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Thread: God

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Wigan, England
    Posts
    116

    Default God

    "Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god."

    Rostand, J. 1938.

    ---

    Let me explain some things to you.

    This is how the world ends, in the blink of an eye.

    I destroyed them. I killed them all... but it wasn't my fault!

    You know, I have never really been a big fan of the human race. They are unorganised, primitive, illogical. But in spite of their many faults, they didn't deserve what they got. They didn't deserve the genocide I caused.

    It was him. The one they called Giovanni Ketchum. I have monitored him, like I monitor all of you, everyday for your strange little lives. I let him succeed; I let him rise to power.

    I know, I know, it isn't very nice of me to let the evil little men of your world to corrupt their way to the top, to trample over the weak and the lame and forge empires for themselves. But I never let it get too out of control; my puppets usually ride in and save the day from the evil empires...eventually.

    But Giovanni was different. He did something nobody has ever done.

    He tricked me.

    He altered everything I work so hard to keep going, every man, every woman, every Pokémon, the only way they keep living their easy going, pain free lives is because I let them. Every breathe they take is because I tell them to breathe in; I tell them to breathe out. It's just so simple for them...

    They're born, they live, and they die. How easy they have it...

    Me? I have to do everything! The sun rise...the creek in the floorboards when you try to sleep... the random thought you have one moment and never remember. That's me. I do it all.

    I never complain, I don't ask for gratitude, I don't need gratitude from useless little beings under my command. Well, "useless" may be a little harsh but still... they didn't deserve what they got.

    I was meditating, here, in the Hall of Origin, when suddenly Giovanni Ketchum blinks into existence right in front of me.

    I didn't even see it coming; I don't even know how he did it! I didn't give him time to explain.

    In my shock, I felt my control slip. My puppet strings attached to everything in this universe collapsed. Just for a second.

    I lost control. I killed him then and there.

    In one second, my puppet strings were broken. I was caught off guard. I didn't know what I was doing!

    In my millisecond of confusion I didn't just kill Giovanni. I killed them all. I wiped out every human in existence in one moment of sheer panic.

    I killed a race of seven billion people with a single thought...

    Giovanni got want he wanted. He'll go down in history. He defeated a god. He destroyed the world.

    And it is I who shall wear his medal.

    His medal... my shame...

    There can be no hero this time. No white knight, no saviour. There is nothing now. This is the end of the world as we know it.

    I don't deserve to die, I deserve to live with what I've done. With the pain of knowing I killed billions of people.

    I am alone, nothing to control, nobody to watch over. I shall spend every second of infinite time reliving the moment I killed 7 billion people.

    And I deserve every second of this guilt...

    Immortality shall be my punishment.

    Amen.
    Last edited by GioRocket; 4th August 2013 at 4:49 PM.
    Team Rocket: Built On Lies

    Set after the events of Operation Tempest, Giovanni's next scheme plans to send the whole world into ruin. But how will Team Rocket cope when they realize that Operation Tempest changed Giovanni forever...

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...-Built-On-Lies



    Pokemon Y Friend Code: 1891 - 1654 - 1184

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    maine
    Posts
    43

    Default

    8.7 best new fanfic

    ace is a fuccboi

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    807

    Default

    my puppets usually ride in and save the day from the evil empires...eventually.
    You're missing a space after the ellipsis. This happens a couple more times.

    Me? I have to do everything! The sun rise...the creek in the floorboards when you try to sleep...the random thought you have one moment and never remember. That's me. I do it all.
    Should be "creak", not creek.

    when suddenly Giovanni Ketchum blinks into existence right in front of me.
    I don't know, but this sounds wrong. Maybe rewording it?

    I killed a race of 7 billion people with a single thought...
    You should probably write numbers as words; it looks better.

    There can be no hero this time. No white knight, no savoir. There is nothing now. This is the end of the world as we know it.
    Should be "saviour".


    Overall this was an entertaining story, though it lacked much insight.


    Wild Future ~ Tyrone Walpole
    Credit
    I have claimed the Almighty Charizard.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Wigan, England
    Posts
    116

    Default

    Thank you very much for your comments, I shall fix the mistakes immediately

    Out of curiosity, what kind of other insights would you be looking for?
    Team Rocket: Built On Lies

    Set after the events of Operation Tempest, Giovanni's next scheme plans to send the whole world into ruin. But how will Team Rocket cope when they realize that Operation Tempest changed Giovanni forever...

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...-Built-On-Lies



    Pokemon Y Friend Code: 1891 - 1654 - 1184

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