and Blitzle who were going at the same pace with Zangoose and Gardevoir behind them. Spiritomb had been using Psychic to help him move, while Aron and Espeon weren't far behind him. Bringing up the rear were Numel and Persian. Numel, despite being awake, was going at an extremely slow pace and Persian was more worried about what the sand was doing to her fur than trying to win the challenge.
    One of Doduo's heads looked back. They were gaining distance from the second and third place Pokemon, "Awesome! No one can catch up to us! We're going to win!" shouted the first head.

    "Yeah, I know, that's the third time you've said that." deadpanned the other.

    "Well I like the fact that we are ahead, can't you be a little more positive?" asked the first head as it turned around.

    The other head scoffed and turned to face the other, "I knew that we were first when this whole thing started, so there's no point in saying the obvious right?"

    "Yeah but-"

    "Don't give me any buts, just-" Doduo was cut off as he tripped over a rock.

    The two heads rolled around in the sand for a minute before coming to a halt.

    They got up, spitting some sand out of their mouth. Then they realized their necks were tied in a knot.

    "What the crap." The heads said at the same time.


    “THIS is why I hate being stuck with this guy.” one of the heads said as he gestured to the other

    “HE always gets us into situations like these.” remarked the other.

    “YOU were the one that got our necks tied into a balloon animal.”

    “Hey that was YOUR fault for wanting to see the Mr. Mime at the carnival.”


    “Oh the irony.” remarked Zangoose as she laughed.


    In the forest, everyone seemed to be neck and neck. Spinarak was using her web shot out of her mouth to swing from branch to branch, with Joltik doing something similar next to her. Shuckle was using the same web strings to swing behind them. Lucario was jumping from tree to tree, Roserade followed him from underneath. Sawk was close by, but he kept getting dead branches and rocks stuck in his feet since Magmar, who was in front of him, kept burning everything nearby with her tail. Serperior was slithering left and right through the bushes, though he wasn't on the main path. While he was going through the bushes, he noticed a couple of sharp objects.

    “Wow, already? Jeez.” he muttered to himself, looking back.

    It probably would have been better if he was looking forward; in front of him was a pitfall trap.

    He fell with a loud thud onto the bottom of the pit, causing everyone else on the track to look to the source.

    Spinarak looked into the hole from a branch, “You okay?”

    “Ow…pain…” Serperior replied from the bottom.

    “How did this happen?” Roserade asked.

    “Traps…in area…one in the bushes…behind me…”

    Magmar used Flamethrower on the bushes and sure enough, there was an arrow trap.

    “Probably…more…ahead…ow…I can’t see…” Serperior’s voice echoed.

    “I’ll get him out.” Sawk volunteered. As soon as he took a step, he activated a tripwire. All of a sudden, a large log came flying toward him.

    Lucario moved quickly. He dashed in front of the log and with a punch, shattered it.


    “I could have done that.” Sawk scoffed.


    “Wow, the way he responded to that, it was, astonishing, to say the least.” Roserade admired. “I would have never acted like that way. He seemed heroic, so dashing and handsome-I mean cool, he looked cool when he did that. Yeah…”


    Meanwhile, there was chaos out on the water.

    "What's with these currents? They're all over the place!" Feebas cried out.

    "Whirlpool dead ahead!" Kingrda shouted.

    "Watch out for the geysers!" Lampent cried.

    "Grahahaha, reminds me of home!" Cloyster laughed.

    Everyone looked at Cloyster with a strange look on their face.


    Chinchou flashed a couple of lights and made a crazy hand symbol.


    “I got a couple of college friends to help me out with today's challenge.” Latias explained, “I called up Manaphy to help out with the sea route traps. Celebi helped for the later part of the forest path. I knew that the campers would find the shabby traps Latios made. I wanted to call Groudon to help out with the beach but he was out fighting with Kyogre at Sootopolis again. Figures.”


    The Pokemon running heard some of the shouts coming from the Pokemon in the water. They hadn’t encountered any traps yet but knew they were coming. The positions of each Pokemon hadn't changed much. Only the distance between Doduo, Absol and Zoroark had shortened a bit after the twin bird Pokemon had taken their tumble.

    "They're catching up!" shouted one head.

    "I know that, do we have to have another talk about this and tumble into the sand again?" retorted the other.

    "Yeah but I'm just telling you so that you can put an extra burst of speed!" the first head returned.

    “Wait a sec, this is a joint effort! You help out too!”

    The heads continued to argue, not realizing they were nearing the area that the sea route Pokemon had encountered their traps.

    Soon, Absol felt something. He went into a full sprint, passing Doduo. He began to run left and right, as if he was avoiding something.

    Doduo's heads looked shocked as they saw their teammate pass them, "What's up with him?" asked one head.

    The question was answered by a loud "BOOM" as they were sent flying into the air by an explosion.


    “It’s all your fault that we ran into that!” screamed one head.

    “What are you talking about?” shouted the other, “If you had paid attention to where Absol was running, maybe we wouldn’t have hit a mine!”


    Most of the Pokemon running on the beach stared in surprise after seeing the large blast sent the armless Pokemon flying. The heads only muttered an "ow" as they hit the ground, as the other Pokemon passed them, save a few all the way in the back.

    The only Pokemon that was moving quickly was Absol, everyone else was trying to avoid the explosions. Some Pokemon got hit by the blasts, though usually only the sand got caught in their eyes or fur.


    “I am able to detect any change in the ground and in the sky; hence, I was able to predict when and where the explosions would occur.” Absol explained, “I'm not proud of it though, everyone else gets the wrong idea when I appear.”


    "Kind of odd for me to say this." Spiritomb said, "But that sand was doing wonders for my rock. I haven't seen it this smooth since forever."


    Numel had just entered the mine-filled beach. Unluckily, he was sent flying far away by an extremely large blast. However, he didn't even realize he was in the air until a minute later. Even then, he was expressionless.


    Numel looked lazily at the camera, saying nothing.


    Latias was observing a monitor which displayed the three paths. Latios was nearby under blankets and holding a mug of Aspear berry tea in his hands, shivering. After finding him frozen in the kitchen, Latias quickly defrosted him and warmed him up.

    "How many explosives did you bury there?" asked Latios, indicating where Numel had blasted off from.

    "The directions said 20 kilograms of explosives." Latias answered.
    "Oh." Latios said. 5 seconds later he did a double take, "20 KILOGRAMS? The directions said 20 GRAMS!"

    Latias's eyes widened, "Oops." she said.

    Latios face-palmed at his sister's clumsiness, "Great, just great, there goes a fifth of our explosives budget.” He sighed, “Where is Numel now?"

    A nearby noise caught their attention. They looked toward the beach to see small, stubby legs flailing around in the sand. Latias grabbed one of the legs and pulled out Numel. She looked at her brother, "Does that answer your question?" she asked.

    She looked at Numel who was shaking off some sand, "Well Numel, since you're the first one back, you get to pick a card."

    "He didn't run around the entire island." Latios objected.

    "Yeah but he moves so slowly it would take a day for him to get back here, might as well speed things up." Latias replied

    Latias held out the box and Numel stuck his head in. He came out with a piece of paper in his mouth.

    "Don't lose it; you'll need it later on." Latias said. And with that she went back to observing the other campers. From what she saw, the group in the forest was still going strong. However, they were nearing Celebi's area.


    “Okay, what the hell is going on?” shouted Roserade as she ran.

    “I don’t know! Just run, or my case, swing!” shouted Joltik as he swung from tree to tree.

    Large thorny vines were chasing those in the forest. No one knew where they came from, they just knew that they had to run away.

    Magmar briefly turned around and used Flamethrower on the vines. The vines moved out of the way of the flames, causing Magmar to silently curse and continue running.

    Shuckle suddenly slipped from the trees and fell onto the ground below. Seeing the vines she ducked into her shell. One of the vines grabbed her and threw her out of the forest, right in front of Latios in Latios.


    "I would say that was fun," Shuckle said, "but I'm not sure if getting picked up and thrown by vines constitutes as fun."


    One by one, the rest of the Pokemon taking the forest path ran out. Lucario took the lead with Roserade close behind. Joltik and Spinarak swung out with Serperior beneath them. Magmar and Sawk ran out last. They reached where Latios and Latias were and saw Numel sleeping on the ground.

    "Guess Worry Seed wore off. But how did he get here so quickly?" asked Serperior.

    Latias directed their attention toward the monitor. It replayed the moment where Numel was sent flying.

    "Guess that explains it." Sawk said.

    "Welcome back everyone." Latias greeted. "Please pick a card out of that box and make sure you don't lose it."

    Each of the Pokemon picked out a card from the box and waited to see who would arrive next.

    Absol was the next to arrive; he didn't have any sand on him except for his paws.

    "Wow, Absol, you've made it back pretty quickly." Latias said. She then looked behind him. "Where's everyone else?"

    "It's going to take them a while." he responded. "They're busy avoiding the sand blasts."

    "Alright. Anyways, take a card and wait for everyone to show up." Latias directed Absol to the box and he pulled out a card. He then walked away from everyone else and laid down on the beach.

    "What's with him?" asked Roserade. "He always distances himself from everyone."

    "I'll go over there." Joltik said.

    "No." Lucario said. "Leave him, he distanced himself from us for a reason. I don't know what, but there is one and we should respect his wishes."


    Meanwhile, Pokemon in the water were swimming around frantically and Pokemon in the air where flying left and right.

    "Left! Right! Right! Left!" Klink's gears were shouting in unison while dodging the water spouts.


    “Now how do they have such good coordination?” asked one of heads.

    “I choose to, and forever will, blame you.” the other head answered.


    Kingdra fought the currents while Cloyster let the currents and whirlpools take their course, which worked oddly enough. Feebas and Chinchou however, were having a harder time as they were smaller Pokemon and didn't have as much strength. Stunfisk was on the ocean floor so he wasn't affected too much.

    In the air, some of the smaller Pokemon were having an easier time flying around such as Rotom and Klink, while the larger flyers like Altaria and Cryogonal were having a harder time.

    On the beach route, Doduo was in a tough spot; they had fallen into last place. They kept getting hit by every sand blast on the course.

    "Go left, I mean right! Now right, I mean left!"

    "Make up your mind!"

    "BOOM!" and Doduo was sent flying again.


    Meanwhile at the starting point, Zoroark, Bisharp and Zangoose had already arrived and were watching as Gardevoir, Aron, Spiritomb and Espeon come over.

    They all grabbed a card and went to wait by the other contestants. Espeon, however saw Absol by himself and decided to walk over to where he was.

    Absol heard her walk over and turned his head to look at her, "What do you want?" he grunted.

    "I just wanted know if I could lay down next to you." she answered.
    Absol let out a grunt and went back to his original position as Espeon rested down next to him.


    “His lone wolf behavior worries me, by making himself distant, he's basically asking his teammates to vote him off.” Espeon explained, “He needs to open up, and I’ll help him do so.”


    Meanwhile, the Pokemon that were taking the water route were just starting to arrive. Magneton arrived first as he used his magnets to pull himself toward anything metal, namely Aron. Altaria and Sigilyph weren't far behind while Kingdra jumped out of the water and onto the beach. Stunfisk flopped onto the beach next with Klink right above him. Deerling and Blitzle arrived soon after. As the two neared the other campers, Cloyster's shell landed right in front of them with a large thud, causing Deerling to nearly faint. Feebas and Chinchou bounced out of the water while Cryogonal, Lampent and Rotom floated above them. Latios glared at Rotom, still angry at what happened earlier that morning. Persian arrived a while later, still walking, and with a bunch of sand on her. She shook the sand off herself before going to grab a card though she wanted to take a shower but her request was denied.


    Meanwhile, Doduo was panting, "Where the hell is the camp? I'm getting tired."

    "It would have helped if your directions didn't suck!"

    "It's hard when our necks are tied up like this!"

    "BOOM!" and Doduo was sent flying once again. They landed hard on the sand, in front of everyone else on the island.

    "Well, seems like the last person has arrived." Latias said. "Doduo, please take a card." Holding out the box, one of Doduo's heads weakly pulled out a card.

    "Okay, now that all of you have your cards, take a look. There should be a number on there."

    All of the campers looked at their card.

    "Now, remember what place you got in the race? If the place you got was smaller than or equal to the number on your card, stand by me, if your place was higher than the number on the card, please stand by Latios." Latias said.

    Everyone moved to stand by one of the Eon Pokemon.

    "Okay, now that you're in place, those of you standing by Latios, you guys split yourselves into your teams. The team with more people standing by Latios loses today's challenge." Some eyes widened. "Now, how many people are on each team?" Latias asked.

    Only one Pokemon was standing by Latios: Doduo.

    Latias blinked a couple times and looked at all the Pokemon standing by her, "Well, I guess the Lugias win again! Ho-Ohs, I'll see you at elimination once again. Lugias, today, you guys get a reward! A hot tub!" The Lugias cheered in response while the Ho-Ohs gaped and began to glare at Doduo.


    Spiritomb chuckled, “Actually, Doduo had the card with 18 on it and I had the card with 1 on it. I didn't know what everyone else had. However I saw Doduo's when he pulled his out. So, I decided to use Trick and swapped my card with his. I would've swapped my card with one from the other team but I didn't know what any of them had. I didn't want to accidentally jeopardize myself so I went with a safe option. Seems likes it worked as planned anyway.”


    After the campers had left Latias used telekinesis to talk to the two Pokemon that helped her out in the challenge, "Celebi, Manaphy, your work is done. Thanks for your help today."

    Manaphy replied first, "No problem, I've got plenty of time on my hands, call me if you ever need help again."

    "It was fun doing this, I need a break traveling through time ever now and then." Celebi said. "By the way, have you seen Mew lately?"

    "No, why?" Latias said.

    "Nothing, it's just that he seems to be avoiding me. If you ever see him, mind telling him that me and him need to talk?"


    And with that, the two other legendaries left.


    After the challenge, Zoroark was walking to the beach by the dock. He saw Lucario and Kingdra waiting over there as well.

    He approached them, "Bisharp ask you to come as well?"

    Both of them nodded, "What I find vexing, is that our host has yet to appear." Kingdra said.

    "I see you all have arrived." Bisharp said as he appeared from under the dock.

    The other three turned to face him. Zoroark spoke, "We're here, what do you want?"

    Bisharp sat down on a rock, "Nothing, just a proposition. I want you three to work with me."

    Lucario's eyes narrowed, "Are you asking for an alliance?"

    Bisharp shook his head, "Not an alliance per se, think of it as a war council."

    "War council?" asked Kingdra.

    "Yes, a war council." Bisharp answered. "We will basically meet after every challenge and discuss future plans; who to vote off, strategy, how to beat the other team, etc."

    "Why?" asked Zoroark suspiciously.

    "Like all of you, I want to get far in this competition, but I must admit I'll need a little help. So I sought out some of the stronger members of our team. You three." Bisharp said as he pointed to the Pokemon in front of him.

    "Each of us has a special trait." he continued. "Kingdra, you have the brains, Zoroark, you’re the stealth, Lucario, you have the strength and I have the power to lead. Combining our abilities, we can make it to at least the halfway point, where I plan to dissolve this group. Do you guys accept?"

    The other three Pokemon looked at each other, then Zoroark asked a question, "What if we don't accept or want out on this deal midway?"

    Bisharp looked at him, "That's fine, I can understand if you're unsure about this or if you have doubts. I won't stop you from if you do reject my offer or leave, though I do hope you consider my proposition. Now, will you join me?"

    Zoroark, closed his eyes and thought hard. When he opened them, he was sure of his decision. "I'm in." he said.

    "Same here." Lucario said.

    "Hope there's room for a third." said Kingrda.

    Bisharp smiled, "Good, I see you're all on board. Now for one of my ideas."

    Bisharp took out a magnetic chess set and set it up. "Here's what I see with both of the teams, we are basically two sides of a chess board." he pointed to the white pieces. "This is our team." he pointed to the black pieces. "That's the other team. I've assigned different pieces to different campers, though it isn't complete."

    He moved his hand to the white pieces side and pointed to the king. "I'll be the king, which shows leadership."

    He pointed to a bishop, "Kingrda, you'll be a bishop."

    "Lucario, you're a rook." Bisharp said as he pointed to the piece.

    He then put his hand on the knight, "Zoroark, you're a knight."

    "And the other pieces?" asked Lucario

    Bisharp sighed, "Not quite sure yet, I need more information before I make my decisions."

    He then pointed to the black pieces, "Our goal here is to have the other team lose its king, which would cause the other team to crumble and fall apart. It won't be that easy, since the king is the leader, they have influence over who to vote for. We have to find a way to make their king screw up so that they get voted off."

    Bisharp continued, "Now, they," pointing to the black pieces, "have already lost a piece, which I assume is a pawn." Bisharp then removed a black pawn from the board. "With tonight's vote, I assume they'll vote off another pawn again." and he removed another pawn from the board. "So far, they've only lost two of their pawns, we need them to lose some of the more valuable and stronger pieces if we want to get to their king. All of you understand what I'm saying?"

    The three other Pokemon nodded their heads.

    "Okay." Bisharp said as he returned to the board, "Now, one of each team's pawns can become a queen. We need to find that pawn on their team so that they get voted off before they become a queen. For us, we need to make sure that pawn stays and can be used to the fullest. Also, on each team, there's something I like to call a wild card."

    "Wild card?" asked Zoroark.

    Bisharp nodded, "Yes, on each team there will be someone who will show exceptional ability in some situations. That team member will be the wild card. For now though, we want to focus on the other pieces and find out who they are." he put the chess set away. "Any questions?" he was met with silence. "Okay, we'll meet here after the next challenge, do your best and try to find information about the other team and ours as well."
    And with that, the four Pokemon went their separate ways.


    That night, all 16 members of the Ho-Ohs were sitting at the campfire pit for elimination. Doduo was tense and its necks were still stuck in a knot. Spiritomb and his alliance members were smirking while everyone else seemed to be giving someone on their team glares.

    Laitas and Latios floated over, "Alright, you guys were here last week so you know the drill. If I call your name, come up and get a poffin. If you don't get a poffin, you're out of the game. Absol, come up and get your poffin."

    Absol went to Latios and got a red poffin.

    "Feebas, Chinchou, Aron, you three are safe." the three Pokemon went to Latios and got blue poffins.

    "Persian, Sawk and Serperior, you three are also safe tonight." they relaxed as they went up and got their poffins.

    "Deerling, Zangoose, Numel and Spiritomb, you guys get to stay." bow, only 5 Pokemon were left.

    "Doduo and Cloyster," the two Pokemon stood up expecting that they were safe. "I'm sorry but you two are the bottom two tonight. Please sit back down." Latias said. The two Pokemon did as they were told, though they were a bit crestfallen. "That means Altaria, Magneton and Cryogonal are safe. You can come get your poffins."

    The three Pokemon let out sighs of relief as they went to get their poffins. Latias looked at the two Pokemon left. "Doduo and Cloyster, one of you will be getting the ax tonight. Will it be our Psycho-shellfish or our twin-headed flightless bird?"

    "Just give it to Cloyster already!" Zangoose shouted.

    Latias glared at her before sighing, "Fine, Cloyster come up, you're safe. Doduo, I'm sorry but you'll be leaving the island."

    Cloyster bounced off his seat and while Doduo's heads began to fight again.

    "It's all your fault that we got voted off!"

    "My fault? The challenge was luck based! How is it my fault?"

    "If your directions didn't screw us up, we may have come in earlier and gotten a better number!"

    "Quit blaming me, it's also you're fault!"

    "Now you're just being ridiculous!"

    "I am not!"

    "Yeah you are!"

    The heads began fight once again.

    "I'll go get their belongings." Sawk volunteered.

    When Doduo's heads stopped fighting their necks weren't in a knot, it was tied into a bowtie.

    The heads looked at each other, then at their necks.


    “Hahahahahahaha!” Zangoose laughed, falling off the seat


    “Grah ha ha ha ha ha ha!” Spiritomb roared in laughter


    “Pffft, okay, I can’t keep a straight face.” Serperior said as he began to laugh. “Ahahahahahaha!”


    “BZZT. ACTIVATING HUMOR RESPONSE SEQUENCE. Ha ha ha ha ha. BZZT.” Megneton beeped.


    Absol looked at the camera apathetically. Slowly, he cracked a smile.


    “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…” Numel snored


    Doduo walked the dock with its necks still in a bowtie while their team waved them off, though some of them had to stifle a laugh.

    “Do we have anything we want to say before we leave?” one of Doduo’s heads asked.

    “Besides the fact that I don't like you? No.” replied the other.

    “I could say the same to you.” the first head retorted.


    Once Doduo left, the Ho-Ohs left the campfire pit, Cloyster however motioned Persian over.

    "What do you want?" she asked.

    "I be having a deal for you." Cloyster said.

    "Huh? What's your problem?" she looked at him with a queer eye
    "Problem? I have no problems. I'm as problemless as a virus free computer with a firewall and high maintenance antivirus system." Cloyster answered.

    Persian stared, "Just tell me what you want, I have to go groom myself."

    "Me and some friends have formed an alliance within our team to vaporize the competition see, and we want you to join our alliance."

    "Tempting offer, what if one of us wins?"

    "We split the prize between us."

    Persian thought about the Cloyster's proposition, "Fine, but on one condition."

    "What is it you ask for?"

    "If I win, I get all the prize money and you guys get the treats."

    Cloyster frowned, he hadn't expected this, "Wait for me, I will return." he said as he bounced off.

    He found Spiritomb and Cryogonal in a clearing, "So, did she accept?" asked Spiritomb.

    "On one condition. The lady says that if she wins, she gets the money and we split the treats between us." Cloyster said.

    Spiritomb frowned, he didn't like the offer but he needed to increase his numbers. He then thought of an idea, "Tell her that's fine."

    Cryogonal objected, "But what if she actually does win?"

    "We won't let her." Spiritomb calmly said with a smile. “She’ll be our scapegoat when the time comes. Throwing her under the bus will be a cinch.”

    Cloyster smirked, "Me likey. Alright, I'll go tell her that we accept her offer." he bounced away.

    Cloyster was grinning as he returned to where he had left Persian, "Welcome to the alliance."

    Next Time: When a now-homeless Pokemon shows up at the camp, how can the campers say no to helping him? A team finds themselves severely disadvantaged during the challenge and barely makes up. Someone has a severe mood shift, another makes a deal with their team, and two stumble upon a secret in their team.

    Some parts of the story were edited and adjusted a little bit. A couple confessionals were added, changed or removed. However, the forest section of the race got a complete overhaul compared to the original. The new version is more entertaining in my opinion.

    Again, reviews, feedback and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.
        Spoiler:- Want my Friend Code?:

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    London, England


    it is interesting you expanded your work here as well, nothing much to say. As of now you could be my rival, but I appreciate that.

    I say that I'm already looking forward to the next chapter.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    In a cave. With a Sneasel :)


    These are good. Noticed some errors, but overall, ok.
    I'd like to be added to the PM list please (if you have one :P)

    R.I.P The Crystalline Guard ~ Memories Are The Only Things Which Are Truly Eternal

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Your webcam. Say hi!


    I would also like to be added to the PM list Heaper.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    SE asia, Phiippines.


    Review for chapter 1

    Very hilarious in the last two. Numel ... the sleeping beauty wins. Priceless. I imagine pineco speaking Sottish like Herdier in PMD Gates to Infinity.

    Am I smelling a Rivalry between Lampent and Rotom, and Persian and Espeon (show off according to persian)? It'll be sweet.

    I don't know about Bisharp. I smell an Ezio Auditore in Him.

    PM me if you can. Personally, I find you better in creating humor and comedy than I do. Trust me. I badly need help in my work on making one of my characters funny
    Last edited by jireh the provider; 4th May 2013 at 5:21 AM.

    Please keep my young partners in company.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2011


    Episode 4: Extreme Makeover: Pokemon Home Edition

    "RING! RING! PHONE CALL FOR YOU! PHONE CALL FOR YOU!" Latias's cellphone rang, waking her up from a nice and peaceful dream.

    She rubbed her eyes and picked up the phone, "Who the *CENSORED* is this? It's four *CENSORED* AM in the morning! What do you *CENSORED AGAIN* want?"

    She listened for a moment, "Oh, it's you. Listen, don't call me this early, I get irritable if I don't get enough sleep. What time is it over there?" She waited. "Wow, really? Time difference is that much? Damn. Anyways, what the hell do you want?... I see, well that sucks for you. What do you want me to *CENSORED* do?...And if I refuse?...You wouldn't *CENSORED* dare…Dammit…Fine, I'll do it. Now let me get my *CENSORED* sleep!" she turned off her phone and slammed it back on her bedside table.

    Latias flopped onto her bed tired and irritated. Problem was, she couldn't fall back asleep for the rest of the night.


    That morning, the campers woke up refreshed and energized. Doduo's elimination had helped everyone get enough sleep the past couple days. The hot tub was open to everyone since it the Lugias decided it would be better if everyone enjoyed it. Zoroark decided to hop in and was joined by Gardevoir, Stunfisk, Sawk, Feebas and Serperior.

    "So, how's your team?" asked Zororak.

    "Pretty good." answered Serperior. "I think some of the more useless members got voted off. We'll be taking this one by storm." Serperior said confidently.


    Zoroark: Ever since I entered Bisharp's war council, I feel that I have a chance at winning this. And I can really use that money. Why? I won't disclose my reasons yet.


    "Least you have a positive outlook." Gardevoir chimed in

    "But that can't be said about everyone else on your team." Stunfisk cut in, pointing to a lone Pokemon.

    Absol was distancing himself from the rest of the campers, laying down in the shade of a tree.

    Sawk shook his head, "We've tried to talk to him but he keeps ignoring us, it's actually kind of insulting."

    "He's probably a good person, maybe he's just hiding it." Feebas added.

    They then saw Espeon walk over to Absol.

    "Why don't you ever hang out with everyone else?" she asked him.

    He looked at her then turned away.

    "Hey, don't ignore me!" she said.

    "Then why do you keep talking to me?" he asked.

    "Because, I want to learn more about the other people here."

    "Then go learn about someone else."

    "But I want to learn more about you." Espeon said.

    Absol let out a snort, "Learn about me? Hah, you're better off not knowing."

    The two continued to converse as the Pokemon in the hot tub watched.

    "Least someone is trying to reach out to him." Gardevoir said.


    Feebas: I don't have anything against the guy, and I don't think anyone else on our team does either. It's just his behavior that's rubbing us the wrong way.


    "POP!" Everyone turned to look at where the noise was coming from. Seeing smoke coming from the mess hall, everyone frantically ran toward it to see what happened. They approached the door and Roserade tried to open it.

    "No good! It's locked!" She shouted

    "Step aside!" Magmar yelled

    She shot a jet of flame burning the door and kicked it down. Smoke wafted out of the doorway.

    "I'll take care of this." Sigilyph said. He stared into the room.

    "Uh dude, you okay there?" Blitzle asked after a couple seconds.

    Sigilyph blinked, "Oh, sorry, spaced out for a minute. What was I doing again?"

    The campers groaned, "You were supposed to get rid of the smoke!" Roserade shouted.

    "Oh, right!" He quickly flapped his wings which blew away the smoke. The campers saw Latios on the floor coughing. Bisharp and Zoroark went over to support him.

    "What happened?" asked Joltik who was scrambling around on Cryogonal, much to his annoyance.

    "Get off of me!" he shouted, causing Joltik to latch onto Klink.

    Latios looked at the campers, "Someone stuck a couple loafs of bread in the oven and left it on the highest temperature. They also put a bunch of eggs in a pot and left it on the stove. All of them exploded creating that loud popping noise."

    "D-do you know who did it?" asked Deerling.

    "No, but I have an idea." His mouth turned into a scowl. "Rotom! Where are you?" he shouted.

    "Over here." Rotom said as floated over. "You rang?"

    "I know you did this, just like like last time when you froze me." Latios growled.

    Rotom shook his head, "Sorry to burst your bubble but I wasn't anywhere near here this morning."

    "It's true." Aron added. "I was talking to him for way before we came here. We came over when we heard the explosion. Got any metal by the way?"

    The campers began to talk amongst themselves, discussing and theorizing who could have done it. Rotom then looked around and saw someone leave the kitchen. His eyes widened when he realized who it was.


    Rotom: *Smiling* No. Way.


    "I see you guys are all having fun."

    Everyone turned around to see Latias at the doorway.She had bags under her eyes, her arms were folded, and had a scowl on her face. Overall, she seemed irritated.

    "Follow me, you guys have a challenge today. Latios, I need you to do something. Now get moving. We're burning daylight." Latias said curtly

    She left and everyone in the mess hall looked at each other. "Anyone think that our friendly host seems different in any way?" Asked Bisharp.

    Latios groaned, they had no idea.


    Latios: You've officially seen my sister snap and it's only going to get worse from here. Arceus have mercy.


    Lucario: I sense a disturbing change in our host...


    Klink: We dislike new Latias...

    Joltik: Old Joltik agrees.


    A while later, the campers arrived panting at a large open desert. There was a pile of stones of various sizes nearby.

    "How...the heck...does this island...have a desert?" Roserade gasped.

    "I'm perfectly fine with this." Stunfisk deadpanned. "Though I wish it wasn't so hot."

    "Sucks to be you shrimp." Magmar mocked, the heat.

    Meanwhile Latias and Latios still looked as cool as cucumbers, considering the fact they were eating shaved ice as they floated there.

    "Why don't we get any of that?" asked Spinarak.

    "Because, we're the hosts and you guys are just here to listen to our orders." Latias said as she finished her shaved ice. She threw away the cup and cleaned her hands, "I would tell you about today's challenge, but we have a special guest for today. Latios, if you would kindly."

    Latios nodded and he faced the open desert. "In the red corner, weighing 507 pounds, hammering foes with his arms of stone, Regi 'The Mountain' ROCK!"

    As he finished, a large mountain of sand erupted, scaring the living daylights out of Deerling who would have fainted had Blitzle not caught her.

    As the sand cleared, a large Pokemon made out of rocks emerged, and slightly angry.

    "How many times do I have to tell you that was a one-time thing!" he shouted at Latios.

    Latios snickered, "It was hilarious Regi, what could I say? One of my best friends in college getting beat by Cobalion, the oldest guy on campus, who you couldn't do a thing against!"

    "Well he had a type advantage. I couldn't do a thing! And stop calling me by my nickname!" Regirock shouted back.

    Latios shrugged, "Of course, blaming it on the ol' 'type advantage'. You really need to find better excuses."

    "Ahem." Latias said with her arms crossed. "Can we get back to the task on hand? Regi, I'm still angry at you waking me up today."

    He groaned, "Are you still angry? I told you it was important."

    "Not as important as me losing my beauty sleep."

    "Um, can we learn what our challenge is?" asked Shuckle, scared of the angry Latias.

    Latias turned toward the campers, "Fine, you guys are impatient. Our friend here Regirock lives in the Desert Ruins in Hoenn, known for its sandstorms. Since his house is constantly battered by sand, it has eroded away and now he has no home. In today's challenge, each team is building our rocky 'friend' a new home. There are criteria however. One, there can only be two rooms. Two, there has to be some kind of gimmick or requirement in order to get into the second room.In order to make this hard, if you collapse, unable to help continue to build, or decide to drop out for whatever reason, you'll be sent back to the campgrounds where you'll be allowed to rest and cool off. However, if you do drop out, you are not allowed to come back and help work on your team's temple. You have as long as you want to work on the temple. If you're here in the desert, the only thing you can do is work. You are also not allowed to interfere with the other team's work. When your team is finished, report to us. Once both teams are finished, Regirock here will decide which house he'll live in. The winning team will get immunity for the night. Any questions?"

    Joltik, now on Bisharp, had a question, "What if everyone on a team drops out?"

    "Then your team is considered done." Latias answered. "Now that all questions have been answered, get to work!" and with that all the Pokemon scrambled off.

    Latias turned to the two other legendaries, "Did you get out the chairs?"

    Latios smiled, "Already took care of that." He pointed to a couple of beach chairs with sunglasses on them.

    "Let's sit back and watch."


    "Does anyone have any idea on how we're going to build this thing?" asked Zangoose.

    No one said anything. Then Cloyster piped up.

    "I be thinking we should start with a diamond base then build a large second story on top." Everyone on the team nodded, approving the idea so far.

    "And then, we shall make it invisible! Our victory will be assured like an anvil that drops on the heads of people in an old cartoon!"

    Everyone's smiles disappeared.

    Zangoose groaned, "Ignoring our illogical teammate-."

    "Illogic? There's no such thing as illogic, there's only logic and nonsensical logic." Cloyster interrupted.

    Zangoose glared at him, then continued speaking, "Anyone else have any brilliant ideas?"


    Persian: I'm now a little worried that I joined that alliance, it could prove troublesome, especially with him in it. I'll give you all in TV land three guesses, and I'm not talking about the snowflake or the vortex.


    Cloyster: I can has praise for idea?

    Zangoose: *outside* NO!


    "Anyone here have experience with buildings?" Bisharp asked.

    Zoroark raised his hand, "I've done a couple of construction jobs and seen many blueprints so I have a good idea of what we should look for."

    Bisharp nodded, "Okay, now for the gimmick, can anyone think of something?"

    "I'll do it." Garedvoir said. "I have a couple ideas in mind."

    "Good, everyone else, gather materials and try to outlast the other team. Let's go, Lugias for the win!" Bisharp shouted, and the team dispersed.


    Latias, Latios and Regirock were watching from the sides as each team went to work.

    "Who do you think is going to win this time?" Latios asked his sister.

    "Lugias, they've won the last two, what's stopping them for a third?" she answered. "Though I still don't like some of them, they tick me off a bit."

    "Speaking of ticked off," Regirock mentioned, "My brother is still mad at you." he said to Latias

    "Who? Registeel? Please, every time we hugged, he'd crush my lungs!"

    Latios chuckled while he sipped his drink. Regirock looked at him, "Hey, you're not off the hook either, Regice is still out for blood." Latios immediately did a spit-take.

    "See? You shouldn't be talking." Latias said smugly.

    "Oh be quiet, at least I kissed her, unlike you and Registeel." Latios responded furiously.

    "And what happened afterward?" Latias said, an evil gleam in her eye.

    Latios's face turned a beet red and he looked away, "My tongue was stuck on her for a week." he said in a low voice.

    Latias burst out laughing, "See? Bad idea on your part. Didn't mom tell you not to stick your tongue on a cold surface?"

    Latios crossed his arms and grunted in response.


    Latios: I thought my tongue would freeze and fall off during that whole week! I didn't come off until Phione finally decided to spray water on it! It wasn't funny!

    Latias: *outside* Yes it was!

    Latios: Shut up!


    On the Lugia's side, Gardevoir and Zoroark were discussing on what to do about their team's temple.

    "For the gimmick I was thinking something along the lines of a secret passageway." Gardevoir suggested.

    Zoroark shook his head, "No, that's too easy and it wouldn't work with what I was thinking for the temple layout."

    "What's your plan? Gardevoir asked.

    "Let's try a simple large stone base with a solid slab on top. Then, we build an underground stairway to a chamber where Regirock will be. The stairway will be covered by a statue of Regirock."

    "Fine, but what's our gimmick?" Gardevoir asked.

    "I leave that to you." Zoroark said as he smiled. "We need to make the actual building before making the gimmick. Here's an idea though, use the statue that is placed over the passageway. Don't fret too hard about it okay?" he gave Gardevoir a reassuring pat on the shoulder as he left with his blueprint.

    Zoroark called everyone else over, "Okay, I got the basic design for what we are going to do…"


    "Everyone understand what we're doing?" Spiritomb asked. The team nodded. "Alright, time to work. We need to win this challenge. Let's give a 110%!"

    The Lugia's temple was going to look like a pyramid and Regirock's chamber would be at the bottom. There would be stairs going up and down. The bottom stairs would be blocked by sand. The only way for it to be cleared was by pressing a switch on the wall of the staircase going up. It would lift the pyramid out of the ground thereby removing the sand and allowing use of the stairs going down leading to Regirock. Serperior had given out specific roles for the team; Deerling, Persian, Numel, Feebas, and Chinchou would get materials; Magneton and Cloyster would figure out how to create their team's gimmick; Sawk, Aron, Absol and Zangoose would work on the interior while Spiritomb, Cryogonal, Altaria and Serperior would work on the outside.

    Everything was running smoothly, until 3 hours into the challenge when some of the Lugias began to drop out. Chinchou and Feebas were drying up due to the heat. Persian complained about the heat and how she didn't have any strength after pulling only two stones. Cryogonal on the other hand had begun to evaporate and decided to get out of the area pronto.


    Comparatively, the Lugias weren't having too much of a problem, only Kingdra had dropped out due to the heat. Zoroark was supervising the building and directing everyone on what to do; Magmar was their ran around carrying materials no sweat, while Blitzle made quick trips due to his speed; Joltik and Spinarak were using web strings to bring rocks to the top where Shuckle, Sigilyph, Rotom and Lampent would place them; Klink was working on the Regirock statues, using the teeth of its gears to carve the stone; Stunfisk dug out the sand for the underground passageway while Espeon, Bisharp and Roserade put in the steps and walls.

    Meanwhile, Gardevoir was still trying to figure out a good gimmick for their team. Zoroark noticed her frustration and walked over.

    "What's wrong?" he asked.

    She was frowning, "I just can't come up a good way to open up the passage, even with your tip." Gardevoir sighed as she crumpled up the paper she was using and added it onto a growing pile.

    Zoroark's unfolded a paper and looked. They were elaborate, well detailed mechanisms that would have made other architects' jaw drop in amazement. He took a couple more, they were like the first one, all fleshed out and detailed.

    He looked at Gardevoir, "How could you not be satisfied with these, they're brilliant!" he exclaimed.

    Gardevoir smiled, "Thanks, but look again. You'll see what's wrong with them."

    He looked at the one in his hand and realized the problem; they were too elaborate. He doubted that they had the tools on hand to create the puzzles in the drawings

    Zoroark sighed, "Let me help you out here…"


    Gardevoir: Zoroark really helped me out there. I wouldn't have been able to finish without him. He also helped calm me down a lot.


    At the 5 hour mark, the Ho-Ohs were having a problem; due to their lack of team members, they had to continuously switch their jobs.The heat was also bogging them down considerably.

    Magneton and Cloyster had finished working on the gimmick so they were free to do other work. Even with their help, progress was still slow. Numel was working slowly; Altaria was getting tired having to constantly flap her wings; Sawk was starting to drag his heels. Deerling soon collapsed, saying that she was too tired to move and Cloyster shut himself inside his shell saying making analogies with Wurmples, food, and sleeping pills.


    Zangoose: …This challenge sucked for us.


    On the Lugia's side, Zoroark and Gardevoir had finally figured out a gimmick, they were going to put four statues inside their temple, one on each corner. In order for the Regirock statue in the middle to become moveable, each statue had to be turned so they faced the center. Meanwhile, most of the team was working on the top of their structure. Joltik was having a hard time pulling up a large block of stone. Spinarak noticed this and crawled over.

    "You need some help with that?" she asked.

    "Yeah, it's a bit heavy." he answered.

    Spinarak shot out some web which stuck onto the stone block. "We pull on three okay?" she asked. Joltik nodded. "Okay, one...two… three!"

    They pulled it up and it flew over their heads, hitting Shuckle.

    "Woah, woah, ACK!" she shouted as she fell backwards. She ducked in her shell which rolled down the side of the rocky structure.

    Spinarak and Joltik heard this and looked up, just in time for Shuckle's shell to hit them, seinding them flying off the team's structure and into the sand. The two arachnids and Shuckle hit the sand, and couldn't get out, leaving them unable to continue working. They were carried back to camp by Latios, due to Latias's fear of bugs.

    Besides that little mishap, everything else was going smoothly. Most of the team was tired but it didn't slow them down too much. The only other Pokemon on the team that dropped out were Stunfisk and Klink, both of whom were too tired to carry on.

    Meanwhile, the Ho-Ohs weren't doing so well. They still had to finish the top and outside. They were about done with the path to Regirock's chamber but they still needed to decorate the interior.

    At the top, Spiritomb's psychic powers were still going strong, but Serperior and Altaria were slowly tiring out. Magneton was doing well but soon, smoke was seen coming out of his body.


    Sawk and Aron also couldn't stand the heat anymore, brining the Ho-Oh's numbers to half of the Lugia's, and they were way behind.

    Serperior noticed this, "We've got to work faster." He murmured to himself. "I'm not coming to the pit tonight."


    Serperior: I was really confident that we would win this challenge, now I'm not so sure.


    Spiritomb: Our team morale is at an all-time low. If this keeps up, even I will be in danger and my alliance will crumble. Perhaps there is someone to blame


    The eight hour mark came up and the Lugias were making the finishing touches on their temple.

    Zoroark looked around making sure everything was in place and that the building was completely finished. He gave an approving nod and told Lucario to report to the hosts that the team had finished.


    Meanwhile, The Ho-Ohs were about 2/3 done with theirs. Spiritomb looked toward the Lugia's work area and saw that they had finished.

    He looked toward the two other Pokemon with him at the top of their structure, "We need to hurry, the other team has just finished. Altaria, can you go tell Zangoose, Absol and Numel to hurry up with bringing the stones?"

    "Sure." Altaria said. She flew down from the top as Serperior and Spiritomb kept working.

    She spotted Zangoose and flew next to her, "Spiritomb says we should hurry up, the other team has finished."

    Zangoose scowled, "Tell him that me and Absol are working our rear ends off. Numel is the one that needs to hurry up. Bring these with you." handing a couple of slabs of stone to Altaria before getting more stones.

    Zangoose ran back to get more rocks and passed Numel on the way. "Get moving you lazy lug!" she shouted. "We're way behind!"

    Numel looked at her lazily, "Mmmmkay." Zangoose ran off while Numel continued walking at a slow, but at slightly faster pace.

    After five minutes of walking, Zangoose passed by him again. Screeching to a halt, she screamed, "I told you to hurry up! Not the opposite!" and ran off again.

    It wasn't until the thirteen hour mark was reached that the Ho-Oh's finished their pyramid. Everyone but Spiritomb and Numel were on the ground groaning.

    Spiritomb went to report to the hosts who were now sun tanning.

    Latias removed her sunglasses, "What the *CENSORED* do you want?" she asked in a cross tone.

    "Just wanted to know we've successfully completed the challenge with half the members than the other team had." Spiritomb said as he floated away.

    The hosts and judge got up and stretched before looking at the teams' structures.

    Regirock nodded, "Appearance wise, I like the Ho-Oh's. I always liked pyramids."

    Latios looked at him, "No duh. You almost made our dorm into one. I think I still have that jar of sand from that day."

    "Quit chatting ladies. I don't have all day." Latias grunted.

    Regirock squeezed inside the Ho-Oh's building first. 45 minutes later, he emerged, seeming content.

    "Well, it was nice. I especially liked the dead-end staircase. Gonna take everyone a long time to find me. Now for the other."

    He walked into the Lugia's structure.

    He immediately came out, "You put statues of me in there? I feel honored! You guys win!"

    The Lugias cheered while the Ho-Ohs were dumbfounded. Latias gave a slow clap, "Congrats, Lugias win again. Today, you guys get an air conditioner put in both sides of the cabin. Ho-Ohs, get your *CENSORED* back to elimination. Good day. Latios, bring Regirock's house to the desert."




    A majority of the Ho-Ohs were gathered outside of their cabin. Those that had collapsed had heard the news and weren't happy either.

    "So, who's going to leave today?" asked Feebas.

    "I say Numel. Barely helped this challenge and the first challenge. If it weren't for that explosion last challenge, he would have only finished today." Zangoose responded angrily. There was a murmurr of agreement among the team.

    "Actually, I think we should vote off someone else." Spiritomb interrupted.

    "Who?" Persian asked.


    Absol passed by at that moment. Hearing his name, he hid in the shadow of the cabin, listening intently.

    "Why him?" Altarria asked, "He's been doing well every challenge and was one of the last few left today."

    "Yes I know that but think about it. Absol are known to cause bad luck. Perhaps his luck is influencing our team. If we vote him off, our team might just stop losing."

    "I agree." Cryogonal said. "I want to be a winner, not be with a pathetic loser."

    Serperior glared at Cryogonal before speaking. "Listen, I think we can win whatever challenge is coming up. However, I don't like taking chances. Count me in then." The rest of the team members reluctantly agreed.

    "So you think of me as a jinx?" Absol said, emerging from the shadows.

    Everyonejumped in slight surprise at his appearance. "Unfortunately, yes." Spiritomb said in a calm manner, "I mean you cause disasters, why not bad luck?"

    Absol's gaze darkened, "First of all I don't cause disasters, I only sense them. Second, I don't cause bad luck either, in fact my ability is Super Luck, so don't try and pin our losing streak on me."

    "Then what do you suggest?" Cryogonal sneered. "How do we know that you aren't giving us bad luck?"

    Absol looked at him, then back towards everyone else, "Give me one chance. If we win the next challenge, that will prove I don't have a stupid 'curse'."

    "And if we don't win?" asked Spiritomb.

    "Then you can vote me off. Is that fair?"

    The other Pokemon talked amongst themselves.

    "Alright, we'll you a chance, just make sure you keep your end of the bargain." Spiritomb warned.

    Absol nodded curtly and said a quick "thanks" as he left for the campfire pit.


    That night, the Ho-Ohs were at the campfire pit. Latias looked around.

    "Ho-Oh's, here again. I'm starting to think you guys like elimination. Anyways, I'm tired so I'm going to make this quick. Everyone but Numel come get a Poffin."

    As everyone got up from where they were, Numel's expression didn't change.

    Latias looked at him, "Numel you've been eliminated, please walk the dock of shame and leave."

    "Meh, alright." He said. He didn't look angry or anything, he just walked away to get his belongings.


    Numel: *yawn* Well, I'm gone, I don't mind. I just wish I could sleep more. If I could choose someone to win, I would say maybe Aron or Chinchou. Well I'm leaving, bye *yawns*


    Lampent headed toward her team's cabin, exhausted by the days events. She saw Rotom standing outside looking around. He saw her and floated over.

    "Hello Rotom, you looking for me?" Lampent asked.

    "Yeah, perfect timing actually." he said. "Just wanted to ask you something.

    "What is it?"

    "That was you this morning wasn't it?"

    "N-no, w-what are you talking about?" She stammered.

    Rotom smirked, "Don't lie, I saw you float out of the kitchen."

    Lampent sighed, "Alright, you caught me. Are you going to tell Latios?"

    "No." Rotom said, "I like pranks. I'll keep it our secret."

    Lampent breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks." she said as she went inside the girls' room.

    "Just a tip though," Rotom called out, "try not to make them so dangerous in the future."


    Rotom: I'm probably going to ask Lampent to help with future pranks on Latios. We'll be a pranking duo! Maybe even the best!


    Lampent: I was a bit of a pyro when I was a Litwick. I always enjoyed playing with fire. Of course, I got in trouble a lot but that never really stopped me from playing pranks with fire.


    Roserade and Gardevoir were walking toward their cabin talking about the day's challenge.

    "It's a good thing that we made a statue of Regirock. We might have lost the challenge if we didn't put one." Roserade said, arms behind her head.

    Gardevoir nodded, "Guess we should give Zoroark credit for that idea."

    "You know, I've noticed something. You seem to be around Zoroark a lot. Is there a reason why?"

    Gardevoir's face flushed as she tried to maintain her composure, "N-nothing. I could say the same to you though. You and Lucario seemed to be working together quite often."

    Roserade hid her face behind one of her hands, "Oh that, umm, it's nothing, I-we think that we work well around eachother."

    "Uh-huh." Gardevoir said. She noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Ducking down into the bushes, she motioned Roserade to follow.

    "Okay, what's going on?" Roserade asked.

    "Shhh!" Gardevoir said. She pointed towards four figures by the docks. Lucario, Kingdra, Bisharp and Zoroark.

    "What are they doing?" asked Roserade.

    Gardevoir shook their head, "Beats me but they're definitely talking about something."

    "You think it's an alliance?"

    "Not sure, but they're keeping something from the rest of us."

    "Should we tell the rest of the team?"

    "No, let's observe them a little more before we decide to tell anyone about it."

    Roserade frowned, "Fine, but we're keeping a close eye on them."

    Next Time: The remaining contestants have to climb a mountain and survive at the top, but fate has other plans. Meanwhile, one contestant is pushed to their limit trying to survive but luck isn't on their side.

    I know it's been a while. At least it's updated, right?

    *cricket noises*
        Spoiler:- Want my Friend Code?:

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2012


    The story is really good! Great job and good luck!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    SE asia, Phiippines.


    OH Lampent and Rotom. I should punish you two in a discipline hospital. Seriously, i have a bad side on pranksters like you two to the point I will blast you with my Shotgun-...
    Enough of that.

    I mean. I like Numel anyway. So I don't mind if he is out. I mean, he's a lazy bum from the get go nyway. His base speed says so positively.

    Latias. you got a bipolar personality issue huh?

    Please keep my young partners in company.

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