Pokémon Johto - The Funne Version!!!
Oh! Sorry! WHEE!
. . .
Must have been all the bananas... anyway, hello and welcome to another fic by the Mafuné duo. We’re not brothers, twins, or anything like that – we just share the same artistic name.
Unfortunately. Anyway, the main point of this fic is that we are gonna do something amazing and unreal.
WE’RE GONNA DO A POKÉMON GSC ADVENTURE/JOURNEY/ICECREAM STORY! KHEKHEKHEKHE!
Shut. Up. But yeah, he’s right. Unfortunately. Why is it unreal? Simply because it’s so unused it’s original even if we don’t make it.
Yeah... he does. Now, if you’ll allow me... On with the tape.
Will someone bring the elephant tranquilizer already?!
Chapteur Le First
—Kenta’s Quest! Pokémon, Pokégear, Poké-things!—
It was one of the nicest days in the peaceful town of New Bark. Then a Swalot jumped on a Dodrio that was about to squawk and ate him in one gulp. “Swalot!” it said later, before burping, saying his own name again.
Meanwhile, inside a house on the northeastern corner of the city, a young boy jumped out of his bed, filled with happiness. Laughing like a maniac, he jumped into the wardrobe and closed the doors, before the wardrobe started to jump maniacally.
After a few minutes, he jumped out of the wardrobe, now fully clothed. He was wearing a red and white sweater over a red shirt, with yellow shorts and shoes as well. On his head, a yellow and black cap, turned towards his back, gave the final touches.
Looking at himself on a nearby mirror, he grinned at the effect, before listening to a call from down the nearby stairs. Taking his backpack from the nearby table, he approached them, and heard the call repeat. “HEY, KENTA! COME DOWN HERE!!!” a shrill female voice screamed, causing him to fall down to the floor, surprised. Getting up, he rubbed his head.
“Sheesh, mom, what’s the hurry...” he muttered, before heading down the stairs. On the lower floor, which looked a lot like every house in the country, he noticed his mom talking to the next-door neighbor, a plump old woman who had a dozen kids and had about a hundred trophies from her kids’ journeys. Nowadays she spent her time going to other people’s houses and telling them all about the golden trophies she kept on her house, placed on a stand in the living room where anyone could touch them. Despite everyone else’s requests, she kept saying there was no risk of theft.
Then again, that was a podunk town with about fifty families, despite being the entrance to Johto, something that was attested also by the cities of Goldenrod and Olivine. Um, it was also the place where all young and starting Pokémon trainers went to receive their first Pokémon, unless they lived on any of the other cities, where they could receive or catch them with help from the Gym Leaders. Uh... it was also the place where Prof. Elm, the leading authority in the Pokémon world, unless you remembered Prof. Oak, lived. It was also the homeland of...
Ah, enough about this, and let’s go on.
Anyway, Kenta, who was obviously the boy who has some strange importance, despite being a rather unknown character for the previous minutes, and therefore is listed here as the main character for reasons you don’t want to know about (YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THEM!), was staring at his mother and her visitor, who had been the focus of attention for several minutes before they turned their gazes to the city.
Finally, after the long and awkward pause, the boy ahemed, despite that not being a verb or a real action, and then proceeded to clear his throat in a coughing fit. This broke the previously unknown spell that affected the city, and now his mom was paying attention to him. “Yes, dear?” she asked, with a voice that seemed a bit strained. The fact that the plump old woman in front of her was apparently hoping to speak seemed to be related to that, but probably isn’t.
Kenta stared at her as if she had turned into a Dodrio hybrid. Well, if you asked any of the males living in the city who wasn’t at the vicinity of their wives, they’d say that that look was something usual for them, given how the somewhat young woman was sadly a single mother. Unfortunately for her, it just so happened that all the men in the city were unhappily married because of that. And most of this unhappiness came from the fact that they never let their husbands pursue their dreams, like skydiving naked or climbing Mt. Silver to the peak, or visiting the Azalea and Goldenrod Gyms, something they missed from their journeys. But that’s unrelated and we won’t talk about that, especially because we’ve got better things to do than listen to a bunch of old men whining about how their wives were horrible hags.
Seriously, we do.
As this monologue happened, Kenta stopped staring and decided to speak. “It’s just that you just screamed for me to-” he started, but was quickly interrupted as his mother quickly got up the table and moved towards him, laughing loudly as she took something out of her right pocket, obscuring the plump old woman from sight. When she was sure her face couldn’t be seen, her eyes quickly became pleading and her expression dropped to one of despair. Kenta easily noticed that it was the same expression all the other women in town had for their children (and, for some strange reason, he tended to be a normal target as well, despite not actually being friendly to their children; it was as though people expected him to do things for them for no reason) when that plump old woman visited them for five hours, which pretty much meant ‘Help me out or you’ll be grounded until after I die’.
Sighing as usual, he finally noticed the object his mother produced from inside her pocket; a familiar circular device with a specially designed LCD touchable screen, several switches for various functions, including one of his favorites, a systematic cellular antenna-and-duovocal sliding bar, which was something he didn’t understand other than it meaning the word ‘cellphone’. Combined into a very complex machinery piece, the POKéMON Geared Energetic Automated Receiver, which was usually shortened into POKéMON GEAR, and then POKéGEAR, but without so many capitalized letters, was the most recent device from Selected Industries of the Local Pokémon Humane Corporation, or Silph Co. Most people didn’t really know what the words exactly meant, and usually when asked the lawyers, accountants, and other technical people in the realm of business told them that they were part of a heavy code made mostly in protection of the rights of the people as potential customers. Which some skeptics called a bunch of technobabble, which was also an alternate official explanation according to the technical people, which led to several lawsuits by the part of the lawyers, but that’s too much digression for the mere explanation of a watch, and therefore, if you want the complete story, please read your economical history books.
His mother beamed, before moving around and making sure the plump old woman could notice what she was about to do. “Well, Kenta, Prof. Elm called earlier, while you were sleeping. He finished fixing your Pokégear, and left it here before going back to his lab, asking me to tell you to go to his lab. Apparently he had something else for you. Isn’t that great?” she said, before cocking her head to the side and giving a smile that made men in the city lose their footing and sigh sadly while their wives took heavy objects conveniently stored on their purses and smacking them on the head.
Kenta put up a smile and nodded, noticing how the plump old woman was in a mix between expectant and nervous. “Yeah, that’s great,” he said half-heartedly while taking the device on her offering hand and slapping it on his wrist, as with a normal watch, when the biomagnetic stickers kept it safe in place on his shirt. “So... Prof. Elm wants to talk to me?” he asked, sounding as hopeful as he could without actually being hopeful. His mother almost showed a tint of sadness go through her face, but if she did, it didn’t last a second; almost immediately, she increased her smile, to the point where he swore he was staring at an Octyllery’s lower and many times forgotten second mouth. Those were known by all people, when they were young and studious, as being dark and damp and usually that’s how they eat.
Keeping her large and scary smile, she cocked her head farther to the side. “Well, that’s what he said. But I am pretty sure he can wait some time, and Ms. Maple here was telling me about her fifth daughter, Meg, quite the delightful tale, really...” she told him, but her pained eyes were pretty much crying and screaming ‘Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore-Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore-Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore-Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore-Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore...’ in a tone which’d have made a thief from one of Kenta’s comics proud.
In an alternate dimension where the thief lived, he sneezed in a strangely effeminate tone, while an elf Archmage was teleporting them around with a minor spell. But that’s another story which nobody cares about right now.
Kenta gulped, as he knew that if he didn’t do anything, he’d be forced to spend the rest of the day listening to Ms. Maple’s boring tales, something that nobody wanted to do. Yet, if he left his mother with her, she was probably and definitely apply a terrible punishment to him, one he did NOT want to know. So he did the best thing that came to his mind. “Ms. Maple, I think that Prof. Elm’s family would be interested in listening to your stories right now. My mother has to make some... cakes... for a sale we’re making,” he lied, giving off the most honest expression he could muster. Fortunately for him, Ms. Maple was too trusting of people because she wanted them to listen to her (something they tended to do), and so she remembered she actually hadn’t visited the young Professor’s family in weeks. She gave a small smile and told Fia, Kenta’s mom, that she would continue her tale the next time she came.
As she walked over to the door, Fia gave her son a thankful yet angry look, which was answered by a confused look. Yet, he said nothing; instead, he walked towards the door and opened it for Ms. Maple, who gave her good-byes and left. Kenta soon followed, leaving the house and taking in the mid-morning sights of the city. It was, as mentioned before, a small podunk town where nobody didn’t know each other, and there was a tendency for interbreeding, as in people marrying on and off families. As usual in small places.
Walking around, he noticed a young boy who was playing around, when he noticed Ms. Maple walking towards his house. As she approached, he paled and ran towards his house, closing the door with a loud noise. Simultaneously, the people closer to her started to retreat, which made the scene become quite comical as several grown women (and several men, but not as many) were running away from a woman who looked like she couldn’t hurt a Butterfree (unless you considered mental damage from utter boredom painful).
Sweatdropping as he saw the scene, he took the short path to the nearby laboratory. However, he noticed that there was a strange-looking boy about his age staring at a window. He had long, flowing red hair, in the sense that most girls have, and wore a black sweater and purple pants, as well as a look of perpetual scorn on his face. If anyone cared, they’d notice black sneakers as well. But nobody really cared, too surprised with Ms. Maple and knowing peace was gone for them soon. Still, he was a fairly new face there, something unusual that month. Kenta was curious, but he didn’t try to push the matter; for some reason, the guy gave him the creeps, and he didn’t like feeling those. Besides, he had something better to do.
Going inside, he noticed the only aide Prof. Elm had, a young man who wanted to work for Prof. Oak, he’d heard; however, the letter hadn’t come, and he ended up working for Elm. He walked past the bookstands, several having labels stating they belonged to a ‘Samuel ***’ person, and reached the backroom, where Prof. Elm was fiddling with a computer with a tag similar to the labels on the books, with the name ‘Samuel ***’ on the side. Along the room, there was a large machinery with the words ‘Portable POKéMON Collapsible Electronic Neuro-Technological Energy Restorer’, with a note below indicating that it was ‘a gift from the ***** POKéMON Centers, to Samuel ***’.
As he stared at those, Prof. Elm, a young man who had a strange haircut, turned around to talk to Kenta. “So, Kenta, you’re finally here... sit down, please,” he told him, motioning for a nearby chair.”
Kenta sat down. “You wanted to talk to me, professor?”
Elm nodded. “Yes. You see, I have been stuck to my neck in work, and unfortunately, I’ve been too busy with paperwork, to the point where I’ve stopped going off to the river to fish new species to eat- I mean study nowadays.”
“I think I get it... but do you need me to do anything?”
“Well, yes. You see, my old childhood friend, Tajiri, although he’s more known as Mr. Pokémon, has announced to me that he has a new discovery. He’s been always like that, really. In fact, talking about him reminded me of the time where we were in high school. He always went off in hunts for new things. Although most of them were in the female dorm. Then again, he was always such a...” he reminisced, when he noticed Kenta’s stare of utter boredom. He laughed nervously. “But that’s not important right now. What is important is that he asked me to check his newest discovery, but...” he motioned towards the large amount of paper that was on the table.
“So, you’re asking me to go see what this great discovery is?”
The Professor nodded, opening a wide smile. “That’s right! But since the path is dangerous for a lone boy such as you, I’m gonna get you a Pokémon!”
Kenta sweatdropped, making a surprised face. “Um, professor...” he tried to speak, but was cut off.
“Yes! For you will need one to defend yourself from the dangers of this world! There are no problems with relying so much on them, because that’s what they’re here for! You should do good by travelling around with them! And that’s something you’ll only get from me!” Elm said, taking on a pose and talking to air. Out of the room, the aide sweatdropped and went back to cleaning the labfloor, littered with paper.
Kenta sighed closed his eyes. Elm smirked. “I’m kidding, Kenta! That’s just what I’m gonna say on the next commercial they’re making about my lab.” Kenta just laughed awkwardly, before turning his gaze towards the red and white spheres, with a black line keeping the red half away from the white half. One was marked with red shirt buttons, one with blue shirt buttons, and one with green shirt buttons.
“Do I still need to take one, though?” he asked, annoyed. Elm raised an eyebrow.
“Kenta, you know that the League forbids people from travelling without a Pokémon. After all, it’s required for the upcoming tournaments that you kids start with a Pokémon early, so that you can grow up to become normal adults and take your rightful place as politicians.” Kenta half-closed his eyes.
“Why do you keep saying weird things?” he asked, causing the Professor to stammer to the ground, in a comical way. He stood up again, defying Physics as he did that in one second, and laughed.
“Oh, that’s just a joke. Don’t worry about that,” the professor told him. However, Kenta was still feeling uncomfortable. Still, the professor expected him to go to where Mr. Pokémon was, and he didn’t feel like disappointing him. But to take a Pokémon with him? He liked Pokémon as much as about everyone else in the planet, but unlike most people, his mother had kept him sheltered from most Pokémon, to the point where he had only studied them in books. And some of the things he’d read about the history of Pokémon weren’t what a young boy was supposed to know.
But his mother had tried to give him the best of education, and so he had learned much of the things most trainers didn’t even realize. He had an edge if he was forced, as he knew he’d inevitably be, to battle other trainers. And no matter how much he loved his town, he knew that his mother would be disappointed if he didn’t follow his father’s footsteps and became a Pokémon trainer.
In fact, that opened another question... why had he just thought that? His father hadn’t been a Pokémon trainer! He had been-“Kenta?”
Turning his gaze back to Elm, he noticed the elder man was confused. “You’ve been staring at the Pokéballs for minutes. I thought you had blacked out. Are you okay?” Kenta nodded.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking about it. And...” he sighed. This was it. “I’ve decided that I’m going there.”
Elm opened a big smile, and quickly defied Physics again, appearing behind the table where the Pokéballs were lying. “Excellent!” he said, half-laughing, before motioning towards the spheres. “In here are three Pokémon: the calm and delightful Chikorita, the playful and joking Totodile, and the happy and loyal Cyndaquil! Choose one of them!” he said, while motioning from right to left. Kenta took a moment, gulping nervously, before getting up and picking the leftmost Pokéball, with the red shirt buttons. Elm then made a happy pose, giving him a thumbs-up, before quick-moving to the same place he was earlier. “Cyndaquil, huh? Great choice! It might be a bit slow on the uptake, but it makes up thanks to its own power!”
He then noticed the device on Kenta’s shirt. “Oh, yeah! Your mom must have delivered your Pokégear to you. Well, then,” he said, before pressing a button on his phone, which caused a long thin cable to jump out. Approaching Kenta, he inserted the small point on a hole designed for it. Then, he pressed another button, sending data into Kenta’s POKéGEAR. Once the process was over, the cable retreated automatically. “Now you have my phone number. Contact me if anything important appears, okay?”
Kenta nodded, before pressing the button on his Pokéball, which caused it to shrink, surprising the boy. Elm laughed a bit. “Don’t worry, that’s a normal system Pokéballs use. By shrinking, you can carry them easier than if they were in their normal size. Nifty, huh?” Kenta merely nodded, before he walked towards the exit, stepping on lots of paper along the way.
Before he could open the door, however, the aide walked towards him. “Oh, if you’ll excuse me...” and before Kenta could react, he took a Potion from his coat and put it inside the middle pocket of his backpack. “You might need one of these later on. Don’t waste them, however. Only use them if you are sure that your Pokémon won’t hold on for too long.” Then, he pushed the boy through the door, before taking his broom and cleaning the floor again.
Well, we’re done.
And Soujiro’s finally stopped running around.
You’ll have to forgive us... he’s been excitable ever since he found out we’ve passed our college exams.
So, don’t worry, be happy, and read us!