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Thread: Hostage (T, Jupiter/hilbert)

  1. #1
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    Default Hostage (T, Jupiter/hilbert)

    Name:Hostage
    Author : epicjirachifan
    rating: T
    Ship : Jupiter x hilbert (dosent have a name according to my sources, correct me if im wrong.) as the main ship also hints of CodependentShipping
    type: oneshot

    story:
    “Hi Mars.” Jupiter stated as mars walked in to the team galactic commanders office.
    “Hey Jupie!” mars said as she flumped down on to her favourite red bean bag “so Jupie ya got a boyfriend yet?”
    “no I have… and FOR GODS SAKE STOP CALLING ME JUPIE!!!”
    “sor-ry!”mars said sarcastically. “ so you haven’t got a boyfriend yet.”
    “no I haven’t.” Jupiter stated abruptly.
    “man you say it like it’s a good thing.”
    “ that’s cuz It is. You have Saturn and you should be content with him.”
    “Actually Saturn has a crush on our leader. And so do I.”
    Jupiter raised an eyebrow, “You mean you have a threesome?!”
    “Yeah, I guess you could call it that. “ mars said, “Saturn’s bi and I love both of them, problem?”
    “no” Jupiter grunted
    “well you really should get a boyfriend Jupiter, you need someone you know.”
    “no I don’t”
    “yeah you do, Jupiter.Itll do you bucket loads of good.”
    “I’m better off on my own anyway.”
    An awkward silence fell between them. Charon walked in.
    “Hey charon will you be Jupiter’s boyfriend?!”
    Charon laughed, “well….” he said “I’m a bit old aren’t I?”
    “oh for petes sake.” Jupiter mumbled as she stormed out the room.
    A few minuets later, Jupiter arrived at her destination, her purple clad room at the end of the 3rd executives floor in the vielstone galactic building. She went in and locked the door. She untied her deep purple hair and reached din to the mini fridge. She took out a packet of dark side skittles and a silver edition red bull.
    With her income and pay she couldn’t afford anything else. Team galactic had no help from the government nor any extra finances, they where a criminal organisation after all, so big that even the pokemon rangers couldn’t beat them. She sat on her bed, ‘boy friends, lovers…’ she thought ‘Cyrus is only using mars for his own desires, urges and satisfaction whilst Saturn is only using her because she is the heir to a rich family and has an overwhelmingly large inheritance. I’m better off on my own anyways…. But….’
    She then when over to her draws by her dresser and shelves and took out a Samsung galaxy ace, a joint present from mars and charon, mars because it was Jupiter’s birthday and charon to say thanks for all her help with the red chain.
    She tapped on contacts and then clicked on the first number in the list. Her mother, her birth moms number. Her father forced Jupiter out of the house hold, disowned her with out her mother knowing, she was on a two year working vacation to her home region of fiore and then a two month to oblivia immediately after, but still Jupiter went through all the archives and census in order to find her mothers number.
    Trembling and shuddering Jupiter finally mustered up all the necessary courage, and clicked the button. After three ring someone finally picked up, to Jupiter, it felt like an eternity.
    “hello?” said a sweet, silvery, girly voice from down the phone, the voice was the complete opposite of Jupiter’s. “who is this please?”
    “I-I’m Jupiter.” Jupiter stammered “I-is solar there please?”
    “u-um ill get her for you……” the voice said. “MOM!!!”
    ‘Mom?’ Jupiter wondered. ‘hang on “EUROPA?!” Jupiter screeched down the phone.
    “Jupiter?” the voice said “I knew that voice sounded familiar, and the name too, your Jupiter system aren’t you? You’re my older sister….”
    “yes Europa you remember me!!” Jupiter was still in shock about the fact that europa hadn’t insulted her. Europa had never done that to Jupiter but it happened so often to Jupiter that she had learnt to get used to it. Someone would always complain about her looks, or her habits or something else, stranger or no, wherever she went. Someone always found something to complain about her.
    “WHAT IS IT NOW EUROPA?” a familiar strict voice came down the reciver from the other end of the line this voice was an awful lot more like jupiters. You could hear It loud and clear even though it was in the background.
    “Jupiter!” europa exclaimed “Jupiter is on the phone!”
    “Jupiter?” solar muttered and snatched the phone off europa. “hello solar speaking.”
    “Mom!” Jupiter cried.
    “Jupiter?!” solar exclaimed “where are you ?are you ok? What do you do for a living? Is the pay good? Are you in a relationship? Do you have any mates? Where did you live? Did my ex-husband ban you from coming home? Is that why you naver came back?” the questions came in thick and fast.
    “um… I am in sinnoh, im ok. I am in team galactic-not by my own will. The pay is ok, kinda low compared with what I would like. Im not in a relationship. I have a friend called mars, if you can call her that, I live in the galactic veilstone building on floor three and I am in my room sight now. I didn’t come back cuz dad said not to and I heard on the news that you are devorced now.”
    “hang on a sec Jupiter, im googling team galactic.”
    Jupiter startes to get anxious, if there was anyone that she didn’t want to know that she was in a criminal orginisation it was her own mother. She started to tremble.
    “hang on darling YOUR IN A FREAKN ING CRIMINAL ORGANISATION?!?!?!?”
    “mom its not by myown will, I was kinapped when I was 10 and I havent been able to get away…” Jupiter murmerd.
    “EUROPA TAKE THE PHONE NOW!!!”
    Europa took the phone from her mother. “ill call you back ok jupe?”
    “Ok euro.”
    And then europa hung up. Jupiter was surprised that her little sister actually remembered there old nicknames.
    “hey Jupiter are you ok?” mars poked her head round the door “satie and cyrie have a hostage.”
    “hostage? Whare are they from?”
    “oh, hes from unova.” mars said cheerfully.
    ‘he….’ Jupiter thaught.
    “I was on a mission whith my Bfs looking for pokemon we could represent. Legendarys I mean.”
    “did you find any”
    “oh yeah!” mars exclaimed. “im virizion, the grass land pokemon, satie is terakion the cavern pokemon and you are cobalion the iron will pokemon! Suits us doncha think?”
    Jupiter smirked. “yeah I suppose…” and got up to go and see the hostage in the galactic wearhouse.
    “hey LET ME OUT!!!” came a muffled voice from inside the silver box cage thing. Jupiter beant down and cocked her head. She then she deactivated the box so now it was just a cage. The brunette boy inside clung to the bars. “so who are you then?”
    “my name is Jupiter.” she said “and you are?”
    “well… you seem goood enough.” the boy said. “my name is Hilbert, I don’t like that name though, its old fashioned. Yours is a lot cooler.”
    “thanks,”Jupiter blushed. “what do you like better than that name then?”
    “me, my middle name touya.”
    “that’s a nice name. Hilbert.”
    “hey!” he said “don’t call me that!”
    “haha!” Jupiter laughed, staealing his hat, “do you have a girlfriend?”
    “what kind of a question is that?!” hibert exclaimed. “but ill; tell you.”
    “go on then.”
    “well she dumped me two days ago…. Her name was Hilda.”
    “well” Jupiter said. “I suppose she wont mind if I do this then.
    She leant over and kissed him, Hilbert fell over, on to his bum.
    “uh….” he panted. Then he lurched forward, grabbed Jupiter and pulled her open mouth towards his. There toungs clashed and she was getting horny, bit she didn’t care, she hardly knew the boy but she didn’t care about that either. In fact she didn’t care about anything, her mind was going blank. She hardly knew him but she felt strangly attracted to him, and he to her.
    there mouths parted leaving a trail of saliva. “well,” hilbert said “I think that is enough of an invitation,”
    “of course” Jupiter said, releasing him from the cage.
    “thanks.” Hilbert said, as he crawled out. “lets go home.”
    After saying goodbye and getting mars’ number Jupiter collected her stuff and went, with Hilbert to nuvema town.
    “you know Jupiter?”
    “what touya?”
    's-she called me touya!' he thaught,
    “I love you.” he said....

    so there you have it, hope you like it! its my first one shot ever so constructive critisism is always welcome but please no flaming, bashing or anything. Thanks!

    Agression, Destruction.
    Meowstic is officially mine!

    Credit to SM

  2. #2
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    Very amusing, would never have thought of this pairing. To make this one shot better, you can space out the paragraphs and text out as well as include capital letters and full stops in all your sentences including the speech. There are some good grammar guides about that can assist you with it you can find a beta reader if you wish to.


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  3. #3

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    wow... someone actually used hints of a shipping i made. i feel good XD

    I felt that this romance was going way too fast. Complements were exchanged and boom, a couple. But nonetheless, good story. :]
    岩根雅明=♡

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChloboShoka View Post
    Very amusing, would never have thought of this pairing. To make this one shot better, you can space out the paragraphs and text out as well as include capital letters and full stops in all your sentences including the speech. There are some good grammar guides about that can assist you with it you can find a beta reader if you wish to.
    Thanks for the advice! yeah my grammar is really bad, i have found a beta reader and i am going to edit the post with it soon
    Quote Originally Posted by Gothitelle K View Post
    wow... someone actually used hints of a shipping i made. i feel good XD

    I felt that this romance was going way too fast. Complements were exchanged and boom, a couple. But nonetheless, good story. :]
    Yeah i see what you mean, im not that good at one shots, it was a little rushed. Ill try and improve, but thanks for reviewing!

    Agression, Destruction.
    Meowstic is officially mine!

    Credit to SM

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