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Thread: How to Save Serebii (PG-13)

  1. #26
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    YAAY!!! NEW CHAPTER!!!

    Why is Princess Luna in the banner?! You made a banner!? Awesome!

    Dizzy and Alex... SHIPPING!!!

    Grovyle and Eevee... RIVALS!!!

    Grovyle's overreaction is very funny!

    Keep up the good work!!

    So Dormant signing off..


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

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  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dormant View Post
    YAAY!!! NEW CHAPTER!!!

    Why is Princess Luna in the banner?! You made a banner!? Awesome!

    Dizzy and Alex... SHIPPING!!!

    Grovyle and Eevee... RIVALS!!!

    Grovyle's overreaction is very funny!

    Keep up the good work!!

    So Dormant signing off..
    Yay, someone noticed the banner! And I didn't make it; Tini did

    Luna... You will see... Can't say anymore...

    Thank you; I saw the new chapter of Author's Run...


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cueva27 View Post
    Pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa pshshahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahah ahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa
    Whoa, haha overload! XD
    I'm guessing you're laughing, right? Just a lucky guess...


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  4. #29
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    Just read all 3 chapters and loved it. Could you
    Add me to the pm list please?

    Edit: well sorry for the spam :P
    Well, i like the love thing starting with alex and dizzy and to make it even more hilarious make it a love triangle!! And make the two girls rivas trying to compete for alex's attention. If you already have that planned sorry for ruining it :P lol. Keep it up with this great fic hope your writer's block gets cured so you can keep the fic going .
    Last edited by Jorge565; 9th April 2013 at 1:18 AM.
    Black 2 fc: 0176 0022 1991-Jorge
    credit to me

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by jorge565 View Post
    Just read all 3 chapters and loved it. Could you
    Add me to the pm list please?
    Of course; consider yourself added!


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  6. #31
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    As a reminder to readers, please put some substance into your replies.
    Quote Originally Posted by Psychic in the Fan Fiction Rules View Post
    11) The following posts are considered SPAM and will get you into trouble with the Mods:
    –Posts that say nothing about the fic itself such as: “I like this fic!” “That was awesome!” “You’re a great writer!” These kinds of posts can be posted anywhere and don’t show that the poster even read the story. If a writer put in the effort to write a fic, the least you can do it type up a few lines’ reply.
    Generally, a post in reply to a Fan Fiction thread should consist of:
    1. What you liked and thought was well-done in the story
    2. What you didn’t like and thought could have been better in the story
    3. Tips on what the writer can to do to improve his/her writing for the future

    Just because the story is a comedy does not mean posts herein are above the rules.


    And, no I don't have a problem with my "likeness" being used here - after all, this story is partly to thank for inspiring my April Fools' Day fic, so some thanks are in order. :>
    (Though it's a shame none of the staff member characters have much personality, but that's another story I'd rather cover in a review.)

    ~Psychic

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    A reminder that reviews need to conform to the rules in place here. Spamming a lot of HAHAHAHAHAs or just saying that you read it and liked it pm list me falls short of a constructive review!

    Please state some things specific to the story. What parts did you like? Why? Anything you felt could be better? That's more useful for the author, and then it's a review that couldn't be just copy pasted into any other fic thread without change.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
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  8. #33
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    Okay, I just want to say that when I checked my subscribed threads, I saw that bobandbill posted, and I had a heart attack. I was literally yelling "OMG A MOD READS MY FIC!!" Then I saw the posts, and I think they handled it enough (plus I don't want to be a mini-mod), so I'll leave it at that.

    So, I have a little bit of bad news; Chapter Four won't be coming out for awhile because
    A) That darned Writer's Block
    B) I have a bunch of major tests to study for, and most likely won't have a lot of time to write. But, Ill post the chapter as soon as I can, just don't be surprised when it *probably* comes out after a longer time period than the other chapters.

    That is all.
    ~Keldminrachi91


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keldminrachi91 View Post
    Okay, I just want to say that when I checked my subscribed threads, I saw that bobandbill posted, and I had a heart attack. I was literally yelling "OMG A MOD READS MY FIC!!" Then I saw the posts, and I think they handled it enough (plus I don't want to be a mini-mod), so I'll leave it at that.

    So, I have a little bit of bad news; Chapter Four won't be coming out for awhile because
    A) That darned Writer's Block
    B) I have a bunch of major tests to study for, and most likely won't have a lot of time to write. But, Ill post the chapter as soon as I can, just don't be surprised when it *probably* comes out after a longer time period than the other chapters.

    That is all.
    ~Keldminrachi91
    Pfft. Lucky. JK!! XD

    And it's not A Mod. TWO Mods have read this fic!

    Yeah, I know how you feel. Writer's Block is one of the most annoying things that the Author has to go through.

    Well, I hope you pass the tests. It must be very frustrating.

    Oh well, Test are test! I wish thee well! I'm a little sad that chapters will arrive in a longer period....

    So Dormant signing off..


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

    My Author's Profile

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dormant View Post
    Pfft. Lucky. JK!! XD

    And it's not A Mod. TWO Mods have read this fic!

    Yeah, I know how you feel. Writer's Block is one of the most annoying things that the Author has to go through.

    Well, I hope you pass the tests. It must be very frustrating.

    Oh well, Test are test! I wish thee well! I'm a little sad that chapters will arrive in a longer period....

    So Dormant signing off..
    Well, by a mod, I meant that on my subscribed threads list, there was only the most recent post, which was bobandbill's, but when I read it, I saw it was two mods, but...Wait, if they had to post the review- correction thing, does that mean...OMG, TWO MODS READ MY FIC!!! because, how else would they have known about the reviews unless they read the fic?

    Speaking of, I will have plenty of time for about the next three days to write, so if anyone has any tips about my writing, feel free to tell me! And I mean more/less detail/dialogue, grammar, pace, etc. tips. Basically, tips about my writing, and how I can improve it, because I know there has to be something I can do better; I'm only in middle school, so my writing can't be perfect.


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  11. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keldminrachi91 View Post
    Well, by a mod, I meant that on my subscribed threads list, there was only the most recent post, which was bobandbill's, but when I read it, I saw it was two mods, but...Wait, if they had to post the review- correction thing, does that mean...OMG, TWO MODS READ MY FIC!!! because, how else would they have known about the reviews unless they read the fic?

    Speaking of, I will have plenty of time for about the next three days to write, so if anyone has any tips about my writing, feel free to tell me! And I mean more/less detail/dialogue, grammar, pace, etc. tips. Basically, tips about my writing, and how I can improve it, because I know there has to be something I can do better; I'm only in middle school, so my writing can't be perfect.
    you should be proud because you barely in middle school and you can write this good. I'm in middle school too and I'm not even close to being as good as you lol :P
    Anyways a suggestion is to describe/set the setting better. So far when you switch.settings you're not really describing them . For example , You could say "into the green fields with the blissful breeze fluttering past my face." This is not necessity, but I think it could probably make this fic better. But the again what would I know, after all writing is my weakest subject . Maybe you should try asking experienced writers if this would make it better.
    And keep trying your best
    Last edited by Jorge565; 10th April 2013 at 5:42 AM.
    Black 2 fc: 0176 0022 1991-Jorge
    credit to me

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    Quote Originally Posted by jorge565 View Post
    you should be proud because you barely in middle school and you can write this good. I'm in middle school too and I'm not even close to being as good as you lol :P
    Anyways a suggestion is to describe/set the setting better. So far when you switch.settings you're not really describing them . For example , You could say "into the green fields with the blissful breeze fluttering past my face." This is not necessity, but I think it could probably make this fic better. But the again what would I know, after all writing is my weakest subject . Maybe you should try asking experienced writers if this would make it better.
    And keep trying your best
    Aww, thanks! And I will try to be a little more descriptive in future chapters, I do know that there is way more dialogue than description, and the little bit there is is mainly describing other things. Although this will definitely be tough, because I can't overload it, otherwise I feel it would take away from the humorous aspect, which I personally think is the best thing about this (me and my sixth grade bias!) So, thank you very much for the advice, because I was really hoping someone would just say what they don't like about this, I understand it's not perfect, but I need your guys' help to improve it.

    Also, DO NOT be afraid to hurt my feelings because there is a good bit of things you see wrong. If I didn't want anybody to tell me what was wrong, I wouldn't have posted this on the Internet, especially not on a sight where the majority of people are older and more knowledgeable than me in just about everything. If you see things that you have an idea of how to correct, then by all means tell me! Just as long as you have at least a remote idea of what I could do to fix it, even if it's just a little idea. Now, I may be wrong here, but as reviewers and readers, I personally don't think it's your job to rewrite what was wrong in this fic; it is your job to help improve the writer's abilities through critiquing, correcting, and reviewing in general. So if you find something wrong, even if you can't find the absolute best way to say it, I need you to tell me. Just as long as you aren't flaming, I'm okay with constructive criticism (the story of my middle school life, BTW), even if you can't find as many positive things to say as negative. (Although praising doesn't hurt...)
    Last edited by Keldminrachi91; 10th April 2013 at 11:07 PM.


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

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    Quote Originally Posted by jorge565 View Post
    Just read all 3 chapters and loved it. Could you
    Add me to the pm list please?

    Edit: well sorry for the spam :P
    Well, i like the love thing starting with alex and dizzy and to make it even more hilarious make it a love triangle!! And make the two girls rivas trying to compete for alex's attention. If you already have that planned sorry for ruining it :P lol. Keep it up with this great fic hope your writer's block gets cured so you can keep the fic going .
    I wasn't planning on doing that, since a Grovyle-Dizzy-Alex triangle would be awkward (I'm not big I'm mushy-gushy sappy romance, but I thought I could do so very funny things with a little puppy love in here )

    Chapter Four: Viridian: Home of the Weirdest Men in Kanto!


    Never before had Dizzy been taunted so much in her lifetime. Almost every word that came out of Grovyle’s mouth was ‘Dizzy and Alex, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!’, and instead of green, Grovyle’s face was a bright shade of red from the umpteen amount of times Dizzy had slapped her. During one of the moments Grovyle was actually quiet, they all stopped and saw a very strange man. He was standing on an empty plot of land, with a woman just as aged standing next to him. He was shouting something at her, and some nearby children stopped and listened to the new words that would improve their vocabulary.

    “I want my coffee, and I want that sh*t NOW!” The old-as-dirt man shouted, stomping his feet in a tantrum.

    “Calm down dear, the barista said he is getting a fresh batch of coffee beans today from Coffee Co.”

    “I DON’T F*CKIN’ CARE! HE SAID LATER ON TODAY, SO HE CAN KISS MY A** WHEN I GO IN THERE LOOKING FOR MY D*MN COFFEE, WOMAN!!!”

    The main three protagonists in this tale walked over to where the old man was cursing, and Grovyle tapped on his shoulder.

    “Huh? WHO IN THE NAME OF ARCEUS ARE YOU FREAKS?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GREEN PLANT THING?”

    There was a disturbance in the land of Johto as the elderly man yelled the name ‘Arceus’, or to some, ‘Ariel’, or to very few, ‘Armantinehondalavistamacarona’.

    “He did NOT just call me a thing!” Grovyle exclaimed, taken aback at the statement.

    “Anyways, what are you yelling about?”

    “Oh, me? Well, I was yelling about not having coffee. But, I actually have coffee, so I was yelling about not having coffee when I had coffee, but I also wanted more coffee so I was yelling about having not having and having coffee, and I wanted better tasting coffee, so I was yelling about having not having having wanting not wanting coffee.” He finished proudly.

    You’d have thought Dizzy and Grovyle were unable to comprehend English.

    “So you were yelling about having not having having not having wanting not having not wanting coffee?” Alex asked.

    “No, I was yelling about having not having having wanting not wanting coffee. And on top of that, I was acting!”

    One word to describe our faces? Dumbstruck.

    “Anyways, I will now show you how to catch a Pokémon!” the man said. He pulled a small yellow box that slightly resembled a TV from his bag and touched a few options. A man appeared on the screen, standing on a flat patch of land, surrounded by grass. There were subtitles at the bottom of the screen, since TVs in Pokémon don’t get sound reception. Much like Pokémon toilets.

    “HELLO, THIS IS YOUR BELOVED MAXIMO. TODAY I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO CATCH A POKEMON!” the subtitles Read in all caps.

    “Umm, Mr. Dinosaur, who is this?” Grovyle asked.

    “Why, that is me of course! I’ve cut my hair, and I may be a few inches shorter, but be honest; I look just as s*xy as I did back then, don’t I?” he said, striking an odd pose that old men should never strike. The thing is, the two have about as much in common as a Pikachu has with an Arceus.

    There was yet another disturbance in Johto at the mention of Armantinehondalavistamacarona’s name.

    “Mm-hmm, sure, whatever you say old man…” Alex said sarcastically. All four looked back down at the box, watching the tutorial on how to catch a Weedle. When it was over the heroes made an excuse to get away (how convenient that when one person asks about a bathroom, Port-A-Potties are mass produced and sent to each Pokémon center.) On their way, they passed…

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …*pause for dramatic effect*

    …A meditating man. He was also on a flat plot of land, but was surrounded by a clear lake on his right, some trees behind him and in front of him (one was very small) and a rocky cliff to his left. The three approached him, and he started mumbling something about dreams. Once again, Grovyle was the shoulder-tapper. The man floated in the air and turned to face them.

    “Hello children. I am the man who lives with the Drowzee, the man who eats dreams. My name is too long to pronounce, but you may call me Mr. Dream Eater. Now, does anybody have a Drowzee? I will teach them how to eat dreams.

    “No, I don’t have a Drowzee, but I have an Eevee. Can they eat dreams?” Alex replied.

    “No, what else do you have?”

    “I have a Nidoran. I heard they can eat dreams!” Alex, piped up again.

    “No, they can’t.”

    “Oh, yeah, I just remembered, I brought along a Magikarp! Can they eat dreams?” Dizzy said.

    “NO, WHY THE F*CK WOULD A FISH EAT DREAMS?!?”

    “Well, they can fly…”

    “No, they-Hubawubahunhuhwha-?!?!” the old man said, astonished. You would be too if you saw a Magikarp flop into the lake, and then scale the mountain in a single flop.

    “But, but, but-“

    “Dizzy, what the heck? I thought you said you wanted to start out on a fresh journey? And where the hell did you find a Magikarp that flies?” Grovyle asked, astonished as the old man.

    “Well, I only said I didn’t want to overpower the little Pokémon with a trained Togekiss; if I didn’t bring a Pokémon, I would mysteriously black out and be sent back to a Pokémon center. And as for where I got it, let’s just say I met a guy who sold it to me for only 500 Pokedollars!”

    “Well, do either of you have anything else?” the old man said to Alex and Dizzy, not figuring that Grovyle also owned a Pokémon.

    “Hey, I own a Dunsparce!”

    “Wha-? How the heck can a Grovyle own a Dunsparce?”

    “’Cause Prof. Oak’s an idiot.” Gorvyle answered.

    “Can’t argue with that. So, let me see your Dunsparce.” Grovyle released her Dunsarce, who stared at the Mr. Dream Eater with unblinking closed eyes. “And now, by the power invested in me, my Drowzee, and Mr. Potato Head, your Dunsparce shall now learn Dream Eater!”

    There was a flash, in which Dizzy could’ve sworn she saw Dunsparce’s eyes open, and the old man said

    “There, you Dunsparce now knows Dream Eater.”

    “Yay, and now I shall test it out on *coughcoughDizzy’s boy-“

    “Hey, why’d you say ‘asterisk cough cough Dizzy’s’?”

    “No reason whatsoever, Alex. I’ll just test it out on you, then. Dunsparce, I command you to EAT ALEX’S DREAMS!”

    “Well, okay then.”

    ”So you picked a stupid one, did you Dizzy?” Grovyle whispered, smirking.

    After hearing the command, the Dunsparce did nothing.

    “Wow, Grovyle, you’re really stupid. It only works on sleeping Pokémon.” Mr. Dream Eater said. Dizzy burst out laughing.

    If looks could kill, Dizzy would be dead twice now.

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    “WEEEEEEEEEE!! WEEE WEEEE WEEEEEEEEEE!! WEEEEE WEEEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Bob whinnied, hair blowing in the wind.

    “Bob, calm down. No need to be the zip lining pig from the Geicko commercial.” Drago said slightly irritated. She seemed to be the only sane one of the group; Psy was obsessing over her broken heel, and was clutching it and asking how much it would cost for surgery to have her shoe repaired, and then there was the Geicko pig. Drago definitely enjoyed the saliva flying off his tongue right into her face.

    Why she let him lead, she’ll never know.

    “Alright, Mr. Piggy, High heels, we’re above Cinnabar now.” As soon as they all landed, Psy rushed to the Pokémon center to see if they knew shoe surgery.

    “Wait, doesn’t she own, like, ten thousand other pairs of shoes? Why are those particular ones so important?” Bob asked.

    “It’s woman stuff. You wouldn’t understand.” Drago answered.

    “Like I wouldn’t understand where babies come from? Because my mommy told me that when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they-“

    “Alright, we’ve all been to middle school health class, we know how babies are made!” Drago yelled, dismissing the subject. They were silent, and waited outside the Pokémon center, Drago holding a GPS. There was a small yellow dot moving towards the road leading to Victory Road, along with two blue dots moving with it.

    “Bob, go get Psy; our target’s on the move!”

    After a few minutes, Bob came out of the center alone.

    “BOB!? WHERE’S PSY?!”

    “I can’t go there.”

    “What the hell do you mean? Tell me where she is!”

    “She’s in the bathroom.”

    “Well, that shouldn’t be too big of a deal, considering you know how babies are made.”

    “No, shut up! Just go get her!” Bob yelled, annoyed by Drago’s teasing. Drago was cracking up as she walked through the sliding glass doors, which closed silently behind her.

    Meanwhile, back in Viridian, a creature lurked in the darkness, along with two assistants, watching a certain three people very closely.

    __________________________________________________ __________

    And our certain protagonists marched onward towards the very short Route 2, when Alex screamed identically to a fan girl.

    “OMIGOSHOMIGOSHMOIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH !!! A GGGGGGGYYYYYYMMMMMM!!!!!!!”

    “Uh, what?” Dizzy asked, confused. She saw a building not too far away that was approximately the size of a Pokémon center. It was brown and easily identified by the large glass roof. Alex ran over to the door, followed by Dizzy and Grovyle, when he screamed just like a very unoriginal villan.

    “NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! IT’S CLOSED!!!! WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWYHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY?!?!?!?!?!?! I DON’T DESERVE THIS!!!”

    “Calm down, it’s okay, there’s a gym in Pewter City as well, we’ll just go there instead.” Grovyle said.

    “I seem to remember you saying you’ve never been to Kanto before. How would you know about the Pewter gym?” Dizzy questioned suspiciously.

    “I uh, um, saw a uh, Town Map in the, um, Pokémon center! Y-you know, it had the cities and towns and gyms. Yeah, that’s what I did!” Grovyle answered, sounding more confident the further into her sentence she got.

    “Sure, whatever. Anyways, let’s keep going forward onto Route 2 (which is very short)!”

    The trio continued onwards, leaving the modern city filled with many odd men.




    The three mysterious creatures followed them in the shadows.

    __________________________________________________ ________

    Yes, this chapter is a little shorter, but I think it’s good the way it is.

    Also, I have been stalking the number of views, and my guess is that there are some of you out there who just read and don’t comment, which is perfectly fine. Your views are appreciated, and I just wanted to say that I know you’re there. 


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  14. #39
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    Well, anyway, I'm here for the Review Game. Not sure if I'm the right candidate to be reviewing your story since I'm not really into solely comedic stories however, I will try my best to do good by this review for you and apologize for any problems in it. Thank you.

    “Moderators Psy Chicken and Drago N. Freedom to the meeting room please. Moderators Psy Chicken and Drago N. Freedom to the meeting room please.” The voice stated over the intercom.
    Just so you know, when using speech tags like "said, stated, shouted" you should use a comma after the end of the dialogue and turn the "The" lowercase.

    Two women dressed in business suits of light and forest green approached an elevator, both carrying something so top secret that it cannot be told here, carried in a green briefcase. They stepped into the elevator, and nodded to each other, putting on their black glasses.
    Business suits of "light?" I've never come across a piece of description like that. Also there's a bit of a redundancy in the sentence.

    "Two women dressed in business suits of light and forest green approached an elevator, both carrying something so top secret cannot be told here, inside a green briefcase."

    “Have a nice day.” Through a computer-operated voice system. They continued walking through the mob of people in green suits, white lab coats, machines with hundreds of blinking lights, computers, and coffee, among Coke, Lays Barbeque chips, and, in the bathroom, Charmin Ultra Soft toilet paper. Along the halls were metallic doors, and one exceptionally large one was at the end of the hall. They walked until they reached it, and after Drago punched in the four-digit code that I bet you and I could guess (hint- it’s 1234), the door glided open silently. The door automatically sealed shut behind them. They stood in front of a tall chair, facing the back of it.
    I think the items you listed could be delivered in a much better way so it doesn't come off as a massive text dump. Maybe intermixing it in would a little dialogue would help more, just my two cent.
    “Wait, stop.” He said before the light could shine into and reveal what the case had been hiding.
    Just another speech tag error, "Wait, stop," he said....." You already know these mistakes are here so I'm not gonna point them out any further.

    There are quite a few errors in grammar scattered throughout the chapter, proofreading should be your main aim imo. Grammar can really make a huge first impression on a reader jumping into a story, it can make a massive impression. If your grammar isn't up to scratch it could turn off the readers from giving your story a fair chance.


    Anyway, Chapter 1. Again, I'm sorry if this review isn't what you expected, I'm not really a major fan of solely comedic stories. Chapter 1, it was really hard to follow. It felt like you were moving places rather quickly with each scene and I simply couldn't follow. You, imo, introduced too many characters in such a short proximity of time that it overwhelms the reader a bit. I couldn't tell who the main character was meant to be at all unfortunately or what was going on except that there was a cryptic briefcase. Your flow could be improved on a bit as well. I'd say right now pacing, grammar, and flow are your three worst enemies. I felt completely overwhelmed from the start with the immense amount of actions that took place this chapter without them being as coherent as I thought they should have been for me to keep track of what was going on. I did not expect you to self insert yourself into the story toward the end either. Some of the comedy was entertaining to read and you utilized quite a lot of decently done interactions.

  15. #40
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    Alright, thank you for the review; it's good to take on some genres that aren't your favorite sometimes .

    Just so you know, when using speech tags like "said, stated, shouted" you should use a comma after the end of the dialogue and turn the "The" lowercase.
    Being only about half way through my entre school career, this is something new to me, so thank you for pointing it out. I'll fix it when I get a chance.

    Business suits of "light?" I've never come across a piece of description like that. Also there's a bit of a redundancy in the sentence.

    "Two women dressed in business suits of light and forest green approached an elevator, both carrying something so top secret cannot be told here, inside a green briefcase."
    Well, it's supposed to be light green and forest green, but I didn't want the sentence to be redundant by saying green twice. It's supposed to represent the Serebii main colors (although it ended up redundant anyways; thank you for pointing it out to me)

    I think the items you listed could be delivered in a much better way so it doesn't come off as a massive text dump. Maybe intermixing it in would a little dialogue would help more, just my two cent.
    I will see if I can fix that; I don't really know if I could mix in dialogue, though. I'll see what I can do, but I was trying to make it a little random (but I know that's no excuse for poor writing execution).

    Just another speech tag error, "Wait, stop," he said....." You already know these mistakes are here so I'm not gonna point them out any further.
    Yep, I'll try to comb myself out of this habit (although sometimes my Word Processor auto-corrects it )

    There are quite a few errors in grammar scattered throughout the chapter, proofreading should be your main aim imo. Grammar can really make a huge first impression on a reader jumping into a story, it can make a massive impression. If your grammar isn't up to scratch it could turn off the readers from giving your story a fair chance.
    I do proofread when I get time, but I normally write most/all of a chapter in 1-2 sittings, but I would like to say this; 99% of all the fics out there will have at least one grammar mistake. So, if everyone in the world refused to read any fics that had any grammar mistakes whatsoever, Fanfiction would be very rare to see (but as you can tell by this board, FF.net, etc, it is very popular). Now, to me there are two kinds of grammar mistakes; ones that take away from reading the story, and ones that most will just skim right over a lot of the time. Something like a really bad typo, bad tense, run-on sentence are ones that IMO, take away from the story. Using a comma rather than a period at the end of dialogue is rather one that I will skim over, simply because it doesn't affect how the sentence sounds or reads. So, TBH, I didn't notice any of the mistakes that you pointed out until you pointed them out, and not because I didn't proofread (I do believe I had a self-debate over that one description, though). Because of this, I would say that the grammar of this particular chapter wouldn't turn readers away, unless they have English degrees or something. But I'll do my best to fix the mistakes.

    Anyway, Chapter 1. Again, I'm sorry if this review isn't what you expected, I'm not really a major fan of solely comedic stories. Chapter 1, it was really hard to follow. It felt like you were moving places rather quickly with each scene and I simply couldn't follow.
    TBH, I have been dying for a review, however harsh, because until the mods came with the warning, the only thing mentioned was 'you spelled Internet wrong' which I did purposefully. Yes, I understand pacing was shaky in the first couple chapters, but I think it gets better later on.

    You, imo, introduced too many characters in such a short proximity of time that it overwhelms the reader a bit. I couldn't tell who the main character was meant to be at all unfortunately or what was going on except that there was a cryptic briefcase.
    Just wondering, did you read the prologue? If you read the prologue, it should clear things up in the 'don't introduce so many characters' department. And about the briefcase, it isn't that important (as of now, that is) because one of this fic's 'cliches', if you will, is overreacting, especially with the suspense, making the briefcase seem very important, when something rather unimportant until much later is revealed.

    Your flow could be improved on a bit as well.
    So, basically my pace could be improved two times over? I've always assumed pace and flow were synonyms in the writing world, so could you explain this further?

    [QUOTE]I'd say right now pacing, grammar, and flow are your three worst enemies. I felt completely overwhelmed from the start with the immense amount of actions that took place this chapter without them being as coherent as I thought they should have been for me to keep track of what was going on.[/QUOTE

    I wouldn't say grammar is my worst (read comment from a little further up), because of making the same mistake because I didn't know that it was wrong, being only a sixth grader and all. So, you're saying my actions were kind-of in between important and unimportant? Okay, but since this fic is a comedy (mainly because of some of its unique clichés and randomness, IMO), the majority of the events aren't made to be taken seriously. Just remembering the very basic things (ie in Serebii, there's an important briefcase; Dizzy and Grovyle are at Cinnabar Lab) should easily get you through to where you can understand and enjoy the humor.

    I did not expect you to self insert yourself into the story toward the end either. Some of the comedy was entertaining to read and you utilized quite a lot of decently done interactions.
    Um, inserted myself into the story? I haven't recently read over Chapter 1, so I don't really know what you mean. I'll look though, and will probably be able to figure it out. Thank you for the comedy compliment, and I'm glad you reviewed this.


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  16. #41
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    Great Chapter!!!

    I really like this chapter, it's so funny!

    There was a disturbance in the land of Johto as the elderly man yelled the name ‘Arceus’, or to some, ‘Ariel’, or to very few, ‘Armantinehondalavistamacarona’.
    Ooohhh! I wonder why there's a disturbance in Johto when the Old man shouted Arceus's name or to some Ariel or Armantinehondalavistamacarona

    There was yet another disturbance in Johto at the mention of Armantinehondalavistamacarona’s name.
    XD

    “NO, WHY THE F*CK WOULD A FISH EAT DREAMS?!?”
    This is by far, my favorite line in the story! This is my reaction: XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

    Excellent Job!

    “No, they-Hubawubahunhuhwha-?!?!” the old man said, astonished. You would be too if you saw a Magikarp flop into the lake, and then scale the mountain in a single flop.
    Like what the Pokedex said.

    “Hey, why’d you say ‘asterisk cough cough Dizzy’s’?”


    “OMIGOSHOMIGOSHMOIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOM IGOSH !!! A GGGGGGGYYYYYYMMMMMM!!!!!!!”
    Looks like Alex has a weird fetish for Gyms.... XD

    The three mysterious creatures followed them in the shadows.
    Mysterious......

    Anyways, Great Chapter. I am currently working on my next chapter in my fic but it will be posted! I really like your story! Keep up the good work!

    So Dormant signing off..


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

    My Author's Profile

  17. #42
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    Ooohhh! I wonder why there's a disturbance in Johto when the Old man shouted Arceus's name or to some Ariel or Armantinehondalavistamacarona
    Hmm, I wonder why?

    This is by far, my favorite line in the story! This is my reaction: XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

    Excellent Job!
    Thanks; yup, nobody said Magikarp can't eat dreams (and according to the Pokedex, they can leap mountains; slightly makes sense, considering they also learn bounce) XD Takes me back to flying Rhydon a little bit... XD Good times, good times XD

    Like what the Pokedex said.
    I was either going to make Magikarp or Dunsparce do something like this, but I decided on Magikarp when I saw its Pokedex entry. I REALLY wanted to include the entry, but because of the Pokedex recall...I guess I could've had the old man not heard about the recall, but then he would probably know and wouldn't be surprised.

    Looks like Alex has a weird fetish for Gyms.... XD
    Yes, it is always good to add randomness to every character, right? XD

    Mysterious......
    Yes, they will be revealed soon. Asterisk evil laugh asterisk. XD

    Anyways, Great Chapter. I am currently working on my next chapter in my fic but it will be posted! I really like your story! Keep up the good work!
    Alright, cool. I'll stalk my settings, because I subscribed to he thread XD


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  18. #43
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    KELDMINRACHI.

    This is hilarious. I am literally laughing out loud.

    “’Cause Prof. Oak’s an idiot.” HAHAH YESH!!

    I love how it's so random! It's... BEAUTIMUS.

    Please, Dizzy, add me to the pm list. I BEG YOU.

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSketchQueen View Post
    KELDMINRACHI.

    This is hilarious. I am literally laughing out loud.

    “’Cause Prof. Oak’s an idiot.” HAHAH YESH!!

    I love how it's so random! It's... BEAUTIMUS.

    Please, Dizzy, add me to the pm list. I BEG YOU.
    I'm sorry, but you have been....

    ACCEPTED ONTO THE LIST OF PM-NESS! XD

    I'm glad you like it, and of course I'll add you!

    Also, someone I consider a forum friend has a funny fic as well. You might want to check it out (it's by Dormant)


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  20. #45
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    Previously on How to Save Serebii…

    “I want my coffee, and I want that sh*t NOW!”

    “HELLO, THIS IS YOUR BELOVED MAXIMO. TODAY I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO CATCH A POKEMON!”

    “NO, WHY THE F*CK WOULD A FISH EAT DREAMS?!?”

    “’Cause Prof. Oak’s an idiot.”

    “…Dunsparce, I command you to EAT ALEX’S DREAMS!”

    “Like I wouldn’t understand where babies come from? Because my mommy told me that when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they-“

    “OMIGOSHOMIGOSHMOIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH !!! A GGGGGGGYYYYYYMMMMMM!!!!!!!”

    This time on How to Save Serebii…


    Chapter Five: What Could Go Wrong? Asterisk BOOM Asterisk (AKA- *BOOM*)
    Walking through Route 2 took about five minutes. Although Alex looked very nervous the whole Route, to Dizzy and Grovyle’s surprise. Grovyle pestered him to no end about why he looked nervous, dropping very unsubtle hints the whole time.

    “Deadliest Look” Kill score: Dizzy- 1; Grovyle- 2

    When they entered the vast grove of shrubbery and trees known as Viridian Forest, a Metapod dropped from a branch to greet them. Unfortunately, Grovyle walked face-first into it, causing it to jet back up to the canopy in the blink of an eye. Alex had very conveniently not been looking. The group of three continued walking along, until the “WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!!” happened.

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    A very terrifyingly horrific nightmare-giving Pokémon dropped out of nowhere! No, it wasn’t Darkrai. It was the DREADED CATERPIE!!! Alex screamed like a little girl and backed away behind a tree. Then a Metapod dropped down at his feet and he ran and fell backwards into a bush, where a Butterfree flew out. He backed into a corner, trapped by thick undergrowth, with the evolutionary lie of Caterpie surrounding him. He crouched and stared, horrified at the bugs.

    “Oh come on, it’s just a little bug!” Grovyle said, reaching to pick up the Caterpie. What she said was even worse than saying ‘What could go wrong?’ Suddenly, the Caterpie grew to be fifty feet tall and Alex screamed again. Grovyle recoiled backwards and Dizzy was speechless.

    “RUN! RUN LIKE YOUR GRANDMA’S ON YOUR TAIL WITH A COPY OF TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD ON AUDIO TAPE!” Grovyle yelled, and the three scattered.

    __________________________________________________ ______

    When Drago and Psy exited the Pokémon Center, they found Bob talking to a man with a blue hat and black glasses. The man also wore a blue suit.

    “Let us on your boat! We have very important business to attend to!” Bob said angrily.

    “Show me the ticket and I’ll let you board the S. S. Kanto Express.”

    “We, er, don’t have tickets,” Bob said, motioning towards the two Moderators who had come to join him.

    “Well, ever heard of no shirt, no shoes, no service? This is no ticket, no slack, no travel!”

    “Well, I’ll show you no slack you little-“ Psy said, her temper rising after having such a wonderful day so far. Drago tapped her on the shoulder.

    “Psy, you do know that we have jet packs, right?”

    “Uh, yeah, of course I did! I was just messing around, come on! Let’s go get those jet packs!” The trio walked off, the boat captain looking befuddled.

    “Ah well,” he said in a deep voice, “What could go wrong?” Immediately after finishing, his precious cruise liner exploded and the people screamed as they were turned into…

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*


    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    …Giant wheels of furry cheese and rubber fudge! They rolled around the deck ad into the sea, smearing hair, mold, cheese and chocolate all over the ship. When they hit the water they all turned into Magikarp and flopped through the water to Viridian City where they astonished the Dream Eating man by scaling Victory Road and defeating the champion by using their massive weight to crush the Pokémon beneath them.

    And that’s how people came to respect Magikarp and worship them as their leader for all of eternity.

    The captain shrugged.

    “I still have their money! And now away to Hoenn to find a talking Grovyle and a flying Rhyhorn that I will capture and use to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! MWHAHAHAHA!” And he flew off into the sunset, farting rainbows and vomiting lollipops

    ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬____________________________ ________________________________________________

    His ambitions truly were stupid; if he wanted to take over the world, he should’ve captured a Magikarp army. Rookie mistake.

    __________________________________________________ _________________________________

    “Oh sh*t, they’re out of fuel!” Bob said, kicking the hunk of metal. He squealed and started hopping around on one foot, sucking his injured toe and screaming.

    “Bob Anderson Billison, would you possibly consider acting more mature?”

    “B-But-“

    “Shut up. Just shut up and let me see if there’s any fuel around here,” Drago yelled, beginning to look around the abandoned storage unit they were in. Something told her it had been used in Storage Wars, but she couldn’t figure it out (especially with the distracting sign that read in huge letters ‘USED FOR STORAGE WARS’).

    “I already checked, and all I found was some old…poop,” Bob piped up.

    “Eww! That’s disgusting Bob!” Psy said, jumping back. Bob pretended not to notice as he picked up a plastic bag filled with the stuff and walked over to the jet packs, and dumped an equal amount into each fuel box.

    “Are you sure the packs can handle it?” Drago questioned.

    “What could go wrong?” He replied.

    “BOB!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER SAY THAT! Whenever somebody says that, SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG! IT’S COMMON FANFICTION AND GENERAL MEDIA KNOWLEDGE! Take the Magikarps for example. We now worship them because a boat captain said ‘What could go wrong?’!” Drago yelled.

    “Relax, nothing’s going to happen.”

    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    “So, exactly when does the bad thing happen?”

    “By the time you can count to ten.”

    “Okay. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10.”

    “You skipped7 and 9.”

    “No I didn’t. Haven’t you heard that 7 ate 9?”

    “That’s just a joke. And if 7 really did eat 9, the 7 would still be counted.”

    “No, because the joke forgot to say that 9 had explosive properties and 7 blew up after eating it.”


    __________________________________________________ ___________________

    The trio flew off into the sky, Drago and Psy reluctant. Then they all got out something very secret. Very very secret. Very very very very very very very secret. All three of them owned…

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    …An iPhone 2000! They began playing Lapras Surfers, Battle Frontier Run, and Berry Ninja, and had a fight about which game was better; Angry Voltorb or Bad Electrode. And because Bob said the unthinkable words earlier, something terrible happened. The jet packs stopped working and the three fell into the ocean.

    “NOOOOOO!! I HAD JUST BEAT ANGRY VOLTORB! WHAT KIND OF SICK WORLD IS THIS?!” Psy shouted to the universe, which replies by having a Magikarp fall on her head. Inside the Magikarp is a small slip of paper much like you would receive in a fortune cookie. The paper read

    “I am the universe and you have contacted me. My inbox is full, so please leave a message after the beep.” There was a beep. Psy just placed the Magikarp in the water and watched it lifelessly sink to the bottom. They began swimming towards Pallet Town, which was just in sight. They got out of the water and were shivering, so they barged into the first house they saw, which was thankfully empty. Then they all cried over a very sad, sorrowful loss. During the swim, they had all lost their…

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    *pause for dramatic effect*

    …iPhone 2000s!

    “I’ve always wondered why the people in Kanto don’t watch over their houses. Leaving them unlocked is dangerous,” Psy noticed, sitting at the table in the kitchen.

    “They do that in other regions, too. Johto doesn’t for the most part, because they have hotels,” Drago replied, making coffee at the counter.

    “And because Dracula lives with a princess pony in a house on Route 29!” Bob shouted randomly.

    Psy and Drago stared at Bob for the umpteenth time that day.

    “You know, Psy, I’m starting to question the intentions of Master S sending Bob with us.”

    “NEVER QUESTION THE MASTER!” Bob yelled across the kitchen.

    If you’re keeping tally of odd stares, make it umpteen +1.

    “Anyways, I’m going to bed. See you, Psy,” Drago said yawning.

    “Yeah, me to. Night, Bob,” Psy replied.

    “Okay, can I just tell you two something?” he asked.

    “Sure, but make it quick,” Drago answered.

    “I know how Magikarp are made.”

    “Bob, we’ve already been over this. We all know that when a mom and dad-“

    “That’s how babies are made, not Magikarp. Magikarp are made when exactly 301 people board a cruise liner and the captain yells ‘what could go wrong’. Then they all turn into furry, cheesy, rubbery fudge wheels and roll off the boat. Then they turn into Magikarp in the water.”

    Umpteen +2.

    __________________________________________________ _____________________

    Grovyle was hopping along, away from the Caterpie that was chasing her. Although she was practically going in slow motion, because the Caterpie stopped to eat trees frequently. With the canopy above her disappearing, she saw the exit and dashed for it, seeing a large red button on the door that said “GOAL BUTTON”. She pressed it and the Caterpie shrunk back down to normal size. She decided to wait or Dizzy and her boyfriend, sitting in the tall grass to try and scare them when either one of them came by.

    __________________________________________________ ________________________

    Dizzy watched as the oversized Butterfree landed in the large tree above her. The tree drooped to one side, and the Butterfree kept hopping from one side of the tree to the other. It shrunk for some reason and she noticed a trainer staring at it. He turned and noticed her, challenging her to a battle.

    “Hey, I want to battle you! Go Pidgey!” the young boy yelled, releasing the bird. It squawked as it came out. Dizzy released her newly-acquired Squirtle and the turtle popped out.

    “Pidgey use Wing Attack!” the tan bird flew up and crashed its wing into Squirtle, sending the turtle flying. It landed on its feet.

    “Use Tackle!” Dizzy commanded. The Squirtle rammed into the Pidgey and knoked it from the air temporarily.

    “Use Sand Attack!” The boy yelled, and the Pidgey kicked dirt up at Squirtle, who dogged it by ducking into its shell.

    “Bubble, Squirtle!” The blue turtle spit little bubbles at Pidgey, who fell to the ground, and didn’t get up.

    “No! Pidgey! MY PIDGEY FELL AND CAN’T GET UP! WE NEED LIFE ALERT!” he yelled, bending over his Pidgey. Dizzy and Squirtle turned and walked away wordlessly from the strange trainer.

    __________________________________________________ ________________

    Alex cowered in fear as the terrible Metapod did absolutely nothing. It sat, very bored, eye half closed. Alex hardly breathed, and the Metapod eventually fell asleep. Shortly after, the bug shrunk back to normal proportions. Alex slowly rose from his corner and backed away from the cocoon, trembling.

    “Nice buggy, nice Metapod. Stay asleep, good buggy,” He said before screaming and running the other way. The Metapod shrugged with nonexistent shoulders.

    Alex walked through the grass with Eevee, who Tackled any bug that got within four feet of Alex. He continued walking alongside his Eevee, when he saw a shiny Caterpie! Eevee automatically tackled the bug, and it was sent flying into the treetops.

    “NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY MEEEE??? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU, UNIVERSE?” The universe dropped a Magikarp on his head in reply. He slipped the paper out of the fish’s mouth.

    “Ugh, this is getting annoying. My inbox is full; please leave a message after the beep.” There was a beep. Alex stared at the lifeless fish, which blinked suddenly and flopped out of his arms. Then it splashed over the mountains to join the ranks of the other Magikarp from the ferry of exactly 301 people who lived as furry, rubbery, cheesy fudge.

    __________________________________________________ ______________

    Okay, sorry it took so long to get this out. O_O I’ve been busy with tests, upcoming tests, and a fieldtrip to Universal!  Hopefully I’ll have more time to write in the future!


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  21. #46
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    New Chapter....

    AWESOME!!! IT IS BACK BABY!!! YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Great Chapter as always! The introduction... Heh...


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

    My Author's Profile

  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dormant View Post
    New Chapter....

    AWESOME!!! IT IS BACK BABY!!! YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Great Chapter as always! The introduction... Heh...
    Thanks. I know the intro was similar to yours, but I'll be doing something different with each one.


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  23. #48
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    Okay! But seriously, Good Chapter! Heh, Magikarps and Giant Caterpies! Man, Alex seems to be a sissy. XD


    One Author, One Creator and Two boys. Set in Johto. Where everything is not what it seems. For they must flee from the group called the Grammar Police. And saved the World from an unknown threat.

    Credits to ~BrightStarVictory~ of Subspace Generate Graphics!

    So Bad It's Good and, So Bad It's Good 2: War of the Turkey

    Oneshot(s)! It's-IT'S. It's.....Something. Caution: May shatter your sanity. Read, if you dare.....

    My Author's Profile

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dormant View Post
    Okay! But seriously, Good Chapter! Heh, Magikarps and Giant Caterpies! Man, Alex seems to be a sissy. XD
    Yup, underappreciated Pokemon will be everywhere, and there are no Pokedexes... Take that how you will. ;P

    So, I can check Dunsparce off, Caterpie, Magikarp...


    ~Back from hiatus (let's see how long this will last)~

  25. #50
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    Just went through and read this in about 20 minutes. This is an AMAZING FanFic! If you improve on a few things, such as not making random comments, almost like footnotes, in the text, you might write the next Adventure Of Adventureness!. The last chapter had me gasping in laughter, which is awkward because i'm at school right now. So, love your fanfic!

    Shymain

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