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Thread: Pokémon 2012: Überload [SU, Closed for now]

  1. #26
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    Sorry, got unexpecitedly busy. But, I got your note, so i am switching to Ho-Oh. I will have it ready by tomorrow evening.
    Last edited by miles0624; 16th November 2012 at 4:22 AM.

  2. #27
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    Alright, thanks for confirming!


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  3. #28
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    Oh my god, it's Fransizka von Karma! =O

    We'll be getting a discussion thread once the RP starts up, right? Also, Evelina has a British accent, since she comes from Sinnoh, and speaks a bit of French, but not much. I'll add that to her SU.

  4. #29
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    Holy carp this took a long time to write.


    Part One: HumanName: Ian Blackwood.
    Gender: Male
    Age:29

    Appearance: Ian stands roughly six feet three inches tall with piercing grey eyes, and thin, yet athletic build. Ian keeps his black hair cropped short, which reveals an ugly scar on the right side of his neck, the result of a training mishap in during his time in the military. The rest of his skin is extremely pale, almost ghost white, making Ian look rather unhealthy at all times. To keep, this and his scar, covered Ian wears two jackets are all times, one is a thin black hooded jacket, and the other leather, also black. Under those, Ian wears grey shirts, and black jeans, with combat boots.

    Personality: Ian is calm and collected in all situations, a leftover of his time in the Rangers. Something of a recluse, Ian tends to try and avoid other people, feeling as though he cannot connect with them, and that they do not understand him. However, two things are true of Ian regardless. He tends to hold regular civilians in slight contempt, and he utterly hates the U.S government, for personal reasons.

    Having no family, Ian doesn’t really know any way to act outside of his gruff and somewhat abrasive mannerisms. No matter how old someone is, Ian tends to treat them as an adult. He tends to be somewhat vulgar, and will occasionally use very archaic phrasing in his sentences. However he often means well, even if he mannerisms don’t show it.

    Background: Ian was born into a middle class western family, with nothing serious to note about them. He had a comfortable life growing up, nothing incredible, but never really wanting for anything. Along that vein, the one thing Ian never wanted growing up was friends. Never failing to keep to himself during school, Ian never truly became friends with anyone, preferring to simply interact with his classmates. As the years progressed, Ian’s peers found that while he would never go out of his way to speak with them, if someone needed help with something, Ian was often a good person to refer them to.

    During his school career Ian often participated in sports, usually track and field, although he did play foot ball for one year. Never extremely gifted academically, Ian always had to work for his good grades.

    Upon leaving high school, Ian immediately joined the Army Rangers, and after failing basic training twice, managed to get in his third try. (Yes, that is pretty reasonable for Ranger Training).

    Nothing really happened to distinguish Ian during his time in the military, except for his somewhat above average skill as a marksman. After almost ten years, and two tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan in military service, Ian was given an honorable discharge. Currently, Ian was living the area around Washington D.C. looking for work of some sort, and visiting some friends from the Army.



    Host Entity: Giritina
    Powers:

    No Risk 1: Shadow Walk: Ian steps into the Distortion World, and is able to move around there for a short time.

    No Risk 2: Night Vision: Ian gains better Night vision.

    Risk One: Shadow Force: Ian steps into the Distortion World, and then appears near, not necessarily behind his target, before striking them with a hand charged with large amounts of energy, or more correctly attempting to strike them. However, if he misses is strike, Ian will fall flat on his face, and getting a direct hit will cause Ian to become fatigued. Also for a short time after using this, his reaction time will be slower.

    Weapon : Ian’s weapon is a Barret M82 sniper rifle. At first glance it appears to be the same as any other weapon of the same type, expect painted somewhat funny, with the barrel reflective silver, and the rest of the weapon nonreflective black. The rifle fires bullets made out of shadow, which behave like standard .50 caliber rounds. All properties of regular bullets apply to them, including the need to remove and then replace the clip after ten shots.

    Part Two: Pokémon*

    Species: Absol
    Nickname: Sol.
    Gender: Male.
    Personality: Sol is a melancholic and somewhat misanthropic Pokémon. His original trainer was a radical extremist who Ian fought, and killed in the Middle East. Ian had never had a Pokémon before, and having seen how the man treated Sol, took the Absol’s Pokéball from the mans corpse, determined to look after the Pokémon himself. Sol has no trust for other people, and frankly doesn’t even trust Ian all that much. He will shy away from anyone other than Ian, and tends to keep to himself. In battle Sol is very literal, taking Ian’s orders at face value, but also pushing himself, out of fear that Ian will turn out like his previous master.
    Moves:

    Psycho Cut: Sol’s claws glow purple with Psychic energy and then he pounces and slashes the foe with them.
    Thunderbolt: Sol releases a bolt of electricity from the tip of his horn.
    Flamethrower: Sol breaths out a torrent of flames.
    Night Slash: Same as Psycho Cut but with Dark instead of psychic energy

    Other: Sol has a number of scars, denoted by silver lines in his fur.
    Last edited by SoulMuse; 21st November 2012 at 6:21 PM.
    Take a moment to consider just how nothing nothing really is....If you understand this, then you just solved the universe.

    The truth that each person...each soul...is a book. And when we lay our feelings out in the open...and we give them no name...and we give them no author....and we give them no description.....who will actually read them..........?"

    Credit to Eevee for the amazing banner.
    Current fanfiction project: Pokemon: Absolution

  5. #30
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    I'm really sorry to say this, but there's some problems with your SU, so I'm going to have to keep you Pending.

    For one, it's probably very nitpicky - but if you look a few posts back, you'll notice I've asked all other entrants to try and keep away from Hoenn legends. This change is optional, but I would very much prefer you to go for a non Hoenn legend for your host Entity.

    For another, your Powers are more than a little overpowered. 'Blessing' and 'Curse' both seem more like risk powers than no risk powers to me. What if Ian wishes for his foe to immediately die, and they 'die for ten seconds'? I hope you see what I mean: the effects are extremely vague and they're definitely not going to come with no strings attached. Irrespective of whether or not you're changing your Host Entity, you're going to have to amend those two.

    Same goes for your weapon. One or two powers for it is fine, but three powers, one that combines all three, next-to-unlimited ammo and a complicated equation? Not fine. I suggest you choose a single one of the first three powers + unlimited ammo.

    So in short: you will absolutely have to change your Powers and your weapon, and, an optional-but-recommended change, you can change your host Entity.

    SoulMuse, you're Pending!

    In other news, I just spotted this:

    Quote Originally Posted by DeadlyBraviary∞ View Post
    they will dissipate into cosmic dust, part of which gives you some powers, and part of which forms your weapon.
    and later ...
    On swallowing your orb, you gain two no risk powers, which is defensive or helpful in nature, and one risk power, which is offensive and more powerful but takes a little of energy.
    Amended to:

    Quote Originally Posted by DeadlyBraviary∞ View Post
    On coming into contact with the cosmic dust of your host Entity
    Also, the rules regarding the possession of Pokemon have changed.

    Quote Originally Posted by DeadlyBraviary∞ View Post
    [*]On the subject of Pokemon, you are allowed to have a maximum of six Pokemon. One can be owned prior to the events of the story, and the rest caught along the way. If you want to, you can choose to not have any Pokemon. When you submit your profile, include ONLY INCLUDE THE ONE POKEMON YOU WILL HAVE IN THE BEGINNING. If you're going to catch more, you'll have to fill in a sign up profile (ONLY THE POKEMON SECTION) and PM it to me, saying something like 'Hey, I want to catch this Pokemon', as well as add it to your original SU profile. Same applies if your Pokemon evolves: send me a PM saying 'My Pokemon is evolving. (insert evolved-form's profile)', however there's no need to update the original SU post.
    This is not including your host Entity.

    And finally,

    Quote Originally Posted by Flame Mistress View Post
    We'll be getting a discussion thread once the RP starts up, right? Also, Evelina has a British accent, since she comes from Sinnoh, and speaks a bit of French, but not much. I'll add that to her SU.
    Umm, of course! I totally did not forget about that until you posted this! =P OK, sure.
    Last edited by Deadly.Braviary; 18th November 2012 at 10:38 AM.


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  6. #31
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    No big. That was decidedly not my best work looking back. Fixed it now.
    Take a moment to consider just how nothing nothing really is....If you understand this, then you just solved the universe.

    The truth that each person...each soul...is a book. And when we lay our feelings out in the open...and we give them no name...and we give them no author....and we give them no description.....who will actually read them..........?"

    Credit to Eevee for the amazing banner.
    Current fanfiction project: Pokemon: Absolution

  7. #32
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    It's fine now, except you misspelled Giratina. =P you don't have to fix that.

    SoulMuse, you're Accepted!

    As you'll know if you've checked the first post, we're waiting on miles and PokeLegend; I'm going to send them another PM telling them that if I check on Saturday morning and their SU's aren't there, I'm opening up their spots. Honestly, two weeks is a long time to wait ...


    plot, bounty hunters, crazed tax collectors
    a journeyfic by the most improved writer of 2012, second place
    what more could you want?


    the Writers of Justice + the Fanfiction Mafia


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  8. #33
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    Heh, wow. That mispelling doesn't suprise me, since I wrote it without looking up the spelling.
    Take a moment to consider just how nothing nothing really is....If you understand this, then you just solved the universe.

    The truth that each person...each soul...is a book. And when we lay our feelings out in the open...and we give them no name...and we give them no author....and we give them no description.....who will actually read them..........?"

    Credit to Eevee for the amazing banner.
    Current fanfiction project: Pokemon: Absolution

  9. #34
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    Name: Miles Stone

    Gender: Male.

    Age: 17.

    Appearance: A short description of their physical characteristics. Miles is approximately 6 feet one inches. His skin color is light brown(Same as Brock's.) He has a lean muscular build from playing sports throughout his life. He wears a Black dress shirt with black slacks, black Cohans and Black socks. His shirt is almost always untucked. He has a normal nose and lips. He has light brown eyes and short black hair that spikes at the end. He wears a white undershirt under the black dress shirt. He has normal ears and arms that are about two inches two long. Also, he has a necklace that keeps his pokeballs. It was a gift from an unknown father.

    Personality:Miles is a very silent person. He usually only speaks when spoken to. He tends to observe everyone around him and base his actions off theirs. Because Miles rarely talks, no one know how to take him. When he talks, it is without emotion. It is not that Miles can't feel emotion, it is just he doesn't know how to express himself. He likes being around other people and observing their interactions, but doesn't mind being alone. Because he rarely talks, when he does speak up, he usually feels embarrassed because others are surprised he said something. For this, many think he is a rather serious person.

    Background: Miles grew up in a very privileged society. His father was an executive at Sliph Co. and made a very good living. He has not had to really work for anything. Even through this, it has not affected him. He doesn't act like a spoiled brat like his friends. He grew up as a very caring person. Because of this, he never felt like he fit in. So he gradually began not talking, until the point when he just analyzed others and spoke when spoken to. This is when he met his friend at the age of eleven. Jacob the eevee came stumbling into his porch injured. The family took the pokemon to nurse Joy for some help, and it would become a pet for the family.

    At the age of thirteen, the parents, Jan and Michael decided to tell Miles about how he was adopted. They got him from the Orre region after his father and mother had vanished. It hadn't really shocked Miles because he had always felt different. But it did give him a feeling of not knowing. He felt like he needed to find himself. His parents understood and said that when he was ready, he could come back and start work at Sliph Co. The next day, he said goodbye, and started his pokemon journey. Instead of starting in Kanto, he went to Jhoto. He won three badges with only Umbreon by his side, and is currently on his way to challenge Morty. He has thought about catching pokemon, but has not yet. A few days ago, he received a necklace from the delivery man from his father? Currently, he is really confused on everything surrounding him.

    Host Entity: Ho-oh: [F] .
    Powers: Describe the effect of the power and what it looks like.

    No-risk power 1: He has the power to send fire from his hands and any part of his body to the target. It is not really strong..

    No-risk power 2 : He has the power of Telekinesis. (Ho-oh can use psychic so...) It is actually a risk power until he has mastered it.

    Risk power 1: Sacred Flame: He conjures Ho-Oh Sacred Flame onto the field and can manipulate it to attack. Using it for longer than thirty-seconds is when it takes a toll on his life (after practice.) Using it for three minutes equals death. This is extremely powerful fire that can escape his grasp of control.

    Weapon: Miles carries a black match in his pocket with a flareon emblem on its front. It gives Miles better control of the fire when not using Sacred Flame. It makes his own innate fire power stronger. Lastly, when Miles is too tired to conjure flames, he can use the match to make his stronger.

    Part Two: Pokemon*
    * Only if you're playing as a trainer. If you have more than one, first fill in all the fields for Pokemon 1, then for Pokemon 2 and finally for Pokemon 3. They absolutely can not be a stage three (second evolution: Charizard, Gallade, etc.). They can evolve through the course of the game however.

    Species: Umbreon.
    Nickname: Jacob.
    Gender: Male .
    Personality: Another serious Pokemon for a dark type. It is a staller for Miles's team. He will use Toxic and wish to poison a Pokemon to death. It also loves using the shadows to its advantage. His favorite attack is faint attack because no Pokemon can see him. It doesn't really like battling and will rather see other Pokemon battle. He is very sneaky and loves to play pranks. He also loves Miles and sometimes stays outside his pokeball.

    Moves:
    1. Toxic :Umbreon sends purple waves to the target that poisons the foes.
    2. Faint Attack: Umbreon literally vanishes from sight, and reappears behind the target to attack.
    3. Moonlight: Umbreon heals itself by creating its own sort of moon.
    4. Psychic: Umbreon gains the ability to control other pokemon and their attacks.
    5. Reflect: Umbreon will fully protect itself from physical attacks. Can't be used with other moves.
    6. Light Screen: Umbreon will fully protect itself from special moves. Can't be used with other moves.
    Other: Light screen and Reflect are based off the anime. There has to be a ten second delay between the use of moves, and they last to a maximum of thirty seconds.

    Edit: Just saw rule of only one pokemon.
    Last edited by miles0624; 24th November 2012 at 3:41 AM.

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeadlyBraviary∞ View Post
    [*]While playing, filling up your sign-up sheet, and commenting on posts, please make the effort to use proper English.
    Quote Originally Posted by miles0624 View Post
    His skin color is light brown(Same as Brock's.)

    ...

    His father was an executive at Sliph Co.

    ...

    He has not had to really work for anything. Even through this, it has not affected him. He doesn't act like a spoiled brat like his friends. He grew up as a very caring person. Because of this, he never felt like he fit in.

    ...

    Instead of starting in Kanto, he went to Jhoto.

    ...

    A few days ago, he received a necklace from the delivery man from his father? Currently, he is really confused on everything surrounding him.

    ...

    No-risk power 1: He has the power to send fire from his hands and any part of his body to the target. It is not really strong..

    No-risk power 2 : He has the power of Telekinesis. (Ho-oh can use psychic so...) It is actually a risk power until he has mastered it.

    ...

    Another serious Pokemon for a dark type. He is very sneaky and loves to play pranks.
    Ok, first of all let me tell you this: miles0624, you're Denied, for blatantly breaking the rules. Really, would it absolutely kill you to use some proper grammar? Silph Co. Johto. Come on. It's not that hard.

    Now let me tell you what else is wrong. The third quote seems a little Gary Stuish. Caring people don't fit in? How does that work? Fourth quote: it's Johto, like I said, and that's not really 'breaking the mould' is it? Fifth quote just plain doesn't make sense - I agree with Miles on that. As for his no-risk power 2, it should be pretty obvious what's wrong. Seriously, the name says no-risk power, how can it be a risk power?! As for the last quote: a serious Pokemon that loves to play pranks?

    All these reasons add up to your denial. You clearly have not been able to follow one simple rule, so I'm going to just straight out tell you that your sign up is rejected: this means even if you go back and edit it, I won't look at it. What I need is a brand new one, better than before.

    PokeLegend, you're also Denied for not reaching the deadline.



    Now that that's over with, I have good news! We are going to start the RPG itself soon enough. I'm off to make the Discussion thread. I need y'all to post in there once for confirmation, and then we can start.

    EDIT: Discussion thread is up! Clicky there and post something like "confirmed to start" or whatever.
    Last edited by Deadly.Braviary; 24th November 2012 at 8:26 AM.


    plot, bounty hunters, crazed tax collectors
    a journeyfic by the most improved writer of 2012, second place
    what more could you want?


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  11. #36
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    Name: Miles Stone

    Gender: Male.

    Age: 17.

    Appearance: Miles currently stands at six feet one inches. His skin color is a light shade of brown. Because he has played sports throughout his life, he a a muscular build. He wears a black dress shirt with black slacks, black Cohans with a brown leather undertone, and Black socks. He wears a white undershirt under the black dress shirt. His shirt is always untucked. His lips, ears, and nose are normal. Moreover, he has light brown eyes and short black hair that spikes at the end. His arms hang two inches too long when flat against his side. Also, he has a necklace that keeps his pokeballs; it is navy blue in color, with six placeholder spots for the pokeball. It was a gift from an unknown father.

    Personality: Miles is a very silent person. He is the type that likes to stand back in the crowd and watch other people's actions. If it involves sports, he will actively participate in the event. The reason is that Miles is passionate about sports, having played it for most of his life. However, when it comes to regular social events, he doesn't speak up as much. He becomes more talkative when around his friends, but this is only after knowing them for a while.

    Background: Miles grew up in a very privileged society. His father was an executive at Apple Inc. Japan. Because of this, Miles has been able to live a high class social life. However, he never felt like he fit in. It wasn't that his parents did not even look like him, but everyone in his age group seemed to shun him. When his parents weren't around the kids in his age group would call him a yokugaisha. This made Miles feel even more on the outside of social events. For this reason, he gradually began talking less at events and started observing others. However, because of his natural build, others always wanted him on their team. Outside of sports, they still didn't talk to him.

    At the age of ten, some of the kids began actually talking to him. He still felt on the outside, but he began to actually have friends. This continued when an eevee stumbled onto his property. It was extremely ill, so he and his parents took it to Nurse Joy. She patched the eevee up and it became a lot like Miles. It was the pet of the family, and they were tied to the hip. At this time Miles was finally starting to fit in with the rest of his age group. Yet, this would all soon change.

    At the age of thirteen Miles's parent began to tell him about his true origins. Miles was an adopted child from the United States. This was easily understandable because Miles could see the differences between him and his parents. Yet, he still wanted to learn about his culture. So, with his parents permission, he traveled to the United States to find himself. He started in Tennessee, the state he was adopted from. In the last four years, he found out some more things about his family. He has even met some of his "real" grandparents. They sent him on a trip to Washington to find his dad. His real dad is a natural traveler with his mother.



    Host Entity: Ho-oh: [F] .
    Powers: Describe the effect of the power and what it looks like.

    No-risk power 1: He has the power to send fire from his hands and any part of his body to the target. It is not really strong.

    No-risk power 2 : He has the power of Telekinesis; it can only activate it defensively at first. Later is the story, he will be able to use it at will.

    Risk power 1: Sacred Flame: He conjures Ho-Oh Sacred Flame onto the field and can manipulate it to attack. Using it for longer than thirty-seconds is when it takes a toll on his life (after practice.) Using it for three minutes equals death. This is extremely powerful fire that can escape his grasp of control.

    Weapon: Miles carries a black match in his pocket with a flareon emblem on its front. It gives Miles better control of the fire when not using Sacred Flame. It makes his own innate fire power stronger. Lastly, when Miles is too tired to conjure flames, he can use the match to make his stronger.

    Part Two: Pokemon*

    Species: Umbreon.
    Nickname: Jacob.
    Gender: Male .
    Personality: This is a sneaky pokemon. He makes everyone think he is very serious, but he loves to play pranks on unsuspecting victims. He uses his best move, faint attack, to turn himself invisible to set up the his pranks. This also spreads to his attacking style. He loves to hide and strike when others are least suspecting. In the end he still loves to be pampered, having participated in such treatment for years. This has led other pokemon to think of him as a little brat.

    Moves:
    1. Toxic :Umbreon sends purple waves to the target that poisons the foes.
    2. Faint Attack: Umbreon literally vanishes from sight, and reappears behind the target to attack.
    3. Moonlight: Umbreon heals itself by creating its own sort of moon.
    4. Psychic: Umbreon gains the ability to control other pokemon and their attacks.
    5. Reflect: Umbreon will fully protect itself from physical attacks. Can't be used with other moves.
    6. Light Screen: Umbreon will fully protect itself from special moves. Can't be used with other moves.
    Other: Light screen and Reflect are based off the anime. There has to be a ten second delay between the use of moves, and they last to a maximum of thirty seconds.

    There you go. I don't see anything wrong currently.

  12. #37
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    Alright - I'll accept it this time, even though I did say the RPG is closed. miles is Accepted - I'm too tired to edit the roster right now, so I'll do it tomorrow.

    Well, I'm saying it now, one last time. THIS RPG IS CLOSED UNTIL I POST BACK HERE SAYING IT'S OPEN. NO MORE SIGNUPS WILL BE CONSIDERED UNTIL I SAY SO.

    Thank you.


    plot, bounty hunters, crazed tax collectors
    a journeyfic by the most improved writer of 2012, second place
    what more could you want?


    the Writers of Justice + the Fanfiction Mafia


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