Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Misty, The Mysterious Mermaid

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Eindhoven, The Netherlands
    Posts
    1,537

    Default Misty, The Mysterious Mermaid

    MISTY, THE MYSTERIOUS MERMAID


    http://marvelscalemilotic.deviantart...MAID-349735150

    This fic is on DeviantArt as well.
    http://marvelscalemilotic.deviantart...MAID-405770085

    Author: AquaMilotic
    Title: Misty, The Mysterious Mermaid
    Fandom: Pokemon
    Pairings: Pokeshipping (Ash x Misty)
    Status: Finished
    Rated: PG-13

    It was a warm summer morning when Misty Waterflower's stomach growled again. And unfortunately, there was no food left at the Cerulean City Gym. It was almost two weeks ago since her sisters went on a holiday to Goldenrod City for a month, taking all the money at the Gym with them. They didn't even torture Misty on purpose, they were just too thoughtless to even think about how she would have to survive the upcoming month.

    "Azurill, I'm so hungry..." she moaned, while sitting on her bed.

    "Azu zu zu!" the blue Pokemon said, offering its Trainer its last portion of Pokemon food.

    "Thank you for offering it, but Pokemon food isn't fit for humans... And you'll have to be careful with your food too, I don't have the money to buy extra food, and there's not much left... And I can't take a second job to earn some money, my sisters gave me a giant chore list at the Gym here, I don't have any free time which I could use to work..." she responded to her Pokemon.

    "Zu zu zu..." Azurill cried, knowing that its Trainer wasn't feeling well.

    "Azurill, I need to earn a lot of money all at once, so I can survive this month without having to take a part-time job..." the redhead said.

    "Azu!" the blue Pokemon shouted, while staring at a photo in the room. On that picture, Misty was wearing her mermaid outfit, and her former travelling partners Ash and Brock were on it as well.

    "Hey, that's a great idea! If we sell enough tickets for a mermaid show, I can buy enough food to survive this month!" she responded. "Thank you so much for the idea!"

    "Azu!" the blue Pokemon said.

    "But for a mermaid show, I'll need two actors too, a prince and a villain..." she thought.

    Then, the doorbell ranged. Even though standing up and walking to the door made her feel her hunger more than when sitting down, she opened the door, and saw a black-haired guy who was wearing a green shirt.

    "Hi Misty! I'm here to surprise Daisy with a date, could you please tell her she has a visitor?" he asked. It was Tracey Sketchit, another former travelling companion of her. Now, he was Professor Oak's assistant, and the boyfriend of one of her sisters.

    "Sorry, but Daisy isn't here, she's on a holiday with Lily and Violet, they'll return in about three weeks," Misty responded.

    "That's too bad..." the sad boy moaned. "Well, then I'll be going now! Bye!"

    However, then, he heard a growling sound. He looked at Misty's belly, which was revealed by her yellow top. He noticed that she looked very thin. "Misty, why are you so skinny? You didn't need to go on a diet, you never were fat!"

    "This isn't a diet, my sisters took all the money of the Gym with them on their stupid drinking and sex holiday, and I'm out of food, I haven't eaten for almost two weeks!" she said. "And what's even worse, is that I can't buy Pokemon food!" While talking, she burst out in tears.

    "Sorry, but I'm also out of food and money, so I can't help you, I'd get money and have dinner when I return at Oak's lab this evening..." he moaned. "However, I do have a lot of Pokemon food, two bags full of food, I won 'em on the radio! You can have them, you obviously need this more than I do!"

    "Thank you so much!" Misty shouted. "Is there anything I can do to thank you?"

    "Taking a part-time job, so you can buy some food, so you can be healthy," Tracey replied.

    "I don't have time for that, I already have a giant chore list at the Gym!" she snapped. "I can't possibly do more work, and I don't even have the energy for it! I'm exhausted!"

    "But then what will you do? If you keep on working so hard like this and don't eat anything, you'll die... When will you get your next salary from the Pokemon League organisation?" he asked.

    "The day when my sisters come back..." she cried.

    "And then how will you survive until your sisters come back?" he asked.

    "Well, thanks to Azurill, I got the idea to do a mermaid play, that'll earn a lot of money at once. But I can only do that if I'd have two actors to play the prince and the villain..." she said, while tears were flowing from her eyes.

    "Well, I could play a role, I'd be willing to do that. And you don't have to pay me anything, you need the money more than I do," Tracey offered.

    "Thank you!" Misty shouted. Then, she started to explain the story. "The mermaid lives happily underwater with her Pokemon. Then, a mean pirate and his evil Pokemon try to abduct her Dewgong. However, then the prince saves Dewgong, and together, they scare the pirate away. At the end, the mermaid and the prince will hug."

    "That sounds nice, I'll participate," he responded.

    "Here's your costume!" she said, while handing him a black pirate hat, a brown fake moustache, a red shirt and a black eyepatch.

    "Misty, I'm not sure if I'd be a good villain..." he complained.

    "Sorry Tracey, but I have another prince in mind..." she said with a dreamy face.

    "You're talking about Ash, isn't it?" Tracey asked. "I know you love him!"

    Misty wanted to deny everything, but her former travelling companion knew what was going on. "It's none of your business! I indeed wanted to call Ash, but my love life is none of your business!" she snapped. "I just think he could be a good prince!"

    "I know you love Ash, just admit it! Anyways, he's at Professor Oak's lab now, so you can call Professor Oak if you want to speak to him," he said. "Also, Misty, if I'm gonna do this play, can I stay here for the upcoming few days, to study my role?" he asked.

    "Yes, but then shut the f*ck up about me loving Ash!" she snapped. A few seconds later, she asked Tracey whether he was okay with not being able to eat, with a somewhat milder tone.

    "That's fine, I can do without food for a few days, and after what you're going through right now, I can't complain," he replied, while he came in. "But where do I sleep?"

    "Well, I suppose you could sleep in Daisy's room, she's your girlfriend..." Misty suggested.

    "That's okay, and I've been in that bed multiple times during the nights I've stayed here before," Tracey said, showing a naughty smile.

    "So you two went all the way, huh?" Misty asked, while Tracey noticed that his friend's stomach growled again. When looking at her skinny belly, he felt very sorry for her.

    "Yeah," he answered. "It's fun, you'll also experience that when you and Ash are older."

    "Tracey, please... Just stop it!" Misty begged.

    "Come on, just admit that you're totally in love with him!" Tracey teased, with a smile on his face. "It's nothing to be ashamed of!"

    And that caused Misty to freak out. Her face got red, she raised her right fist and hit Tracey on his face. "Now, are you gonna stop it?" she asked.

    "Okay, I'll stop..." he said, while still feeling some pain.

    "Oh, all right then, I'm going to put my backpack in Daisy's room," he said. "Then you can call Ash and have some privacy. Please tell Professor Oak I'll be here for the time being!"

    One minute later, she called him. At the same time, in Pallet Town, Professor Oak picked up the phone. "Hello Misty, I haven't spoken to you in quite a while!" he said.

    "Hi Professor! Tracey will stay here for the upcoming days, is that okay with you?" she asked.

    "Sure, is he going to help you at the Gym?" he asked.

    "Yes, he's going to help me with a play, so I can make some money and buy food," she said, while Professor Oak noticed her skinny belly, and after looking at her sleepy eyes, he noticed that she could fall asleep at any moment. "Tracey told me Ash is here. Could I please speak to him? It's really important!" Misty begged.

    "Of course!" the Professor replied. Then, he left the phone. "Ash, I've got a phonecall for you!"

    And so, Ash came to the phone. "Hello!"

    "Hi Ash, it's me, Misty. How are you?" she asked.

    "Fine, I'm relaxing at Pallet Town," he answered.

    "Ash, could you please come over to the Gym? It's really, really important!" she begged.

    "I'd love to, I want to see you again! But why?" he asked.

    "It's really important!" she shouted.

    "Oh well, I'll be there tomorrow around ten o'clock in the morning," he replied.

    "Thank you so much, bye!" she said.

    "Bye," he responded.

    Then, Tracey came downstairs. "And, is Ash gonna do it?"

    "Yes! He'll come over to the Gym, he'll arrive here tomorrow, then I'll tell him about the play," she answered. "Anyways, Tracey, I'm going to feed the Pokemon now, and then I'll do other chores until it's late in the evening. Enjoy yourselves, here are some books and magazines, and you can play with mine or your Pokemon."

    "You're gonna work for about ten hours in a row without eating and without a break? That isn't healthy, especially if you haven't eaten for so long," Tracey said. He was clearly worried about his friend's health. "Shall I help you with the chores?" he offered.

    "I don't want my chores to be your burden..." she said.

    "It's not a burden, and you need it, otherwise you'll still be working at night and not even sleep this night! And you're exhausted!" he said. "So what can I do?"

    "This is so nice of you! Well, how would you like to clean the pool while I feed the Pokemon? And then later, you can do some other chores when I'm going to get some new Cascade Badges. I'll be back in a few hours. Would that be okay with you?"

    "Of course, I would have no problem with that," he said. "It's a lot of work, but you clearly need some help!"

    "Thank you! Here's a list of today's chores," Misty said, while giving Tracey a piece of paper. Then, she gave Dewgong and Azurill some of the Pokemon food Tracey gave her.

    "Zu zu zu!" the blue Pokemon shouted, while jumping from joy.

    "Tracey, Azurill loves the food!" Misty said, while Dewgong also seemed to enjoy it.

    "That's no surprise to me!" Tracey replied, while being polite enough to not look while Misty took off her clothes, jumped in the water of the aquarium, fed the other Pokemon, dried herself up and put her clothes back on.

    "They all adore the food!" Misty shouted, while she walked out. "Well, I'll be off then! I'll take Corsola with me, it's always good to have at least one Pokemon with you." The pink Pokemon happily followed her Trainer when she walked out of the Gym.

    Then, Tracey looked at the chores for today: cleaning the battlefield/pool, vacuuming the entire Gym and practising the use of Sheer Cold with Dewgong. "Oh, why did I have to get sucked into this?" he thought.

    Twelve hours later, on two o'clock at night, Misty came home. She was incredibly tired, after having to work for hours to get new Badges. She carried her Corsola, who was sleeping in her arms. "Wow, the Gym is so clean! Tracey did his work very well, he's probably in bed now," she thought.

    And so, after brushing her teeth, Misty went to bed as well. Because she was too tired to put on her pyjamas, she took off her top, suspenders, shorts, socks and shoes and went to bed, still wearing her white, lace underwear: panties and a bra. Because she didn't want to wake Corsola up, she decided to keep the Pokemon with her in bed instead of putting her in the water of the Gym's aquarium. And so, they fell asleep very quickly.

    The next morning, Ash Ketchum stood in front of the door of the Cerulean City Gym. However, no one opened it. "Hello? Is anybody home?"

    Then, the door suddenly went open. Ash looked and saw a white Pokemon with a horn in the door opening. The Pokemon looked worried, Ash looked at his eyes.

    "Gong gong! Dew gong gong gong!" the Pokemon shouted, pointing to the stairway next to the Gym's battlefield with his fins.

    "What do you mean? Is there something wrong with Misty?" Ash asked.

    "Gong gong!" the Pokemon screamed, while nodding.

    Ash felt a shock going through his body. He ran upstairs. "Misty, where are you?"

    Then, he heard a Pokemon crying. "The sound is close to that door," he thought. He opened the white door, and saw a blue Pokemon crying. "Azu zu zu rill!"

    "Azurill, what's the matter?" Ash asked.

    "Pika Pika?" the yellow Pokemon on his shoulder asked. His Pikachu translated Ash's question in Pokemon-speak.

    "Zu!" the Pokemon cried, while looking at the bed in the room. Misty Waterflower lay on that bed, covered by a blanket and with her eyes closed. Next to her was her Corsola, who looked worried.

    "What? She's just asleep, is that why her Dewgong was so worried and why Azurill was crying?" Ash thought. And so, he decided to pull the blanket away from Misty. "Misty, it's time to wake up!" he shouted.

    "I'm not asleep..." she murmured. She felt miserable, while her stomach made a growling sound.

    "Then why are you still in bed? And why are you in your underwear?" he asked.

    "I'm too tired to get out of my bed..." she said softly. "Because of the giant chore list my sisters gave me, I had to work until two o'clock at night... And if Tracey wouldn't have helped me, I would still be working now..."

    "Tracey? Where is he?" Ash asked.

    "He's staying here for the time being, I'll explain why later..." Misty answered.

    Then, Ash noticed a snoring sound. "I think he's still asleep!"

    "Yeah, I hear it too," Misty responded.

    "And why are you so skinny? That's not very healthy..." he asked, while looking at her thin belly.

    "I haven't had food for almost two weeks! My sisters are on a holiday and took all the money with them, and I'm out of food..." she explained, while her stomach made that sound again. "I'm gonna die if I don't eat anything very soon!"

    "Well, we can do something about that!" Ash shouted. He took a sandwich out of his bag and gave it to Misty, and saw her eating it. In a few seconds, it was gone.

    "Do you want more food?" he offered, holding another sandwich and a bag of crisps.

    "Yes, thank you so much, Ash!" she said. In less than a minute, the sandwich was gone and the bag of crisps was opened.

    "Ash, you saved my life! Is there anything I can do to thank you?" she asked.

    "Telling me why I had to come here!" Ash replied.

    While eating the crisps, Misty explained why she asked him to come over. "Well, as you know, I'm out of food and I'm out of money. But because of my giant chore list, I don't have time to take a part-time job. Because of that, I want to do a mermaid show at this Gym. If even half of the tickets would get sold, it would be enough to buy enough food to survive this month and even gain some weight, so I can have a healthy weight again. But I can't do it alone, I need two actors who can play the prince and the villain. Tracey already agreed to participate."

    "What role will Tracey have?" he asked. He felt uncomfortable with the idea of anyone else than himself being the prince in a romantic play with Misty, even though he didn't understand why.

    "At first, he said he'd be a bad villain, so he wanted to play the prince..." she explained.

    And that shocked Ash. "Why would he be the prince?" he thought. "I'd be a way cooler prince!" He didn't feel comfortable with the idea of Tracey playing the prince in a romantic play with Misty, but he didn't understand why.

    "...But I told Tracey he'd have to play the villain, because I want you to be the prince. And that's why I called you: would you like to play the prince?" Misty asked.

    Ash sighed. He felt relieved Misty didn't want Tracey to be the prince. And he felt very happy Misty asked him this, even though he wasn't into acting. What was that strange feeling he felt? He felt this every time he thought about Misty when he was on his travels, and felt like this all the time when he was with her on his journeys through Kanto, the Orange Islands and Johto. But he didn't understand what he felt. "Of course!" he said, with a big blush on his face.

    "Thank you so much, Ash! And thank you for the food, this gives me the power to get out of my bed, put on clean underwear, take a shower and put on my clothes. Could you please give me some privacy? Then I'll come downstairs in twenty minutes, then I'll explain the script of the play to you, and then we can rehearse and do the play tomorrow," she suggested.

    "Okay, then I'll wake Tracey up in the meantime. Where is he now?" he asked.

    "He's in Daisy's room, which is on the right, next to mine," she answered.

    Fifteen minutes later, after taking a shower, brushing her teeth and putting on her clothes, Misty came downstairs, where Tracey, Pikachu and Ash were already waiting for her.

    "And, what's for breakfast?" Ash asked.

    "I don't have any food..." Misty muttered, looking annoyed.

    "Oh yeah, I forgot. Then I'll give you two a sandwich and eat one myself," Ash said, offering both Misty and Tracey one, while Misty fed Ash's Pikachu and her own Pokemon some Pokemon food.

    After breakfast, Misty explained the storyline to Ash. "Well, as I told you, Tracey will be the villain, he'll be an evil pirate. And you'll be the cool prince. I'll be the mermaid. This is the storyline: I'll swim underwater, carefree and happy. But then, Tracey and his evil Marill will try to abduct Dewgong, to sell him on the black market and make money. However, then you will save Dewgong, and a Water Pokemon of yours and my Dewgong will defeat the pirate together. In the end, we're going to hug, giving the play a romantic end."

    "Misty, don't the prince and mermaid kiss in the real story?" Ash asked.

    "Yes, but I thought you wouldn't want that," she said. "And I don't want that either," she added, knowing that that wasn't true, which was evidenced by her big blush.

    "Misty, just admit that you really do want that!" Tracey shouted. This time, she decided to ignore him, she knew Tracey wouldn't stop.

    And so, Misty announced a press conference. One hour later, journalists arrived at the Cerulean City Gym. After testing the microphone in the press room, she told both local and national media about the play that would be held tomorrow. When journalists asked her why she was so skinny, she refused to answer, in an attempt to not make her sisters look bad.

    After the press conference, she left the Gym's press room and went back to Ash and Tracey, who were waiting for her. "Ash, do you have a Water Pokemon with you for the play?" she asked.

    "Yes, I have Totodile with me and he can be my Pokemon in the play," he replied.

    "That's nice," Misty said. "Shall we rehearse right away, guys? You don't need to know any lines literally, you two both know the storyline, that's good enough to do this play well enough."

    "That's good, I was already afraid I'd have to study my lines for the rest of the day!" Ash responded.

    "What a relief," Tracey sighed.

    And so, Tracey went to the bathroom to put on his pirate costume. He wore red trousers, a red shirt, a black eyepatch and a brown fake moustache. His Marill was sitting on his left shoulder, also wearing a black patch covering one eye.

    When Tracey was back in the room with the water, he saw that Misty already wore the mermaid tail of her costume, that she didn't wear her shell bra yet, and that Ash was staring at her bare breasts, while she didn't notice it.

    "Um... Misty... Ash is staring at your chest," Tracey said, causing Ash to blush heavily, while the boys expected Misty to get furious about this.

    However, she surprised Ash and Tracey by calmly saying "So what?"

    "Aren't you mad about it?" Ash asked, while still having a major blush on his face.

    "No, I can't blame you for liking my beauty!" she giggled.

    "Ash, this is your chance to say you love her," Tracey whispered in Ash's ear. The Trainer from Pallet Town decided to ignored Professor Oak's assistant.

    "Eh... I was just curious what a girl's chest looks like, it's not love!" Ash shouted. However, he did feel something, but what did he feel? He wasn't able to figure out what exactly attracted him to her. Was it her chest? No, it was definitely more than that.

    When the three of them had their costumes on, Misty released Corsola, Dewgong and Horsea from their Poke Balls, they went in the water for the rehearsal. Azurill joined them as well, while Ash's Totodile jumped in the water, together with Tracey's Marill.

    And the rehearsal went well. However, at the end of the first practice, the prince and the mermaid had to hug.

    "No Ash, hold my hand, don't put your hands on my shoulders!" the mermaid snapped.

    "Sorry, but this is also the first time I'm doing this," the mad prince replied.

    "Well, you'll have to do better than this tomorrow!" she yelled.

    "Okay, let's try the hug again," Ash said. This time, he and Misty held hands. Then, they put their hands on each other's waist, and Misty pressed her head against his chest. After the hug, both of them blushed. It felt right, they really enjoyed it.

    "Wow, Ash, you did the hug right this time! That's awesome!" she complimented.

    "Thank you!" he replied. "And I don't know why, but this felt so great!"

    "Ash, Misty, maybe this is the right moment for you two to tell each other how you feel," Tracey suggested again, while watching the hug practising. And then, Misty was sick of it. She came out of the pool in which the play took place and delivered Tracey a harsh slap in the face.

    "Misty, what the hell? Was that really necessary?" Tracey snapped,

    "Sorry, but you let me no other choice! I'm sick of it! Stop saying Ash and I love each other!" she snapped.

    "Misty, I know how this works. I'm older than you two, I'm in a relationship with Daisy, and I know how love works. And often, ten year old kids like you two deny it when they have feelings for someone," Tracey explained.

    "I would NEVER like an immature jerk like him!" she snapped.

    "What's that saying again, the one Danny told us when we were on Navel Island?" Tracey asked. "Oh yeah, I remember! You always hurt the one you love!" he teased.

    "Stop it, Tracey!" she shouted.

    "Oh no, there we go again..." Ash moaned.

    "Shall we just ignore his love comments? We can't make this guy stop..." Misty suggested.

    "Yeah," he replied.

    The rest of the afternoon, the three young actors kept rehearsing. They did well. "We're ready to do this play tomorrow!" Misty said.

    The next day, Tracey went away from the counter while a long line of people was waiting in front of the Cerulean Gym. When seeing Misty and Ash dressed up, he said "I sold all the tickets, so we'll earn a crapload of money with this! There are even still people outside who are disappointed that we sold out!"

    "That's awesome, Tracey!" Misty said. "Thank you so much!"

    "Now get in your pirate costume while Misty enters the water!" Ash said.

    And so, Misty stood on the diving board, with her Azurill, Corsola, Dewgong and Horsea standing behind her, all ready to jump in the water. When Ash's Pikachu, who was the spotlight technician today, made the spotlight shine on her, the audience went crazy. Some people whistled because she looked very attractive, others just enjoyed her beauty and cuteness. Others in the audience looked worried, noticing her thin belly. She took a megaphone and spoke to the audience. "Welcome to our one-hour lasting water show, 'Misty, The Mysterious Mermaid'. Thank you all so much for coming! Please enjoy yourselves during our show." Then, she jumped in the water, soon to be followed by the Pokemon.

    And so, the play started. While Ash and Tracey sat in a dug-out on the side of the water until they were needed, Misty was swimming elegantly, followed by the blue baby, the pink coral Pokemon, the white sea lion and the blue seahorse.

    Then, the mysterious mermaid started talking to her trusty pal Dewgong. "Dewgong, have you ever seen prince Ash? You know, that prince who lives in the tower close to the shore?"

    "Dew!" the Pokemon replied, nodding.

    "He's so sweet and attractive, I think I love him, but I don't know how to tell him. Would he be interested in a mermaid who could never walk on the land?" she asked.

    "Dew dew dew gong gong gong!" the white sea lion snapped, telling the mermaid that he was sure the prince would be attracted to her.

    "Thank you for your support, Dewgong! But how shall I tell him?" Misty asked.

    "Corsola!" the coral Pokemon replied.

    "Horsea!" the seahorse added.

    "Zu zu! Azu zu zurill," the blue baby Pokemon said.

    Then, she saw a brown, wooden ship that wasn't moving. The mermaid and her Dewgong swam upstairs, to look what was happening.

    Meanwhile, on the ship, a black-haired man with a brown moustache who was wearing red trousers, a red shirt, an eyepatch that covered his right eye and a big, black pirate hat was talking to his Marill, who also wore an eyepatch. "Marill, my research revealed that a mermaid lives here with four Pokemon, including an incredibly strong Dewgong. Do you know what we're gonna do, matey?" he asked.

    "Marill Mar!" his partner in crime replied.

    "Indeed, we're gonna take that Dewgong away from her and sell it for a lot of money!" Tracey said.

    Then, he noticed the mermaid and her Dewgong. "Well, if it isn't the mysterious mermaid and her Dewgong! Sorry, but that Dewgong belongs to me now!" he shouted, showing an evil smile. "Marill, go underwater and use Double-Edge, and try to make Dewgong land on this ship!"

    And unfortunately, the blue Pokemon with the eyepatch succeeded. He dove underwater, and didn't give Dewgong a chance to evade: he quickly tackled the white Pokemon, hitting the sea lion so hard that he landed on the pirate ship. And there stood Tracey, the evil pirate who quickly tied Dewgong up to a pole on his ship. "That Dewgong is mine now!" the pirate shouted.

    Then, the mermaid, the pirate and the Pokemon heard a loud voice. They heard someone shouting "not as long as I'm alive!" And then, from the tower close to the shore, a heroic-looking young man jumped on the ship out of nowhere, soon to be followed by his Totodile.

    "Prince Ash, help me! Tracey the pirate is trying to abduct my friend Dewgong!" the frightened mermaid shouted.

    "Totodile, ruin that rope with your Bite!" the prince commanded.

    "Dile!" the crocodile Pokemon shouted. Then, he bit through the rope, freeing Dewgong. That caused him to start dancing, while the white sea lion immediately jumped in the water, swimming to Misty.

    "Dew gong gong gong!" the Pokemon shouted, while stroking his head against Misty's belly.

    "Thank you, prince Ash!" the mermaid shouted.

    "Let's defeat him together, use your Dewgong!" the prince suggested.

    "Sure," the mermaid replied.

    "Totodile, defeat that Marill by using Bite!" the prince shouted. The crocodile opened his beak, ran at the blue Pokemon and bit in its tail, causing the Marill to collapse.

    "Pirate Tracey, your Marill looks cool, but he certainly isn't very strong!" the mermaid teased. Then, she looked at her white Pokemon. "Dewgong, now hit them with Aurora Beam!" she shouted. A colourful beam hit the pirate, causing him to flee.

    "I'm glad we scared him away, thank you so much!" the mermaid said to the prince of her dreams, while showing a heavy blush. "I don't want to blush, no one should know I love Ash!" she thought, but she was unable to control what happened.

    "You're welcome!" the prince shouted. He stood on the shore at first, but then, he walked into the water, which wasn't very deep at the part where the prince stood. The mermaid and the prince held hands, both showing a lovestruck expression. After that, they put their arms around each other's waist for a hug. And it felt good, both Ash and Misty had a warm, good feeling inside. While she put her head on the prince's chest, the mermaid saw his lips, moved her head upwards and moved her mouth to his mouth. Even though it wasn't planned at all, they put their lips on each other's lips and kissed.
    Last edited by AquaMilotic; 7th October 2013 at 7:10 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    550

    Default

    I loved this story! I found the build-up to the ending believable, and the exchanges were quite funny, too.

    ~marioluigifan05

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Eindhoven, The Netherlands
    Posts
    1,537

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marioluigifan05 View Post
    I loved this story! I found the build-up to the ending believable, and the exchanges were quite funny, too.

    ~marioluigifan05
    Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! What did you like most about it? And do you have any criticism?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    396

    Default

    I loved this it is so cute <3
    I am not very good at writing but if I had to say something, it would be that you put a little too much into the dialog, I guess what I mean is that you need to put a little more effort into describing the surroundings, it not only gives you a better picture on what is going on but it can also add a lot more emotion to the scene as apposed to it being dominated by dialog.

    .: 3DS FC: 0490-5034-9209 :.
    .: DeviantART :: Graphics Thread :: Art Thread :: Art Shop :.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Eindhoven, The Netherlands
    Posts
    1,537

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Blood Red Absol View Post
    I loved this it is so cute <3
    I am not very good at writing but if I had to say something, it would be that you put a little too much into the dialog, I guess what I mean is that you need to put a little more effort into describing the surroundings, it not only gives you a better picture on what is going on but it can also add a lot more emotion to the scene as apposed to it being dominated by dialog.
    Well, you're right, I indeed have too much dialogue and not enough description of the surroundings. Sure, everyone can imagine what the Cerulean Gym looks like, but still... Especially during the play.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Kanto
    Posts
    88

    Default

    a good pokeshipping fic. its been a long time since i'Ve read a pokeshipping fic. AAML will never be forgotten.
    “We do have a lot in common.
    The same air, the same Earth, the same
    sky.
    Maybe if we started looking at
    what's the same instead of
    always looking at what's different,
    ...well, who knows?”
    ― Meowth

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Eindhoven, The Netherlands
    Posts
    1,537

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sandy ketchum View Post
    a good pokeshipping fic. its been a long time since i'Ve read a pokeshipping fic. AAML will never be forgotten.
    Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Do you have any criticism about this fic? Are there any things you specifically liked about this fic?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,099

    Default

    I think The Waterflower Sisters need a few lessons in money managing. I really liked this one shot and it's inspired me to write my own pokeshipping one shot at some point.


    ☆ Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer
    Carry On, BlisseyThe Other King☆
    Advancers Tumblr
    Banner by Sworn Metalhead at Dćdric Design ✠

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Eindhoven, The Netherlands
    Posts
    1,537

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChloboShoka View Post
    I think The Waterflower Sisters need a few lessons in money managing.
    Well, I'd say they need to learn to be less thoughtless and less selfish (if they'd be less selfish, they would've thought about Misty and would've never left her without food and money).

    I really liked this one shot and it's inspired me to write my own pokeshipping one shot at some point.
    Thank you! That's so nice to hear!

    Do you have any criticism for this oneshot? What things about it did you like specifically? I'd be very happy to hear your answers to those questions, that's what could help me as a writer.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •