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Thread: Pokemon: A Modern Interpretation

  1. #1
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    Default Pokemon: A Modern Interpretation

    Hello Serebii Forums, this is my first ever fanfiction, so I'm really exicited about this post. For now I'll keep things simple to see where this goes. I hope you enjoy.

    Rating: PG, Brief instance of swearing

    Start Zero

    The rails shook violently as the train enters the station. A robotic voice echos sharply through the station “Grand, please exit the train”. A crowd of people exited the train, the last one to exit is a young man of about 17 years old, but many would say he looked like he was in his early 20’s with a stern looking expression that made the deep crevices of his face look even more defined. He had the face of someone that knew hardship, the defined features of his face made him look almost like a Roman marble statue.

    The young man looked about the station with nonchalance, it was an ordinary scene. Men and women wearing business suits walking to work with their Pokémon. Students wait on a bench toiling over their phone. Pidove scurrying about the station looking for scraps of food. And of course the homeless begging for money, some with their Pokémon doing pointless tricks to grab people’s attention.


    “I always hate when they do that”, the young man said quietly to himself looking upon a homeless man yelling at his Zigzagoon,

    ”You dumb s***, you have to juggle the balls not bounce them!” The homeless man then proceeded to beat the Zigzagoon. This homeless man looked like any other beggar with the exception of a burn mark covering the enitre left half of his face which alone made him stand out amongst the other beggars.

    “He could gain more attention than the Zigzagoon“, the young man thought.


    The young man proceeded down the stairs and asked a passerby for directions, “Do you know how I can get to the Salvation Army outlet store”, the young man asked. “Head straight up Grand and make a left on Union”, said the passerby. “Thanks”, said the young man.


    When the young man had arrive at his destination, he immediately headed to the receptionist’s desk. As the young man walked through the building he couldn't help but be reminded of home. The destitute people of the city gathering for food and warmth, the hall's grey crumbling paint, the cheap floruscent lighting, and the smell of the unbathed. This sight made him more convinced that coming here was the right thing to do.

    “Do you know where I can find Sander Rugh?” he asked.

    “Oh Sander, he’s in the back room helping bring in a new donation of clothes.”

    “Thank you”, he muttered.

    The young man proceeded to the back and there was Sander, carrying a large box out of a truck without any help from his Pokémon.Sander is man of about medium height, close to his 30's. While Sander doesn't have any set piece of clothing he usually wears, you can always identify him through the hair (which has a thick layer on the top while the sides are thin and have trimmed into it the word Elite) and a crystal see-through amulet with silver edgings wrapped around his wrist. His complexion is light brown and looks to be of Native American descent. His face is quite handsome with a sharp jaw line and piercing brown eyes. Perhaps that is why he is known was the Sparkling Sand for his facial features looked the best in bright light. It was quite unusual to see Sander struggling to carry the box by his lonesome while the other volunteers were being helped by their Pokémon to carry these larges boxes into the store. After all Sander is a member of the Elite Four: the strongest trainers in the world next to the World Champion.

    The young man grimaced, he didn’t like introductions but this was important. “Hello sir, my name is-“,


    “Oh, I know who you are”, Sander said with a smirk. “I was wondering when you’d get here, come help me with this stuff then we’ll talk”.


    The young man did as he was instructed and began to reach for his Poke Ball, “Ah, you don’t need your partner’s help for this”, Sander said joyfully.


    “Why not?” said the young man.

    “Pokémon aren’t a means to an end, why bother your precious partner for something your able to do on your own.”


    The young man shrugged and began lifting the boxes out of the truck. It was dusk by the time they were done with the boxes. The young man was tired and out of patience.

    “So are you here to waste my time or what”, blurted the young man. Sander just smiled knowingly.

    “Alright”, he said. “The reason I asked your mother to let me fly you out here, was so I could see you first-hand, and now that I have I’m almost sure you’ll be a success.”

    “But what is it that you want me to do!” the young man asked impatiently.

    “Your mother didn’t tell you? I want you to have a Pokémon battle with me.”

    The young man couldn’t help but laugh, he had traveled to Chicago leaving his sickly mother alone just to have this fool ask him for a Pokémon battle. “I don’t have time for your games, Sander”, the young man said with a sudden menace and began to walk away.


    “If you battle me, I’m going to pay for your mother’s hospital bill”, Sander said calmly.


    The young man turned around staring blankly at Sander, he didn’t get this man’s game what is he trying to accomplish through all this.


    “Alright, but if I win does that mean I become a member of the Elite Four”, the young man asked jokingly. “Sure you can have my title too if you want”, Sander said with a grin.

    “Fine but don’t you dare think I’m some pushover, I’ll have you know they called me the Devil’s Hand back in Cali”.

    “Oh, I know all too well”.

    “Then get ready Sander, I, Rem Agudelo, challenge you!”

    End Zero
    Last edited by Standard Luxury; 20th January 2013 at 5:44 PM.

  2. #2
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    This chapter gets alittle more intense so there is a new rating.

    Rating:PG-14

    Start One: Fateful Meeting

    Rem reached for the Poke Ball on his belt. He smiled to himself, he knew that he was battling a member of the Elite Four and no less the 3rd seat, Sander Rugh. He knew that this wouldn’t be like battling the thugs and punks back at home, if he wanted to win he was going to have to bring out all the stops. He knew what was at stake.
    *****
    At this point, it is important to note the history and give further details of Rem Agudelo. Rem is a tall young man with brownish blond shaggy hair and a tannish complexion similar to someone who spends a lot of time on the beach. His eyes are a crisp hazel, the type that shine like golden nuggets in the sun. He has thick eyebrows and a sharp nose that makes him looked reserved. Many would say this greatly attributed to why he is seen as older than he really is. He can usually be seen sporting a black t-shirt that says “FIGHTER” in bold red letters, dark-blue jeans, and brown Ralph Lauren suede shoes. The shoes may suggest a decent social status, do not let this fool you, these are by no means affordable for him. Rem obtained these shoes from a shoplifter while he was on an errand in the mall. He stop the shoplifter with ease and as reward for stopping the thief and bringing back the shoes, the store manager allowed him to keep the shoes free of charge. These shoes are one of Rem’s prized possessions, in fact, Rem wears no other shoes but these. Given this fact, the brown leather of the shoes have turned a musky brown while the stitching of the sole can be easily seen.

    Rem was born and raised in Emeryville, California. His mother was of German descendant while his father of Cuban. He grew up in a low middle class family; his dad worked as a manager at a construction company while his mother was a teacher at a local elementary school. His father died in a construction accident at a power plant when he was only 6 years old. Ever since then, Rem had to burden a stronger load to keep the family afloat. His mother got another job as a receptionist at a local hospital while Rem began working different odd jobs around the community. Rem lived in a less than pleasant neighborhood growing up. He was constantly pestered by a group of local boys while going to school every day and also going to and from work. Rem was no stranger to battling, as he grew so did his talent as a trainer but this was all necessary to survive for as he grew older so too did the viciousness of the boys. His mother grew very ill when he was 16 and was hospitalized for 6 months.

    Rem feared for his mother’s life and as their financial situation deteriorated, Rem was forced to extreme measures. He began affiliating himself with a local gang know was the South Hydras while at the same time also started to participate in Death Battles, where Pokémon are sent to fight to the death, also the South Hydra’s prime revenue source. The audience would bet on a trainer and if your partner lived you would receive a large sum of money. Though Rem hated putting his Pokémon’s life on the line he knew no other way to make quick large amounts of cash. But a ray of light did eventually shine on the distraught Rem. His mother became healthly once again and was soon released from the hospital but the dark undertone of the shattering debt the family owed was still alive. Rem was ecstatic when his mother returned home and knew that he was finally finished with Death Battles.

    Of course, the South Hydras weren’t going to let their prized money maker go so easily. The South Hydras hunted Rem down like a dog. Rem fought them off, but this was not meant to last. One day a man known simply as Kane came to Rem’s house, Kane like Rem was also an extremely talented trainer. Kane was sent as the ace of the South Hydras to kill Rem. Rem and Kane fought ferociously but by the final moments of the battle both trainers and their Pokémon were battered, bloody, and exhausted. Then Kane did the unthinkable and attempted to attack Rem’s house where his mother was. Rem, in utter rage, gave a decisive blow to Kane and his Pokémon… a killing blow. During Rem’s battle with Kane, a small opening in the dusty curtain attached to the windowpane could be seen. His mother had seen the whole thing. She was horrified by the gruesome battle but also couldn’t help seeing Rem’s talent as a trainer. At that moment, she decided that Rem needed to leave Emeryville, for it was no longer a safe place for him to be. An old friend of her deceased husband, Sander, would be able to help Rem to the right path. So she sent Rem telling him it was a job request, for she knew her son would never leave her alone without a good reason, to Chicago to meet Sander. Rem, knowing his mother wishes the best for him, decided to leave. This was the beginning of a new chapter for him and his mother.
    *****
    ”Well, Rem make you move”, Sander said patiently.

    “I’d rather you go first, Sander”, said Rem

    “All righty, then” said Sander
    As quick as lighting, Sander’s Pokémon appeared. Rem didn’t even see him reach for the ball. What appeared from the Poke Ball was a short and brownish looking creature, Hippopotas.
    Rem grasped the Poke Ball tightly and pressed the center button. The ball expand in a flash and blinding light soon followed. As the light faded away, a similar sight appeared.

    “I guess great minds pick the same Pokémon”, Rem said sarcastically.

    Sander smiled, “J.J, Sand attack!”
    A thick mass of sand was expelled out of the hole on top of Hippopotas’s back. It hit Rem’s Hippopotas square in the face. It flailed it head frantically but immediately calmed itself.
    “Good, Hippopotas. Don’t let the enemy confuse you.” Rem said calmly.

    “J.J, give it a Double Edge”.
    Sander’s Hippopotas charged toward the blinded Hippopotas with frightful speed. Rem lips slightly creased toward the edges of his face.
    Rem’s Hippopotas side stepped away from J.J’s Double Edge with ease even though it could not see.

    “Oh, that’s a pretty fast, Hippopotas you got there”, Sander said

    “Let’s slow him down, J.J, Sandstorm”

    Almost instantaneously, sand covered Sander’s Hippopotas and soon expelled throughout the whole parking lot. “Now Dig, J.J”, said Sander

    Rem’s Hippopotas remained motionless. Its body as still as Xatu. “Dodge now!”
    Rem’s voice echoed throughout the lot. As quickly as Rem had spoken, J.J erupted from the ground underneath Hippopotas feet. Rem’s Hippopotas narrowly dodged it, flipping in the air with surprising grace. It landed on the asphalt with a thud.
    “Keep it up, J.J”, Sander said coolly. And so continued J.J’s barrage of Digs, going in and out of the ground, each time just missing Rem’s Hippopotas.
    “Is that all you can do, Rem”, Sander said tauntingly. “Dodging won’t win you the battle.”

    Rem grinned, “What about your Hippopotas.”

    Sander looked down, J.J stood shaking like a ghost, and its muscles shook with violent force as if an invisible hand was keeping it from moving.

    “Now I know why they call you the Devil’s Hand”, said Sander with a smile. “You create openings on purpose so you can observe your opponent's battling style. Then cancel their attacks when you’ve worn them down. You make it seem as if an otherworldly force is at work.” “So let me guess, this is a Torment?”

    “How perceptive of you, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised”, said Rem. “Well then you should know what’s coming next, Hippopotas, Crunch!”
    Hippopotas crouched low to the ground, though its teeth are wide and flat they glared with the menace of a predator’s incisors right before it feeds. Hippopotas sped toward J.J and began to open its mouth.

    “Nice try, Rem, but come on now”, said Sander with too much joy. “Superpower”

    J.J body glowed bright red slamming right into Hippopotas’s jaw. The impact was so hard that the sound resonated throughout the entire block. Rem’s Hippopotas was down for the count.
    A light glowed faintly around Hippopotas, its bulky mouth shifted into that of a sleek black snout with small whiskers, its short stubby body became long and elegant. The wide legs and feet transformed into thin legs with large red talons protruding from the paws. The sandpaper colored skin became fur black as night with a bright red mane.

    “Just as, I thought”, said Sander. “It was a Zoroark.”

    “What! You knew the whole time”, said Rem with disbelief.

    “When you first showed your Pokémon, I thought it strange that you would have the same one as me. Especially since I just met this little guy only a few days ago”, said Sander tenderly smiling at his Hippopotas.

    “Just a few days ago? But that Hippopotas fought like a veteran-trained Pokémon” said Rem “That’s the Elite Four for ya, damn monsters”, Rem thought.

    “Also another thing that gave it away was, the speed. My J.J’s fast but your Zoroark was like a whirling dervish!” Sander laughed heartily.

    “So now what I lost, I’m no use now”, Rem said quietly

    “Nobody said you had to win, Rem. You showed me exactly what I’ve been hearing about from your mother. There is no denying your talent as a trainer and with a little help you can become one of the best. I think you’re ready”, said Sander.

    “Ready for what?” Rem said

    “To become my apprentice, of course”.

    The moon was out now shining brightly in the dark sky, too bright. It was as if the sun was still up, shining upon Rem with hope.
    End One
    Last edited by Standard Luxury; 20th January 2013 at 8:14 PM.

  3. #3
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    Welcome to the forum! This is a review for your first chapter!

    Sounds like an interesting idea you have here! You have a character in a foreign city sent on a mysterious errand, an interesting start to a story. I also like that you give us important information, like about his ailing mother, through the dialogue. It's much more interesting than if you had just written something like "also, Rem's mom was sick," so nice job there!

    You also did a nice job of setting the scene for us at the beginning. You created a nice atmosphere for the train station with the busy people, the homeless begging for change and so on. That said, I wish you had done the same thing for when Rem enters the Salvation Arms. What does it look like? What does it smell like? Is it busy and energetic like the train station or quiet and boring?

    Another thing to keep in mind is describing characters. You gave an interesting description of Rem - though the marble statue comment was kind of weird. Why would an angular face look like a marble statue? Either way, you can also describe other characters a little - how much you describe them depends on how important they are. For instance, you can just give a quick description of the homeless man (is he old, young, does he have a beard, are his clothes tattered?). More importantly, Rem is meeting Sander a member of the Elite Four (which should be capitalized, by the way)! What does he look like? Does he look intimidating or welcoming? Is it easy to tell what Pokemon type he specializes in based on his appearance? Sander is a pretty important person, so Rem should probably notice what he looks like, giving you the opportunity to describe him.

    Also, there are some things about Rem's character you should be careful of. For instance, if he's with an important person like an Elite Four member, especially if he payed for Rem's flight, Rem comes off as very rude to him. Impatient makes sense - especially if he's worried about being away from his mother - but he seems a bit over the top. Also, be careful about trying to make Rem seem like a great guy. It looks like you just put in the homeless man abusing his Pokemon so you can make Rem go "look how bad these people are! I am so much better than them." A lot of writers do this, and it often just looks kind of forced.

    Your dialogue was pretty good, though. The way characters interacted and spoke was pretty realistic and sounded fairly natural, which is always good. That said, you did have some problems here with formatting and grammar, especially with dialogue. For instance, remember that every time a new person speaks, you start a new paragraph, which means hitting the Enter button twice so you skip one line. The exchange with the passerby needed to be separated into paragraphs, and sometimes you skipped two lines instead of one. It's also very important that you know how to use punctuation properly (commas, question marks and so on). Here are the basics:

        Spoiler:- Punctuation tips:


    Your story will look a lot better and easier to read once you have the basics of punctuation down, so be sure to follow this advice.


    You also need to work on your overall grammar. I'm not sure if your first language is English or not, but you need to know how to conjugate verbs. In your very first sentence
    The rails shook violently as the train enter the station. A robotic voice echo sharply through the station
    It should be "the train enters" and "A robotic voice echos. There are some other silly mistakes as well, such as using "sickle" instead of "sickly."

    You also tend to use commas instead of semicolons. Every time you write a sentence, ask yourself if the sentence can be split into two sentences with periods and if each sentence would still make sense. If the answer is yes, then use a semicolon to join them. For example:
    He had the face of someone that knew hardship, the sharp angles of his face made him look almost like a marble statue.
    The young man grimaced, he didn’t like introductions but this was important.
    In both sentences, you can make the comma into a period, and each half would still make sense. That means you can either use a period or a semicolon.



    Anyhow, this does look like a promising fic! Rem has an interesting story, and Sander's mysterious request have made me very curious to see what will happen! You are pretty good with description, though you have to remember to be consistent and describe more places and characters. Your dialogue itself is good, and will look even better once you polish up your punctuation.

    You're on the right path! Good work, and good luck!

    ~Psychic

    Pokéthon was a huge success! Check out our Facebook page for photos from the event!

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    Thanks for the review Psychic. It's always the grammer that kills me on here and the ACT lol. One reason some of my descriptions seem less adequate was because I thought I had already used too much space. I'll also be sure to give Sander a better description in my next chapter. As for Rem, his overbearing personality is one of my favorite features of his character but I can understand what you mean by it seeming forced. Hopefully I can tinker with him a little more so his character can become more fleshed out to the reader.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standard Luxury View Post
    Thanks for the review Psychic. It's always the grammer that kills me on here and the ACT lol. One reason some of my descriptions seem less adequate was because I thought I had already used too much space. I'll also be sure to give Sander a better description in my next chapter. As for Rem, his overbearing personality is one of my favorite features of his character but I can understand what you mean by it seeming forced. Hopefully I can tinker with him a little more so his character can become more fleshed out to the reader.
    You are most welcome, I hope it helped!

    Your chapter was very short - some people have chapters that are ten pages long, so don't worry about it being "too long." Besides, how long it is doesn't natter - what does matter is how well you tell a story. Adding description helps to better tell the story to the reader. It paints a picture in their mind of what everything looks like. That is also why you should add the description of Sander in Chapter One. Plus, people who are only just starting to read now will see his description in Chapter One, and that way they won't have to wait until Chapter Three wondering "uhhhhh, what does Sander look like anyway?" the entire time!

    The great thing about posting here is that you can go back and edit your chapters, which I would highly encourage you do! It won't take too long, and it will also make your story look better and more professional. People are more likely to read a story if they see it uses proper spelling and grammar - bad grammar turns people away, no matter how good the story is! So if you want to hook more readers, definitely go back and edit Chapter One and Two with my advice about grammar and description. How does that sound?

    ~Psychic

    Pokéthon was a huge success! Check out our Facebook page for photos from the event!

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    Sounds good, I'll be sure to do that.

  7. #7
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    This will be my last one most likely until next weekend. Enjoy.

    Rating: PG-15

    Start Two: Two Halves make a Whole

    “Five minutes and forty five seconds, that’s too sloppy”

    As Sander said this the loud hum of a passing train morphed the sound of his voice into a moaning echo, like the wail of a Misdreavus.

    It’s been three days since Sander and Rem have battled. Rem is now being trained at a gym Sander has established at West Town in Chicago.

    “If you can beat only 30 Pokémon in a row after 5 minutes, you’ll never be able to beat a gym leader”, Sander said apathetically. “Go again”

    “I’ve been at this for 5 hours, Cypher and I are exhausted”, Rem said. Rem’s Zoroark nodded in agreement.

    “Do I have to explain this again to you, Rem. If you don’t beat all eight gyms in the U.S League by summer then you won’t qualify until next year.”

    “That’s right, Rem, you’re this gym’s pride and hope”, said a deep but energetic voice.

    Rem turned to the direction the voice came from. A burly man with a checkered grey coat, a full beard, and small brown ping-ball eyes grinned joyfully at Rem.

    “It’s always a pleasure to see fresh talent aspire for the big leagues, especially when it comes from our gym”, the man said.

    “Oh, Mr. Lavender, I thought you were still on your expedition in Africa”, Sander said

    "That was trivial boy, just another hunt for undiscovered Pokémon. I’m always more interested in new talent”, Mr. Lavender said with extraordinary loudness.

    “Rem, this is-“, began Sander but he was cut off abruptly.

    “Baxter J. Lavender, proprietor of this fine gym”, said the energetic man.

    As the man said this he moved unusually close to Rem’s face. Rem, upon close inspection, notice the man was sprouting small grey hairs in his beard. His skin was a milky white with small black spots near his eyes and in the corner of his nose. He had a big round face, like that of a watermelon. His two front teeth were missing as he grinned at Rem.

    “As you know Rem, there are many gyms scattered throughout the world, but only eight gyms on each continent are recognized by the six Leagues as official establishments to obtain badges to enter the League with. Mr. Lavender here, owns all the gyms in West Town”, Sander said.

    “Yes but it was you, Sander, that established them in the first place. I just paid the bill”, chuckled Mr. Lavender.

    “I only helped get trainers interested”, said Sander while scratching his head shyly.
    “It would be great for West Town if one of our trainers were able to go to the U.S League”, Mr. Lavender said. “Perhaps, we may even become an official gym”, he chuckled.

    At this Rem grew angry, he had no desire to become this man’s trophy. All he wants is a way to get his mother a better life. “Well don’t count on it”, Rem said coldly. “Cypher, let’s go”

    “Rem, wait!” Sander said but Rem was already out the door.

    “Was it something I said?” Mr. Lavender implored.

    ******
    Rem and Cypher wandered the streets of West Town for some time. It was a small little place with old apartments and graffiti-painted walls. It was shortly after six and the town glowed an orangish-yellow as the sun began to set. The thick shadows cast by the falling sun made the town look as if it was born from the twilight. After walking for a while Rem came upon a Battle Square. It was a large circular area made for battling in cities usually with a red and white side split by a black dividing line with a white smaller circle in the middle. But this one was different, instead of a red and white side, both sides were all black. The dividing line and small circle was painted a golden yellow.

    “Alright folks here is the moment you been waiting for, the final match of the West Town Tourney!” said the announcer who was standing in the middle of the arena.

    “The winner receives the rare and coveted Luxury Ball, able to make any Pokémon caught instantly friendly! This tourney is sponsored by Subway, EAT FRESH!” yelled the announcer.

    “And without further ado, the challengers. On the left we have Demi Oliver, the squirt with moxie and on the right it’s none other than last year’s winner, Alec Baldwin, no relation to the actual actor!”

    “Challengers are you ready”, inquired the announcer. Both nodded.

    “BATTLE!”

    The young girl, who looked about twelve years old, quickly took out a Great Ball, pointed it toward the field, and pressed the center button. Emerging from it was a Meditite wearing a black sash around its tiny blue waist. The man named Alec Baldwin, who looked nothing like Alec Baldwin but was actually bald, brought out a Cherrim. This Cherrim was awkward looking compared to normal Cherrim because the color of the outside of the petals were blue instead of purple.

    “Kim, show the audience your beautiful face, Sunny Day”, said Baldwin

    A giant, glowing orange orb shot out from under the petals of the Cherrim. It sped high above the arena and began to slow down when it reached the center. It hovered above the arena like a miniature sun. Cherrim’s petals began to open slowly to reveal the face of a cute light- yellow creature with small amethyst eyes and two large circles near the tip of the head, so that it looked like barrettes holding the petals away from its face.

    “Now use Solarbeam, my lovely”, said Baldwin with creepy delight.

    Cherrim opened its mouth and a small green circle began to glow faintly. Suddenly it began to protrude out of Cherrim’s mouth as a gigantic beam, rocketing straight toward the young girl’s Meditite. It looked as if it hit Meditite’s body cleanly. A giant smoke cloud engulfed the young girl and her Pokémon.

    “Yes, one-hit KO”, Baldwin said ecstatically.
    “Just one hit and it’s all over folks? Is this the end for Demi?”, the announcer said.

    The smoke began to clear and the young girl stood there with her arms crossed. “Obviously not”, she said mockingly. The Meditite had disappeared from the girl’s side. The girl nodded upward to Baldwin. As Baldwin looked up his pupils became tiny dots and his face turned pale. Meditite was falling toward Cherrim, legs out, at blinding speed.

    “Oh, Demi’s Meditite used Detect to evade the attack and follows it up with a Hi-Jump Kick”, the announcer said excitedly.

    “Kim, dodge it!” Baldwin said frantically.

    “Too late”, the young girl interjected. And it was, before Cherrim could even bat an eyelash Meditite had slammed into Cherrim’s face heel first. Cherrim slammed into the cement with astounding force. Meditite leaped back toward its trainer. The audience could now see a motionless Cherrim laying in the debris.

    “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Demi Oliver!”

    The crowd roared to life, the sound encasing the whole Battle Square.

    “Good work, Rose. Return”, the girl said unmoved by the crowd. A beam of light shot from the Great Ball and engulfed Meditite. Meditite recede back into the Great Ball along with the bright light.

    Rem was impressed by the young girl’s strength and fortitude. Though he wouldn’t admit to anyone, she was much stronger than him when he was her age.

    “And here is your prize young lady, the awesome, luxurious Luxury Ball!”

    The girl took the ball with some delight, and held it up to the light. A short glimmer of amazement crept onto the girl’s face.

    “And that’s the end of that folks, hope you enjoyed the West Town Tourney and see you again next year!”
    The audience began to shuffle their way out of the bleachers surrounding the arena, the sound of the voices slowly began to die down. Rem began to make his way out after a good majority of the people had left. As he began to walk back toward the street, a voice called out to him.

    “Hey, I saw in you in the crowd with your Zoroark. I could tell by looking at you that you’re tough”, said the voice. Rem turned around to see a young girl with blazing jade green eyes. She was about half the height of Rem. She wore a red and green plaid coat over a pink t-shirt with a Jigglypuff on it. Her shoes looked like that of a school girl while her hair was a short and wavy brown. Her face shape was like that of cat. She had a string of freckles beneath the eyes but above the tip of the nose that ran across from eye to eye. Rem realized it was the girl from the battle.

    “What the f*** you staring at, pervert?” she said indignantly.

    Rem hadn’t realized he was staring blankly at the girl.

    “That’s some mouth you got there, kid. You run along home to your Mom before I tell her what you said”

    “What the hell do you know about my Mom? If you think I’m gonna let you walk after that you got another thing coming”

    “Let me walk? I’m not gonna fight you kid”, Rem said casually.

    “Stop calling me a kid, a**hole. I’ve been a full fledge adult since you were in elementary school. I’ve never had anyone taking care of me.”

    It was at that moment Rem understood. She was an orphan.

    “Look ki-, ….it was Demi right?” Rem said remembering the girl’s words.

    “Yeah”

    “Just tell me where you live or who’s taking care of you and I’ll take you there.”

    “What makes you think, I need you to take care of me”, Demi said

    “It just won’t be right to leave you alone, so please… let me take you home”, Rem said forcing politeness.

    “Fine… I live on the north edge of Humboldt Park, next to the Battle Square.”

    “Alright, let’s go then”, Rem said

    As Demi and Rem began to walk across the grass field next to the Battle Square, a man in a dark trench coat wearing a suit underneath looked on from across the street. He was talking into a cellphone.

    “I have a positive ID on him, it’s definitely Rem Agudelo”, the man said into the cellphone

    “Make sure he doesn’t come back to Lavender Gym”, the voice said with an eerie calm.

    “But isn’t he the one who killed Kane of the South Hydras”, the man said meekly into the phone.

    “That’s precisely why we can’t have him meddling in our town. The Four Hydreigeon Alliance must be kept intact. If HE was to hear Rem is in West Town, he would definitely find out about our backdoor deals. Is that understood?”

    “Yes, sir. Understood.”

    End Two
    Last edited by Standard Luxury; 22nd January 2013 at 4:34 PM.

  8. #8
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    Jan 2013
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    I got alot more free time than I expected so here the is next chapter early. As always I hope you enjoy.

    Rating:PG-16

    Start Three: Retaliation

    Demi’s eyes glittered in joy like a lost puppy returning home when they had reached their destination. “Ah, home sweet home”, Demi said as she began running toward a huge oak tree.

    As Rem approached the oak, he was surprised to see a large hollow hole at the center of the trunk. The hole invaded the whole base of the tree leaving only small wisps of bark at the edges. The hole formed into an almost perfect spherical shape leaving just enough room for someone of short stature to sleep in. A purple drape with a floral pattern was nailed into the bark above the hole. The drape was pulled aside, at the moment, so one could see inside the gaping hole. But what was an even greater sight to behold was what was situated inside the tree. A small rugged sleeping bag with plush, cotton stuffing seeping out at the end laid in the center of the little wooden room. Scattered across the floor were numerous canned perishables that have long passed their expiration date joined by a small heap of unfolded clothes that laid in the left back corner of the room. What was most peculiar about this hollow space was the amount of pictures. Everywhere you looked there were pictures and posters of Jigglypuff. A bright neon pink poster stood out among the rest with large white bubble letters that spelled out “I’m Sassy and I like it”, accompanied by a picture of a Jigglypuff with giant puffed up cheeks, an adorable frown, and its arms crossed tightly around it’s circular body.

    “So, I’m guessing you like Jigglypuff, huh”, Rem said with the upmost of sarcasm.

    “Like?” she said with a gasp.

    “Try adore, love, or enamored with”

    “Try obsessed”, Rem said haughtily

    “One day a Jigglypuff will be my partner and with this Luxury Ball that day is almost here”, Demi said with great excitement.

    “Huh”, Rem said not understanding the correlation between these two events.

    “Yesterday, I heard a news report on the radio about the discovery of a small population of Igglypuff just outside of the city. With this Luxury Ball I’m going to catch one then quickly evolve it into a Jigglypuff. The problem is that they’ve only been sighted once, since Igglypuff are known to wander randomly because of their plush, sweet, adorable bouncing bodies”, Demi said with a tender voice that was very uncharacteristic of her.

    But Rem was no longer listening to Demi’s hopes of grandeur, for he couldn’t help noticing a thick, unwavering fog had begun to materialize outside of the oak tree. The fog was so thick that he could no longer see the brilliant shine of the crescent moon.
    That’s strange, especially for such a cool winter night”, Rem thought.

    “Whoa, what’s up with the creepy fog?” Demi said abruptly.

    At that moment, both Rem and Demi began to feel light-headed. An incorrigible ringing resonated through their heads. It’s soon reached an unbearable pitch of discord that caused both trainers to physically grimace in pain. Cypher growled deeply, sensing the hostility of the fog.

    “My head feels like it’s gonna explode” Demi gasped

    Cypher’s eyes fiercely narrowed, fixating on an ominous pair of blue, effulgent eyes piercing through the dark fog.
    “Cypher, what is it?” Rem staggered to say.
    Rem looked toward the moon-lit eyes Cypher was glaring at. He was able to make out the faint outline of curvy body perched on the branch. It appeared to have glossy brown feathers with large talons protruding into the thick branch its feet grasped onto. The only other discernable feature was the reversed triangular pattern of black feathers that donned its brownish-grey stomach.
    “Is that a Noctowl? Then this must be a Confusion attack” Rem thought desperately.

    “AHHH! Rem do something”, Demi said before losing consciousness.

    “Cypher, shoot a Confuse Ray at those glowing eyes!”, Rem said hysterically.
    A circular light so dazzlingly bright -that it was almost impossible to look at- shot out of Cypher’s mouth toward the glaring bright eyes. A thud then a loud screech of terror could be heard from outside the hollow, oak tree. The unbearable ringing in Rem’s head began to subside.

    “S***! “A voice rang out from the mist.

    Rem and Cypher darted outside through the fog toward the enraged voice. As the fog began to clear from his vision, he saw a man in a jet black trench coat kicking an obviously confused and stressed Noctowl. Along by his side was the source of the impenetrable fog, a slender four-legged creature with fur even blacker than the man’s trench coat. Downward-curved horns sprang from opposite sides of its head which were joined by curved bones wrapped vertically around the top half of its torso. It was the Dark Pokémon, Houndoom.
    “Dammit, you’re useless Fury”, the man said with disdain at his Noctowl.The man’s Houndoom growled at their new visitor.

    “Oh crap, you found us already”, the man said with a ting of fear now in his voice.

    “Who the hell are you”, Rem replied with agitation. The man began to smile gingerly at Rem.

    "You pick the wrong town to visit, kid. If only you had just died in Cali, then I wouldn’t be in this mess”, the man said

    “You’re with the Hydras?”, Rem said with disbelief.

    “Of course not, but they are a valuable asset to us. One that he can’t afford to lose right now. So just do me a favor and die!”
    With this the man’s Houndoom lunged at Rem, its body now encased in an electrifying, fiery red. It crashed into Rem and Cypher with dazzling brutality. As the grey-black smoke from the impact dissipated, the man was shocked to see that the trainer and his Pokémon weren’t in the debris.
    “Looks like you fell for Cypher’s illusions, don’t worry it happens to the best of Pokemon”, Rem’s voice shouted from atop the tree branch the Noctowl was just on only moments ago. “I’d never walk straight into an area where I’d be vulnerable”, Rem snickered. “Let’ em have it Cypher, Dark Pulse” A pulsating, gigantic circle followed by a row of smaller circles, each one smaller than the previous, was expelled from Cypher's mouth and rushed toward the man and his Noctowl.

    “F***”, the man whispered.

    The beam of circles engulfed the man and Noctowl. The attack resulted in a bruised, unconscious man with his fallen Noctowl. Houndoom rushed to the side of his master and fallen compatriot. Rem grabbed tightly onto Cypher’s warm, cascading fur as the Pokémon leaped down from the tree. Rem approached the concerned Houndoom.

    “You should run away, he won’t bother you anymore”. The Houndoom looked with rage into Rem’s cold, unyielding hazel eyes. It wasn’t about to abandon his master.

    “Looks like I’m going to have to make you”, Rem sighed. The Houndoom clenched its teeth in anticipation for a fight.

    In a sudden instant, Houndoom’s eyes lost the energy of anger and its body slowly collapsed onto the short, dank grass. As it fell the image of an incredibly small, white and blue body came into focus along with a smug twelve year old girl. It was Demi and her Meditite.

    “That Cross Chop shut it up”, the girl with satisfied, gem-like green eyes said.

    Rem shook his head. “I had the situation under control, Demi.”

    “Yeah, well I made it done and over with.”

    Rem began to walk toward the unconscious man to ascertain his identity. He slid his hand up the frigid, small pocket of his coat. He pulled out a velvet, magenta wallet. The contents included a twenty dollar bill, mint gum, a picture of a young girl with brown hair and pigtails grinning joyfully at the camera so that her pink clunky braces could be seen, and of course a Driver’s License. The name on the license said Tom Cramler. “Damn it, there’s nothing of use here but based on what he said, he obviously had connections to the South Hydras”, Rem said angrily to no one in particular.

    “Hold the phone, Rem. This guy’s with the Mafia”, said a concerned Demi.

    “I don’t have time to explain everything to you!” Rem was beginning to panic. How could the South Hydras have followed him all the way to Chicago? His departure from California was in the middle of the night and his mom was now living in a secure place picked by Sander himself. Even if they had known he was in Chicago, they wouldn’t have expended this much effort to kill him, would they? Rem needed answers and the only place he could think to get them was back at the gym. Rem looked around the park. It had long been nighttime, the moon was shining a dull yellow and the park was in an eerie silence. The only sound was of the slightly creaky, blue swing that echoed through the park. The sound made Rem feel like time was against him. He felt that if he didn’t reach the gym by the time the swing stopped its menacing swaying all his answers would disappear too. Cypher looked at his partner with concerned, focused eyes. He knew exactly what his friend was thinking. The Zoroark nudge his smooth snout underneath Rem’s palm brushing against it tenderly. Rem looked into Cypher’s calm sky-blue eyes. He scratched the Zoroark’s snout returning his affection.

    “Your right Cypher, I can’t lose my wits right now”, Rem said with renewed focus.

    “I’m leaving now Demi, I need to head back to Lavender Gym”

    “Uh, you mean the Lavender Gym”, Demi said with hesitation.

    “Yeah, why”

    “You mean you don’t know”. Demi's voice went to a whisper.

    “What the hell are you talking about, kid”, Rem said with impatience.

    “Rem, that place is a hotbed for the Mafia. The owner is the ruthless leader of the Blue-Tailed Sevipers. He uses the gyms as cover for illegal Pokémon-enhancement drugs. I heard he even takes Pokémon Eggs and injects them with drugs to create genetic mutations that make them stronger. The guy is freakin’ monster.”

    “But... what about Sander! He runs the gym he should know about this”, Rem protested.

    “Sander is almost always away on work for the League or training somewhere, so he rarely visits the gyms. And anyone who trys to tell Sander about the gym's back-handed deals always ends up missing”, Demi said with genuine concern.

    And with Demi’s words, Rem began to sprint back to the Gym with Cypher following closely behind. He couldn’t believe that even here- where he was supposed to make a new start- that his past would catch up with him. Rem wasn’t about to become a dog of the Mafia ever again. When Rem reached the gym, he bolted through the doors and down the stairway to the training area. He was shocked to see Mr. Lavender, sitting casually on a wooden bench next to the training field, drinking tea.

    “Rem, I’m glad to see you’ve returned”, Mr. Lavender said benignly

    “Mr. Lavender…” Rem said suspiciously.

    “I may have come on a little too strongly before, boy. I just want what’s best for this gym, in fact for the whole town.”

    Mr. Lavender put down his oriental teacup and began to walk toward Rem. He put a soft, caring arm around Rem’s shoulder. “You know, Rem, I use to have son just about your age.” Rem remained silent.
    “He was the exact opposite of you though, kind and caring to everyone he met; even to his proclaimed enemies. I think he got that from his mother”. At the mention of the word mother, Mr. Lavender’s voice became very nostalgic and mellow. “She raised that boy right, in my absence too. The most remarkable woman I’ve ever met.” Mr. Lavender was now leading Rem, arm around his shoulder, to a snowy white door that would have been invisible to anyone not looking directly and very close to it.

    “When she died, my boy looked at me with eyes of sadness but also with a tinge of hatred. That was the only time I had ever seen him angry at anyone, let alone his own father. I knew he always blamed me for her death, not being there when she needed me or when the cancer began to siphon her life.” Mr. Lavender now stopped at the infinitesimal white door. He tapped the white plaster of the door and a panel was revealed at where the doorknob would have been. He typed into the panel a four digit code that Rem couldn’t make out.

    “He hated me, you know and I can’t blame him for it. Yet, God didn’t even want me to live with my own disgruntled son. So when that Sharpedo decided to rip my son apart, limb from limb, on our Caribbean vacation. I knew that there was no good to come of these vile creature we call our partners." At the word partner, Mr. Lavender spat vehemently. “They're nothing but monsters that we put in our pocket as if any other ordinary object.” The doors slid open to reveal the most gruesome sight Rem had ever seen.

    “That’s why I won’t stop till each and every one of these partners pay for what they really are, monsters!”

    The doors opened to a gigantic storage room dimly lit by a few light bulbs. The room was comprised of two levels. On the top level, the floor was a metal grating that encircle around the room so that there was an open space for one to look down at the bottom floor. A force of about 40 to 60 men stood on this floor looking below at Rem and Mr. Lavender. The ground floor had numerous cages filled with the sickliest and disfigured looking Pokémon, Rem had ever seen. Each Pokémon was connect to an IV tube that flowed from a giant vat of chemicals in the back part of the room. In the center of the room lied Sander, severely bruised by the eye and neck with cuts of oozing blood all along his body. On the side of his head, where the word “Elite” was cut into his hair, was a huge, bloody gash. The gash cut through the word “Elite”. His wrists and ankles were bind by thick, rugged rope. He sat in a fetal position on the barren dark concrete floor. He was breathing gingerly as if each breath was more painful than the last. Rem looked on speechless.

    “If you’re wondering how Sander ended up like this, it was by his own Pokémon, Rem.” Mr. Lavender said with enjoyment.

    “You, bast***…”, Rem said barely controlling his anger. Cypher growled with deep malice, his eyes uncontrollable fixed on Mr. Lavender.

    “No, its true Rem. They suddenly became vicious and disorderly. They maimed their own master who raised and cared for them for so long. Though, they did have a little bit of “tea” to drink from that vat over there”. The menace in Mr. Lavender’s eyes was undeniable.

    “Rem, forget me. This is beyond your reach”, said the weak and barely audible voice of Sander.

    Rem slowly began to laugh hysterically, not out of sadness or joy and neither from total helplessness. His laugh was filled with indescribable rage that could only manifest itself as laughter. Mr. Lavender smiled. “That’s what I like about you Rem, your unfathomable hatred. You and I are alike in that regard”.

    Rem’s laughter came to a bumbling halt. ”I’m not like you”, Rem said calmly.

    “Are you sure about, Rem”, Mr. Lavender hissed.

    “I’M NOTHING LIKE YOU”, Rem bellowed at the top of his lungs.

    At this Cypher lunged toward Mr. Lavender’s neck, his fangs glistening with the intent to kill. A gigantic monstrosity darted from the room with unbelievable speed, right between Mr. Lavender and Cypher. Cypher’s neck was caught in mid-air as it was lunging for Mr. Lavender. An enormous hand squeezed Cypher’s neck so tightly that he yelped in absolute fear, gasping for air. Cypher’s body flailed like a leaf caught in a tornado. What creature could hold such a terrifying grasp?

    Rem tilled his head far back to make out a bulging, veiny head with pupils as red as hellfire. Its arms were the size of a mini-van which constricted violently. Its expression was dull and stoic. The only way anyone could even still identify this creature was by the signature bulky, magenta nose. It was a behemoth, it was a Conkeldurr.

    End Three
    Last edited by Standard Luxury; 1st June 2013 at 6:58 PM.

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