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Thread: ▲ The Legend of Zelda Club! ▲

  1. #251
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cometstarlight View Post
    Well there's also that Tetraforce theory. That and the fact that Termina is held in an alternate universe to Hyrule could lead that the there is a tetraforce as apposed to just a triforce. Of course if you want to go into that you could also argue that the Ancient Terminians hated the Triforce and desecrated it with their statues to the Tower. And that the Ancient Terminians could have also been the Twili that came over to take the power of Hyrule for themselves or so much other stuff XD I need to write out my thoughts in a word document before pouring it all out here in a brain dump
    Lol wat?

    I've heard of the Tetraforce theory, but I have no idea what you just said. :3

    Quote Originally Posted by Darenix View Post
    There are a lot more Zelda comics like that Excuuuuuuse me one.
    http://www.omo-cat.com/tagged/zelda

    Semi-new topic, does anybody have any LoZ merchandise, official or otherwise?
    I myself have my eyes on a Tri-Force lamp on etsy.
    Haha, nice comics. Though one of those really got me curious... how do the Gerudo make babies with only one male born every 100 years? ...I don't even wanna know!

    Other than the games, I have some Triforce earrings and a Toon Link plushie. /)^3^(\
    I also have a Triforce live wallpaper on my Tablet.
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  2. #252
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    In anticipation for Wind Waker HD, I've been playing some more Wind Waker. I've been the game a bunch of times in the past, but have restarted. on one file, I'm on the second playthrough and have to collect the 8 Triforce Charts and gather the Triforce Shards. I have 2 Triforce Charts. I'm almost done, but this is the most annoying part in the game. I also have a second file where I restarted and am at Dragon Roost Isle. Focusing on the file I'm almost done with first. My brother has the third file btw. Furthermore, I'm up to Ganon's Castle on my Master Quest playthrough on Ocarina of Time 3D. Almost done.
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  3. #253
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow XD001 View Post
    In anticipation for Wind Waker HD, I've been playing some more Wind Waker. I've been the game a bunch of times in the past, but have restarted. on one file, I'm on the second playthrough and have to collect the 8 Triforce Charts and gather the Triforce Shards. I have 2 Triforce Charts. I'm almost done, but this is the most annoying part in the game. I also have a second file where I restarted and am at Dragon Roost Isle. Focusing on the file I'm almost done with first. My brother has the third file btw. Furthermore, I'm up to Ganon's Castle on my Master Quest playthrough on Ocarina of Time 3D. Almost done.
    Yeah, I've been playing WW a lot recently. It's my favorite Zelda game, actually favorite game in general, and it's new remake looks incredible, not that the original wasn't gorgeous already. The thing I loved most about it was the atmosphere it gave off. The music, the characters, the settings, the story, everything just made me get an incredible feeling while playing this game.

    ...Uhhhhhh... I wonder what ReDeads look like in HD. Hopefully not too scary, I wet myself on the original.

    -

    I was just looking at some screenshots from the game and I took a peek at the comments... looks like Wind Waker is going controversial again. Lots of people are saying the game looks more realistic, but realism doesn't suit WW. Some prefer the new updated version look (though opinions might change when it's released), some prefer the cartoony cel-shaded art style of the old game.

    I'm a bit in the middle really. The new game looks stunning but HD and cel-shading don't really mix, but I believe Nintendo can pull it off.

    Also, sort of new topic:

    -Name your favorite boss from each game you've played and why you like it/him/her

    Ocarina - Bongo Bongo - It's not the fight that's so interesting with this one, it's his personality. I find it weirdly amusing that when you enter the boss chamber, he's just banging the drums (hence the name Bongo Bongo) and because of the impact of his severed hands on the drum, Link is just jumping up and down.
    Majora - Goht - I like skill based boss battles. Instead of the usual "use sword, sheild, dungeon item, etc.", you have to knock into him as a Goron while he runs around and tries to attack you. This is overall very fun.
    Wind Waker - Helmaroc King - I had an anxiety attack trying to get away from him in the first phrase where you had to get up to the roof because the room was flooding, but the second phrase is much better. I think he's quite a simple boss, but the main reason I liked the fight was because I like smashing things in the face of the ending. The way all the lights just shine on him as he explodes... duuuuuuude. This one was very close between Gohma and Ganondorf, because Gohma sucked in Ocarina but she looked so epic in this game and everyone knows I love the Master Sword to the forehead for Ganondorf.
    Four Swords - That dude in the Sea of Trees - He was the easiest and least tedious one to beat >.>
    The Minish Cap - Gleerok - I don't usually do this in Zelda games but I was excited for every boss fight in this game. All apart from the Big Green Chu and the Gyrog pair were incredibly fun for me. But I have to go with Gleerok with this one because the Cane of Pacci was the most fun item (along with Roc's Cape, Mole Mitts, Gust Jar, Bow and Arrows, Bombs, the lantern, sword, the "embarrassing ting sheild", empty bottles, I'm just naming every item from the game here) for me.
    Twilight Princess - Blizzeta - Bet you were expecting me to say Stallord because he's skill based like Goht, weren't you? No, I like Blizzeta better... because of her Exorcist moment and "NOT TAKE MIRROR!"
    Skyward Sword - Koloktos - The most fun boss in the game. SS sucked when it came to bosses, it started good with Ghirahim, and then got easier until Koloktos came around. I've said before that this dungeon was creepy for one particular reason but I loved Koloktos just cuz he was fun.
    Last edited by Skytorn; 30th March 2013 at 9:39 PM.
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  4. #254
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poke's4Ever View Post
    Haha, nice comics. Though one of those really got me curious... how do the Gerudo make babies with only one male born every 100 years? ...I don't even wanna know!
    Make sure you check the next page. The button is small and pretty much hidden in the bottom left corner of the page.

  5. #255
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    Quote Originally Posted by Firesoul View Post
    Username: Firesoul
    What is your favourite Zelda Game:I cant choose between Twilight princess and Ocarina of time 3d...
    What made you become a Zelda Lover: After playing ocarina of time i fell in love with the game and looked up other games.
    Name 3 characters who processes the Triforce: Beautiful Zelda, Adventurous link and old,stinky and mean ganodorf
    Hey! You're accepted! Welcome to the club, join in on our conversations (:

    Quote Originally Posted by Darenix View Post
    There are a lot more Zelda comics like that Excuuuuuuse me one.
    http://www.omo-cat.com/tagged/zelda

    Semi-new topic, does anybody have any LoZ merchandise, official or otherwise?
    I myself have my eyes on a Tri-Force lamp on etsy.
    I wish I had any Legend of Zelda merchandise, I just have the games and a few screensavers on my laptop of the game. But thats just all, xD

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    -Name your favorite boss from each game you've played and why you like it/him/her

    - Twilight Princess; BLIZZETA, I dunno whats so awesome about getting a chainball and hitting it around, but its an awesome battle. But right before the battle where that lady looked into the mirror and then was hypnotised by it was pretty.. scary >_>

    - Skyward Sword; Koloktos, mainly because he was the boss I was stuck on for a while but I finally knew what I was doing afterwards. Its really awesome how you can carry his bigass sword and cut through his arms... pretty awesome!

    Eh, Im buying Phantom Hourglass....... soon, that'll be my third Legend of Zelda game that I would play.


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  6. #256
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darenix View Post
    Make sure you check the next page. The button is small and pretty much hidden in the bottom left corner of the page.
    Already did earlier.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffyy View Post

    -Name your favorite boss from each game you've played and why you like it/him/her

    - Twilight Princess; BLIZZETA, I dunno whats so awesome about getting a chainball and hitting it around, but its an awesome battle. But right before the battle where that lady looked into the mirror and then was hypnotised by it was pretty.. scary >_>

    - Skyward Sword; Koloktos, mainly because he was the boss I was stuck on for a while but I finally knew what I was doing afterwards. Its really awesome how you can carry his bigass sword and cut through his arms... pretty awesome!

    Eh, Im buying Phantom Hourglass....... soon, that'll be my third Legend of Zelda game that I would play.
    Looks like you and me have the same opinions about the best boss in TP and SS.

    Also about PH, lucky! I'm saving up to get Ocarina 3D on Wednesday, and if I don't have enough I'm looking for a another Zelda game.

    I had PH around 4 years ago and I played it a bit but I didn't know that WW existed and was so confused by the story.... and I was a total pussy for running away from Red Chus...

    So on Wed, my main focus is OoT but if it's too expensive I'm going on a scavenger hunt for either PH or ST. I need a new DS game...

    Also, since it's nearly midnight and it's Easter Sunday tomorrow...

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  7. #257
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poke's4Ever View Post


    -Name your favorite boss from each game you've played and why you like it/him/her
    OoT-Well all of them were frickin amazing but if I have to pick it would either be Twinrova or Ganondorf. Twinrova was just such a fun boss fight and Ganondorfs was just so dramatic which I liked.

    Majoras Mask-I also liked Goht it was a very different battle really broke the normal but my favorite was Odolwa. It was a very straight forward fight but Odolwa was just a super interesting boss.

    Wind Waker- The Helmaroc King for me. When I was going through the game the first time I knew you would fight him eventually I was looking forward to it the whole time lol

    Twilight Princess-The dragon...I forget what his name was. The one from the sky dungeon aha.

    SS-Whatever the final boss was...Demise? I dunno whatever his name is haha. Like Ganondorf it was very dramatic and I liked the enviroment a lot.
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    Omfg...



    LOL!

    BTW, I went to the LOZ Symphony concert in NYC if that counts as merchandise... I have a series of posters and a Nintendo Power exclusive.

    More later. GTG now

    I dont celebrate it but Happy Easter!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Chapter of Charizard View Post
    Omfg...



    LOL!
    OMG how mean!!!
    I have created a new word for the internet LOLE it means laugh out loud evily, if you think it is a good word copy and paste this into your sig. and use it. (started by woot21)

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    Lol to the picture above. That was the exact same impression I got from that cutscene. "Hey Link! Everything you know is a lie! Now go save the world!"

    What is your favorite boss from every zelda game you've played?: This will be kinda long since I've played all but one of the zelda games.
    Zelda 1 - Manhandla - I don't know why, but I just love this boss. 2nd place goes to Aquamentus.
    Zelda 2 - Rebonack - I love using the Down Thrust in this game. And the entire first phase of this fight is perfect for the use of the Down Thrust. Enough said. 2nd place goes to Thunderbird.
    A Link to the Past - Helmasaur King - This boss is fun yet somewhat challenging. 2nd place goes to the Lanmolas
    Link's Awakening - Slime Eel - This boss is simply awesome. It's sorta like a guessing game at one point too. 2nd place goes to Nightmare.
    Orcarina of Time - Twinrova - Mirror Shield gets its awesome animation. 2nd place goes to Barinade.
    Majora's Mask - Goht - I love to roll around and this boss lets you roll around even more! Oh and I like how its skilled base. 2nd place goes to Majora.
    Oracle of Ages - Head Thwomp - Its a 2D sidescroller boss with the same mechanics as the goron statue from OoT. Whats not to like? 2nd place goes to Ramrock.
    Oracle of Seasons - Medlock (AKA Medusa Head) - This is the only original normal boss fight in the game. 2nd place goes to Manhandla.
    Four Swords - Derazoru - The snail guy from Talus cave is fun if you're playing the Anniversary Edition since two new phases are added to his fight after you get the Gold Ice Key. 2nd goes to Vaati.
    Wind Waker - Molgera - I love the fight as well as the music. 2nd goes to the Helmeroc King.
    Minish Cap - Gyorg Pair - I love the fight because it is challenging. 2nd goes to Mazaal.
    Twilight Princess - Stallord - Fight itself combined with the theme makes for an awesome battle. 2nd place goes to Blizzeta.
    Phantom Hourglass - Eox - The entire reason I ever replay the game is to fight this boss. It combines jumping and hammering to create an awesome combo. Not to mention its hard! 2nd goes to Gleeok.
    Spirit Tracks - Cragma - MINE CARTS AND ARROWS! 2nd goes to Frazz.
    Skyward Sword - Koloktos - If you liked stealing other enemies weapons in WW, then you'll LOVE this boss. By far the best boss in Zelda. 2nd goes to Bilocyte.

    I also encourage those who can to try out the Oracle games. I heard remakes of them were released for the 3DS Virtual Console in Japan, so they may be coming elsewhere soon!
    Last edited by JFought; 31st March 2013 at 8:36 AM.
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    -Name your favorite boss from each game you've played and why you like it/him/her

    Ocarina of time- The witches-There had two forms. Weridly emough I figured the solution to this fight on the toilet.
    SS-Demise-Awesome sword fighting
    LA DX- Nightmare-The combination of the bosses were cool and it had the only appearance of Ganon
    MC-Green Chu Chu - A weak enemy now a boss. Awesome.
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  12. #262
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chapter of Charizard View Post
    Omfg...



    LOL!

    BTW, I went to the LOZ Symphony concert in NYC if that counts as merchandise... I have a series of posters and a Nintendo Power exclusive.

    More later. GTG now

    I dont celebrate it but Happy Easter!
    *Snicker* I read that one yesterday morning. To have the Deku Tree Sprout tell him that and inside the Temple of Time, have Rauru tell him he's Hylian, he's been asleep for 7 years and he has to stop Ganondorf, I felt so sorry for him because it's a lot to take in.

    Quote Originally Posted by JFought View Post
    Minish Cap - Gyorg Pair - I love the fight because it is challenging. 2nd goes to Mazaal.
    You and me have the exact opposite opinions about this boss... >.>
    Last edited by Skytorn; 1st April 2013 at 3:42 AM.
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    Boss topic:

    OoT: I have two. Ganondorf (Human form), and Volvagia. Both were very original battle ideas and OoT Ganon really introduced and secured the "Magic Deflect with Sword" idea.
    WW: Gohdan. Just epic. Creative design (shut up, Bongo Bongo!) and fun to destroy.
    MM: Gyorg, Twinmold, and Majora's Mask (including Mask form, Incarnation form, and Wrath form).
    OoT 3D: I know it's strange. "They're the same game, bla bla blah," but I like Volvagia in this game. It was much more swift moving and looked great.
    TP: Stallord, clearly. Innovative weapon/tool to defeat him, and there's even a round two.
    SS: Scaldera, because it's unlike any other boss. It also got plenty of spotlight in Nintendo Power.
    LA DX: Genie and Nightmare. Genie is word but fun, and Nightmare is sick and mentions Ganon.

    EDIT: Omfg... That article is scary!


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  14. #264
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    New topics!:

    -Have you read the manga books and if so, which one is your favorite?

    I've read the Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Th Minish Cap and Phantom Hourglass manga books and I loved them all. But the Wind Waker manga really stands out to me because it's more humor based than the others. It was really funny and I loved how stupid Link was xD

    -Have you noticed the crap in Zelda that have passed the radar? What is your top 10?

    I think at least one person may find the question confusing so I'll explain. The "crap" I'm referring to is like little hidden messages, most of the time adult humor or sexual innuendos. Surely you've noticed one in the series and if you've noticed more, please make a top 10 (or how many you've seen) on these. If it's still confusing hopefully my top 10 may clear things up.

    10. Great Fairies

    Ah, partial nudity. Here lies the line between artistic choice and horndog fodder. It’s not quite certain whether the kind folks at Nintendo were inspired by the beauty of nature and wished to glorify the beauty of the feminine form or whether they wanted an excuse to create a shamelessly unclothed young lady for the young male fans to gawk at. Arguably, they failed in both objectives. The Great Fairies is hardly the signature of feminine beauty and grace, and their attitude, as well as their quite suggestive dress, is not exactly what you’d call “classy feminine.” The Great Fairies of ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask wear vines and flowers as their only attire, and they are certainly not afraid to flaunt their femininity.

    I, being the card-carrying pervert I am, do not typically object to female nudity, however, I understand where the ‘line’ must be drawn. I understand that the Nintendo 64′s graphical abilities are limited, but did the animators HAVE to design Great Faries in a way that makes them look like they went to the greatest lengths possible to squeeze every attractive feature out of the female figure in favor of something capable of making even the most DESPERATE of men wretch in disgust? If you’re going to strip someone down, at least make them easier to look at. It doesn’t help that the Great Faries have a rather ‘unique’ high pitched laugh that classifies easily, in TV Tropes terms, as high-octane nightmare fuel, and the fact that throughout most of their dialogue, it sounds like they’re flirting with Link (you must remember, half of the game, Link is 10 years old). There’s a reason I avoided getting Nayru’s Love on my first playthrough of OoT, and it wasn’t because it was in an out-of-the-way location…

    There is a fine line between ‘beautiful, assertive feminine character’ and ‘glorified drag queen.’ Nintendo’s lovely character designers bounded far past the realm of female beauty and landed in the zone of horrifying transvestism. The result of this misthrow? Terrifying, disturbing, dream-stealing ‘women,’ sharp with polygons and ripe with horror. But let me go a bit further. The Great Fairies of Ocarina of Time reside in the most pristine, most sacred fountains in all of Hyrule. Would you not expect them to be pure, demure, and naturally beautiful? Instead, what do we as fans receive? Four obscene laughs and four faces caked with enough makeup to keep
    a drag show in business for a full year. Hardly natural beauty.

    9. Alcoholic Milk

    Now, there are PLENTY of things in Majora’s Mask that probably don’t belong in an E rated game, and here’s one of them: Alcoholic Milk. Anyone who’s paid a visit to the Milk Bar in Clock Town late at night has probably met up with Gorman, the raging alcoholic. He’s often found there, drinking himself into oblivion and causing a general ruckus until the wee hours of the morning. Oh, and by the way, that’s not liquor he’s drinking; it’s milk. Somehow, Termina’s milk has a large amount of alcoholic content in it, causing anyone who downs more than a glass or two to get utterly and completely wasted (and yet the game remains E rated). That’s awfully questionable, if I do say so myself.

    Yeah, sure, I’m ok with Gorman getting drunk. Personally, I couldn’t care less about what Gorman does. What I’M concerned about is where on EARTH this alcoholic milk came from… As far as we know, Romani Ranch is the only supplier of Milk in Termina, meaning that the cows of Romani Ranch must produce the alcoholic milk Gorman’s getting tipsy on. While there are NUMEROUS biological flaws with this theory, you’ve gotta admit, it’d produce a pretty awesome slogan: “Alcoholic milk comes from alcoholic cows. Alcoholic cows come from Romani Ranch”.

    Milk bars aren't exactly an uncommon occurrence in video games and anime. The big difference that comes into play here is the fact that this milk has a certain signature buzz to it. My theory is not so much that the cows themselves are raging alcoholics (for fear of animal abuse claims). Consider this scenario for a second… Mr. Barten felt business in his Milk Bar slowing down. Falling into a deep depression, the downtrodden bartender took too quick a swig of his questionably-filled flask. In a moment of accidental epiphany, the flask emptied its alcoholic contents into a jar of Romani Milk. Desperate, Mr. Barten took a tentative sip of the now alcoholic milk. With a face that read “Jackpot!”, he decided to market the new ‘recipe’ to the public. As you might think, the Milk Bar saw a jump in business and popularity. It just goes to show that alcohol is always the answer! (Disclaimer: Don’t drink, kids.)

    8. Nabooru's "reward"

    This entry to my list is based entirely on what I think is an incredibly obvious (though probably accidental) innuendo. If you enter the Spirit Temple as a child and speak to Nabooru (as part of OoT’s main quest), she’ll ask you to explore the temple for her, and if you bring her back the thing she’s looking for, she’ll “give you something special”. Now, while this wouldn’t cause any suspicions at the time she says it, in the future, when you’re an adult, she says “If I’d known you would have grown up to look this good, I would have kept my promise.” If that didn’t cause a big “waitaminute” from you, I don’t know WHAT will.

    Nabooru always struck me as a bit of a loose woman, however, she never really looked all that much like a pedophile, at least, until I read this quote. I really HOPE this whole thing was all an accident, as if it isn’t, it means that not only did Nintendo make a reference to sex, but to pedophilia as well. Sure, I understand Nabooru would probably get very lonely, being stuck at that temple for so long, but hitting on a 10 year old? That’s wrong on quite a few levels. I mean, there are plenty of 14 year olds out there that would be MUCH happier if she hit on them instead…”

    >_>

    <_<

    It’s no secret that the Hero of Time is quite popular with the ladies. And for good reason – that sharp, carrot nose is absolutely irresistible. However, Nabooru’s promise to Link takes a step a bit into far into the realm of uncomfortable. (Much like that creepy uncle who insists on giving you the eyebrows at every family reunion.) We estimate Nabooru’s age to be well above the eighteen-year mark, judging by her, *ahem*, figure. She makes her innocuous-sounding promise when Link is well below the eighteen-year mark. Given that Gossip Stone that reads, ‘They say that Gerudos sometimes come to Hyrule Castle Town to look for boyfriends,’ everything seems to fall into place. Young Link is just the object of a Gerudo cougar’s Hylian fantasy. This proves that the laws in Hyrule are a bit too lax when it comes to age of consent and child molestation.

    7. Rock Humper

    If you’re familiar with Ocarina of Time’s ‘Kokiri Forest’ (or adamwestslapdog’s abridged series), you probably know all about this one. There’s a particular Kokiri who’s trying to move a rock out in front of Mido(another Kokiri)’s house. However, the particular animation Nintendo decided to use for this event looks rather… Suggestive. By that, I mean it looks like the Kokiri is humping the rock he’s trying to lift up… How Nintendo missed this one when the game was in production is beyond me.

    I’m not going to judge this Kokiri, here, I mean, to each their own, right? However, I WILL judge Nintendo. What were you thinking, animators? I’d think that, with you being pervy Japanese people and all, you’d have noticed this!… Then again, maybe the reason they refused to fix it was because… They animated it that way on purpose… What kind of perverted animators does Nintendo EMPLOY, anyway? Whoever they are, they have my respect for getting THIS whopper past the radar.

    Not everyone in Hyrule is as big a stud as the Hero of Time. And when needs aren’t met, the young fellows of the Kokiri Forest have to take drastic measures. The poor Rock Humper is a perfect example of this growing phenomenon. Let’s delve further into the poor desperate fool’s situation: he’s got an entire harem of rock women to bend to his will (that is, until Link picks them all up to find the rupees hidden within. Let’s play ‘Find the Hidden Prostitution Analogy.’), and he insists on fulfilling his fantasies in public. What does this tell us? Not only does the poor fellow have to satisfy his biological needs, he also has to please his two raunchy fetishes. So, as the sympathetic (and possibly empathetic in this case) fan I know you are, please do not laugh at the Rock Humper. Feel his pain, and maybe drop him a call.

    6. Poe Trader

    There’s nothing quite like receiving suggestive compliments from reclusive hermits to give you that warm, fuzzy feeling (or chill down your spine if you’re not fond of molestation). In Ocarina of Time, the future presents us with a dark figure who offers Link a deal – retrieve the Big Poe souls and you’ll be given a reward. Starting off this disturbed conversation on a fitting foot, the Poe Trader compliments Link’s commendable bravery and stunning appearance, and later utters the infamous line, “If I looked as good as you, I could run a different kind of business… heh he heh…” Perhaps Link should think twice before helping this guy with a favor, if you catch my drift.

    Interestingly enough, the guard who maintained this post in the past had an interest in ghosts. As it turns out, he developed new, more lustful interests over Link’s seven year sabbatical. Life’s tough out there in a world governed by a powerful force of evil, but is selling yourself really the answer? Our sources say yes – imagine how much men and women would pay to have a night alone with the hero of Hyrule. After all, Link has to pay for potions, heart pieces, lost shields, lost tunics (Perhaps the Like-Likes would like to spend a night with Link, too… heh he heh…). It’s a lot for an unemployed volunteer hero. If Link did decide to throw in the towel and open such a service, I can think of at least five potential customers right off the bat who have been waiting for a piece of our hero since they first laid eyes on him. And yes, if you’re wondering, I did include the Poe Trader himself in that count.

    And you thought hentai was created by sexually repressed Japanese men. Not so, as a matter of fact, all of the Zelda porn you can find on the internet (and yes, unfortunately, you can find lots) comes from THIS GUY RIGHT HERE. Well, him, and teenagers on Deviantart, but I digress. I’d like to say that we’re reading too far into this, but think about that line for a second. Is there any OTHER way it could be interpreted? The Poe Trader wanting to be a Male Model? That’s not exactly something you chuckle darkly about… Besides, name the last time you saw a Hylian catwalk… Then again, the same argument could be made for a Hylian porno magazine, but… The quote still stands.

    5. Cremia's "hug"

    Romani Ranch, Clock Town’s main supplier of milk products, is often subject to cutthroats and thieves when transporting its goods to Termina’s central city. Considering how the goods are transported by a solitary traveler in a covered wagon, it’s not surprising why. Our hero, Link, one day decided to help out Cremia, the ranch owner, with the milk delivery, by riding in the back of the covered wagon and defending it from the generally unscrupulous fellows who’d want to steal from it. Upon making a successful delivery, Cremia decides to thank Link in a way that some would call… suggestive (and that’s putting it lightly). Yes, she shoves her breasts straight into Link’s 10 year old face. “You could get used to this”? Darn right, I could…

    I must say, when I first saw this cutscene, I wasn’t entirely sure what I was looking at. I thought to myself “was this a result of Nintendo programming a half-baked hug animation?”, but then I thought, “it couldn’t be, Nintendo doesn’t do things halfway; at least, not with one of their most popular properties”. This led to a dramatic chain of thoughts that eventually led me to believe that Nintendo had done this on purpose. Yes, looking at the sheer amount of hentai coming out of Japan daily, this probably shouldn’t surprise us, but come ON. Sure, I like having cleavage shoved in my face as much as the girl, but putting this into an E rated game? I can’t believe it really happened… “They may be after my cargo of milk bottles” indeed….

    Perhaps ‘hug’ doesn’t begin to cover what occurred between our young hero and Cremia. Link skidded right past first base and landed himself firmly on second plate, with an older woman no less. Considering how much of a stud the Hero of Time was back in Hyrule, this doesn’t catch me by surprise at all. However, it makes me wonder what the rest of Cremia’s reward system entails. This speculation is supplemented by this lovely quote from Cremia herself, ‘You should come back when you’re older!’ But the innuendo doesn’t stop there. (And I haven’t even touched upon the whole ‘milk’ metaphor.) I’ll leave you with an interesting quote from Cremia when Link fails to protect the milk delivery: ‘Thanks for trying tonight…’

    4. "I'd probably tap that"

    The Nintendo DS’s touch screen capabilities opened an extraordinary amount of doors to accidental innuendo. Luckily for us, the writers of our beloved Zelda series are either blissfully ignorant or highly depraved. Spirit Tracks, the second Zelda title for the Nintendo DS, capitalized on this goldmine of implications like a champ. With gems from Princess Zelda like “Link! Tap meeee!” and “Tap me if you want to get back on the train,” it’s a wonder our heroic duo got anything done.

    Those quotes are nothing less than pure fodder for the ZeLink movement. Think about it for a minute. Link and Zelda are traveling on a train through the most rural areas of New Hyrule, alone for the majority of the trip. Things will go down, if you’re following my train of thought. Take into account the fact that Zelda has no corporeal figure, and things get strange and mind-boggling quickly. It’s not like phantom fetishes are out of place in the world of Zelda (Must I remind you of the Poe Trader?), but consider one last thing. Chancellor Cole and Byrne remove Zelda’s spirit from her body near the beginning of Spirit Tracks. Cole and Byrne have Zelda’s body to themselves, and Zelda’s spirit is hanging around with Link with strong tones of ZeLink. I ask you, readers: does this count as a disturbed web of a foursome?

    While I think of this entry a certain VG Cats quote comes to mind. She’s like 10, you twisted person! That’s fricking mind raping (and let’s hope to god ONLY mind)! However, can I please debunk this beyond warped theory with some real-world logic of my own right now? Link, as he appears in Spirit Tracks, has a high-pitched child’s voice. If my understanding of biology is correct, this would insinuate that he wouldn’t have the… Erm, ‘desire’ to do the suggested ‘tapping’ of Zelda. That, and the fact that Zelda, in her spirit form, is impossible to touch. As for what Cole and Byrne are doing with Zelda’s body, well… Let’s just hope that Lokomos and Imps aren’t attracted to Hylian women… For my sanity and yours. Of course, Zelda’s body was intended to become a vessel for Malladus, so you’d ASSUME that… Doing that would be somewhat disrespectful.

    3. ReDeads

    Face it. The first time you encountered a ReDead in your Zelda-playing career, you had one of two reactions: startled surprise or paralyzing violation. And rightfully so. The ReDead does not waste any time with pesky foreplay or consension. This monster has a job to do and darn it if it isn’t going to cut right to the chase. ReDeads latch onto our poor child hero and suck the innocence – I mean, life right out of him, with simply delectable sound effects. As if that ear-shattering, pants-wetting shriek wasn’t enough to force Link into therapy, the Re-Dead is not done quite yet. In Nintendo’s version of double date rape (so intense!), this beast can attack Link again just seconds after he shakes it off. Perhaps to ReDeads, “no” does mean yes.

    ReDeads hide in dark, dismal, low-population areas hoping to get some action with little boys who have the misfortune of crossing their path. Remind you of anything? All they need is a black, window-less van and white spraypaint, and they’re set for a ten-year prison sentence. Unlike other human beings with a sense of self-preservation, Link travels to these areas without fear and with naivete. You’d think by the fifth time he got jumped by a half-decayed, groping zombie, he would learn to stay away from tombs and public squares. I suppose this is just what separates the heroes from the sane.

    To quote Zelda Abridger, adamwestslapdog, “He didn’t have a penis, so technically, he didn’t stick anything anywhere, but it was the fact that he was trying that frightened me.” I couldn’t agree with this sentiment more. Thanks to the anime-anatomy Nintendo granted ReDeads, any implied forms of ‘rape’ by the way they attack you are nullified, being reduced to simple violent molestation. However, the fact that ReDeads TRY, despite them lacking any form of sexual organ, is disturbing in its own right. It’s as if the instinct is so deeply engraved in the consciousness of these beasts that they feel as if they MUST do it, even though they might be completely missing the point. Sort of funny, if you think of ReDeads as former-humans. They spend their entire lives looking for sex, why should they stop after dying?

    2. Agitha's bug fetish

    Let it be known that in the Zelda universe, no age is too young to be emotionally disturbed. At the tender age of 10, Agitha lives by herself in her home in Hyrule Castle Town. That alone could be a cause for concern, but true to form, Nintendo takes it up a step into uncomfortable territory. You see, Agitha is a special kind of little girl. She asks Link to collect the rarest bugs in all of Hyrule to invite them to the insect ball. Innocent and even cute, right? Wrong. Agitha may be young, but the words that come out of her mouth when she speaks of her bug friends… well, let’s just say they bring new meaning to the phrase “creepy-crawly.”

    Let me introduce three quotes to bring this to a new level: ‘Li’l stag beetle, li’l stag beetle, your spiky pinchers are so sharp! They must feel so good…’ and ‘Li’l snail, li’l snail, just once I’d like to take a bath in that slime.’ and, lastly, ‘Li’l dragonfly, li’l dragonfly, when you look at me with those great big eyes, I…’ All three of these speak for themselves. Nintendo’s character designers and writers outdo themselves once again. In fact, look at Agitha’s design once again and take notice of her umbrella. Notice anything out of the ordinary? That’s right, a ring of spikes adorn the bottom pole. This only serves to bring her disturbed character together.

    Somehow, after thinking about this for far too long, I start to regret bringing Agitha all of those bugs… I mean, what does she plan on DOING with them? Sure, she mentions about bringing them to a ‘ball’, but… Hmmm… A ball…



    ….

    …..

    Oh.

    1. Prostitutes in Zelda II

    Yes, the dramatic #1 spot goes to one of the most heinous suggestions in the Zelda series: in Zelda II, Link’s health is apparently restored by prostitutes. Sure, no explicit scenes are shown, but the fact that the women who restore Link’s health are practitioners in the sex-trade is gratuitously hinted at, especially with some of the dialogue the women say before inviting you into their ‘houses’. The massive lapse in radar-usage to get THIS into a Nintendo game lands it in our #1 spot.

    It was inevitable that we included this on the list somewhere, but I actually spent some time deciding whether or not it deserved our number 1 spot. After thinking it over, however, it felt wrong NOT to place it here, as it is probably the best example of Nintendo suggesting something that REALLY shouldn’t be in a kid’s game. Grand Theft Auto ain’t got NOTHING on this. Ironic that they heal you, though, because typically, using prostitutes would be hazardous to your health… They’re not exactly ‘clean’, if you catch my meaning. The scary thing about the whole prostitution question, however, is the fact that the old women who restore Link’s magic energy also invite Link into their houses… For presumably the same purpose. That ups this from eyebrow-raising to just plain creepy. I wonder how Princess Zelda feels about all this…

    Even a hero needs a little relaxation and release every so often. And when the hearts are running low and hopes are running dry, a hero also needs a little *ahem* release. There seems to be a theme among Zelda games: the girls of Hyrule and Termina will throw themselves at Link, ignorant of legality and morality. It makes us wonder what happened to the moral compass of Hyrule over the years. Perhaps after evil takeover after evil takeover, the social integrity of the land grew weaker and weaker until anarchy and lawlessness reigned. With hope dwindling and morals slipping, the world fell into a state of despair and apathy. Murder became commonplace, base lust became expected, and the virtues of the past became scorned. Or, maybe, the ladies of Hyrule realized just how cool it would sound to say, ‘I was alone with the Hero for a night.’

    -

    That post was a b*tch to write.

    The thread seems dead once again so how about I liven things up a bit with another new topic?

    In the Zelda series, has anything mentally scared you for life?

    It could be a surprise buttsecks heart attack you've had at anything or something that just made you feel absaloutely terrified.

    For me it would have to be the Bottom of the Well and the Shadow Temple.
    It says in OoT, a house who belonged to a man who could see the truth once stands where the well is. Nice to know that man had various torture equipment and monsters that still live in his basement.
    And for the Shadow Temple, the facts that both these places have the same mini-boss (the dreaded Dead Hand) and the same scaring music... yeesh.
    Last edited by Skytorn; 2nd April 2013 at 12:49 AM.
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  15. #265
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    Username: FrozenPhoenix96

    What is your favourite Zelda Game: I like all the games a lot, don't know which one the most. XD

    What made you become a Zelda Lover: I don't know, I play the games since I was a little boy, and still play it, and likes it a lot, lol.

    Name 3 characters who processes the Triforce: Me, and me and me. Zelda (wisdom), Link (courage), Ganondorf (power).

    Hello, people, I just joined, lol.


    EDIT:
    Little mention, there's a game that's not listed in the game list at the first post of this thread...
    Legend of Zelda Wii U.
    Not the Wind Waker remake, that one is listed, that's good.
    But I mean the one that they are busy with too.
    This one: http://www.zeldadungeon.net/wiki/Zelda_Wii_U
    The one with the spider pictures/screenshots and stuff.
    Last edited by FrozenPhoenix96; 2nd April 2013 at 4:05 PM.
    3DS FC: 4656-6673-5632.

  16. #266
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poke's4Ever View Post
    -Have you read the manga books and if so, which one is your favorite?
    Yes. I read Majoras Mask And Ocarina of Time. They were both good I guess. I liked Majoras Mask more. But I will be honest I was not a fan of the art style for either aha. I also liked that like was kind of stupid lol

    Quote Originally Posted by Poke's4Ever View Post
    -Have you noticed the crap in Zelda that have passed the radar? What is your top 10?
    I guess. But I dunno. To me it is not that they "pass the radar" its more like other countrys seem to be like...way less leniant I guess with some things than Japan is aha..like when you talk about the Great Fairy like ehh its not a big deal I think aha. But I know places like the USA and England and etc just dont like that kind of stuff if their kids might see it lol. But I dunno that kind of stuff is just not a big deal in Japan haha

    Quote Originally Posted by Poke's4Ever View Post
    In the Zelda series, has anything mentally scared you for life?
    The first time I saw ReDeads it freaked me out like hell I was terrified one of them would like try to kill me in my sleep for like the next five years aha (irrational fear FTW)
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  17. #267
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    Quote Originally Posted by FrozenPhoenix96 View Post
    Username: FrozenPhoenix96

    What is your favourite Zelda Game: I like all the games a lot, don't know which one the most. XD

    What made you become a Zelda Lover: I don't know, I play the games since I was a little boy, and still play it, and likes it a lot, lol.

    Name 3 characters who processes the Triforce: Me, and me and me. Zelda (wisdom), Link (courage), Ganondorf (power).

    Hello, people, I just joined, lol.


    EDIT:
    Little mention, there's a game that's not listed in the game list at the first post of this thread...
    Legend of Zelda Wii U.
    Not the Wind Waker remake, that one is listed, that's good.
    But I mean the one that they are busy with too.
    This one: http://www.zeldadungeon.net/wiki/Zelda_Wii_U
    The one with the spider pictures/screenshots and stuff.
    Hey! You're accepted! Lool, and I'll add that to the list aswell, thanks!


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  18. #268
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    HOORAY! Got Phantom Hourglass today! So much fun! :3
    ...BLAAZ, Y U SO EASY!?

    Quote Originally Posted by tokyo/seven View Post
    Yes. I read Majoras Mask And Ocarina of Time. They were both good I guess. I liked Majoras Mask more. But I will be honest I was not a fan of the art style for either aha. I also liked that like was kind of stupid lol

    I guess. But I dunno. To me it is not that they "pass the radar" its more like other countrys seem to be like...way less leniant I guess with some things than Japan is aha..like when you talk about the Great Fairy like ehh its not a big deal I think aha. But I know places like the USA and England and etc just dont like that kind of stuff if their kids might see it lol. But I dunno that kind of stuff is just not a big deal in Japan haha

    The first time I saw ReDeads it freaked me out like hell I was terrified one of them would like try to kill me in my sleep for like the next five years aha (irrational fear FTW)
    I've read all of them. Ocarina, Majora, Wind Waker, The Minish Cap, Phantom Hourglass. I think Wikipedia mentioned something about ALttP manga but I'm not that interested in the older games.

    Yeah, guess you're right. Like I said, Japan makes a lot of 18+ sh*t, most Japanese people might not think much of it.

    Speaking of ReDeads, I read the most horrifying fanfic about them. I could try and find it for you, if you wanna wet yourself.
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  19. #269
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffyy View Post
    Hey! You're accepted! Lool, and I'll add that to the list aswell, thanks!
    Thanks, and you're welcome.
    3DS FC: 4656-6673-5632.

  20. #270
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    HOORAY! Got Phantom Hourglass today! So much fun! :3
    Awesome! Trust me the game won't dissapoint you, ESPECIALLY after the 4th boss.

    Which Zelda Kangaroo (I mean Manga, its just that this autocorrect is hilarious XD) is you favorite.: I read only the Mangas by Akira Himekawa, and I LOVE the Four Swords Part 1 Manga.

    Any innapropriate stuff seen in Zelda games?: Majora's gender is seriously debatable, because in the Majora's Wrath phase of the fight the sadistic god has breasts, a high pitched voice, and the texture of the boss shows female sex organs. I swear that game should've been rated M.

    In Zelda games, has anything mentally scarred you for life?: Rereads are scary and all, but I can't remember HOW many times I almost had a heart attack because of a Phantom. In PH they are bad enough, but in ST they scare the heck out of me. I mean I remember one time when I was getting that tear of light in the 4th section of the Tower of Spirits thats guarded by about 3 Phantom Eyes. I got caught by the first one and ended up running through a whip course, grabbing the tear, and running to the nearest safe zone all while being chased by a Warp Phantom and 4 Phantom Eyes. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then sorry I can only explain the area as a dead end hall with a whip course, a large pit, and 3 Phantom Eyes.

    Nintendo! Giving kids nightmares since Kirby's Dreamland 3! (I'm so putting this in my Signature)
    Three most annoying things:

    1. Metal Mario
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  21. #271
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    Quote Originally Posted by JFought View Post
    Awesome! Trust me the game won't dissapoint you, ESPECIALLY after the 4th boss.

    Which Zelda Kangaroo (I mean Manga, its just that this autocorrect is hilarious XD) is you favorite.: I read only the Mangas by Akira Himekawa, and I LOVE the Four Swords Part 1 Manga.

    Any innapropriate stuff seen in Zelda games?: Majora's gender is seriously debatable, because in the Majora's Wrath phase of the fight the sadistic god has breasts, a high pitched voice, and the texture of the boss shows female sex organs. I swear that game should've been rated M.

    In Zelda games, has anything mentally scarred you for life?: Rereads are scary and all, but I can't remember HOW many times I almost had a heart attack because of a Phantom. In PH they are bad enough, but in ST they scare the heck out of me. I mean I remember one time when I was getting that tear of light in the 4th section of the Tower of Spirits thats guarded by about 3 Phantom Eyes. I got caught by the first one and ended up running through a whip course, grabbing the tear, and running to the nearest safe zone all while being chased by a Warp Phantom and 4 Phantom Eyes. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then sorry I can only explain the area as a dead end hall with a whip course, a large pit, and 3 Phantom Eyes.

    Nintendo! Giving kids nightmares since Kirby's Dreamland 3! (I'm so putting this in my Signature)
    Yeah, I'm having so much fun on it already. I'm about to enter the 2nd temple.

    A FS manga? I must read! Especially since there's 4 Link's... heh he heh...

    I was wondering what gender Majora was. I agree with you, I could see all of those things when I was MW the first time, as for the voice... that scream! Also, after doing some reasearch, I think the Legend of Zelda is in need of a new female villain. There's only been one confirmed woman antagonist: Veran from Oracle of Ages. There's actually more if you count some of the girl bosses such as Gohma (and any of her incarnations), Twinrova, and the transformed like Blizzeta and Phantom Zelda. But those are only the bosses, Veran is an actual villain.

    Gosh I sh*t myself playing PH yesterday because of the Phantoms. It was only my second visit but I got caught twice. As for Spirit Tracks, I don't find those as intimidating, despite never playing the game (though I weeeeellly want to). Mainly because Zelda can posses them but I can try and compare ST to PH everytime a Phantom spots you.
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  22. #272
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    Yeah, there's a FS manga.
    Two volumes of them.
    Part 1 and part 2.
    I joined a giveaway, to win all the mangas, the whole set, worth $70 (american money), I'm at Europe though, but the giveaway is worldwide.
    Can't link you guys, because it will be advertising then, lol.
    3DS FC: 4656-6673-5632.

  23. #273
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    joining this club now. ^^


    Username: Auaria~
    What is your favourite Zelda Game: Majora's Mask! it was my first LoZ game, plus I love the moon; it's so creepy (but badass). :3 and you get to play as Young Link the entire time... I prefer Young Link to adult Link. :/
    What made you become a Zelda Lover: well, the gameplay is really nice in all the games I've played, and the music is nice... and they're fun games. ._.
    Name 3 characters who processes the Triforce: easy- Zelda, Link, and Ganon


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  24. #274
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    Accepted.

    -OMFG SORRY EVERYONE BEEN INACTIVE ;-;

    -Frozen what's up! XD

    ~

    Read all the manga, re-reading Four Swords right now (strange that you mention it XD) My favorite was and is Majora's Mask. The Manga makes it look even more epic+ I love the OoT bonus story with Skull Kid and Link and Saria.

    Another game that was missed on the original post: Link's Crossbow Training (LOL)


    Claimed Majora's Mask/Skull Kid | 3DSFC - 4811.7177.1372.Liam | Art by me, TIL Userbar by Astral Shadow

    Formerly: Chapter of Charizard

  25. #275
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    Username: spartanfan17
    What is your favourite Zelda Game: Ocarina of Time or Wind Waker I love both of them so much.
    What made you become a Zelda Lover: Just playing Wind Waker caused me to love the series more and more.
    Name 3 characters who processes the Triforce Zelda-Wisdom Link-Courage Ganon-Power

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