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Thread: Eternal Masquerade [PG-13]

  1. #1

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    Eternal Masquerade


    So this is one my first fan-fiction which is about a not-so typical journey in Unova with some really different people. Hopefully you guys will like it, and seeing as though this is my first, it might not be the best. Just a little note.

    I rated this PG-13 because of slight swearing.

        Spoiler:- PM List:


        Spoiler:- Chapters:



    Chapter 1: The Mask Comes Off

    My beaten-up purple Xtransceiver fuzzed with blank static as I brushed my thin, messy blond hair away from my face and shook the machine softly. "Pick up..." I chanted repeatedly. Obeying my command, the scratched screen showed a familiar face that automatically made my heart soften. He had long, jet black hair that had a curl at the top of his head. His eyes were a deep, ocean blue that looked very stern; I knew that he wasn’t at times though. He wore a crisp white dress shirt and a red tie.

    "Cheren, I'm so glad you picked up. My mom is cooking dinner right now. Do you think that it's time to tell her?" Cheren looked thoughtful for a moment, processing my words.

    "It's up to you, Millie. You know your mother is very determined for you to follow in the family business and become a nurse." A knot started to grow in my stomach, imagining how my mother would react to the truth. It has always been my dream to travel the Unova region with all my Pokemon, but whenever I decided to bring the topic up she would rant for an hour about how it is virtually pointless to become a trainer and how becoming a nurse would actually help people. It really hurt me on the inside to know that I’ve been living a complete lie.

    I sighed. "I know, but I need to go on a journey. I want to become a gym leader like you, but how is that even possible if I don't train and leave?"

    He bit his lip. "The exact same thing happened with Bianca... Her father ended up being happy for her though and I'm sure your mother will too. Except you don't even know how she's going to react; she might be proud of you. Plus if things do go south, my gym is a couple towns over."

    He did have a point though; I have no idea in my mind about how she would react to this. "Alright, I'll tell her over dinner. Thanks for helping me Cheren." He nodded, and then signed off leaving the worn out Xtransceiver on the snowy screen.

    I tiredly slumped into the black beanbag chair and threw the Xtransceiver on my gray bed. Today was the day that I confess my true feelings. The more I thought about it the more the knot grew in my stomach. I took a Pokeball out of my backpack and stared at it, twirling it around in my nimble hands. Why did my mom have to be this way? All of my friends deserted me to go on adventures so why shouldn't I? I threw the Pokeball into the air and a red ray zigzagged into the form of a Pokemon. Once the Pokeball closed a tiny gray creature was floating in front of me quaintly. It wore a skull mask and had a single red eye looking around curiously. I pet it softly, the Pokemon singing gleefully.

    "I know your happy to be out of that Pokeball Duskull... Soon you'll be able to battle other Pokemon all the time," I muttered sweetly as the Pokemon started to float around my room. It really killed me to know that I was locking up my Pokemon in this tiny hell-ish house. They needed fresh air, and Duskull was young; there was no way he could beat those wild Pokemon out there, unless I trained really hard in the Virbank Complex. A faint aching was hitting the left section of my brain. Thinking this all out is giving me a headache, the first thing I should do is simply tell mom quickly and maybe she won't get angry. I highly doubt it though.

    My Mom’s voice interrupted my thoughts, "Millie, dinner is ready!" I stood up and cursed under my breath. Sensing something was wrong, Duskull hugged my arm. "Things will be okay sweetie… I hope," I say calmly as I trudged down the stairs and into the dining room seeing my mother setting up the food. I plastered a fake smile on my pale face and sat down, wringing my sweaty hands under the table. My mom plopped some mashed potatoes onto her plate and looked at me, her chocolate eyes looking straight through my smile. "Is something on your mind honey? I know that lasagna is your favorite and you’re just standing there."

    "Oh right, sorry. Everything is fine," I lied as I slapped some lasagna and potatoes on my plate, forcing myself to eat even though I lost my appetite a long time ago. Every second that ticked away the knot in my chest grew larger. Looking at my mother and her mousy brown hair only made this harder, so I decided to stare at my food. I just had to come out and say it. Say it fast...

    "Hey Mom, can I talk to you about something?" I blurted out, shocking myself that I actually had the courage to do that. I bit my lip and swept away my dirty blond hair, even though it was already behind my ear.

    "Of course, you can tell me anything, Millie."

    I sighed; it was finally time for the truth to come out, my true aspirations since I was seven. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Quit being such a wimp.. I told myself. "I know this is sudden, but can I go on a journey around the Unova region with my Pokemon? It's been my dream since I was seven. I have no interest in becoming a nurse." The twisting in my stomach subsided, except my hands were shaking anyway. It felt like the silence went on for hours, my heartbeat which seemed too loud, counted down the seconds.

    My mother looked into my eyes, "I'm very sorry Millie, but becoming a trainer won't help you at all in life. You are going into the family business and becoming a nurse, like your great-grandmother, your grandmother, and me. So, that basically means no."

    I clenched my fists, anger burning inside of me. There was no way that I spent more than half my life dreaming only to be turned down that easily. "Don't you even care about what I want to do in life?"

    "I'm doing this for you, this is for the best! Trust me, the only good thing from becoming a trainer is the money. Your Pokemon go through suffering, do you really want to go through that? It's a cold world out there, real life is tough. You wouldn't understand," she stated as she took a sip of her tea and looked at me, daggers in her brown eyes that could tear me to shreds.

    "Well of course I wouldn't understand. Partly because, oh, I'm not even allowed to freaking leave this place. Being cooped up in Virbank can't be good for me, have you seen that Complex? Pollution, pollution, pollution. Traveling will be good for me."

    "It's really no use arguing with you, I have the final say in this. No. Go to your room, you'll be there for a very long time."

    I stood up and planted my weathered combat boots firmly on the polished hardwood floor. The anger in myself was reaching its peak.

    “What did I just tell you Millie? Go. To. Your. Room.”

    I was sixteen. I can make my own choices in life, and I should not care about what some... Woman has to say about this. “No. I’m not doing anything you tell me to anymore. I am going to go on a journey, and I don’t care about you say,” I spat as I ran up into my room and grabbed anything I could see. Not caring what it was, I filled the shoulder bag to its rim. All I knew was that I had to leave. Now. Hurriedly I threw all my Pokeballs into the bag and ran downstairs to see my mother fuming.

    “I’m not letting you out that door," my mother snapped as she stood in the doorway.

    “Watch me.” I threw Duskull’s Pokeball into the air and the little shadowy Pokemon appeared, its scarlet eye glancing at my mother curiously. “I’ll make him use Will-o-Wisp if I need to.” Her eyes were glued to Duskull, obviously wary. “You wouldn’t.”

    “You obviously do not know the real me then. Duskull, use Will-o-Wi--” Duskull was forming a tiny purple blaze in his wispy arms, but before I finished commanding mom jumped out of the way. He let the flame fade out slowly. I smirked to myself. My mother never quite approved of Pokemon; she was always jumpy around them. I was halfway out the door when a thought struck me like a load of bricks.

    “Why do you hate Pokemon?”

    My question hung in the air for a moment, her chocolate eyes darted between me and the floor. After what felt like ten minutes, she started. “...You'll know soon.” What kind of answer was that? God, she's sounding like a stupid fortune cookie. I narrowed my eyes at my mother, taking in her soft features and slammed the door.

    Duskull floated about, embracing the evening air. The last sliver of orange sunlight was creeping below the city skyline, showering Virbank in the artificial light that protruded from the windows, marquee signs, and streetlights. This was the place I grew up. The place I was born... The place I was raised... The place my father left us. It was strange to have so many memories wrapped up in a single city. Most people would call Virbank disgusting, filthy, or out of touch. Those people have not seen the city from my perspective. I would call Virbank, pure beauty.

    I need to go see Cheren to tell him what happened, and maybe he could give me someplace to sleep for the night. Most likely I will not get there by nightfall. If anything I should just go to Floccesy Town to figure things out. I met Cheren through family. My mother and his mother were childhood friends, so basically we would spend a whole lot of time together. He was two years older than me, but he treated me as an equal so it didn’t really matter.

    I stared at the city skyline; I have a whole lot of walking to do. Looking back at my small blue house and seeing the shadow of my mother cleaning up through the draped windows made a slight burning come from the back of my brown eyes. I cannot cry… Not this time. Blinking the future tears away I slung the backpack over my right shoulder and started walking towards Floccesy Town, Duskull singing at my heels.
    Last edited by Toxic Nightshade; 6th May 2013 at 9:15 PM. Reason: Grammatical errors & chapter list




  2. #2
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    I like your detailed style! The fic is very realistic for Pokemon, and I like the main character's personality already. If you have one, could you kindly put me on the PM list?

  3. #3
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    I really like the setting between Bianca(Belle) and Cheren! Including with knowing their personalities, because it seems like I'm beginning to understand them already by their reactions. But can you place me in the PM List? I never asked this before, but I really want to be in the list.


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    Quote Originally Posted by MidnightFennekin View Post
    I like your detailed style! The fic is very realistic for Pokemon, and I like the main character's personality already. If you have one, could you kindly put me on the PM list?
    Of course, I added you to the list. Thank you by the way for the feedback, I'm trying my best with describing everything since that is not really my strong point in writing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quilava42 View Post
    I really like the setting between Bianca(Belle) and Cheren! Including with knowing their personalities, because it seems like I'm beginning to understand them already by their reactions. But can you place me in the PM List? I never asked this before, but I really want to be in the list.
    I added you as well. I'm trying to keep the old Cheren's personality along with the other black and white characters.




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    Flare, you're story is marvelous! I can't really give you any critiques, because I'm not good myself.... but, it's a wonderful story, and you should be proud.

    Put me on the PM list, pleash!

  6. #6

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    Chapter 2: Mediation


    The glowing white crescent was high in the navy sky, dark clouds obscuring the light from the stars. All I could hear was the squish of wet soil every time I took a step. My brown combat boots are dirty anyway so it didn't bother me. The doubts have been flowing through my brain ever since I left the Virbank City lines. I probably should have left tomorrow. Should I have even left at all? Nurses get paid high anywa-


    "Shut up!" I yelled as a couple of spooked Hoothoot chattered in protest. The voices in my head slowly subsided. I probably look like a freak right now, yelling at the damn sky. I looked at the decorative watch on my wrist. The shiny hands read the time, half past eight.

    Is this how my entire journey is going to be? Walking aimlessly through the darkness, alone. Well not entirely alone, I have my Pokemon with me. I fished through my shoulder bag and grabbed the forest green Dusk ball. It glistened, catching the thin slivers of moonlight. This little girl has been with me through some tough times. I pressed the circular button and threw the ball into the shadowy air. The usual red beam illuminated the pathway and joined into one point which left a small navy bird sitting in front of me. It wore a hat made out of feathers and it stretched its wings tiredly.

    "M...Murk..?" It squeaked as it looked up at me expectantly. I kneeled down and spread my arm out to her. She instinctively climbed up my arm and onto my head. I laughed softly as she nestled into my hair.

    "You never change do you Murkrow?" I stood up; she stretched out her wings for balance and sunk her claws into my messy blond hair. She could feel my muscles tensing up so she loosened her grip on my head. It slightly stung, but she used to do this all the time. Murkrow doesn't mean any harm.

    We continued walking down the path as Murkrow flew in front of me, embracing the slight breeze that was blowing. I started to hum an old lullaby that my mother would sing to me when I was young. It passed the time. Murkrow sat on my head again and squawked, which was her way of translating that there was a town ahead. She was right.

    Floccesy Town opened up before me, except there wasn't much to see. It was a rather small town with not a big population compared to the other Unova cities. The quaint houses and tall clock tower seemed inviting though. Maybe I could sleep in the Pokemon Center there or something... Before I got to the city however I was distracted by a medium sized ranch that looked quite intriguing. I need to keep my mind on track though if I want to find a place to sleep for the night. Keep your eyes on the prize, as my mother used to tell me.

    On the outskirts of Floccesy Town there was a small ranch house with a battle area in the front made out of hay. I walked up and looked over the waist-high fence. All the lights were off and there wasn't a car in the driveway so I suppose it won't hurt anybody if I train for a while. Both Duskull and Murkrow are so young, maybe if they battle against each other they will get some experience at least. Would this be counted as trespassing? It would be really bad if I go to jail and my mother would have to bail me out. It's probably best just to go to Floccesy and figure things out there.

    Murkrow flies off of my head and flew in a circle above me. What was that girl up to? She flew behind me and squawked. I slowly turn around and saw Murkrow sit on the head of a middle-aged man with long fiery orange hair and tan skin. He had a six-Pokeball necklace and a beige outfit on. He smiled warmly at Murkrow, who was making a nest out of his hair.

    "Oh wow, I'm so sorry about Murkrow, she usually only does that to me," I apologized as I fiddled with Murkrow's Dusk Ball.

    "Please, she's perfectly fine," the man stated as Murkrow looked at him curiously. His voice was rough, yet sweet at the same time.

    "I-Is this your house?" He nodded. "I was just out for an evening stroll, when I came across a young trainer. I see that you are interested in that battle area. What's your name?"

    I was hesitant for a moment, but seeing that Murkrow took a liking to him made me ease. "Millie... It's short for Millicent." I almost scowled when I said my full name. If I could change my name, I would. Millicent sounds like it belongs on an old woman.

    "Ah, nice to meet you Millie. My name is Alder," he said as he took Murkrow down from his head. I could feel my eyes widen. The previous Unova Champion was named Alder.

    "Are you... That Alder?"

    "If you mean the former league Champion, then yes. You know, your Murkrow is a fine looking Pokemon. Very trusting if I say so myself. You are not exactly a seasoned trainer yet, am I correct?"

    "Well, not exactly no... It's a very long story," I muttered as Murkrow sat on my shoulder.

    "Hm, well we can discuss it over tea if you would like."

    "Yeah, that would be great. It's getting late though..."

    "There is no problem, we can talk tomorrow. Do you have a place to stay for the night? There is a spare room in our house."

    "O..Our?" I sputtered. God I am like the most awkward person in the world.

    "Haha, yes, I live in this house with my grandchildren. Their parents are off doing things so I get to take care of them for the time being," he said, gesturing at the house. "I don't mind though, they make my life interesting!"

    I shifted in my spot and stroked Murkrow's wings. "Thank you for offering. It would be just for one night. I need to go see Cheren as soon as possible. Do you know him?"

    "Ah, Aspertia City's Gym Leader. I knew him when he first started a journey. All he cared about was power, and nothing else. He was quite judgmental as well. He changed when he thought out the true meaning of being a Pokemon Trainer." I sighed. He never told me that he only wanted power, but I could tell by his actions, that was the only thing that he actually cared about. I knew he could change though, and he did for the better.

    "So, let's go inside now. I have somebody that I want you to meet," he said as he gestured for me to follow him. When we got into the house I could hear two children giggling to each other quietly. A boy and a girl were sitting on an orange tri-color rug playing with a Cottonee and a Gible.

    "Who's that?" A boy's voice asked from another room.

    "Benga, I would like you to meet Millie. She is a beginning trainer who is on a journey!" Emerging from the doorway was a boy about my height, with a fiery Mohawk of hair that resembled the color of Alder's. He wore a white tee-shirt with a Pokeball necklace. I have heard about this kid; he beat the entire Black Tower.

    "Nice to meet ya Millie! Right! So, uh, do you want me to help train her Grandpa?" If he is going to train me, let's hope that he isn't always this hyper.

    "I... I can train myself; I don't want to feel like a bother to you all."

    "It's no problem! My Larvesta has been itching for a fight lately," he said as he pulled off a Pokeball from his necklace and threw it in the air. The red ray zoomed towards the floor, leaving a knee-high fuzzy bug in its wake. The creature had piercing blue eyes and five orange flames coming from its neck. It was kind of cute though after I looked at it for a while.

    "Well that's great then! We can train in Floccesy Ranch tomorrow. Now, wasn't there a long story that you had to tell me?"


    *~*~*~*~*~*

    I told him everything. I told him my aspirations, I told him about my Pokemon, I told him about the fight. He said that I did the right thing, to leave my home. People need to leave the nest, and grow up. He agreed with me and understood me.

    After we were done talking, I felt like I had to get this one thing off my chest. I never told this to anybody and I feel as though they wouldn't see me the same way if I told them. After I told him the secret, he accepted it. I told him that I am a chronic liar.
    Last edited by Toxic Nightshade; 8th April 2013 at 8:46 PM. Reason: Positioning




  7. #7

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    Chapter 3: Grim


    Duskull poked the young Mareep curiously, his red eye swerving rapidly through his skull. He seemed to be enjoying the little outing in Floccesy Ranch. The little yellow lamb's tail illuminated and Duskull flinched. I smiled and comforted him. He didn't exactly have the standard 'Duskull personality,' as most of them his age do. The average Duskull likes to spirit people away and see children cry, but for some reason mine is as sweet as honey.

    "All right! You ready to train Millie?" Benga asked from the other side of the Ranch's battle area.

    "You bet. Duskull, are you ready to battle?" After I said that, he floated in front me which made me assume that he was ready. I nodded at Benga, who then sent out the fluffy Larvesta that he showed me last night. Showing off its strength, five small flames erupted from the horns on its neck. I hope Duskull can take this...

    "Three... Two... One... Battle!" Alder called from the sidelines.

    "Duskull, use Night Shade," I yelled as he floated over to Larvesta and created a dark shadow that towered over him, Larvesta squirming under the dark force. "Use Ember to stop it!" Benga yellled as Larvesta closed his icy blue eyes and five small flames erupted from its horns, burning Duskull.

    "Skull!" He cried as he floated wearily over back to my side. "Are you okay Duskull?" I called out to him. Duskull spun in a circle, shaking off the heat. He is fine... He is fine... I assured myself. I realized that it was my turn again.

    "Duskull, use Disable on Larvesta!" His scarlet eyeball stopped swerving and centered on Larvesta, almost as if he was glaring at him. I could feel the intensity from here.

    "Ha! That was a waste of a move! Larvesta has much more powerful attacks than Ember!" The taunting was getting old by now. I should just shut up and ignore Benga for the rest of the battle. He is not worth my attention right now. I know that I can win this.

    "Right! Let's end this with Flame Charge!" The knee-high caterpillar tucked it's head into its underbelly and enveloped itself in a red cloak of flames. He started charging towards Duskull, ash in the air. "Quick! Dodge it!" I was too late to do anything though. Larvesta ran at him head on, knocking right in the middle of his skull mask. Duskull let out a cry as he was knocked out of the air completely and fell on the ground.

    "Duskull! Hang in there, please!" He slowly floated back up, but he was wobbling. One more strike and this battle will be over. I have no potions on me. I have no way of healing him. Murkrow can take this little dude down, but this was Duskull's battle by now. He had to at least go out with a bang.

    "This is it. Use Destiny Bond!" Larvesta narrowed his aquamarine eyes at Duskull, probably not knowing about this move before. That was my big plan anyway. He flew over to Larvesta and waved his wispy arms. A violet ring flowed from his body, catching the sparkles of the morning light. The ring evaporated into Larvesta's fluffy body, leaving him looking around curiously. Duskull floated back over to me and almost collapsed into the dirt. Hang in there buddy...

    Benga was getting frustrated now. I had a feeling this would happen. "Will-o-Wisp!" On the Larvesta's top horn, a blue-violet blaze was forming. I know that move too well, with my mother's scared face plastered in my mind. The whole fiasco was playing out in my mind now, the battle faded away from existence. How could I of just left her there wondering? I am the worst daughter in the world to do that. Duskull's screech snapped me out of my trip down memory lane, as the battle filled my mind again. By now he was terribly burned and Benga was looking at me with a blank look on his face.

    "Duskull, it's okay. He won by now," I whispered to him as he finally fell on the ground. He fainted, and so did Larvesta. The caterpillar's body was surrounded with the purple aura, until he screeched fell down as well. This battle was over.


    "Both Larvesta and Duskull are both unable to battle! This would be a tie, however Millie has two Pokemon with her. The winner is Millie!" Alder yelled happily as I picked up and cradled Duskull in my arms. Battling is a harsh practice, but this is the path millions before me took as well.

    "Good battle Millie! Your Duskull really surprised me out there," Benga said as he gestured to the small grim reaper in my arms. "Thanks. Your Larvesta did really good too."

    "Now that is what a real Pokemon battle is. You did really good out there Grim. Hm, I haven't called you that in a while," a voice called out behind me. I would know that confident voice anywhere. That voice was the only one that encouraged me, the only one that comforted me. I turned around and felt a huge smile spreading on my face.

    "Cheren? I thought you were supposed to stay in Aspertia since you’re the Gym Leader."

    "I made an exception, since Alder persuaded me to come. He said that you were going to see me, and then I thought, why not come to you?" He smiled at me, which used to be kind of rare for him.

    "Ah, yeah. I have to tell you about what happened. I got a little sidetracked as you can probably see," I stated reluctantly as I returned Duskull to his Pokeball.

    "It's perfectly fine. I was wondering how it went with your mother anyway. I'm guessing not too well." I looked into his oceanic eyes and shrugged. He really knew how to get into my head sometimes.

    "Well long story short, I'm on a journey now. To get all the Gym Badges and hopefully prove..." I trailed off, looking at the ground. Is that really my only supreme goal of this journey? To prove myself to my mother? Now that I think about it, that kind of sounds pitiful.

    "If it's the Gym Badges you're after, would you like to come back with me to Aspertia? Maybe you can challenge the Gym Leader there, haha."

    "I would love to. Maybe you can tell me about your journey on the way. Just give me time to say goodbye, okay?" He nodded and I walked over to Alder, his hair as fiery as ever.

    "Thank you so much for everything. Thank you for understanding."

    "Of course. I always love helping trainers in need! But try not to lie too much, okay?" He said quietly. I heard him perfectly though.

    "I'll try my best. Hopefully I'll come back to visit when I am the Unova Champion."

    "Hopefully. Benga! Come say goodbye to Millie," Alder called to his grandson as Benga ran over. "You're leaving so soon? Aw, well that's okay. It was good training with you though! Good luck with anything that you do." I smiled at them both, taking in the resemblance between the family members. They really did look alike in a way. I did not say anything to them as a goodbye, but I think that my silence spoke a million words.

    I waved at them both after Cheren healed Duskull. If only everybody on this journey will be as nice as they are. I finally turned around and stared at the dirt road ahead of me. This is really what a journey is about. Meeting new people and then creating memories that will last for an eternity. I never thought that Cheren would realize that the true meaning of being a trainer is not about the battles, or power of your Pokemon. It's all about the memories. Alder has shown him the light, just like he did with me.

    "I thought you would never call me Grim again."

    "I like that nickname for you. It suits both you, and your Pokemon," he stated as we both laughed. He used to call me that when we were little kids. Memories. That is the true meaning of a journey, that my mother never seemed to realize.
    Last edited by Toxic Nightshade; 8th April 2013 at 8:47 PM. Reason: Positioning




  8. #8
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    I need to be on this PM list. This is a really good fic!

    I'm currently on Chapter 2, but I might be calling it a night, so I don't think I'll have a proper review up for you just yet, but this is some good stuff. I'm pretty picky with the fanfiction I read, and I've had a pretty bad case of "there's nothing my taste for me to reaaaaaaad" lately, as the fics I do support are kind of. Not posting. So this is a really rare find for me and I'm so excited!

    Feel like you need a little more Pokemon in your life? Tune into our show!
    EPISODE 55 - SLOWPOKE HOLIDAY
    Looking for something Pokemon-related to listen to while playing through Pokemon XY? This episode is for you!!
    Released: 12/11/14


    Guess who claimed Luxray?!

  9. #9

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    @ jstinftw! I added you to the list. Thank you for the words by the way, it means a lot to me.

    This chapter is relatively small. Sorry guys.


    Chapter 4: Lookout

    The golden afternoon sunlight glinted off of the lake in the distance and the fluffy clouds looked like marshmallow fluff. The tall mountains were capped with snow, even though the air was particularly warm here. The colorful Unfezant were flying overhead, their calls echoing through the town. I leaned over the cool guardrail, embracing the mountain wind. I could stay at Aspertia's lookout forever. I never actually realized how beautiful Unova was, seeing as how I live in a polluted City. Just breathing in the mountain air cleared my lungs out somehow. The wind blew my dirty blonde hair around wildly so I brushed it away. I smiled to myself. Why should I care?

    "Nice view, isn't it Grim?" Cheren asked as he stood next to me, looking at the valley. I nodded to myself, unable to collect my words. "This is why I chose to stay here. I fell in love with the view... Plus I was needed here."

    "... Do you ever get tired? Tired of being a gym leader?" I looked at him and he shrugged, still staring at the mountains.

    "Some days I don't want to battle, but I just have to accept it and continue anyway. It is all worth it though, to know that I am making an imprint in a Trainer's journey." That answer was kind of what I expected; he gets tired but still enjoys battling. Ever since Cheren picked me up from Floccesy Ranch yesterday I could tell that something was different about him. I guess now he has a more mature air since becoming a Gym Leader. He always seemed mature for his age, more stern than others. Instead of running and tagging each other on the playground when we were kids, he was the one who sat on the bench and read books. He acts like he was a thirty year old businessman trapped in a seventeen year-olds body. I love him the way he is though, Cheren is like the big brother I never had.

    "Duskull was training really well yesterday; I'm sorry to say that I can't use him in the battle against you though, 'Mr. Normal Type Trainer,'" I joked. He softly laughed.

    "Well Murkrow is pretty tough, isn't she?"

    "Well yeah, if 'nesting' was a Pokemon move. She sat in Alder's hair the other day. I love her though."

    "Grim, all your Pokemon have bad reputations, and yet all of them act like sunshine. Did you notice?" Well I hatched Duskull from an egg, so I suppose that explains his wacky personality. Murkrow I'm not too sure though.

    "I suppose I just know the hearts of shadowy Pokemon," I said with a grin. "Now, do you want to battle me or what?"

    "Of course. Let's go to my Gym and do it though, Lillipup might be scared all the way up here," he stated as I followed him towards the Aspertia Gym.

    *~*~*

    The little blue bird was staring at Patrat, her eyes were narrowed. She has been looking at him for quite some time now, ever since Cheren sent him out after Lillipup fainted.

    "Grim, it looks to me as if they're having a staring contest," Cheren pointed out as Patrat's orange eyes twitched. If this wasn't a battle, that would be kind of adorable. I had to get her head out of the clouds though.

    "Murkrow! Use peck!" I commanded as she reluctantly sharpened her beak, flew up high and then jammed it into Patrat's stomach. He doubled over, but still managed to stay on his feet. Murkrow then trotted back over to my side proudly. At least I stopped their little staring contest.

    "You may have beaten Lillipup without a hitch, but you'll be sure to lose this time," he teased. I softly giggled to myself. Meh, at least his trash talk was getting somewhat better.

    "Now... Work Up!" Cheren yelled as Patrat's brown fur was submerged in a pale orange aura, his small rat-like stature was growing slowly. Hopefully Murkrow can handle him, despite the power ups. I should just put my faith in her and hope for the best. I probably should of done that from the start...

    "Use wing attack." Murkrow flew high up above the ourdoor battlefield and zoomed downward towards Patrat, her left wing slicing the air. She crashed against the rat Pokemon causing him to stumble awkwardly. It didn't faze him like I wished however. It was most likely Work Up that did that. Murkrow flew back over to her side and looked at me, her eyes pleading. What was she trying to tell me?

    "Work Up once more." His Patrat was covered in the dim aura for the second time. It was just going to keep getting harder for Murkrow. She turned around and looked me again, her gaze harder. She squawked at me, her wings wide. Suddenly it hit me. How could I of been so stupid? "Haze," I stated.

    Murkrow flapped both of her navy wings wildly, causing a dark mist to erupt from them. The shadowy fog edged through the battlefield, causing nearby school kids to cough. When the haze cleared, Patrat was blinking tears from his eyes. He should be back to normal by now.

    "Good choice," Cheren called. I got to it before he was able to call the next move. "Wing Attack!" I wasn't so sure if I was allowed to do that, but as long as I get the Plain Badge nothing matters. Murkrow sliced the Patrat with her wing once more, but this time the brown rat fell down on the ground unconcious.

    "Patrat is unable to battle! Millie is the winner!" The spectator called out from the sidelines. I ran out onto the battle area and pulled Murkrow into a tight embrace. She seemed to be happy, nestling deeper into my black jacket.

    "You did well today," I whispered to her. After I returned Murkrow to her Pokeball Cheren came over holding a thin white case.

    "This is your new badge case Grim. After every gym battle this is where you put your little achievements," he stated as he opened the case which showed black foam encasing with seven empty hollows inside. In the first hollow was a shiny gold and purple rectangular badge. It was the plain badge. He closed the case and handed it to me carefully. I placed it in my dark shoulder bag neatly.

    "You are now officially on a journey. Go get those badges and prove yourself to Unova." I smiled at him.

    "Thank you Cheren. I guess now I'm off to Virbank," I muttered as I stared at the dirt beneath my feet. Will my mother see me when I'm there?

    "Good luck Grim," he whispered as I turned around and left the gym. I walked up and stared over the lookout one last time before I took my leave. The clouds were drifting lazily under the breeze, casting reflections along the lake. I can see why Cheren didn't want to leave.
    Last edited by Toxic Nightshade; 8th April 2013 at 8:47 PM.




  10. #10

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    Chapter 5: Genesis

    The columns of smog faded into the atmosphere as I looked at Virbank City's skyline. I could taste the Complex's pollution from here, which smelled like a mixture of wood smoke and noxious gas. It's hard to believe that I barely noticed how thick the air in Virbank was; I started coughing once I caught sight of the city. It made sense that Virbank's Gym Leader was a poison type specialist. It was a beautiful city though once you scrape off all that grime.

    The city has never been the same since PokeStar Studios opened. Stars from distant regions flooded to the hub of it all, so they had to build up the city which means more hotels, houses, and festivals. More population equals to more pollution. On the bright side I met a bunch of famous people and Pokemon. I'm not even interested in those green-screen movies anyway; Pokemon Musicals are more my speed.


    Once I got into the city, so many memories came rushing back to me. Every step I took made me think more and more about my mother. Should I go see her? The thought of her mousy brown hair and milk chocolate eyes made me shudder. I was her only child and I just left her alone in the big house. Guilt washed over me as a thought popped into my head. Does she hate me?

    The sound of my Xtranceiver's ring interrupted my thoughts. As I sat on a nearby bench and sifted through my bag, the purple machine vibrated loudly. Who would be calling me? As I looked at the cracked screen, the caller ID made me cringe.

    "Mom," I read as I pressed the 'Answer Call' button involuntarily. The screen was split into two halves, my slender, grief-stricken face on the left and my mother's regular face on the right. The sight of me made her brown eyes soften, but I could still see some hurt in them.

    "Hello Millie. Where are you?" she asked, her voice wavering. She should be able to tell with the smokestacks in the background of my image.

    "I'm in Virbank. I—" she cut me off in the middle of my sentence.

    "Come home. You're already in Virbank and it has been already about two weeks since you left. Don't you think that you're dragging this charade a little too long?" I tilted my head slightly. So she thinks that my entire journey is a 'charade?' My answer has not changed; I'm going to say exactly what I told her the day I left.

    "No. I already have one badge and I can't stop now."

    "Badges are just pieces of metal; they have no monetary value or any value whatsoever. It's pointless to continue now," she stated, her voice stronger now. I shook my head.

    "I'm doing this, and that's final. I'm going to train in the Complex, and then challenge Roxie. I can do this mom. Why don't you just have faith in me?" I asked, my voice cracked at the last couple words. She didn't answer, so I'd better talk instead of silence filling the void between us. I took a deep shaky breath in and out. There was a soft burning in the back of my eyes. I didn't fight the tears.

    "I am your only damn child! You're supposed to support me! When have you once cared about what I think?" Silence. More irritating silence; it seems like that is all she has to say these days. "You are one of the worst mothers in the world; and I'm not exaggerating," I yelled as I slammed the Xtranceiver shut; Just another crack in the already broken screen.

    I was sobbing by now. I set my head on the far end of the metal bench so I was lying on my side. People were staring at me, but why should I care? The hot tears were streaming down my face, leaving my eyes bloodshot. I threw Duskull's Pokeball into the air and left him floating there, happy to see some familiar surroundings. I stroked his back, letting him cuddle up to my body. I need the love now more than ever.

    "Hey lady, your Duskull is cute!" A young girl's voice rang in my ear. I sat up and wiped the tears away from my face. Looking back at me was a girl that looked to be in her early teens with long, curly, honey brown hair. She was petting Duskull, her hazel eyes bright. She wore a long-sleeved blue tee and gray skinny jeans, with a big backpack the carried.

    The girl's most notable feature was not exactly a characteristic, more like a bodyguard. There was a four foot tall avian behind her, eyeing me cautiously with its three icy blue eyes; two on its torso and one on its neck. It was interesting to look at, along with an intricate pattern on its body, the colors of blue, yellow, and red. It was insanely hard to describe this Pokemon, if it even was one.

    "U-um, thanks. Who are you?" I asked her, my voice still shaky from the crying.

    "Hm? Oh, my name is Genesis. I'm on a big journey through the Unova region with my buddy Iggy here!" Genesis exclaimed as she spun around in a circle, causing the Pokemon to look at her oddly. So she calls her Pokemon 'Iggy?'

    "Hey, why are you upset?"

    "I-it doesn't concern you," I muttered sending Duskull back into his Pokeball, causing Genesis to slightly flinch. I looked into her eyes and could see that there was a spark of compassion beneath the green hazel hue.

    "Um, what kind of Pokemon is that?" I asked, trying to change the subject. She hugged the Pokemon once I asked her, its wings spreading wide.


    "This is Iggy, he is my partner; also a Sigilyph. He's been with me forever." she sang happily. Hyper. One word to describe her was hyper.

    "Well I have to go. I hope you feel better, er... What was your name again?"

    "My name... is Millie," I stated as Genesis waved and skipped away through the calm street with Sigilyph following her. That girl was interesting; not necessarily in the best way though. Sigilyph... I have never heard of that Pokemon before. Well at least she got my mind off of my mother. I stood up. It was pointless to waste time crying on a local bench, like a street rat. I should at least do something productive. I started walking towards the Complex, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

    *~*~*

    "Use Astonish!" I commanded at Duskull, who was currently battling a metal wall. This was the only place that I could train without being bothered by trainers; at the side of the Complex. Duskull raised his wispy arms in the air and made a spooky face with his red eye floating wildly. Ominous shadows appeared around him as he tried to scare the wall. He flew back to my side, looking proud of himself. I have been training like this for hours, switching between Murkrow and Duskull. While we were battling Duskull learned a new move, Confuse Ray; it should be useful in many battles.

    The sun was creeping below the horizon, which meant that training was about to be over. I really don't want to overwork my little warriors. Tomorrow will be a better day; I will battle Roxie and then go to Castelia, the biggest city in all of Unova. I'll be free from everybody; especially that dictator I have of a mother.

    "You watch out Roxie. I'm coming for ya'," I muttered to myself as Duskull sang in agreement.
    Last edited by Toxic Nightshade; 8th April 2013 at 8:52 PM.




  11. #11

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    Chapter 6: The Truth is Painful

    The alternative rock music pounded with the drumbeat, making the ground slightly shake under my feet. I sat in a cold metal chair in front of a big black stage, various neon colors splattered here and there. On the wall in back of the stage was painted graffiti art of the Pokemon, Koffing. It was Virbank's signature Pokemon, so I can understand why that mural was put there.

    In front of the microphone was the Gym Leader herself, Roxie. Her music was rough, yet strangely calming at the same time; I could listen to it all day. Her pale form stood out against the dark stage, especially since she has crazy platinum-white hair. Her outfit was typical for a punk rocker except I could tell that she added her own flair in little details, such as the spiky guitar and her sky blue platform boots. I wondered how she doesn't get overheated in that violet and blue sweater.

    I didn't really keep track of how long I waited there; I know that at least an hour had passed, seeing as how my foot fell asleep a long time ago. Nobody really notified me about how I should arrange this battle, so I'm just waiting until she stops performing.

    There was a row of chairs in front of her stage, me sitting in the second chair to the left. It used to be crowded, but around here people come and go as they please. A certain individual that was sitting a couple chairs away from me caught my eye though; even though I couldn't see their face at this angle, something about them seems odd. They glanced at me quite often too, which made me feel uncomfortable. For the sake of self-defense I sent Murkrow out to be my tiny little bodyguard if anything did happen. She tried burrowing into my jacket, probably to get away from the music. She made me smile though, which was a bonus.

    The music stopped abruptly, causing a soft murmur come from the audience. The few people that were there applauded her, along with me. Roxie's band put down their instruments and walked off the stage, leaving her there by herself.

    "I will now take Gym Battles, so thanks for waiting everybody!" She spoke through the microphone as her voice echoed through the underground Gym/Concert Hall. I slowly stood up, startling Murkrow who was nestled into my blonde mop of hair. I took her down and started walking to the stage awkwardly, causing me to blush. I hate when these things happen, I always feel out of place. Reading the mood, Roxie started playing her bass in an upbeat tone to break the silence. At least she could tell what I was feeling.

    I passed by the hooded individual, who then took their jacket off and looked straight at me with chocolate eyes. It was a woman, who was about an inch taller than me with pale brown hair, along with some strands of grey here and there. She was also my mother. A knot started to tighten in my stomach. My mind went blank, causing me to gawk at her.

    "What are you doing here?" I managed to squeak. She looked at me, and then at Murkrow, who was pecking a strand of my hair.

    "I came to see your battle. I need to see if you are a trainer that is worthy to take a journey." She is so messed up, I thought to myself.

    "Worthy? Everybody goes on journeys, even ten year olds," I spat, trying to keep my sharp gaze from wavering.

    "Well I'm not their mother now, am I?"

    "As far as I know," I muttered, trying to keep a smirk off my face. She looked aghast, just like I wanted her to be.

    "We didn't raise you to be that immature, Millicent." That name. I started glaring at her now, which didn't seem to faze her. Whatever, if she wants to watch me battle, so be it. It's not like it would make any difference in the outcome of my Pokemon. I didn't answer, but instead strode up on the stage next to Roxie, who was playing her bass fluidly.

    "H-hey Roxie, I'd like to challenge you," I stated awkwardly as some traces of my voice went through to the speaker. She opened her blue eyes and looked at me, her freckled face determined.

    "Alright! Get ready, 'cause I'm gonna knock some sense outta ya!" she yelled, sending out her first Pokemon. Oh don't worry, it's probably already gone, I thought, glancing at my mom who was eyeing me carefully. The Pokeball closed to reveal a small, violet, sphere-like Pokemon, with yellow skull and crossbones on its stomach. Yellow smog released from its pores as it smiled to itself. This was a typical Koffing; I used to see them everywhere when I used to play around the Complex. I should be able to win as long as she doesn't pull anything...

    I clasped onto Duskull's Pokeball and threw it into the air, leaving that adorable little soul floating in front of me. Roxie's eyebrow arched at the sight of him, like most trainers do. Hoenn Pokemon were sort of rare in this part of the Unova region, so it's guaranteed that you will get a couple of puzzled looks walking down the street. If she wasn't going to start this battle, then I will.

    "Confuse Ray," I state as Duskull's single eye glows a neon red. A ray of blinding violet light erupted from the eye, right in Koffing's face. Once the ray stopped I could see Koffing floating around aimlessly, also kind of irritated of the colored lights that surrounded the stage. Our practicing paid off; his Confuse Ray worked like a charm. It was Roxie's turn now.

    "C'mon Koffing, let's rock this battle! Assurance should take him down!" She yelled as Koffing shook his head wildly. He wobbly flew over in Duskull's direction and rammed itself into his dark form. Despite the confusion, he did it anyway... Duskull screeched and stumbled. It just hit me. Assurance was dark, he was ghost. Duskull just took more damage than I thought he did. This Koffing was powerful, more than I thought it would be. I glanced at my mom, who was narrowing her eyes at Duskull. This is just great, first I have a gym battle and now I have a judge to worry about.

    "Hang in there Duskull... Try to use Astonish!" I stated. It probably wouldn't do much, but I need to get some damage on him. Duskull floated wearily over to the toxic Pokemon and made the spooky face that we practiced in the Complex. The shadows danced around him as Koffing's eyes widened, still in a daze.

    "Assurance one more time!" The Koffing's eyes were looking around the room as he rammed into Duskull once again, just barely missing him. Duskull crumpled into a shadowy heap on the ground, his eye spinning.

    "Duskull is unable to battle!" The announcer called from the box above the stage. I bit my lip raw by the time that he fainted. My mother was shaking her head, and my mind was reeling. Koffing hasn't taken any damage at all from confusion. How am I ever going to win this? I sighed to myself and returned the fainted Duskull to his Pokeball.

    "You did good..." I whispered to him. I threw Murkrow's forest green Dusk ball into the air, which the little dark bird flew out from. She squawked and sat on the ground happily.

    "You have some really cool Pokemon, but mine are surely going to knock them out! Use smog!" Koffing shook his body, and closed his eyes. They realigned, and he was steady again. The confusion was over, that's just great. He released purple smoke from his pores right towards Murkrow. She could've dodged it if my mind was not already preoccupied with my irritating mother. Murkrow squawked and shook her wings to get the toxins off, but it was too late. Her eyelids were twitching and she has a purple hue on her face. She was poisoned by that idiot Koffing. I NEED TO GET MY HEAD IN THE GAME! I screamed in my mind.

    I... I can't. I can't do it with her here. She's pressuring me and yet she's not even doing anything. She was the woman that gave birth to me. Why am I so intimidated by her? I reached in my disorganized bag and pulled out a palm-sized pink berry.

    "Come here Murkrow..." I said with care as I held out the berry towards her. She turned around and munched on the soft fruit slowly. The violet hue faded away and she squawked in happiness. When she went back to my side, I smiled to myself. We can make it.

    "Smog!" The Koffing drifted towards Murkrow once more, and shot the noxious gasses just like last time; except I was ready. "Dodge it!" She flew up high, leaving the poison to fade into the once-clean atmosphere. "Now, Wing Attack!" She body slammed the Koffing with her left wing from above, causing him to bang into the black and purple stage. Murkrow seemed fired up after that berry. I smirked at my mom, who was crossing her arms. Sadly I could not read her facial expression like I usually can; I guess I'll find out after the fight.

    Murkrow trotted proudly back over to her spot as she looked at Koffing with interest. "Koffing is unable to battle!" The announcer's robotic voice called out. This is it; she's on her last Pokemon. If my hunch is right, Roxie's last Pokemon is styled off of her signature bass. Being the Gym Leader of my hometown, I should know what kind of Pokemon she has.

    "It's not over yet! Time to turn this show around for a victory!" She sang as she threw a basic Pokeball into the air. The red ray turned into the exact Pokemon I knew she was going to choose; it was a violet, wheel-shaped Pokemon with four black-striped feelers on either side of its body. It's golden eyes on the sides of its torso were glaring at Murkrow, ready for a fight.

    "Alright Whirlipede, let's go with Venoshock!" The Whirlipede sprang into the air and started turning like a racecar. Globs of green goo flew out towards Murkrow as the bug stopped spinning. "Dodge it!" She flew like an acrobat into the air, dodging two out of the three globs. She landed with a thud, the poisonous mess covering her small form. She shook most of it off, squawking like a mad bird.

    "We can do this Murkrow... Let's go Wing Attack!" She flew up into the rafters readying her slam. She shot down like a torpedo with her wing stretched out, ready to slice. "Protect." Murkrow's eyes widened as her small body slammed into an invisible force which was covering Whirlipede. I did not see that coming... "Try doing it again!" I commanded as the pale blue barrier started to fade. She looked so shaken up, it actually seemed to of done some recoil damage. Obediently, she flew up again just like last time. With just as much power, her navy wing sliced Whirlipede, causing him to squirm.

    "Good job," I praised. Roxie smirked at me, "You're doing really well for a beginner! I can feel your urge to win from over here! Now, Venoshock again, let's go!" The Whirlipede sprang into the air once more and spun quickly, the goop flying off of him just like last time, "Murkrow! Try dodging it again!" The little navy bird flew in all directions trying to become a hard target. All of the green goop missed her tiny form again. I could tell that Whirlipede was getting angry by the way he was moving. Of course, this was all a part of my plan. "Let's finish this off with Wing Attack!" Murkrow flew up parallel to the Whirlipede who was moving around like he was lost. This is why Pokemon should never have eyes on the sides of its body. They can't see up.

    "Kroooow!" Murkrow screeched as she sliced her wing through the wheel-like Pokemon. Whirlipede squealed and landed on his side. He was knocked out. She must be more powerful than I thought she was.

    "Whirlipede is unable to battle! The challenger is the winner!" I could not resist running smirking at my mother, whose face was still unreadable. Murkrow fluttered happily as I pulled her up to my shoulder. Roxie returned the bug Pokemon to the Pokeball and walked over to me with a shiny golden item in her hand.

    "I didn't like losing; well…I guess that means you're strong! This stinks, but I gave it everything I had, and I feel revitalized and refreshed now! Here's the proof that you beat me, the Toxic Badge! Don't let your Murkrow play with it, I know that they like shiny things," she stated as she pet the Darkness Pokemon softly, Murkrow looking excited. I smiled to her. She sure does know her Pokemon.

    "Yeah, I guess. Thank you Roxie for the great battle."

    "Your Pokemon WANTED this win! Keep on going on like this, and do all sorts of stuff!"

    "I will, trust me."

    "Oh wait, before you leave, you're headed to Castelia City right?"

    "Yeah, I think that's my next stop. Why?"

    "My dad is the captain of the ship that takes you there. Be sure to say 'hi' to him, because he loves when passengers do that."

    "Heh, of course," I answered as I walked off the stage and looked at my mother. I was at a loss for words, either she said something or nobody talks at all.

    "Your Pokemon did well," she said, looking at the ground.

    I stroked Murkrow's hat, "I know they did."

    "... You know, I still want you to come home. Even though you won two out of the eight gym battles, it doesn't mean that there is not any danger out there. Trust me," she stated reluctantly.

    "I can handle myself perfectly fine. Plus, I can't trust you anymore. Not after what happened."

    "I have been lying to you. My dream wasn't to become a nurse either, my dream was... My dream was to become the champion." My eyebrow arched. I guess lying runs in the family then.

    "So you went on a journey, just like me?" I asked her.

    "I guess you could say that, except I lived in the Johto Region at the time. I was at the top of my game. I beat every battle with my beloved Pokemon. I almost died on that journey, Millie. I was this close, but I survived."

    "W-what happened?"

    "I got attacked. You really don't want to know the details, but I was way too trusting. Those people had a Houndoom, which they used to burn me. There's something that you need to know about those wretched Pokemon; when you get burned by a Houndoom, the wounds never heal. That was the reason why I let you go so easily, when you turned Duskull on me. I can't afford any more burns on top of the one I have," she stated quietly as she clutched the left side of her waistline with a slight grimace of pain. "I tried reporting the incident, but those people were already on the plane to another region. I don't want the same thing to happen to you," she muttered, looking into my eyes. "People tell you that journeys are always nice and fun, they haven't seen my perspective. I have seen the ugly face of a journey that nobody could imagine."

    I was speechless. I tried opening my mouth to speak, but it felt like it was full of cotton. That was the big reason why she was afraid of Pokemon then... "I promise you, that my Pokemon will protect me. I will train them to be strong! Nothing will happen," I managed to say. My mother put a soft hand on my free shoulder and shook her head. She took the hand away, and gracefully walked out of the Gym without another word, leaving me there wondering and wallowing in my self pity; just like I did to her the night I left.
    Last edited by Toxic Nightshade; 8th April 2013 at 8:54 PM.




  12. #12
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    This is the first Unova fic I decided to pick up. Now let's start this thing.

    "Cheren, I'm so glad you picked up. My mom is cooking dinner, should I tell her now?"
    This is actually three sentences. You have a comma splice in the second half. The comma should actually be a period and such.

    "It's up to you Millie.
    Since Cheren is addressing her, there should be a comma before her name.

    I sighed, "I know, but I need to go on a journey.
    You can't sigh something. If you want to keep sighed, then the comma will need to be changed to a period. If you want to keep the comma then you'll have to change sighed to something else such as said or cried.

    Except you don't even know how she's going to react, she might be proud of you.
    Same thing happened here. You have two sentences. A semicolon would also work in situations like this.

    All of my friends deserted me to on adventures so why shouldn't I?
    Go was left out here.

    Once the Pokeball closed a tiny gray creature was floating in front of her quaintly.
    You changed perspective here. Is this a sign showing that this could have been told from a different point of view?

    I stood up and cursed under breath.
    You left out my.

    "Is something on your mind honey? I know that lasagna is your favorite and you’re not eating."
    I found this part odd. She said that Millie wasn't eating, but wasn't dinner just prepared? It would make sense to not be eating yet since she just got into the dining room. Just something I found strange.

    "Hey mom, can I talk to you about something?"
    Since Mom is being used as a proper noun it must be capitalized as such. The same thing applies with Dad, Grandpa, etc.

    "Of course, you can tell me anything Millie."
    Comma splice. And there should be a comma before Millie.

    So, that basically means no."
    That does mean no. Damn Mom...

    ...and I don’t care about you say,”
    What would like to join the party.

    It's a twist on the beginning to a journey fic all right. Millie seems to be the closet rebellious type finally breaking out of her shell and Cheren is, well, Cheren. Not much happened in the first chapter, but what can you do? It's the first chapter. The way Millie's mother changed her mind was very sudden and out of nowhere if you asked me. If she was so dead set on not letting her travel, how would just one Pokemon change that? Even if she was afraid of Pokemon, her resolve to keep her there was very strong, but in that one moment is was very fragile. I'll continue onto the rest of the fic once I have had some rest. I can't judge it yet since all I have read is the first chapter. Until then.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow Lucario View Post
    This is the first Unova fic I decided to pick up. Now let's start this thing.



    This is actually three sentences. You have a comma splice in the second half. The comma should actually be a period and such.



    Since Cheren is addressing her, there should be a comma before her name.



    You can't sigh something. If you want to keep sighed, then the comma will need to be changed to a period. If you want to keep the comma then you'll have to change sighed to something else such as said or cried.



    Same thing happened here. You have two sentences. A semicolon would also work in situations like this.



    Go was left out here.



    You changed perspective here. Is this a sign showing that this could have been told from a different point of view?



    You left out my.



    I found this part odd. She said that Millie wasn't eating, but wasn't dinner just prepared? It would make sense to not be eating yet since she just got into the dining room. Just something I found strange.



    Since Mom is being used as a proper noun it must be capitalized as such. The same thing applies with Dad, Grandpa, etc.



    Comma splice. And there should be a comma before Millie.



    That does mean no. Damn Mom...



    What would like to join the party.

    It's a twist on the beginning to a journey fic all right. Millie seems to be the closet rebellious type finally breaking out of her shell and Cheren is, well, Cheren. Not much happened in the first chapter, but what can you do? It's the first chapter. The way Millie's mother changed her mind was very sudden and out of nowhere if you asked me. If she was so dead set on not letting her travel, how would just one Pokemon change that? Even if she was afraid of Pokemon, her resolve to keep her there was very strong, but in that one moment is was very fragile. I'll continue onto the rest of the fic once I have had some rest. I can't judge it yet since all I have read is the first chapter. Until then.
    Thank you so much for the feedback, I'll be sure to fix those errors. I kind of have trouble with commas, but I'm getting the hand of things.
    Her mother is actually supposed to give up easily, I actually meant for her to do that. I know it kind of sounds unrealistic, but you'll understand more as the fiction progresses.
    Last edited by Toxic Nightshade; 8th April 2013 at 8:26 PM.




  14. #14

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    Chapter 7: Hypnotic

    I stepped onto the fairly small vessel, which wobbled with every wave. I knew that this boat has been taking passengers here for ages, but boats still made me fairly worried, no matter what. I hung my arm over the metal guardrail, feeling the air. My mind was swirling with thoughts about everything that happened. My Mothers story, my journey so far; everything is just disorganized in my subconscious.

    "Hey Millie, you're on this boat too? This is going to be so much fun!" a voice that I barely recognized stated from behind me. I slowly turned around, and saw a little teenage girl, with wavy brown hair and those famous hazel eyes. Genesis smiled at me with a Cheshire cat grin on her face. I wore a fake, yet believable, smile. "Oh, hey Genesis. You're right; this is going to be epic." I lied. Lying came so easily to me; it was almost like being truthful was a sin.

    "Sadly this is a short trip though," she whispered with hurt in her swirling hazy eyes. My face softened; she was only looking for a friend, I couldn't just ditch her here.

    "Well, we can make the time we have now count; right?" I asked her, trying to keep the conversation almost too bubbly for my taste.

    Her face lit up, causing me to question about her rapidly changing mood. She grabbed my wrist abruptly as the small ship jerked forward, causing me to slightly stumble under our combined weight. I grabbed the cold metal handrail.

    "Woah... I have been on this boat, like, fifty times, and I never get used to that," Genesis said playfully. What did she mean by fifty times? I decided to dig up more on the subject.

    "Why fifty?"

    "Well my parents are divorced, but they still keep a healthy relationship. Dad lives in busy Castelia and Mom lives in quiet Floccesy, and I sort of trade back and forth between them every other week. It actually works out, because I hate staying in the same place for too long." I looked at the dark sea rushing along before me, my thoughts just as frazzled as those Frillish down there, curiously looking at the white boat that was invading their territory. I had no idea that this girl had to go through that. I just thought she was hyper and annoying, but I suppose I misjudged.

    "I'm sorry."

    "It's not your fault, seriously; like I said, I enjoy moving around. Having a slow type of life isn't my thing. My motto is, 'Live fast and cherish the moments,'" she stated with a faint smile. "Now come on, I know every corner of this ship! Let's go exploring, yeah?" Genesis grabbed my wrist in a viselike grip, and started dragging me involuntarily through the depths of the small boat.

    *~*~*

    "Our numbers have been dwindling ever since our King disappeared," a calm man stated as he fiddled with assorted files and beige folders. He was facing a long cherry wood desk, with a wall of monitors in the background, showing various images of a metallic machine at different angles. The air was tense; as if it was charged with dull electricity. A voice responded harshly:

    "Do not speak of him. He was simply an experiment, a face; that failed." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Don't we have enough members?" The firm voice asked nonchalantly from behind a tall faux leather chair, which was sitting in front of the wall of monitors.

    The scientist sighed quietly and pushed up his glasses. "The number is not ideal, no. Compared to the statistics from two years ago to now, we are at a slight shortage. Power is in numbers sir."

    "So why don't you do something about it? I'm pretty sure that your petty research doesn't mean anything, but if our numbers are sufficiently low, fix it yourself," he muttered fiercely, with acid in his voice. "We do not need a... King, to lead us."

    The man with the glasses looked at his feet, grimacing. He already had so much on his plate, but he knew that he couldn't deny his upper. "Y-yes sir, I shall try my best."

    "... I did not hire you to work 'your best.' I am looking for perfection. This plan is too delicate for simple mistakes," his boss continued, "As for the member problem; we only need people who are loyal. Do not just hire people off of the streets, make an... Initiation program. That should test which one of those drones are truly loyal to us, and more importantly, our ideals."

    The scientist ran his fingers through his slicked back blonde hair; gel residue clinging to his fingertips. Looking at the pile of paperwork he set on the ground, stress was starting to set into his stomach. He might actually have to take his work home with him; the first time in his busy eight month period of working at this corporation. He knew that without this job, the only thing he would be is an educated street urchin. He reluctantly sighed and gave up the never ending battle.

    "I will be sure to take care of it sir, you can count on me," he reluctantly stated, picking up his messy pile of paperwork; which he was forced to carry around because of the constant growth of his priorities.

    "I'd better... Now, it looks to me like you have a whole lot of work on your hands, Colress. Get to it, if you do not want to drown," the intimidating voice said coolly while still facing the monitors. Colress opened his mouth, only to hear a slight murmur erupt from his vocal cords. He should be used to this by now, but it still gave him the chills every time his boss did that to him; the way he always seemed to know what was happening even though his back is turned was beyond even Colress' advanced knowledge. Dumbfounded, he simply nodded and swiftly left the intimidating office, only with the quiet murmur of elderly floorboards left of his presence.

    *~*~*

    Castelia City loomed over us, the millions of skyscrapers and electronic signs drawing my attention. There was almost too much to look at, in too little time. There were more than a hundred people walking the streets, alone, chatting on their phones or just trying to take a stroll. The bustle of this City was almost too much to handle, me realizing that when about three people bumped into me; nobody even bothering to apologize of even take a second glance. Even though the towers and view were marvelous, this city was easily making me claustrophobic. I wasn't fit to be in this metropolis; and everybody could see that.

    I glanced at Genesis, who was now weaving her way through the flood of bodies. No 'goodbye,' no, 'see ya later!' She just left me here, to fight for my sanity, which this city mostly sucked away already. I sighed to myself and reluctantly followed her throughout the crowded streets. It's not like I had any other choice, she probably knows this city like the back of her hand. I'm just a simple girl, swallowed up, in the turbulent city that was known as, Castelia.

    Genesis edged off the curb a bit and sat in a patch of crabgrass, with her back against the chrome skyscraper. I sat across from her awkwardly, with my head tilted.

    "Where are you headed to now?" I asked her over the clamor of the Unovian crowds.

    She looked at me, her face expressionless. "I'm planning to go visit my Father before I start traveling. He said that he had something to tell me, before I actually leave. Feel free to come with me if you'd like. My Dad studies the behavior of Pokemon, and he sometimes writes the Pokedex entries from his experience; he even wrote Duskull's entry, along with Iggy's." I have heard of the Pokedex before; the Pokemon Professors give them to kids who are on journeys to collect data on all the Pokemon.

    "I would love to meet him."

    "That's great! I'm going over there now. He lives in the second tallest condominium that this city has to offer," she stated as I grabbed her offered hand and pulled myself up.

    "Good thing I'm not afraid of heights."

    "I kind of learned not to be." Genesis waved for me to follow her, as we both weaved through the congested streets; her, much more gracefully than I. We passed various intriguing stores, which included an ice cream stand, a video game headquarters, and a cute looking café. I made a mental note to check some of those stores out before we left. She stopped in front of a glass revolving door looked up to the sky.

    "It's tall, isn't it?" I craned my neck to only see a glimpse of the tip of the building; which was making me sway from down here.

    "Very. Does he live of a fairly high floor?" I questioned as we both pushed through the translucent revolving door. The lobby wasn't anything that special, there were a couple couches to the far left, surrounding a fairly updated television hanging on the wall. The clerk at the front desk was typing away on a computer, hardly even taking a second glance at us; like everybody else in this city.

    "Not really." I followed Genesis through the elevator, which was slightly more posh than the lobby. She clicked the button that was labeled, 'twenty-three,' which illuminated brightly at the contact.

    "Don't worry, this place is much nicer than you think," she whispered reassuringly with a grin on her face. The chamber moved quite quickly, after only forty seconds of actually being inside the elevator. I followed her again down the golden-yellow hall and stopped in front of a door which she slid a key card through. It gracefully opened, and I walked behind her in.

    The room was fairly large, with a fully stocked kitchen to your right, and a nice little family room/workplace on your left. There were a couple other rooms, which probably led to the bedrooms and closets. Crashed out on the couch was a middle-aged man in a beige button-up tee shirt, snoring loudly with his glasses askew. I'm guessing that he is her father; so far I cannot see the resemblance. Genesis shook him softly.

    "Wake up, Dad... We have a guest," she muttered as he slowly opened his eyes and yawned.

    "W-what? Who's this?" her father asked as he sat up and looked at me through crooked glasses.

    "This is Millie; she's on a journey too! So, I guess I'm just hanging out with her for the time being."

    "Hi, nice to meet you," I said with a smile. One thing my mother told me how to do, is act polite.

    "Good to meet you, Millie. You can call me Arthur. I'm sorry; I usually do not fall asleep during the day, but the new Pokemon I was researching kind of... Ambushed me, so to speak," Arthur said as he smoothed out his brown hair.

    "So, Dad, where is that Pokemon by the way?" Genesis asked as she looked around. Her Father looked ragged and sighed.

    "I have no idea; I think he's in the bedroom. I don't want you to get near him though sweetie, I don't want you to end up like me. It's a Pokemon called, 'Hypno.' He carries a pendulum around and can put people to sleep if you look straight at it," he said, glancing at the bedroom.

    I had no clue about what type this Pokemon was, or what it looked like, but something inside me was curious. "I can go look for him if you'd like. I have my own Pokemon to protect me, see," I said as I threw a Pokeball into the air which opened to reveal Duskull who floated to Arthur's face. He looked at the man softly, his gaze strong. I pet him quietly and looked at the bedroom.

    "I guess it will be okay. That is a fascinating Duskull by the way, he is unlike most I've seen," Arthur said as his calculating eyes scanned every inch of the little Grim Reaper. I waved for him to follow me into the bedroom, which he did obediently. I kept my senses on high alert, just in case that Hypno tried to pay me a visit. I walked through the room, looking under the bed, in corners, and even in the drapes; there was nothing there.

    "Hyp..." I deep voice muttered from above me. I slowly looked upward, to see a yellow Pokemon that was about as tall as I am, clinging to the ceiling fan. My heart skipped a beat; Do not look at the pendulum... I chanted in my head.

    "Come on Hypno... Duskull, is it possible for you to bring him down?" I asked doubtfully as Duskull floated up to Hypno with a wandering eye. He created a tiny Will-o-Wisp in his dark arms, in an almost threatening way. The Hypno's dark pupils narrowed, as he slowly fell down from the fan onto the burgundy bed. At least he was somewhat domesticated. He looked at me, and started swinging his chrome pendulum menacingly. I refused to look at it, and had Duskull lead him out into the family room.

    Genesis had a look of fear plastered on her face, as her eyes started to droop. She blinked with her eyelids wavering, and softly slumped into the leather sofa. Poor girl, she must have stared at the pendulum.

    "Is this who you were looking for?" Hypno walked out from behind me, looking at Genesis; who was now fast asleep. Arthur scribbled down some notes on a composition book, while eyeing Hypno carefully.

    "Thank you for finding him. My research is almost over now, so I suppose I'll have to release him in the Castelia Gardens."

    "Castelia Gardens?" I never thought that those two words could be together in a sentence; I stand corrected. This city looks too crowded for a garden anywhere.

    He walked over and looked out the window. "The Castelia Gardens are a very underground place, not many inhabitants know about it. They say that Castelia City was actually built around the garden. All you have to do is go into the Castelia Sewer, climb up the stairs, and boom; you are Castelia's secret garden. I release all my Pokemon there, for the sake of their health."

    I really want to check this place out, but sewers aren't really my thing; maybe though, we'll see what happens. "Are you really going to release him?"

    Arthur's face was made into a puzzled expression as he looked at the fuzzy, yellow thing that was now toying with his pendulum.

    "Who else would take him? He can be a danger to himself and others."

    I can't believe I am going to say this, but somehow I bonded with Hypno. Something about him intrigues me. "I will."

    He looked at me. "Are you sure?"

    I pet Hypno’s head; he didn't seem to mind. I finally nodded at Arthur, who said to me, "I'm sure that you can train him well." Hypno stared at me with his pinpoint-like pupils. I'm sure that I will.

    Arthur dug through his bag and pulled out a black and red-striped shining Pokeball. It was unlike the most I've seen before; if I recall correctly, it was called a Luxury Ball. He handed the glittering Pokeball to me, which made Hypno all mine. I knew I'd made the right choice.

    "Thank you so much. I'll be sure to take good care of him," I stated, glancing at the disheveled Genesis on the couch. "I'll be sure to take care of her too."

    "I appreciate it. She hasn't really been the same since she was diagnosed last summer." Something inside my stomach dropped. Genesis never told me anything about a disease, or let alone, anything useful.

    "What was she diagnosed with?" I asked him.

    "I'll leave that for her to tell. She'll tell you when she's ready. I really don't want to go behind her back with this." I didn't expect anything less.

    "I promise, I'll take good care of her, no matter what."

    Arthur nodded. "I believe you." I stared at the carpeting; he probably shouldn't.

    "W-would it be okay if I leave for the time being? Genesis is asleep anyway, and when she does wake up, I don't want to intrude or anything," I asked. My brain is so foggy from everything that has happened lately, I can't even see straight anymore. A nice quiet place to relax and think would be best, but that's kind of rare in this city.

    "Of course; you know where to find us," Arthur stated as he sat down in an armchair and started flipping through his weathered composition book.

    I clasped my hand around the cool doorknob and made my way out of the building without any trouble. I stood in front of the condominium for a moment, staring at the street. The Castelia Gardens were my best bet, because I wanted some peace and quiet; if that was actually possible.

    I reached into my bag and threw the shiny Luxury Ball into the air, causing the hypnotic Pokemon to stand next to me. He looked at everybody that we were passing by, with a slightly tilted head. I got some odd looks as well, mostly because Hypno was an inch shorter than me. According to Arthur, Hypno have a bad reputation; I don’t care. Rumors are rumors, good or bad. I know that spiriting people away is normal for the breed, but I saw a spark within him. Somehow when I touched his fur, I could tell that he means no harm. I will give Hypno a better face, a new start; that most people would shun me for. Everybody deserves second chances in life, so why not Pokemon?




  15. #15

    Default

    Note: Sorry for the long wait, along with my computer acting up, a new anime i'm obsessed with, and school, i didn't have much time to write.

    Chapter 8: Ninja Lunatics

    The sickening smell of sewage wafted from the large manhole cover, which I slowly pulled away. This is it; the Castelia Sewers. I peered down into the murky shadows, only to see a faint blue light that was attached to the stone walls. Sadly this is the only way to the elusive gardens that I know of. How can I even be sure that this is the right way? Urban legends are famous around Unova, but still. A Garden didn't seem that rare. Then again, looking at the city behind me, it sure seemed that way.

    Before putting my leg through the hole, a yell pierced my eardrum. I looked around and saw a couple of people in their early twenties, lurking in the crevices of the alleyway. The scream came from there, and I’m sure of it.

    Being the idiot I am, I sighed and trudged over to the group of thugs. There were three of them in total, two taller than me by at least a couple inches. Hidden in the shadows was a scrawny looking boy, who was quivering like a chihuahua on coffee. His mousy brown hair was tousled at an awkward angle, and he was clutching a Pokeball in his hands so tightly that his knuckles were a plaster white.

    “G-get away from me…” the boy squeaked, giving the thugs a slightly frightened glare. They didn’t notice that I was there, so I slinked into the wall with silence. This is pitiful, seeing these thugs just cornering a school kid. Stealing a helpless child's Pokemon is just sick, especially at their age. Mid-life crisis, anyone?

    “Just give us your Pokemon, and this will be all over. You lost the battle, so we are entitled to taking the runt,” a woman said to the little boy. She wore a black mask covering her mouth, which was the same for the other thugs as well. Now that I thought about it, they all wore very odd outfits. They looked like a cross between ninjas and people in their mid-twenties--- which they probably are.

    “Who do you think you are?” I blurted out. I cursed under my breath as they looked at me with an evil hint in their combined gaze. I could heat rise in my cheeks; being the center of attention is not my thing.

    “It doesn’t concern you, Blondie,” the short guy snapped at me. I’ve been called a lot of names in my day, but this was an all time low. My eyebrow arched as I looked at all of the eyes that were staring at me.

    “Ooh, bravo, very creative. Somebody, give this guy a prize! Look, just leave the kid alone. It’s not like harassing an eight year old will give you guys any street credit anyway; this right here is just pitiful,” I snapped as I pulled the boy away from the ninja-thugs. He was still shaking, but not as much as he was when I first got here. The woman in glared at me with her ice colored eyes; I could see no mercy in them. I glared back at her, trying to keep my face cool and collected.

    I whispered in the boy’s ear, “Leave this to me; everything will be fine. Just go home and rest up your Pokemon, Sweetie.” He grinned at me and trotted away towards the metropolis. Wahoo, another lie to add to my eternal list. At least I got one problem off my plate though.

    "You're gonna pay for that, little Goth wannabe," the woman spat as she pulled a Pokeball out of her black belt.

    "Oh look, more witty names," I stated as I rolled my eyes. "If it's a battle you want, it's a battle you get." I grabbed a random Pokeball from my bag and threw it in the air. The glistening black ball released my new Hypno; go figure. Hypno would work, even though I've only had him for twenty-five minutes. Let's see how this battle goes. Hypno looked at me with his pinpoint pupils and started swinging his pendulum. I willed myself not to stare at the mesmerizing charm, so after a while he lost interest.

    The masked, redheaded woman swung a scratched Pokeball out in the open which caused a simple Zubat to erupt from it. Zubat were these tiny, blind, purple creatures that fed off of human blood. The species always seemed to fascinate me, whether it be its echolocation talents or its… Bad reputation.

    “Let’s see if this new Pokemon I stole is any good! Use Supersonic!” the Zubat then opened its maw to release a neon-blue aura, emitted by a high-pitched shriek. The noise did not bother me, but Hypno was now holding his pointed ears in pain. His pin-point eyes were tightly shut, with his human-shaped body doubled over. The Zubat then closed his mouth and fluttered in place proudly. I gritted my teeth in frustration. Confusion has never really worked well for me, and Hypno doesn’t even fully trust me yet. This is going to be bad. The thought of seeing this Zubat being ripped from a civilian's hands made me shudder. There are some cruel people in this world, but that was an all time low. Unova was known for its peaceful demeanor, but that reputation will surely change with these lunatics running around.

    “Hang in there… Use Hypnosis,” I said as Hypno tottered around the cold alleyway in a daze. The woman across from me was smirking under her mask, her icicle eyes never wavering.

    Hypno shook his head and teetered around. Suddenly, causing my chances of winning to go down the drain, he dopily held the pendulum in front of his face. He looked intrigued, swinging the charm back in forth like it was a childhood game. Please don't, please don't, please don't, I chanted in my head. In a way I was trying to communicate telepathically with him, but it was no use. Hypno crumpled to the ground into a twitchy golden lump.

    “How stupid can you be?” I muttered to Hypno. I give my Pokemon criticism when they do something that I don’t like; it actually helps them work harder in the end. It’s like love criticism. Every parent in the universe has done that before, right? Some Pokemon Rights Activists might have a fit if they saw me doing this though. It’s not even bad as long as I’m not beating Pokemon or stealing them, like these asylum patients in front of me.

    The woman let out a sharp laugh that sent chills down my spine. “Now this is rich. First you challenge us, and then you send out a Pokemon that doesn’t even listen to you! This battle is over, runt. We all have serious business to tend to.” Her short lackey muttered something in the woman’s ear. The lady looked thoughtful for a moment, her gray-blue eyes narrowing.

    “I’ll tell you what,” she started as she whipped out a business card and handed it to me. “You seem like great material for our little operation. If you ever feel the need to join us, here’s the card. People change kid; I was just like you when I was a teenager.” Hmm, well that’s a scary thought. I looked at the white slip that was in my pale hand. The header of the card was a half black and half white shield, with blue stripes dividing the two conflicting colors. The card read as follows:

    Plasma

    We will make the world a better place, to separate people and Pokemon. The world will live in harmony, if you will help our cause.
    Call here if you would like to join: 555 - 1942


    The card didn't really make much sense to me, what this woman was doing was stealing, not at all liberating. My muscles tensed around the card, ready to rip it up. Something in my body was curious though, so I quietly pushed it into my back pocket.

    "You seem Plasma material. Give it a thought," the masked woman stated with a glint in her eye. She and her ninja-pirate buddies strode out of the depths of the darkness, leaving Hypno and I standing there in the alleyway. I have never heard of Plasma before, but I recall Cheren saying once before that a fiasco was going on somewhere in the northern regions of Unova. I made a mental note in my brain to ask him about that the next time I can.

    Hypno was crumpled on the cold concrete, breathing deeply. I didn't actually think that he would be stupid enough to actually look at his pendulum, but that confusion must have really taken a toll. Training, I thought. Training, training, training. I'll be sure to whip him to shape, whether he likes it or not. After all, according to Cheren, I’m a girl who knows the hearts of shadowy Pokemon.

    I sent Hypno back to his Pokeball and gave up my quest on finding the garden. By now my head was clear as day, so the peace was not needed anymore. I walked back into the mouth of the metropolis with a new attitude to this area. Busy is good; crowded areas meant that there is life in this city--- more life than others at least.

    While wandering aimlessly through Castelia, I learned many lessons. The first one was that I should not talk to anyone in the streets; asking directions is out of the question too, seeing as how awkward and shy I am. The second lesson was that there is about a ninety percent change of getting lost through the streets. I found my way back though, thank God. The other lessons are not as important though, such as the Castelia hospitality, the food, and lastly their city layout.

    The melodious sound of music drifted through the content alleyway, causing me to follow the smooth jazz notes. The music led me to a small orange door on the side of a flat iron building, with a small bronze bell that swung over the frame. Jazz music flowed out of the tiny shop once I walked in the door. Instantly, I felt warm and at home; I don’t really know why. The Café had a wooden stage in front of the circular tables, which a guitarist was strumming a nice tune with backup from a saxophone player. The two instruments blended harmoniously, creating a soft song that was pleasing to the ear. I pulled up a tall black barstool from the row in front of the oak counter, and traced shapes with my index finger on the wood.

    “Welcome to the Café Sonata… Can I get you anything?” a lean man in a waiter’s uniform asked me from behind the bar. His face looked tired behind that fake smile.

    “Lemonade please, if you can,” I answered as I pulled out a couple of crumpled dollars from my pocket and set them on the table. The bartender nodded and sifted through a refrigerator hiding under the wood. He set the neon can of lemonade on the bar and took the money in return. It was exact change, I counted.

    “Thank you, I said as I sipped the tart drink. Lemonade always refreshed me, which is why I drink it. As I listened to the music that was playing, I thought about my mother. She used to sing to me when I was little; it made me so happy when we had good times like that back then. I thought about her burn. I highly doubt that my mother provoked those people in any way to make then do such a thing. A Houndoom can be a very faithful companion, that is, if you train them when they are still a Houndour. Evolution changes some Pokemon in such a way, that it’s not even like the same creature that you ever knew and loved. This is only with specific types; the most affected ones that these transformations happen to are usually fire, dark, ghost, or psychic--- all of my favorites. I pray to Arceus every night that my guys won’t change once they evolve; though I can’t make any promises.

    I haven’t spoken with my mother since Virbank City’s gym battle. Knowing what she went through on her journey, she’s probably quite worried about my well being. Giving up on yet another battle in my mind, I filed through my shoulder bag and started to call her over the Xtransceiver. After a while now, there was no answer. After about forty seconds of the snowy background, I just hung up the mechanism. Well, no news is good news, right?

    “I can’t even fool myself…” I whispered to nobody.

    The time was ticking away, along with my patience. I pulled the business card out of my back pocket, the card that the woman handed me. The card didn't even tell me what “Plasma,” is, or let alone what they do or stand for. All members must keep these things on them at all times, in case a gullible person like me comes along. I tilted my head as a thought came to me. Cheren might know what this is. He’s been through a lot in his life so far, plus his analytical brain remembers every detail. I called him on my caveman Xtransceiver. Both of our faces appeared on the cracked screen, my face looking slightly more ragged; what else is new?

    “Hey there, Grim. What do you need?” Cheren asked me as he turned from the camera a bit to talk with someone. I refused to answer him until he came back on screen, which he did.

    “Can you tell me about some people named, Plasma?” His familiar face changed from a content expression, to a conflicted one.

    “Why?”

    I didn’t know how to answer him. He must know something about Plasma; I can tell when somebody is lying to me. “I battled some guys with ninja-looking suits on… They gave me their business card, which says ‘Plasma’ on the front,” I explained as he now had a puzzled look. Cheren sighed and muttered, “I thought they were gone…”

    “What is it?”

    “I-I have to go do some research on this; just try to avoid them as best as possible. Can you do that for me?” He asked, his stormy eyes pleading.

    “Yeah, I just thought,” I started as the rest of the lie got caught in my mouth. He turned his camera off, leaving me staring at the snow. There is something that people aren't telling me, and I don't like it. I know that I’m going to find out about this gang, whether Cheren likes it or not; and that’s a promise.
    Last edited by Toxic Nightshade; 27th April 2013 at 3:40 PM.




  16. #16

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    Chapter 9: Goals in Mind

    My mother always used to say that if I believed in myself, I could do anything; even touch the stars. That advice was uplifting in my childhood. When I got older, I learned. The higher you get to touching the stars, the more you realize how far away you actually are. The same is with your aspirations. Cold hard reality tears apart the dreams I have. Little by little, seem by seem. I try to keep that little saying in my mind, but reality clouds that too.

    Seeing Castelia with all its inhabitants and mechanization, seemed to wake me up. This is the real world; people scurrying to work, coming home, and maybe ignoring fellow civilians on the way. I was too naďve to realize before, that I can't live my life chasing the stars that I will never catch. Dreaming is encouraged when you are a child. I'm sixteen. What are my true aspirations of this journey, of my life?

    Thinking about all this, I kept finding myself pulling out that business card. I looked it over multiple times, so now I have the number memorized involuntarily. Why do I keep looking at this? This card is trash and it should be in the trash; except I cannot bring myself to throwing it away.

    Hypno wandered around the sidewalk, chasing a butterfly. He distracted me for a short while. I bit my lower lip. Why was he so hard to crack? I've worked with many of psychic types, but this guy was entirely different. Confusion shouldn't make him swing that pendulum in front of his face! I buried my head in my hands. He doesn't trust me yet; that had to be the case. A Pokemon couldn't be that aloof without a good reason.

    "I-is that your Hypno?” Oddly enough, that soft-spoken voice startled me. I didn’t really expect anybody to talk to me, let alone notice me. I brushed loose strands of my blonde hair out of my face.

    "I'm sorry if I scared you, it's just that I know when a trainer is in need." I looked at where the voice came from and saw a boy at around my age. He was a couple inches taller than me, with coppery brown hair and soft eyes. His whole air seemed familiar to me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

    “It’s alright. Thank you, but I can handle him perfectly fine,” I lied, glancing at Hypno. There was no way I was a seasoned trainer. There was no way I could crack him by myself. I didn’t know if I could trust this boy either, people in Castelia are always a puzzle to figure out.

    He nodded. “Alright, I just saw him prancing around and thought something was wrong,” he answered with a slight smile. He was about to walk away, but I stopped him short.

    “What’s your name?”

    “… Owen. What about you?”

    “M-Millie,” I stuttered as I thought about where I’ve heard his name before. His face seemed familiar too.

    “I’ll remember that, it sounds like a nice name. May I sit?” Owen asked as he gestured quietly to the rest of the empty bench beside me. I scooted over for him, and he sat down.

    “So, do you train a lot of Pokemon?”

    “Yes, I train them much more than regular people do.”

    “Do you do musicals?” I asked him. That was the only way that somebody could bond with Pokemon more than regular trainers. I actually like musicals more than movies, just watching the elegance of the Pokemon onstage dancing with the music and props makes me feel so enchanted. I’ve only seen a musical once before, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. Owen nodded. I was right; maybe that’s where I’ve seen him before. The musical Pokemon don’t usually stray from their owners. Every different musical trainer has a certain style, or gimmick up their sleeves.

    Almost reading my mind, he answered, “I usually use graceful Pokemon in my performances. Sort of like psychic or water Pokemon. They flow and dance beautifully.”

    “So that’s why you wondered if Hypno needed help… You know what to look for in a psychic type. I just got him, so I shouldn’t really know. I… I only seem to be good with teaching dark or ghost types.”

    “You are both right and wrong. I do know a lot about psychic types, but I feel as though we shouldn’t classify Pokemon like they are separate colors. Types mean nothing, except for the said Pokemon’s specialty. Just because you have two Pokemon of the same type on your team, would you change it? Switch around the creatures you love?”

    I stared at the ground. Owen was opening up new questions for me, thoughts that have never traced my brain before. Why am I mixing up my team’s typing? I know that all gym leaders specialize in one type. If I become a gym leader, should I do that as well?

    “No. You’re right, typing means nothing.” I was thinking of not catching any more ghost types on this journey, due to already having Duskull on my team, but then I realized that it was an absurd proposition to even think of. If I love a certain breed of Pokemon, then I will catch it.

    “Typing didn’t even exist until society made it so.” My mind was racing. First I was thinking about my aspirations, then Hypno, and now I’m thinking about Pokemon types. Processing this information was a big burden, but it is worth it; every word of it.

    “So, um, what breeds of Pokemon do you raise?”

    “I could show you, if that’s alright.”

    “Of course.” Owen stood up and took a tiny Pokeball out of his pocket. He threw it in the air, and a sea-blue creature erupted from the red ray. It was slick looking, with two fins sprouting from its face. The Pokemon had a long tail, with a flipper-like tip. It was pretty cute. I bent down to pet it, feeling millions of miniscule aquamarine scales almost invisible to the naked eye. The water Pokemon closed its violet eyes in content.

    “Millie, meet my partner in crime, Vaporeon,” he joked as Vaporeon mewed at the sound of his name.

    “He’s so adorable,” I stated as Hypno came to look at who I was petting. He stared at Vaporeon with curiosity and poked him slowly. Vaporeon didn’t react. He must be used to getting handled, seeing how he does musicals.

    “Thank you. Vaporeon has been with me since he was a little Eevee.” I think I recall seeing a segment on Eevee before on the television. Apparently it can evolve into eight different Pokemon, which is very rare.

    “What made you choose for Eevee to evolve into Vaporeon?”

    “There we go again with the types.”

    “I’m sorry, I was just curious. What made you choose this evolution over the others?

    “It’s fine. I chose Vaporeon because they have the ability to melt into actual water. I did this for safety, and for tricking people sometimes,” Owen stated as he had a faint smile on his face. It was like he was an entirely different person than he was a couple minutes ago. I guess some people can be serious and childish whenever they want. I however do not have that ability.

    “I see. Well, he’s very polite either way. I would love to see this little guy onstage,” I said as I stood up while stroking Hypno’s fur. I didn’t want him to feel jealous of Vaporeon, so I decided to give him some attention too.

    “He’s a true star. It was nice meeting you Millie, but I have to go now. Good luck with Hypno by the way,” Owen stated as he turned around to leave, with Vaporeon by his side.

    “Hyyyyyyp?” Hypno asked me in a deep voice. I looked at him. He barely ever talked before, which should have startled me; it didn’t. Not many things scare me, but for some reason Owen did. He is a very odd person, seeing Pokemon types like classification tools. In a way he made a lot of sense though. Have we been cruel to Pokemon, classifying them this way? No. That’s not possible. Pokemon live peacefully among us and give everybody hope. They don’t seem to mind the judgment. At least, my Pokemon don’t.

    I walked back to Genesis’ tall condominium with Hypno by my side. He has been through a whole lot today, but I still need to get him socialized. I slid the key card through the door and pushed my way through. Genesis greeted me when I spotted her.

    “Hey Millie, you’re back! What did you do?”

    I thought about my answer. “I didn’t do much, except I learned a lot of lessons.”

    “Like what?”

    “Well, I learned that Pokemon types suck, Hypno is a flighty dope, Cheren isn’t telling me things, my mother is too lazy to pick up the phone, and most importantly that there is a rogue gang of unoriginal, middle-aged, ninja criminals terrorizing Unova; with berets,” I stated with a nod. Genesis arched an eyebrow and Arthur looked up from his laptop with uneasiness. They stared at me like I was in a straight jacket.

    “You’ve been gone for a while, why don’t you take a nap?” Arthur suggested as he stood up.

    “… Castelia is way more eventful than Virbank is any day.”

    Genesis hid the slightest eye-roll. “You get used to it, silly Millie.”

    “I’m not silly,” I defended. I didn’t know that she was so blunt at times.

    “It rhymes with your name, doesn’t it?” I have no retort to that. Genesis can call me anything she wants, as long as she doesn’t use my full name.

    “By the way, Millie, what is your goal of this journey? I know that everybody leaves with a certain goal in mind; excuse my curiousness,” Arthur asked from behind the laptop. Great, this topic comes back to haunt me again. I clasped Duskull’s Pokeball in my bag and thought about everything. I thought about my Pokemon, Plasma, and even Gym Leaders. All I know is that there is no way I’m becoming a nurse.

    “I want to beat the league, and then…” I closed my eyes and thought really hard. When I first left my home, all I wanted to do was prove to my mother that I can do something besides nursing in my life. Suddenly I felt myself speak, when I wasn’t even controlling it.

    “A scientist. I want to study Pokemon evolution,” I blurted. I had no idea where any of that came from, but the words were forced out of me. That choice has been in the back of my mind since I was young. When I was little I read all the books and saw all the Pokemon, but I wanted to know more. How were these creatures formed? Why do they evolve? Why do only some Pokemon evolve? The subject of evolution has interested me for years now, but I guess I overlooked the choice when I was thinking about my goal.

    Arthur nodded. “I see. You might want to meet Professor Rowan of the Sinnoh region then; he studies Pokemon evolutionary theory.” I’ve heard about Rowan. He is a very distinguished and knowledgeable Professor.

    “What about you, Genesis? What do you want to do?” Genesis looked thoughtful. It didn’t take her that long to answer.

    “A Pokemon Breeder,” she stated with an assuring grin. “But first, I want to go on a journey.”

    “Well, would you like to go on a journey with me?” I asked her.

    Genesis didn’t hesitate at all. “I’d love to!” As she said that, Genesis pulled me into a tight hug. I laughed a little. This kid will grow on me, I’m sure of it. At least now I have a partner though, to keep me motivated.

    “Welcome to the rest of your life”, I stated and smiled. Now that I know my true goal too, mine should start now as well.

    *~*~*

    The red-headed woman pulled the black cloth away from her mouth as she took in a breath of fresh air– or how fresh in the air in the conference room was. She sat on the left of an oval table, next to the head chair. She was Plasma's executive, but still not as high up as Colress. By orders of the Boss, he had to sit at the head of the table. The woman wasn't jealous, because she knew that her rank would rise in time. Even though she was a Sergeant, and also part of this corporation when the King was still in rule, Boss chose Colress anyway. The woman thought it was because of his degree from Opelucid University. Apparently he studied global affairs, which the Boss found intriguing.

    All the muffled voices hushed down once the thick door sealed behind a man in a crisp white lab coat and blue hair. Whenever Colress walked into the room, eyebrows raised. Even in Unova, where there is an extreme diversity, his hair stunned us all; a blue cowlick wrapped around his blond head. It drew some attention, then again, that was a good thing when he hosted meetings. The woman chose to overlook that aspect of him and focused on his strong, analytical voice. Colress stood at the head of the table and sat down.

    "I have called this meeting to discuss Plasma's initiation process; is it actually testing the person's loyalty? Everybody, think back; what did you do exactly to join this organization?"

    The woman stared at the wood desk; she has devoted three years of her life to this company. Joining day was a tough one. It was her twenty-fourth birthday when she decided to join. College was over, no jobs would take her up, and so in the end she found this place. Initiation wasn’t hard; you just had to sign the bottom of a contract stating your loyalty to the organization. After she signed in cursive on the dotted line, all the doubts flowed away.

    “All we had to do was use forms, and then we were instated. It was quite painless back then,” the woman’s partner, Nicholas, said to everyone. Colress slowly nodded.

    “This is why we need to fix our initiation system. What if somebody goes undercover and sabotages this organization?”

    “The same thing happened to the Rocket Branch in Johto,” the woman said pointedly.

    “Exactly my point, Sergeant Anderson. Four years ago in Johto, our western branch utterly failed, due to a child sneaking in, wearing a Rocket uniform. I--- I mean, we are trying to create a functional system where we can test new recruits if they are actually going to be loyal to Plasma’s cause. Am I wrong?” Nobody protested. The silence was heavy in the room.

    “Who would you get to monitor the recruits?” Sgt. Anderson asked. Since there was no initiation program, or recruit tutoring agency, she was confused about who would do this job. Everyone’s calendar is full, except maybe Nicholas. Nicholas was just her lackey who fetches coffee and fresh notebooks. It would be great if he could make himself useful instead of bothering her with irritating queries.

    Colress ran his fingers through his stiff blond hair. “If that is acceptable, I was planning that you and Nicholas could do it together. I know you’re busy Miranda, being this high up in the organization. We all are these days. You two are the only people with the qualifications to teach these students. They will not look up to a simple recruit like themselves.”

    Sgt. Miranda and Nicholas looked at each other. Nicholas slightly smiled, while her face stayed expressionless. She was trying to get away from this lapdog, not work with him more then she already has. The Sergeant sighed. She knew that orders from the boss were not ones that should be denied. Even though Colress was hardly her upper, she had to treat him like the Boss anyway, no matter what rank she is.

    “Of course.”

    Colress smiled softly, his teeth blindingly white. Think of the paycheck, think of the paycheck, Sgt. Miranda was chanting in her head. No matter how much hell they put her through, food still had to be put on the table. Nobody would pick her up after this malarkey is over. She has committed more crimes than anybody here. Her outlook on Plasma has been deteriorating over the past years, seeing what this place has become.

    “I shall formulate the curriculum for the recruits to follow, you two just enforce it. Everyday business as usual everyone, meeting adjourned.”




  17. #17

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    Attention:

    This fiction has been fun to write, but I requested for it to be closed. I rushed into this entire story, and I want to produce quality work for you guys. I may remake it, but we'll see what the future holds.




  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Cebu, Philippines
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    1,245

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    Thats sad. I really enjoyed the story so far. So thank you for writing it. While it had its flaws, it was a very interesting read. Hopefully one day we get to see its reinception.

    Good luck to you!

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  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    From the land down under...
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    Closed on request of author.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.


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